Tech Industry: “We need more developers!”

NewDev: “Hire me”

Tech Industry: “only experienced developers please! We don’t have time to train juniors ”

Older Dev: “Hire me”

Tech Industry: “no, you want too much money and too much time off“

Mid dev: “Hire me”

Tech Industry: “only experienced devs who are a culture fit!”

Robot dev: “Hire me”

Tech Industry: “You are Hired”

1. I agree to work with you on your startup idea because i believe in you.
2. I am the solo developer doing both the mobile apps, website, database and server side.
3.You call me shouting and complaining that i am too slow.

4. sudo rm -rf ~/your_project

Me : You should try this app, its great!
Friend: What is about?
Me : A place where programmers and developers tell jokes and complain to each other
Friend : But you can do that i real life too
Me : But now you don't have to leave your computer to do that

when you google way too much and you need to prove 'im not a robot'😐

So i sent my bill to the client yesterday and:

C: the amount is too high i can’t pay this
M: but you validate the number of working days
C: but the amount is huge ... nevermind i’ll pay you because you are good guy
M: ...

When you are too much of a techie and forget you can just nod

Android : devRant is consuming too much power in background
Me : Say what ??
A : I said devRant is consuming too much pow.................
M : Who the fuck told you to rant about it
*Turns the phone off

No one speaks ill of devRant and lives long enough to tell about it.

External company HR: We are sorry to hear you've decided to turn down our offer. You made a great impression and we thought you'd be a good fit. If you change your mind please let us know.

Me: I too am sorry you didn't tell me you were moving to the other-side of the county in two weeks, making it impossible for me to travel to and from work. I too have feelings about having done all the interviews and this being the end result. Thank you

When you design something and it becomes something else but you're too lazy to re-design it.

That moment when your too busy and concentrated programming and your wife asks you for the credit card and you give it to her .... to later realize she never cam back with that glass of juice and you remember today is black Friday..... ohh shit!! 😲

When you drink a little too much and wake up to find you wrote a program called baconTranslator that translates everything you type to 'I love bacon"...

When you work too late and can't mentally switch off so you just start the next day without any sleep

Citizens are advised not to use encryption as decrypting data takes too​ much time and is costly.
Please spread awareness and save money.

Thank you for Cooperating, have a nice day :)

Oh you're a frontend guy? Good, we need one of those.

Oh you're a backend guy too? Good, we need one of those.

Oh you're a security guy too? Good, we need one of those.

Oh you're a devops guy too? Good, we need one of those.

Oh you're a QA guy too? Good, we need one of those.

Oh you're an SEO guy too? Good, we need one of those.

"Well, sorry to say fullStackCraft, but we found your cloud architecture skills just a little too lacking for this position. We really need someone who can do frontend, backend, security audits, QA assessments, SEO, AND build scaling cloud architecture. Oh and while you're at it, can you turn fucking water into gold? We need that at our company too. You didn't get the position, but it'd be great if you could refer us to someone who is very advanced in fucking alchemy. Thanks!"

Absolutely toxic the way software people are treated I swear. The money may be the only good thing that is left.

Try to click quickly on this button multiple times and the play store will crash. If you implement this sort button on your own app this will crash too. #google_guidelines 😡

!rant

My personal wisdom of the day: You know you are getting older if you are too lazy to crack you program licenses and instead buy them legally.

* Boss gives you a shitty work that doesn't follow standards

* you tell him that this is wrong, and there will be consequences on time and performance on the future.

*he insists

*you do the work like he says

*after a while he asks for modifications

*takes too long because of structure problems, and non compatibility

*you get blamed

*you hate your job, your boss and your life.

My fellow students as high school freshmen: You can code right?
Me: Yup
Them: So can you like hack the school and better my grades(they are all honor students btw)
Me: *Sure, want me to hack paypal and get you some cash too?*
Them: Jeez just asked for a tiny favor.

!dev

First night at a camping: waking up a gazillion times at night, everything hurts and I've got a headache.

Good morning to you too 😑

You know you are on devRant too much when you try and double tap to like a post on Facebook 😬

You know you've been watching Silicon Valley too much lately when you drop your food and yell "mother fuck.. Jian Yang."

You know you've been coding too much when you literally dream a solution to a bug you've been working on and wake up in the morning to realize you fixed it in your sleep...

Client: We need video chatting facility in our website
Me: Ok. But it will take more time and effort. It will cost you more too!
Client: Don't build from scratch. We use Skype in our company. Just embed in our website too!
Me: **facepalm**

That moment that you need something but your skillset isn't good enough to make it and your time is too limited to learn it.

