Me: *Watching a movie*

Main Character: "Oh no, we have to hack the CIA to figure out how this machine works! Hacker girl, do the stuff"

Hacker Girl: "Consider it done!"

Hacker Girl: *Opens Linux bash*

Hacker Girl: *types 'mkdir Hack_CIA'

Hacker Girl: "They have two-factor authentication in place, this is going to be a hard one."

Hacker Girl: *Types 'cd Hack_CIA'*

Hacker Girl: "I'm in!"

Me: "..."

Friend: "Wow, so well done, so realistic!"

Me: *Dies*

Dev: this task is done, can I put it in review and do something else?

Me: sure, of course.

Dev: cool, just be aware I'll make some changes to it later.

Me: ... wait, then it's not done.

Dev: no it is, I just need to re-read it and make some changes.

Me: yeah, so it will be done when those changes are made.

Dev: but I don't know what those changes are.

Me: ... I get that ... but ... ok I'm extremely confused. Why do you think it's done.

Dev: because I've written everything I need to and I'm happy with it.

Me: ok so why do you want to make changes.

Dev: I don't.

Me: ... ... ... ... you ... you are really not being clear. If you don't want to make changes, and you are happy with it, why are you planning on making changes later ... after marking the task as done.

Dev: well if I re-read it and see something I don't like, I would like to change it.

Me: ok, so re-read it as many times as you like and make as many changes as you like. But don't mark it as done until it is done.

Dev: but it is done.

Me: no it's not.

Dev: it is, look.

Me: ... yeah looks ok at a quick glance.

Dev: ok so I can mark it as done?

Me: are you going to make more changes?

Dev: yes.

Me: then no.

Dev: why?

Me: BECAUSE ITS NOT DONE.

Dev: ok maybe I'm not explaining it clearly.

Me: ... we can both agree on that. Ok so to summarise, we don't mark something as done until we have stopped touching it. We don't half finish something and say it's done and comeback to it later. We mark it as done when we are happy with i.....

Dev: but I am happ.....

Me: *raises hand* I repeat, if it's done, we lock it away and stop touching it. If someone reads it and complains, we can come back to it with a new ticket. But it's not done until we think we are ready to send it on.

Dev: I am ready to send it, I just may want to change it.

Me: ... ... ... ... ... due to a new policy implemented just now, we are only allowed to send 1 email to a person each week. So unfortunately we can only send on 1 copy. So when you have that 1 copy, let me know.

Dev: ok, let me re-read it a few more times then.

Me: there you go.

Gentlemen,
Please take a look at the enclosed hard drive and let me know if you'll be able to transfer files/software from it onto a laptop. If so I'll send you a laptop so you can get it done.

*Opens box*

My worst developer sin is probably me talking sh*t about programs I could never have done better myself.

"Omg, this is so inefficent!"
"Omg, the ui is so confusing!"
"What kind of idiot would do that?"

...I'm not the only one who does that, am I?

It's so true I think everyone have done that :D

Lawyer: "I heard you do websi..."

Me: "No."

Never, ever again will I do a website for anyone in the law profession. You can write the most airtight and amazing contract ever devised and they will find a way over, under, around, and through it to SCREW YOU UP THE ASS.

Providing work estimation:

Dev: This should take about 2 weeks

Non dev: Really? But it's so simple. Shouldn't be that long right? I think it can be done in one week.

*After one week*

Non dev: Why is it still not done? I thought you only need one week?

i've been working with my plan to make a small software development company for a while now.

time to implement my plan
Finalizing my plan: Done
Quit my job: Done
Ordering Office Requirements : Shipping
a Server : Shipping
Dozen of Rubber Ducks : Shipping
etc...

so here it is, Day 0; repurposing my bunker to be my small office !

new life, new hope

Shout out to devs who put comments in your code I'm so done with my team rn

Also we have slack for a reason stop texting me to update everyone on changes...

"Let's mark every issue a high priority so it all gets done faster."

So that's how it's done.

-"Okay dad, i saw your previous rant on devRant about android studio. So let Me show you how its done!"
Future dev (:

So, sometimes, when I'm developing across the stack, I'll write the backend part first. When I'm done, I put on my best TV voice and say "meanwhile, in the frontend" before I do that part.

I'm weird.

SO GUESS WHAT

IF YOUR SHITTY WIFI CRAPS OUT DURING A VISUAL STUDIO UPDATE, VISUAL STUDIO FUCKING COMMITS SUICIDE

MICROSOFT CAN SUCK A BIG, VEINY COCK. IM SO DONE WITH THEIR SENSITIVE, CONVOLUTED, SLOW IDE.

Working from home in 2020:

Both kids haven't interrupted me in an unusually long time.... That likely means they're up to no good.

On the other hand I'm getting a lot of coding done (bunch of fixes done / misc new tasks done).

So now I sort of do a little mental math to guess if the damage they might be doing is less than the value of me getting shit done for work....

I'd hate to keep myself away from devRant... But it's for the best so I can get some work done.

