I was explaining git and Github to one of my friends during our boring maths class when he asked : "What is the difference between git and Github?". Just then another friend of mine sitting in front turns out and said : "It's like the difference between porn and Pornhub".

"Why are people using Git? It's too complicated. Dropbox can do the same kind of things."

- A fellow CS student at university

Mac: Suddenly turns off
Me: Fuck my code..F***
Mac: No response at all
Me: reset SMC etc etc
Mac: I am dead (no battery detection, dies after 10 min on power adaptor)
Me: Skips a heart beat..(Git, oh yea git)

**Takes Mac to store, After diagnosis**

Apple Freaking Genius (AG): Your Mac has a mother board problem it needs to be replaced.
Me: Hmm what is the problem exactly??
AG: Issues in logic board and some other components.
Me: How much?
AG: Out of warranty so $$$ (60% of original amount)
Me: (wtf?) Really
AG: It's entire motherboard replacement .. bla bla

**Bring it home > open > everything seems ok on multimeter as per circuit diagram > finally finds a voltage drop that is not consistent > minute short circuit > remove > check further > nothing else > reassemble > hit power button > starts fine > freaking battery detected > works fine**

0 $ repair

Fixes two more devices @ 0 $ in friend circle

Builds a raspberry pi backup laptop with 3d printed body..Ubuntu.. you know can't live without a computer

#ThugLife #Engineer

When your professor pronounces Git as "jit", you know it's time you drop out.

Consultant: "you should deploy a website. Use wordpress and have a draft ready in a few days. It's easy."

Me: "It's a static website, a one-pager even. I think we would be better served with something light-weight without a database."

Consultant: "99% of the websites in the entire internet are powered by wordpress. It's state of the art, you should use it"

Me: 😢 "Nooo, it needs mainentance and stuff. Look, XY is much simpler. You can even version the static site with git"

Consultant: 😤

We ended up with wordpress for our static website now. I am so proud. I absolutely love wordpress. It is amazing. Now my static one-pager can have plugins, multiple users, security issues and all that. The future is now!

When you stare into git, git stares back.

It's fucking infinite.

Me 2 years ago:
"uh was it git fetch or git pull?"

Me 1 year ago:
"Look, I printed these 5 git commands on a laptop sticker, this is all I need for my workflow! branch, pull, commit, merge, push! Git is easy!"

Me now:
"Hold my beer, I'll just do git format-patch -k --stdout HEAD..feature -- script.js | git am -3 -k to steal that file from your branch, then git rebase master && git rebase -i HEAD~$(git rev-list --count master..HEAD) to clean up the commit messages, and a git branch --merged | grep -v "\*" | xargs -n 1 git branch -d to clean up the branches, oh lets see how many words you've added with git diff --word-diff=porcelain | grep -e '^+[^+]' | wc -w, hmm maybe I should alias some of this stuff..."

Do you have any git tricks/favorites which you use so often that you've aliased them?

I was activating virtualenv in powershell when my younger brother came in.

Me: *all nervous* please don't think I'm hacking or trying to set off a bomb. (He always thinks I'm hacking and tells on me.)

Brother: *silent*

Me: *even more nervous* I don't want my laptop to get taken away. Don't tell on me and say I'm hacking, because I'm not.

Brother: Oh, I know you're not hacking this time.

Me: You do? *relieved.*

Brother: Yeah, because this time it's a blue background, not a black one.

Me: Oh, haha. So you're only scared of things such as these? *opens CMD and Git Bash* you know, just because it's dark themed, doesn't mean it's malicious. Besides it—

Brother: oooOooOh! You're hacking again! I'm telling on you!

*Note to self: Never use dark theme in front of the ignorant again.)

A true story... sad but true
2.00AM ->> git commit -m "it's time to sleep"

2.45AM ->> git commit -m "I can't sleep, fixed the UI issue"

Somehow I feel like I personally owe Linus for git.

17:50 Colleague whispers "fuck" and the entire project we've worked on for the last half year responds with 404.

17:55 A quick diagnosis shows that she wrote "rm - rf ../" instead of "./" when she threw out her staging dir an thereby deleted everything.

17:58 git pull, everything is back.

18:15 everything is configured and we're up and running again.

**Alternative Timeline without Version control **

17:58 We start looking through Backup folders

18:20 We're fairly confident to have found the most up to date Backup in /var/backup/newback/v2/june/new/released/ and start copying back into the project directory.

19:30 Some files are missing we start patching shit up.

19:40 I realize how much work went down the drain and start strangling my colleague. The Api seems to do the most important things again.

20:00 My colleagues dead body is hidden and I'm 80% confident that the tasks depending on us should run.

Next day: They didn't run. Every nightly build failed, nobody can do anything useful.

A week later : Shits starting to work again, all lost files are replaced. Replacement for dead colleague still missing though.

It's moments like this that make you really appreciate the luxurys we have nowadays...

Why is the "leave building"command now working?!?!?! Are you sure it's a Git command?? .... Oh shit.

HR people working in tech companies, let's talk about them...

*phone rings and I pick up*
HR Lady: Hi, this is [name] from [company]. I'm calling you regarding your application you submitted [some date 2 months ago!].

Me: *realizing that I've applied 2 freaking months ago* Hmmm OK....

HR Lady: Yes, well, we asked for your GitHub account, but you seem to have forgotten to provide it.

Me: *open up the email and see that I've sent them my GitLab account* Well, I have the email right here and I did send you a git account. I mean, it's not GitHub specifically but it's a GitLab account, pretty much the same thing, you should be good with that.

HR Lady: OK, let me put you on hold for a minute.

*2-3 minutes passes*

HR Lady: Hi sir, I've asked my colleague [which I suppose is another HR] and he told me that they're not the same thing, we cannot proceed until you give us the right link, you need to send us a link to your GitHub account.

Me: I mean, they aren't the SAME EXACT thing, but both companies provide essentially the same service, it's like Messenger and WhatsApp. Look, I'm pretty sure that if you give this to another programmer they'll be fine.

HR Lady: No, Messenger and WhatsApp aren't the same thing. Sir, please stay polite. We need a GitHub account not a GitLab account.

Me: *mumbling* Oh boy.... M'am, it's OK, I don't need the job anyway, I've found something. Two months is a long time and I needed something quickly. Thank you, have a good day.

No, I'm not "switching to FTP," it's about time your learn git mate.

At first there was nothing...

Then the software engineer said "LET THERE BE A PROJECT"

and there was a project. And it was [good]

On the secondth day, he said " LET THERE BE GIT", and there was a empty git repo

his colleagues hate him because thy still live in 2001 and they use SVN. But it was {good}

On the thirdth day, he said, "LET THERE BE AUTOMATION" and build systems came, And it was </good>

On the fourth day, he said "LET THERE BE A FRAMEWORK" and a framework was born. Problem is, it didn't work in his machine , so he whined and StackOverflow. It's still ["g", "o", 0, "d"]

on the fifth day, he said " LET THERE BE FRONTEND", and the frontend was born, but his colleagues again, ranted for using Angular instead of React. It's still "good";

And on the sixth day, he said "LET IT BE SOLD TO A CUSTOMER" and it was, but the bloke was a cheapskate wanker and paid him only the half of the contract price. But it was still good.

And on the seventh day, he rested, but he didn't actually, because Developers never rest nor sleep. And it was good

Yesterday I used a company service account to email over 1,000 internal employees (mostly application managers and the like) about an old OS version their servers are using which must be upgraded in a few months. It's an automated email that will repeat each month until the servers are upgraded.

That is not the part that might get me fired.

The part that might get me fired is an easter egg I left in the html content of the email itself.

In the embedded html of the message, I buried a comment block that contains a full-screen ascii-art drawing of a spooky tree and grim reaper standing beside a tombstone. The tombstone has the OS info and dates on it. Beneath the ascii-art is a bastardized quote in homage to Metallica's "For Whom The Bell Tolls", referring to the OS end-of-life.

The ascii-art is visible in both the html and the internal git repo that contains the email template.

This is a bit of a shoe-horn for this weekly group rant, as I doubt there is any chance I would really be fired over this, as I (sadly) expect that absolutely NO ONE who receives the messages will ever actually see the comments. But it's out there in the corporate network now... and will be sent over and over for the next few months...

There is a better chance someone may catch the easter egg in the git repo, but I kind-of doubt that, too - so I wanted to at least share with my devRant friends that it's out there, so at least someone else knows than just me. 😝

The Linux Kernel, not just because of the end product. I find it's organizational structure and size (both in code and contributors) inspirational.

Firefox. Even if you don't use it as your main browser, the sheer amount of work Mozilla has contributed to the world is amazing.

OpenTTD. I liked the original game, and 25 years after release some devs are still actively maintaining an open source clone with support for mods.

Git. Without it, it would not just be harder working on your own source code, it would also be harder to try out other people's projects.

FZF is possibly my favorite command line tool.

Kitty has recently become my favorite terminal.

My favorite thing open source has brought forth though is a certain mindset, which in the last decade can be felt most heavily in the fact that:

1. Scientific papers with accompanying GitHub urls, especially when it comes to AI. Cutting edge research is one git clone away.

2. There are so many open hardware projects. From raspberry pi to 3d printers to laser cutters, being a "maker" suddenly became a mainstream hobby.

!rant
!!git

Who here uses `master` for development?

My boss (api guy) tried to convince me that was normal practice. I gently told him that it sounded crazy and very very bad.

Here's the dev path I'm enforcing on my repos:

(feature branches) -> dev -> qa* -> master -> production*

*: the build server auto-pulls from these branches, and pushes any passing builds to staging/production.

Everyone works on their own feature branches, and when they're happy with their work, they merge it into `dev`. `dev`, therefore, is for feature integration testing. After everything is working well on `dev`, it gets merged into `qa` for the testers to fawn over and beat with sticks. Anything that passes QA gets merged into `master`, where it sits until we're ready to release it. When that time comes (it's usually right away, but not always), `master` gets merged into `production`.

This way, `master` is always stable and contains the newest code, so it's perfect for forking/etc. Is this standard practice, or should I be doing something different?

Also, api guy encourages something he calls "running a racetrack" -- each dev has their own branch (their initials) and they push to that throughout the day. everyone else pulls from it regularly and pushes to their own branch. When anyone's happy with their code, they push from their (updated) branch to `qa` (I insisted on `dev` instead.)

Supposedly this drastically reduces the number of merge conflicts when pushing to an upstream branch due to having a more recent ancestor node?

I don't quite follow that, but it seems to me that merging/pushing throughout the day would just make them happen sooner? idk.

What are your thoughts?

I'm over here wondering how in the hell this guy can contribute every day like this.

Never gonna git you up
Never gonna pull you down
Never gonna fork away
it's a bad day!

Never gonna git you up
Never gonna commit again
Never gonna get issues
That's how it goes

I have spent 20 minutes explaining to a contractor how to stage a file in git and what a filepath is.

It's moments like this where I stop worrying about my job security

Fell like I can finally vent this now I've calmed down.

Me: You've fucked the tree again
Junior: No I haven't
Me: It says there "Fixing merge conflicts"
Junior: Well it wasn't me I wouldn't have done a merge
Me: It has your name next to it...
Junior: Well that commit wasn't there a second ago
Me: it's dated for Friday...
Junior: Well if you hadn't committed to master and blah blah blah
Me: We'll if you knew know to use git we wouldn't have this problem.

Oh boy look at the time. It's already screw-up o' clock.

git push --force origin master

I'm not angry, mostly sad.

At my workplace we don't use git.
There are constant overwriting, sending code via email or USB stick and forgetting passwords to zip-files shenanigans going on.

I already use git for all my local projects (literally git init in the directory) but my coworker and I thought that it would be a great idea to have a local server with a Gitlab running on it.
So I started looking into running a self-hosted Gitlab (for about 15 minutes) and then our boss who was sitting right next to me almost shouted at us: "Such stuff should be coordinated with the boss! We don't just do something and burn my money because it's _cool_!"

No, git is not cool, it's necessary for crying out loud! Gitlab is cool but at the end of the day also just another tool too.