I fucking hate those moments.

You know what?
Fuck Webpack and Babel, too.
They're way too complicated and finicky to set up.

I want to write a simple library, not a freaking research paper.

TROPHY WIFE!!!

Say all you want, the job requires tolerance and ability to stroke some ego. Really demanding hours and maintenance too. I just didn't fit the bill.

When your product manager is too nagger and don't let you work with his questions if you finished the tasks or not.. this what happen to the product.

Meetup guy: "oh, I did some coding too. I can write a bit of html and css"

Me: *in my head* I fucking hate people like you.

When you've gotten too used to Jetbrains IDEs that you start pressing enter before finishing any word in Sublime and everyone looks at you like you're a retard when you type

You know you have been using devrant too much when you open it and the algo only gives you rants that you already ++'ed.

Arrived today!
I'm using C++ for machine learning purposes using TensorFlow and OpenCV (rip Python, you are too slow 😭)

What are you using C++ for? 😁

The worst kind of bugs are logical ones, they go undetected, no error, no alert, and when you notice them, it's too late.

FUCK YOU MICROSOFT FUCK YOU FOR MAKING ASP.NET FUCK YOU FOR MAKING IIS AND FUCK YOUR WINDOWS SERVERS TOO

When you wake up the morning and receive a mail :
"We regret to inform you that your application has been rejected ..."
For what reason ?
"You are too ambitious"

When you are so angry about something you slam your fist on the keyboard, break the Enter and surrounding keys, rush to the closest shop that sells keyboards, fail to buy one because they're all too shit, come home and end up fixing your keyboard, then get even more pissed off because you had already gotten excited about that new keyboard, and end up writing shitty comments for shit you haven't even finished yet because you're too pissed off BECAHSE EVERY FUCKING THING IN THIS WORLD IS FUCKING BROKEN AND SHIT. AND NOW I HAVE A MIGRAINE AND MY LEG IS ITCHY FOR SOME STUPID FUCKING REASON!

PM says you are spending too much time testing. Fast forward to a production bug and they are standing behind you while you are frantically coding saying "this should have been tested more".

Customer: The pages x and y are not displayed in the menu of my website.

Me: I've added another menu level. This level wasn't planned. Your pages will now be displayed.

Customer: Do you think I have too much menu levels?

Me (what I want to say): YES. You have too much of EVERYTHING! Too much menu levels, too much useless pages, too much bad formatting, too much different font colors in one fucking sentence! Your website is crap at all.

Me (what I said): No, it's okay.

I hate customers.

Does anyone else know everyone on their notification list by [user]name? Like, glancing at the avatars and think "Hey {name}, what's new?" I'm often right about which comments/rants they've ++'d, too.

I know quite a few of you by name, too 😋

When you start work on Monday and need half a day to remember what you actually did on Friday.
Someone knows this too ?

Whenever you meet someone who tells you he also knows programming

Me: 'So you said you are in programming, too?'
X: 'Yeah, I know how to program websites..'
Me: '..so I guess PHP and stuff?'
X:'No, I program in HTML and some CCS'

Java's System.out.println because it's too effing long to write!
And in general, all of Java because you need an MB of code just for Hello World.

And good morning to you too, devRant 😊😄😀

When you want to code but you are too tired and it's too late to drink coffee.

Hey, guys!

I'm new here and I want to introduce myself and meet you too.

My name is Mariana, I'm 21 years old and I live in Brasilia, capital of Brazil.

I'm a beginer in the world of development and I joined on this community to know more about this world. I am currently studying js, react and react native, but I am passionate about database, in the future I want to work with data science.

And you? Feel free to introduce yourself too! :)

Note to self: don't read devrant right before bed -you get too many breakthrough ideas and motivation and need to sleep instead!

I realized some time ago that when people ask you to do something and it is too generic, if you keep pushing for an explanation they end up getting angry at you as if you are the stupid one.

So funny, I'm always doing it on meetings now and laughing inside :)

.... when you lost your headphones and you realize that the world is too noisy.

*first class*
Teacher: Ok, you have to write if you know how to code, and write the languages too.
Guy in front of me: Yeah! Code!
Me: Hey, you know any language?
Guy: Sure! PHP...
Me: *Hm, okay, maybe he's goo...*
Guy: ...and HTML
Me: ...