Just went skydiving. Realized I probably should have left behind all my clients' site admin passwords in case my chute didn't open. Turns out I'm still alive so no harm done.

Finally done with being on call/standby so thought I'd order myself a pizza calzone 😍

I'm not saying that this thing is small but it's smaller than my hands.

I don't have very big hands 😭

Bossman freaks out over every little thing (ironically unless it's important).

Bossman also just set our papertrail 500 filter to forward him a copy of every "critical alert."

Fuck me.

He has zero technical knowledge and zero reading comprehension. He literally forwarded one and said "This has one lots of info in it. explain it to me." (It was a log usage notification. in plain English. It had maybe three numbers in it.)

There's lots of useless "500"s in the list we don't care about. API Guy used the finer as a debugging alert system, and peppered his logs with "500 internal hey look at this." In fact, none of the 500s were even interesting; all but one was spam.

All day I've been tending to freakouts and accusations of me not doing anything. Ugh.

Hello world! I'm new here. Discovered devRant randomly and I'm so happy I did 😊 Problem is, I can't seem to get any work done now that I'm reading rants all day long 🙃

WHEN DOCKER IMAGE NUMBER TWENTY-MOTHERFUCKING-TRILLION FAILS TO COMPILE /RENDER/WHAT-THE-FUCK-EVER THE GODDAMN DATA WITHOUT PROVIDING SUFFICIENT ERROR/HOWEVER-YOU-FUCKING-CALL-IT DEBUGGING INFORMATION.

I'M DONE. I. AM. SO. FUCKING. DONE.

Fuck this fucking sql error for the past 2,5 fucking hours.

I'm so fucking done with this bullshit.

I hit a milestone in my PhD journey today. I wrote my advisor an "I'm so done with this shit" e-mail for the first time!

Manager: Absolutely everything must be done with libraries, vanilla JS solutions are absolutely prohibited!

Manager: Why is our app so slow to load? Is there a library we can install to speed the loading up?

Me: Listen dude, the code worked perfectly and all the test cases passed so I'm done here.
Also me: What is this? What the fuck is this? Why does this work? What witchcraft is this?
*Screams internally*

[SO] Can you unload the dishwasher?
[Me] Of course.

*5 hours later*

[SO] Why is the dishwasher still not done ?
[Me] Why would it be ?
[SO] I asked you to unload it ....
[Me] No, you asked if I CAN do it, and I am able to do it, you didn't ask me to actually do it.
[SO thinking] God, why did I marry a fucking programmer.....

Product Owner: "Our definition of done is putting it on production. So you are only done if it's on production. Otherwise our sprint goal is failed."

So we put it on production.

After deploy, some content manager appears: "Why is the system doing things? I was told this should not happen today."

"Erm, we have put the feature on production as we are only done if it's on production."

"Well, yes. But it should not be live yet!"

Oh well. Communication, or the lack thereof, does never fail to amaze me ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Project manager, a few months ago: "why did you do this task? It's all wrong. It's a backend task, not a frontend task so you shouldn't have done it. Don't do it again."

PM, today, regarding the same task in a different project: "why didn't you do this task? The project isn't complete without it. It isn't right. You should have done it."

Are you fucking serious? If we do it it's wrong, if we don't do it it's wrong too. So why should I bother? Seriously, fuck you you piece of shit.

after weeks of living on my own the inevitable occurred.

I forgot to eat.

it's so distracting to eat. When I'm focused on something I just want to get it done. but by the time I'm done it's way past eating time.

So there is this thing @ the office that everyone has to bake 50 pancakes once.

Its 2 am, i just got done, i cant cook to save my life.

Guess what.

Its 49.

So I've developed a nice looking website for a client after designs were approved and what not. After seeing it in the flesh, the the client is now trying her hand at redesigning it herself in WORD. I am so done.

I'm nearly done importing almost half a million records to Shopify and they just formal email asking me to stop hitting their API so hard.

I'm so done with this. Fuck you and your motherfucking updates!

Back on Mint :)

Here we f**king go again ... part 3.

#speechless

I am so done ~

Hey, you know that screwdriver followup ticket you’ve been working on for several weeks? Yeah, I want it to use <feature> that I’ve never told you about and I know you’ve never used, and it looks like that means rewriting most of it! Also, I still want it done by tonight.

ASDFJ;katharevousa;hsh;klasdf

Soo not happening.

Requires windows 10 anniversary or later... So let use photo's that show it installing on vista...

Well done Adobe.

I'm starting to fucking hate the word 'done'.

Scenario 1:

Boss: How's the spec coming along?
Manager: Oh, it's done.

Manager to me: Hey can you get it done?
Me: Why would you call it done? There's a days worth of work and it's only half done. Boss wasn't even rushing it yet.

Manager: Too late I've already committed it. I'm sure it's simple anyway. Just do it.

Scenario 2:

Manager: Hey is it done?
Noob dev: Yea it's done.

*Commits half assed incomplete sphagetti shit that breaks stuff*

Manager: Well done. Completed so quickly.

FUCK THIS SHIT.

