!Rant

Support Call:
”our PC stick isn't booting up! Come and fix it! (angry)”

Me:
”The PC are meant to boot up whenever power is delivered to them. Are you sure your TVs are powered on?”

Support Call:
”Yes! I just pressed the power button on both TVs and it didn't turn on the PC sticks.”

Me:
”So you can confirm the TVs are on? Can you change the input and see what happens?”

Support Phone:
”Stop wasting my time and send someone down to fix it now! I told you it isn't working!”

Me:
”Ok, we will get someone out to you as soon as possible.”

Then a support guy drives 2 hours to their store.

When he gets there he realizes that the TVs power is connected to a light switch and they has the switch off!!!

He said ”can we turn on some lights so I can see behind the TV?” and then all the fucking TVs came on.

These are times when I fully understand the concept of “firing a customer”.

The customer sent an email saying ”the downtime for your product was unacceptable.” even after it was explained to them that the problem was them turning off the power.

These fucking idiots actually expect us to deliver products to display on TVs without fucking electricity to run them.

> Customer calls
Her: I have over 5k 404 request to [insertwebsite]/autodiscover/autodiscover.xml
Me: Sound like a missconfigured exchangeserver/client. Let me have a look.
> Takes a look and can confirm the IP and the owner of that IP
Me: It looks like someone/something from xxx.xxx.xxx.xxx is failing to resolve autodiscover.[insertdomain].com
and defaults to @ record on the zone. Do you happend to know to whom that IP belongs?
Her: No, and I dont care, just block it. I do not like the 404 that shows up on the summary.
Me: Alright
> Blocks the IP in the firewall.

>>> Fast forward to next day >>>

> Someone calls, it is the same girl
Her: I cant reach my website! Infact, I cant reach anything! WHYYYYYY!!!
> I remember, blocking that IP yesterday...
Me: Oh, can you please visist "minip.se" (whatismyip.com, swedish version) and tell me what you see?
Her: Yes, it is xxx.xxx.xxx.xxx
Me: Do you remember that IP that you request that I block yesterday?
> I can hear the shame coming from the phone.
> Turn out that her collegues did'nt have any mail delivered to them from the time I blocked their IP
> Her boss is really mad
> Atleast she had a cute voice

Client: Can you provide some kind of guaranteed timeline that you're going to be able to move our website to our new servers with the optimizations implemented? I know you said it should take a week, but we have 3 weeks to get this moved over and we cannot afford to be double billed. I'm waiting to fire up the new server until you can confirm.

Me: As I said, it SHOULD take about a week, but that's factoring in ONLY the modifications being made for optimization and a QA call to review the website. This does not account for your hosting provider needing to spin up a new server.

We also never offered to move your website over to said new server. I sent detailed instructions for your provider to move a copy of the entire website over and have it configured and ready to point your domain over to, in order to save time and money since your provider won't give us the access necessary to perform a server-to-server transfer. If you are implying that I need to move the website over myself, you will be billed for that migration, however long it takes.

Client: So you're telling me that we paid $950 for 10 hours of work and that DOESN'T include making the changes live?

Me: Why would you think that the 10 hours that we're logged for the process of optimizing your website include additional time that has not been measured? When you build out a custom product for a customer, do you eat the shipping charges to deliver it? That is a rhetorical question of course, because I know you charge for shipping as well. My point is that we charge for delivery just as you do, because it requires our time and manpower.

All of this could have been avoided, but you are the one that enforced the strict requirement that we cannot take the website down for even 1 hour during off-peak times to incorporate the changes we made on our testbed, so we're having to go through this circus in order to deliver the work we performed.

I'm not going to give you a guarantee of any kind because there are too many factors that are not within our control, and we're not going to trap ourselves so you have a scapegoat to throw under the bus if your boss looks to you for accountability. I will reiterate that we estimate it would take about a week to implement, test and run through a full QA together, as we have other clients within our queue and our time must be appropriately blocked out each day. However, the longer you take to pull the trigger on this new server, the longer it will take on my end to get the work scheduled within the queue.

Client: If we get double billed, we're taking that out of what we have remaining to pay you.

Me: On the subject of paying us, you signed a contract acknowledging that you would pay us the remaining 50% after you approved the changes, which you did last week, in order for us to deliver the project. Thank you for the reminder that your remaining balance has not yet been paid. I'll have our CFO resend the invoice for you to remit payment before we proceed any further.

---

I love it when clients give me shit. I just give it right back.

Can confirm

Can confirm that.

Funny story about the first time two of my servers got hacked. The fun part is how I noticed it.
So I purchased two new vps's for proxy server goals and thought like 'I can setup fail2ban tomorrow, I'll be fine.'

Next day I wanted to install NginX so I ran the command and it said that port 80 was already in use!

I was sitting there like no that's not possible I didn't install any server software yet. So I thought 'this can't be possible' but I ran 'pidof apache2' just to confirm. It actually returned a PID! It was a barebones Debian install so I was sure it was not installed yet by ME. Checked the auth logs and noticed that an IP address had done a huge brute force attack and managed to gain root access. Simply reinstalled debian and I put fail2ban on it RIGHT AWAY.

Checked about two seconds later if anyone tried to login again (iptables -L and keep in mind that fail2ban's default config needs six failed attempts within I think five minutes to ban an ip) and I already saw that around 8-10 addresses were banned.

Was pretty shaken up but damn I learned my lesson!

can anyone confirm if this works?

Product sending an email: Can I confirm feature A is all set for its release on April 30th?

Me: ... what? no that feature is going out with Feature B, that was pushed back to June because of the server issue.

Product: No, the release plan document says April 30th for this.

Me: ... theres 6 copies of this doc now. Someone is after deleting my comments saying "releasing with Feature B". Oh look heres a link to another doc that says this. See Feb14th "Will go out with Feature B". This is because they are touching the same code, we can't separate them now without re-writing it.

*Me to myself*: Ha product are going to hate this, their shitty processes have finally caught up with them.

*next day*

Other manager: So heres my plan for the app release x, y, z.

*Me to myself*: ... his plan? this is my app, I mange this. What the hell is this?

*reads email thread*

*Me to myself*: ... oh so product really didn't like my reply, took me off the thread, sent a response to all the other managers asking for alternatives, CC'ing upper management. The same upper management I had a private conversation with yesterday about how shit our product team are.

*cracks knuckles*

I'm going to enjoy writing this reply.

Product replying to Jira ticket: We think this issue has been resolved. Can you please reach out to the user and confirm?

Customer care: User xxx has responded to say she "has given up in frustration, and the app simply doesn't work". She has requested to have her account deactivated. This user has requested to not be contacted any further by the program.

Hows your day going devrant? mines going VERY well

Fuck my life...

Okay, so I’m working on a web app with a small group... the app is basically a lead generator for new business in another country. We just need contact details cause they’re a fucker to buy.

Step 1: prototype to the investors, working with the ceo to make this thing look shiny AF.

Goes well as fuck.

CEO: “when can we get this out?”

Me: “it’s basically done mate, get your guys to look at it and we can talk about marketing”

Que a shower of 10 or so bellends with senior in their title going into a room and coming out with:

Bellends: “so on this page we want the user to confirm and accept the contract”

Me: “cool, makes some sense, that’s what it’s already doing.”

Bellends: “afterwards we want to show them the price and have them put in their banking details.”

Me: “Wait, you what when?”

Bellends: “Yeah, well Jenny says we should have as few clicks as possible to get to the final stage and have the customer accept.”

Me: “Jenny’s on fucking crack, moving the contract formation phase to after the contract acceptance stage is not an option”

Bellends: “Oh it’s okay, Andy in legal said that would be okay”

Me: “Andy’s a fucking moron, tell him that online contract formation laws were updated 2014/2015 and you can’t do that anymore”

Bellends: “No, andy’s legal, surely he knows”

Bellends: “We want all of this above the fold”

Me: “OH FUCKING SUCK A DICK YOU ABSOLUTE BAND OF FUCKWADS... which one of you, which one hasn’t looked at a website this millennia!?”

Needless to say I ignored all their shit, got the lead generator out and told the CEO those ten people are certifiably fucking useless.

Bonus round; recent, but “it has to be on internal infrastructure”

“Why? It’s a mobile app sending rest calls to a third party saas.”

“It just has to, we have this thing called the private cloud and w”

“Wait... you what son, priv 🤦🏼‍♂️ private what mate?”

“Private cloud”

“You... you mean a server rack?”

“Nah we spent £2mn on it, it’s brilliant”

“Hahahaha you fucking dick, you blew £2mn on server infra with fuckall to put on it!?”

“No, no it’s the private cloud”

“Fucking idiot, aye son, where’s the fucking bean stalk you prick!?”

“It has to go on internal infr”

“Shut up, that won’t work”

It goes like this.
I have one final task to solve before starting in a new job at a different company. This guy, which is also a board member in the company in which I'm currently hired, is also an IT consultant and project manager in a fairly large company. This said person is also a key person for me being able to solve this last issue. I send him a complete guide on what he has to do before I can move on and wrap it all up.
First conflict arises because he doesn't follow the guide and tells me something is not working. I kindly inform him why and the response I get is very personal and not kind in any way, telling me and my boss that I am bad at my job and that he will bill us for 1000 USD for the 5 hours he used "debugging" and testing. This should have taken him 30 minutes and I have no idea what he spent those 5 hours doing.
It comes down to that my boss sides with this asshole and tells me that I have to do the task all over and test the system for the 4th time (yes I tested it 3 times beforehand to make sure nothing could go wrong) What my boss and the asshole doesn't know is that my uncle is vice president in the firm the asshole is working for. After kindly reminding this asshat that he has to follow the guide and that I can confirm everything is working, he keeps on attacking me. It's very rare that I fuck up and I have consulted 2 colleagues and got them to test it as well. They found no issues at all. The asshole ignored my request of documentation that something was not working.
I'm so full of being treated as an idiot so I send my uncle the email correspondence with the asshole to confirm that this is not how any of their employees should behave independant of my ability to do my job.
He will speak with this fucker tomorrow at work as first thing in the morning. I'm not proud of the way I went about this, but that was like the last drop, if you know what I mean.
Sorry for the long rant.

