When you stare into git, git stares back.

It's fucking infinite.

Me 2 years ago:
"uh was it git fetch or git pull?"

Me 1 year ago:
"Look, I printed these 5 git commands on a laptop sticker, this is all I need for my workflow! branch, pull, commit, merge, push! Git is easy!"

Me now:
"Hold my beer, I'll just do git format-patch -k --stdout HEAD..feature -- script.js | git am -3 -k to steal that file from your branch, then git rebase master && git rebase -i HEAD~$(git rev-list --count master..HEAD) to clean up the commit messages, and a git branch --merged | grep -v "\*" | xargs -n 1 git branch -d to clean up the branches, oh lets see how many words you've added with git diff --word-diff=porcelain | grep -e '^+[^+]' | wc -w, hmm maybe I should alias some of this stuff..."

Do you have any git tricks/favorites which you use so often that you've aliased them?

Too much stupid today..

Client: "Our server is almost full, fix it"

Me: "Okay, you can upgrade the VM, or I can see if theres anything that can be cleaned up?"

C: "Clean it up"

Me: *Finds 5 extra MySQL DB's that amount to 50-60GB in total*

Me: "Well I can remove some of your extra databases, and some of the local backups, as they're also backed up offsite. They're currently unused and dated back to the beginning of 2017, everything is out of date anyways."

C: "No"

Me: "Okay, is there a reason?"

C: "No"

Me: "Okay, so we'll upgrade the VM?"

C: "No"

Me: "I'm sorry, but those are really your two options"

C: "Just fix it"
...................
...................
...................
What in the ducking fuck !@#$#%?
If you're so fuggin smart, then why do they pay me?
I'm clearly stupid and unable to read your mind.

Coworker in my team recently said to boss:

"Thanks, this conversation with you has taught me so much about single-threaded blocking I/O"

Some random PR comments from our company's repository:

"Are you insured? I hope you are insured"

"Learning git is not that difficult. You only need one command: git reset --hard"

*Link to amazon for dog poop bags*
"Please clean up your shit, before I step in it"

"Have you thought about a career in sales? At least there you might sell your bullshit"

Boss: Every day is a new opportunity to start fresh
Me: Can we start over this project because I fucked it up and I don't want to clean it
Boss: No

Boss: I have really bad new
Me: What?
Boss: ....
Boss ... we have to clean your room tomorrow and remove all the Stallman posters, because marketing wants to film shit. But dont worry, we put them right up again when they are done

To all developers who think "I don't need to delete that one 1KB temp file"

FUCK.YOU.

You are not the only garbage developer who does not clean his shit up. The reason we need TERA FUCKING BYTE storage devices nowadays is because you incompetent shit heads have no idea how an application has to properly work. A temp file is not there to exist for ever. HENCE THE FUCKING WORD TEMPORARY

Parents:why is my iPad so slow?

Me: It's old (1st gen that came out in 2010)

P:well just clean it up and make it go faster

M:Theres nothing to clean... Theres only a browser app and solitaire....

P: well just fix it so it's faster

M:....... *turns it off and on again*

M: All fixed

Dad calls:
D: Hai, so, um, my pc's not booting up.
Me: So?
D: What do I do now?
M: You tried fixin' it?
D: That's why I'm calling you.
M: I'm 400km away from you. Does it do anything by pressing a power-on button?
D: No. But I touched it, it's really hot.
M: When was the last time you cleaned that shit up?
D: I have to clean it?
*PC is located at dusty environment at work. 5 years old and is being turned on 6 days a week*

Clean. Your. Pc.
Oh, and yeah, it overheated, burned the mbo, power suply, and cpu cooler stopped spinning.
It's like Satan threw a curse on a pc, and took a piss on it.
The best part? He's mad because I "never help him nor have time when he needs something to be fixed".
He can fix the PC in a pc shop that is across the street.

So, you doin' any better this week?

There are times when being "friendly neighbor it guy" pays back.
I have a neighbors, their son is little less intelligent than average person after being injured in accident, I help them from time to time. He gets the pc trashed with adware, usual stuff, they ask me to clean it up.

Recently I broke my arm. They offered to cook for me until I recover to full health... Seriously, that's huge help when you live alone and spend most time working. I'm glad to have them.

Wanted to share with you guys, there are people who appreciate your help with their pc and can give back if you're in need.

Thank you dear mr. boss for fucking up our master branch by adding local changes to a 2 months outdated master branch (250 FUCKING COMMITS BEHIND), pull the remote and then just push without resolving any conflicts!!!1!!!

But thank you so much for sending me an email at 10pm asking me to resolve the conflicts.

It is 3 in the morning and it took 1 hour to get it clean.

Sometimes I want to break some necks...

It's going to be a long day.

When you try to clean up your cousin's laptop.

Just finished all the form function, time to clean up I guess.

Did you guys like to write it clean from start or do it later at the end?

@Root has a code review.

CR comment: “Why would you do it this way? It’s awful. Clean it up!”

Totally fair. I had copied the legendary dev’s code, and it was ick. Cleaning it was easy and enjoyable. I cleaned the source, too.

CR comment: “Why would you touch this? It’s outside the scope of the ticket. You could get it working without changing all this.”

Revert…

CR comment: “The interfaces don’t match. Now it’s confusing, and that makes it harder to maintain.”

🤦🏻‍♀️

So yesterday my girlfriend and me wanted to clean the apartment.

We ended up coding on a private project all day long... but at least we put //FIXME notes all over our place.

Let's see how today goes. ^^

I've had this amazing piece of advice as my Desktop wallpaper ever sense it popped up on r/programmerHumor. I mean I still don't write clean code, but now I know to be prepared for the fucker!

When you wake up, notice your phone fell off the bed (my bed is about 180cm high), don't have google services to locate it/make it ring etc so you log into one of your domain name providers because you've got 2FA enabled there and you might hear the text notification sounds xD.

(in the end, I just had to clean my room partly in order to find it again :/)

Always deliver the goods.

Even if who you work for are idiots, and the product is useless. You never know who will see what you've done.

- I did a six-month underpaid project for ShittyCompany.

- Strived to write it nice and clean with unit tests and good(barely) documentation.

- Got a call up a year later from a consultancy company who integrated with the application I wrote. Now I work for them, and it's as close to my dream job as I could hope for.

Okay so about a year ago these FUKKING IDIOTS decides, against my recommendation, to do this quick-ugly-hack and ninja it into production.
I tell them its a FUCKING BAD idea that will blow up in a year or so...
But no, just go go go!!!!!!!

Now a year later, shit blew up badly. A total FUCKING derail. These new idiots asks me to "fix the problem", the same fucking problem I predicted and warned them about a year ago. So now i have to clean up their ducking mess because "Nobody else knows how to fix it".
What the FUCKING HELL do we pay them fuckkkers to do?!!

New idiots you ask? Yep, because 3 out of the 4 original fucktards already left the place in order to go and make some other new collegues lives fucking miserable.

FUCK YOU FUCKING MOOTHERFUUUKKKEEERRRRRSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That feeling you get when you run

$ php tvVolUp.php

And the god damn tv’s volume goes up a level 😆

Now to clean the shit out of the chaotic mess I just made and make it work from a Rpi which I’ll then add to my voice activated list for my google home.

Coz you know voice activated TV remote in PHP 😍

I don't want to write clean code anymore :(

I read Clean Code, Clean Coder, and watched many uncle bob's videos, and I was able to apply best practices and design patterns
I created many systems that really stood the test of time...

