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Never let customers define the priority levels. It will end in:
- Normal (never used)
- High (used for small text changes)
- Higher
- OMG fix now
- Highest
- the World is ending if this doesn't get fixed now
- different existential plane of priority
- Priority ∞ + 118 -
Our dev team got a new manager. On our first face 2 face meeting:
Manager: So, what technology are we using for web apps?
Me: TypeScript.
Manager: What is TypeScript?
Me: It's a superset of JavaScript.
Manager: Oh I know JavaScript, it's the latest version of Java, right?
Me thinking: He is joking. He tries to be the fun guy. Everyone knows the Java-JavaScript, ham-hamster joke.
Me later, also thinking: No he is not joking. Oh God, this is the end. We are all f*cked!8 -
FUCK!! It's been 3 days in the new office.
Can't find a single to rant about.
Why is everyone is so fucking nice??13 -
My girlfriend sent me this error message from a BIM software which she uses at work. I would like to see more sophisticated error messages from a software with a 4K price tag.
6 -
"So what got you in to development and programming?"
Me: well. I needed something to new to help with my depression, stress and anger.
"Oh cool. Did it help?"
Me: yes... They're so much stronger now.4 -
Website Intro: Hello! I'm here to tell you how my life changed since I learned to build websites and became independent blah blah blah
Me: Cool. One sec.
*scrolls down*
Footer: Proudly powered by WordPress. Get the theme here!
Me: Bruh... No.11 -
Once we were going to present a web service to governmental firm. All is going well so far and my boss asks me to host the web application the day before the presentation.
I hosted it and all was good with demo production tests, but I had a bad feeling.
While it was running on our server, I also ran it locally with a reverse proxy just in case.
* Meeting starts *
* Ice broken and down to business *
"And now our developer will run the demo for you..."
* Run the demo from my laptop to double check --> 500 Internal Server Error *
Holy shit!!!
* Opens reverse proxy link on my laptop. Present demo during meeting. Demo works like a charm. *
Firm representative: "Great! Looking forward to go live."
*Our team walks out*
GM: "Good job guys"
ME:
4 -
Without even talking to me, why the fuck did you announce that I would be taking the project manager role. Who the fuck wants to do that monkey job? What the fuck is fucking hell wrong with your fucken brain.
You bloody piece of shit with masters from university and can’t handle fucken projects and client’s. Clients are complaining to me about you. Whole day looks for women to fuck during the night while we are dying virgin over here. Fuck you and I wish your dick falls apart.9 -
I've had my share of incompetent coworkers. In order of appearance:
1. A full stack dev. This one guy never, and I mean NEVER uses relationships in their tables. No indexing, no keys, nada. Couple of months later he was baffled why his page took ten seconds to load.
2. The same dev as (1). Requirement was to create some sort of "theme" feature for a web app. Hacked it by putting !important all over the place.
3. The same dev again. He creates several functions that if the data exists returns a view, and if it doesn't, "echo '0'". No, not return 0 or return false or anything, but fucking echo. This was PHP. If posted a rant about this a few months ago.
4. Same dev, has no idea what clean code is. No, not just reusable functions, he doesn't even get indenting right. Some functions have 4 spaces, some 2 tabs, some 6 tabs! And this is inside the same function. God wait until he tries Python...
5. Same dev now suggests that he become the PM. GM approves (very small company). Assigns me to travel to a client since they needed "technical assistance about the API". Was actually there to lead a UAT session.
Intermezzo, that guy went from fullstack dev to PM to sales (yes, one who calls clients to offer products) to business development, to product analyst in the span of two years.
After a year and a half there, I quit.
6. New company, a "QA engineer" who also assumes the role as the product owner. Does absolutely no tests other than "functional tests" in which he NEVER produces any form of documentation. Not even a set of test cases. He goes by "intuition".
7. Same guy as (6), hands me requirements for a feature. By "hands me" I mean he did that verbally. No spec documents, no slack chat, no Trello card. I ended up writing it as a card in Trello. Fast forward to the due date, he flips out because that wasn't what he wanted. Showed him the card. He walked away, without thinking of a solution how this mess should be handled.
Despite all this, I really don't want him (6&7) to leave the company. The devs get really stressed out at this job and he does make a really good person to laugh with/at. -
*We colleagues were cursing Valentine's week*
Team Lead : Committed?
Me: No, I am single.
TL: *confused look* Did you committed that code?
Me: ohh yes! I raised the merge request as well.
TL: Ok. I will review it. *Moves away smiling inside*
Me: *looking at screen* *crying inside*6 -
When your colleague, who wrote the API is on vacation, the documentation is non-existent and you are tired from reading all-day long his spaghetti code, so you are just waiting for him to show up.