I guess I have some persuasion to do.

I don't know what version control has done to our boss that he has such a deep dislike for it.

Fuck git!
Oh, it's solved.
I love git! Git is awesome.

You can't imagine how many lines of pure and utter horseshit, seemingly written in PHP, I had to dig through this whole weekend. (relating to my 2 previous rants)

How is it even possible to write code this unbelievably ugly?

Examples:
- includes within loops
- included files use variables from parent files
- start- and endtags separated to different files
- SQL queries generated by string concatenation, no safety measures at all (injection)
- repeating DB calls within loops
- multiple directories with the same code (~40 files), only different by ~8 lines, copied
- a mixture of <?php echo ... ?> and <?= ... ?>
- a LOT of array accesses and other stuff prefixed with "@" (suppress error messages)
- passwords in cleartext
- random non-RESTful page changes with a mixture of POST and GET
- GET parameters not URL-encoded
- ...

My boss told me it took this guy weeks and weeks of coding to write this tool (he's an "experienced dev", of course WITHOUT Git).

Guess what?
It took me only 20 hours and about 700 lines of code.

I must confess, since this task, I don't hate PHP anymore, I just simply hate this dev to death.

Addendum: It's Monday, 5:30am. Good night. 😉

Product Owner: "need this doing in 6 months, can you do?"
Me: "we're too busy to start another project at the moment - can you wait about 6 months for it to start, or I'll have to hire more devs"
PO: "I'll just outsource it"

36 months later the company he outsourced to is out of business and hasn't delivered, and I've had their half-finished shit show git repo dumped on me.
No comments, no docs, and no units tests, so no fucking idea what it's supposed to do

This one hits home a bit.

So my friend from my first college hits me up, asks about what's going on and shit. It's all chill, we took a bunch of programming classes together, so it we weren't intimate friends just kinda familiar with each other. He says he's having trouble finding work, they all turn him down due to a lack of experience. I suggest we work on a project together. Anything. He thinks it's a good idea and we plan to meet up.

We meet up, long story short decided on an Android app. I failed setting up git but whatever, I'll fix it at home. He seems excited, I'm excited...

...Never heard back from him again. Won't answer texts, Skype, anything.

Just released the side project that made me join programming! :) It's been about five months and I learned a lot: PHP, JavaScript, CSS, Handlebars, Jquery, Git (terminal), I even started building a RestAPI. Its been an amazing journey, and I didn't alone! I met other Devs (now good friends) over the Internet and we did it together :) Thanks to everyone on DevRant for being such a great community!
If you want to take a look at the site is: projectgroupie.com
It's a website to find new projects you like and join them! So if you're a developer and you wanna make a blog, you post your project on PG asking for some designer to help you and if someone like it, he can join! :)

I hope you enjoy it and any feedback is welcome!

Start-up: hires 3 junior devs to save money.

Start-up: expects things to get done faster-- BUT-- Start-up keeps adding things to the TO-DO list and backlog-- i.e. it's all relative!!

Start-up: gets angry at 3 junior devs why they can't deliver when they keep adding tasks and ask we fall behind.

Dev team: "Seriously? You hire more devs to finish tasks faster, but you keep adding more than are being finiahed-- obviously it's gonna take longer now regardless"

Git --pull life together

Writing more infrastructure than product.

Look, my application requests and transforms data from a single external API endpoint, it's just one GET request...

But I made an intelligent response caching middleware to prevent downtime when the parent API goes down, I made mocks and tests for everything, the documentation is directly generated from the code and automatically hosted for every git branch using hooks, responses are translated into JSONschema notation which automatically generate integration tests on commit, and the transformations are set up as a modular collection of composable higher order lenses!

Boss: Please use less amphetamine.

Joined a new project at work a few months ago.
Cloned the git project and waited...
and waited...
2 minutes later download finished.
Checked the size it's 2.6Gb
Me: why is it so big?
Senior developer: this project has been under development for 15yrs.

Checked git history and someone committed a 2.1Gb binary two years ago...*sigh*

Alright so im a highschool student and I just got sent down to the office for using putty to push to git because it's hacking. Wtf.

Git alias

fuckthat=reset --hard

Because it's easier on the eye.

The company i work for has a jenkins server (for people that don't know jenkins, it's an automated build service that gets the latest git updates, pulls them and then builds, tests and deploys it)

Because it builds the software, people were scared to update it so we were running version 1.x for a long time, even when an exploit was found... Ooh boy did they learn from that...

The jenkins server had a hidden crypto miner running for about 5 days...

I don't know why we don't have detectors for that stuff... (like cpu load being high for 15 minutes)

I even tried to strengthen our security... You know basic stuff LIKE NOT SAVING PASSWORDS TO A GOOGLE SPREADSHEET! 😠

But they shoved it asside because they didn't have time... I tried multiple times but in the end i just gave up...

I'm such an idiot!

For a while now, my machine has been kinda sluggish.

Just installed VSCode and a little popup saying that git was tracking too many changes in my home directory. I must've ran `git init` at some point and it's spent fucking forever tracking changes of >3,000 files.

`rm -rf .git/`

Quick. As. Fuck.

TFW your client's git policies are so draconian that the dev teams use "develop" as trunk, and completely ignore the release process.

I wrote up 50 pages of git standards, documentation and procedure for a client. Bad indian director 9000 decides the admin (also Indian) who specializes in Clearcase and has no git or development experience is more qualified to decide and let's him set the policy.

FF to today:

- documentation, mostly contradictory, is copy pasted from the atlassian wiki
- source tree is the standard
- no force pushing of any branches, including work branches
- no ff-merge
- no rebasing allowed
- no ssh, because he couldn't figure it out...errr it's "insecure"
- all repos have random abbreviated names that are unintelligible
- gitflow, but with pull requests and no trust
- only project managers can delete a branch
- long lived feature branches
- only projects managers can conduct code reviews
- hotfixes must be based off develop
- hotfixes must go in the normal release cycle
- releases involve creating a ticket to have an admin create a release branch from your branch, creating a second ticket to stage the PR, a third ticket to review the PR (because only admins can approve release PRs), and a fourth ticket to merge it in
- rollbacks require director signoff
- at the end of each project the repo must be handed to the admin on a burned CD for "archiving"

And so no one actually uses the official release process, and just does releases out of dev. If you're wondering if IBM sucks, the answer is more than you can possibly imagine.

Let the student use their own laptops. Even buy them one instead of having computers on site that no one uses for coding but only for some multiple choice tests and to browse Facebook.

Teach them 10 finger typing. (Don't be too strict and allow for personal preferences.)

Teach them text navigation and editing shortcuts. They should be able to scroll per page, jump to the beginning or end of the line or jump word by word. (I am not talking vi bindings or emacs magic.) And no, key repeat is an antifeature.

Teach them VCS before their first group assignment. Let's be honest, VCS means git nowadays. Yet teach them git != GitHub.

Teach git through the command line. They are allowed to use a gui once they aren't afraid to resolve a merge conflict or to rebase their feature branch against master. Just committing and pushing is not enough.

Teach them test-driven development ASAP. You can even give them assignments with a codebase of failing tests and their job is to make them pass in the beginning. Later require them to write tests themselves.

Don't teach the language, teach concepts. (No, if else and for loops aren't concepts you god-damn amateur! That's just syntax!)

When teaching object oriented programming, I'd smack you if do inane examples with vehicles, cars, bikes and a Mercedes Benz. Or animal, cat and dog for that matter. (I came from a self-taught imperative background. Those examples obfuscate more than they help.) Also, inheritance is overrated in oop teachings.

Functional programming concepts should be taught earlier as its concepts of avoiding side effects and pure functions can benefit even oop code bases. (Also great way to introduce testing, as pure functions take certain inputs and produce one output.)

Focus on one language in the beginning, it need not be Java, but don't confuse students with Java, Python and Ruby in their first year. (Bonus point if the language supports both oop and functional programming.)

And for the love of gawd: let them have a strictly typed language. Why would you teach with JavaScript!?

Use industry standards. Notepad, atom and eclipse might be open source and free; yet JetBrains community editions still best them.

For grades, don't your dare demand for them to write code on paper. (Pseudocode is fine.)

Don't let your students play compiler in their heads. It's not their job to know exactly what exception will be thrown by your contrived example. That's the compilers job to complain about. Rather teach them how to find solutions to these errors.

Teach them advanced google searches.

Teach them how to write a issue for a library on GitHub and similar sites.

Teach them how to ask a good stackoverflow question :>

You can say everything about Git, but you can't deny it's really commited to its job.

Real Linux fuck up coming up.

Be me.
Working on a project.

Accidentally used sudo with git pull, every file now is only accessible for root users.

Thinking to myself.. okay I'll just do chmod 777 to the current directory

Forgot how to use chmod
At first something like
Sudo chmod ./ 777

Not working
Maybe
Sudo chmod / 777

Not working
Remembering that it's the other way around

sudo chmod 777 /

Now... I fucked up. I forgot the dot, and for a sec I forgot that '/' means root directory and not current like './' does.

Few moments later the permission system of Ubuntu is utterly fucked. Everything is not working.

Need sudo in order to fix everything but sudo isn't working.

Few hours of crying later,I solved it thanks to some nice ppl online helping stupid people like me who used that command...😂

I joined a "multi-national" company in middle-east where 90% of the developers are Indian. And since it's a "multi-national" company with 50+ developers I thought they already figured it out. Most of them have 5-10 years of experience. They should know at least how to use git properly, deployment should be done via CI/CD. database changes should be run via migration script. Agile methodology, Code Review - Pull Request. Unit testing. Design Patterns, Clean Code Principle. etc etc

I thought I'm gonna learn new things here. I have never been so wrong in all my life...

Technical Manager doesn't even know what Pull Request is. They started developing the software 4 years ago but used Yii v1 instead which was released almost a decade ago. They combined it with a VueJS where in some files contains around 4000 lines of code. Some PHP functions contain 500+ of code. No proper indentions as well. The web console is bloody red with javascript errors. In short, it's the worst code I've seen so far.

No wonder why they keep receiving complaints from their 30+ clients.

Before knowing how to use git: Pff, it's ridiculous...
After knowing how to use git: *modifies 3 lines*
*git commit*

I had to explain what version control was to the dinosaur last week. (Our cto, for more context check last post)

So we've been having issues getting our infrastructure dude to do deployment because he is sick of the treatment he gets here and has basically checked out.

Deployments then fell onto the dinosaur. After struggling for an eternity to figure out app settings (any junior dev could figure this out) he finally deployed, however it was from qa branch.

I gently reminded him that we were deploying from master and that all changes in qa should be merged to master when testing phase is over.

He informed me that 'he doesn't think that's a good idea because if we merge to master and there's problems then it's fucked forever and there is nothing we can do'

I stood there with my mouth hanging ajar until I finally managed to squeeze out 'that's literally what git is for....' 🤡

- If I buy x amount of ram | hard drive space | cpu power I will never need more.
- No need for version control | Tests. This is a small project
- git commit -m "changes" (its a small change. I will remember why I did it)
- It is too obvious that I put a lot of personal time in this so my boss will definitely notice!
- Why comment this simple method? Anyone should know what it does. Especially me!
- "this should never happen"
- This call can't be from work. Everyone knows I am on vacation.
- I will back up next week. It's not like it is going to crush today.
- It’s 11:30 already? I will work on this for only a half hour more and then I will definitely go to bed!
- This project will take x amount of time!

**Web Host Rant**

I can't believe how saturated the market is. I also can't believe how many Web hosts do not know a thing about development. You would think you'd want to read up on development practices before going into the business since developers are your customers.

Not to mention that a lot of hosting services are resellers of resellers of resellers. It's to the point where a 15 year old with their mom's credit card can start doing Web hosting. The problem is... they don't know how to answer actually development questions... they won't be in a conference call with you while you do deployments.

It infuriated me to the point where I've started my own hosting company. Completely managed and using the most advanced technologies aimed towards developers. Not only that but an advanced managment package that will teach proper deployment procedures and be there to hold your hand when you do deploy.

Oh and did I mention git will be available to even shared hosting? Oh and did I also mention that we are currently setting up put own git server?