This is what I get for wanting to try Arch Linux again.... I even followed a guide so that I don't mess up. 😑 Fuck you Arch Linux and your complicatedness. And fuck you too brain for being Arch Linux dumb.

Hey!
I'm new to devRant
I did not thought that there would be any community where people would speak a programmer's language (read humour) and would be so supportive and encouraging about almost anything. reddit is too informal and stackoverflow, too formal. devRant falls in the Goldilocks zone for programmers. Feels just right!
Thank You for making it so awesome!

Being up for nearly 28 hours, because you are actually too tired to sleep and were too excited to just stand up and continue working again.. 😶

That moment when you shout "i'm a fucking genius" too loud when you find out the solution after 2 hours of brain fuck, and your colleagues think you're crazy

Regular expressions is like a condom, it's safe, combat tested and works most of the time.
But if you use it too much it gets dirty quickly.

Hey, i took a look at your code and heres how you could improve your performance!

"No thanks lol it works this way too"

Okay you fucking idiot, thats not how you do normal distribution

"Why are you so mean"

When you ask Windows to copy two large folders simultaneously and you see : "Time remaining : 1634 years, 156 days and 3 hours".

Sorry I quit, these 3 hours are too long!

!rant

Do you ever find yourself proudly staring at your beautiful code, forgetting everything else and suddenly noticing you've been at it for far too long?

Two programmers have been arrested and currently sit in a jail cell.

Programmer 1: Hey I think we had too much too drink.
Programmer 2: I believe that is a logically assumption.
Officer: You have a phone call.
Programmer 1: Yes, it's my lawyer!

Phone: Is Steve Smith ?
Programmer 1: Yes, who is this?
Phone: Hi, this is Jane calling from Tech Hub Recruiting....
Programmer 1: HOW DID YOU FIND ME?!

So, you ask me for a quote. You know nothing about the technology or the problem, but you think the quote is too high.

On what fucking basis are you assessing the quote? On the number of words? Font? Whether your spouse/cat hates you (both do). Basically, whatever I said, you'd have said it was too high, right?

Fuckwit.

Next time *you* tell *me* how much you have to spend and I'll tell you what you can get for your budget.

Maybe a coffee and a small cake.

Don't fucking call me again.

I wonder if flappy bird dev is in this community. Anyway, I want to ask you guys - What would have you done if you were in his situation?

I hear he removed the game after he saw people are wasting too much time on it.

People waste too much time on porn, Facebook, YouTube and what not. I don't understand his reasoning behind removing the game.

Anyway, what would have you done?

When it keeps happening every time but you're too lazy to fix it because you always remember it at 7am when you want to close the computer and go get some sleep...

Ugh...

the dev team freaked our boss out by being overly nice and polite to him for a whole day .
Normally we're pretty laid back and tease one another, so he was pretty worried.
You know you have an awesome and tight-knit team when your boss threatens to fire all of you for being too nice and you can laugh about it.
#AwesomeBoss

When you develop and test your (Android) app on lower end devices, thinking that if it works on low end devices, it will work on higher end devices too.
And you get crash reports from the higher end (huh! Flagship grade) devices only.

Fuck this code, and fuck you too. I'm going to bed. ☠️

ノಠ益ಠノ彡┻━┻

Vim is super easy, guys! You don't use arrows to navigate around the text, that's too obvious! Instead you use HJKL keys, because it goes Hup, Jleft, Kright and Ldown. You can also use B to go Beginning and E to go to End of the word, oh and W to go to the WstartOfNextWord.

When you forget to uncheck the "RegExp" button in the "find and replace" dialog, and it's too late to undo your changes.

Best thing about being a mobile developer:
Whenever your elders give you shit for being on the phone too much, tell them that you are testing your app and get away with it.

Psst, tech world, fuck you and your so called April fucking Fools jokes. They are anticipated, way too obvious and are not even remotely funny.

My PM refuses to use GitHub to log issues and keeps sending me Google Doc slides because she wants to add pictures. You can do that GitHub too!

The moment when you stayed up far too late setting up a new OS for your PC, stood up too late, it's now 15:09, and you're not sure if you're eating breakfast, lunch or dinner right now

when my relatives know I'm studying IT:
"ooh, did you know that this guy made this and become rich, and this guy made this app and is rich now too, so why haven't you made anything yet?"
//its not that simple...

When you see what worked for someone else with a similar issue on GitHub and run it.

Trust me, I hope I know what I'm doing too.