Me: Hello, IT Support? I can't use your system because as I log in I can't bypass a form saying I must confirm my email. But I haven't received any confirmation email. Can you resend it?

Support: We can't resend it, you have to do that yourself. What's your email?

Me: it's <blahblah>.gmail.com

Support: have you checked Junk?

Me: I sure have!

Support: Then please restart your computer and the email should come

Me: ....................
Me: have a nice day

What did we buy ?
Ryzen 9 and Radeon 6800 XT
What are we playing ?
Open TDD and factorio.

Yep, Can confirm, no lags.

Me: Right, its Monday, time for a fresh start. Things have been unbearable, but i've nowhere else to go just yet. I gotta just dig deep, ignore everything bad and just get it done, It's all about positivity right? Lets just ignore the little things and keep moving.

*My morning so far, 2 hours in*

Remote dev: (timezone 5 hours earlier than me) Hey so whats the plan for this quarter?

Me: ... I posted a big detailed plan in the group chat on Friday night so you wouldn't be delayed ... but anyway, lets just move on. I need you to work on A, B and C. A is just copying what Android has already done, for B one of the backend guys working next to you is doing this, he'll be able to help you. C is all documented in the ticket.

Remote dev: cool thanks.

Local dev: So I was just chatting with remote dev ... yeah he told me he has no idea what he's suppose to do.

Me: ..... Ok i'll book a video call with him in the morning. Can't do it right now.

==========

Remote dev: Hey i'm helping the BE team do some testing. I found a bug in Android. Homepage says theres no trips. But Offers screen says there is.

Me: Ok so just to confirm, The "available" offers screen has offers to accept, but the white notification on the homepage saying "You have X offers to accept" is not showing up?

Remote dev: Correct!

*debugging for 5 mins*

Remote dev: actually no, the "accepted" offers tab has offers, but the homepage says there are no upcoming offers to work on.

Me: ..... ok, thats very different ... but sure, let me have a look.

Me: Right so the BE are ... again ... sending down expired offers. Looks like the accepted tab isn't catching it and the homepage is.

Remote dev: Right i'll open a ticket for Android.

Me: ... and BE team.

Remote dev: why?

Me: ... because they once again have timezone issues. This keeps causing issues in random places. BE need to fix this everywhere.

Remote dev: right, i'll chat to them and see if they can fix it.

==========

Product: So this ticket xxxxx is clear right?

Me: eh, kind of, so you want us to add feature X to user type A?

Product: correct.

Me: right but I don't see anywhere talking about the time it will take to build the screen for feature X

Product: What do you mean the screen?

Me: ... well, feature X is only accessible on screen Y ... we would have to change screen Y to support user type A ... you know ... so they can ... use the feature

Product: .... hhhhmmm .... i suppose you are right. Well we can't just add screen Y, we'll have to add W and Z, it won't make sense without them.

Me: ... ok sure, but our estimates put us over for this quarter. I don't think we can just add in 3 screens.

Product: No this is a must have.

Me: Ok so we'll have to drop something else.

Product: hhhmmm, don't think we can ... let me get back to you.

==========

Backend team invited me to a meeting at 6am my time on Friday.

==========

... 2 hours into Monday ... there must be vodka around here somewhere

There are two records in this table.

I can confirm that the second one is currently being pulled.

One of the values I see getting pulled is different than either two of the records.

😶

User: The app is crashing! Fix this immediately. We can’t do our jobs without it!!

Dev: Patch applied, can you confirm it is now working on your end?

User: EXCUSE ME?! THAT IS NOT OUR RESPONSIBILITY! WE ARE WAY TOO BUSY, ASK SOME OTHER DEPARTMENT TO DO THAT OR DO IT YOURSELF!

Dev: …

Lecturer I am a TA for said AT LEAST twice that the summaries should be executive summaries. With introduction, supporting paragraphs, and a conclusion while explaining the assignment in class.

Notice the plural form of paragraphs. WHY THE HOLY HELL am I grading papers that are a paragraph, or don't progress fluidly. Or look like a 4th grader wrote them instead of a college student about to graduate????

It's not that hard.
And if i have to send one more email repeating the requirements one more time including "yes, i will deduct points for bad grammar" the class is getting DDoSed. Idgaf. This is university, people. You should know this. Can confirm i write executive summaries regularly. Bosses want updates.

can anyone confirm?

it can be the most interesting article in the world, but if you ask me to confirm cookies, to enable notifications and to disable my adblock or subscribe to your aWeSoMe newsletter at the same time I'm not interested in spending any more time on your site

oh and also, FUCK YOU, return your degree, resign and FUCK OFF

Can somebody confirm whether this thing actually compiles? CD

That awkward moment when you made some changes in your code and hope that it will fail so that you can confirm your theory/suspicion.

Otherwise you'll have no idea what's going on.

: /

"Can you confirm you got my email" emails...

So my colleuge is making a noise about his password not being accepted for a new account and calls me over to come assist.

After getting there and taking a look I could easily see the confirmation password was much longer than the inteded password and point this out to him.
He then proceeds to work through the source to the confirm password field and changes the data to text so I can read the confirmed password

Password: *******
Confirm PW: Yup that's it

Major facepalm for the prank😂

Colleague - @minij0ker

SOO.
I work at a grocery store, right. Cashier and all ya know, livin the dream. And whoever manages our product database. Needs to get thekr stuff together. We managed to confirm the DB isn't the same across the the registers. So now I have a bunch of stupid pictures of barcodes in my phone so I can make error reports for each and every single item that doesn't ring up. I know not ready dev related. But a dev somewhere is slacking

Discord and captchas can go get fucked in the ass by a rusty, tetanus ridden 2m pole....
I changed my discord-password yesterday and, naturally it prompted me for a login today. So I enter my new password and that motherfucking spawn from satans anus himself with the name of captcha threw itself at me... I seriously had to select fucking street signs for about 5min before Discord let me know that I apparently logged in from a new IP (thanks VPN) and therefore needed to confirm my e-Mail address. Alright, so off to my inbox I go.
SURPRISE, I also changed my password there yesterday (LastPass Security Challenge, I changed like 30 passwords yesterday) and guess what was waiting for me?... If you guessed a captcha, you just got full fucking marks. So I was busy selecting busses and streets for the next 3min again before I could finally log into that piece of trash and autorize my IP-address and log into Discord

Just watched Snowden

to check if Edward had completed his assignment that is supposed to take 5 hours but Ed does it in 40 min, top CIA director guy types:

cd backup
ls

Into computer terminal.

Pats Ed on back. Well done super hacker.

Apparently by opening a folder and looking at what files are in said folder you can confirm the success of a CIA exam.

So my parents got speakers integrated into their monitor. A few years ago (like 3-4) they made me turn off the sound because it annoyed them since all they did were playing some shitty flash games and some office work. Now they needed the sound back on and this is how it happened.

1. Confirm they plugged the right cable in. I know them so I knew that could be a problem

2. Made them download Teamviewer because I know they can't even doubleclick without guidance

Now the juicy part was to tell them they need to turn on sound on the monitor. As I was watching via teamviewer I saw them trying to click on the menu items from said monitor. Took me 5 minutes to explain that their mouse can't do shit on that because they need to navigate with the buttons underneath the monitor.

Turned out they couldnt get things right and I had no idea what they were seeing because they explanations went like "All I can see is Main Menu and Exit." - "Is that really all dad?" "Yes thats all. Main Menu, Brightness and Exit" turnes out the middle part is interchangable like "Brightness, Saturation, etc..."

After 2 hours I gave up and told them to pick up my speakers tomorrow

WTF freelancer, just won a design contest and it’s so fucking hard to withdraw the money to my bank account.

“There is some invalid bank details in your withdraw request, please confirm with your bank”

I never withdraw money before so i have to wait 15 days for my first withdrawal for each withdrawal methods.

The first method (express withdrawal with no fees) was failed because the bank details issue, talk with the cs and they told me to confirm to my bank, confirmed and tried again (only 1 or 2 days waiting time) but still failed, been trying this 3 times.

Trying the second method a.k.a wire transfer, i have confirmed the bank about what details are required to receive money from overseas first so i can prevent some stupid errors.

Wait another 15 days and ...

STILL FAILED WITH SAME PROBLEM

FUCK

This is the first time i regret when i won something.

ＦＵＵＵＵＵＵＵＵＵＵＵＵＵＵＵＵＵＵＵＵＵＵＵＵＵＵＵＵＵＵＵ

After three hours of emailing with a customer I can confirm that programmers are the worst customers.
Customer: We've found a bug in the system... <details>
Me: Thank you for letting us know, a ticket has been created and the issue is most likely to be fixed in the next release.
Customer: Please grant me UPDATE privileges in the live(!) database so I can fix it myself
Me: I cannot allow that. You have to use the client software for maintaining your data.
Customer: No, I don't want to spend my day clicking. I want to write queries.

We didn't reply to the last one yet...
If we give him access, then I would charge them at least 3x for fixing issues caused by him.

TL;DR: My devices all hate me and I needed to fix them all.

My Devices really love me.

I rooted my smartphone (LG G5) just yesterday. Everything went fine. Installed TWRP, SuperSU and some nice Apps that utilize root.

Today I was on the go (at CeBIT) and already had the Xposed Installer App on my phone, but didn't attempt installing it yet because I needed my phone for Maps and Messaging and the app had given clear warning about the bricking-potential.

So to the end of the day I get bored, send my last important Messages, installed the Xposed Framework...
... aaaand got stuck in a boot loop.

So I got on my way back home (thanks God I remembered all the trains I needed to take). On the way I had a lot of fun in the Recovery-Terminal and figured that I should be able to fix my phone with no problem at home because the installer made backups (unlike myself).