Management was kind enough to introduce me to uncle bob clean code in the first place, letting us watch it during work hours. after like one year, my code improved 400% minimum because I am new and I needed guidance from veterans...

That said, to management I am very slow, compared to this other guy, they ask me for a feature and my answer would be like "sure, we need to update the system because it just doesn't support that right now, it is easy though it would take 2 days tops"

they ask the same thing for the other guy : "ok let me see what I can do", 1 hour later, on slack, he writes : done. he slaps bunch of if-statement and make special case that will serve the thing they asked for.

oh 'cool' they say -> but it doesn't do this -> it needs to do that -> ok there is a new bug,-> it doesn't work in build mode-> it doesn't work if you are logged in as a guest, now its perfect ! -> it doesn't work on Android -> ok it works on android but now its not perfect anymore.

and they feel like he is fast (and to be fair he is), this feature? done. ok new bugs? solved. Android compatibility ? just one day ... it looks like he is doing doing doing.

it ends up taking double the time I asked for, and that is not to mention the other system affected during this entire process, extra clean up that I have to do, even my systems that stood the test of time are now ruined and cannot be extracted to other projects. because he just slaps whatever bools and if statements he needs inside any system, uses nothing but Singleton pattern on everything. our app will never be ready-for-business, this I can swear. its very buggy. and to fix it, it needs a change in mentality, not in code.
---------------

uncle bob said : write your code the right way, and the management will see that your code generates less errors, with time, you will earn respect even though they will feel you are slow at first.

well sorry uncle, I've been doing it for a year, my image got bad, you are absolutely right, only when there is no one else allowed to drop a giant shit inside your clean code.

note: we don't really have a technical lead.
-------------------
its been only two days since my new "hack n' slash" meta, the management is already kind of "impressed" ... so I'll keep hacking and slashing until I find a better job.

My coding-senpai placed this PHP code (before he left) to my org's custom-footer due to a feud that happened months ago

it flooded their cPanel with folders with '.log' as their extension everytime someone visits their website

I LOL'D UNTIL
..They hired me to clean it up :^(

They got over 700,000 of these folders
#feelsbadman

Me and my girlfriend's pillow talk about memory leaks

Me: **... So garbage collection is a means to stopping a memory leak from occuring
Gf: what 's a memory leak ?
Me: a memory leak is like when you want a pizza, and the guy gives you pizza. But you don't eat the pizza and you ask for another pizza. You keep doing this repeatedly. Until the pizza guy realizes what you're doing and decides to kill you. He then takes back all his pizzas
Gf: why would you do that though?
Me: Lazy ass programmers who don't clean up after themselves.

!dev

Dear Airbnb Hosts,

The extra cleaning fee isn't just extra profit for you. I will gladly pick up after myself, before I leave. That said, if you expect me to deep clean your flat, consider leaving equipment to do so. If you send me a shitty email because I didn't buy a broom, mop, bucket and kitchen rags to stock your investment property, I'll tell you about where you can stick that noise.

Sincerely,
Fuck you

QA: When I open the app I get this strange error message that includes "No data connection could be established" near the start of it.

Me: I'll clean up how thats displayed, but the error means your phone doesn't have internet connection.

QA: No that can't be it, I do.

Me: You screenshot shows no WiFi or 3g / 4g symbols.

QA: No those are never there, please investigate.

Me: I have investigated and found that every other one of your screenshots had a WiFi or a 3g symbol. Example: <link>. Please check your connection and try again, i'll clean up the error display.

PM: Oh i've had an issue something like this before. We really need to show users an error screen. We can't just leave them on this screen with no error message at all.

Me: ... we have an error, thats what QA is complaining about, its not loading the text and displaying the error object.

Anyone else want to not pay attention and complain about something else that doesn't make sense? ... no? ... ok good, back to work then

Stupid shitheads among the web designers, fucking listen up. Your fucking design is not the point of websites - the content is. You are not supposed to shove the content away to have your moron design shine in its purest debility.

Yeah I know, white space minimalism yadda yadda, clean interface - and you dumbasses just remove functionality to simulate a clean interface, to the point of using hamburger fuckups on desktop. Pull your heads out of your asses, that's not how to design an interface! Not to mention that you idiots still guzzle through the megabytes and dozens of domain lookups for your chickenshit minimalism.

While we're at it, not everyone is 20 years old like you youngsters - you won't believe it, but there is life beyond 40, and while such age is unthinkable to you because you are so dumb that you will hardly reach that age anyway, others on this planet have managed to get there. No 20/20 laser sight, you know.

Fuck you with your light grey thin fonts on white background because it looks "clean", it just SUCKS you wankers. Fuck you with your stupid ghost buttons that don't even look like a button. You know how to operate the shit you made, but reality check here, users spend most of their time on fucking other websites than on the abomination you have designed!

Get that into the shit bubble that you call your brain and read WCAG 2.1! That's not only for disabled people, but everyone will be able to use that shit better!

Don’t forget to clean up unused docker volumes once in a while...

Week 26 advice - you all probably know this but good to refresh!

Eat healthily

Sleep well

Document clearly

Annotate your code

Use version control properly

Keep yourself in check with project management tools

Your peers are your friends... And competition.

As much as your boss is an idiot respect them and your life will be easier.

With great power comes great responsibility; don't touch that keyboard until you think through what you are doing chances are your first idea is not the best.

Don't write quick fixes and say you will go back to clean it up later on when you have time. That time will never come.

Took me hours to set this shit up and finally everything is clean and ready for work

Thank you

Good luck💦little one💦

The year was 2021 and we have to implement X
Alice, the manager: let's do this and this
Me: actually that won't scale, I did the same in my previous company. Here's an analysis on why it doesn't scale
Alice: nope, we'll have to do it like that. If it doesn't scale we'll fix it. It's a learning opportunity.
The feature was rolled out, and we got tons of alerts after 1 week.
Alice: haha what a ride! At least the team learned something new
Me: I didn't learn anything new. All I got was stress and disrupted sleep because of those midnight incidents...

Then 2022 came, Alice was promoted thanks to the incredible leadership to deliver X, I joined a different project, a part of this project is to implement Y, similar to X.
Bob, the manager: let's do this and this
Me: actually that won't scale, I did the same in my previous project. Here's an analysis on why it doesn't scale, you can ask Alice if you want.
Bob: nope, we'll have to do it like that. If it doesn't scale we'll fix it. It's a learning opportunity.
The feature was rolled out, and we got tons of alerts after 1 week.
Bob: haha what a ride! At least the team learned something new
Me: I didn't learn anything new. All I got was stress and disrupted sleep because of those midnight incidents...

It's 2023 now, Bob got promoted thanks to the awesome leadership to roll out Y, I joined another project, which requires us to develop Z, similar to X and Y.
Chris, the manager: let's do this and this
Me: ah shit here we go again...

When you spent the whole day programming in Swift and your mom says that she fucked up her windows 7 machine and you gotta make a clean install (I hate fixing stupid mistakes made by non tech users)

Me trying to clean up my code is like trying to make dirt less dirty.

DEVS THAT MANUALLY UPDATE AUTOGENERATED CODE ARE THE WORST!!!!

Guess who has to clean up your mess? And be pinged about it later when another dev thinks they wrote the feature??

No, your hack wasn't cool.