Github Inc. (Feel good inc. parody)
=========================

Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.
Github.
Fetch it, fetch it, fetch it, Github.
Fetch it, fetch it, fetch it, Github.
Fetch it, fetch it, fetch it, Github.
Fetch it, fetch it, fetch it, Github.

Fetch it, fetch it, fetch it, Github.
Fetch it, fetch it, fetch it, Github.

(change) Fetch it (change), Fetch it (change), Fetch it (change), Github
(change) fetch it (change), fetch it (change), fetch it (change), Github

Repos breaking down on pull request
Juniors have to go cause they don't know wack
So while you filling the commits and showing branch trees
You won't get paid cause it's all damn free

You set a new linter and a new phenomenal style
Hoping the new code will make you smile
But all you wanna have is a nice long sleep.
But your screams they'll keep you awake cause you don't get no sleep no.

git-blame, git-blame on this line
What the f*ck is wrong with that
Take it all and recompile
It is taking too lonnng

This code is better. This code is free
Let's clone this repo you and me.
git-blame, git-blame on this line
Is everybody in?

Laughing at the class past, fast CRUD
Testing them up for test cracks.
Star the repos at the start
It's my portfolio falling apart.

Shit, I'm forking in the code of this here.
Compile, breaking up this shit this y*er.
Watch me as I navigate.
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.

Yo, this repo is Ghost Town
It's pulled down
With no clowns
You're in the sh*t
Gon' bite the dust
Can't nag with us
With no push
You kill the git

So don't stop, git it, git it, git it
Until you're the maintainers
And watch me criticize you now
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.

Break it, break it, break it, Github.
Break it, break it, break it, Github.
Break it, break it, break it, Github.
Break it, break it, break it, Github.

git-blame, git-blame on this line
What the f*ck is wrong with that
Take it all and recompile
It is taking too lonnng

This code is better. This code is free
Let's clone this repo you and me.
git-blame, git-blame on this line
Is everybody in?

Don't stop, shit it, git it.
See how your team updates it
Steady, watch me navigate
Aha-ha-ha-ha-ha.

Don't stop, shit it, git it.
Peep at updates and reconvert it
Steady, watch me git reset now
Aha-ha-ha-ha-ha.

Github.
Push it, push it, push it, Github.
Push it, push it, push it, Github.
Push it, push it, push it, Github.
Push it, push it, push it, Github.

I jump on an existing scala project.

git pull && sbt compile test

Tests are failing.

Me: "Hey team, the tests are failing."

Team member: "That cannot be. They were passing for the the last run."

Me: "Did you run them locally?"

Team member: "No, on Jenkins. It was fine."

I check Jenkins.

Me: "What do you mean it's fine. The last successful deployment was on the end of May."

Team member: "The Pull Request checker always went through successfully."

I check how our Jenkins tasks are configured. It's true that the Pull Request Checker runs successfully yet due to a "minor misconfiguration" (aka "major fuckup") the Pull Request Checker only tests a tiny subset of the entire test suite.

Team members were were fine if their Pull Request got the "Success" notification on bitbucket's pull request page. And reviewers trusted that icon as well.

They never checked the master run of the Jenkins task. Where the tests were also failing for over a month.

I'm also highely confused how they did TDD. You know, writing a test first, making it green. (I hope they were just one specific test at a time assuming the others were green. The cynic in me assumes they outsourced running the tests to the Jenkins.)

Gnarf!

Team member having run the tests locally finally realizes: "The tests are broken. Gonna fix them."

Wow. Please, dear fellow developers: It does not kill you to run the entire test suite locally. Just do it. Treat the external test runners as a safety net. Yet always run the test suite locally first.

I call my git repos the field hospital.

I didn't finish my studies, but I seem to be the most qualified person to pick up the scalpel. Big corner of body bags. New brilliant ideas arrive, I do what I can with the time I have. Sometimes something survives, but it's usually too heavily mutilated to fully function. Unfinished refactorings develop into hardened scar tissue, the feature creep starts festering and leaking.

I should get better at triaging, just deleting old crap, pick one project and nurse it back to health.

But it's not easy to start with fresh focus, when your keyboard is still soaked in booze and the blood and tears of all the victims you've butchered.

git commit -m "It's 4:59pm, let me commit since it seems like a sane choice even though everything is currently broken"

It's been a year , I have been contributing to open source and using GitHub.......
There were some people who criticized me for doing open source, saying there's no future in that and u will end up doing nothing.
(But I never listened to them and ignored there words)
Few days back the same person asks me how to start contributing to open source and help him learn git.
U know what I did then??
I ignored again.

New job today, here is my start so far:
coworker: Hi, first you have to set up your lamp project..
me: Good, let's do it.. Please give me the repo git URL
coworker: here is everything, but.... the database is on MySQL.
me: ok, did you have any TeamSQL or something to track this?
coworker: nop.
me: check the database and see the whole file size is 4GB.... Checking the file on plain .txt i see the problem WORDPRESS.

So far to import this file on my LAMP i use Bigdump script and works like a charm.

coworker: Take it easy dude, it's your first day. You can do this task in a few days, don't rush it.

me: :/

What an absolute fucking disaster of a day. Strap in, folks; it's time for a bumpy ride!

I got a whole hour of work done today. The first hour of my morning because I went to work a bit early. Then people started complaining about Jenkins jobs failing on that one Jenkins server our team has been wanting to decom for two years but management won't let us force people to move to new servers. It's a single server with over four thousand projects, some of which run massive data processing jobs that last DAYS. The server was originally set up by people who have since quit, of course, and left it behind for my team to adopt with zero documentation.

Anyway, the 500GB disk is 100% full. The memory (all 64GB of it) is fully consumed by stuck jobs. We can't track down large old files to delete because du chokes on the workspace folder with thousands of subfolders with no Ram to spare. We decide to basically take a hacksaw to it, deleting the workspace for every job not currently in progress. This of course fucked up some really poorly-designed pipelines that relied on workspaces persisting between jobs, so we had to deal with complaints about that as well.

So we get the Jenkins server up and running again just in time for AWS to have a major incident affecting EC2 instance provisioning in our primary region. People keep bugging me to fix it, I keep telling them that it's Amazon's problem to solve, they wait a few minutes and ask me to fix it again. Emails flying back and forth until that was done.

Lunch time already. But the fun isn't over yet!

I get back to my desk to find out that new hires or people who got new Mac laptops recently can't even install our toolchain, because management has started handing out M1 Macs without telling us and all our tools are compiled solely for x86_64. That took some troubleshooting to even figure out what the problem was because the only error people got from homebrew was that the formula was empty when it clearly wasn't.

After figuring out that problem (but not fully solving it yet), one team starts complaining to us about a Github problem because we manage the github org. Except it's not a github problem and I already knew this because they are a Problem Team that uses some technical authoring software with Git integration but they only have even the barest understanding of what Git actually does. Turns out it's a Git problem. An update for Git was pushed out recently that patches a big bad vulnerability and the way it was patched causes problems because they're using Git wrong (multiple users accessing the same local repo on a samba share). It's a huge vulnerability so my entire conversation with them went sort of like:

"Please don't."
"We have to."
"Fine, here's a workaround, this will allow arbitrary code execution by anyone with physical or virtual access to this computer that you have sitting in an unlocked office somewhere."
"How do I run a Git command I don't use Git."

So that dealt with, I start taking a look at our toolchain, trying to figure out if I can easily just cross-compile it to arm64 for the M1 macbooks or if it will be a more involved fix. And I find all kinds of horrendous shit left behind by the people who wrote the tools that, naturally, they left for us to adopt when they quit over a year ago. I'm talking entire functions in a tool used by hundreds of people that were put in as a joke, poorly documented functions I am still trying to puzzle out, and exactly zero comments in the code and abbreviated function names like "gars", "snh", and "jgajawwawstai".

While I'm looking into that, the person from our team who is responsible for incident communication finally gets the AWS EC2 provisioning issue reported to IT Operations, who sent out an alert to affected users that should have gone out hours earlier.

Meanwhile, according to the health dashboard in AWS, the issue had already been resolved three hours before the communication went out and the ticket remains open at this moment, as far as I know.

I never really used Git or any Source Control before but today I decided yo give it a shot.
IT'S FUCKING AMAZING!!
I fucking love branches!!! I have to change the way an app stores configurations and git makes it incrediblyyy easy without risking fucking up everything in production

A day in the life of BoyBiscuit.

PM: Please zip up any local changes and push them to a temp folder on the repo and I will manually check to see what you have changed.
Me: *glaring at the download as zip button*

PM: Who broke the repo?
Me: *checks commit history*
Commit History: *last commit PM*

Me: Could you add the files to your commit before pushing because you've only pushed changes on tracked files.
PM: No not possible, I did 'commit -a'.
Me: ....

PM: Could you all delete your forks so that It isn't anywhere on the web
US: but it's private with only us as collaborators
PM: No because I can see it
Me: srysly?

PM: Could everyone try to write more effective code?
Me: Looks at his code
Code: Boolean b = getbooleanVal ? True : False;

Tl;Dr: PM doesn't know anything about git or working as a team.

See you tomorrow!

God bless the Git, for the has done the forsaken and deleted a script many a era ago, and on this blessed day of days, he who is a dickhead needed such thy script to test functionality thy requires to be in the heavenly clouds to utilise....

Fuck I love git history to save me from having to write this thing again 🥰

Ps: IF YOU DON'T USE GIT, BE ASHAMED!

I just tried to "git commint"
And then "gut push"

It's like i have auto correct on my fingers 🙌

1. Slack. Pretty good chat app for dev companies, I use it to prevent people standing next to my desk 40 times a day.

2. Unit testing tools, especially when fully automated using a git master branch hook, something like codeship/jenkins, and a deployment service.

3. Jetbrains IDEs. I love Vim, but Jetbrains makes theming, autocompleting & code style checks with mixed templating languages a breeze.

4. Urxvt terminal. It's a bit of work at the start, but so extremely fast and customizable.

5. Cinnamon or i3. Not really dev tools, but both make it easy to organize many windows.

6. A smart production bug logger. I tend to use Bugsnag, Rollbar or Sentry.

7. A good coffee machine. Preferably some high pressure espresso maker which costs more than the CEO's car, using organic fairtrade hipster beans with a picture of a laughing south american farmer. And don't you dare fuck it up with sugar.

8. Some high quality bars of chocolate. Not to consume yourself, but to offer to coworkers while they wait for you to fix a broken deploy. The importance of office politics is not to be underestimated.

Inner Me: Where the fuck is this bug coming from
> Set a breakpoint in every single place where the method I'm using is being called.
> Try calling the method before every function call
Inner Me: FUCKING DAMNIT! It's been hours now
Inner Me: No way it's the library I'm using.
Inner Me: That couldn't possibly be the problem
> Try running it again and delete some more shit
Inner Me: FUCK MEEEEEEEE
> Getting delirious
> Begin to look at some stupid memes.
> Come back to it.
> Have an Ah-ha moment
> Try running it again but rearrange the order of the method calls
> Still no luck
> try git stashing a bunch of my changes
> git stash apply them back
> erase the method call entirely
Inner Me: well that sort of worked, but now all my numbers are incomplete
Inner Me: FUCKING FINE!!! I'LL LOOK IN THE GODDAMN LIBRARY
Inner Me: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK a stupid integer casting was occuring to my floats!!!

Now Talking to my girlfriend.

Me: The problem was in the library I was using
Girlfriend: How are you going to fix it if it's in the library?
Me: ... I can, because I wrote the library...
Me: FUCK ME RIGHT?
Me: I guess moral of the story; sometimes the problems starts with ourselves
GF: Hahaha. Thats Deeep

Him: "No developer worth his salt puts each of his brackets on a new line."

Me: "I mean... I agree it's uglier but your whitespace commit means we git blame you for everything."

Him (upset): "You BLAME me? I'm sorry I have standards."

Me: "Not blame blame, git blame like the history view of the-"

....too late he reverts his commit and hates me for life.

I wasn't even disagreeing, I was trying to explain git blame. :(

Hi guys, this is my first rant so bear with me..