I started reading the book "The clean coder" by Robert Martin and now I feel depressed.
So many of the things that he qualifies as unprofessional have I done :'(

Unexperienced digital immigrant: "Let's make a website, can you do this?"
Me: "Yeah."
"But you gotta use wordpress. We want to be able to change the content easily. Also we want to have that website done fast."
"Meh, ok."

one day later

"Are you done yet?"
Me: "No, I got to find a good way for the lightbox I'm still implementing to fetch data from posts blabla"
"Why are you not done yet? Just take a plugin, even I can do that. Wordpress is so easy, it's just 1, 2, 3 and done."

Yeah I have an idea. Why don't you just make the website yourself.

So;dfjkhijasdfkjq;sdfhjkl;asdf

I copy a line from one spec (to create a user) and paste it in another spec. It works just dandy in the first, and throws MySQL missing column errors in the other.

Fucking what.

This codebase is full of shit like this. Things work in one place but not another, and it’s never obvious why. Tens of thousands of gotchas and quirks. The only way I can get an answer to things like these is to either beg my boss for an explanation, which I’m sure he’s long since tired of, or spend a full day (or more) wading through several rabbit holes filled with raw sewage.

I wasted two hours today trying to get a simple fucking factory to work. And you know what? I just gave up and used the existing admin user. Yeah it’s a bad idea, but it’s fucking good enough.

They can yell if they want.
I have no cares left.

So that is how it's done...

I am so done with this. Graphics in TurboC++ will literally drive you crazy.

That awful realisation that your job could so easily be done remotely from your desk at home while wearing nothing but underpants and eating pop tarts.

We need this done quickly!!! Don't worry about testing!!!

....

Why are there so many errors!?

I'm alone in the office today and already done a lot of work. How can I be so much more productive when nobody is around.

I forgot to git fetch, so I spent quite a while doing exactly WHAT MY TEAMMATE HAD DONE JUST HOURS AGO

... I'm so done... Our dog died last night, in the arms of my father... And the worst is, my little brother has seen everything and even tried a CPR on him... It's destroying me. Why is life so cruel? R. I. P. Buddy, we'll miss you 😢

I had a professor in college who was "the expert in java programming language". He had a unique way of teaching.

P: So you save your java file and run this command.
*Some error occurs*
Me: But this is showing some error
P: Exactly. I wanted to show this exact same error so that you learn that this is not how its done. I will let you figure it out how its done and it will be your assignment for the day. Class dismissed.

So we outsourced a system.
It was the most stupid thing we could've done.
It's my job to make it fucking work.

Ever had the feeling "My code is working fine but I know it's so messy and I should make it readable for others!"

-Never done anything

I don't think I've EVER wanted to hit the insert key.

"You know what would be great?"
"What?"
"If typing erased what you've already done so you can't actually edit anything"
"Sounds pretty great"

So yesterday I said to my private laptop update and shutdown...

Fast forward to this morning. Hell breaks loose. Have to fix it asap! We have downtime. But fucking windows update!!!

You fucking peace of shit should have done this yesterday. And why does it have to take so long.

Me, whenever i work with something other than java: "Wow, this could be done so much easier with java"

Today, during an update from senior management, I was casually sitting in the corner filling in my CV to get out of here lol.

I want to actually complete a personal project for once. All the way. Done. So I can have a product.

Yay, it's Monday!
And as Monday's go, there's a prod deployment, cool beans! 30 min later it's done!

So why the rant?

Because I'm on FUCKING ANNUAL LEAVE YOU BITCHES!!!!!

Fuck it, it's done, I'm going back to bed.

Just when you are done working and want to relax so you start the pc, and this shows. Tableflip. 😒

Being a good developer is knowing how to balance writing perfect code with getting shit done. Working lean means half your stuff in going to die anyway, so fighting for the corpse just wastes everybody's time

I just watched The Social Network and I'm so depressed that I'm through quarter of my life and haven't done anything significant yet.....😭😭

Debugging async multithreaded apps is so much fun that I have a pile of hair on my desk that's been pulled out in frustration.

Considering making a wig to wear after I'm done.

Yay😊
The company I'm working at (as student developer) just told me that they would love to hire me full-time, when I'm done!
Love working here, so totally gonna take them up on that 😊

My company went remote since the outbreak, surprisingly, more work was getting done, so we are completely remote.

Anyone work with other developers who take 3 times as long as you to do things, spend all day talking, get nothing done, so you have to pick up the slack? Fucking annoying.

When you consider blocking devrant on your router so you can get some work done...

Most ignorant ask from pm:
“So what have we done in the app so far?”
When the requirement gathering hadn’t even been completed yet.

i love programming, but have done too many 12 hour days recently.

spent last two days recharging by doing nothing but play the new Doom game.

i have a great job so my boss supports me.

It's sad that such a primitive thing as a DDoS attack can bring down a huge chunk of the internet. Well done Dyn for being so unprepared.

DigitalOcean's and Microsoft's Hacktoberfest done!

And my computer got so slow for some reason.

(Presses Ctrl + Shift + Esc)

Oh shit.