When you are too lazy to care about margins and paddings

That moment when you as a junior developer is trying to write good, maintainable code and a more senior developer stops by and says "It's too late to start adding good code. I'll help you quick fix it".

That moment when an application you use crashes or bugs, and you definitely know that the developer behind it was too lazy to proper implement it! 😱😱

#thankyoulazybastard 😡

When you're writing in Python and forget which brackets to use but you're too lazy to look it up so you just pick one and hope it works.

372 ERRORS.

Java: Cannot convert int to Boolean.
Me: Wait what?.. Ohhh *cries*

I've had too much Vitamin C / C++..
Not used to computer liking me and not letting me shot my head of.. I love you too, Java ..

How I hate when you can't change notification sounds and/or vibrations... Unless I'm totally blind this includes DevRant too at least on Android 😁

Getting comfortable in one place for too long and stagnating. It can be easy to automate your job until you can just milk it, but sit still too long and your skills will be irrelevant.

People talk about ageism in development... don't let your mind get old and you'll always have job security.

Music is annoying.
Listening to music sometimes helps you focus, and other times distracts you because you're too busy "singing".

Depends on who you ask. Here's a list:
• Computer addict
• "Hey can you add a feature to this device you don't know anything about and its Android app too?"
• Someone who writes software, duh

you know you've been to stackoverflow too much when you post on devrant and expect someone to downvote and start bitching about how you didn't start your post with a capital letter and how as a result your post is unreadable.

When you work from home and your same age cousins do nothing to earn, their parents: "It doesn't matter. He (me) works from home, meaning he does nothing too".

Seriously?

You know you’ve been putting in too many extra hours when you try to use your house key on the office lock and it takes you 30 seconds to realize what’s wrong...

That moment when you know your code can be much shorter and cleaner but you just keep typing because you're too lazy to restructure.

Too everyone who said Europe is DOOMED too due too the recent Lisa of Net Neutrallity,
GO SUCK A BIG FUCKING DICK! AND AFTER THAT GET A ROPE AND FUCKING KILL YOURSELF! AMERICANS FUCKED UP!
AND YOU ALSO CAN GET A COCKFUCKED VPN IF YOUR NOT STUPID ENOUGH!

When your pm forces you to push new features out too quickly and you're slowly digging yourself into a messy hell, knowing you have to one day refactor thousands of lines of code.

Hey since you are here and a Network specialist, could you fix my fridge too?

That moment when you find out your school is using unsalted md5 passwords, and your school project requires using it too... FUCK

If your colleague is irritating you too much and you want to take a revenge.

Then just type chmod 777 -R /

in the terminal and press enter.

See what happens later.

I was born in 1989 and I started to code last year. Do you think it's too late for me and I can't be a pro?😕

Serverless!! because its just too much hassle to manage a shitload of servers when you can just sit back and write code!

You know that you're working too long with SQL Server when you enter your password somewhere and press F5

The moment when NVIDIA realise they just compared there too of the line laptop chip to what is essentially a mid range device... I mean... The math checks out but you know... You compare nano to vim and you know what that looks like

Funny how human brains are never satisfied.

Not much to be done at work today? My job is unproductive and I am wasting my time.

Too much work? You think you fucking own me, bitches!!

Been her for a while and people are always saying @dfox rules, although its true, let's not forget the other master. @trogus you rule too 😎

Never get too comfortable with a language or technology. By the time you master it, it'll probably change. Be adaptable and always be willing to learn new things.

Fucking hate when business people says this to me:
- You have no time to do this, we will find somebody else to do it. (EXCUSE ME? how do you know I have no time? If have no time I WILL TELL YOU)
- Your team is too busy, we will outsource that (IF THAT it's a priority, we WILL DO THAT, fuck you, I'll tell you if we need to outsource or not)
- Requirements are too complex to do now. We will think about it and we will tell you, maybe it's just enough to add a column to db (WHAT? WHAT THE FUCK IS too complex? I didn't even see anything we can call requirement, nor speak with relevant people, so how do you fucking know they are complex if you don't know shit about dev and our platform)

Conclusion
It's true, I have no time, because I don't fucking understand what do you want, so I'm running all day and night doing useless things.

Recently started watching Silicon valley and I'm already in love with it!
Too bad it's not on Netflix and I have to watch it... you know... somewhere else.

when you attend too many talks and conferences and run out of room.

A free advice: Dont let people recognize you on devrant. Its too good to not let your coworkers/mentors know about it and you should realise you must have ranted about them already.