Stupid Indian fucking institutes doesn't give a shit about the things we learn in the institute. This curriculum is like from the 90's. I learnt NodeJS recently and I thought wow a new concept, not even my professor knows about it. I must be on top of the world or at least any way near it and then I see these video tutorials on the internet which are posted 2 years ago. OH MY GOD!! The thing is that my department's HOD doesn't know about that and the funny thing is that I'm doing a project under him "SECURITY OF WEB APPLICATIONS" and the only thing he knows is PHP. And FYI I'm not studying in an institute which is oblivious to the outside world. It's called an NIT, an institute of national fucking importance. At the end, I blame myself though. I should have been on myself not being completely dependent on the professors for knowledge.
I could fill the entire text area with the rant.
But then people will start ranting about the rant.
I will be posting more Indian-devRant soon so.. peace till then.

( I bet they don't know about Git/Github too)

Story of onboarding in the age of Corona!

Monday:
Office is big but almost empty, people are working from home. Guy welcoming me says he is not the one supposed to help me(he is sick I'm told) and the rest of the team is not there. The man I'm talking to is this other guys boss. It's OK I think it will work out.

Turns out this guy helping me is actually the CTO so he does not have that much time on his hands. He shows me were to get my computer and desk and hands me documentation to setup some software.

I spend the time before lunch installing linux, setting up git and some other software. CTO checks up on me once.

Then after lunch nothing...I look for him but he is in some meeting. I find some videos by myself labled "onboarding" on the company website. They are OK. I ask my deskmate if he heard what team I will be in. He doesn't know. I sneak out a little early since I have nothing left to do.

Tuesday:
The CTO is now also sick I see in an email when I arrive at the office. Still don't know what team I am in.

I spend the morning reading coding blogs and websites. After lunch I have a meeting. The only one in my calendar. It's about the product software architecture for all new employees. It's good but still no news about what team. I aimlessly read up on some software architecture untill I go home.

Wednesday:
I arrive at the office first, only the receptionist is there. I listen to podcasts until a few more people show up. I ask another guy if he knows what team I'm supposed to be in. He doesn't but laughs and says it was the same when he started last year.

I send out messages on slack looking for anyone that knows...still no one knows. I guess Im in limbo now. Perhaps i should just start making coffee for people or something...

cw: I need a server to put my node backend

me: sure, I'll run a docker container for you

cw: nice, I've never worked with docker but I learn quickly, I'm already reading the Docker file docs

me: no wait, you don't need to learn anything, you'll be inside the container, so you only need an ssh connection and that's it

cw: this Dockerfile stuff is really complicated, it'll take me a while, but it's ok you don't have to worry, I like learning new things

me: you won't need that, just imagine it's a cloud server with Ubuntu installed, you only have to use it, I'll put node, git and ssh there for you

cw: ok got it, I'll have to learn the commands to run the docker, I'm on windows but I can use PowerShell and stuff I'll figure it out

me: ...

cw: ssh is a linux command right? does it have a push or publish option? how do you upload files there

me: ...you can use a ftp client but you'll need ssh to run the node server

cw: ok, I'm almost done with the Dockerfile, I only need to add git and nodejs, I'm starting to understand this thing...

me thinking: yeah keep doing that, you're such a crack, such a quick learner...

This son of a bitch is either a retard or is doing it on purpose and laughing at me the whole time, making my life so miserable, but I'm about to go insane with this dude, I'm proud of how I've been able to control myself, BUT ONE OF THESE DAYS I'LL LOSE MY COOL AND FORCE THIS MOTHERFUCKER TO DRINK A BIG POT OF BOILING, SALTY AND STINKING VOMIT WITH A SIDE OF STEAMING DIARRHEAL GREEN DOG SHIT WITH WHITE CHOCOLATE CHIPS WHILE I PUT MY OLD CRT MONITOR TO GOOD USE BY BEATING HIS FUCKING HEAD WITH IT!!!

when you find a TODO in the code, git blame it, and find out it's been there for five years :(

Hello {Project}, my old friend. I've come to debug you again
Because the scope is softly creeping
Left its seeds while I was developing
And the misery that was planted in my brain
Still remains
Within the sound of silence...

In restless dreams I debugged alone
Narrow file of cobbled code
‘Neath the halo of a desk lamp
I turned my collar to the cold and damp
When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of git checkin
That split the night
And touched the sound of silence

And in the naked light I saw
Ten thousand bugs and maybe more
People coding without asking
People coding without listening
People writing code that they never share
And no one dared
Disturb the sound of silence

Fools, said I, you do not know
{Project} like a cancer grows
Hear my words that I might teach you
Take my arms that I might reach you
But my words, like silent raindrops fell
And echoed in the wells of silence.

And the people bowed and prayed
To the kludgy app they made
And the sign flashed out its warning
In the words that it was forming
And the sign said, the words of the prophets are written on the subway walls
And tenement halls
And whispered in the sounds of silence

<-- Found in my documents, no clue where it's from

Starting a third year computer science course. Lesson 1 of web API production. Git. Lecturer tells us to do a different branch for every commit so it's easy to roll back.

Nice.

You know you're a programmer when you type git instead of gut (good in German) and autocorrect thinks it's ok...

Countless times. Here is two:
- when he said he prefers an external hdd over git
- when he said that git is just a shiny new thing, we young devs use just because it's new
- etc

To my friends in Ireland, stay safe tomorrow, it's probably going to be nasty storm. Good luck and
1. Git commit
2. git push
3. git out

Assigned to a new project team..

Using git, in a creative way. So.. "master" is "dev" branch, usually. Everyone can push their branch to dev server .. so it's "dynamic for us". Production branch is whatever, as long as the branch has the release version. Sometimes, the release comes from "master".. that mean "dev" in normal geek..

That's just Git. The source code is a saturated spagetti of Entity framework and Caliburn. It is littered with antipatterns, especially basebean. Holy Christmas and Easter that baseclass do a lot of stuff that has no place as a base class ..

Fucking frameworks, I'm gonna start to evangelize frameworks as the no1 antipattern.

MS SQL as the main DB, but is dumped to json FILES through a scheduled task to increase read performance on web.

There is a soap endpoint to expose the json files, fml..

I am assuming I was placed here to improve stuff, I have never in my life seen anything like this before.

There is a special place in hell for this repository

Another real-world argument for why I always say git is worth learning properly.

Had to track a really weird bug down today. Had no idea where it came from, how long it'd been in the code and hadn't the foggiest what was causing it. Realistically it could have been introduced any time in the last year or two, and that's tens of thousands of commits in this repo.

Git to the rescue. Knocked up a quick script to test the case in question, fed it into "git bisect run", and 30 seconds later git found the exact (small) commit that caused the issue.

It's a brilliant part of git, yet it seems like almost no-one I know uses it. Some use "git bisect", but using "git bisect run" and passing a script to it seems to be alien to most - yet it's probably my most used tool when it comes to tracking down bugs like these.

Dev: Hay dude , look this page is broken, how long has it been like this.
Me: No? 🤔, Weren't you working on the Database for this yesterday?
Dev: I didn't change anything yet...
Me: Okay, let's do a git bisect and see where this came from.
...After going back in history and checking out like 3 commits.
Dev: It's fine I'll just search for it
Me: 😕, that's what we are doing the bisect for?
Dev: But we've already looked at so many!?
...After some time of convincing, finds good commit, does the bisect and finds offending piece of code. The database details changed.
Me: okay so while it's still pointing to the old database it's working but switch it to the latest one and it breaks. You sure you didn't change anything?
Dev: I didn't do anything.
Me: okay well it seems to me like it must be a database issue, let me know what you find.
10min later...
Dev: Hay dude, soo I found it, I accidentally renamed a table
In my mind: 😲😲😲

I hate working at a company with bad practices like saving database config into git and not making a copy of the database when you intend to work on it, and not edit the f'ing live instance! Not even close to the luxury of migrations.

Working on a project with 2 other students. One of them makes a C# "super class" with 50 fields, and manually creates getters and setters for each and every one. Then he proceeds to write a constructor that accepts 50 parameters, because why not.
I comment on the git commit, telling him that he can just write " get; set; " in C# and that he should model the problem in smaller, more manageable classes ( this class had 270 lines and did everything from displaying data to calculating stuff). Tried to explain to him that OOP works kind of differently from how he did it.
....
His answer: "Yeah, I don't really care. If it works once, it's okay for me".
This after the most beautiful code review I have ever done...

Fml

Linus Torvalds. He created Linux and Git, both used by millions of people. He started to create Linux when he was 21 and still in university. It is currently running on a lot of devices including Android. That is really an accomplishment, to make an operating system is one of the most complex things you can create as a programmer. It is also cool that it's open source and how it is maintained. Both Linux and Git was created because he needed them, he creates things that are useful. He could have earned a lot of money but he cares much more about tools and software than money. I think he is a great person and speaker (and he is from my neighboring country Finland 🙂). I use Git everyday in my work and it makes it so much easier. He is for me without a doubt the best programmer in the world.

1. Needed to access an old SVN backup.
2. Didn't have an SVN client installed.
3. Realised GIT comes with an SVN proxy included.

Cool, I'll just quickly download the repository via SVN.

> git svn init

... git sequentially downloads each of the 1800+ revisions and applies them individually.

It's cool, I didn't want to do anything productive today anyway.

I have just started out on Linux (Ubuntu because I don't know anything (please don't judge me (you're not judging me right?))) and I don't know anything aside from Linux relies on Terminal a lot. The tools are already installed (VSCode, git, etc.) and everything dark-themed. Is there anything I should have in your opinion, and where should I start?

!rant
I've just lost my grandfather last Friday from liver and gallbladder failure. Him being a composer and a musician impacted me a lot as a pianist try-hard. I regret I prioritized my studying for college over him and only visited him twice. But he saw my performance from my parents (they recorded it) and he complimented it, so it's more than enough for me. Rest in peace gramp, and thank you.

So at work with the Macs we use, we have some guy come in after hours to service the Macs, and that means the security risk of leaving our passwords on our desks.

Not being a fan of this I tell my boss, he knows it's a risk and despite that he doesn't want this guy coming in while we're here.

Though my main problem is the Mac guy Steve is arrogant and thinks he's a know it all, and with the software I have on the Mac may end up deleting something important, I have git repo and all but I feel off just letting someone touch my computer without me being there.

I tell my boss about the software and stuff he just says contact Steve and tell him about it, to ignore the software and such, I say alright, I write up an email telling him not to touch the software listed and the folders of software documents (again it's all backed up).

No reply, I tell my boss and he says call him, I call him and he hangs up on me on the second ring!

Not sure if he's busy, but I left him a message, asking if he got my email, no reply and it's coming close to the end of the day (going to service Macs in the weekend)

I'm just not going to leave my info because if this guy can't check emails or even get back to someone why should I bother with this bullshit of risking my work.

From all the info I hear about him and my previous rants he's an arrogant prick who loves Macs.

Can't wait to leave this company, pretty sure leaving my password on my desk is a breach of our own security policy, and since 8-9 people are doing it, it's a major risk.

But he's friends with the CEO so apparently it's fuck our own security policy.

I had just started as an SDE intern, and was fiddling around with the code base.

Me: Hey, can you send me the link to our version control system?
Mentor: Umm, what!?
Me: You know, where we keep our code backup...
Mentor: Hmm, is there a need for that?
Me: Yeah, I mean, my past experience tells me to always backup code, just in case something goes wrong.
Mentor: Ohh, that's easy. I'll teach you how I do it.

So, he comes to my workplace, and does this:
1. Go to your workspace folder.
2. Right click it.
3. Zip it.
4. Open outlook.
5. Compose email.
6. Attach the zip file.
7. Mail to yourself.
8. That's how it's done!

I was like what the hell!?!?! Is this really happening?? And then he started basking in his glory, as if he had taught me some secret hack! Seeing this, I couldn't even get myself to introduce him to git. That was the worst part.

I've been working on implementing a fairly large feature on a project at work--

**Sorry. I should rephrase that**

I've been *trying* to work on implementing a fairly large feature on a project at work.