Commit Message Part2:
6528fff Code was clean until manager requested to fuck it up
241b35f Who knows WTF?!
4381a32 Argh! About to give up :(
c3bf1a9 more debug... who overwrote!
2d68d6d Fixed a bug cause Maciej said to
b112c1a This branch is so dirty, even your mom can't clean it.
bb456d4 Shit code!
4878b46 Copy-paste to fix previous copy-paste
e2c7e87 A fix I believe, not like I tested or anything
f56109f derpherp
e4b8f4c formatted all
3691208 I'm just a grunt. Don't blame me for this awful PoS.
0888b69 just checking if git is working properly...
62741aa I'm too old for this shit!
0735196 COMMIT ALL THE FILES!
09caccf I CAN HAZ PYTHON, I CAN HAZ INDENTS
1e1cda8 giggle.
ab70bde Fixed errors
934436d Now added delete for real
5f84e30 My bad
99baff8 CHRIS, WE WENT OVER THIS. C++ IO SUCKS.
953473d final commit.
f0c3b57 Just committing so I can go home
4e5ce4e yolo push
deb4e3b I CAN HAZ PYTHON, I CAN HAZ INDENTS
710c06a Commit committed....
3c45e67 it is hump day _^_
4487788 Committing in accordance with the prophecy.
bf86e7e This solves it.
4804f68 FONDLED THE CODE
051d42e REALLY FUCKING FIXED

Manager: The way you built this doesn’t accommodate any of my future plans!

Dev: What future plans?

Manager: I have a bunch of different ideas, I haven’t decided which ones to go with yet or how it will all work but you’re making it so we’re running out of room in the UI. It’s too busy, you need to clean it up so we can add more stuff!

Dev: …

Maybe this could clean up some of the code I’ve seen... 😂

!rant
Finally did a clean reinstall of my six-year-old Macbook. Decided to change up the theme too, really liking the new 80s Outrun look. Running so smoothly too!

If you see someone ranting about a colleague who made a semi-major fuckup which was not recognised during dev and stage testing and made it to production where it was discovered three days after deployment just when he went on holiday, well, that colleague was me.

Why to most developers who look beautiful are JavaScript developers (looking at you Instagram) and all of them have the MacBook and perfectly clean desk. How's that possible.

If I were to clean up my desk it will take around 45 minutes to complete.

I just overheard that someone tried to clean up their computer by going into the C drive, selecting all folders, and pressing delete.

They called the help desk because it was taking a long time

I just cleared out 48,158 monitoring emails from work. These are all automated emails received between mid May and end of November. Outlook is now pouting in a corner and not responding, but I'm not done cleaning up yet...

"As a team, we have the shared responsibility to ___".

(replace with ALL of the following: resolve bugs, do junior's code reviews, clean up dead code, keep the kitchen clean, improve test coverage, write documentation, order coffee beans, etc)

NO. JUST FUCKING STOP RIGHT THERE. Shared responsibilities do not exist. A single person is responsible, and can optionally delegate tasks.

EITHER I DO IT AND I'LL BE FUCKING AWESOME AT IT, OR SOMEONE ELSE DOES — BUT I'LL SLAP SLACKERS IN THE GENITALS WITH MY KEYBOARD.

Fucking startup hipsters with their community driven attitude, this way no shit gets done, ever.

'"Chess" can't be modified or deleted because it's required by macOS.' This is a screenshot I took last year when trying to clean up unused apps on a mac. makes me want to try to forcefully remove the chess app, only to see which integral part of the system it will break.

I could’ve cleaned it up but we all know desks aren’t naturally as clean as people make them for these types of photos...

Today is the first time my pc fully crashed. I keep always everything updated and never had a problem. I didn't know what went wrong. After I opened my pc up I found out that a mouse family was living in my pc. Maybe I should clean the hardware more

The newest addition to our lab - Pikachu!
We managed to overcome the weirdest pinout configuration ever on the MCU and power up the Nvidia Jetson.
Next week I'm going to make a clean install of the Jetson because there is some funky garbage there, and then I'll try to drive the little beast :)

A coworker that is producing incredibly bad code and refuses to learn new stuff was declared "senior developer" by my boss. And me with over 20y experience? I am just a junior.. and have to clean up his mess all the time. I guess it is time to find new job.

This Chinesium power supply looks disgusting 😷 I have no idea what shit this manufacturer put their hands into when they built this piece of garbage (that nonetheless works without blowing up, go figure) but it's all sticky 😐 I want to clean it up before putting it into a new enclosure, but I don't have an ultrasonic cleaner and don't really feel like desoldering all the components and giving it a washing. Are there any other cleaning options that are inexpensive and don't damage the components or the solder joints? Pure alcohol perhaps?

Currently, I am going through a legacy application built in microsoft access back in 90s.

* No Comments
* No Relationships between tables
* Random code that does nothing
* Weird form layouts
* Weird naming conventions

I need to copy this functionality into modern version using SQL Server Management studio and asp.net core, I also need to kill myself because none of this fucking shit fucking fuck makes sense.

I do my best to write clean and concise code along with comments but after this ordeal I am going to up my game because nobody should need to suffer through spaghetti code and stupid logic that is uncommented.

😶

Became a maintainer for 2
somewhat old repositories,
can't wait to clean them up!

Climb into bed, feel something wet under leg. Wtf? I check. Bloody slug...

There was freaking slug in my bed...

Clean it out, change sheets and all (at 4am, I got lost in the code) and then see another one climbing up the side of the bed

When it finally works after hours or days of suffering.

Or, when you clean things up and get to delete some garbage code.

Makes it all worth it in the end

Developers too lazy to google search/read the README.md yet too proud to admit their mistakes.

They create disasters that I need to clean up later because they took a vacation.

I'm going to talk to my supervisor about redoing their code base.
It will take time, it will suck a bit but I think the long term investment in doing this right will be worth it.

Wish me luck in convincing him 😂🤞

GUYS I BUILT A FUCKING URL BAR AND IT EXISTS, IT'S ALIGNED, AND IT FUCKING WORKS

It doesn't have a very good check for what is a valid url tho, it is currently working checking for subreddits like /r/<whatever> and it checks if the link begins with http:// or https://. At some point in the near future I want to clean it up a bit, maybe write some regex (oh god kill me now) that'll actually check for a valid url

How about no?!

Fuck Cypress. It’s a fucking goddamn pile of diseased garbage. Its design decisions actively fight against you, its methods don’t work, it’s unreliable as fuck, and it intentionally keeps stale state so your tests fuck with one another — and that even fucks up its own interface so nothing fucking works.

It’s like stepping into the shower and expecting clean water, but instead it’s just some obese guy with diarrhea shitting in your hair, and then getting all indignant that you’re upset about it.

If you consider using Cypress for something, find another project.

!rant
print("Hello World!")

Erm..... Here goes nothing.
Hello everyone, I'm [REDACTED] from [REDACTED] in the SEA region. I'm a highschool student, 17, with a hobby of programming in Python 3 as a self-taught trial-and-error script kiddy, mostly small scripts from random "Yea I should do that, how long will it take?! ¯\_(ツ)_/¯"-moments. I found DevRant while talking with people in a few programming Discord servers. Hope this is enough for a "Hello World!" post....and yea, welcome me to DevRant *pop confetti and hope not forced to clean up later*

I m glad I did not throw away this Android mini PC MK808 which I had purchased a few years ago!! i decided to clean the dust today and start it up and now with this I am able to video conference on my TV again 😁

!rant

TL;DR: "Gather all resources before working on any project and committing to the client... & over smartness can be deadly"

Couldn't stop my laughter after reading this one.

A new vacuum salesman knocked at the door….

A lady opened it. Before she could speak... The salesman rushed into the living room and emptied a bag of cow dung on the carpet.