That awkward moment...

... when someone tells you that they have found an amazing technique for a common problem and you are like:

"erhm... I was already using that for years... I thought you knew it too..."

Holy fucking shit germany... what the fuck is wrong with you?! the FUCKING TELECOM CONTROLS MOST OF THE FUCKING INTERNET?! Like holy fucking shit?! And what did they announce? svdsl... SVDSL?! SUPER VECTORING DSL?! I mean... you take the oldest car... make it a little better... you get SDSL... And then? you go for Fiber? no. YOU MAKE THE FUCKING SHIT EVEN DEEPER! You take your OLD FUCKING CAR AND MAKE IT A ZOMBIE! And then you get Super Vectoring DSL... holy shit germany... take your shit together and EXPAND YOUR FUCKING FIBER NETWORK! Fuck.

Use a search engine!* I've known too many beginner developers that refuse to consult the web.

*I should add, make sure you understand what you find. Don't just copy a solution and not learn from it.

When someone is presenting their code for aspects of a terribly made page.

They know you are proficient in 6 different languages, and then still ask "is it too hard for you".
Holding back my comments, just sitting down and smiling inside.

Oh so your deadline is Wednesday and you will travel on Thursday? Let's have a full day meeting on Monday... WELL FUCK YOU TOO!!!

FUCK THESE FUCKING GPDR! FUCK THESE SITES! FUCK EVERY LITTLE COCKSUCKING BASTARD POPUP!
I click DISAGREE ON EVERY FUCKING POPUP! YET THESE BASTARDS SELL MY DATA LIKE EXOTIC BUTTERS! FUCK THEM ALL!

When you want to do a few test deploys (project going into alpha today) and your Internet is too slow to even login to the server 😭

When nobody takes you seriously when you say you don't do it for the money....i genuinely love what i do and you should too.

For the last time, SLOC is not a measure of anything.
Have too many, the code probably isn't DRY.
Have too few, you probably don't follow a style guide and have 120 char lines because you invented "oneliners" which you were so proud of that you had to put it in there.
Have just the right amount, and the code likely suffers from both of these at the same time.

When your old boss is too lazy to write a LinkedIn recommendation for you, and tells you to write it on his behalf and then mail it to him so he can post... Hmm... 🤔

That feeling of regret after you get a not-so-good grade in a class because you were too advanced in the subject matter. "I already know java I don't need to go to class *miss surprise quiz and class work*" <- me in csc 101 and 102 (retook both). Moral of the story: don't learn too fast on your own if you're in school if you get bored really easily.

< 1 year of professional software experience - company: there's too many of you, come back when you have 3 years experience

3 years experience - company: those entry levels have now gotten 3 years experience just like you and now there's too many of you, come back with 7 years experience

7 years - company: too many of you, come back with 20 years

20 years - you: create sentient AI and order it to destroy the company. AI: sorry, I'm looking for an owner with 100 years experience, sorry.

Fuck.

Use light IDE when there's a lot of light around and dark in the dark.
Your eyes will thank you too in the future.

Imagine your manager saying to you: "I've reviewed your salary and I think we are paying you too little, so I would like us to negotiate your raise." - and then proposing a larger sum than you were expecting.

It's 23:00 and I'm too fucking tired to do anything but sleep.

How the fuck you people stay up all night and even develop cool stuff while doing so is beyond my understanding.

#feature
On the 9Gag Android app, you can "scroll" up and down by using the volume up/down, if the music isn't playing. (I think you have to enable this in the setings).

I find this quite convinient, and would love to this here too.

@dfox and @trogus

So ... We have this century old , "respectable" government postal service that delivers and is the standard postal service on the country...

You buy something online and they send with it... 2 weeks...
You buy something online and they use private service... 1 day...

Yeah, fuck you too.

Duplicate question
Too opinion based
Fuck you this is a dumb question

But if you actual got a question and give all the information that's needed nobody fucking responds
Yeah well fuck you StackOverflow
It's like they only want to bash people and not actually help

JS frameworks.

it's great how most are easy to use and very useful.

i dont know why people hate this abundance of choice, if theres too many for you to chose than you need to be more decisive.

I always get a kick out of it when I get to read a hilarious email that was sent in to customer service about our product where the customer is so pissed that they curse everyone out and then they call out the programmers too. "You should fire all your programmers too, they suuckk!!!"

Who else loves that beautiful moment when you wake up fully alert and you can tangibly see the solution to the problem in your project that you went to sleep (too damn late) on, floating right there in the front of your mind?