Coming back home and my pc was still running (should've shut down after installing updates).
The pc behaved odd and I couldn't shut it down properly, which led to cutting the power.
And upon booting my pc I got a ... give it a guess ...
...a bootloop (technically the animation just never ended).

So after I fixed my phone with my spare laptop (just transferred and executed the uninstaller for xposed) I fixed my PC too, which had an old broken dkms-driver.

The odd thing about this is, that this isn't technically a rant. I guess you can confirm that you can't find any swear words.
Because I ENJOYED fixing the devices. I already fixed my pc a couple of times was well as unbricking my rooted phones, so there was fairly little research involved.
I guess I'm now offically twisted.

Now, after my smartphone backups are transferred, I'Ll take my device apart and replace the camera glass which arrived today (and hope, no pray, that my sim card does still work after that)...
... after I blatendly copied a meme to get more attention. 😉

Can confirm bitcoin uses a lot of energy, I have been reading bitcoin tweets all day and I'm exhausted

1. our public transport added a free wifi to busses, some years ago already. it's got a "login" page, connect to wifi, get a phone notification, tap it, opens page with an ad and 10 second timer on a "click to continue to internet" button.
... okay.
recently, the geniuses decided to harvest mail addresses, which... *gritting teeth* if you must...
BUT... "please input your mail address". i input and submit.
"we have sent a mail with confirmation link to that address, please click the link to confirm to get access".

FUCKING BRAINZOMBIES, HOW DO YOU EXPECT ME TO ACCESS MY MAILBOX TO ACCESS INTERNET WITHOUT THE ACCESS TO INTERNET?

2. i had a second unrelated minirant, but i forgot what it was, so another one instead:
a long time ago, in a country where i live, the transaction slip the ATM gives you after withdrawing money used to contain info about remaining funds after withdrawal.
then, the info was removed from the slip, and a "feature" was added to atms where you "can" check the money on the account.
doing so costs you 0.50€

greedy asshole fuckers.

Thanks @dfox for the latest update with all the choices for my avatar.. Now I can flaunt my lack of fashion sense on devrant too! 😂😂

Product Manager: We’re assigning you to the Guest Checkout project.

I look at the Guest Checkout epic in JIRA and see it only includes frontend scope. Nothing about backend implementation.

I also find an older ticket about guest checkout. It was written by the former Product Manager. It explicitly says our admin switch for guest checkout no longer works because rebuilt checkout to use react. Why does no one bother to check the backlog??? I found this just by searching “guest checkout.”

Me: Um, our website doesn’t support guest checkout.

PM: What?! But the admin has a guest checkout option that can be turned on and off.

Me: Those admin options only apply if you’re still using the out-of-the-box solution for the e-commerce platform. Remember how we rebuilt checkout using React? We didn’t build it to support guest checkout. That admin switch doesn’t work anymore. We can ask a backend dev to confirm.

I check the code. The code that relates to the admin switch for guest checkout no longer exists. It’s a dead switch.

BE Dev: We made a lot of customizations since we purchased the e-commerce solution. So yeah, that guest checkout switch doesn’t work.

PM: [to me] …Our BE devs are busy with other projects. Can you do the backend for guest checkout?

😳

Me: You realize I’m just a frontend dev with only some backend knowledge, right? I’m not even close to fullstack. And you want me to architect an entire guest checkout flow? That will work with our current checkout experience? And that is HIPPA compliant? On top of doing the frontend?

So someone posted their btc wallet details (system automated message through a custom tool) to a paste in alternative.

Was the login for an ssh. Wont confirm or deny ssh-ing into it, but another guy who saw the same thing messaged me, sent a screenshot. Account had 127k usd worth of btc in it.

Called the radio station it belonged to and gave them a heads up. Probably should reported it as well but people already seen it so it'll get taken down soon enough.

Here I am broke, busting my ass and reality throws this in my lap. But I ain't never been no god damn thief. Hope the radio station it belongs to doesnt get robbed by someone less honest though.

Honesty is probably half the reason I've spent half my life broke trying to find or make opportunities.

And frankly I've heard real horror stories of good faith reports (whitehat style pentesting, etc) and the people that report it get fucked hard by authorities. What can you do though.

Enough navel gazing though.
What the fuck is wrong with the people who build these sort of account reset tools anyway?

Not as much of a rant as a share of my exasperation you might breathe a bit more heavily out your nose at.

My work has dealt out new laptops to devs. Such shiny, very wow. They're also famously easy to use.
.
.
.
My arse.
.
.
.
I got the laptop, transferred the necessary files and settings over, then got to work. Delivered ticket i, delivered ticket j, delivered the tests (tests first *cough*) then delivered Mr Bullet to Mr Foot.

Day 4 of using the temporary passwords support gave me I thought it was time to get with department policy and change my myriad passwords to a single one. Maybe it's not as secure but oh hell, would having a single sign-on have saved me from this.

I went for my new machine's password first because why not? It's the one I'll use the most, and I definitely won't forget it. I didn't. (I didn't.) I plopped in my memorable password, including special characters, caps, and numbers, again (carefully typed) in the second password field, then nearly confirmed. Curiosity, you bastard.

There's a key icon by the password field and I still had milk teeth left to chew any and all new features with.
Naturally I click on it. I'm greeted by a window showing me a password generating tool. So many features, options for choosing length, character types, and tons of others but thinking back on it, I only remember those two. I had a cheeky peek at the different passwords generated by it, including playing with the length slider. My curiosity sated, I closed that window and confirmed that my password was in.

You probably know where this is going. I say probably to give room for those of you like me who certifiably. did. not.

Time to test my new password.
*Smacks the power button to log off*
Time to put it in (ooer)
*Smacks in the password*
I N C O R R E C T L O G I N D E T A I L S.

Whoops, typo probably.
Do it again.
I N C O R R E C T L O G I N D E T A I L S.

No u.
Try again.
I N C O R R E C T L O G I N D E T A I L S.

Try my previous password.
Well, SUCCESS... but actually, no.

Tried the previous previous password.
T O O M A N Y A T T E M P T S

Ahh fuck, I can't believe I've done this, but going to support is for pussies. I'll put this by the rest of the fire, I can work on my old laptop.

Day starts getting late, gotta go swimming soonish. Should probably solve the problem. Cue a whole 40 minutes trying my 15 or so different passwords and their permutations because oh heck I hope it's one of them.
I talk to a colleague because by now the "days since last incident" counter has been reset.

"Hello there Ryan, would you kindly go on a voyage with me that I may retrace my steps and perhaps discover the source of this mystery?"

"A man chooses, a slave obeys. I choose... lmao ye sure m8, but I'm driving"

We went straight for the password generator, then the length slider, because who doesn't love sliding a slidey boi. Soon as we moved it my upside down frown turned back around. Down in the 'new password' and the 'confirm new password' IT WAS FUCKING AUTOCOMPLETING. The slidey boi was changing the number of asterisks in both bars as we moved it. Mystery solved, password generator arrested, shit's still fucked.

Bite the bullet, call support.
"Hi, I need my password resetting. I dun goofed"
*details tech support needs*
*It can be sorted but the tech is ages away*
Gotta be punctual for swimming, got two whole lengths to do and a sauna to sit in.
"I'm off soon, can it happen tomorrow?"
"Yeah no problem someone will be down in the morning."

Next day. Friday. 3 hours later, still no contact. Go to support room myself.
The guy really tries, goes through everything he can, gets informed that he needs a code from Derek. Where's Derek? Ah shet. He's on holiday.

There goes my weekend (looong weekend, bank holiday plus day flexi-time) where I could have shown off to my girlfriend the quality at which this laptop can play all our favourite animé, and probably get remind by her that my personal laptop has an i2350u with integrated graphics.

TODAY. (Part is unrelated, but still, ugh.)
Go to work. Ten minutes away realise I forgot my door pass.
Bollocks.
Go get a temporary pass (of shame).
Go to clock in. My fob was with my REAL pass.
What the wank.
Get to my desk, nobody notices my shame. I'm thirsty. I'll have the bottle from my drawer. But wait, what's this? No key that usually lives with my pass? Can't even unlock it?
No thanks.

Support might be able to cheer me up. Support is now for manly men too.
*Knock knock*
"Me again"
"Yeah give it here, I've got the code"
He fixes it, I reset my pass, sensibly change my other passwords.
Or I would, if the internet would work.

It connects, but no traffic? Ryan from earlier helps, we solve it after a while.

My passwords are now sorted, machine is okay, crisis resolved.

*THE END*

If you skipped the whole thing and were expecting a tl;dr, you just lost the game.

Otherwise, I absolve you of having lost the game.

Exactly at the char limit

Hi guys,

Im a Software Engineer from Germany. I've just heard that delevopers are much better paid in the US compared to Europe. In Europe/Germany i would get about 40k a year as Somebody who just finished university(bachelor degree). Can somebody confirm that ? You dont have to Post your exact income :P just Let me know if that's True, because i am Thinking about going to Work in the US in a few Years ..maybe some of you have german Friends in the US it Industry ? :)

Thanks for the answers.

A checkout application where, in the confirmation screen, everything (amount, references, currency, quantity of items, etc.) was sent to the client as a form, and they submitted this form to confirm.

...but there was no verification on any of the above. So any of the above could be changed and it'd collect whatever funds, and order whatever items, with whatever references you gave it.

This wasn't a major player in the space, but was big enough that most people would likely have heard of at least some companies using it. It's still being actively used today, and I can near guarantee not all the flaws have been fixed.

What the fuck is wrong with these kind of people?!
So I recently appeared for an android dev job interview in a start-up; the whole time the interviewer (he was the CTO) looked super excited and into my work. I am a fresh graduate with 0 experience in a professional working environment but have a history of a couple of successful apps on the play store since 3 years. The entire time we discussed future plans for the startup and how I was going to contribute towards it. He seemed very interested in my deep learning projects for android and wanted to have similar projects for his products. In the end, he asked me to develop some 'test' projects that can be integrated into his start-up products and told me he'll hire me if he finds it to be as per his need. So I worked on these 'projects' for a month and submitted it to him. He replied that he's impressed with them and will contact me shortly to confirm my job.
That fucker has been ignoring me ever since. He's not responding to any of my e-mails or messages. I feel like a shit right now. How to deal with these assholes?

can anyone confirm? 😨

so i am thinking; this site will help with my blood pressure? ;) anyone can confirm it yet? ;)

Usually my workplace is pretty chill, but today something rantworthy happened!