Salesman: - Madam, if I couldn't clean this up in the next 3 mins with my new powerful vacuum cleaner, I will EAT all this!!

Lady: Do you need Chili Sauce with that?

Salesman: - Why Madam?

Lady: - Because there's no electricity in the house...!!!

😂😂😂

Be careful when you go down the rabbit hole of creating custom observables (rxJS).

I wasted half a day just to find out that there are hot and cold observables and that the whole time I tried to use the wrong one.

It finally works. 01:00 in the morning.
My boss will be proud when he pulls the changes and the code looks completely fucked up (clean, well structured code, but he doesn't really know observables).

Now something different: Sleep. Cya.

Nothing like staying late at work to finish other people's work that they can't get done in time because they were doing side projects. Nevermind that I have two huge deadlines myself. Getting really tired of cleaning up other people's messes.

People with dirty, greasy keyboards and mice. They obviously never wash their hands and all that disgusting gunk builds up around where they touch.

The feeling when you use someone else's mouse, and you can feel the lumpy texture of the sticky grey filth on it.

Clean your desk equipment occasionally, people. Also, wash your hands properly after using the bathroom, and it won't even be much of a problem.

Was cleaning up some of the old files on my system and found the first ever raycast program I had written.. in c++

This was during a time im pretty sure all of you guys just like me learnt the things that you could possibly do using code.

The experience of the first time I ran this and saw the sprites appear was the awe all of us have experienced in our own ways.

The reason I found this picture interesting is many of us end up losing the wonder and sense of excitement that got us into development in first place.

Go back , clean up your drives .. find your old code. I'm sure there is no better feeling than looking at the past you , writing bad code , with a probably bad language on a bad editor with sleepless nights to get nothing more than the output we wanted.

It's amazing when you realise everything is better when it's simple.

How to clean the new Macbook Pro ->
- Clean outside
- Open MacBook
- Mac boots up, fuck
- Shut mac down
- Clean the keyboard
- Accidently boot it up using Touch ID while cleaning inner aluminum, fuck
- Shut mac down again, because haven't done touchpad and screen yet
- Clean remaining parts
- Boot mac up

Efficient! :D

Use Cache wisely, otherwise they gonna pile up and no one would like to clean that shitty mess

Pic source: Instagram

There is clean code. There's spaghetti code. And I just discovered there's spaghetti after being thrown up code.

How to take off with a jet:

1. Have a 2013 MBP
2. Don't clean the coolers and exhausts for 5 years
3. Transpile an app and start a gradle build
4. Enjoy your machine taking off at around 100°C

FFS Apple, 100°C is not OK. Neither is having the fucking fans so loud I can hear them over my headphones. I should probably clean the laptop... Not sure I can open it up though. Company-issued machine.

CEO: What are your plans for these hollidays?

Me: Clean up the house. I haven't had much time because we've had some busy last few months.

CEO: Seriously? Are you joking? (I could see in his eyes, "why would a talented programmer ever waste their time doing menial housework...") I mean, you could be working instead and earning a couple more bucks...

(Fuck him, none of his business...)
Me: I can't delay it this time. My wife has dust allergies.

CEO: Oh. Ok. I get it. When I was a kid, my father and I had some serious dust allergies. The house maid had to clean everything thoroughly at least once a week.

Not surprised...

I love it when rather than fix the bug that is causing the faulty data you write a bot on a schedule to clean up the faulty data. It's like a bot battle who can mess up / clean up the data the fastest. Unless your clean up bot has a bug then you are just F'ed.

Just changed jobs and learned that this client, a big international company, spent a whooping 2.000.000,- USD on a WordPress that does not work.
My job: clean up the mess they made.
Annual budget: 200.000,- USD
FML.

Decided to clean up my pictures folder, found this picture from October last year. It's taken the same day i reinstalled windows.

New toy. However, I am at a dilemma. Do I keep its aesthetic nice and clean, or do I make it awesome with stickers. Also. Do I take off the intel and nvidia stickers to clean it up further. Decisions decisions.

Wtf Microsoft ?!?
Clean install of windows 10 pro, got everything set up, now Microsoft Store does not work because I need an app to open ms-windows-store ?!?
Common answers found on Google does not solve the problem -_-

I rewrote something in clean 20 lines of code, while my coworker had worked hard and ended up with like 80-100 lines. I did not talk to him before I did it, but asked him to review what I did. I still had to learn how to properly work together..

Re-installing windows just to clean things up.
Wish me a speedy recovery guys!

Wake Up. Cook. Eat. Work. Clean. Meetings. Work. Eat. Work. Netflix & Chill. Sleep. Repeat. 😎😝

How does your Work from Home look like?🧐

Last time client got hacked...we just could not get rid of the malware...it replicated itself short after deletion.

Ended up creating the same files with zero content and setting them read only.

Not clean, but enough to sleep.

have you ever felt having bad code ocd that you feel like you really need to clean this old project that you got assigned to fix, but cleaning the whole project up would take too much time and it is just not worth it . But you feel like you really need to do it...

Started to clean up my projects and delete all my deprecated things and starting to shift focus to one - three projects at max...

Buying my first car (2005 VW golf 2L diesel)

Got a new job interview that they seem eager to meet me about...

Getting money under my belt and closer to buying a house....

Everythings coming up Alex :-D

(Knock on wood)

Procrastination is weird... Their were a piece of code I wasn't looking forward to work on, so I started cleaning my apartment instead, putting some order in my files, and even tidy up my desk, which I didn't do for months 😐
And it finally took me 10min to actually write the code 😆
It's annoying, but I can't be the only one 🤔
At least I can enjoy a clean setup... Until it become a mess again...

Silly and stupid me.

Woke up.
Check phone. Check devRant.
Saw Trogus's filter update post.
Happy and left a comment.
Went to playstore and update.
Open devRant and use the feature.
Tried to filter only Rants and Questions type.
Happy and went back to sleep again bcz Saturday.
Continue the rest of day with other stuffs.
Use devRant again.
"Huh why the heck is the first post about some random quote?"
"Why the hell is second post meme"
"Why...why...why"
Check filter feature again.
Facepalm.

Silly me and stupid my eyes and useless my brain is not worthy for good and clean UIUX.

Running a wild UPDATE statement against an inventory database, it was chaotic and didn't have backups.... yea I know 😅 the backup service died god knows when and no one noticed. I was only new at the time so #notMyFault

UPDATE stock_on_hand = 0; WHERE id IN(1,2,3,4,5,88,972,7388);
# rows affected 1,234,567,890

> I think I almost died inside.

Oh the fun that mess was to clean up.
The positive outcome of this was, we had backups working again not long after and the inventory counts where accurate after that stock take.

Inappropriate experience at work? Here is another one:

The IS department manager 'John' loved shelled peanuts, but hated cleaning them up. By the end of the day his desk and surrounding area were covered in peanut shells (he never bothered trying to put the shells in the trash can). He didn't seem to care because the maintenance crew would clean up the office every night and he would come in to a clean area every day.

That was until the company owner's wife was making the rounds one day and saw his mess. The shells hit the fan. The 'beat down' occurred at EOD, so most didn't witness it, but she lit him up. Almost screaming that he's a grown man and the maintenance crew have enough to do without cleaning up after him...etc..etc.
John never ate peanuts at his desk again.

Bind learning c++ chapter 3

Fuck whoever says that java is easier than c++. If i populate memory i can just fucking clean it out. I have access to the literal fucking stack my code runs on. I can integrate assembly. I can fucking make my program run in -3 seconds for fucks sake, this is so much easier than java where i have to fuck around with scopes to nudge the gc to start cleaning up and i need a separate engine to access jasm code.