2 -
Not a rant, just awesomeness:
At my company our CTO organizes a meeting every month that gives us devs a chance to present new technologies to each other, offer advice about workflows and give feedback about current situations. This allows us to constantly improve.
Thanks boss!3 -
:: *joins devRant to rant about everything*
:: *everything I want to complain about is on the front page*
:: *sighs in relief*1 -
I write code,
I am a writer.
I fight with bugs,
I am a fighter.
I optimise code,
to make it tighter.4 -
My very first rant. I will try to make it count!
Recently my company had restructured with new GM who fired those who he didn't like and hired those who he did.
All ok I guess. And then...
We did a project for a big sportswear brand, interactive installation using WebSocket. My team developed the server with game engine and we also developed "shell front-end" with example code how to connect and interact with server.
Then we realized that our company was actually not hired by sportswear brand, rather by GM buddy-from-the-army tech vendor, who was hired by actual client.
Then, we also realized there is another company, that GM hired as freelancers, sitting at our office doing 'something'. And this 'other company' actually has same employees and address as GM's buddy company (meaning they are one entity with two names).
So.. what happened is that we get paid by party A, then we pay exactly the same amount to party B (which is actually same party A), and at the end... all our work was for free.
And then, this GM tells me I have to fire 2 developers from my team because we don't have enough business.
How did this guy even get to a position of this level?8 -
I'm torn between telling my co-workers about devRant or not telling them so I can rant about work.3
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"Windows can't update because you don't have enough disk space"
HOW ABOUT YOU STOP FUCKING POPPING UP A GIANT UNFUCKOFFABLE OVERLAY IN THE MIDDLE OF MY VIDYA GAMES FOR THE 10000th TIME?
I fucking know I have no disk space, if you complain one more fucking time, I'll make disk space -- by deleting you.
(I'm joking, linux/mac game support is so fucking trash)17 -
Today was 39 Celsius again....
This time I fucking wore shorts.
I definitely had the sexiest legs in the office.
I may have started a trend again.7 -
Man I really need to get this off my chest. So here goes.
I just finished 1 year in corporate after college. When I joined, the team I got was brilliant, more than what I thought I would get. About 6 months in, the project manager and lead dev left the company. Two replacements took their place, and life's been hell ever since.
The new PM decided it was his responsibility to be our spokesperson and started talking to our overseas manager (call her GM) on our behalf, even in the meetings where we were present, putting words in our mouth so that he's excellent and we get a bad rep.
1 month in, GM came to visit our location for a week. She was initially very friendly towards all of us. About halfway through the week, I realized that she had basically antagonized the entire old team members. Our responsibilities got redistributed and the work I was set to do was assigned to the new dev (call her NR).
Since then, I noticed GM started giving me the most difficult tasks and then criticizing my work extra hard, and the work NR was doing was praised no matter what. I didn't pay much attention to it at first, but lately the truth hit me hard. I found out a fault in NR's code and both PM and GM started saying that because I found it, it was my responsibility to fix it. I went through the buggy code for hours and fixed it. (NR didn't know how it worked, because she had it written by the lead dev and told everyone she wrote it).
I found out lately that NR and PM got the most hike, because they apparently "learnt" new tech (both of them got their work done by others and hogged the credit).They are the first in line to go onsite because they've been doing 'management work'. They'd complained to GM during her visit that we were not friendly towards them. And from that point on if anything went wrong, it would be my fault, because my component found it out (I should mention that my component mostly deals with the backend logic, so its pretty adept at finding code leaks).
What broke my patience is the fact that lately I worked my ass off to deliver some of the best code I'd written, but my GM said in front of the entire team that at this point "I'm just wasting money". She's been making a bad example out of me for some time, but this one took the cake. I had just delivered a promising result in a task in 1 week that couldn't be done by my PM in 4 weeks, and guess what? "It's not good enough". No thank you, no appreciation, nothing. Finally, I decided I'd had enough of it and started just doing tasks as I could. I'd do what they ask, but won't go above and beyond my way to make it perfect.
My PM realized this and then started pushing me harder. Two days back, I sent a mail to the team with GM in cc exposing a flaw in the code he had written, and no one bothered to reply (the issue was critical). When I asked him about it, he said "How can you expect me to reply so soon when it's already been told that when anything happens we should first resolve within the team and then add GM in the loop?" I realized it was indeed discussed, but the issue was extremely urgent, so I had asked everyone involved, and it portrayed him in a bad light. I could've fixed it, but I didn't because on the off chance if it broke something, they'd start telling me that I broke the tool, how its my fault and how its a critical issue I have to fix ASAP, etc. etc., you get the idea.