During code review, I found this guy had styled each element inside his components using nth-child selectors. For instance, in a card the heading was styled by nth-child(1), the text was styled by nth-child(2) and so on... No use of actual fucking classnames.

When I pointed this out, he told me it was actually the better way of doing things because classnames increase the size of the HTML document!

He also claimed proudly that nth-child() is more efficient in performance (idk - anybody can confirm this?)

I'm the only "css guy" there so nobody could second my views. Posting it here so that I can show this to him tomorrow by demonstrating what opinion other css devs have on this and prove my concerns / convince him to change his code.

I bet that all web devs can confirm this.
-You spend hours writing the code, and then open it on google chrome but nothing works :-( so you try to fix it spending another hour and at the end of the day you think: "let me try with firefox" and magically everything works percectly. And after all this there is only one thing to do and is 'sudo apt purge google-chrome' LOL

I can confirm your test scripts are working as you intended to. @-red

ME: *runs a load test for the umpteenth time*

RDS DB: *is slow af: HI contentions*

ME: "dear AWS support, I see the RDS has troubles writing to disk as THIS db exhibits 10x higher W latencies than THAT OTHER db we have. Both are identical, apps are identical."

AWS: "Hello, I hope you have a good day. After the investigation that took us almost 2 weeks, we can confirm that there are 10x higher IO latencies to disks: [CloudWatch link]. We also see a high load average during your tests.

We recommend investigating the high load average and tuning your queries along with the database.

I hope this helps, good day."

ME: *are you seriously calling this PREMIUM support package....?*

I DIDN'T SIGN UP FOR THIS !!!

After seeing bunch of posts about Enki, decided to give it a try,

enters my info on the sign up page
*email address is already taken* : WHAT !!

changes email address
*your username is already taken* : WHAT !!

goes back and search if there's any mails from Enki
*no results found* : Dafuq !!

Requests password reset
*Receives first mail from enki ever, with a reset link*

Did they change their name from something else to Enki or they have bunch of emails in their database to showoff user base ?

Can anyone shed some light on this, cause I'm 100% sure i didn't sign up for this before.

after resetting the password I'm able to login, but in the Notification section it says
*your email is not confirmed*

well i would confirm it, WHEN I GET IT !!

I see a lot of rants on this platform complaining about their boss/management.

About how they don't understand how complicated the development can be of seemingly simple tasks or how they would prefer small estimations over realistic ones.

Is that really the standard in this field of work?
Am I just that lucky to find basically the ideal boss on my first try?

My boss really understands how difficult some tasks can be even if they don't initially seem like it. He listens to my ideas as if they are at least just as important as his own. He can almost think like a real developer and is prepared to give us all tools we could want to evolve.

It is a very small firm and I'm basically the only real developer on this project, but I would follow that man to the ends of the earth.

Can some people please clear my conscience and confirm there are still good managers in this field who really care about their project and their employees/colleagues?

A /thread.

I have to say something important. As the story progresses, the rage will keep fueling up and get more spicy. You should also feel your blood boil more. If not, that's because you're happy to be a slave.

This is a clusterfuck story. I'll come back and forth to some paragraphs to talk about more details and why everything, INCLUDING OUR DEVELOPER JOBS ARE A SCAM. we're getting USED as SLAVES because it's standardized AS NORMAL. IT IS EVERYTHING *BUT* NORMAL.

START:

As im watching the 2022 world cup i noticed something that has enraged me as a software engineer.

The camera has pointed to the crowd where there were old football players such as Rondinho, Kaka, old (fat) Ronaldo and other assholes i dont give a shit about.

These men are old (old for football) and therefore they dont play sports anymore.

These men don't do SHIT in their lives. They have retired at like 39 years old with MULTI MILLIONS OF DOLLARS IN THEIR BANK ACCOUNT.

And thats not all. despite of them not doing anything in life anymore, THEY ARE STILL EARNING MILLIONS AND MILLIONS OF DOLLARS PER MONTH. FOR WHAT?????

While i as a backend software engineer get used as a slave to do extreme and hard as SHIT jobs for slave salary.

500-600$ MAX PER MONTH is for junior BACKEND engineers! By the law of my country software businesses are not allowed to pay less than $500 for IT jobs. If thats for backend, imagine how much lower is for frontend? I'll tell you cause i used to be a frontend dev in 2016: $200-400 PER MONTH IS FOR FRONTEND DEVELOPERS.

A BACKEND SOFTWARE ENGINEER with at least 7-9 years of professional experience, is allowed to have $1000-2000 PER MONTH

In my country, if you want to have a salary of MORE THAN $3000/Month as SOFTWARE ENGINEER, you have to have a minimum of Master's Degree and in some cases a required PhD!!!!!!

Are you fucking kidding me?

Also. (Btw i have a BSc comp. sci. Degree from a valuable university) I have taken a SHIT ton of interviews. NOT ONE OF THEM HAVE ASKED ME IF I HAVE A DEGREE. NO ONE. All HRs and lead Devs have asked me about myself, what i want to learn and about my past dev experience, projects i worked on etc so they can approximate my knowledge complexity.

EVEN TOPTAL! Their HR NEVER asked me about my fycking degree because no one gives a SHIT about your fucking degree. Do you know how can you tell if someone has a degree? THEY'LL FUCKING TELL YOU THEY HAVE A DEGREE! LMAO! It was all a Fucking scam designed by the Matrix to enslave you and mentally break you. Besides wasting your Fucking time.

This means that companies put degree requirement in job post just to follow formal procedures, but in reality NO ONE GIVES A SHIT ABOUT IT. NOOBOODYYY.

ALSO: I GRADUATED AND I STILL DID NOT RECEIVE MY DEGREE PAPER BECAUSE THEY NEED AT LEAST 6 MONTHS TO MAKE IT. SOME PEOPLE EVEN WAITED 2 YEARS. A FRIEND OF MINE WHO GRADUATED IN FEBRUARY 2022, STILL DIDNT RECEIVE HIS DEGREE TODAY IN DECEMBER 2022. ALL THEY CAN DO IS PRINT YOU A PAPER TO CONFIRM THAT I DO HAVE A DEGREE AS PROOF TO COMPANIES WHO HIRE ME. WHAT THE FUCK ARE THEY MAKING FOR SO LONG, DIAMONDS???

are you fucking kidding me? You fucking bitch. The sole paper i can use to wipe my asshole with that they call a DEGREE, at the end I CANT EVEN HAVE IT???

Fuck You.

This system that values how much BULLSHIT you can memorize for short term, is called "EDUCATION", NOT "MEMORIZATION" System.

Think about it. Don't believe be? Are you one of those nerds with A+ grades who loves school and defends this education system? Here I'll fuck you with a single question: if i gave you a task to solve from linear algebra, or math analysis, probabilistics and statistics, physics, or theory, or a task to write ASM code, would you know how to do it? No you won't. Because you "learned" that months or years ago. You don't know shit. CHECK MATE. You can answer those questions by googling. Even the most experienced software engineers still use google. ALL of friends with A+ grades always answered "i dont know" or "i dont remember". HOW IF YOU PASSED IT WITH A+ 6 DAYS AGO? If so, WHY THE FUCK ARE WE WASTING YEARS OF AN ALREADY SHORT HUMAN LIFE TO TEMPORARILY MEMORIZE GARBAGE? WHY DONT WE LEARN THAT PROCESS THROUGH WORKING ON PRACTICAL PROJECTS??? WOULDNT YOU AGREE THATS A BETTER SOLUTION, YOU MOTHERFUCKER BITCH ASS SLAVE SUCKA???

Im can't even afford to buy my First fuckinf Car with this slave salary. Inflation is up so much that 1 bag of BASIC groceries from Walmart costs $100. IF BASIC GROCERIES ARE $100, HOW DO I LIVE WITH $500-600/MONTH IF I HAVE OTHER EXPENSES?

Now, back to slavery. Here's what i learned.

1800s: slaves are directly forced to work in exchange for food to survive.

2000s: slaves are indirectly forced to work in exchange for money as a MIDDLEMAN that can be used to buy food to survive.

????

This means: slavery has not gone anywhere. Slavery has just evolved. And you're fine with it.

Will post part 2 later.

So I just used Google analytics data from my sites to reverse stalk someone who google stalked me today. I got a whole bunch of information including their mobile model, their city and bunch of other data to confirm they did actually stalk me and understand their psychology.

Backstory: I had deactivated my instagram a couple of weeks ago account without any notice. It was the best decision I made this year. I feel more focused and found myself with plenty of time which otherwise I would have spend on lusting over those sexy ig girls.

Thought nobody would even notice or care. But apparently this one girl, my 2020 covid long distance lover whom I haven't talked to in over 8 months noticed it and decided to Google me.

She spent over 25 mins on my main site and also somehow managed to discover my dead travel blog from Google. I was thinking that I did a good job with the pseudonym I used for the travel blog. Apparently that's not the case!

She must've then proceeded to my linkedin account listed on the site and then sent me a connection request. That was then the notification popped up in my phone earlier today and made me feel butterflies in my stomach. I hadn't felt those butterfly feeling ever since I figured out that we can't be together or possibly even meet for once in real life.

I was curious how she found my linkedin and why sent me the request. We are not even in a related work field, same country. I never thought I'd be thinking more than 5 secs over a linkedin connection request.

That's what lead me to check out the Google analytics data to find the chronology of the events that lead to this connection request.

Anyways, it warmed my heart to learn that she still remembers me after all these months and that she bothered to Google me. Maybe she worried if I blocked her in ig? Or maybe she wondered if I lost my life in the recent covid wave?..

