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!Rant
Support Call:
”our PC stick isn't booting up! Come and fix it! (angry)”
Me:
”The PC are meant to boot up whenever power is delivered to them. Are you sure your TVs are powered on?”
Support Call:
”Yes! I just pressed the power button on both TVs and it didn't turn on the PC sticks.”
Me:
”So you can confirm the TVs are on? Can you change the input and see what happens?”
Support Phone:
”Stop wasting my time and send someone down to fix it now! I told you it isn't working!”
Me:
”Ok, we will get someone out to you as soon as possible.”
Then a support guy drives 2 hours to their store.
When he gets there he realizes that the TVs power is connected to a light switch and they has the switch off!!!
He said ”can we turn on some lights so I can see behind the TV?” and then all the fucking TVs came on.
These are times when I fully understand the concept of “firing a customer”.
The customer sent an email saying ”the downtime for your product was unacceptable.” even after it was explained to them that the problem was them turning off the power.
These fucking idiots actually expect us to deliver products to display on TVs without fucking electricity to run them.
13 -
Every fkn 3 to 4 days, some random dev shows up in my office really really fkn confused and frustrated about something he doesn't understand - because I have a dark secret.
Sometime, in cold lonely nights, when no one is watching, I write my documentation before the actual code.
Somehow, sometimes documentation without code attached to it makes it to production.
Today someone yelled at me for wasting his time because he wasted 3 hours trying to find the code the documentation belongs to - and demented I stop the practice from now on.
Agh.13 -
Does anyone else get irrationally annoyed when a team member says "Hi" via slack/messenger etc. and then nothing else until you say "Hi" back, and only then describes what they want?
Dahhhhhh. Stop wasting my time. Just ask what you want.29 -
If grade school was like stack overflow:
Kid: "I can't figure out how to subtract on this problem."
Teacher: "LULZ you fuckin dumbass, someone already asked about subtraction! Learn to Google and stop wasting my time!"9 -
Excuse the profuse amount of profanity below.
Fuck this fucking fucked up motherfucker of a fucking director. Money does not make you a fucking decent person, and you come in here and tell me that you pay my fucking measly salary so I must be fucking grateful.
Starts off with a boardroom meeting this morning. Wireless connection on my laptop takes two minutes to connect, I get told that I am wasting company time and that the salary of everyone in the meeting is quite a lot ("with me being the highest"- cuntface director) so stop wasting time. Fuck you man, it's a fucking wireless connection. I am building your motherfucking company applications and doing web design and for what, so I can earn fuckall and be told that I am fucking wasting time. I am presenting your fucking site you wanted, so give me a fucking minute extra to start up the fucking wireless connection.
The fucking mails are taking long to send, great, let's come down and fucking scream at the dev who regrettably said he would try and assist IT (by calling the provider). I literally just got told that I am the following. 1) Fucking stupid 2) He is going to close the dept down because I apparently fuck up (yet again cuntface, your fucking mailserver is NOT MY FUCKING PROBLEM) 3) He is going to contact an external company to come and check my work. 4) I am fucking useless. 5) I telling him lies (yeah fuckface, I worked as a sys admin, I know what a motherfucking DNS server is and what it does. you don't - so don't fucking tell me that I am lying when I tell you there is a DNS fucking issue, because you don't know what the fuck you are talking about - to top that off motherfucker, I FUCKING BUILT YOUR FUCKING SERVER AND YOUR FUCKING NETWORK. I FUCKING KNOW HOW IT WORKS AND WHAT THE FUCK I AM TALKING ABOUT).
On top of that, I got pushed out of the way of my own PC, my code got some fucked up gibberish in it (because he was trying to minimise my editor and he typed some in it, and now I have to fucking roll-back. He told me I am wasting company time and he will take my shit away from me if I download something again. It is an open network. I downloaded JAVA and fucking updated Sublime. Jesus man. What the fucking fuck.
"why is your gmail open?!?!" because I was testing your emails from an external network. "DON'T FEED ME BULLSHIT" (even though the top mail states "test"). It's the whole fucking "my money determines my dick size" mentality.
That being said, I got told that I need to work overtime, without pay, to resolve IT's issue, even if I have to on the weekend.
That being said,my new Dell that I had just bought (my own) got thrown on the floor and he fucked out of my office. Stupid motherfucker. I fucking earn nothing but cannot leave. I will find another job, and when I do - you can go and fuck yourself and your fucking degrading opinions. I am not fucking stupid, so fuck you.Fuck your company and fuck you. Cunt.33 -
Corporate IT: YOU MUST COME INTO THE OFFICE. WE JUST RECEIVED AN URGENT NOTIFICATION FROM APPLE OF A SECURITY VULNERABILITY IN iOS DEVICES. YOU HAVE BEEN IDENTIFIED AS HAVING A MAC ASSET. COME INTO THE OFFICE IMMEDIATELY AND UPDATE IT.
Dev: I don’t use that mac, it sits in my office desk drawer unplugged. I’ll update it if I ever need it for anything. Which I won’t, we don’t do iOS dev anymore.
Corporate IT: NOOOOO!!! YOU MUST UPDATE IT NOW!!!
Dev: I’m not wasting time driving into the office this week. We have an important deadline we’re working on, I can’t afford to lose 2 hours to this. Plus it can’t be turned on right now, It’s been unplugged for 2 years.
Corporate IT: THAT WOULDN’T STOP A HACKER!!
Dev: …11 -
FUCKING LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!
I NEED TO FUCKING WORK!
NO I DON'T CARE ABOUT POLITICS.
NO I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOUR RANDOM FUCKING DREAMS.
NO I DON'T CARE ABOUT COINS OR THE PRICE OF GOLD.
NO I DON'T CARE ABOUT SOME EXPENSIVE PLANE OR BOAT OR CAR YOURE NEVER GOING TO BUY.
NO I DON'T CARE ABOUT CHINA.
NO I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOUR DRAMA.
I DON'T CARE ABOUT ANY OF THE ARBITRARY FUCKING BULLSHIT YOU BLABBER ABOUT.
STOP. WASTING. MY. TIME.