I found my friend's terminal on.
Did an experiment:-
while true; do
firefox
done

I was so sorry for his laptop.

A follow up from my previous rant about a dev colleague in the security company we work for consistently forgetting to lock his screen...he's done it again, so I made him a dickbutt loop this time

THE TIME HAS COME, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.

I finished the avatar editor on the rewrite. It works so well.

After trial and error in design, API reversing and more, I've finally done it.

I hate those movies/tv series in programmer just tap on some keys and says it's done. this makes programming/coding looks so easy.

FUCK YOU MAN ITS NOT EASYYYY

Just started playing with Microsoft's Quantum Computing Kit and it's so amazing 😍!

Well done Microsoft!

When you don't want to explain what you've done with application's code base so you play the "algorithm" card.

Boss: tell me about the new release.
Me: updated the search algorithms boss.
Boss: cool. Release!
Me: 😎

I have a project at work that involves learning a bunch of AWS stuff and rewriting a couple credential-generating scripts. I don't even know what the ask is, apart from some high-level "make this SSO" so ... idfk.

I am so incredibly bored of it (and burned out in general) that I can't even look at it.

I would rather see how many times it takes to beat my head against the wall to make a hole than think about this ticket again.

"Oh, I thought you would find that fun" No. No I do not. I can't even bring myself to look at it anymore. "Well, try to push through it and get it outta here!" Ughhhhh

I hope Russia nukes the bloody company.

Friend - could you comment your code, so I can review it pls.

Me - *comments "gets shit done" ,
"Does some shit ",
"I really don't like commenting my code "

Today I first used Github. I should have done so alot sooner.

The curse of people working "Agile"

Me: So how do you guys work?

Him: Well we work agile

Me: So like scrum? Or how do you guys work agile?

Him: Weeeell.. We meet once a week and show eachother what we've done.

Me: Oh...

My team are so needy and incapable of figuring anything out independently that I've basically not got any of my sprint tasks done so far. So today I told them that I was working from home for a day to actually get done work done, but I'm on Slack if they really need me.

The only observable difference now is that instead of just bugging me, they start every conversation with, "sorry, I know you're busy, but..."

!rant

Omfg, after webdeving for so long, I recently started to learn python and image manipulation.

I'm in love.

What have I done lol

Started work: 9:30am
Finished work: 9:30pm

Finally finished my "basically done" ticket from two days ago, though I'm still not sure if it's behaving correctly. It deals with the Apple wallet and iPhone notifications, and all I have is an emulator, so. 😕 Things work as expected maybe half the time? and idfk why. I'm going to leave the actual testing to QA since they have actual iPhones and it'll run on staging on actual servers with actual connectivity and actual pushes, so maybe then things will actually make sense. Until then? So done.

Started drinking: 9:30pm
Finished drinking: TBD

<media lyrics="I don't know what the fuck just happened but I don't really care, imma get the fuck up outta here. Fuck this shit i'm out" />

I am now officially 23 years old.

So many hours of work invested
So many countless blood spilled
So much sweat made
So many years passed
So many projects worked on

Summed up in 0 successful projects

If someone were to ask me to showcase what I had done in 23 years of my life, I cannot show them something that no longer exists. The projects are dead. I cannot even prove my friends what I had done other than blindly say what I had done. But behind the scenes I worked so much and am completely demotivated by all of the pressure from failure. I have actually never felt so bad on my birthday. 2020 really is the worst year ever. I feel like a failure while life is just exponentially passing by.....

So...my first experience with Scrum. How many fucking energy and productivity draining meetings can you squeeze in to two weeks?!!!! Agile? Hahaha. Don't get me started! Leave me alone and let me get some work done!

So I just had to pick the lock on my own bike because I forgot the key... Well done dipshit, well done.

Me: "Of course it's technically possible. The problem here is that this would make the UX very confusing"
Project Manager: "So, when will it be done?"

When you're stuck on the same error for so long, you try so many different things and by the time you get it to work, it feels like you've made so much progress. But once you take a step back you realize you really haven't done much.

Today, i moved out from my parents house, perhaps the most adult thing I've done so far.

Sometimes you just have to kick your wife and kids out on a beautiful day so you can get some work done.

• Plan out everything by taking notes on the rough functionality of the project and how it could be done in a preferably simple way
• Writing code, but documentating it while doing so
• Also trying to write clean code so it can be more easily built upon
• Also keeping everything simple. If I'm using nasty, unreadable one-liners because of efficiency advantages, I'm putting a comment there for what could alternatively be used + explaining it
• Abandon it because side projects never get done

Being a perfectionist so nothing gets done until I’ve done it till it’s just right.

Fuck C++ I am so done with this garbage

No I do not accept differing opinions

Well done windows a zero day bug that escalates privilege. Google was so pissed about it they released the info before Microsoft could fix it 😂

Doing tons of research and learning, trial and error to infinity and pushing through when I thought 'fuck this shit I'm so fucking done'!