I wanted her to think that I was dead by not responding to the linkedin connection request. But it is possible that she checked out my GitHub profile and found my recent activities.

It fucking sucks knowing that I might never meet her in real life. If we meet, I worry it will lead us to doing things that might hurt others.

I guess at least I can die knowing that there was some truth in our love and someone cared about me and that it was not some illusion I felt..

Maybe the least I can do for her is to just accept that connection request.

User A: We need to do some check on our data. So you need to add in a new function for this, we can't use your system otherwise.
Me: Ok then.
Spends 2 days or so to get it working
Me: So this is the function we'll add. Can you confirm that its ok?
User A: Ohh...but now I'm not too sure about this. Let me confirm with my team lead on this.
User A: I just checked. Good news,we don't really need that function now. I think we can use it with the current one anyway haha. And I just confirmed this so no worries.
So I just wasted my time then. Great.

Some customers are nice.

Ive been working with a customer to enable a feature in the database. It was tough, because the escalation from support was your standard 'Customer wants apples in the T-1000, please do the needful'. After several emails back and forth we reach an agreement about what needs to be done.

This is something I'm sure can't be done. I test it in my local install, yep, confirmed that's normal behaviour. The customer, however, is stalwart - he's suggesting changes to the database that would potentially give him what he needs. I figure if he's going to this much effort, I'll confirm with our product specialist to see if there's a way around it.

Five minutes later I'm emailing the customer with an apology as I have unwittingly never known of, or committed to memory, the existence of a distinctly non-hidden check box that enables this exact function. I pass this box several times a week at least, and I've worked on this software for two and a half years. Never have I needed to use it, so my brain just processed it as background imagery.

The customer just responded with the kindest email absolving me of my sins, thanking me for my humbleness and for my time.

I want him to have more problems so I can work with him more.

Y'all know when you first hear about interrupts? Maybe on an arduino or something when you're just getting started and learning?

Yea after suffering enough trying to get ISRs running on an x86 just to get keyboard input going, I can safely and securely confirm it's all going downhill.

I love you all.

# Honestly, no intention of starting a holy war;

Been a Linux guy for over 9 years spanning school, college and my previous job years;

Now I have to use Windows at my new job. I know very little abt this os and it has never been among my strong skills (only used it for gaming);

What's more intriguing is that my current company's entire infrastructure is Windows based - which I had no idea that it could be possible at such a large scale;

I don't know about what I feel about this whole thing. But what I know is that I don't wanna shy away from it. I love the job and the role (only just if it was Linux, it'd be perfect).

Just need this for a future reflection:
Can anyone confirm if it's the same with other investment banks/financial services institutions etc. infrastructure?

In highschool we went through something like a malware/phishing prevention course.

It was pretty cool tbh, we spend the whole hour in a virtual environment where you'd see common malware and phishing attempts, but the really fun you could also "hack" other students.

Hacking them means you could cause some things to happen on their "PC". One of those was showing in a captcha on their screen and they had to type a the string of your choosing, before they could access the rest of the "virtual computer" again.

You can probably guess where this is going.
I was the first who had the idea to mix big i and small L and tested it on our teacher, who was also part of this environment and screenshared to the projector.

Thanks to sitting next projection I could see the pixels and I can confirm: same character, Pixel perfect!

I will forever cherish the memory of my the teacher begging me to undo the "hack" and the chaos that followed amongst my peers 😈

Also one of the excersizes was stupid. Click on a phishing mail and enter your credentials in the form. I asked the teacher WTF kind of credentials they even want me to enter to microsooft.cum and they just said "the credentials obviously" so I think they got their karma🖕

As a Java/c# developer I can confirm this..

PM: Page load times are up. It might be your API blocking requests.

Me: Possible, though most of my load testing was performed against a random sample of requests at nearly 5 times the expected average per minute rate. I can add some logs but I think this is a red herring theory.

PM: Yes add logs, and New Relic and get it released ASAP.

Me: To confirm, you want me to make a bunch of diagnostic changes to a mission-critical API the day before Holiday break...

I felt like that guy from the Apollo 13 team warning Gene Kranz that the LEM was not built for this and I can make no guarantees... Released an hour before we went home for the weekend.

In the 90s most people had touched grass, but few touched a computer.

In the 2090s most people will have touched a computer, but not grass.

But at least we'll have fully sentient dildos armed with laser guns to mildly stimulate our mandatory attached cyber-clits, or alternatively annihilate thought criminals.

In other news my prime generator has exhaustively been checked against, all primes from 5 to 1 million. I used miller-rabin with k=40 to confirm the results.

The set the generator creates is the join of the quasi-lucas carmichael numbers, the carmichael numbers, and the primes. So after I generated a number I just had to treat those numbers as 'pollutants' and filter them out, which was dead simple.

Whats left after filtering, is strictly the primes.

I also tested it randomly on 50-55 bit primes, and it always returned true, but that range hasn't been fully tested so far because it takes 9-12 seconds per number at that point.

I was expecting maybe a few failures by my generator. So what I did was I wrote a function, genMillerTest(), and all it does is take some number n, returns the next prime after it (using my functions nextPrime() and isPrime()), and then tests it against miller-rabin. If miller returns false, then I add the result to a list. And then I check *those* results by hand (because miller can occasionally return false positives, though I'm not familiar enough with the math to know how often).

Well, imagine my surprise when I had zero false positives.

Which means either my code is generating the same exact set as miller (under some very large value of n), or the chance of miller (at k=40 tests) returning a false positive is vanishingly small.

My next steps should be to parallelize the checking process, and set up my other desktop to run those tests continuously.
Concurrently I should work on figuring out why my slowest primality tests (theres six of them, though I think I can eliminate two) are so slow and if I can better estimate or derive a pattern that allows faster results by better initialization of the variables used by these tests.

I already wrote some cases to output which tests most frequently succeeded (if any of them pass, then the number isn't prime), and therefore could cut short the primality test of a number. I rewrote the function to put those tests in order from most likely to least likely.

I'm also thinking that there may be some clues for faster computation in other bases, or perhaps in binary, or inspecting the patterns of values in the natural logs of non-primes versus primes. Or even looking into the *execution* time of numbers that successfully pass as prime versus ones that don't. Theres a bevy of possible approaches.

The entire process for the first 1_000_000 numbers, ran 1621.28 seconds, or just shy of a tenth of a second per test but I'm sure thats biased toward the head of the list.

If theres any other approach or ideas I may be overlooking, I wouldn't know where to begin.

Was reading something about delusional disorder, and it got a bit scary cuz it made me question myself. Now, I tell you why.

I have a bad memory when it comes to trivial stuff. And I am, by occupation and therefore on a daily basis, creative and imaginative. Having pretty strong imagination means that I often have to ask myself "did that really happen or did I imagine it?" Which, given anxiety, I imagine all types of scenarios before they happen. (Parallel universes got nothing on me 😎)

So, now I'm wondering, where is the line between imagination and delusion, and how can you say what's real and what's not, be it offline (distorted memory) or online (schizophrenia).

One idea could be that video recording could help confirm, but we read emotions and vibe in real-time, and often those can't be recorded.

... Idk. Maybe I'm overthinking it. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Thank you for reading my half-baked thoughts!

Developers insist that I give them a sketch file instead of a zeplin doc I'm like ok fine. Then I am told in like three weeks of development that they don't understand the sketch file when they insisted on it. So I'm like ok fine let me put it on zeplin. Then I'm told to compare their work with my designs. And ofcourse it doesn't match. So i sit and literally go through each margin , each padding with them. Then I'm told that they r over riding exsisting styles and say that's alot of development so I say ok I need to ask the product owner if it's gonna take more time. They get mad at me and say why I need to ask this? Like u told me it's gonna take you longer and I need to tell my boss? Then my boss says confirm all the styles with marketing ( everyone btw has seen my designs, reviewed them, and I have confirmed literally every change) and now I've been told to change a button to red ( why r your cta's and errors the same color I have no idea ??!) And then I tell the developers and they make a huge deal about changing the button from blue to red. NO ONE HERE HAS A STRUCTURE TO PRESENT HAND OFF TO THE DELVEOPERS. ITS SO ANNOYING.

Also can I just say in my presentation time and I had spent time on my designs and someone says oh let me show everyone through my screen.

I literally got a word out before all the delveopers in the room start arguing and skipping my design slides like R FO REAL? LET ME GO THROUGH THE JOURNEY ITS MY JOB.
LET ME HAVE CONTROL ON MY DESIGNS
UAIQBA.EAUKWHWUAGWNKRVIEVJWFEJCSJCSJCAHCSHXWH

sorry. I am typing this sitting on a sofa eating cake when I'm supposed to be on a diet but I'm wallowing and crying

I forgot my password to my mindfactory account, one of Germany's biggest online vendor for computer components. So I go through the resetting process, which is:

- apply for password reset
- get a mail
- confirm the mail
(So far, so good)

- get a mail with a new CLEAR TEXT PASSWORD

Is this the stone age!?

You never send an email containing the cleartext! You never even store the password as is!
You, as the provider, should never be able to know what the actual password was.

All you are supposed to do is to generate a random salt, and hash the user's password with the salt, and then you only store the salt and the hash. And whenever a user inputs their password, all you do is to check if the you can recreate the hash with the help of the salt and your hash algorithm. (There are libraries for that!)

If a user wants to reset their password? Send them to a mail with link on where they can assign a new password.

At no point should the password ever be stored or transmitted in any other medium.

So this happened some years ago:

The phone rings and as soon as I pick it up some fast talking sales rep begins his spiel.

"Good afternoon my name is [don't remember, calling him 'jigglybum'] and we have a device that you plug into your phone line and it will allow you to make free international calls over the internet. It's real easy to set up and you can have it on us for the first three months absolutely free, if you could just confirm your address..."

"Don't want it."

"I'm sorry sir but I think you're throwing away a massive opportunity here we're offering you free international calls."

"No you're not. You're offering me a free trial of some sort of VoIP hardware."