It's slightly complicated because I'm not as "in the know" with the project as I should be. I get tossed around projects a lot as the only designer+developer so I've got my hands in a lot of buckets... Or git repos I should say... My source tree has a lot of tabs open and each project is run by someone with their own ideologies on how stuff should be done and laid out and what not. Basically jumping between these projects leaves you mildly capable on all of them but not amazing at any of individual one them--

--I digress.

There's a bug I've been trying to fix.
--Stupid simple bug, literally just a casting issue or something but there's so much data in this one object that it's taking a few solid minutes of concentration to figure out which variable is busting it all up. It shouldn't take long to fix...

But it has. It has taken 4 days.

FOUR. DAYS.

...To fix what is basically a null reference exception.

Every time I sit down to work on this bug real quick I get pulled away to do a wireframe or change a flow chart or diagram or colour or print styling.

Every. God. Damn. Time.
4 days. Soon to be 5.

My commits are real low at this point guys.

Please boss man, just let me code...

Somewhere in a lonely break room
There's a guy starting to realize that eternal hell has been unleashed unto him.
It's two a.m.

It's two a.m.
The boss has gone
I'm sitting here waitin'
This desktop's slow
I am getting tired of fixin' all my coworkers' problems
Yeah there's a bug on the loose
Errors in the code
This is unreadable
Rubber ducky can't help
I cannot debug, my whole life spins into a frenzy

Help I'm slippin' into the programming zone
Git push to the prod
Set up a repo
My hard drive just crashed
All my code is gone
Where am I to go
Now that I've broke my distro
Soon you will come to know
When you need Stack Overflow
Soon you will come to know
When you need Stack Overflow

I'm falling down a spiral
Solution unkown
Disgusting legacy, ugly code
Can't get no connection
Can't get through to commit

Well the night weights heavy
On my confused mind
Where's the error on this line
When the CEO comes
He knows damn well
To keep his distance
And he says

Help I'm slippin' into the programming zone
Git push to the prod
Set up a repo
My hard drive just crashed
All my code is gone
Where am I to go
Now that I've broke my distro
Soon you will come to know
When you need Stack Overflow
Soon you will come to know
When you need Stack Overflow
When you need Stack Overflow

When you need Stack Overflow, a ha
When you need Stack Overflow
When you need Stack Overflow, a ha
When you need Stack Overflow

When you need Stack Overflow, a ha
When you need Stack Overflow
When you need Stack Overflow, a ha
When you need Stack Overflow

devCraft {
Closing the minecraft server for a little while!
I'll be adding mods, writing up a perms file, and hosting the pack on git! I'll post a rant with the repo link.
One of our lovely ranters offered a VM to host the server on, so the ip is probably gonna change as well! (i also gotta make an arch bootable USB, and running the server would slow that down lol)
i'll notify you all once it's donevia a rant, like i said. until then, formulate plans, and suggest some developer-related mods for me to add in! (must be 1.7.10)
Currently planned mods are:
- ComputerCraft
- Applied Energistics
- Buildcraft
- Project Red
and a few from whatever you guys suggest. see you then!
}

Why don't designers use git, or at least use version numbers in their files?

Looking at around 20 files in my downloads folder called "final" and it's bloody annoying.

No Microsoft Word, I'm pretty fucking sure it's spelled Git and not Gilt.
#Preparing Code Review Docs

To this day I can't figure out why people still drink the windows koolaid.

It's less secure, slower, bloatier (is that a word?), Comes with ads, intrudes on privacy, etc. People say it's easier to use than Linux, but 99% of what anyone does happens on a chrome based web browser which is the same on all systems!

When it comes to dev, it boggles the mind that people will virtualize a Linux kernel in Windows to use npm, docker, k8s, pip, composer, git, vim, etc. What is Windows doing for you but making your life more complicated? All your favorite browsers and IDEs work on Linux, and so will your commands out of the box.

Maybe an argument can be made for gaming, but that's a chicken an egg scenario. Games aren't built for Linux because the Linux market is too small to be worth supporting, not that the games won't work on it...

... late night coding session ...
... me, tired as hell committing last porting of changes ...
... git refuses my attempt for commit ...
....
$ git vommit -am ........

It's time to go sleep when you vomit instead of commit.

CEO at work has a Mac elitist as a friend who somehow indoctrinated err I mean convinced him to get apple everywhere, now the most common issue is updating Microsoft products on the Mac.....

Mac elitist guys first name is Steve lol no lie, he also services the Macs which he expects to do so when no one is around, oh and did I mention he wants us to leave our passwords on our desks LOL, he doesn't work for the company and I really really don't trust him, glad I have a git repo, and I hope he doesn't delete anything on my PC (very reluctant to leave my password on my desk, so I may just convince everyone that my Mac is fine, which seems like it's doing it's thing)

New webdev job ad in a small town where I live:
"We need a junior to mid level full-stack dev - Python, Flask, Django, ES6, Angular, TypeScript, Git, etc..."
ME:
"Fuck, I tick all the checkboxes! - And it's like the only Python job around here! Yey! I so want to work with Python" excited sends cv and an extremely well crafted cover letter.
Company calls after few days:
"Hi! So we'd like to invite you for interview. Some of the tech we work in: Shopify, Wix, and SquareSpace. We're also trying to get into some other frameworks and started looking at Magento and Wordpress.... It's not really much coding, mostly content management...."

What the actual fuck!?!

I still agreed to interview...

Me and my friend (let's call him Tom) have done tons of projects before and got some decent knowledge, but we got a dude (Bob) working with us on that final project of Uni and he doesn't know what Git is nor what frameworks are so we chose CodeIgniter ONLY to make it easy for him.

2 month after starting the project and getting like half of the work done (mainly me and Tom) Bob 'kind of' learned PHP, CodeIgniter and Git so he wanted to contribute because the project manager will review all the commits done weekly.

So Bob did some HTML (what now?) and wanted to push it on the repo and even using Gitkraken as opposed to the Git CLI he managed to merge two f*** branches, and when he doesn't mess up the repo he totally ignores the files' structure of the project and makes his own thing.

Worst thing is, when Tom tries (I gave up a long time ago) to teach him something or to give him advice he's all like "Oh okay" "Yeah" "Got it!" but he doesn't understand anything and he won't admit it ! It's like talking to a wall...

Super stressed.
What I did is:
1. git pull --rebase
2. Forgot to build to check if everything is working after pulling new changes
3. git push
4. Now, I realized I forgot to implement a method of the recently changed interface.
It's a production code. Not a joke. And was my first push to prod and I messed it up.
Sad life. Fixing it. Senior Devs must be crazy for my silly mistake.

Ok... I have been desperately trying to control myself from pointing it out to my pm that it's pronounced as "GIT" not "JIT". If he says that one more time, I might not be able to control myself...

Project Owner: We don't need Git, it's a waste of time to set it up!

Yeah, whatever you say old man...

boss: wish there was a way to go back to older versions..
me: there is, it's called git, I can show you how to use it!
boss: nah we will just keep using the sync on Dreamweaver
me:....the fuck?!

I don't know who this "you" guy is on all of these git blames, but he's a real asshole for writing all of these bugs.

Advice to new coders? I got multiple, unrelated to each other.

1. Start with the FUCKING BASICS !! Invest some time with fundamentals, don't just directly jump on frameworks like React or Angular.

2. You and everyone else are always going to blame your technical skills if you're unable to land a job. But you have to realize that is not always the case. Your attitude and energy towards the interviewer plays a vital role too.

3. You're gonna have to take a hit to your salary expectations starting out. It's just the way this industry works.

4. Think of yourselves as a freelancer working for companies. Those who call themselves Employees get stagnant and dependent on their company pretty fast.

5. Your objective is either to learn or earn. If there is both, amazing job. If there is either it's good enough. If there is none, time to jump ship !!

6. HR is there to protect the company from you not the other way around. Be better at spotting crocodile tears.

7. Try to find a WFH job over a WFO job. If you have an urgency, then either works but keep applying to WFH jobs. It's the best thing.

8. Focus on what you're building instead of what you're building it with. Devs have a tendency to fight over what tech stack they should use instead of focussing on the larger picture.

9. You're gonna get overwhelmed at some point when you're gonna get terms thrown at you like XML, JSON, API, Figma, Git, SOAP, REST. Don't worry though you'll get there.

10. You should know how to google your solutions, like really. This is like 60% of the job.

At my first job I had a senior who took backups of code by zipping it and uploading on Google drive. Once I told him why don't you use git, he said it's not as secured as Google.
I left the job one month later

Does git use git for it's development and version control? 🤔

I was asked to look into a site I haven't actively developed since about 3-4 years. It should be a simple side-gig.
I was told this site has been actively developed by the person who came after me, and this person had a few other people help out as well.
The most daunting task in my head was to go through their changes and see why stuff is broken (I was told functionality had been removed, things were changed for the worse, etc etc).
I ssh into the machine and it works. For SOME reason I still have access, which is a good thing since there's literally nobody to ask for access at the moment.
I cd into the project, do a git remote get-url origin to see if they've changed the repo location. Doesn't work. There is no origin. It's "upstream" now. Ok, no biggie. git remote get-url upstream. Repo is still there. Good.
Just to check, see if there's anything untracked with git status. Nothing. Good.
What was the last thing that was worked on? git log --all --decorate --oneline --graph. Wait... Something about the commit message seems familiar. git log. .... This is *my* last commit message. The hell?
I open the repo in the browser, login with some credentials my browser had saved (again, good because I have no clue about the password). Repo hasn't gotten a commit since mine. That can't be right.
Check branches. Oh....Like a dozen new branches. Lots of commits with text that is really not helpful at all. Looks like they were trying to set up a pipeline and testing it out over and over again.
A lot of other changes including the deletion of a database config and schema changes. 0 tests. Doesn't seem like these changes were ever in production.
...
At least I don't have to rack my head trying to understand someone else's code but.... I might just have to throw everything that was done into the garbage. I'm not gonna be the one to push all these changes I don't know about to prod and see what breaks and what doesn't break
.
I feel bad for whoever worked on the codebase after me, because all their changes are now just a waste of time and space that will never be used.

Mom: it's time to go!
Me:
$ git commit -m "I have to go"
$ git push
I'm ready!

Looking at git blame, I think I broke a feature 8 months ago. Not obviously broken, just one of the data fields is empty in one of our calculations.

I don't know if it's better or worse that nobody noticed...

Worst coding interruption?

The fire alarm going off.
That's when you learn how quickly it's possible to git commit and push

git add -A
git commit -m "fix bunch of shit.'
git push origin master
**98 files changed

hours later
me: omg I forgot to change the hardcoded IP now it's getting 404

git add -A
git commit --amend
git push origin master --force

Don't you just love it when the lead developer/project manager comes in and totally revamps your code even though it does the same exact thing as it was written before? And then when it's not working he blames you because it's in GIT as your commit...

"We don't use a VCS like git, what are you opinions on this?" This is great in my opinion. You get to see some people sheepishly agree and say it's fine and try back it up, or people put valid points why they think it's wrong. You can start to gauge a person's personality after a few of those kinds of questions.

I practice what I call "Aggressive Oriented Programming" or AOP.

Whenever I'm investigating a bad bug, working on a project that I really hate, or dealing with messy code written by a messy developer, I often find myself resorting to an [internal] state of violence.

It's not like I scream and smash my screen (although sometimes I want to). It usually consists of a few git blames and some curse words in print statements for debugging. This is just my way to vent.

Not exactly a dev story, but an annoying experience overall. So, I was going to a Starbucks near me, I was too lazy to drive to the nearest shop that sells coffee, so I just went here. I was beginning my work (updating one of my old programs to a usable level). I was downloading some libraries from github for the project, as a middle-aged woman walks behind me. She looks at my laptop, and sees a terminal screen with git clone running. Now, I can understand, that if you aren't proficient at technology, a terminal can look suspicious. But she straight up said: "Stop hacking our passwords, it's illegal!". At this point, she walks over and asks the manager to come look. The manager comes, and calls their "IT guy". The supposed IT guy comes over, chuckles a bit and walks away. The manager proceeds to kick me out, and give me a warning to not come again.