I'M THE ONLY ONE PAYING THE BILLS
SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LET ME DO IT!26 -
If you’re:
- Always tired
- Feeling lost
- Constantly bored
- Indifferent toward the future
Then it’s time to realize you’re going through life on autopilot without any passion.
Find what you’re passions are and pursue them with everything you have. Stop wasting yourself.13 -
Programming is like sex because...
- One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
- Once you get started, you'll only stop because you're exhausted.
- It takes another experienced person to really appreciate what you're doing.
- ...Conversely, there's some odd people who pride themselves on their lack of experience.
- You can do it for money or for fun.
- If you spend more time doing it than watching TV, people think you're some kind of freak.
- It's not really an appropriate topic for dinner conversation.
- Public schools don't do a very good job teaching kids about it.
- It doesn't make any sense at all if you try to explain it in strictly clinical terms.
- Some people are just naturally good at it.
- ...But some people will never realize how bad they are, and you're wasting your time trying to tell them.
- There are a few weirdos with bizarre practices nobody really is comfortable with.
- One little thing going wrong can ruin everything.
- It's a great way to spend a lunch break.
- Everyone acts like they're the first person to come up with a new technique.
- Everyone who's done it pokes fun at those who haven't.
- Beginners do a lot of clumsy fumbling about.
Source and full list : https://push.cx/2006/...1 -
- just do your job. Close this ticket already and go to the next one
- It's just a 1 minute job.. Don't build scripts for things that simple!
- Look, we don't have time to spare for coffee breaks. Stop wasting your time on scripting!
- netikras, the IST shift fucked things up again. I need you to do your magic and clear those alerts
- netikras, there are 20 tickets waiting to be investigated. Either your coleagues spend 2 hours on them or you do your magic in 2 minutes, as always..
- netikras, please share your scripts with your team
- netikras, I have nominated you for the Star Award for your script
- netikras, here's the star award and the financial prize. Those are nice swarovskies you've picked for your wife! Good choice!
- Since our team has lots of spare time now, I urge you all to attend X, Y and Z trainings. Trainings and Certification expenses are covered
A very similar scenario has just happened in 2 last workplaces of mine. In both cases I was the one to build the script despite my management's requests to stop wasting time and resources on them.
When I see what is wrong and take some actions to right those wrongs, when superiors build roadblocks for me claiming it's not worth it and in the end I still build my solutions and become the most efficient person/team in the whole department -- that right there is what boosts my ego to the sky and above!! It proves I am actually on the right track. It proves that I in fact have a better understanding than those who should have it.
It just makes me tick!
Looking for another adventure like that :) With more power to change things this time7 -
RANT Incoming
Not necessarily dev related but I need to get this off my chest.
So a bit of a backstory. I had to stay late from school the other day and ended up having to take an Uber home. The ride was fine lady was nice. Everything seems to be going well and there were no signs of any payment failure.
Then yesterday, I had to stay late again. I never said that I had an outstanding balance on my account. Apparently Uber was having problems charging my Android pay account.
So I ended up being stuck at school for like 3 hours. Great!😑
So I emailed Uber when I got home. And this is when I started pulling my hair out. I don't know how many replies I had, but each time I had to tell them that I was not using a prepaid card.
This was one of my replies:
"I'm sorry, are you real? If you are, here is a quick summary of the issue. I am using ANDROID PAY with my CHASE DEBIT CARD. Not, NOT, NOT a prepaid card. I happen to know that CHASE DEBIT CARD(which is the card I use, in case you have already forgotten) works with uber because MY FATHER USES THE EXACT SAME TYPE OF CARD with uber. He uses a CHASE DEBIT CARD(again I use that same type of card as well). So by using LOGIC I am able to deduce that a CHASE DEBIT CARD is in fact compatible. AGAIN THIS IS NOT A PREPAID CARD!!! If the card is incompatible, WHY DOES THE APP ALLOW BE TO ADD IT?!?! Also in response to your last email... Because I am using Android pay, do you really think that an ANDROID would be able to use APPLE pay? Also Google wallet is DISCONTINUED! Finally, PayPal DOES NOT CONNECT TO UBER. Returns a "Server Error." So please stop wasting my time with generic help solutions. Believe me, I have already googled my issue, and nothing comes up. That is why I contacted Uber. I want my driver to be paid, and, uber had made it SO painful with unhelpful "Solutions" to problems that don't even APPLY TO MY ISSUE. No not even mention PREPAID cards in your reply or I will consider you a robot built by monkeys banging their heads on a keyboard. Uber HAS my VALID payment information, USE IT! If there is a phone number I can call, please, enlighten me"
And the response was:
"Thanks for reaching out with this.
Happy to help with this issue you are having.
After reviewing your I can see that the only payment method associated with your account is an ANDROID PAY card and it is also a prepaid card. Some cards and methods are not compatible with our billing processes and can't be used with Uber. This includes prepaid cards."
So I concluded that they are monkeys.
Then Uber banned me from logging into my account because I didn't pay.
So now it is impossible for me to pay because I can't do anything with my account.
Now they want my SSN and a bunch of other shit that I won't give them.
I told them that they were being illogical, and I got the exact same response about the prepaid bullshit.
So I sent them this photo as a goodbye.
I get my driver's licence next weekend, so I won't need Uber anymore. YAY!
Also mind grammatical errors, I talked it in and am to lazy to proofread
13 -
"My cousin said he can do it for less. But I like you so blah blah"
Why don't you go your fucking cousin then. Stop wasting my time.3 -
Dear Android:
I know I'm not on wifi. I get it. Sometimes data coverage isn't amazing or the network is congested. It's cool. You can just flash "no service" and I just won't try. or even "3G" and I'll have some patience. I rember how slow 3G was. It's okay, I'll wait.
But fucking stop showing 4G LTE if you can't make a fucking GET request for a 2kb text file in less than 5 minutes! Fucking really? Don't fucking lie to me with your false hope bullshit, just tell me the truth and I'll probably sigh and say shit and put my phone away.
But fuck you and your progress bar externally stuck in the middle. As if to say you're making progress! Wasting my time!