Can anyone give me some advice of how to deal with this kind of situation? I would have left but with this pandemic going on, market being scarce and the fact that I'm only experienced by 1 year, I don't think I qualify for a job switch just now.16 -
The Intern Developer told me that I was a awesome Mentor, Developer and nice guy but the Company is fucked up and he can't work in this negative environment. He quit today. After he left, my GM came and said that don't worry they find another awesome Intern.
Fuck why can't the GM resign.
Following Rant:
https://devrant.io/rants/529240/...3 -
Ok yeahhh it’s not me.
Just got told I didn’t pass an interview that lasted 15 minutes with him talking about the company and no questions for me.
My interviewers lately have just been unfortunate2 -
Ayy. Finally hit the 1000++ point. Now I can get the shirt that I literally have 5 of irl for my avatar2
-
Why the fuck someone write "used linux to speed up development" in your resume. But when you have to use it, questions like "where to download git for linux?" appears?1
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I just hate it when clients with no knowledge of developing says I'm looking for "more professional"
FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!
Somebody did that with dedication and you can't just call it that!!
SCREW YOU!!!
😡😡😡😡😡15 -
My typical morning Teams exchange:
Newb: GM (requesting connection)
Me: GM (connection established)
Newb: How r u? (requesting headers)
Me: Good (headers sent)
Newb: You free? (ready for comms?)
Me: Sure (comms ready)
…
Feels like a bad internet protocol.9 -
Our team is expanding and our boss hired an agency to find candidates. Today a headhunter on linkedin just offered me this position. Dafuq, at least they could check if I'm not working there on the same position.4
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I spent an entire week debugging my JS Gameboy emulator an year ago.
(The "C" register was read-only for some reason)
Turns out I typed "с" (cyrillic) instead of "c".4 -
I am so off my game today that I accidentally rewrote the String.IfNullOrWhiteSpace extension method in C# because I forgot it existed.
My extension had a better name tho: String.IfItAintNoThang -
Expecting your client to be nice with you just because you are nice to them is like expecting lion not to eat you, because you don't eat lions.3
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Hello (World)! Noob here. I installed devRant around 5 days ago. I just keep reading the rants and didn't created my account because i was not sure if i will stay here for long time coz most (cr-)apps are boring.
After 5 days:
I owe all of you a tons of '++'.
I want a boss like @Linux have. (i know tags work only in comments)
Gonna stay here till i stay in IT industry.(maybe)10 -
Everybody leaves me alone until I'm pseudocoding an algorithm to solve a tough problem and need to keep my train of thought. Then suddenly everybody needs me.
-
Once I didn't knew anything about coding or development.
Someone suggested me to start with Java.
Still looking for that Mada-foker.5 -
This is really creepy. Yesterday I was talking to my parents about buying a Thermosteel flask. Today I opened Amazon and this is what I see.. (attached pic)
I am pretty sure, I didn't looked for it even on Google.
It may be co-incidence but still..
20 -
Welp. That was fun.
Just had an interview I wasn't even expecting. Basically the company emailed me saying that the role has been filled and as such the interview has been canceled.
And I'm like ok. Thanks for letting me know.
Then at literally the same time someone sent me a skype request asking me if I'm ready.
I get another email saying they're sorry about the inconvenience and hope my front end interview goes well... like. Wtf.
Why didn't they specify which? And why wait so long ffs.
I had two interviews with them. They stood me up on the last one and i emailed and never heard back.
So now I just had the most awkward interview in my life.
I was so rattled I forgot the answer to a simple af question. What's a JavaScript closure.
I wanna cry but it was so bad I wanna laugh3 -
I was depressed doing a course I hated.
3 years in and I switched to Computer Science.
Best decision ever!3 -
Now this is true. Devrant changed me and now, after one of the devranters post I'm finally searching for a new job. Most of the time I was using PHP, but here I've seen lot of rants about laravel. Now I'm building a website with it and going to change my job. Thank you Devrant creators and community.3
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"Sudo rm -rf / "ed my build server at work today... Died of laughter when i found out there was no snapshot.
We all had a good laugh. 😂😂😂2 -
So I had an interview. Went well. But apparently while they liked me I didn't show passion for development.
Any tips on how to that? Cause like... I like it and all but who really can show passion for working for someone else.
Tips please. Or job opportunities!!!23 -
-Games (board games or video games)
-Coffee and other beverages
-Enough tech gadgets
But most important of all, love what you do. -
Fuck you apple, and fuck your god damn shitty documentation.
Working with NFC enabled passes, their documentation says "payload max is 64 bytes"
What they ACTUALLY fucking mean is 64 ascii characters.
Also, the way they handle date time formats is fucked. They say they support W3C formats (iso) but what they actually mean is, they support a half assed version of a subset of it.
I told their chief engineer over a phone call and his response;
"I agree, our documentation is lacking"... HOW ABOUT YOU FUCKING UPDATE IT!
Also, how they handle json is just bad.7 -
Stack overflow was down..