That satisfaction when you're teaching Python and git to a friend, and not only she actually understands things right away, but she tells you: "It's ok if you don't know this, I'll try to look it up and figure it out by myself".

Every now and then, the world doesn't seem such a dark and gloomy place :)

After 10 years of thinking of getting into gamedev, I just joined a team game jam and it's going somewhere.

4 months ago I wrote a rant about how difficult it was for me to get into gamedev.

I guess I finally started because:
a) I'm not doing this alone
b) Another person takes care of the art

Regarding "a", computing, programming can be a very lonely task. I realized how much I missed the college years where I was paired up with other people to do something

There's something magical about being in a team.
You may not be a fan of your mates personalities. You may even hate their guts.

But working on something together, when everyone does the thing they should do, when things just flow... it's just magical.

When that happens, "all the bullshit goes away"™, and it's just you and your team sharing the same hope.

As for "b", I think I realized that, at least for my way of thinking, art (even in an initial, rudimentary state) is what ends up creating a game.

While I always tried to do it the other way around, first the game, then the art.

Maybe now I could dabble into pixel art and then use that as the thing that would define the game.

I was also an emotional mess for most of my 20s (and still kinda am, but not that much), so I guess that made getting into gamedev hard too.

Now, here's the negative part: the guy that does the art (and also codes) sucks balls at communicating and at git.

He takes a shitload of time to respond, doesn't address the things I state are important, doesn't join the damn trello, sometimes gives me some sass on his comments.
And he accidentally overwrote my changes on git three times.

The good thing is that he acknowledges his fuckups and fixes them.

I'm not really mad though. I'm almost 30, he's 20 or so.

When I was 20 I was a goddamn mess.
And it's just a week, and the pleasure of working with someone is far greater.

Boss: some consultants worked on this feature extending some legacy code
Boss: it's 90% done
Boss: they used FTP. It uses iframes and we fired them when they couldn't get the frontend modules working in sync with the backend.
Me: git checkout -b herewegoagain
git diff-tree --no-commit-id --name-only -r 666w3wl4d
*copy output list of files to sublime text 3; select all lines; add to each:
gitk --follow [filename] > src/.notes/herewegoagain/[filename].diff
*examines....
Me: It's -10% done. you'll know I'm almost done when I enter the fugue state. You'll find me at this address. Give me this USB stick and a 4 pack of redbull and I'll do the merge.

Thank god it's Friday, y'all know what what means; git push -f

> Startup: ok listen up, we got this super cool thing we want to do with Twilio. Doesn't get any easier: some calls to book a restaurant, you ask for booking data and save that on some db.
> iHateForALiving: I'm on it. We got a couple weeks of development, never worked with Twilio, but should be easy enough
> Startup: Hold it big guy, we can't just write code like this. There's this OTHER developer with a super cool framework he wrote himself, it supports OAuth2 and multitenancy, written in Huskell, microservices to authenticate several apps all working concurrently in our environment, some orchestrator, cloud computing on AWS, you're going to love it. There's this Postman project with 200-something calls (the ones I need for my project, one and only consumer for those APIs, are 5 including the login)
> iHateForALiving: You are aware you'll have approximately six clients and they'll pay some 30 bucks each per month, aren't you?
> Startup: You don't understand, this infrastructure is CRITICAL for the future of our company
> ffwd 6 months
> iHateForALiving: guys we had this 2 weeks project and it's taking months, I'm ready, what is going on there?
> Startup: someone killed our DB, the OTHER developer pushed on git the access credentials :(

THE FULL MOON IS DRAWING NEAR AND THE FUCKING WERECODERS STRIKE AGAIN!

Had to integrate legacy code into the new framework.

Me: Where does the virtual sensor come from?
Colleague: It's in the docs.
Me: That step is not in the docs.
Colleague: It is, look into the file $FILE.
Me: Yeah, it's empty :D
Colleague: Nope, it's not.
Me: See, empty (pointing to laptop screen)
Colleague: Why is it empty? (keyboard typing...) Damnit, too many git remotes in my repo :D

Working in a non-IT department makes working as a developer really painful if the whole organisation is set up to be restricted with software installs or using specific hardware etc.

For context, I work in a marketing team with literally myself and one other developer, and some other people in a completely separate organisation, physically separated. We're responsible for overhauling the website and associated sites as part of a transformation project.

Had to use my own, shitty 2013 macbook to run XAMPP because I'd have to file a software request to IT for anything remotely developer related (even trying to run Git, Node, or Python or anything is a pain because I can't actually install anything permanently or to an actual drive as it's all network accounts).

I'm not asking for equipment/access because I'm an elitist bastard, I'm doing it so I can actually do my job.

God forbid I want to use a text editor, or some kind of build tool to manage our codebase better than just cowboy coding it without using my own device for work matters.

So, I'm stuck...

I'm very passionate about technology. Coding and development and soldering together some raspberry pi or arduino project gets me all swept up in a false sense of belonging & sense of purpose. It's just always been my biggest passion...

As well as it has simultaneously been an elusive dream, driven away by circumstances and some pretty shitty decision making on my end... But, it's always a recurring theme and source of illumination through some dark moments... Abandonment of my dreams isn't an option.... I spent 10+ years on heroin and somehow still have the ability to dredge up some hope, surely I can finally get my foot/hand/ball sack in the door of my dreams... right??

Anyways, to sum up my ability in regard to technology/coding etc.... I'm a highly motivated and passionate Beginner-intermediate level tech enthusiast with a little html, css, Java, markdown/git know how, advanced soldering/PC building ability... With a high need to remain studious and get my ass balls deep in some computuh' learnin' circles.

In all seriousness, I really would like to be graciously provided with some communities and groups of folks that would assist me upon my path, and possibly ways I could slide into some sort of tech based career/job while amassing my IT abilities.

I am willing, but incapable of starting off in the right direction & in need of some guidance to firmly trod on towards my goals...

PS: I'm totally not a 32 year old man desperately in need of some guidance and reassurance... cause that'd make me some kinda loser or something... pfffft... I won't be 32 until 06/08.... so all is well and good 👍

Thanks in advance peeps. Later!

1) Read the wiki on git. I probably have enough shorthands and test methods that you won't need much other shit to debug issues.

2) when debugging, remember that if it is there, there's a good reason why I put it there.

3) commented-out code is probably useful for maintenance. I left it there for a good reason. 😛

4) chances are whatever I wrote, was the state of the art at the time I wrote it. There might be better ways to do it now tho.

5) I always work modular. First, understand the structure. (probably also documented on wiki) DO NOT fuck up the structure. If you change it, you document it.

6) If you feel I wrote shit, it's probably because management annoyed the living shit out of me. Pun intended.

7) Your confusion is normal. I don't do dumb shit.

What were some of your "OH MY GOD I'M AN AWESOME CODE WIZARD!" moments?

For example, I can remember two or three:
One was when I, with only cursory knowledge of C, never having worked with it but having been exposed to it (and having lots of experience with C# therefore familiar with the c-family syntax), took 5 minute look at a source code and pointed out a bug that the student working on it was trying to solve for the past 2 hours. Sadly, I don't remember what the bug was anymore.

Second one was on reddit, someone posted to gamedev group a 2minute video from his voxel+ai framework he was working on, I watched it, and without any idea what it's written in, or how, I was like "you seem to be dropping frames in a pretty regular manner unrelated to anything I see happening on the screen. You're creating too much garbage on frame-by-frame basis (probably while your AI is exploring what to do), look into object pooling, it'll help".

And the guy responded in a few hours like "by gosh, you're right! thank you! and what do you think about the source code?" (he linked git repo below the video.

And I was like OMG I'M A MAGE, I DIDN'T EVEN CLICK THE REPO LINK, ONLY NOW AFTERWARDS, AND yeah, it's c++ so sadly nothing for me, but OMG I JUST WROTE THE FIRST THING THAT CAME TO MY MIND, DIDN'T EXPECT IT TO BE CORRECT, I'M AWESOME.

=D and the feeling stayed with me for about two days.

(If it's not clear yet, it's perfectly okay, in fact, required, to brag about yourself in answering this question ;) )

rant & question

Last year I had to collaborate to a project written by an old man; let's call him Bob. Bob started working in the punch cards era, he worked as a sysadmin for ages and now he is being "recycled" as a web developer. He will retire in 2 years.

The boss (that is not a programmer) loves Bob and trusts him on everything he says.

Here my problems with Bob and his code:
- he refuses learning git (or any other kind of version control system);
- he knows only procedural PHP (not OO);
- he mixes the presentation layer with business logic;
- he writes layout using tables;
- he uses deprecated HTML tags;
- he uses a random indentation;
- most of the code is vulnerable to SQL injection;
- and, of course, there are no tests.
- Ah, yes, he develops directly on the server, through a SSH connection, using vi without syntax highlighting.

In the beginning I tried to be nice, pointing out just the vulnerabilities and insisting on using git, but he ignored all my suggestions.

So, since I would have managed the production server, I decided to cheat: I completely rewrote the whole application, keeping the same UI, and I said the boss that I created a little fork in order to adapt the code to our infrastructure. He doesn't imagine that the 95% of the code is completely different from the original.

Now it's time to do some changes and another colleague is helping. She noticed what I did and said that I've been disrespectful in throwing away the old man clusterfuck, because in any case the code was working. Moreover he will retire in 2 years and I shouldn't force him to learn new things [tbh, he missed at least last 15 years of web development].

What would you have done in my place?

Damn it! today I learnt that GitHub has a tool called Hub - "an extension to command-line git that helps you do everyday GitHub tasks without ever leaving the terminal".

It's been around for 10 years.

And here I was clicking on the link that was sent by the remote after every push to open a pull request 🤦‍♂️
It even comes with vim syntax support for pull requests.

I'm never leaving the terminal to do things on the GitHub web interface anymore

One of our customers asked us (a while back) to create a nice interface for their label printer (preferably integrated in their web cms)

So we started developing and after two weeks (we were almost done) they canceled the request, payed for the worked ours and said that another company was willing to do it faster (even though we were almost done)

So that was about half a year ago, meanwhile I've migrated to Ubuntu

Today I heard we have to do it again because the other 'faster' company wasn't faster, and didn't live up to the expectations

I do not have the code anymore... My colleagues also do not have the code anymore... It was removed to keep our coded clean, not sure if it's on git (the guy who workers on the part that's has a repo doesn't always commits...)

I've worked on on a standard node js script (which I didn't create a repo for because the project was canceled)

... Amazing

If git was written in english or in ancient greek it made no difference. It's everything counter-intuitive and you have just to learn commands by heart and google the errors. Because nothing makes sense, even if you know how it works and you used it for years

Friend1 (being lewd): I'll merge you in to my git repository
Me: When you try to merge but she has her special days of the month it's called a merge conflict
Friend2: It's not a merge without a little blood

I think that two criterias are important:

- don't block my productivity
- author should have his userbase in mind

1) Some simple anti examples:

- Windows popping up a big fat blue screen screaming for updates. Like... Go suck some donkey balls you stupid shit that's totally irritating you arsehole.
- Graphical tools having no UI concept. E.g. Adobes PDF reader - which was minimalized in it's UI and it became just unbearable pain. When the concept is to castrate the user in it's abilities and call the concept intuitive, it's not a concept it's shit. Other examples are e.g. GEdit - which was severely massacred in Gnome 3 if I remember correctly (never touched Gnome ever again. I was really put off because their concept just alienated me)
- Having an UI concept but no consistency. Eg. looking at a lot of large web apps, especially Atlassian software.
Too many times I had e.g. a simple HTML form. In menu 1 you could use enter. In menu 2 Enter does not work. in another menu Enter works, but it doesn't submit the form it instead submits the whole page... Which can end in clusterfuck.
Yaaayyyy.
- Keyboard usage not possible at all.
It becomes a sad majority.... Pressing tab, not switching between form fields. Looking for keyboard shortcuts, not finding any. Yes, it's a graphical interface. But the charm of 16 bit interfaces (YES. I'm praising DOS interfaces) was that once you memorized the necessary keyboard strokes... You were faster than lightning. Ever seen e.g. a good pharmacist, receptionist or warehouse clerk... most of the software is completely based on short keyboard strokes, eg. for a receptionist at a doctor for the ICD code / pharmaceutical search et cetera.
- don't poop rainbows. I mean it.
I love colors. When they make sense. but when I use some software, e.g. netdata, I think an epilepsy warning would be fair. Too. Many. Neon. Colors. -.-

2) It should be obvious... But it's become a burden.