I don't want a personal assitant who helps me to google. I don't need a program that writes text for me. I don't need an AI wich invents cooking recipes. Or discovers new music for me. Or plays my virtual girlfriend. All of this is shit. It's giving away the parts of life which are actually fun.

I need a robot that cleans up my fucking flat, clean the fucking dishes, and buys fucking grocerys while being cheaper and socially and environmentally better that paying some humans.

Somewhat messy, too lazy to clean it all up ^^'

And I really need a Dual-Monitor setup again .-.

Dear Apple: FIX YOUR FUCKED UP IDE!

Generating IPA file takes ages, freezes the shit out of the mac and to make it even worse a full clean -> build -> Generate Signed APK on slow ass gradle takes barely 5 minutes while XCode takes ages

HTTPS requests in most languages:

Import a couple of libraries, you may need to install a few as well. It's possible that you will need to initialize and set up the socket. Be sure to specify SSL settings. Create the connection, provide it a URL, and attempt the connection. Read the response, usually in chunks. You may need to manually create a buffer of fixed size, depending on if the language has buffer helper classes or not. You will probably need to convert the input stream response to a string to do anything with it. Close the connection and clean up any buffers used.

HTTPS requests in Python:

import urllib
urllib.YEET()

Server Admins:

Don't fucking make changes to the server configuration and assume that it's going to be functional.

Stop fucking breaking shit on client servers then leaving it for the rest of us to clean up.

Verify your goddamn work before you tell them that their issue is resolved.

When you make a mistake and try to fix it, but you can't remember how to spell amend...

git commit --ammend
error: unknown command `amend'

git commit -ammend
[branch-name] mend

Huh?

git log
commit #
mend

Created a new commit with message 'mend'. Now to clean this all up and go get some sleep!

I recently started using Linux on my desktop.

I just love how when I see some minor thing I don't like about the operating system I can just change it myself!

Want to remove the menu icon? Simple change to the settings. Want your downloads folder to be clean? Simple cron job which asks you if you want to clean your downloads folder every day.

Man I love having the freedom to screw up my operating system!

Does anyone get the feeling that as they become more senior, they care less about meeting "best practices" and more of just "good enough"?

Best practices being everything in those books about TDD, unit testing, design patterns, design artifacts.

Good enough: enough so it won't blow up in prod, some tests but not 80-90%, some docs. Basically not like those public docs, open source projects/frameworks where function is covered

When I first started professionally, I was all about efficiency, good design, reducing technical debt, clean code.

But now, I look at problems and instinctively I may make these decisions but I don't really think about it much. First goal is to just get something working, clean it up later... Maybe.

Update on my previous rant -

Mac restart after upgrade got stuck due to a fucking corrupted kext file, had to switch between recovery and safe/verbose mode to isolate that bastard, move him out of the folder and then do a clean restart.. Then, after 7 hours, it said 15 minutes remaining to complete installation...

Finally, it came up fine, doing healthy :)

Dear Mac, You, Sir, gave me a scare during a restart and are becoming like Windows (note: bsod) :(

Mail provider: "You are over your storage quota"
Me: "K, guess I'll clean up the junk I have on there then?"
Mail provider: "We also block IMAP connections for accounts over the storage quota"

>.>

So in C++ there is no garbage collector to clean up the mess u leave behind?

And now i feel like a garbage collector.... always cleaning up after monkeys... :(

When you want only 10 rows of query result.
Mysql: Select top 10 * from foo.... 😁
Sql server: select top 10 * from foo.. 😁
PostgreSQL: select * from foo limit 10.. 😁

Oracle: select * from foo FETCH NEXT/FIRST 10 ROWS ONLY. 🌚

Oracle, are you trying to be more expressive/verbose because if that's the case then your understanding of verbosity is fucked up just like your understanding of clean-coding, user experience, open source, productivity...
Etc.

totally !dev

I just saw my team mate clean his glasses with that micro fiber cloth that they give along with the specs. He just like, opened his bag, picked up his specs box, took that itsy bitsy piece of clothing and wiped his glasses!!!!!

My heart stopped for a bit :-/

Who the hell does that. Sheeesh.

Got to scratch of one of three remaining old (14years and counting) design mistakes this week.

Together with a colleague we replaced a 1.5 billion row table that I out of ignorance then designed with a 3 column composite primary key instead of an identity column.

Moving the data while keeping all synchronized (the table gets up towards 2 million new rows and 2 million updates a day while constantly being queried) took 1 week.

Just 2 skeletons left to clean out, any year now ;).

After you brainstorm on a white board, take a photo, and clean up after yourself.

Coworkers were complaining about dried white board marker.
I told them to use the hand sanitizer from the bathroom, it will clean off all marks.

Now you know too.

> Be me
> Wake up
> Have no motivation
> Lay still for a long time
> Go pee
> Go get food
> Up so might as well get ready for school/college
> Go to college
> Chill with the usual peeps
> Maybe get food
> Have a little more motivation because of food and peeps
> Go home
> Do hw if any
> CS:GO with usual peeps
> Clean myself
> aurman -Syu --noconfirm && shutdown now
> Go sleep

Fucking hate Qt.

Spent all morning trying to figure out how their bullshit QThreadPool works with their bullshit QRunnable but after a bunch of bullshit asynchronous testing I figured that my thread object was being collected and deleted before I was done with it, for no reason. Now if the race condition was documented... This wouldn't be an issue. But every google search brought up nada. Eventually I resorted to turning off autoDelete on the runnable, but then I just have a memory leak, obviously.

I couldn't find a way to manually clean up a QRunnable in Python. What the fuck.

I just went back to good old fashioned QThreads... This is why I quit Qt in the first place.

Nothing is more relaxing then finding some really bad code and clean it up in your free time with music in background. Love this kind of Friday's.

Just a little poll for you guys :)

Do you comment your code during the development or when it's done?

Do you keep track of the documentation during the development or after?

Do you use Git only for source control or also to work from multiple places and keep the code up to date?

Do you sh*tcode on purpose (or don't make any effort to clean it) when it's not for yourself, or not for something you value much?

If you have any other strange habit, feel free to mention it :)

Oh my fucking God, the non dev we have on our team has no indentation or syntax filter whatsoever. I wouldn't be surprised if she has an unmatched or unclosed bracket somewhere. I'm gonna have to go in there and clean that shit up.

Don't reuse your fixtures!

Each test case should be isolated. Don't ever think just because some function requires a similar input, it's safe to reuse it ALL OVER THE PLACE.

Why? Because someday, you want to change one functionality of one unit.

And you adapt your tests, fix your code, and suddenly, by changing one fixture, you break dozens if not hundreds of unrelated tests and now you have to clean up that mess.

It's even worse for functional tests with all those interwoven parts so that it becomes hard to reason about the scope of your tests when lacking proper documentation.

How I know? BECAUSE I AM CLEANING UP YOUR MESS RIGHT NOW!

After roasting a pig with a nice honey tun at camping, I went to take a shower...

As shower was pretty relaxing (warm water), I dazed off a bit.

Suddenly the curtain opened, and a friend of mine who wanted to clean the grill stood in front of me...

Wearing two pink gloves, going straight up to the elbow, a bottle of grease remover in the other hand....

Awkward... Is an understatement....

After being mortified we both laughed like lunatics...