So I wrote code to show the FUNCTIONALITY of my module , which has temporary variables and temporary code.
Boss after verifying : so it's done right ?
Me: no the code needs to be written .
Boss : but it's working...
Me : yeah , but this is a test environment , I need to put everything in place and test .
Boss : so it'll be done in 15 minutes right ?
Me : ...
Boss: ...

hey buddy mate pal friend bro nacho

IF YOU FINISH A TASK NOT ASSIGNED TO YOU THEN FUCKING ASSIGN IT TO YOURSELF SO WE DONT WAIT FOR SOMEONE TO DO WHAT YOUVE ALREADY DONE

Well done firefox for not implementing some stuff from ES6, because you decided to do so. Isn't the releases of EcmaScript considered to be standards? I'm a Firefox fan, but damn, Chrome is so much more advanced.

When you and your superior get done with a project, and your superior almost gets fired so he's panicked and you're like "SEE WHAT I MEAN!!!!"

Previously:"Come on man!! 20 minutes adventure, in and out."

Me, starting this project: "im gonna use a templating engine so i can effectively generate files"

Me, now: "this could have been done by a string replace"

!rant

Now that I make decent money, I've started donating to non-profit tech foundations/companies. So far VideoLAN(the guys who make VLC) and WikiMedia done.

What else would you suggest? Thanks :)

Working on my senior project tonight I went from "oh my god I'm so far behind I'm never going to get this done in time" to "I can't wait to show my advisor tomorrow because I've gotten so much done"

Feels good

So my church has ask me to do their website (: kinda excited haven't done a project like this in a while

When I got my Raspberry Pi a couple of years ago, I had all these grandiose ideas of what I wanted to do with it. So far, all I've done is get it to flash my lights when my dryer's done.

2022 Dev Goal: Find a way to retire early so I never have to build another website or write another line of code again. It’s been over 25 years and I’m just done and over it.

I got my stickers nearly a week ago, didn't have the time to stick them and snap a picture of it, but now I've done it :)
Thank you so much @dfox for these, they're awesome ;)

I'm feeling so lonely at work. No one is interested in talking to me. They talk only when they need something done.

I've been and I did my best being nice to everyone ☹️

I'm surprised how much work I got done today. Was working in a cafe with my girlfriend. So productive.

Then I get home and think I'll continue the flow but here I am.....Just being a potato

Appointments, gym, grocery shopping... Can't wait to be done so I can get home and code already.

Just right now:
Management: How's the feature going?

Me: The backend is done. Here's how the front end looks so far...

Management: What?! No! Where will they input the units? What about the input#2? and the graphs?! You were just not going to put that?

Me: ... this is how it's lookin so far. The deadline isn't until next week. I'm actually pretty ahead of schedule.

Management: But what about button #2 and #3? And input #4?

Me: Yes, it's all planned. It's not done yet. You asked me how I'm doing so far. Of course I haven't finished.

My wife was done with exercises on her electronic 88 keys piano.
Me: I also know something nice.
Her: oh so?
Me: (repeatedly typing key #3)
Her: (thinking)
Her: C hacking?!

Around 11:30pm I honestly thought I was about done, but a series of production issues has kept me up until 4:30am. Solving one revealed another, and so on.

Finally, all is quiet.

Goodnight World.

so folks,
my very first question on stackoverflow got downvoted.
im done with this place. i dont feel good also there... dunno

* 1 day of requesting the feature, deadline not for a while*

switch{
case 1:

Manager: How's the new feature going?

Me: I've done a bit of the front end. Here's how it will look.

Manager: Oh great it's done! Does it do ABC as the client requested? Does it also do XYZ that I just thought about this second?

Me: eh this is just part of the front end, I haven't even connected it to the backend - I haven't even started the backend.

case 2:
Manager: How's the new feature going?

Me: I've done a bit of the back end.

Manager: ok. Can I look?

Me: we'll it's just code... *shows them the code*

Manager: oh... so it's nothing really. Call me when it is done
}

Work: We're gonna add another project to you. Nice, so thats 3 now. Oh, and get 2 of them done by the end of this month please. Thanks.
Me: ...
Me: ha ha ha

FINALLY FINISHED THE THING I WAS WORKING ON SINCE LAST MARCH!!! THIS HAS PISSED ME OFF SO MUCH!!! TEARS WERE SHED!!!FEELINGS HURT!!! BUT IT'S DONE!!! I AM NEVER TRANSLATING SOMETHING FROM C++ TO C# AGAIN!!!

Manager : (During 2 weeks before final release) So the client asked if we could have this xyz functionality which we never have done before.
Me: But we already have so many issues to fix and only a week to do that
Manager: that's true.. So Complete them in 3 days ?

My strategy is really really dumb. I go outside and smoke... ive done this for so long that im now at the point that im terrified that if i stop smoking i wont get unstuck. pathetic isnt it?

So.. You can't boot into recovery and wipe the partition? Like I have done multiple times on my macbook?

Ever have those days where you come into work thinking "Yes! I'm going to get so much done today!" and then you sit down at your computer and state blankly at your screen for a few hours?

dev goals? get shit done!