E.g. when asked for a release as there were some fixes... Don't point to the install from master script. Maybe you like it rolling release style - but don't enforce it please. It's hard to use SHA256 hash as a version number and shortening the hash might be a bad idea.

Don't start experiments. If it works - don't throw everything over board without good reasons. E.g. my previous example of GEdit: Turning a valuable text editor into a minimalistic unusable piece of crap and calling it a genius idea for the sake of simplicity... Nope. You murdered a successful product.
Gnome 3 felt like a complete experiment and judging from the last years of changes in the news it was an rather unsuccessful one... As they gave up quite a few of their ideas.

When doing design stuff or other big changes make it a community event or at least put a poll up on the github page. Even If it's an small user base, listen to them instead of just randomly fucking them over.
--
One of my favorite projects is a texteditor called Kate from KDE.

It has a ton of features, could even be seen as a small IDE. The reason I love it because one of the original authors still cares for his creation and ... It never failed me. I use Kate since over 20 years now I think... Oo

Another example is the git cli. It's simple and yet powerful. git add -i is e.g. a thing I really really really love. (memorize the keyboard shortcuts and you'll chunk up large commits faster than flash.

Curl. Yes. The (http) download tool. It's author still cares. It's another tool I use since 20 years. And it has given me a deep insight of how HTTP worked, new protocols and again. It never failed me. It is such a fucking versatile thing. TLS debugging / performance measurements / what the frigging fuck is going on here. Take curl. Find it out.

My worst enemies....

Git based clients. I just hate them. Mostly because they fill the niche of explaining things (good) but completely nuke the learning of git (very bad). You can do any git action without understanding what you do and even worse... They encourage bad workflows.
I've seen great devs completely fucking up git and crying because they had really no fucking clue what git actually does. The UI lead them on the worst and darkest path imaginable. :(

Atlassian products. On the one hand... They're not total shit. But the mass of bugs and the complete lack of interest of Atlassian towards their customers and the cloud movement.... Ouch. Just ouch.

I had to deal with a lot of completely borked up instances and could trace it back to a bug tracking entry / atlassian, 2 - 3 years old with the comment: vote for this, we'll work on a Bugfix. Go fuck yourself you pisswads.

Microsoft Office / Windows. Oh boy.
I could fill entire days of monologues.
It's bad, hmkay?

XEN.
This is not bad.
This is more like kill it before it lays eggs.
The deeper I got into XEN, the more I wanted to lay in a bathtub full of acid to scrub of the feelings of shame... How could anyone call this good?!?????

I promised myself I wouldnt program or study after midnight.

And here I am, making flash cards for git like a total dork, and it's almost 1 am.

"let's use git for this game jam"

Wait! Don't go! I love git and use it on every project I work on! You'll have to hear me out here.

This was 4 years ago, at my first Global Game Jam. Every jam and game I'd worked on up to that point, I was the only Dev; no need for git, as backups were more than enough. I joined a group with high hopes for the game jam, with three coders and a proper art team.

The entire jam was "1 step forward 2 steps back", as git somehow constantly overwrote code as fast as we could write it.

By the end of the jam we barely had anything to show for our hard work. The takeaway isn't even about git. It's simply to never work with other people. Git is a great protocol but it can't stop people from accidentally fucking other people over. Every jam since, I've worked on my own and had a far better time of it.

git push --force

Because I always push after every commit, when the slightest fuckup happens I just hard reset, commit again, and force push...

...even if it's just a typo in the commit message

Git is distributed. What's on gitlab it's also on my 3 different machines. So I have 3 backups for the code. Not such a big deal except issues and PRs.

On today's episode of "Being the Company Git Guy":

"Good Day jallman112, can you ping me when you have a second? I'm having issues with merging our last branch back to MASTER in GIT. It's forcing me to resolve 400+ conflicts"

Sure. I'll get right back to you.

In a second.

Promise.

Oh my motherfucking God...
How the fuck can a dumb IDE be so fucking slow? I entered the office at 8:15. And I am still unable to checkout a motherfucking previous version of an android app in git and get Android studio to build it, because the fucking gradle is so damn slow it freezes the GUI. WHAT. THE. FUCK. Android studio get you shit together and maybe, just maybe don't be such a dick!!!

You need 5 min to open that project and another 10 to build it ONLY FOR ME TO REALIZE THAT I HAVE TO REPEAT THAT WHOLE PROCEDURE BECAUSE I NEED A DIFFERENT APP VERSION FROM THE GIT REPO FUCK YOU YOU SHITFACED STUPID COCKSUCKING CUNT, SHIT FUCK ARRRRGH!!!

Sincerely,
Me.

Edit: now it's 9:35 btw

Recently I flashed Android 9 (Pie) on my Nexus, but to this day I still haven't logged into Google from it. One reason is because I don't know my password and I didn't git clone my password store yet (where it's contained). Another reason is because I want to reclaim my privacy and not be a data battery for a Matrix of convenience that feeds itself with my personal information. Eh, it sorta works out I guess. Yalp is an amazing alternative to the Play Store, and even offers its own shadow accounts to use along with Google Play.

One problem though, while I've noticed that I could log in with my own account to get all my premium apps (couple hundred euros worth, so not easy to just discard) it apparently violates Google Play's ToS to do so from a third-party app. So I'm a bit hesitant to do that. Do you know of any viable alternative way to preserve my privacy yet install, keep and have validated those premium apps? I could download them from e.g. BlueStacks and export the apk's, but that'd be tedious and wouldn't be able to get those apps validated on my phone unless I log into Google there as well (which kinda defeats the purpose). Any suggestions?

Both Conservancy and the Git project are aware that the initial branch name, ‘master’, is offensive to some people and we empathize with those hurt by the use of that term.

Offensive my butt. It's not like any developer alive today had experienced the life of a slave. It's all in the past. Should I get offended by imperial Japanese flag?

Now I know this may cause people to hiss uncontrollably but it's Visual Studio 2017 for me
It's clean, with my low end configuration it's fast enough, maybe my projects aren't large enough tho, Microsoft is making efforts with the git integration, I really enjoy it as an everyday tool

!rant

git bisect is my new favorite git feature!
Just Google it! It's sooo awesome!

Just discovered Insomnia Designer, I freaking love it and it's git integration. This is exactly what we developers needed for years 🥳

We've got this legacy PHP system that doesn't really run anywhere else than on it's server. It's not configured with git, and there's no pipeline. Just plain old SSH. How would you go about managing it?

Just a little poll for you guys :)

Do you comment your code during the development or when it's done?

Do you keep track of the documentation during the development or after?

Do you use Git only for source control or also to work from multiple places and keep the code up to date?

Do you sh*tcode on purpose (or don't make any effort to clean it) when it's not for yourself, or not for something you value much?

If you have any other strange habit, feel free to mention it :)

I'm learning nginx and it's simplying the way I think about web projects.

I used to think that when I used a server side framework, then that should be the master and all should go through it. Noob me.

I used to put client side projects (like create-react-app of vue-cli projects) right inside the server side project.

But with nginx you can just route subpaths to different places, then instead of having, let's say, the react project inside rails, they would be in separate git projects.

In fact, I no longer need to restrict myself to a single server framework.

I love several aspects of rails. I love several others of node. And if I need multithreaded performance, I'd very much use something like phoenix or go.

Again, with nginx, you setup subpaths with the `location` directive in the same server and voila, a no CORS setup, cookies shared and homogenous versatile website.

I think the reason why git beginners have a hard time with it is because the api is a bit untuitive.

For example: if you want to "unstage" staged changes, you run git reset, and if you want to "delete" those changes from your working copy, you git checkout those files.

But then, you find out that you can do all of that if you git add . and git reset --hard.
So you're like "huh..."

And then you discover that if you end the resethard with a branch name/commit id then you also make current branch point to the commit or that branch/commit (respectively).
So you're like "huh..."

And also if you add a commit id or branch name to git checkout, you change the current branch to specified/enter detached state with HEAD pointing to that commit (respectively).

Oh and you don't use git branch to create branches, you use git checkout -b because it's a lot shorter.

So here's a rundown: git reset mutates things related to files, but also mutates things related to branches.
git checkout also mutates things related to files and mutates things related to branches too (in a diff way). Also, creates new branches.

I don't think this is intuitive. We users use the same commands for different purposes with just a different flag.
Commands shouldn't mutate different types of things. But don't composite commands (as in, "smart" commands that mutate different things) shoudln't be a flag in an existing command, it should be a single new command of its own.

Maybe if I reread the internals of git now, I'll be able to disgest the dozens of technical terms they throw at you (they are many). And in my mind, the api will cognitively fit to the explanations.

Here's another one that feels weird too.
If you want to make your changes start on top of someone else's commit, you do git rebase.
But git rebase -i can be used for that, and also to delete, modify changes or message of, reorder or combine previous commits of the current branch.

Maybe the reason why several things we do overlap with the same commands is because they internally do similar things, and while not separating those commands might make it less intuitive, it makes them more sensible? i dunno...

disclaimer: I'm not setting this opinion in stone though, and am aware that git was created by one of the most infuential programmers.

Fuck pep8 in general. Fuck harder anything to do with line limits. Fuck with a rusty spatula those who tie it into their git precommits or CI tests.

What's that, it's 2018 and even the shittiest walmart-tier computers have 1080p OR BETTER at a 16:9 aspect ratio?

"lol, 80 character line limit."

Eat a bucket of rancid dicks.

Oh, and since we're forcing you to be so economical with your characters, we're going to force four space tabs. Yknow, rather than simple single tab characters, which could mean everyone can set their preferred level of spacing without bloating the code with whitespace.

Because, yknow, it's entirely reasonable to chew up 1/8 of a line because you're editing a function inside a class definition. God Almighty forbid you try to do a for loop inside that function! Fuck you!

"Oh but you can't have two editors or terminals open side by side without that limit!"

BULL FUCKING SHIT. Here's my shitty 1280x1024 display on my shitty computer with two Sublime editors open side by side. You'll notice the break is at 100 characters. You'll notice I don't have to scroll horizontally to do two things at once. You'll notice I even have room for COMMENTS!

If your code standards require you to make your code *less* readable and *less* clear and take up *more* space to accomplish the same tasks, YOUR CODE STANDARDS SUCK!

Enough with this stupid meme. We're not in the 80s anymore and it's high time to start fucking acting like it.

Saw Atom 1.18 integrating github into the editor. It works nice feeling very excited thinking how it's gonna make things more efficient.
...
*Continues using terminal git cause he is too lazy for change.*

The CTO has admin on the git repo and while we all have to have 2 other people review our pull requests. This guy will just go make a pr and merge it without review. It's not like its perfect code either. I will be going behind him and finding weird shit that he did days later and then go check the git blame. Yup its another one of his had to push it right now without review moments.

Hiring a third party to help us with something...
Third party: yeah okay, we know what we need. Can we get access to your git repo
Me: sure, I'll make sure you'll get it
(To the admins): hey can you get them access to our git server?
Admins: did they sign the personal data processing contract?
Me: oh they won't work with any personal data. It's a dev server and they only need access to the source code. And the usual contracts and NDAs are already done
Admins: well we still need the other one.

... Sure. Why not. Just delays the start of the process for... Like a week and a half until that useless bit of paper has passed through all the necessary departments. Not like time's an issue. Right?

I know it's not recommended to write git commit messages in past tense, but it makes more sense to me to use it. Maybe I'll change as I grow and learn more in the programmer world, but as for now, I'm going to be a rebel and ignore convention😎

Do you know what a meat proxy is? It's when you work as a consultant for a company, and the company doesn't give you credentials to deploy, debug, or interact in any way with your code. You then have to work through the sysadmin, while telling him how to go through every single step, every git pull, every line of code to edit. Kill me

We had 1 Android app to be developed for charity org for data collection for ground water level increase competition among villages.