That moment when you think to use fopen instead of open, and everything comes together magically. Only lost half a day debugging this too!

Current mood:
That irksome moment when you want to rant and vent about a particular workplace incident but wonder if your coworkers are on devrant too.
And they certainly might figure out no matter how cryptic you are.
*puts mask back on*

Fuck you Eclipse! Fuck you OSGi! It is only you that pisses me off like that! You filthy piece o' shit!

Fuck.

FYI: Please stop pretending you cannot find org.eclipse out of a sudden. I know that it's there and you know that too! Why? Because you found it like 30 minutes ago before my break and nothing changed since then!!

Son of bitch!

When a password hint tool throws an error saying your password is too weak, you then remove a symbol and it now works 👌

Just visited StackOverflow and got suprised. You should check it out too.

If you think your app/code is too buggy and you feel ashamed, try Microsoft's lazy buggy retarded not user-friendly Skype for Business and you'll restore your confidence

!Rant.

When you begin to terminate sentences with semicolons; And it feels more natural than using a period. You know you've spent too much time coding;

As a developer I have a problem I have to get over and it's called: negative spiral thinking. It's the biggest impediment to progress (that and bureaucracy).

You sit there facing a problem, you keep focusing on the problem, but the problem spouts other problems and then you care too much about those other problems and you start fussing around, negative thoughts start to spout everywhere and you end up continuously losing your focus.

Blah.

Night time depression+anxiety combo is super fun!

Specially that part that tells you "check your emails" and then you find like 69 more reasons to worry.

I should just call it quits and become a middle manager. Or is it too late? 😬

As a mediocre, how do you understand complex systems? How do you effectively read internal documents and designs so you can take out information for your particular use case?

I feel like my intelligence is less than average and I either deep dive too much or too shallow. I am slow and coming on to a decision about my use case after reading through is next to impossible for me but my teammates are fine with these.

What's the right thing to do as a junior dev when your boss acts too intimidating and gives you feel like you are unwanted?

You know your too addicted to devrant when you have 5 minuets spare so you think to yourself "I'll look at just a few rants" and then the next thing you know it's been an hour or so.

You know what really grinds my gears?

Executive bathrooms. They get gold and marble and all kinds of fancy shit and the rest of us get a linoleum shit box. Who do they think they are? Are they too good to shit and piss with their developers. You know...the people who make the shit that makes them money?

Executives are just overpaid suits who do next to nothing while the rest of us carry their fat asses across the finish line and they are too good to take a shit with us common folk.

When youre hired as a programmer and you miss programming. you code at home Because your work wont let you. Too many documents to create, too many tickets(IT operations) to create and too many phone calls(follow up on IT operations).

It feels like im wasting my days on a job that i dont care. Thank God for self projects.

When you have no work all week long because you finish 3x as fast as the estimates. You ask for more work, and due to "red tape" you can't even work on the back log.

Time to sit and look busy :).

Sadly, this is too common for me... I want to be buried in code and tasks! Not sit and twiddle my thumbs.

If you think you found a solution, think twice.
If the implementation is taking too long (too many changes in different functions and classes to fix a single bug) there may be a better solution, it's never too late to reverse the changes and start again, it's not a shame, in the worst case you will reimplement the same solution, but better, in the best you'll find an easier and better one.

Don't run, even if there's a deadline.
It's much worse having to deal with negative feedbacks later.

When you realize devRant's SEO is pretty decent and you were getting doxxed from your old account so you change your name to fullstackclown 🤡

(tried to include the emoji in it but once again devRant is too smart for me)

"Do you know OOP in Java?"
"No, I don't."
"How about POJO?"
"I dunno too."
"Okay, so what do you know?"
"Pascal."
"Then why do you call yourself a Java programmer, dude?"
"Cuz, I'm a programmer, and I'am a Javanese."
"Oh..."

When you generate code to generate code (boilerplate classes and functions) you realize you're talking it a little too far 😄

Quote by Uncle Bob: “Never forget that, as programmers, you are stakeholders too. Your technical and ethical reputation is on the line. You have a say. You also have feet.”

You know you are way too deep in your project when you start typing "i-n-s" for Instagram and then end up typing insmod in the URL bar instead!

Goddammit Yocto! Why have you rewired my brain?

That moment when you realize that writing “that moment when...” is because you’re too passive and insecure to just say what you really want to say...