I don't know why, but it developed some kind of respect for senior developers who don't had access to stack overflow in their time. -
I'm getting convinced that some areas are not teachable. You have to learn it by yourself. Databases (sql), for instance, the teacher never manages to get the class attention. Even I that consider myself a very interested guy can't handle 2 hours of his explanations. I tried to think in a better way he could teach the content but don't really think there is one ..Do you guys faced issues like that in school?3
-
Yeah I get what the intention was but like... why? I feel there are way better ways to do this
(Ps. I've become the pic post guy)
8 -
We have an open office and sales team laughing on top of their voice. What's funny? Nothing. If someone says "I have shit on my pants", they'll start laughing loudly. I have made several complains but the GM says that their laughter makes this company friendly.
I really don't get it.3 -
Var X1 = "" ;
Var X2 = "" ;
Var A = "" ;
Var A2 = 1;
...why. Just why ever name variables like that.1 -
Okay,so just trying my first rant.
Anyone heard about Internet of Things?
Mind getting in touch and sharing your views?😬21 -
Work of a my co-workers good work! It's called colspan you dumb fuck! Best part is that no way I'm changing this coz I work in place where they don't give a fuck about code quality! So fuck it!
6 -
Sometimes I think that git is like a drug. After getting past the initial learning curve, you use it in every single one of your projects. Sometimes I wonder how have I ever survived without git before.3
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So like... did every social media app meet up and go
"yo!
Ordering notifications and timelines chronologically in a way that makes sense?
Yeah mate, fuck it!"?2 -
If only.
Tbh. When I read about ruby and how it was meant to be as close to English as possible a little part of me was hoping for this
1 -
After years of misusing and abusing my eyes (e.g., pulling an unhealthy amount of all-nighters and spending almost every waking hour in front of a screen of some sort), I believe I am in need of glasses. Although I should go to an optometrist first.3
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Why can't you just fucking tell me what type of website you want. Every week you are fucking adding/removing new features and don't want to pay for it. You know what? Fuck you! From next week Monday I' am putting your website on hold until you agree to pay for the changes we made for the past 3 weeks.
On the same note, fuck you to my General Manager who thinks he will get laid for not charging for the changes made to the website. She is just using you dumb piece of shit.1 -
What if you were asked to develop something that goes against your morals or beliefs. Would you do it?
PS - they are willing to pay you more that you ask for30 -
Even though I have 500 reputation on StackOverflow I'm afraid to ask a question! Coz other devs can be really down right mean! No one knows everything, we are all here to learn. Some ppl don't understand that they too started like this.2
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2 years ago..
Me : How can i learn Java?
College Senior : Do some online courses.
*did a course for a month! Still not confident*
Me: it ain't working for me.
Senior: Do some project.
*Created an Android App under internship! Still not confident*
After wasting my 6 months on Java, i reached to the conclusion that: "Java Sucks" (at least for me)
No Offence!16 -
I just finished designing an entire asset management pipeline and christ on a fucking pogo stick, if it isn't convoluted.
Theres a lot of game engines out there, but all of them do it a little different. They all tackle a slightly different problem, without even realizing it.
1. asset management
2. asset change management
3. behavior change management
4. data management
5. combinatorial design management.
6. Combinatorial Behavior management
7. Feature completion
ASSET MANAGEMENT is exactly what it says on the tin.
ASSET CHANGE management can be thought of handling the import, export, formatting, platform specific packing, and versioning (including forking) of an asset.
BEHAVIORAL CHANGE management is a subset of asset management, because code is a subset of assets (depending on how you define 'assets'). The oldest known example of this is commenting and uncommenting code.
Or worse, printf debugging.
This can be file versioning, basic undo services, graph management of forks and mergers, toggles for features or modules, etc.
DATA management is about anything that doesn't fall into the other categories, everything from mission text to npc dialogues, quests, location names, item stats, the works. Anything you'd be tempted to put in a database, falls under this category. Haven't yet seen many engines offer this as an explicit built in tool as of yet, because the other problems are non-trivial as is, so this is a bit of low hanging fruit that gets handled by external tools, or loaded from formats as simple as json.
COMBINATORIAL DESIGN management is the idea of prefabbing, blueprints of broader object design using nested prototypes of existing game objects, to create more complex, reusable set pieces. Unity did this well. GM does this in part.
COMBINATORIAL BEHAVIOR management is entity-component systems, plus tooling to make it easy to add, remove, and configure components and their values on entity blueprints, also not uncommon. Both stencyl and unity do this. GM has a precursor to this in the form of configurable fields, but these fields are not based on component scripts attached to objects.
FEATURE COMPLETION is that set of gameplay mechanics or styles of design that an engine naturally makes easier to include or build in a game.