"We yes, but it's free for the first three months and..."

"We also don't make international calls."

"That maybe true sir but with this box you could."

"I'm really not interested in your product."

"I don't think you fully understand all the benefits..."

*there's a clicking noise followed by a dial tone for a second and a new voice*

"Hi, I'm the supervisor for 'jigglybum' and I think perhaps he is having difficulty explaining what it is that we are trying to give you here..."

"Listen to me, from what I have understood you are offering to send us a VOIP hardware device that directly connects to our broadband and facilitates international calls, and presumably any calls for that matter on a three month trial which after will presumably have a subscription fee, have I had any difficulty understanding the nature of the device and terms of use?"

"Well, no sir, that's a very accurate description, so if you could just confirm your address for me..."

"NO! As you have just admitted there was no misunderstanding about what your product is or what it does. There seems to be a real misunderstanding on your part on the concept of 'no'. We don't want this product, we don't need the product and if we want to make VOIP calls, we have Skype!"

"Ok sir, goodbye."

This is, to my knowledge the only and only time that a supervisor in a call centre has wanted to talk to ME.

Seems like we are only getting ++ notifications currently. I think I should've gotten notifications for mentions and new comments on rants I've posted on since the last 12h, but I only have ++ notifications. Can anyone else confirm?

Recruiter: I saw your resume and I found the perfect position for you but I have to confirm a couple of things.

Me: okay great.

Recruiter: I see you worked for a NOC for 2 years and your familiar with python.

Me: yes.

Recruiter: Great how does 50 sound.

Me: That's great I can definitely do 50k a year.

Recruiter: That's $50 an hour.

Me: Uh...... yeah definitely I can do that. What's the position again?

Recruiter: Senior Systems Engineer for B of A.

Me: Oh uhhh....... (In my head I'm like maybe I can fake it til I make it...)

Me: sigh..... I think you made a mistake....

I regret it but I would have lost them trillions possibly causing the financial collapse of the company for at least a week when they realize I'm not qualified.

Remember how I gushed about one note?

Well I purchased a new laptop today.

Load it up, log in to fucking windows 10.

What do I find in one note?

All my notes from my previous PC.

What did I explicitly fucking disable on my other PC?

Sharing and syncing.

What has obviously been shared and synced anyway, completely ignoring my settings?

My fucking notes in onenote, including some very personal notes on my health and life.

Can anyone else confirm they had the same problem?

I'm interested in pursuing legal action for this bullshit.

Anytime I see someone put "future" and "AI" in the same sentence, all I can think of is spambots advertising crypto scams, or scams promising to recover the money you as an idiot lost to a crypto scam, or a betrayed lover who utilized our premium haxor services to confirm that their spouse did in fact suck off the entire Wu Tang clan.

To which I conclude: what future? It's even worse than regular advertising and much more expensive, a regression in nearly every way.

I was thinking about the problems one of our clients faced with the launch of their project the other day, because things were rushed, stuff was omitted and in the end they could not meet the launch date, and I started making a list of hard lessons I learned over the years that would have helped them avoid this situation.

Feel free to add yours in the comments.

- Never deploy on Friday
- Never make infrastructure changes right before a launch
- Always have backups. Always!
- Version control is never optional
- A missed deadline is better than a failed launch
- If everything is urgent, nothing is important
- Fast and cheap, cheap and quality, quality and fast. Only one pair at a time can be achieved
- Never rush the start or the end of a project
- Stability is always better that speed
- Make technical decisions based on the needs of the project two years from now
- Code like you will be the only maintainor of the project two years from now. You probably will...
- Always test before you deploy
- You can never have too many backups (see above)
- Code without documentation is a tool without instructions
- Free or famous does not necessarily mean useful or good
- If you need multiple sentences to explain a method, you should probably refactor
- If your logic is checked beforehand, writing the code becomes way easier
- Never assume you understand a request the first time around. Always follow up and confirm

There are many more that should be on this list, but this is what came to mind now.

The HR for my last employer sucks.

After I left, my employer changed record keepers for the 401k before I could rollover the funds to an IRA. I thought, “It will be fine. I’ll wait until they finish setting up the new record keeper. Then, I can do the rollover.”

When the blackout period was about to end, I didn’t receive any instructions about the new record keeper. The funds had been transferred already and I called the old record keeper to confirm it was done by my former employer. I think, “Maybe they forgot to contact me because I’m no longer an employee.”

I email HR and ask when I can expect instructions on how to access the new record keeper. Idiots send me instructions for the old record keeper and how to file for a distribution. HR had actually called the old record keeper for these instructions when the funds were no longer with the old record keeper. WTF 😤

It takes all of my strength to write a civil email. I remind them that funds were transferred nearly 2 weeks ago by them to a new record keeper. I repeat that I need instructions on how to access the new record keeper and I don’t need instructions on how to file for a distribution from the old record keeper.

I’m effing glad I don’t work there anymore. I can’t deal with that HR’s idiocy anymore.

9000 internet cookie points to whoever figures out this shit:

I'm trying to import a secret gpg key into my keyring.
If I run "gpg2 --import secring.gpg" and manually type each possible password that I can think of, the import fails. So far, nothing unusual.
HOWEVER
If I type the same passwords into a file and run:
echo pwfile.txt | gpg2 --batch --import secring.gpg
IT ACTUALLY FUCKING WORKS

What the fuck??? How can it be that whenever I type the pw manually it fails, but when I import it from a file it works??
And no, it's not typos: I could type those passwords blindfolded from muscle memory alone, and still get them right 99% of the time. And I'm definitely not blindfolded right now.

BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE!!

Suppose my pwfile.txt looks something like this:

password1
password2
password3
password4
password5
password6

Now, I'm trying to narrow it down and figure out which one is the right password, so I'm gonna split the file in two parts and see which one succeds. Easy, right?

$ cat pw1.txt
password1
password2
password3

$ cat pw2.txt
password4
password5
password6

$ echo pw1.txt | gpg2 --batch --import secring.gpg
gpg: key 149C7ED3: secret key imported

$ gpg2 --delete-secret-key "149C7ED3"
[confirm deletion]

$ echo pw2.txt | gpg2 --batch --import secring.gpg
gpg: key 149C7ED3: secret key imported

In other words, both files successfully managed to import the secret key, but there are no passwords in common between the two!!
Am I going retarded, or is there something really wrong here? WTF!

Me: [jira comment] We have similar text for the mobile version of the site already. [includes screenshot of what site looks like now] Are you sure about this?

[radio silence for a few hours]

Me: [slack] I want to follow up.

Web Operations: What’s the issue?

Ooh k. Slack messages can have a tone.

Me: I just want to confirm we’re not repeating copy.

Web Ops: We’re not.

I complete the ticket and submit for review. The C-suite for my department reviews.

C-suite: [to web ops in JIRA comment] This looks weird. Is this right? [sends screenshot of my work because there is repeated copy, like I said there’d be]

Web Ops: [in JIRA comment] Oh, I thought X was questioning the request. X changed the wrong text.

C-suite: The website has always looked like that. You’re looking at X’s screenshot for the current website. Look at the screenshot I sent over.

Later, I complain because web ops was completely unprofessional with the comment about “questioning the request.”

C-suite: Web Ops is working hard. It’s our busy season and it’s their first time dealing with it. You know, I’m going to teach them some css and html so they can make content changes in the CMS and they’re not sending over changes so often and bothering you.

Me: [to myself] 🤨 wtf so it’s ok for web ops to treat me like dirt. And in writing. And with service that’s version controlled—JIRA emailed web ops comment to me. And lol no 😂 on teaching them how to code. That’s such bullshit. We all know you’d never allow them to edit the CMS because they’d fuck up the site. And they wouldn’t do edits anyway because it’s beneath them. And idk how this relates to web ops gross behavior.

A few days later.

Me: I was offered a job elsewhere. Here’s my two weeks notice.

C-suite: Can you push back your last day? It’s our busy season.

Me: Nope. Bye Felicia.

Just a thought:

Google can piss off everyone by adding a "Confirm password" field in the sign in page.

*muhahahaha*

Tried to upgrade my internet connection from 25mbps to 75mbps. My ISP sent me a success message through email and sms and can confirm that the speed is legit (upload/download). One day later, no internet connection again. Why the fuck does this shit keep on happening to me. Quarantine sucks.

Bugreport @dfox or @trogus

On the Android app, comment a rant and remove it (modify -> delete). After that the last comment before your's will go all the way to the bottom, instead of having a "spacer" for the social buttons.

Can anyone confirm it?

I went to meet a client with our CTO. In the meeting we discuss the implementation of SAML SSO. Their SSO guys asked whether they need to build 2 trusts for our application because we have 2 modules that use SSO. Both the CTO and I were not sure because we did not have any prior experience of integrating SAML SSO. To act professional, we couldn't say we were not sure. So the CTO said we needed two trusts. I immediately added "We may only need one. Let us do a bit of investigation and confirm."
After the meeting I did the investigation and found out we really only needed one. So I sent out an email to tell the client, cc the CTO. 1 minute later I got the email from the CTO "why tell them one when I said two?". When it's an immediate response with only 1 line, I know I'm in trouble. So I called him and was ready to explain to him. I couldn't. Later I found out the time I was calling him, he was talking about this with the CEO.
I thought maybe I can explain to him when he's available. The next morning as I came to work, the CEO asked me to come to his office. He closed the door, and told me the first line the CTO told him the day before was "I want him (me) fired." I was so shocked. Having been working with the CTO for quite a while, I was surprised he said that without even communicating with me. Did I do something that wrong that you don't even bother to tell me what's wrong? I was not fired because the CEO at least asked what happened. He also understood I was actually making a better technical decision. But well, guess I shouldn't be making a decision when I had no power to. And even I believed the client heard my "let me investigate first" comment, the CTO didn't. I still got an unofficial warning. For that whole day because of the stress, I don't remember getting anything done.
Fuck that acting like profession and smart when you are not. I'd go down the path of becoming professional and smart instead. And fuck metting with clients. I'm a dev don't fucking dare to talk to me and get me fired. If you wanna talk, talk to the big guys who don't make us look bad like I did.
If you ask me today I still believe I haven't done anything wrong there. So fuck everything.