If you can't download a kilobyte in a 5min period, why even say I have data at all? What good does that do me?23 -
So i've been put in charge of bringing the devs together to form a small dev team, instead of having 3 separate devs (including me) sitting apart on separate projects. The idea was to have us talk more, work together more, learn more about the other projects, reuse more code etc.
(I've been arguing to let us do this for a while)
So I asked my manager could we move to the 4 desks in the corner, so we can have our own space, talk without having to book a meeting room each time etc. Its also a bit quieter over there and we all really need that in our noisy office.
Manager sent me an IM today while I was working from home to tell me we can have the desks. Was super happy, messaged the devs to tell them they can start moving.
Just got a message from one of them to say our manager has started moving his stuff over too. Seems he agreed with me that it is quieter over there and he doesn't like the noise either ... so he's joining us.
A huge part of the move was us wanting to work on side projects to automate and speed up various things in the team, that he has been against. We know we can make huge improvements but he doesn't see it. He's only interested in Word, Excel and Powerpoint.
So now we have our space, and anytime we try to work on something we are actually interested in, we'll have a little voice in the corner to pop up and point out what other things he deems more important and tell us to stop wasting our time.
Pretty fucking annoyed to be so happy and then get shot down like that. Happy weekend everyone!!9 -
Here's a follow-up to my New Year's resolutions rant six months ago:
( https://devrant.com/rants/1117379/... )
I've completed (or made significant strides in) 5 of my 7 resolutions:
1) Rid and keep my like free of toxic people. This includes parents.
I have had a serious conversation with everyone who made my life worse and whom I wanted to keep around, outlining my issues with them and my expectations should they want to remain in my life. I happily cut out everyone who refused to change their behavior, including my parents. My life is quieter now, and much nicer.
3) Take care of myself for a change!
I've started this, but with work, a monster, etc. it's been almost prohibitively difficult. Minimal lasting progress despite considerable effort. I will make more time for it and make it happen. (I was down 12 pounds at one point! Though this isn't just about weight.)
4) Stop putting up with things I don't have to.
If I don't like something optional, snip snip!
I no longer wait patiently (fuming) for slow-moving people. If something prevents me from being productive or going about my day, I no longer let it. Carpe diem; calcitrare culus! I have been much more productive and energetic because of this.
5) Actually enjoy things I enjoy.
Okay, this one is very difficult. Whenever I'm not working, I feel like I'm wasting my time. However, I have made a conceited effort every day to take time off and do something that sounds fun. Sometimes that's more work, but usually it's music, a game, a book, exercise, or bed. I'm still working on actually enjoying my time away from work, however, but I'm making progress!
7) Finish de-googling my life.
I no longer use a gmail account (except a work-provided account), nor do I use any of their services unless absolutely necessary (and I do so through TOR). My phone still has Google Play Services; however, I'm working on finding a replacement that I can @Root. (Suggestions welcome!)
------
The two resolutions I haven't yet addressed:
2) Find a well-paying job that isn't also toxic.
My job has gotten less toxic of late, with the boss actually listening and everyone writing up feature requests (with co-sponsors) instead of just dumping them in my lap. I perform an effort analysis on them, and everyone discusses them as a team to determine which actually deserve development time. This is tens of times better than before. I also no longer have to be at the office. In fact, I haven't been there in months -- and don't even remember the alarm codes haha. I may also be getting another developer, though I suspect this is actually a lie.
6) Finally buy a harp. I've wanted one since I was 3 ffs.
I haven't done any research yet on which harp(s) I should buy. Also, I have no idea where I would keep it, so I may defer this until we move, or just get a tiny one (lap-sized and cute!) to practice on. Probably both!
------
It's been six moths, and I'm happy with my progress. 😄9 -
"Nothing good will ever come of this computer thing of yours. Stop wasting time and learn something useful."
. . .
My Mom was telling me this for years.4 -
Been a while since my last real proper rant.
Multiple projects. Business side going into panic mid. Devs are staying cool as usual.
We, devs, have to hold hands so they don't completely break down.
We are wasting precious time in order to rub their feelings.
Get. Your. Shit. Together.
Or atleast, go cry in a corner AND LET US FUCKING WORK.
STOP. FUCKING. SPAMMING.
Can't fucking work for more than 10 mins.
I go take a shit, I have 200 notifications when I'm back.
Omfg their lives must be so hard, really. How can you fucking go into full retard whenever there's a small roadblock.
DO. YOUR. FUCKING. JOB. And let me do mine.
As soon as you let us work, issues are going to be solved, you'll be less stressed and everything will be fine.
Keep asking the same questions over and over, arguing on non-critical things (who cares about wordings... it's 1min change) and the stress will only build up for everyone.
DAMN. Fuck off, fucking emotional idiots.8 -
STOP SHITTING ON PROGRAMMING LANGUAGES.
Now, I'm not talking to the people that don't take it too serious, but rather to people that think their language is superior and others inferior. Why shit on PHP? A lot of stuff is build with this, including devRant. For me, I'd love to learn any languages that has a proper use for me. (With this sentence I'm excluding all exoteric languages, because they are useless) If anyone says, Python is awesome as fuck, yeah, I FUCKING AGREE. Anyone telling me anything is crap, I disagree. If it's that terrible, how do you know about it? If it was never used ever in a project, how can you know its terrible? You can't. Unless you coded that thing yourself.
Next time don't waste your time on shit like that. I AM ALSO LOOKING AT THE HOLY WAR APPLE VS MICROSOFT VS LINUX
STOP WASTING YOUR TIME WITH SHIT LIKE THIS.18 -
Paper: "Net worth of Jeff Bezos crossed $150 billion"
Me: Why do I give a shit? It was at 132B before, now it's 150B. He was the richest guy before, he still is now. Apart from a few numbers on paper, nothing's really changed. Show some real news and stop wasting my time with this shit.7 -
They always say "Stop wasting time".
They always say "Just use the tools we are all using".
They always say "I get it, you're the OSS guy. IDC, go to work now".
They always say "I hope you won't be logging this time on our customer's timesheet".