I don't think I'm aiming for all that, but I think at minimum a good engine has to do asset management, behavioral change management, prefabs, and entity-component systems with management tools for that. And ideally, asset change management.8 -
When you got hired
HR: please come to us if there's any problems related work so that we can give a solution.
After years of working you send a mail with you problems, it's been months. Still no reply! And try to avoid conversation regarding that problem.2 -
I just delegated some of my more stressful and time consuming tasks to some other people on the team who were a lot less busier than me.
I feel so light and free. -
Boss: We need you to configure our Apache Tomcat server for SSL.
Me: Okay, what version of Tomcat is installed?
Boss: 5.5.20
Me:
-
An update on my rant about that interview I had.
They emailed saying they're sorry I didn't pass etc.
My literal response was: wow. Shocker. No shit I didn't pass 😂 -
Baby all I want for Christmas is Uuuuuuuuu-I design that made sense while being cute.
Late I know. But I just thought of it.1 -
Did you ever take advantage of clients that has less computer literacy? Like have you ever escape a bug in the system by telling the client heavy technical BS! 😋
PS - fixings that bug later obviously!!7 -
Prepared my first own Pathfinder Campaign over the last week. Three hours before it starts someone calls it off.
A week of work thrown in the garbage. Feels good.5 -
Ooh. Here's a "deep" one.
For the self thought/online learners, at what point did you consider yourself an "actual" developer and felt ready to go out and apply for jobs and stuff?
And what challenges/reactions did you face?3 -
Hello fellow devs, how do you clear your mind when you cant make something work? I think most of you had this feeling like 'fuck that, creating from beggining will be easier'1
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Why do I find really hard to connect with my coworkers?! I'm an introvert but after few months in my old job I connected with everyone. In my new job I find it really hard! And it's almost a year! 😥😫5
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I hate python.
Who thought that creating a language that doesn't provide any backwards compatibility whatsoever without a way of managing versions is a good idea?20 -
Anyone else like... REALLY bad at algorithms and logic stuff?
I just hate them so much.
Tell me to build something and gg done. But all these tests for jobs freak me out.
Like. It probably ends up being something simple and when it's explained I know what to do but at first I just instantly shut down and can't think.5 -
Anyone know small-medium companies hiring front end devs around the eu?
Or any recruiters with a soul?
React btw. Thanks.
Why yes. This is a last resort. Thanks for noticing/criticizing6 -
I remember our PM/GM used to give us a website name and one line of website description, then he disappears to attend meeting outside the company. His phone is switched off most of the times and he doesn't reply to messages or emails.
2 days later, which is our fixed deadline for a website, he comes and says why the website is not up yet!
Note: One developer for one website and the developer has to design, write content and code frontend & backend.1 -
Kind of dev related, during a Firefly one-shot roleplay:
GM: So you have a data chip in your pocket. Do you want to see what's on it?
Me (hesitant): ...Kinda. *wait* Okay, I put the chip into one of my computers.
GM: The data chip shows random gibberish--it's encrypted. Your engineer may know how to decrypt it.
Me: Okay. Hey, Engineer! *holds imaginary data chip out to her* Decrypt this!
Engineer: No. *pause*, *sighs* Fine. But we need to be careful.
GM: Yes, now time for technobabble...
Me: So once we decrypt this, it's probably going to look for the MAC address, so we need an air-gapped machine--a machine that's never been online before--and a TAILS LiveUSB. We'll decrypt the data chip and then destroy the computer.
GM: ...Technobabble.
Fighter: ....I actually understood that and it actually makes sense. Good job. *fist bump*1 -
I only just started learning Js. And it's going smoothly. In two weeks, I should have gone past the Beginner's level. Then what next?7
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If my eyes aren't hurting from endless hours of debugging or coding, I'll read a book. If they are sore, I'll listen to music. In both conditions, a coffee is needed too.
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Just feel like going to a raised platform over my town and scream, "AHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....!!!"
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That awkward feel when I ran into an issue on one of Azures SDKs and find the pull request is open and not merged for a few months...
The even better feeling when I realise that particular product SME is _literally_ in the room behind me.
Chocolate is an alternative form if bribery right? -
A lot of people have already said it but I'm gonna say it again: Javascript. I think that we will be able to code everything in JS, in addition to its native language.1
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I feel like front end guys and gals are basically the folks that make the back end guys and gals look good for the boss. Not in a straight dev shop, but when your boss thinks html is a programming language...3
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I left my previous job being disgruntled over insane hours and being underpayed.
Took a 3 month break, whilst shotgun blasting my CV and Resume at places. A few stuck. I chose the one that had the best passion to pay ratio. -
GM sucks. (General Motors)
There HR sucks, can't call on booked time, for phone screening and wanted me after I applied for job 4 months ago. I still entertained them. But now, it has gone too far.