Is your office too cold? Centralized aircon and you can't control the temperature? 🙄 hard to type when it is too cold

when TS does its job and team mates complaining that TS is too sensitive!

it does its job you douche, now you do yours!

when your family comes to you to fix every problem with their computer and you're too tired of explaining what you actually do, so you put on your most professional look and hope for the best

Q: Your biggest dev career dream?

A: To finish my thesis, get a job, where I can peacefully code. And to earn enough money (does not mean rich) to just live a comfortable live without worrying about money too much.

Am I asking for too much?
Whats with you? What is your biggest career dream?

Best way to learn 'X' (and X11 too, if you see what I mean :))
1) shitpost on DevRant about how much 'X' is better than Java
2) read the official docs

So, it's too hot, but I'm still quite caffeine dependent so: Espresso on the rocks (add milk and ice coffee mix if you so desire)

Dev Goal : Fix the bugs you said you will solve in 2015, but are still open,
Because you know what fix to do,
And you are too lazy to do it.

And too busy, creating half baked, hacky fixes for new exciting problems.

:D

Here's my new function:

/**
* Output Debugging information and Die
*
* @return hopefully
*/
public function odd()
{
//stuff here
}

Hopefully, you don't have to ODD too much when you write code... like I have to do right now

fuck sakes

Ok, so let's say someone walks into your office and it's after-hours and you have decided to have a go at yourself because you work too much and need to de-stress. My question is, do you quickly stop and ask them what they want, hoping they didn't see what you were doing, or do you just finish?

How do you guys know how much to ask for freelance work? I'm always scared to ask too much and lose a client

Do you too have 8 space tab character in Windows 10?
It's in notepad, cmd and other stuff.
It's fucking wide af.

Personal projects, I think, are 50% of the battle, and projects you are required to complete are the other 50%.

Personal projects encourage you to try new and hard things without too much fear of failure.

Required projects make you learn something and complete it.

Both are absolutely essential to craft a well-rounded dev.

Apparently, drake made a song called "Kiki do you love me".

No. Just no.

Too bad it was you and not MF Doom.

Never stay in a company with a too proprietary stack. Always learn to build things on your own and leave as soon as your growth is stunted and leave you unfulfilled. We deserve better

Don't you hate it when you buy an expensive "gaming" keyboard and the device crash during use ? Mine does that also it lock up the mouse too.

So devRant takes about 4-5 seconds to load after launching it. I have a good internet connection and my phone is fast. Does this happen to you too??

Yo guys, all the ranting aside, I just wanted to remind you that you ALWAYS have a choice, that you should speak up when something bothers you for too long and that you should be aware about all your strengths and unique skills! Just as a reminder ✌️

When you set your Windows machine up the right way, but the ONE time you actually need IE for testing and you realise...

Your past self is way too good for you...

What web charting lib are you using ?
I tried canvasjs, chartjs, google chart..
And for the moment i love Echart, not too verbose

Bug from Win2k still affects Win10. ...hooray...

"max limit of 10 midi drivers? sure, okay. Except they don't disappear after removal, updating drivers and replugging a device into a different USB port both eat up another slot too."

fix: just go fuck with the registry and trim out the driver entries, you'll be fiiiiiiiine

fuck you too MicroPeni$

You know you have been coding with CSS Preprocessor for far too long when you typed this in regular stylesheet and wondering why it doesn't work...

#container {
.wrapper {
text-align: center;
}
}

Why the font doesn't align to center!!! @&$#+%*^

" this person made me mad and blocked me after. You can hack their Facebook right... so I can get the last word "

No I can not. And even if I did posses the knowledge and ability to. Why should I care you were probably being stupid too to them.

I don't care to involve myself in petty people problems. Honestly If they blocked you that should be the end of it grow the fuck up.

It's 10 at night. Too late for people to be bothering me. Especially with stupid stuff.

PISS ON YOUR PANTS BOSS
PISS ON WORDPRESS TOO
GO EAT A TUPLE OF ASS SINGING SPOILED FOODS YOU SPOILED LITTLE KID
GO BANANAS AND EXILE YOURSELF TO OBLIVION

Never “try” to optimise just a bit more just for your own sake if the customer doesn’t ask you too. The next day you may be working on getting the service up and stable again on your holiday day :-(

Programming has taught me
1. Importance of patience, friends and family and yeh StackOverflow too...
2. Importance of small contributions towards dev community.
3. How smaller things can make big changes.
4. Helping others and getting help if you get stuck.
5. Anyone can code, but very few can build robust solutions. Project not just coding but it needs preparation and planning too.
6. Importance of reading documentations, writing test cases, debugger programs.
7. You can learn things even if you have no idea about it. It just takes your interest.