I have this common illness among devs:
I start projects and never really finish them.

Hate that. Feels so empty.
So this year I finally want to get shit done.

It's so fucking hot today, just seriously fucking rediculous. Thinking of taking the laptop to code at the beer garden - will be the only way to get any productivity done.

Thoughts?

Me: I have so much to do! How the hell am I going to get all this done?!

**hears someone say something about some framework/library I don't know**

Me: hmmm let me google that real quick then I'll get back to work...

**3 hours later**

Me: damnit! I'm never going to get my work done!

Today I got more praise for adding a spinning animation while loading page than the 5 months of complex coding I've done so far.

Users are simple, look shiny, ignore that nothing works.

PM: To achieve this, do A
Me: That's unnecessarily complex, can't we do B
PM: Ooh, so it's too complicated for you?
Me: No, it's complex, it will bottleneck the system
PM: We've done A in 5 different websites, so you should do the same
Me: ......

Me: oh boy i have so much fun stuff planned for this weekend, better get my work done before it

My immune system: here have this flu with some pink eye on top

Is it bad that I'm excited about going back to work from tomorrow?
Like, I haven't even done jackshit throughout the break, and so it won't be easy jumping back in with both feet.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I like to paint miniatures. So I keep a small collection of what I've done sitting on my desk. I also keep drawing stuff beside me too in case I feel like doodling.

At last !!
All projects are done!

Done 3 compiler project (with 3 separate documentation)
And 6 different Algorithms for algorithm design and analysis.(including my own project)

Been coding so hard to finish them ontime and now I made it :)

Oh, how my colleagues think I have psychic powers and am able to discern what is the problem they face just by being notified of its existence.

Had another shouting contest today with this manager-of-some-sort. So yeah, I’m practically done with this company.

*meeting on Monday*
Client: so I've got this project I want you to do, it's simple right?
Me: seems so
Client: so I'll pay you this much because it's so simple
Me: uhhhhhhhh
Underpaying client: I also told my higher ups that you'd be done by Friday you can do that yeah
Me: ..................

Importing modules in python is the biggest shit i have done in my life. ALWAYS SOMETHING IS NOT FOUND. I have no fuckin clue who came up with this shit. I fuckin hate python for that so so much
EASY LANGUAGE GO TO HELL

We prefer to have it done yesterday

So

The graphic guys will send the final logo next week

FML

When internet is not working:
Oh my so much I could have done!

When it starts working:
What was I supposed to do

Aaaarrrrgghhhhhhhhh

Out of all the days,

My laptop is lagging today, when I need to things to be done.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

PS. It's so slow, that I ended up searching a meme too.

I'm so happy to have quit my current job. Just a few weeks to go. To see my colleague take weeks for an task I would have done in a day or two, gives me enough satisfaction to stop carrying him in front of our boss. Just hearing him say "I haven't done this before" Yeah it's not like I told you over and over how it works for two years.

When you're done a project for someone that took 3 weeks: so you ask them to pay, and they tell you they don't want it anymore. THE FUCK

Poor Mr. Squishy working as a window stopper, since some clever folks at the property management department, after months of nagging to get blinds so that the light reflected doesn’t interfere with my (light in general, not direct sunlight).

They installed the blinds in front of the window, so it can only be opened a few centimetres… Well done! Well done! I have to choose, either slightly warmer air than I prefer, or bothersome light reflection in all of my monitors.

Me : There is a hotfix needs to be done.

Boss : So what ?

Me : Its assigned to you from last 2 weeks and deadlines are near.

Boss: (speaking politely) oh.. is it? Can you take a look ?

Me : ..

I'm so done with Eclipse! Meet my new love, Netbeans!

What books do you guys recommend?
So far I read:
1. The Clean Architecture
2. Microservices Architecture (50% done, should be done in a week or two max)

I'm thinking of reading next:
Domain Driven Development

What do you think?

I want to light this project on fire and walk away. Nothing is making any bloody sense.

According to specs, It’s updating a google wallet object via api, but isn’t generating the data to send along, despite every possible code path hitting that first. It also apparently isn’t calling any of the methods along the way. Obviously this is false, but that’s what the specs are reporting.

It’s also updating the object when nothing has changed. That might be, but shouldn’t, because I can see it calling the `should_update?` method which returns false, and it nopes out after that. so wth.

I’m so ready to never see this craziness ever again.

wtb kerosene or Greek fire pot, good price, pst. open to trade

i do not know how i fixed it, but it works so i’m done for the day.

any potential repercussions are a problem for future me

PM: "Did you ever push changes for this one feature?" Me: "No. I haven't had time to even look at it. Everyone wants me to do stuff before my last day." PM: "okay so is it done yet or not?". If i haven't looked at it, if it's not pushed, HOW THE HELL WOULD IT BE DONE?!

##Design to front-end conversion

Me - Send me the designs so i can start working it

Graphic Designer - Done ( Sends PSD files )

Me - Send me them separately, element by element, with transparency, color codes and flattened designs not PSD's

GD - Done

Me - Opens email to see elements that should be transparent saved as jpg's

Me - Opens PSD's, crop and save elements.