And they always come back to me "Look, I've heard that tool you've made/found is really cool and efficient, saves lots of trouble and makes us go faster. Can you send it to me via slack? TIA"
I see things that could/should work better and I make them do exactly that. It's my gift. It's my curse.3 -
"I'm getting an error. It's just not working right."
Stupidest. Bug. Report. Ever.
Please stop wasting our time with tickets like this people, it only requires is to then spend more time just figuring out what the issue is.
🙄🔫4 -
A close friend of mine is in his third term in university studying software engineering, asked me how did I land my first job so quickly after graduation.
His question made me stop for few seconds and ask myself, how would my life would've been without Coursera , Udacity, codeacademy and css-tricks.
I literally spent 2 years wasting time in uni then I discovered these sites and started learning while studying just enough to pass subjects that really has no benefit for the future whatsoever.
Even with subjects like data structures and AI, which should be interesting, it was 40℅ theory and the practical part was to complement the theory part, it was never for real world examples.
Kinda feel bad for my friend because he'll end up feeling the same frustration I went through at university.
Even now a year after graduating I feel that the only benefit of my degree was legal.
When would this silly system change ? If university courses can be specialized like online courses wouldn't it bring better talent to the market? And why governments don't take action towards this?2 -
Here's a real tip for people new to the industry.
It's one of those things that's been said over and over again but very few can really seem to employ. I suggest you learn it /well/.
You are not your code. Criticisms of your code, ideas, or your thought processes, is not a criticism of YOU. You absolutely cannot take criticisms of your work personally.
We are engineers. We strive to seek the best solution at all times.
If someone has found a problem with your code or with an idea or whatnot, it is coming from a place of "this is not the best solution", NOT "you're an idiot".
It's coming from a place of "I'm closing this PR because it is not a change I feel suits this project", NOT "I'm closing this PR because it's coming from a woman".
It's coming from a place of "This feature request is ridiculous/this bug is not actually a bug", NOT "you're a fucking idiot, fuck you".
It's coming from a place of "I've already had to address this in a number of issues before and it's eaten up a considerable amount of my time already", NOT "I don't even know you and this I don't have time for a nobody".
You do not get to be bitchy to maintainers because they denied your request. It's not a reflection of you at all. But if you're arguing with someone who has maintained a piece of code for almost a decade, and they're telling you something authoritative, believe them. They're probably smarter than you on this subject. They've probably thought about it more. They've probably seen their code used in many different places. They have more experience than you with that codebase in almost all cases.
Believe me, if we cared about who was behind all of the issues, pull requests, etc. we get, we'd get NOTHING done. Stop taking shit personally. It's a skill, not a defense mechanism. Nobody has the time to sugar coat every little thing.
Let's normalize directness and stop wasting time during technical discussions into opportunities for ego-stroking and circle-jerking and back-patting.8 -
How come it is so hard to find good developers. Have been doing interviews for a couple of weeks now (for a senior PHP developer role).
First round is me talking about the function and company, asking questions about candidates experience, wishes and we usually end in some tech conversations. Most of the resumes I got are pretty fucking good. I mean, experience with low-level languages, experience with the problems we need to solve here, contributions to open-source, experience in R and MathLab etc etc. On paper they look perfect.
For the second round I give them an assessment which they can do at home on their own machine in their own time. It's not a hard one, just some mathmatical problems they need to solve. A quick google GIVES the answer (no joke!!). But that's OK, I look at their code cleanliness, proper use of commenting so I can determine if they are solo-developers or fit good in a team and if they abstract repeated functions and make sure that they take their work seriously, you know the drill.
It pisses me off that I get BROKEN FUCKING CODE WHICH DOES NOT EVEN RUN and that I get code back which I look at and makes me vomit instantly, I mean, DO YOU EVEN TAKE YOUR PROFESSION SERIOUS? How dare you to ask for 50k the year, a lease-car, extra bonusses AND YOUR FUCKING CODE SPITS OUT COMPLETLY WRONG ANSWERS OR DOES NOT EVEN RUN WHAT THE FUCK DUDE GO BACK TO FROM WHICH EVER HOLE YOU CRAWLED OUT AND STOP WASTING OTHER PEOPLES TIME WITH YOUR FUCKING INCOMPENTENCE...19 -
Dear project managers.
Go fuck yourselves, stop hindering me in my ability to do my job. My job is to get the job done, I know exactly what exists where. If I request something, fucking get me it you useless cunts.
You're wasting time and resources with your lack of technical knowledge and making life difficult for the rest of us.
Sincerely, Frustrated Developers everywhere. -
When you get a ticket saying that a user can't see a record so the system must be broken, then after an hour of looking into it; said record never existed... Please stop wasting my time -_-
-
For the Nth time in a row now, the team has met...
...with no agenda...
...with no note-taking...
...with no off-topic course correction...
...and has gone almost an hour over time.
Please stop doing this oh my god, we're wasting time and nobody has a fucking source when two months later somebody asks when/why this was decided and our only answer is "uh we agreed at some point" and we do this all over again.2 -
Much obliged if you stop reloading the folder and searching it every five fucking seconds you fucking cunts.
Good god damn this fucking 'feature' of windows 10 grinds my fucking gears. I hit 'x' to stop seeing the visual distraction of the fucking green loading bar when the folders already loaded. Same thing with music. All I want it to do is open and play my fucking song.
Does it do that?
No instead it spends precious cycles updating fucking indexes or sprinkling crack rocks on the corpse of my cpu or whatever cycle fairies at fucking microsoft programmed it to do while wasting my fucking time.
I wish I had a brick and a microsoft programmer within throwing distance, I'd be sorely tempted to nail the motherfucker square in his fucking big fat melon.
Cunts.
fuck count: 8
7 -
This bus driver really has to stop wasting my fucking time. He was 8 minutes late in the first place (this line is NEVER late) and then he took a 10 minute detour which means I'll be 2 trains late for work. Fucking great start on the week!5
-
I fucking hate morning people like the one in the story below!
Before we begin story time I want to acknowledge some things.
This is largely a case of a person having a lack of awareness and giving in to their base instincts (which are wrong).
People all tend to think that everyone else is like them (most children below a certain age cannot make this distinction and many adults never learn it either).