I am blacklisting GM for life. I will never ever work for them, unless they give me 1 Million per month2 -
working against a database over a bugged VPN connection, which gives you periodically timeouts, after the request takes 15 minutes 😑
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android development is shitty af, it will make you super zombie computer nerd that sit on his chair for fking several hours just to find the where the fk is null pointer exception is coming from not only this but for all kind of errors,logcat looks like someone just hacking nasa, you know what im the one who is shitty af i would have opt web dev instead of android dev , this retarded studio and emulator takes too much time to just load a simple fking thing & if i make some change in it i've to install that application again ,it's so pathetic and horse shit thing i've ever encountered , kotlin is fun it's actually great language most of the features are so helpful in it,but the google codelabs,it's all documentation , adding dependencies whole concepts are trash imo, why can't we install the dependencies using terminal what's problem in that ,but no they chose the hard way for no fuking reason, i've successfully wasted a year learning this shitty tech stack, hopefully this NY i will choose different stack , will work till ass off .gonna build some cool projects and will eventually try for internships and all. done with android dev, idk how senior dev's are alive in this field6
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You don't! Working for a bad company would ultimately give you the experience you need that a good company wouldn't2
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I keep posting that I need job and I appreciate the feedback but I feel just saying that makes it seem like I'm not trying.
Like. I legit don't know. Could it be my cv that's a dud? Thinking of paying a resume writing thing
Cause I'm actually trying hard af to learn new stuff as well keep doing what I'm good at.
I got one interview in a year and even then they didn't gimme the chance to show tech side. It's soo tilting.
I'm actually competent though inexperienced I think.
Any advice or questions please. I legit need to sort this out this year. Like its very important that I do.
Help.13 -
Err. I'm working on something this is a stupid question. But is there a way to save data and stuff without having to go into back end?
If not or if there is. What should I look into/learn to get it done without having to go too deep6 -
Dis dude @ODXT. First actual friend I made at the job. Magician that showed me the BS and Magic workarounds in report development using SAP. Also GM, Taco Accomplice, and Ramen connoisseur. Really happy to call him a friend, mentor, and partner in (food) crime7
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How do people make clones without tutorials!? 😭😭
I'm tryna clone bleacher report but have no clue where to start cause they're no guides anywhere2 -
Err. Any web developers or recruitment people able to please give me feedback on my resume?
I'd greatly appreciate the help 😭24 -
My pet peeve is IMs that start wtth hi or GM. Please people. Can you write what you want from me. Why don't you ask about how my dog is doing as well?6
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copying field data from one table to another,
wondering why the execution takes so long,
since your copying only data from three rows,
realising you forgot the WHERE clause in the SQL while working on a live database and overwriting all data with the last statement 😨6 -
I've recently moved from google to duckduckgo for my searches, Having in mind the growing concern of user privacy, what do you guys suggest for search engines, browsers, os, recommended addons, apps, vpns etc?13
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Age+=1
First time, I am this far from home on my B'day. But atleast I am with my friends and these fuckers wrote "Antarvasna writer" on my cake.2 -
There is a new rule in my company starting from Monday.
08:00AM (Monday Only) - Company Meeting
09:00 AM (Daily) - Department Standup Meeting
09:30 AM (Daily) - Send Email to GM and PM about your ToDo's for Today.
If you are not able to finish your ToDo for that day then we need to explain to the GM question WHY12 -
idk why, but why focus so much on internal stuff that never will be public...this is also my favorite quote
1 -
The company has gone completely remote. We are all working remotely. We have increased our communications and we have regular video calls to make sure we are all on the same page and that everything is going smoothly.2
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Some humans are calm and thoughtful, some annoyingly complicated, while others with behaviours too difficult to comprehend.
I got a call from the office (former from 6 months ago) and it's from the G.M herself.
** Phone rings **
Hmm see who's calling...
Me: * Picks up phone and set it on loud speaker, so my partner can also listen *
Me: Hello Ma
G.M: Hey (calls me by my full name)
Me: It's really nice to he...
G.M: Why would you move the YETI server hosted on AWS to Azure! We have been faced with lots of challenges ever since and that has cost the company a lot.
Me: Pardon me Ma, but that...
G.M: That is a very bad and unacceptable behaviour from you and I can have the company sue you for this.
Me: Excuse me Ma, but...
G.M: I have spoken with the director of C.M.D quaters (A sister company) and explained the situation on ground about what you did before leaving without having any prior permission. What nonsense!
** At this point my partner let's call her "CC"... was more confused than me**
CC : **Panicking** Who's that? What did you do? I thought you said you no longer work at that firm, what's going on?
Now I'm confused cus I don't even know who to reply.