Internet access at the new Uni is crap. I'm getting so pissed at this shit...
Packet loss spikes to over 50% every 30s or so. Can't keep a single SSH pipe open for longer than a minute. Firewall is so tight infrared light wouldn't get through that shit (understandable. And I use a VPN anyway).
And every. Single. AP. Uses. The. Same. Channel. All of them on 6. At least it's on a tight band... But 1 and 11 are free. 100% clean. You know, you could spread them a bit. That helps. But naaah let's keep everything bundled up. Co-channel interference is OK, right?

If I ever get the chance to start my own company or pick out the dev team I work with... I will never, ever, ever work with anyone who doesn't understand how to abstract out a problem. Our prod DB is a mess and our API is a mess because we left it to some dudes who are dumb as shit and doing everything ad-hoc. Now their ad-hoc shit doesn't work anymore and I get to clean it up. 😫😞FML

I just don't understand. why is it so fast to destroy the arrangement. and took it so long to clean it up

This fucking guy create a mess of a code, more than a spaghetti code, a clusterfuck of shit untested spaghetti code, and the project is actually getting well, our customer is getting bigger but everytime there is something to be added, its a fucking pain to add, and when something breaks, almost every thin breaks, and the shitty guy who wrote this code is quitting and its fucking up to me to clean up all the fucking mess, fucking asshole.

DOCUMENT AND TEST YOUR CODE KID, DONT BE A FUCKING SPAGHETTI PROGRAMMER

(PSA: serious replies to this kind of wk tag might be best suited under Random)

"The way you've done this seems much less complicated that what I would've come up with."

"You've been reading Clean Code?"

"I didn't think that was possible, nice."

And finally, the most extreme one:

"Can you print this code for me so I can hang it on my wall of good code?"

I'm going to be that guy .... A lot of these rants are about code compiling first time .. Throwing away code you wrote because you didn't need it... Getting in the zone and writing a billion lines before you compile .... Am I the only freaking person here that does TDD ? My rant is wake up people ! People evangelize about it because it fucking works !

Other Team: "our builds don't clean up properly"

*docker rm -f $(docker ps -a)*

Other Team: "our builds keep filling up machines"

*docker rmi $(docker images -q)*

Random Team Member: "My builds keep failing on service foo randomly exiting"

Other Random Team Member: "Why is there no caching on our builds"

...

team panics thinking it's their fault as our main job still passes, as it's on another machine.

...

When we find out after tracking build history

KMS

"Let me just quickly clean up the old stashes since everything is merged and I won't need them... "

Guess what, I needed that stash, and I had it saved 20 minutes ago.

My new routine after getting Elden RIng has been:

1. Get home and work out.
2. Drink protein shake
3. Take a shower, clean up and play with me pp
4. Get out and play elden ring until my wife unglues me from the controller.

And i fucking love it. Beast game in my opinion. FS really hit a home run with this mfker.

There's one thing I hate about the new year. Everyone assumes it's the best time to do some cleanup, some maintenance. As the year starts fresh - everyone should start fresh, right?

NOT!

No, Hetzner, you don't need to restart my servers on Dec 26th.
No, local VPS providers, you don't need to clean-up all my /tmp/ files for me on Dec 29th, leaving me in the dark and unaware I have to restart my apps.

That's just a dick move. Your intentions might be alright, but the consequences... Damn you!

"the footer of the site is broken"

seriously, f..k wysiwyg-editors!
all they do is creating invalid bloated html and I'm supposed to clean up the mess behind the content managers...

So I'm about to finish The Design of Everyday things by Don Norman and I have Clean Code coming up next.

But what are some good programming books that are tech agnostic?

I like these rants beginning with "fuck!!!"

It makes me feel unbelievable good!
It literrallycleans up my brain!!!!!!
Fuck!

So true ...

"Many developers on a schedule aren't making efforts to write clean and efficient code, relying on idiot-proof languages (and consequently more RAM and faster processors) to make up for their malaise."

Didn't bother to clean up, my small, unimpressive desk where I spend a lot of time

So I did a clean Windows 10 restore recently on my laptop from Insider program to just Anniversary Update . Went away from my computer for a day or so by the time I got updates completed and Visual Studio up and running. So earlier today I went to start back up development on a project of mine to come across the emulators not working. The thing is that I lost 6 hrs of production to figure this out. I tried everything possible so I gave up and reinstalled VS to just remember I forgot to turn on my Hyper-V in BIOS setting. So I'm half way in VS reinstalling and I can't do anything about it. GOD FUCKEN DAMMIT W10!

Went over to GeekSquad because I royally screwed up my computer. (Really, I wanted a second opinion)

Once I got there, I spoke to the guy about my problem, how I made the problem occur, and then proceeded to show him how my computer would BSOD just as it was about to turn on.

I then asked him if it's possible to work from the backend and reverse what I did to get it up and working again.

His eyes, wide in confusion, and fear, then replied,

No we would have to do a clean install of Windows 7 in order to even get past the BSOD.

Ok.jpg

I promptly thanked him for trying and then left with the affirmation that all IT ever does is clean install and then charge you up the ass for the OS and backed up data.

All set up.
I found the shelf under the "ghetto" blaster outside today. Cleaned it up and it was good to go.
Put my dad's old music box on top of it. It's a bit dusty. Also need to clean that up. But for now I think it looks cool from under my desk haha

I lost 2TB of family photos and videos a few years ago by dropping a single hard drive. Nearly all of it was later found on people's computers who forgot to clean them up when we got the NAS. I'm not so eager to delete data once it's backed up ever since.

I know people have mixed feelings about Uncle Bob and I really never followed the guy at all, but back in college I found his book Clean Code on a shelf and read it cover to cover. A lot of it really stuck with me. In fact, I might dig it up again now that I'm thinking about it.

5000 scss file with the name global.scss styling.

How fucking dumb can you be to fucking mess up a clean component based architecture like Foundation or Bootstrap and fill it with shit in a single file.

No wonder WP gets shit. The legacy code is usually shit.

And to put the shit cherry on top. This motherfucker had a settings.scss file with all general components and he never used it.

Fucker put different font size in px everywhere! Fucking asshole!!!

Day 2 of devWholesome...

Have another great day! Have fun and do something productive! It is always a great feeling when you finish something that requires a lot of time and effort. Finish that project that you started but never finished, clean your room, or maybe just catch up on school work! Make sure you are also taking care of yourself with your hygiene and to eat all your meals and drink plenty of water. If you are feeling stressed today, take a break and relax! And again, make the most out of your day!

How seriously do you take TDD, CI/CD, automated testing, clean commits, good architecture, Agile, low coupling/high cohesion, etc ... ?

How much time do you invest in those things if you have a deadline up ahead?

Have you seen these things being valued or disregarded at the previous companies you worked for?

I'm looking at someone's shit code... and I have to remind myself... we all have the ability to be fucking stupid, especially when we're trying to do something in order to do something else so that we can do something else.

note to self: "always remember, they did the best they could with the resources they had at the time".

But that doesn't change the fact that I need to clean up the crap they left behind.

I love a number of the little slack "all clean" icons when you catch up on threads. They're adorable. My personal favorite is the floptopus.

Anyone else have fave examples of adorable, ideally platform mascot-related pieces of task-accomplishment-reward-bait (octocat, go gopher, etc etc?

It's a rant bc fuck anyone who's too cool for cute shit :p

---Me coding away---

ESLint: Hey...

ESLint: Hey... don't-

ESLint: No I think-

Me: Not now bro! This is fine, I need to get this done.

---Months later I go back to clean some things up and I look to see what ESLint has to say----

ESLint:

I don't use templates, I write my own websites... from scratch! -Drops mic and runs to go clean up CSS and Javascript errors for all eternity-.