To take it a step further, anyone who isn't just like them is Lazy/Bad/An Asshole/etc.
FUCK THOSE PEOPLE
Now it's story time...
---------
I worked for a startup. We used a modified SCRUM, and we had standups every day @ 10 AM, the other team had then at 11:30 AM.
We get a new product owner. He is a morning person. But basically, he is a day-trader so he wakes up at 5 AM to trade and is in the office by 8 AM every day.
The problem is, he uses this as a reason to leave every day at 3 PM when EVERY other member of the team is there until at least 5 PM.
So he says one day (when I am not there) that we are moving our standups to 8:30 AM...
"Because he wants to make more use of the time and wants to get more done!"
So the next day a bunch of us miss this standup, the second day I was there in time but instead of going to the standup I sent them a picture of myself sitting in a coffee shop across the street with a message saying...
"I will be holding a meeting today at 10 AM, I expect EVERYONE to be there. If anyone on our team is absent then we will sit there and that absent person will be responsible for the time we waste waiting for them."
10 AM rolls around and the Product Owner is nowhere to be seen. The team starts complaining about the early standup and I tell them that this meeting is for me to take care of it. I tell them to sit silently and let me handle it.
We all message the PO saying the same thing...
"Come to the meeting, You are wasting our time!!!"
So he shows up at 10:20 AM and it begins.
(Now I'm going to do this as a conversation)
PO: "So I assume this is about the standup?..."
ME: "Feel free to ramble on as long as you want, you have already wasted 20 minutes of our time so we will sit here quietly and wait for you to decide you are ready to stop wasting our time with your ramblings. That's fine."
<PO then shuts up in disbelief>
ME: "So are you finished?"
PO: ...
ME: "I'm expecting an answer PO!"
PO: Yes, for now.
ME: I am moving our standups to 5 PM, end of discussion.
PO: Becuase your too lazy to be here by 8 AM?
<I expected this>
ME: No because I'm an asshole who expect everyone to conform to my schedule.
PO: ..., Well, I am not here at 5 PM.
ME: Sounds like your too "lazy" be here at 5 PM, eh?
PO: I have other things I do then.
ME: Ah, now the truth comes out. You care more about your life than our business. That's unacceptable! I personally don't care what you want to do. The fact is that we are working here and every day we end up having PO questions that need to and can't be answered because you are not here.
PO: <To the team> The standup is still at 8:30 AM.
ME: <To the team> The standup is at 5 PM. End of story. And from now on whenever we have questions before 5 for PO and he is not here we will be recording it and putting it in his report.
Then I walk away.
That day we held a standup at 5 PM. He wasn't there. He held a standup at 8:30 AM and he didn't even show up. He stayed home a video in. He then arrived in the office and said...
PO: Since no one was in the standup today we will be moving it back to 10 AM.
ME: Since PO has seen the selfishness of his ways, We will be moving the standup from 5 PM back to 10 AM.
FUCK THOSE PEOPLE6 -
Guys, I have all symptoms of wasting time in bad work (can't stop thinking about it, anxious, can't relax, can't focus on a hobby, etc.)
But - how the hell you can know if next company won't be even worse? How can you be at least basically sure that today's "bad" isn't that bad in comparison to your next employer?6 -
FaceTime is not instant access in to my space. I can ignore that too. Every time you want to tell me you've sent me the logo sets me back 15 minutes. Do I really need to fucking see you to tell me that shit. It's not for you to reel off a load of requests either... when you have finished don't you here me say "put it in an email and I'll get back to you". Stop wasting my fucking time. FaceTime.1
-
I'm very short tempered at the moment.
A lot like Dr Cox in Scrubs.
And really ... You mother fucking stupid idiotic developers with your tendency to discuss absolutely everything just to not have to work for a dozen more minutes...
But ok. Let's discuss.
But even that seems to be absolutely impossible for you little shitheads.
Instead of discussing solutions, nooooooooo....
We're grown up developers so we discuss how the baddy manager hurt our lil feelings by saying that we're morons for wasting all the fucking time without coming up with a solution.
Now my lil cry babies, once the baddy manager got your pacifiers so at least once in an hour my migraine finally calms down for not hearing your bitching pathetic lil whiny noises...
Face it. Over the years you collected a huge ton of mother fucking tech debt because no one of you actually took a bit of time to use that empty space in your head to think at least a mu further than the dumb jira task you were given.
And yes. That ends badly.
And yes. As it is now in a state of cluster fuck, guess what. You have to work. You get money for it, remember?
And yes. if you would stop moping and bitching and crying and being a pathetic lil piece of shit, you'd realize we could come up with solutions very fast.
But nooo... Let's talk about our feelings.
And how we are over worked.
And how nothing works.
Cause yes. That will be the hail mary that saves us all.
Let me give u a hint: it's a mother fucking waste of time bitches.
I think it's time I put a pacifier not only in your mouth, but arse too. Maybe it helps overcoming the anal and oral phase of childhood so we can at least have something close to adult talk.
*breathes in*
Gooozfraba.3 -
Windows being like... "60secs left! Nonono wait it's 50mins! Aaah i wanted to say 10. It's definitely 5 now, i am sure this time, 16 is correct!"
God damn it stop wasting computation power for this boolshit and copy faster instead!!!4 -
Emailed my PM a new project spec, the next morning he emails me back saying, to stop wasting time and get back to "real" work.
A few days later we had a Skype meeting with senior management and the PM who rejected the spec to go over that same spec document among other projects, everyone agrees it's a good idea including the PM :D
FML.1 -
Stop wasting time setting up continuous integration environment and get on with real work.
2 days later: why aren't we using continuous integration, the plan says we have to. -
f it ain't broke, don't fix it!
I feared my Android phone's touchscreen suffered severe damage from using it in the rain, until I discovered that the 3-button navigation stopped working after an Android 12 security update (both in Nova launcher as well as in official Google Pixel launcher). Wasted time drying the unplugged phone and googling for repair options before finally wasting more time changing system settings back and forth, rebooting, changing system settings, rebooting, etc.