Me: **Signals CC to calm the fuck down**
G.M: ** Still talking and spitting out millions of threats to the guy who left the company with evil deeds in mind...**
CC who literally hates suspense and also a half cool and half crackhead kind of person... Tries stealing the phone from me so she could pour out whatever is on her mind to the caller because of how disgusted she felt, mostly for reasons I quite understood but nevertheless i kept the phone far from her reach while we both enjoyed the suiting voice of *a threat giver*
Honestly at this point my closest guess was "Joe, who must have fucked up big time" because Joe is the company's SysAdmin and has a lot of fucked up records (One time Joe tried to convert all system OSes to Linux even with our hydra servers with pre-installed windows running smoothly, his action caused a noticeable server down-time all for the reason of Joe being a Linux freak). He and only he has the power to transfer/switch/off/on servers at will. I really don't know what Joe must have done but sure thing is there is a fuck up somewhere.
Talking about me, I was only a developer enthroned only within his desk and secondly I no longer worked there. Who fucking calls a retired soldier about a lost battle after six freaking months later! Just fucking sink with your ship captain!
But how can I explain all of this to G.M without implicating Joe and also not look like snitch, I thought to myself.
While I was pondering within myself and the call which has long been disconnected, CC broke the silence.
CC: Giddy, Can you honestly explain me why your old company is calling talking about lawyers and suing you? Have you been lying to me about your work?
Me: *Explained the situation to CC*
CC: But why was she that saucy and acting a bitch? You should have spare me a minute with her.
Me: She wouldn't let me speak but we good CC. We good.
The woman that just called is the G.M. of the firm I had formerly worked with and she's also the wife to the M.D of the same firm which was my former direct Boss whom I respect a lot. Having a disjunct with the wife can also affect the relationship with the husband, which I don't want to lose. So we cool!
Maybe I should text her or maybe not... But before then
** Another call comes in **
It's her again.
GM: Hello Giddy (Sounding calm)
Me: (WTF. She called me by my first name and also sounds cool... More confused than a stray dog) ...Yeah Hello
GM: I just called to let you know that my accusation was wrong because I was misinformed. Joe Nosa was in charge on Systems but why didn't you correct me on that during our last conversation?
Me: ... 😲
CC: (Drags the phone) Hello and Good morning whosoever...
G.M: Sorry who am I speaking with?
CC: (Introduced herself) I overheard your last conversation with Giddy, and I demand you appogise to him both in written and in verbal because not only did you accused him falsely, you also almost bridge the trust between us which may have cost the relationship.
Me: ...
** Long awkward silence **
G.M: Hey Giddy, I'm sorry. Just angry about what went down recently.
Me: All good ma'am
CC: ** Hangs up **1 -
Sighhhhhh.
SIGHHHHHH.
been looking for days now and can’t still figure out how to sort with redux.
Can someone just teach me this? I’m starting to feel “special”35 -
my old game had this flow every time a client places an object:
Client A creates a new generic object, and attaches texture paths (yep, global paths are allowed), and... lua code as strings to it.
Client A sends the entire object list to the server
Server receives it, replaces it's own object list
Server copies the entire object list and sends it to all clients
Client A and Client B both receive the object list and replace their versions.
All clients see that the object contains some code as strings
They compile and store it, and then run every frame. UNSANDBOXED.
any client could make all other ones execute any code and i was proud of my idea! -
Was trying to pull an all nighter to meet a deadline and I accidentally fell asleep. I was also texting a new person I liked at the same time.
Dreamt I got so much work done and was still texting and got into an argument.
Woke up, but by the time I realized what happened and that I slept off I had already randomly texted something aggressive and insulted 😭
So yeah. Guess who got no work done and is probably gonna be single for life 😂 -
Mine was at my school when I was 13 or 15. I didn't have a computer at home because my parents could not offered a one. Back then I didn't know any thing about computers but always knew that I wanted to do something related to computers.
So, when I went to the computer lab in my school I was so dumb, I couldn't even click on a button using the mouse. We were partnered up two students per computer and me try so hard use a computer and my partner take over and show off his talent how he can use a computer.
I was sad and devastated even though I love computer I couldn't use a computer but my willingness to learn about computers science never faded a away!
Few years fast forward; I'm a web developer and I'm happy with what I do. The fellow student who showed off still contact me for his trouble shootings regarding computers.
Never give up on you dreams -
It's bad enough that Facebook videos in my country have ads but some cunt actually had the genius idea to make the tagline for their ad "Un-skippable quality"
Not sure I can even be mad at how trolly that is 😭😂3 -
Internship Memories (cause currently jobless!)
My GM (who is the same as PM) used to bring website projects with only details given from the client is the website name!
So what about the content?
GM: Google it.
So any particular design pattern?
GM: Just find a suitable theme from theme forest.
Now as a developer, how I'm supposed to get content and design? Suppose I got it, but how can I get related materials?