When you come back from work after filling up jira, talking with colleagues during too long stand ups and writing documentation it's time to finally sit down and write some pure code.

!rant

TIL I can help support devRant for less than the cost of a coffee per month. (And you can too, if you're not already) I'm digging the edit time extension and the ++ tag in threads.

Cheers, dfox and trogus!

How do you deal with having too much work on your back but still wanting to help people around you, because you know they are good people and trying their best but they also have too much work to do?

rant
When you come 1000kms away from office to home.. and promise to do WFH and the wifi at home is slow...
Killing me!!
Too many backlogs this sprint...

When you spend hours troubleshooting an issue because you're too smart to turn it off and on again.

It feels that there are different types of tired - when you slept badly but long enough and when you slept fine but too short (and both). There should be different words for them.

hey guess what

commenting "I have this problem too!" does absolutely nothing for a github thread. ABSOLUTELY nothing.

you are bad and you should feel bad

goodbye

@dfox you need to create a site and app like stack overflow and keep this app, so that we can solve problems here and have fun too.. :D

When a client said, ofc you can add this feature all you have to do is to press two buttons!! Oh really??? Come and press them your self if it's too easy for you and I will pay you!!! You little piece of shit!!!!

when you spend way too much time trying to figure out why something isn't working and its because you didn't clear the cache

Don't you love writing a novel, get to a section introducing some of the higher up main characters and you can only remember 3 of the 8 names... Yeah me too 😃🔫

I'm fear this day might come to Software too. You buy a *full* licence for Windows Pro and you get the ServicePack2, because the Windows and SP1 cannot be [for some reason; legally?] used in your area.

What the f...

Don't stay awake for too long
Don't go to bed
I'll make a cup of coffee for your head
I'll get you up and going out of bed

While you're typing and you remember this is not the correct password for this account but you're too lazy to backspace all that state of the art you just wrote so you just ENTER the shit out of that ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

What do you do when people(parents) are telling you to go out and tells you you have no life..just because you spend too much time on the computer..and you are actually spending the time learning stuff techniques and technologies which would help you in the future..it just sucks..it kinda looses your morale in a way...

When your mind is already in mess trying to fix something or too much focused on coding and your boss call you "hey can you fix the printer" . Happened to me 4 times so far .

That one mistake you make in the initial stage and you have to live with it. build your code base around it. Since it will be too expensive to remove it. 😕😕😕😕😬😬😬

One day, you make a full pot of coffee and don't drink much because you're too busy.

There's next day, you make no coffee and wish you had.

Those feels when you are waiting for a call or an email about a job you really really want and it's friday and you know it isn't gonna happen untill monday. Weekend suddenly feels too long.

What do you do when you are to work on something you have never worked on before, and you are stuck, and you are too noob to understand the solutions provided on SO (if any); except pulling your hair and crying? Because that I have already done and you bet it didn't help.

When you feel like giving up on it all and just going off the grid... I've been programming too long. I need a fuckin' break.

Do you care about your workplace/employer?

I feel quite a bit of stress, and a good friend of mine told me I "probably do it to myself" (working too hard and/or caring too much)

From him I heard that I care too much about stuff I don't get payed to do.

(Think management and server related stuff while I'm just a web developer)

So my question is either, do you care about what's going on? Do you think nah fuck it? Where do you draw the line?

Client: How many days do you need for this project
Me: 6 months
Client: That's too much. I researched and found that it shouldn't consume more than 3 months
Me: I'm sure you didn't researched on gradle building process (-_-)

Am I unlucky or perhaps in the wrong place if I’m always stressed as a junior dev coz too much pressure and they give you super tight deadlines and do languages that you never done before?

Or is what most people go through when they were juniors

I'll keep poking you. If you provide invalid email, I'll poke you again and that too with stronger finger.

What certifications do you guys have, and which do you recommend having?

I'm currently pursuing AWS Developer Assosiate, and in the future Google certified Android developer and MongoDB developer.

Been thinking about Docker but it costs too much

Hello devs. This happens to be my first rant. And I got a question to start off.

I'm looking for an existing public/open-source React project which is not too hard to understand and has a good folder/file structure and code structure. Something that gives me an idea of how a good production level code and project should be.

Any recommendation is appreciated. Can be your own project too.
Thank you 😊.