Meanwhile explains next time do this and that so it'll be easier.

Usually this happens few times a month

So I'm working on a Gnome shell extension. Which is a nice integration wtih Todoist. It's far from done but it's starting to shape up.

From all projects and things I've done, this is a pain. There is almost no documentation so I'm almost entirely reliant on source codes of other extensions.

And yeah, stackoverflow isn't going to help you...

Fun project nevertheless :) Reminds me of the time I worked in WINAPI.

I'm sorry, but I'm so fucking done with Hinglish.

I wish tutorials that merge the two have an indication of it in their titles.

I hate Xcode so fricking much!
I hate Macs in general, and trying to export for iOS.
So convoluted, counter-intuitive.
And cocoapods? WTF are they?!

Visual Studio, Android Studio + Flutter is so easy: "flutter build" ....done!
But YOU, you fucking xcode peice of wank....are summink ELSE!

Started learning ASP.NET core. It's an amazing experience so far.
PS : I feel like I could not have done this without visual studio.

tell my boss on Friday that I'll work through the weekend to get done work done on some python code.

he doesn't give out vpn access so I can't use our company git so I put the project on a flash drive to work on.

come into work and I have an email. on Sunday he did everything I said I was doing (and had done) and then refactors the entire repo so even if he hadn't done the work, all of what I did became useless.

His way is the only way. but good luck getting him to tell you how he wants it. you just have to do a bunch of work only for him to tell you he doesn't like the way you did things and then he does it himself.

makes me realize why their other programmers didn't stick around. because they had to work so closely with this guy.

glad I started looking for other jobs sooner then later.

I'm so fucking done today.

The VB project I ranted about earlier was apparently just the top of the iceberg of madness that is my workplace.
So the same ninjacoder who managed to code himself as a dependency in the VB project apparently had his greasy little fingers in a bunch of other projects around here.
A script for automating new workstation installs that went haywire last week had traces from this Omnipotent mastermind all over it. He got us this time with static urls and zero errorhandling.
Well played sir.
Getting so done with undocumented projects that I have to dig through several hours just to find and fix.

~ before sprint starts, suring planning phase ~

Me: “There’s no chance this will be done in a sprint”.
Scrum Master: “Great, let’s just mark this as a risk and continue”.

~ two weeks later ~
Me: “oh jeez, I don’t think this task will be done this sprint!”
Screwyou Master: “Why didn’t you raise a flag sooner so we could plan better?”

~ Me proceeding to jumping off that beautiful skyscraper office ~

RANT
Using Windows.
So frustrated. Do people use it to get things not done? Or do they use it to annoy others?

What is debugging an application?

Sticking in it for hours, for fixing the error. Finally when it is done, you find it is already there in SO :/.

#myFirstHackathonExperience

I’m so done of getting false errors in Visual Studio

I'm so done with these big boring technical programming books. So painful to read... I'll just watch some quick tuts and maybe, just Google what I need to know.

When you feel like you are getting so much stuff done, that you don't want to stop!!!

Need to get some sleep though!

Rant

Arg! Stack overflow why are you so full of argumentative dumb wits. I post serious question for a serious answer and what do I get? People who apparently know my situation better than me and have decided what I want to be done shouldn't be done. They don't even know what I am making. Either answer the question or move on!!!

Have you ever worked in a team that actually did everything right?

I have never seen anyone talk about a team in which things got done.

I'm a solo coder, so, don't really know either way. Sounds like mostly, teams are a mess b/c they aren't done right for the most part?

I dont know actually, but seems that way.

Have a big legacy project which should be updated to current technologies,

but when it's done, these current technologies are outdated already, so you

Have a big legacy project which should be updated to current technologies,

so a client yesterday decides they need a site built by eop Friday, that has been quoted today. if approved first thing tomorrow gives about 1.5 days to get it done. Thanks boss

How do you deal with choice paralysis?

Like I should do X but rather do Y
But I don't feel like doing Y now either so should do Z

But that's no fun/productive...ah wtf let's just do A,B, C after I take a nice long nap...

And then after the weekend, nothing I should've done got done...

Already done.
1 unlimited money
2 magic bug fixer elf
3 realized there were no point for me to do anything any more so wish to undo the first two.

A dev's worst nightmare can be summed up as this:

"Working on updates
5% Progress
Don't turn off your computer"

So much for getting some work done tonight.....

One last feature and I’ll be done with a project holy fuck. I’m so fucking close just one more class and it’s done and I can move on to something I like a little more.

Guys...
I finally switched from eclipse to netbeans! *hurray*
But it was not easy...
Netbeans didnt want to import first, so i coded myself a little program that prints a complete config file for my project...
So that was done.
But the colors... So ugly.
So i changed them to my eclipse colors.
Finally, after 3 hours of configuration and getting to know how exporting works, I AM DONE!
EclipseUsers--;

So does every project manager pretend to know how coding is done? 🤷‍♂️

I'm relatively new to the whole development and stuff, so I have no idea how usual process goes.