Worst prod scenario experienced - on site in small African country working on CRM/billing system my colleague was testing some new SQL and after finishing decided to drop and recreate the DB. She thinks the process is very slow and suddenly realizes she is dropping the prod DB. In a panic she shuts down the system and starts doing a restore from tape, but is so stressed out she writes "tar cv" instead of "tar xv" and overwrites the backup with the broken DB. Took a while to clean that one up...

When your mostly done code that you spent time on documenting and keeping clean gets handed over to the sloppiest dev on the team. Because that dev is out of tasks and you got other work that moved up in priority. I really hope he doesn't ruin everything :(

I'm doomed.

My first production worker script is making multiple active attribute of a user. My script should be able to deactive the old attributes if there is new one.

Months ago, this issue occured. My teammate from team A take over the script to investigate since I am busy working with team B.

Yesterday, I found out that I, myself, overwrite the fix my teammate made for that because of a new feature.

I have to clean up the affected records on production on Monday..and i have to explain to my manager. T.T

LPT: ALWAYS PULL REPO before developing new feature...

Stakeholder: Can you investigate the problem with this user profile? We made updates to system A, but user is saying it’s the wrong info on the website.

Me: Looks fine to me. Looks like your updates just needed time to trickle down. Though, you will need to clean up this user’s data because it can cause X problems. There’s not much I can do since the site just displays info from system A.

SH: Can you delete the user’s website account and we can ask user to create a new one?

Me: …Ok, let’s try this again. It’s not necessary to delete the account and make the user create a new one. It’s not going to resolve the X problems that I mentioned. The website really needs clean data from system A.

I hope I did not make the wrong decision here:
Been working on a side project using React Js for a year now. After getting to know more about Vue, I just started rewriting it and moving it to Vue, to speed things up I'm using core JS classes for network stuff and validations ...etc just rewriting Redux to Vuex and React Components to Vue Templates

If I made the wrong decision I'd appreciate if anyone tell me about it before I go deeper in the rewrite process lol

It is not that I found speed difference both perform the same from what I've seen for my scenarios. But the output code of Vue is soooo much cleaner than what I found in React, either I failed to write a clean react code no matter how hard I try to optimize it, or Vue really takes the short way and keeps things clean.

Today, my macbook pro 2020 get spilled with my ice coke, i am just looking at the laptop, take some tissue to clean it, and waiting for my mac is getting up again. Feel so sad and very fcking stupid 😭

- name: "Clean up {{ project_dir }}
file:
state: absent
path: "{[ project_dir }}"

Took me 2 hours to figure out why this wasn't deleting files

I needed to log in on a website in someone else's pc and didn't know the password by heart. I thought I'd log into chrome, if I log out later, what could go wrong right?

Apparently, a lot. It facking merged my bookmarks, history and passwords with hers! And she had shitloads of them! It took me facking hours to clean up the mess chrome created. I trust her, but I still didn't want her to have my passwords etc.

Omg I'm never logging into chrome again elsewhere, what a frustrating facking waste of time

I'd say Uncle Bob, since I ended up flying through his Clean Code book in order to get a placement job, but in reality, it's probably only partially that.
Most of my influence probably comes from the guy I shadowed under when I was on placement. He taught me way more than he probably ever realises.

Client: I need you to clean up the database and remove all rows [with children] with a timestamp older than 5 years

Team: OK

Team [internally]: we definitely need a dba for this
Me: dba? Why? A junior dev can do that
Team: yyeeaahh, but still.. A DBA would do it better. You know, foreign keys and everything

Me: ....

I recently started on a project, in WP though, but I strongly believe the dev is an imbecile. He's no longer with us (thank god)

Doesn't remove old code, just comments it out, or leave the file there. He loved to use and rewrite plugins, so you can't update them.

I removed this one particular plugin, which seemed to hold the website together, because when I removed it, all the suppressed errors suddenly popped up.
I've used 3 days to clean up the code

Did I say that there's a .scss file for the site, but it's written as normal css and the output .css file has also been changed, so I can't clean the scss file and compile it, because that fucks up the css file =}

TEST, TEST AND TEST ASSHOLE

OUR PROJECT IS GETTING BIGGER AND START TEST YOUR FUCKING CODE SO I DONT HAVE TO CLEAN UP THE WHOLE FUCKING MESS

FUCKERS

Someone's guts will be torn out tomorrow and put up on a nice clean razor barbed wire ...

I was wondering what the fucking fuck messed up my brain - till I realized that some dev mixed up the timezone on one of our servers. Dunno how the dev managed it - but the end result was not funny.

Due to the difference in time strings the newer backup had an older timestamp - and vice versa.

Which - when you want to do mass clean up and migration - is a very fucked up thing.

I had to manually check dozens of backups to make sure I got the right ones...

-.- knife goes in, gut goes out. Thx Bart Simpson.

Last Friday night instead of partying, or seeing a movie I stayed home to clean up some code for a potential job interview. Good times! :D

Design patterns are to programming what cum swapping is to porn: The further it is carried, the nastier it gets, and at the end an innocent victim has to clean up the whole mess.

Had to clean out a colleagues desk today, they were asked never to show up to the office again as of immediate effect. No clue what went down. And was all out of nowhere.

Everyday strugle.
Go to work, go home all motivated like: oh once I'm home I can do this and that to finish my work, and it's fun and interesting. Or I vould study, or clean up, I'm totally gonna do something usefull!
*once home*
Ohhhh look league of legends! Or bed! I'm too exhausted to do anything usefull. Better chill.
...
Anyone else?
Anyone got advice for how to combat this? T_T

Automatically clean up code, removing redundant and duplicate bits, splitting large functions, and formatting it nicely. Especially useful when trying to understand some garbage code someone else wrote which you need to rewrite.

Uninstalling Visual Studio is a mess. It'll leave behind hundreds of silly component, which is funny because the main reason I started the process was to clean up a possibly corrupt installation. It also left behind a Docker tool component, which I can't uninstall cause that installer needs VS itself :D

My grandparent once wanted me to fix their tablet which they said had a virus. I couldn't find anything so I went to the web browser. A tab was up which said "Your Android has 5 viruses please download our antivirus to clean your phone"

It had the fake gif flashing alerts and whatnot so I simply closed out of the tab and deleted all of the recent "antiviruses" which had been downloaded

To this day they think I'm a technical genius for the easiest "fix" I've ever done.

Oh and merry Christmas everybody! I'm new here but it seems like a great community of people :)

Time for some bad puns I made up with my coworker when we were stuck in traffic. Got any dev puns of your own? Share them here!

Why is it called Python if it isn't a snake?
Why is it called Ruby if I can't put it on my jewellery?
Why is it called Rust if it's so clean?
Why is it called Go if it stays in the same place?
Why is it called Perl if it's so ugly?
Why is it called C# if I can't write music with it?
Why can't I drink Java?

Swear work is where you I go to fix other peoples poor design decisions and clean up the bullshit that comes out of said decisions.

CANT!
BE!
FUCKED!

How you have so many years experience and still design in way that ensures that maintenance /improvements/touching in the future is a huuugggeee clusterfuck.

Hey, I got an idea, lets make this whole data warehouse without a single index or primary key cos you know, that's the Kimball Method.

!dev
TIL: If you want to use SodaStream the you better RTFM... Fuck, there is water everywhere and I really don't have the time to clean up the mess because there is so much work to be done today...

How do you clean up branches while working with PR ?!