Initial scope was very small & feasible. Around 10 forms with 3-4 fields in each to be developed in 2 months (1 for dev, 1 for testing). There was a prod version which had similar forms with no validations etc.

We had received prod source, which was total junk. No KT was given.

In existing source, spelling mistakes were there in the era of spell/grammar checking tools.

There were rural names of classes, variables in regional language in English letters & that regional language is somewhat known to some developers but even they don't know those rural names' meanings. This costed us at great length in visualizing data flow between entities. Even Google translate wasn't reliable for this language due to low Internet penetration in that language region.

OOP wasn't followed, so at 10 places exact same code exists. If error or bug needed to be fixed it had to be fixed at all those 10 places.

No foreign key relationships was there in database while actually there were logical relations among different entites.

No created, updated timestamps in records at app side to have audit trail.

Small part of that existing source was quite good with Fragments, MVP etc. while other part was ancient Activities with business logic.

We have to support Android 4.0 to 9.0 of many screen sizes & resolutions without any target devices issued to us by the client.

Then Corona lockdown happened & during that suddenly client side professionals became over efficient.

Client started adding requirements like very complex validation which has inter-entity dependencies. Then they started filing bugs from prod version on us.

Let's come to the developers' expertise,
2 developers with 8+ years of experience & they're not knowing how to resolve conflicts in git merge which were created by them only due to not following git best practice for coding like only appending new implementation in existing classes for easy auto merge etc.

They are thinking like handling click events is called development.

They don't want to think about OOP, well structured code. They don't want to re-use code mostly & when they copy paste, they think it's called re-use.

They wanted to follow old school Java development in memory scarce Android app life cycle in end user phone. They don't understand memory leaks, even though it's pin pointed by memory leak detection tools (Leak canary etc.).

Now 3.5 months are over, that competition was called off for this year due to Corona & development is still ongoing.

We are nowhere close to completion even for initial internal QA round.

On top of this, nothing is billable so it's like financial suicide.

Remember whatever said here is only 10% of what is faced.

- An Engineering lead in a half billion dollar company.

*spends 2 hours actually coding and working on the project*
*remembers hasn't made any commit*
Welp, guess it's time to do the git shit.

It's sometimes really anxiety inducing thinking that all data could be gone, if somebody decides to kill/discontinue/crash [see gitlab shitting 6 hours of data due to fucked backup strategy and shitty seperation of servers] your account/service, be it server, git-repos, backups, chrome syncs, games, music, sim card, ..

But there's simply no way of having a backup of absolutely everything (ignore DRM) - especially automated and abstracted away from you, so you don't have to do all that shit yourself

Used a starter to scaffold a new project. Have never used that starter before but it has more than 1400 starts on Github.

Two days after.... so far so good. The created project structure used some tools I haven't used before, some are good, others are not so good, but anyway I am towards the first release of my codes. I have done countless 'npm run build', 'npm run test', 'npm run fix', etc., but.... my fault, I haven't committed once since starting the project, thinking I would commit when the next function is implemented, next test case passed.... after all, what could go wrong anyway?

Finally, one last test case passed, I think I will commit and run 'npm publish'.... but wait, had a glimpse of the scripts section in package.json, there's a command named 'all'. An voice came out of nowhere was talking to my subconscious mind, "all.... build, lint, prettier, test..... yeah you should run all... it's another build script, the worst you can get is just some harmless error messages.....", and my fingers typed 'npm run all'...

Time stopped for a few seconds, file structure in project explorer was shifting, files & folders were disappearing & appearing, what's happening... and I looked at the 'all' script closely for the first time....

WHAT THE HELL, WHO SHOULD PUT 'git reset --hard' IN A BUILD SCRIPT WITHOUT ANY PROMPT????!!!!!!!

MY PLAN WAS TO COMMIT AND GO TO SLEEP, IT'S 1AM NOW!!! WHERE CAN I RECOVER THE LOST FILES????

"You obviously nerfed something, it's broken now and it wasn't last patch!"

*git log shows nothing changed in 9 months*

When players know more about your code than your version control does...

I started my actual gig as CTO of construction group (Innovation Hub) a year ago. And it was a hell of a ride, implementing kind of a scrum-ban for project management, XP, peer-reviews, a git-flow, git commit message formats, linters, unit testing, integration tests, etc...
And it's the fun part because with the CIO we had to drive the board to do A LOT of changes in their IT/Innovation drive.

But in one year there is a lot of KPI that went up :
* Deployment: When I arrived it took three stressful days to deploy a new version of one application, once a month. Today we do it every week, and it takes three annoying hours.
* We had no test. NOTHING! Today we have 85% code coverage for the unit test, and automatic integration tests run by our CI server every day.
* We had almost no documentation. Today our code is our documentation (it automatically extracted and versioned).
* We had 0 add value in the use of git. With commit messages as "dev", "asked task", inside jokes and a lot of "fix" and "changes". Today we have a useful git, and we even use it to create our deploy changelogs (and it's only mildly annoying!).
* More important, the team is happy! They get their purpose, see betterment in their tech mastery. They started doing conception, applicative architecture, presentations, having fun.

There is still a LOT of bad things we are still working on, and trying to solve (support workflow and betterment). But seeing what they already did, I'm so proud of my TEAM! I'm a fucking asshole, workaholic, "just do it" kind of guy. But they managed to achieve so much. Fucking PROUD!!

Commiting in git is like commiting in real life. It's hard to undo.

So.. I'm giving one of my employers webapps a visual refresher, new company branding and whatnot.

And then I stumbled onto a check that is not returning what anybody expects, and, well , I'm busy fixing things, yeah..? so I go digging.. 🤔

```
function isDefined(obj) {
return !(typeof obj === "undefined") || obj !== null;
}
```

Here's the fun part, these particular lines have been in the code base since before 2017, which is when my Git history starts, because that's when we migrated projects from Visual SourceSafe 6 over to Git. Yes, you read that right. They were still using VSS in 2017.

I've begged and pleaded with my last 3 bosses to let us thrown this piece of shit out our second story window and rewrite it properly. But no, we don't have time to rewrite, so we must fix what we have instead.

I lost 4 hours of my life earlier today, tracking down another error that has been silently swallowed by a handler with its "console.log" call commented out, only to find that it's always been like that, and it's an "expected error". 🤦

Please, just fucking kill me now... I just, I can't deal with this shit anymore.

Boss: Let's hire a new person to help us recreate our website
Us: sounds good!
Boss doesn't hire anyone and starts the website on his own
Boss: I started the new website. It's in server X and the address is test.y.com. I also want all of us to work on it
Me thinking: great he just wants us to modify the hosted files like he does 🙄
Me: I'll move a copy to GitHub for version control.
Boss: Great!
Boss creates a backup folder on the same computer and folder path that the hosted files are on.

Someone please nuke that server so my boss learns version control like I've asked before. I think I'll opt not to work on a website where he and my other co-workers will just overwrite each other's changes because he doesn't want to learn to git 😑

My boss drives me crazy. He hired me for working on his SDK which is game related. So I am responsible for basically everything, including an ingame UI (menu etc.) and to predict the future path of a game object (unit, minion, ..) when a certain spell is casted on it. For that task I divided the prediction into firstly getting the predicted path of the unit without a spell being casted and then a class that would cast the spell on that path and estimate the units reaction to that cast. Simplified, but that way you get a pretty okayish result. Now he thinks that is too complicated. "Can we not put everything into one class, if someone wants to replace the prediction he needs to read documentation for hours". WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU EXPECT, THAT IT'S GONNA BE SOME ONE CLASS 3K LINES MAGIC??

Same for the GUI. We only have DirectX and don't want to use a framework. Guess what, it's more than one class if you want to seperate view, model, controller or whatever fucking "design pattern" thing you use.

And then Git... he seriously said let's not use branches till release, I feel like they slow down things.. before I was there they did every operation on master.

And if it was just that..

/rant

I put much work into this, time to leave?

I really don't mind it as long as the work is on track but damn it hurts to read the git commit messages with messed up spellings. In some cases it's not just that, but variable names, file names, etc. as well.

English isn't the first language in my country and a lot of people are not as proficient with it so it's probably not appropriate to judge, but the cringe is real.

Sometimes I wonder if I am that cringeworthy person to someone else.

What is your favourite dev-tool, you can't live without?

For me it's Git. Rescued my life for several times... 😅

Why does a "senior" developer have a git repo for a critical application that makes our company money, never push to it? I checked it today and it's empty.

My biggest problem with Visual Studio Code is that every fucking piece of shit dev thinks it's their duty to introduce it to me. STOP. Just stop this shit, alright? Wanna use vscode? Fine, just don't tell me it's the best tool and I MUST use it instead of the tools I'm used to. I'm tired of this bullshit.
Every new project, every new team. Starting from js/java/.net monke and ending with PMs, I must hear this bullshit about god blessed IDE that I must use, because "why you need intellij/webstorm/rider? just install vscode and some plugins. we all use it in our project and it's ok".
FUCK YOU! Refactoring is not just renaming variables and extracting blocks of code into functions. If you want terminal integrated into your text editor with highlighting and LSP support, so be it. I want an IDE with rich refactoring tools, code analysis and good completion, database viewing/modeling support, good build tools support, good UI for git and git-diff, good test and code coverage support. I don't want your semi-IDE, bloated with hundreds of bugged third-party plugins, which I must spend a week on to configure and merry with each other before using.
JUST STOP this crap and let people use the tools they are proficient/comfortable/productive with.

I mean yeah I use command line Git to manage sets of Minecraft mods. It's not a big deal or anything.

Tl;Dr: I think react is ugly.

Just cloned a developer git for a certain API and I was going through the application code to get a feel around. I literally said out loud "eww" when I saw the code for the views. Nothing about the pros and cons of the framework, I just think it's hideous. Thoughts from react developers welcome

Oh, gather 'round fellow wizards of the code realm! 🧙✨ Let me regale you with the epic tale of software sorcery and the comical misadventures that come with it! 🤪🎉

So there we are, facing the dreaded Internet Explorer dragon 🐉 - an ancient, stubborn beast from the era of dial-up connections and clipart-laden websites. It breathes fire on our carefully crafted layouts, turning them into a pixelated disaster! 🔥😱

And then, the grand quest of cross-browser testing begins! 🚀🌍 One moment, your website is a shining knight in Chrome's armor, and the next, it's a jester in Safari's court. A circus of compatibility struggles! 🎪🤹

CSS, the arcane art of cascading style sheets, is our magic wand. But oh, the incantations can be treacherous! A slight misstep and your buttons start disco dancing, and your text transforms into a microscopic mystery! 🕺👀

But fear not, brave developers! We wield the enchanted sword of Stack Overflow and the shield of Git version control. We shall slay bugs and refactor with valor! ⚔️🐞

In this enchanted land, documentation is the mystical parchment, often written in the cryptic dialect of ancient monks. "This function doeth stuff, thou knoweth what I meaneth." 📜😅

And meetings, oh the meetings! 🗣️🤯 It's like a conference of babbling brooks in the forest of Jargon. "Let us discuss the velocity of the backlog!" 🌿🐇

But amidst the chaos, we code on! Armed with our emojis and a bubbling cauldron of coffee, we persist. For we are the wizards and witches of the digital age, conjuring spells in Python and brewing potions in Java. 🐍☕

Onward, magical beings of code! 🚀 May your bugs be few, and your merges conflict-free! 🙌🎩

Have you become a replacement tool doing manual and menial IT work to bridge the lack of a proper IT process and streamlining?

I've worked for such companies and it's super annoying.. companies that zip projects to Google Drive instead of using a VCS.. not even having a drawing board or proper office chairs.. not even a cafeteria.. companies using Subversion instead of Git, no project management systems nor software, no JIRA, shit written down on printed paper,.. the list goes on.

A nightmare, really. Like developing in the 90's..