So when my project moved onto closed beta, I thought I could rest a bit.

NOPE.

Apparently half the shit I've done sucks so much and I need to debug the shit out of it.

Bless the testers.

So I've started learning vim... why haven't i done this before

when a client say and i quote "this site is perfect just download it and add my content,i mean half the works done so i can get ot cheaper right...."

#tells client im busy.

5am zzzZzZz, first day in 3 weeks summer holiday, wife is snoring so why not get up and get some coding done :-)

So today morning I got a driver related BSOD after which during restart, my pc went into windows update. Everything was going fine when power failed and it shut off. Now I am stuck with this...
Good thing I have linux in dual boot so work is getting done.

Getting lots done on my first real Java application :D

Feels so good to actually understand the whole of something.

So 10 phonecalls en 6 emails later i’m pretty much done with jobhunting for today i think. Omg, what an insane day this was!

Well I figured out why my delete button wasn't working...

I'm so burnt out and ready for school and this capstone project to be done.

The hardest thing I've done in the last few years, was leaving microsofts fucking insider program for windows, so hard to fucking get out. Fuck you microsoft.

Something that really grinds my gears recently is ”black boxes”. I get a dll to work with, completly without documentation and any desceiptions. An hour later people asks me, ”so hows it going, done yet?”.
No, im not done yet and I probably wont be in any near future you fucking morons, start documenting your fucking software as normal human beings.

I'm so used to phones that when I stretched with my 3DS in my hand I was fully prepped for the screens to auto-rotate.

what have you done to me

That one moment you create something so magical that you never even intended to write and don't even realise what you have done until after it is done 😮

So, I've been asked to build a tool that scrape's one's Facebook friends and their friends. I (surprisingly) managed to get it done.

I don't know what to feel about this.

when the project manager asks you if you have an ETA on the project you're trying to finish because deadline is a few hours. You have never done the thing you're trying to complete before so you have no baseline for it and they know that.... nope but you'll be the 2nd person to know when it's done, maybe next time don't promise deadlines without consulting the devs?

quote: companies would never be paying you enough, they would pay you the bare minimum to get the work done, so learn to negotiate until you have good options.

Ok so I bought a new phone yesterday and my entire day today has been massive failure and loss.

I have to get various things done but fuck!!!
Help me

So after 3 months of working ( which implies a 2h trip from home to get to the office ), going to college ( another 1h from home to get there ) and making a thesis to get a fucking Bachelor degree. I'm kind of done with everything except the job. I mean, I can't focus seriously in anything besides coding. So my question for you guys is, How do you get the important stuff done even if you don't wanna do it ?

When you're doing so many follow up emails that you don't have time to get the work done.

I still have no internet at my new home. The technician will be here in 5 weeks. So I spend my time in the old flat sitting on the floor to get work done.

So I'm in the middle of writing a script for episode 1 of my how I would have done it series and fuck me, I feel so sorry for big youtubers that script every video, this is annoying me just from a basic script!!!

So this week I have been fired from developer job, because my project should be done a month ago. But the environment weren't ready so I was preparing itand even something wasn't implemented.
Now everything should be functional, just didn't had time to test it.

So, against like 90% of all odds, we (I) managed to submit the application to Apple for review at the ripe old time of 21.27 last night.
Events of the day included:
- fighting with appstoreconnect (turns out they just return a 500 if you haven't paid your Apple developer membership)
- legal being over an hour later than our absolute deadline for getting the Terms and Conditions and Privacy Policy
- said T&C's and Privacy Policy being delivered in Word, and having to manually format those for our app (thanks guys, please don't use tables again)
- removing FAQs altogether because "it would have taken too long to make those today" (ticket in Jira for this for ~4 months)
- our app was targeting both iPad and iPhone, so we had to rebuild the app for iPhone only because "we don't have app store images for iPad".

On the bright side, that leaves 3 days next week to get the rest of the backend finished for actual go live on Monday 16th, so long as Apple don't reject the app.

Side note: adding the target-device preference affected the android build somehow? despite the preference being iOS only, and wrapped in a platform="iOS" section.

I'm so done with auth
it's more than a nightmare
it's a disgrace
why can't someone just be like "you know how auth and identity is hard? why don't we make it easy?"
I would pay so much for that

Once I was using rsync to copy some large files from a cloud to my local machine. So right after I started it, I went out for some coffee and when I came back it was not done. And to my horror I forgot to use --progress. For people who don't know what it does is , it only shows you how much copying is done. So now after about 45 mins of copying done , I had to stop it start all over again with --progress so that I can see the progress as it completed. 🤔

When you're done with your side of a project but you're waiting on other people.... Then you're the one that still gets bitched at by Mr. CEO man. Piss off, I've done my part. No I can't just upload it the way it is, no I won't upload it the way it is. Go tell the other spit fucks to get me their shit so I can finish the project.

Oh God! I have a java exam coming up in two days and i'm so not done with my project work for evaluation. Truth is, i haven't even started yet since i was so focused on building up my javascript knowlegde. I'm fucked.