Remember those happy times before mobile phones have been invented, which of course I don't really want back either. I just want developers to stop breaking features that used to work. Regression testing outside the happy path, anyone? I mean, it's not a hacked maker project, it's a commercial phone that I bought and intend to use with the latest official software. Don't want to think about the next breaking changes that Android 13 might bring.9 -
Anyone who formats their code manually is a fuck there I said it.
Also stop using a tool that has no contextual understanding of your code. You're wasting more so much fucking time trying to guess shit that an ide would automatically know and doing stuff that an ide would automatically do.4 -
Meetings.
Too many meetings.
"Why do you explain...." 10kv electrical shock.
Explanation so everyone has the same knowledge.
"But CD ES process of LCE..." Water. From the emergency hose. In the face.
For fucks sake, we are using speech in a meeting so stop using motherfucking abbreviations you shit hole.
"We had bugs". Taking an hot iron and shoving it somewhere nice.
Explain - what the fuck are you talking about? What bugs? Tickets? Documentation? Implications of the bugs? Hate. Much hate.
Um. I don't know. Maybe. But if.
Thumb wrenches.
Please, stop wasting time, if it's non important, a " No " doesn't hurt....
Let me show you. (4k Monitor, 10 px font, bright neon colors, IDE looks like LSD trip in bad).
Crucification.
If you present stuff, good - but for christs sake, shove your motherfucking shitty IDE setting in your own arse and turn on presentation mode with neutral colors - bright or dark mode, I don't care, but readable without danger of seizure.
I can't stream my monitor right now because of "bla" "blabla" (some private shit that has ZERO to do with work).
I'll need some oxy if this goes on.2 -
Windows 10 updating, decides it would be cool to install gigabytes of sdk, edge, and other bloatware without asking first, on a metered connection i use for work.
Guys, between you there and those fanboy demons in cupertino, one wants to just shut it all off and return to monke.
Sidenote this, because all of this nonsense started on that crap called Windows 8, which was in the end caused to copy that Unholy crap (sold as gold) that is Apple's range of products. It's a company that sells designs nowadays, like Prada, to say, Jobs era is long gone. Everything related to Apple, Mac, Safari, Development, Gaming, UI/UX, productivity and whatever is a
f***ing Nightmare.
We alreay have a global plague, and Apple exists, we dont' need you too making another catastrophe.
All this said,
Use your goddamn trillions to create your own customizable environment that is stable, fast, and WITHOUT BULLSHIT.
I don't give a mindflying F**k of the blurs, i know how to place them with a shell, if i need those. I want control, the shit i decide is going to happen, to happen fast.
This is of Critical importance, because it defines my productivity. And considering we're all sealed indoors since 2019, i want to get away from my pc asap and live my life, instead of spending time(and money, in this moment of emergency) fixing your F**kfests, or else seeing my pc slowing down to death.
First: IF i want stuff on my pc, I know how to install something, thank you.
Second: You can take it, all your Useless - Bugged as Hell - Nonsensical - and of no practical use Bloatware, and shove it deep in your Backdoor.
I'll debloat my pc with batches again, and there's nothing you can do to stop me doing that at every update you force me into.
So please, stop wasting my time, and yours.4 -
Github's issue reference menu can't even fit all of the duplicate issues for the one you just opened, you twat.
Stop wasting my time.1 -
I swear to God, at times it seems like our QA team have never looked at our fucking product before.
"Where's X" or "Why does Y look like this?"
I am understanding when it comes to confusion, but you can answer 99% of your own questions. Stop wasting my time and be self-directed once and a while -
Update about my boss:
I was early too judge. Maybe still early to form an opinion.
But dude seems pretty level headed. Yes, he is agressive. Yes, he has weird way of complicating things.
But I got to learn things from him. I earned his trust, just like I did in the past with other managers. He is confident about my performance now. He gave me space to ramp up and pushed me to limits.
But now, Floyd is settled. Maybe with time, I might get occasional unpleasant interactions, but those are part of every job.
However, we as a society decided to be in agile mode. Fix a problem and the solution gives rise to another one.
The business head of my pod is going crazy over the deliverables.
They were surviving for years with a product manager. Everything was driven by tech without any research.
And now when I am in, they want everything to be done yesterday.
We spent some decent amount of time on strategy and it turned out to be good. Now they are questioning that why ain't I delivering?!
It's been a week we finalised the strategy, let me get some space and time to structure and plan the execution.
Business heads are pretty nice and level headed people. Just that I don't understand the sense of urgency. I get it that my pod often has to deal with fire fighting given the nature of the business, but holy fuck! Stop pressurising to deliver everything together on a war foot.
They are like, we'll ask for more resources. But whose gonna tell them that 9 women cannot deliver a baby in 1 month.
I need time for discovery and research. Without that, don't expect impact.
As the only PM space, leading the entire vertical, how can I even focus on multiple initiatives?
I really miss my previous life of my first company. It's exactly an year when I left them and I changed two companies since then.
My learning and earnings sky rocketed, but WLB took a toll.
I miss the time when I could finish my work in an hour and did whatever the fuck I want while at work like browsing new topics to learn, exploring places, attending events, connecting with people, making social posts to learn, finance as a hobby, yada yada..
These days, I feel too burned out. Not that I am worried about job stability, because I trust my skills.
But more due to the fact that I have to constantly focus on work for the time I am in office. No free space or time to collect myself together, process things, and focus.
This leads me to thinking about work (read processing office discussions), at home too.
I cannot enjoy music. Feels like a load.
I no longer attend events or meet people after work. No more wasting time on the internet.
And most importantly, I am not bored anymore. I miss being bored. I miss living a boring, mediocre lifestyle.
I miss doing my side projects and polishing my portfolio site ten times a day, because I got nothing better to do.
I used to spend time learning right grammar and why American and English words are different and which to use where.
I miss spending time of Google Maps exploring borders and remote regions.
Weekends fly by. No hobby to pursue. No free time.
I miss the days when I had nothing to do and I was bored and I could do anything.
I used to be always happy. Because no responsibilities. I used to be always up for a meetup. I used to be available for a phone call.