Any U.S. Americans here who can confirm the stories about "U.S. Americans beginning to stock Up on guns and ammo"?
I mean it sounds plausible but it's surely mostly overblown by the media, right? RIGHT?!

So my endpoint management has started flagging up tiktok as containing malware, specifically hiddad.b can anyone confirm this? Anyone got a decent antivirus on their android ?

So today my company was removing most workspaces with USB 2 connections, DP cables and magsafe 2 power cables. This means that my MBP mid 2014 can't connect to the keyboard and monitors anymore. It already struggled with 4K, so my 2K options were already limited, but now the last few spots are mostly gone. In short: I'm being forced to upgrade.

But tell you what: I don't want to. It feels like a waste to recycle my laptop (even if it's company paid and owned) while it's perfectly acceptably fine. And mind that I will get the latest and greatest i9 for free. Yes, that overheating, throttling failure of hardware design piece of shit. 2 coworkers already own the beast and confirm that it gets really hot really quickly. One of them even has daily crashes (the laptop just turns off) and random reboots. A total waste of money. And my future time. As if it's not enough work to migrate to a new laptop (even with Time Machine).

So, fellow ranters, what do I do? I hope I can leverage the second best MBP (CPU-wise) from this situation, unless there already is a bunch of i9s in the office ready to be used. I really, really don't want one. And I think my current computer is great for what it is, even if it's old. It's a really pro machine for my needs (I'm very efficient, except for Android Studio).

I even consider asking for a Linux machine, but then a whole new world opens to me that may be a step too big (since I barely have hands-down experience).

Enlighten me with your ideas, muggles!

I'd like to propose that we pivot the saying "there are no bad ideas" into " it's okay to have bad ideas".

Having worked with web frontends the last couple of years I can confirm with reasonable certainty that there are indeed several bad ideas, and "no bad ideas" is not a veto that will make me implement a 3d carousel calendar.

Hey everyone, I'm looking to setup my own vpn and I stumbled upon "algo vpn" which we can self host. Can anyone confirm on this ?
@linuxxx @linux @condor @floydian

The conversations that come across my DevOps desk on a monthly basis.... These have come into my care via Slack, Email, Jira Tickets, PagerDuty alerts, text messages, GitHub PR Reviews, and phone calls. I spend most of my day just trying to log the work I'm being asked to do.

From Random People:
* Employee <A> and Contractor <B> are starting today. Please provision all 19 of their required accounts.
* Oh, they actually started yesterday, please hurry on this request.

From Engineers:
* The database is failing. Why?
* The read-only replica isn't accepting writes. Can you fix this?
* We have this new project we're starting and we need you to set up continuous integration, deployment, write our unit tests, define an integration test strategy, tell us how to mock every call to everything. We'll need several thousand dollars in AWS resources that we've barely defined. Can you define what AWS resources we need?
* We didn't like your definition of AWS resources, so we came up with our own. We're also going to need you to rearchitect the networking to support our single typescript API.
* The VPN is down and nobody can do any work because you locked us all out of connecting directly over SSH from home. Please unblock my home IP.
* Oh, looks like my VPN password expired. How do I reset my VPN password?
* My GitHub account doesn't have access to this repo. Please make my PR for me.
* Can you tell me how to run this app's test suite?
* CI system failed a build. Why?
* App doesn't send logs to the logging platform. Please tell me why.
* How do I add logging statements to my app?
* Why would I need a logging library, can't you just understand why my app doesn't need to waste my time with logs?

From Various 3rd party vendors:
* <X> application changed their license terms. How much do you really want to pay us now?

From Management:
* <X> left the company, and he was working on these tasks that seem closely related to your work. Here are the 3 GitHub Repos you now own.
* Why is our AWS bill so high? I need you to lower our bill by tomorrow. Preferably by 10k-20k monthly. Thanks.
* Please send this month's plan for DevOps work.
* Please don't do anything on your plan.
* Here's your actual new plan for the month.
* Please also do these 10 interruptions-which-became-epic-projects

From AWS:
* Dear AWS Admin, 17 instances need to be rebooted. Please do so by tomorrow.
* Dear AWS Admin, 3 user accounts saw suspicious activity. Please confirm these were actually you.
* Dear AWS Admin, you need to relaunch every one of your instances into a new VPC within the next year.
* Dear AWS Admin, Your app was suspiciously accessing XYZ, which is a violation of our terms of service. You have 24 hours to address this before we delete your AWS account.

Finally, From Management:
* Please provide management with updates, nobody knows what you do.

From me:
Please pay me more. Please give me a team to assist so I'm not a team of one. Also, my wife is asking me to look for a new job, and she's not wrong. Just saying.

So first rant, here goes weirdness, and also lengthy rant

So in my company we have the hr and accounting managed by the same person which also deals with all things employee related and she had a need for a way to extract a birthday from, what is in our country the personal identification number, things go great i get a formula that performs parts of the magic up to the point where the first digit of the number dictates the gender and century to be used when forming the full year, mind you only the last two digits of the year are in plain within the id number so i thy a number of ideas. After bashing around google sheets for a while ( i've got open office installed and formulas don't export well to the excel that person uses but google sheets does so i built it there).

First idea : make a few conditionals to check for the value so we have 1 and 2 for 19th century, 3 and 4 for 18th century , 5 and 6 for 20th so i go ahead and write my conditions and they fail, all evaluates to false, it cascades through the else variants up to the last one so i'm wondering if the "if" itself doesn't support the or operator, seems it does, next i think it's the bloody condition written wrong so i reevaluate my logic in php in a test script, it works as intended, then i think ok not the right function called, let's see the docs, docs confirm i'm doing it right but what was wrong was the way i was getting that first number, using left seems to produce a string although the base thing is a number, now i start searching how i can cast it, like you would normaly do when the data type is fried, value function appears to be the solution but it isn't working....now i'm thinking "ok so i have a value and different things to print out so let's look for a switch, maybe it can understand that" switch function found under the form of choice, i get it sorted but am stuck wondering why the heck was the if and value combination not working.

Simple answer to that : value doesn't work well with function results, a known bug listed by someone in a comment, a comment i have failed to read for about 45 minutes of trying to understand.

All in all it worked well for the person asking for it so it's nice.

Infrastructure took away our read access in S3 to data that we own and our ability to manually delete/upload to S3 in that prefix (which we own). Without waiting for us to confirm that we have alternative means to read and change what is in there. And I had no warning about this, so here I am doing a midnight mod on an existing solution of mine in hopes that I can finish it before tomorrow morning for some legal reporting deadline.

Things would be so much easier if the infrastructure team let the emergency support role have those permissions for emergencies like this, but they didn't. I guess "least privilege" means "most time spent trying to accomplish the most trivial of things, like changing a file".

As a military veteran, I can confirm that cleaning up others people's code all day is just as bad as picking up other peoples cigarette butts all day.

Well can confirm after a second viewing, the new star wars is ok, not great not bad buuuuuuut, it's a lot better the second time if you start looking at the smaller details and realise a lot of new things, overall, 5/10

holy shit I swear taxes are like the government trying to tell you you're a peasant to them

my medicare card is about to expire and FOR SOME REASON now the process to renew is a fucking interrogation about various documentation the government has given you. before it was just your damned name, date of birth, and a new photo for the card.

evidently they were supposed to send you snail mail 3 months before expiration. evidently also the only way to renew is get this said snail mail.
and evidently I have to go through this "catchall" change your address with everything in the government process
which is a little ironic
because
to use this service you need to give them something called a notice of assessment, which is when the government accepts your taxes they send you back one of those
well I haven't had access to my tax portal for years. I keep filing them and getting excess money back but I can't actually see any of my returns.
so I tried this time
12 pages of verification and more verification... you do one step, it says wrong info because if you have to write in 2,474 well turns out the , fucks it up and your info doesn't match what's on file and if you fail more than 3 times you'll be locked out. repeat. page after page. how many fucking pages are there? what format are they expecting? nobody fucking knows. you'll get to find out if you pass just this one more!
after about 4 hours of this shit
and they have 2 factor authorization now?! wtf.

then this next step is id verification or we snail mail you a code (WHICH AGAIN IS IRONIC)

I chose id. health card doesn't count, it notifies me later. thankfully I have a passport. bad news, passport expires this September so guess who is gonna be having more fun later
the app of course can't use my camera in the browser I have, so I start downloading fucking other browsers and finally hit one that works
also they lied. they also want a selfie. then it tells me I failed to look like myself. if you fail to look like yourself 3 times you are denied.

ok. so I try snail mail. the page says if I revoke consent to id I can go do the snail mailed code. they lied. if you revoke consent it exits the whole wizard. you enter all the verification steps again.

I try to get them to snail mail me the code. they want some basic info they asked me like 16 times now, and a postal code. ironic. well this is the tax people, so by this point I found all my previous sent in tax returns (though I can't access the government's replies). checked. yep. address all the same. put in the postal code. nope. somehow it's wrong. 3 times I put all this random info in in different ways. 5 times and I'm locked out.

now fucking what.

THE FUCKING IRONY OF
I NEED TO CHANGE WHERE I LIVE SO YOU CAN SNAIL MAIL ME SOMETHING
AND TO CHANGE WHERE I LIVE I HAVE TO CONFIRM WHERE I LIVE SO YOU CAN SNAIL MAIL ME SOMETHING FUCKING ELSE

the government just fucking dunks on you

guess we're all not having fucking medical cards anymore. all we do is pay taxes, and can't even see the paperwork to those taxes we pay.

Long post, TLDR: Given a large team building large enterprise apps with many parts (mini-projects/processes), how do you reduce the bus-factor and the # of Brent's (Phoenix Project)?

# The detailed version #

We have a lot of people making changes, building in new processes to support new flows or changes in the requirements and data.