It’s a nightmare. For each “bug” or feture there is a pull request created. As far as I know you MUST create a branch.

It’s easy to clean up GitHub (I’m just deleting branch after accepting PR. Which actually doesn’t even delete it for X days or something).

But local branches. OMG. It takes me at least 10 min/week to clean up and some of our devs don’t bother. They literally have 50+ local branches.

How do you manage that ?

I’m just about to write a script which deletes every local branch except selected (Yep UI with list of branches). But seems like overkill.

Not really a fight but another Dev was telling me how I should implement things and to keep the code clean and clear/not spaghetti.

In the back of my mind I'm going yeah... I know what I'm doing... probably better than you.

I'm usually the guy telling other ppl to clean up their shit..or forced to dig thru it when their stuff blows up in production.

Anyway I'm going to add him to code review and maybe email the whole team... and then go, now this is how I want our code to look.

!rant

Today is the day, i'll finish up all the contract work that sits on my desk, cash in the money and finish up the free website i made for a befriended gamedev.

I've been sooo angry about other humans over the week but escaping into development and helping the few friendly humans out there is making me calm again.

If anyone of you feels down, grab a tee, clean your desk, take a bath and just start coding silly things, or try to help a mate in need. :-)

So apparently not a bad idea to clean up your folders every once in a while. Just cleaned about 120GB, mostly by deleting things from my downloads folder

Heres a rant you dont see everyday, the lazy gits in my office who dont clean up after themselves. Go to the kitchen to make coffee only to be confronted by a mountain of dishes, the peak of which may have been level with High Hrothgar. Had to dry them and put them away before I could really even move. Like just wash something after you use it, then take the extra 20 seconds to dry it and put it away, dont just rinse it and then leave it sitting there. AAARRRGGGHHHH

Keyboard layouts/localization seem like something went horribly wrong and nobody decided to clean up the mess.

And now we have multiple layouts where the fucking alt key doesn't even work exactly the same between them, how is that even possible? And who thought it was a good idea to differentiate between left and right alt, shift and control keys, leading to subtle issues nobody asked for?

In Vim I made a keyboard shortcut with alt and on the British layout it only works with the left alt key, on the US layout on both. Wat.

Be a nice guy and volunteer for a weekend release that's supposed to be fast.

1. Release team person doesn't have permission to deploy our app

2. Dev that raised the change ticket didn't make sure it was fully approved and usable

-My whole morning go bye bye
-ah fuck it, clean up your own shit, I'm out...

Learn and don't do it again next time... Or not

If your project gets fucked up beyond repair, for example by your IDE (I'm looking at you, Android Studio) try this:

0. Backup any ignored but essential files in your project (e.g. secrets) outside of your project directory.
1. Close your IDE.
2. git clean -xdf
3. Restore any backed up local files.
4. Reopen the project as a new one in your IDE.

This is awesome, because it cleans up everything non git and not committed. So any local project files configured by your IDE will be nuked, which allows for a clean start. Also, all your locally committed work is preserved.

BTW, if you really need to start over (even with git), then just remove all the things an clone the remote repo again.

I just realized that in my company , the code review is not important.... And the source code is fucked up.... The structure is like functional programming and Oop combine with redundant function everywhere.

And in the source code there's a folder called depreciating service , I asked them what is that , they told me it is the service previously but not recommended for using it.

I was like "you mean deprecated"? Omg

They don't care about code review and clean code here.

My struggle here is they dare to create one class for the entire project and every code are in that class...
This is fucking not acceptable.

When do you clean up you digital photo library... and get rid of RAWs with final copies? or am I the only one that saves those on my phone?

Douchebag coworker. Asked me how my work trip went (big client demo) and asked if anything that I was "complaining and whining" about went poorly. Mind you I was bitching about having to clean up HIS SHIT because he completely dropped the ball on the project. I had to go in and finish or fix all of the things he didn't do or did super poorly. I literally just told him to fuck off and stopped talking to him.

!Dev

I soon will start working from home. meaning I won't have to waste 4 hours a day busing back and forth from the office.

I think with that free time I might start trying to organize my life, I have hundreds of 'read later' and 'useful' bookmarks across 3 computers, too many browsers, and countless bookmark folders. I also have notes in 7 channels on a private discord server.

I think with the free time I might actually clean up that massive mess and using my server I didn't have last time I worked from home, actually figure out a method that'll help keep it from getting this bad again.

!Rant

I will have you know that being part of the mobile solutions team is pretty sweet when you have nothing to do but keep a few databases clean and up to date, test which iPad is best suited for the sales people and buy 20 cases to test them for sturdiness.
Seriously without dumb idiots arguing about roaming costs and demanding help with the most basic shit this would be heaven.
I mean it's apple but still having every color of the 9.7 iPad and of the 12,9 pro stacked up on your desk is pretty cool.

Oh wow, fuck Ansible

Turns out there is no way to automatically undo the things it did, because surely nobody would ever want to remove software...

Now I have a half fucked server that I can manually clean up again 👍

How is it called when I rant about something my colleagues experienced and I just supported his debug session? Third party rant? Anyway, here's the thing.

Other team built some project specific code right in the heart of their software, which in itself would be worth a rant. But as you might guess, it's getting rantier.

For a new project the same code is used, but needed some tweaks. Now guess what happened:
1) Someone took the code, refactored it, made project specific stuff configurable, everything works fine now
2) Someone changed the code completely for the new project, everything seems to work fine for 5 months, then the old project needed a new release 💣

Hello world (my first "rant"). What do you think about laptop stickers? My Macbook is still clean after three years. Now thinking about filling it up. Why, why not?

I have no motivation to clean my room at all. I've like briefly touched things up a couple times in the past months, but it's just...bad. I fucking hate having to step over shit to get to and from my bed every time I get up, but I just...can't do it.

When I was in 6th grade, and we were learning HTML, and I realised the power my fingers suddenly held as Chrome (ugh) loaded up my frst webpage with some basic styling. At that moment, I understood the extensibility, the dyanmicity (My English teacher would kill me), the pure awsomeness I could do with a text file. In three years (now), I finally made a calendar that works which has comments, is split into dedicated files, works, is clean and written in D, and works.

Just joined a new company this week. They have react, redux, and all sorts of libraries checked into their repo. Code looks like someone puked all over it. Should I quit? Or stay and clean it up?

Hot take:

Want to bloat the shit out of your product and want to lose the core USP?

Want to stop solving the problem you set out to address?

HIRE A PRODUCT MANAGER.

PMs are expert at shit show. We fuck up everything.

God I hate my profession.

When I start my company, the mandatory rule for every PM will be that if you want to add or enhance a feature, they will have to remove a feature. Whoever fails to do so will be punished by having to clean up the code base and work in sales for a quarter.

Another team didn't bother testing their code correctly, they passed us invalid values that another microservice needs, as a result they have a bunch of unstored data (that they would have seen wasn't being stored if they bothered checking the last stage of the process to see if it was stored). Now it's been so long that the data is expired. They want us to manually store millions of transactions for them.

Now tell me...if I came and shit in your bed, shouldn't I have to clean it up?

That moment when your colleagues' "clean code" ends up confusing you terribly.

Found a solution that can clean up any array

Why the FUCK does this bloated Ubuntu rotten swamp corps of a former beautiful Debian always, really ALWAYS, FUCK UP distro upgrades!! Which retarded spoon shagger at Canonical came to the conclusion it were a good idea to release every 6 month, regardless of the inability to actually update this crap?!? My other systems run Arch since their first install back in 2009, still clean and up-to-date systems!!!!