Now it's nothing but work which is surely exciting and some foundational learning with good enough money, but I miss my time when I used to get bored because I had nothing to do.5 -
This shit is long story of my computer experience over my lifetime.
When I was young I got my first PC with windows it was not so bad. It required safe shut down of it’s fat32 partition. From time to time I needed to reinstall it cause of slow down but I got used to it I was only a gamer.
Time passes and I got more curious about computers and about this linux. Everything worked there but installation of anything was complete madness and none of windows programs worked well, and I wanted to play games and be productive so I sticked with windows.
I bought hp laptop once with nvidia card, it was overheating and got broken. So I bought toshiba and all I told to the seller was I want ATI card. Took me 5 minutes to do it and I was faster then my friend buying pack of cigarettes because I was earning money using computer.
Then I grown up running my small one person programming businesses and I wanted to run and compile every fucking program on this world. I wanted linux shell commands. I wanted package manager, and I wanted my os to be simple because I wasn’t earning money by using my os but by programming. So after getting my paycheck I bought mac. I can run windows and linux on vm if I need it. I try not to steal someones work so I didn’t want to run hackintosh. I am using this mac for some time.
Also I use playstation for gaming. Because I only want to run and play game I am not excited about graphics but gameplay. I think I am pragmatic person.
I can tell you something about my mac.
When I close lid it go sleep when I open it wakes up instantly. I never need to wonder if I want to hibernate or shut down or sleep and drain battery. It is fucking simple.
When I want to run or open something it doesn’t want me to wait but it gives me my intellij or terminal or another browser or whatever I search for. Yeah search is something that works.
Despite it got 8 gigs of ram I can run whatever number of programs I want at the same speed. The speed is not very fast sometimes but it’s constant fast.
I have a keychain so my passwords are in one place I can slow down shared internet speed, I can put my wifi in monitor mode and I don’t need to install some 3rd party software.
And now I updated my mac to high sierra, cause it’s free and I want to play with ios compilation. Before I did it I didn’t even backup whole work. I just used time machine and regular backups. And guess what, it still works at the same speed and all I did was click to run update and cook something to eat.
When I got bored I close the lid, when got idea open lid and code shit, not waiting for fucking wakeup or fucking updates.
I wanted to rant apple products I use but they work, they got fucking updates all along at the same time. And all of updates are optional.
I cannot tell that about all apple products but about products I use.
I think I just got old and started to praise my limited time on this world. Not being excited about new crap. When I buy something I choose wisely. I bought iPhone. I can buy latest iPhone x but I bought iPhone 7 cause it’s from fucking metal. And I know that metal is harder then glass, why the fucking apple forgot about it? I don’t know.
I know that I am clumsy and drop stuff. Dropped my phone at least 100 times and nothing.
I am not a apple fan boy I won’t buy mac with this glowing shit above keyboard that would got me blind at night.
I buy something when I know that it can save my time on this world. I try to buy things that make me productive and don’t break after a year.
So now piece of advise, stop wasting your time, buy and update wisely, wait a week or a month or a year when more people buy shit and buy what’s not broken. And if something’s broken rant this shit so next customer can be smarter.
Cheers1 -
mom: stop wasting time on Facebook (still she says like that and I do not have a fb account)
wife: she cant stand me working from home, and when she is home she hangs on my shoulder to see what I am typing. a big distraction. -
Amount of text you need to read to do something the framework way.
At the end it turns out you can’t do it cause nobody thought about it and it’s just another piece of crap for doing simple things. You start digging inside framework code and see that something is wrong. You see copyright Google and you wonder if they have phd for selling their ass on street. Why the fuck you override the validation flag to true every time ?
Then you start invoking couple of methods and one of them works and stops that madness but you don’t know why but you proceed further so you can glue shits together to stop the ship sinking.
At the end after you’ve tried all the “simple” examples that works cause they’re stupid and you need something special you start to think if this framework is so unique and special cause it covers 90% of things, left you with hands full of crap ?
At the end after wasting whole day to change the border color of the input using couple of separate controls the framework way and when you succeeded you ask yourself really ?
One fucking event emit and couple of listeners with style change ? Damn you frameworks with your bidirectional easy fast doing shit.
Another day in paradise.6 -
Client wants me to document the updated patch in the system... In detail. I just want to upgrade their server memory but noooooo. They want me to detail it all in step-by-step, including change impact, description task, expected time duration, back-out plan.
The first time I had to do this, it was cute. But now it's FUCKING ANNOYING ON HOW DETAIL THEY WANT ME TO PUT IN!!!
Client: "OK, so you wanna upgrade the server memory. What do you need to bring into the data centre?"
Me: "Just my laptop. I'm just configuring your underutilised server memory and upgrade it."
Client: "Good. Put that in the document, including your laptop serial #, make and model."
Me: *Screaming internally* -
A recruiter contacted me asking my curriculum (sent), then he sent me some emails before calling me. After some minutes, he said I was not good for the position. But that thing was written on the first line of my cv. Maybe he is not good to read.
Please stop wasting my and your time.4 -
It really annoys me that many tech recruiters do not have a basic knowledge of the roles they are trying to recruit for and what skill set to look for when they cold message/call potential candidates on LinkedIn.
I make it very clear on my profile that I am a Full Stack Engineer. Still, every other day I get messages about Data Engineering, Frontend Dev or SRE roles. Sometimes a recruiter would insist that I schedule a call with them before they tell me the details, and then I would realize after the call what an absolute waste of time it was.
I have a lot of respect for recruiters. It's not an easy job. But I'm starting to strongly believe that tech recruiters should be made to go through a specialized training to make life easy for themselves and to stop wasting time of people who are not even remotely suitable for their requirements. -
!dev
when one of your best domains were taken for a long time and you didn't considered about buying or hijacking it or even thought about what you would even do with it because its taken anyway and you are not an asshole. But then out of nowhere you get an offer to get this domain. and you start thinking... what cool project you could do with it and what it may becomes - and what if your project fails and you wasted a great domainname... but ofcurse you stuggle for too long and the old owner bought it already back again, like he just forgot to renew it and didnt even cared about it that much.
congratulations. you now cant stop thinking about this cool project and what it could may be. instead you see someone else wasting it...
as if dev life is not depressing enough. back to localhost :( -
Screw wasting time reading blogs and all the bloggers' cliché content like "10 tips to become a better developer" or "10 ways to boost productivity"
I already know I should take care of my body so STFU. Go back to actually building something and stop broadcasting your noobness like a talentless "Instagram Influencer"!!1 -
Argument in the office today when the designers went rogue, ignoring the PM's agreed plan with the client and started mock-ups for what they thought would look better. Boiled down to "No. Just stop that and do what I asked, you're wasting your time." vs "No, we're doing this. I'm a designer, I know this will look better."