But we also have to support these except when it gets into Production there is little information to quickly understand:
- how it works
- what it does/supposed to do
- what the inputs and dependencies are

So often times, if there's an issue, I have to reverse engineer whatever logic I can find out of a huge mess.

I guess the saying goes: the only people that know how it works is whoever wrote it and God.

I'm a senior dev but i spend a lot of time digging thru source code and PROD issues to figure out why ... is broken and how to maybe fix it.

I think in Agile there's supposed to be artifacts during development but never seen em.

Personally whenever i work on a new project, I write down notes and create design diagrams so i can confirm things and have easy to use references while working.

I don't think anyone else does that. And afterwards, I don't have anywhere to put it/share it. There is no central repo for this stuff other than our Wiki but for the most part, is like a dumping ground. You have to dig for information and hoping there's something useful.

And when people leave, information is lost forever and well... we hire a lot of monkeys... so again I feel a lot of times i m trying to recover information from a corrupted hard drive...

The only way real information is transferred is thru word of mouth, special knowledge transfer sessions.

Ideally I would like anything that goes into PROD to have design docs as well as usage instructions in order for anyone to be able to quickly pick it up as needed but I'm not sure if that's realistic.

Even unit tests don't seem to help much as they just test specific functions but don't give much detail about how a whole process is supposed to work.

Vodafone Quits Facebook’s Libra Cryptocurrency Project

“We can confirm that Vodafone is no longer a member of the Libra Association. Although the makeup of the Association members may change over time, the design of Libra’s governance and technology ensures the Libra payment system will remain resilient,” the Libra Association said in a statement.

“The Association is continuing the work to achieve a safe, transparent, and consumer-friendly implementation of the Libra payment system.”

I know Dubai is a shithole for workers for low-skilled jobs or if you are not rich brown. Can anyone confirm if it is a shithole for software engineers, leaving the tax-free perk?

Me in outsourcing sending questions to teamleader to confirm some details in task.
Respond: can we call via skype

Well ok. So we connected and started talking.

TL - "So rest of task connected to the database will provide my co-worker"

Soo the business analityc sold me the view of what user have to see. We disconected and then it hit me.

He tricked me. He was so good with his sell skills that he covinced me to understand when I actually knew less than before call

My lang skill still are so bad but "learning in progress"

Can someone from Intel confirm whether the minesweeper thing is true? XD

"Can you confirm the program is ______?" Is a question you ask a developer when you have some semblance of what the fuck is happening. When you don't have the slightest clue don't try to impress me by guessing or pretending you didn't miss an entire set or requirements.

Question for the electrically minded.

I have a laptop with a 19v input.

I have a portable UPC with 2 voltage options in the range of this, I can undervolt at 16v (the laptop battery voltage) which works with a small firmware correction to ignore a board sensor, the other option is to slightly overvolt to 19.5v which I assume the laptop could handle through its input regulation.

Can anyone confirm if a .5v variance at charger is within tolerance? It would be an overvolt of 2.5%

So yeah now that WSL 2 has been released to insiders, I can confirm that it is 'just' a virtual machine. However it's an incredibly lightweight one. Honestly it's just as responsive as when using iTerm on my Mac.

I gotta say I was hesitant about it being a vm, but they've executed it in a great way. My only problem with it at the moment, is that it only works as a host-only network. Would be nice to have the possibility of changing network adapter settings

Pretty sure this is a new recruiting ploy but how can I confirm?

Well we have android P now and as much as navigation gestures are better than in the dev previews, can confirm it still feels horrible in comparison to the iPhone X, everything else did great though!

As a dev I never gave the possibility of someone using my notebook, PC or phone to snap a photo of me much thought because I just assumed that whoever made the camera module was smart enough to make it so that whenever the CCD/CMOS sensor receives power an LED wired to the same rail lights up - letting you know the camera is on... BUT! That is an assumption I made, has anyone looked how are webcams wired up? Can anyone confirm my assumption?

Recently I had the "pleasure" to participate in a recruitment process for a web developer internship position.

First of all, a nice lady calls me to confirm everything and sets up a meeting. She mentions about a qualification test and gives me several technologies like python, c#. I was confused but we explained everything and she knew I was not interested in these technologies since I didn't apply for python or c# dev.

Later on I go to their company building to take the test. I get the test, I overview all tasks - 80% of the test was composed of OOP and C#. OOP - this I can understand but fucking C#? Seriously wtf? I wrote the test the way I was able to do it and at the end the guy says it was deliberate to put other technologies so that he could check how would we find ourselves in a situation like this.

Honestly, I felt like the whole process was a big joke for them. I wasted time going there just to see that I'm taking the test that includes the things posted in the job offer only in 20%.

Fuck them.

I can confirm that Crystal lang v1.0.0 is not stable really. I seem to have hit a block. For example, I get error messages like this frequently:

`Error: can't use Hash(K, V) as generic type argument yet, use a more specific type`.

I love the "yet" in this message; it gives you some hope!

Saw my colleague debugging. He's got a try-catch, then I asked, "Why aren't you logging the stack trace?". He answered, "I don't cause it will be a security risk". So there he was having a hard time debugging.🤯
Can you guys confirm if what he said is true?

Passwordless Unix login leading to a console menu. You can then FTP in for free and remove ~/.login . Boom ! Shell access! And I already had a superuser access from another "dialog" asking to confirm a dangerous action with the superuser's password. Boom! Root access !!

I notice something in the news network.

They can be either bias or don't take a stance.

For some topic their reporting is very bias. Only giving a single point of view and just use facts to confirm it. I call it being bias.

For topic which they can be criticize for taking either side they use the so called "expert discussion"

They gather various expert and discuss about the topics.

Start = Undecided
End = Still undecided with a lot of confusions.

Some people will call it Democratic news channel , Republican news channel. They are wrong. There is only 1 news channel since they are all the same.

I am losing trust on the news channel (which I should not be feeling)

Do you guy feel the same?

It annoys me immensely when I struggle with myself, criticizing my own lack of knowledge in certain areas and my colleagues say: "You'll learn by doing". No, I won't, that's a foolish dogma.

I won't and I have never learned by 'doing'. The best results I've obtained have been through understanding every last bit of what's under the hood of a particular functionality. I'm not going to understand the white box by constantly probing the black box, it's just unsatisfactory and insufficient information. It's even dangerous to base yourself on the black box results because you often might get false positives.

I got through university by massive multilateral sensory focus: kinesthetic (writing things down), auditory (listening to the professor), visual (observing graphs and models of the material taught), conscious (mentalizing it all and interlinking information so that later it's accessible from long-term memory). I can confirm this is necessary for the brain because a Neurologist once told me just that.

At least for me, I had the most horrible grades (D's and F's) in freshman year with the 'learn by doing' method and the best grades (A, A+) with the multi-sensory method in later years as I matured my studying methods. In fact, with that method I've continuously outsmarted other people who had 10 years more experience than me ('experts', 'consultants',..) but they preferred to stay in the ignorant 'bro zone' rather than learning things properly. Even worse, the day they arrived on the scene, they completely broke the production environment and messed it up for the whole team. I felt like banging my head on my desk. It just makes me disappointed in the system.

If you follow popular method, you'll soon find yourself in the same problems that arise from doing what everyone else does. What happens at that point? That's right, they have to call in someone who actually bothered learning things.

I have the following scenario with a proposed solution, can anyone please confirm it is a secure choice:
- We have critical API keys that we do not want to ship with the app because de-compiling will give access to those keys, and the request is done before the user logs in, we are dealing with guests

Solution:
- Add a Lambda function which accepts requests from the app and returns the API keys
- Lambda will accept the following:
1. Android app signing key sha1
2. iOS signing certificate sha1
- If lambda was able to validate them API keys are sent back.

My concerns:
- Can an attacker read the request from the original (non-tampered) apk and see what the actual sha1 value is on his local network?
- If the answer to the question above is yes, what is the recommended way to validate that the request received is actually from the app that we shipped and not from curl/postman/script/modified version of the app

Hey folks!
I'm looking for some software or service to manage the referees in my sports club.
I want to assign people (and maybe even groups of people) to a specific game and have an automatic notification for them. Then the assigned referee should be able to confirm or deny the assignment.
Some extras would be something like a counter of how many games each specific referee has done and some kind of calendar where the referees can block some dates where they don't want to have a game.

Any suggestions? Thanks in advance!

It seems Java on Linux runs slower than Windows... Same code takes about 2x longer to run. And well this code is for a batch job...

Does anyone have experience with JVM tuning/optimization or can confirm/disprove this is the case?

To solve problems in life, One must be irritated to have a solution or else it will be a norm to the society... We want to propose something that can eliminate our irritation. I, once commute a trycycle who charged me 5¢ because it was too far to fetch other commuters... So i kicked his vehicle and he drove away. I reported to the traffic office because thats where they record the violation and they never issued this case... I can think of a PWA that lets the commuters to report those pesky and annoying trycycle driver.

We won't display the bio of the violated person but we will put their temp number written in their body parts. So that the commuters wont go to the office just to report, instead. Let the commuters immediately report them. Im ranting because of overcharged fee... Even among of my classmates agree... A hundred dollar idea for this. I really need to solve this because it irritates me... And by the way, there wont be report abuse because the officer will confirm if both parties crossed the line of argument via message/call. Its just within the city so its not much of a deal outside the vicinity

PS. dont judge my english. I suck at it.

So I'm wondering if anyone here have claimed the free swag from Codeship? If I'm understanding things correctly you can get 10(?) T-shirts for free? Can anyone confirm or deny this? Sounds too great to be true ^^

!Rant
I've got somewhat of a problem: a client claims that the date format at a website is wrong. I am using Carbon for Date output which extends PHP's DateTime which uses the Linux locales. Can someone here confirm that they have seen a similar but that the date is wrong in Romanian, slowenian and Czech? (The format would be somewhat like wednesday, 17. January 2017).

Can i lie on linkedin and put i worked at a company i never worked at for several years? Does anyone during hiring even check to confirm that?