Anyone else had issues with designers trying to take charge?3 -
(I am not a native english speaker so please excuse any mistakes I make while writing this)
I know, during an internship, its good to see all different sides of the job and of course QA is one of them. Its definately good to know as a dev later how QA works, I can see that. But why the F U C K do I have to test the same 3 pages (not websites, PAGES) since 5 days for 8 hours a day even though NOTHING CHANGES?! The page doesn't get updated, I am just sitting there clicking around and wasting my time I could use to learn more PHP or jQuery or WTFEver. But no! I have to sit there for hours and hours, doing nothing but staring at a page where I already tested literally anything that can be tested 4 days ago. If you don't have a good task for me over there in QA, then STOP WASTING MY FUCKING TIME instead of forcing me to continue testing this stupid website even though testing already completed a few days ago!!! I don't even have Test Cases to follow, its just “yea look at this page and click around is something is broken“ for 5 days. There is nothing broken, your fucking website works fine. And now STOP WASTING MY TIME!!!!6 -
Oh china, you always know how to snap me out of long stints of mundane and/or annoying, chore-esq work.
//...and letting me excuse a 10min, otherwise purely wrong procrastination down a current political rabbit hole
I gotta say, at least in china they are bold enough to put their image and identity on whatever they make... but in that 'im selling pseudo-sex, not because im sexy--just the opposite, so you know I relate' way.
Side note: i got an automated spam call survey yesterday*... it ot got to the 1st (of claimed 3) question.. which had a surprising amount of actual reiterations before looping... it was determined to get opinions(and totally incept the lemmings, soccer moms and politically ignorant into their stance, plus intense rage/disgust/dreams of standing on a soap box and fighting about this new issue they were totally unaware of.)... about this actively serving, politician's demand that china sell tiktok or totally stop allowing any operations/use on american soil... because of the heavily implied heinous nature of controlling and twisting society via media to it's explicitly declared communism... even directly called china, as a whole, communists, with impressive dramatics (and i coached public speaking hs and college kids then over a decade of business consulting, typically involving coaching vocals and implicit vocab)
I actually listened to it because it's what a typical subject, brought out of the koolaid fog, would view as ridiculously ironic(assuming they knew the actual, and therefore inherently ironic, def if irony... most dont. It's disturbing)... but it you have decent common sense, and dont emotionally view your entirety as wrong/broken/needing to be fixed in a cult-like manner, it's the oposite of irony. History of/and politics pull this crap all the time. It still works.
It reminds me of how my moniker, awesomeest, came about. In 3rd grade i realised that even adults, knowing they were chatting with an 8yr old, even if they knew/used the correct spelling of a, less common, term... if i misspelled it as if i thought it was right, theyd actually change their spelling to match (in perpetuity) albeit my vocab was easily high school level by then...likely at least in part to my flawless(aka blind/ignorant) demeanor of confidence that whatever i said/thought was totally correct, as a matter of fact. Not like the insecure ppl trying to prove something
I used to find it so comical... now it's just sad.
This bs automated political spam/manipulation is the modern version of i remember of kids farting in the late 90s... the culprit quickly accusing someone else of their offense, but even extra immature kids 25+ yrs ago figured that out... and even made the retort a catchy rhyme..."the one who smelt it, dealt it"
*i basically programmed in a counter attack/something akin to immature passive aggressive ' who"s really the one wasting the other's time and resources now?!? Ha!' ...odd numbers automatically go into a sort of echo chamber instead of ringing, with a manual escape to actually ringing/calling prompt built in.
I can listen in at any time without it having any effecf/sound too.
I'm curious if anyone participates in these minor acts of terrorism to complete an unrequested, intrusive, and human-less format of a proclaimed opinion poll? And if you do, are you honest? Why do you do it?
Annoyance at spam aside... the real victim I mentally mourn, and view it's method of demise akin to a cardinal sin (assuming religion...blah blah)... is the data! I <3 data... good, unobscured, not contrived, simple, pure, raw data... killed before its birth :'(
5 -
Came in office and a ton of sites are suddenly being blocked.
It never was.
Proceed to continue to work, but cannot connect to iTunes Connect.
Not sure if boss wants to stop me from wasting my time on Youtube and working too 🤔3 -
Application process:
Interview with internal recruiter
Coding test that doesn't even remotely resemble real world problems
Technical phone screen
Phone call with vp of engineering
More "formal" technical screen
In person interview
FFS, either you want me or you don't. Stop wasting my time. -
So let me get this straight.
- You propose a tutorial about how to create an e-commerce website using Laravel, with a shitty powerpoint-like display
- We have to click "next" to learn the basics of PHP, MVC, Laravel, Mix and such, while all I need to know is about the payment system and global logic
- On the last PowerPoint, you suddenly decide that you should finally think about displaying some actual code while all before was theoric class
- So the last powerpoint page is 45 times longer than any other previous pages.
- Of course, there was nothing about what I was looking for.
You should consider stop wasting everyone's time as a 2018 new resolution.1 -
Unlocking your potential takes time.
Throwing away time is so easy to do and we are all guilty of it. How much of your time have you wasted not living up to your potential? The answer is brutal and may overwhelm you.
You have probably wasted some of your time but at least you haven’t wasted your whole life, yet.
You still have time and that’s the best reason to stop wasting it and unlock more of your potential. It hurts to know you have been lazy or procrastinated, but it hurts even more to ignore that fact and pretend everything is great.
source: https://psiloveyou.xyz/overwhelming...
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