Thank god I left as soon as my internship was over.1 -
Not a new friend. But it made a dick I know be an even better closer dick.
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@soulskrix love you really2 -
Stuck on 1 website project for 2 months. Client is making changes to the project each time we go and have meeting with them.
GM be like, we will do it for free as part of our service.
What the fuck?6 -
I just learned C and I have created some projects like Parking System and Library Management System. My problem is I don't know mathematics and I want to learn DataStructures & Algorithms and become pro in it. In the whole September I will still be focusing on C and create more projects. I have started learning Mathematics today from High School level to College level. I thik maths will take 1 year to complete. After September in the October I want to start learning C++ and finish C++ till the end of Dec 2019. I want to know that do I have to first finish my maths learning which will take 1 year then I should start learning Data Structures and Algorithms? As I said I want to become a professional in Algorithms. I think its not possible to learn DS&A yet I have to wait 1 year till I finish learning my Maths. I can't do more with C & C++ without knwoing DS&A? If I started learning DS&A with C++ in the future then I can't become good at algorithms? I want to do competitive programming and be at Top 1 of Hacker Rank and other sites like this.7
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Guys. please help.
I’m trying to build something with multiple crud pages using and angular and rails.
For some reason when I attempt to go one of the routes it fails and goes straight to the backup(otherwise).
It’s the patients/new route that isn’t working. Everything else seems fine so I’m not sure what else to add to the question. I’ve tried changing things around to narrow down the problem and I’m almost convinced it’s from the routes. The button works fine when I link to other pages.
fml. I’ve been up for too long. I can link to the Stack overflow question WHICH NO ONE WANTS TO ANSWER if you need an idea,
https://stackoverflow.com/questions... -
I think I'm a dev.... sigh.
After I quit I didn't do it but out of all my interests and hobbies this one kept bugging me. So yeahhhhhh. I'm a dev.
Speaking of. Got bored and finally made a portfolio website. It's not great but people were asking for a link to my cV. So let me know what you think and I can get around to adjusting.
It's
Www.almxnames.com22 -
The hotel I'm staying at only has mini toilet paper that I have had to call for an embarrassing number of times yet they're tryna judge me for wanting pasta at 3 am???
Like, we've passed that stage. I feel no shame anymore!! -
I want to develop a django quiz app which will show questions to all online users at same time and allot a short time slot(1min) for answering questions.
How can i do that?
Any kind of help/link/hint is appreciated.
Thanks in advance.3 -
After I finished the university, I felt like I didn't know anything. I'm learning everyday something new in my work (I'm working 8 years as a dev), but I can't say comfortably that I'm good at programming. After work I'm going home, where I learn and practice new things and deepen my understanding of the core concepts, but again, I feel like I don't know anything. Will I ever feel that I'm a good programmer?2
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During my internship, I fixed a bug in android app related to user data updation..
BUT I didn't knew it's root cause and I have no idea how I fixed it.
Also, it was satisfying.1 -
Hey. Need to beef up my portfolio as well as gain more experience.
If anyone needs some design/styling help or input please hit me up!!
Doesn't have to be paid actually.7 -
My new goal is to get a great af job but still appear as open and looking online so it'll be turn to fuck with recruiters and waste their time3
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I think what's keeping me going right now is discovering devs love rubber ducks so I can finally give into my secret addiction2
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Can someone-not me- make a way to go lower than the lowest brightness setting on my phone?
Thanks.
From me and my shut in photophobic eyes5 -
Hello council of elders.. or should I say "console"? Heh? Heh? I've been up for a long time sorry.
Anyway. I've started learning framework stuff. Angular right now. Been long overdue tbh. And I found a free course on udemy and followed it. It's cool and everything but I gotta ask...
Why can't I just use vanilla js and everything from scratch? I'm not sure if its the course I'm using (I'd appreciate more resources. Thanks) but I feel like it's a lot of effort. Is there something I'm missing or haven't learned yet?
It might sound stupid please let me know why it's better to use that than regular methods. Apparently it's meant to make stuff easier but I feel like it's just a lot linking files and making various things in different places.
Also. Other stupid question which might just be cause of the course but like... Is it mostly just for manipulating json??
Thanks. More questions to come soon!!3 -
Ayy. It's time. Someone wants to hire me to make a site for them...
How much do I charge? 😭. They also said they want it as an exclusive design that I can't do for anyone else. It's one of my first proper ones so its basically my baby
But yeah. How much is appropriate?
Do bare in mind that I'm broke af 😂. Suggestions in GBP please6 -
*updates LinkedIn with new jobs*
*Wakes up to invites and messages from recruiters who wasted my time then disappeared*
*Some from people who I didn't even removed me*
Oh my. Whatever will I do in this situation? 😈 -
(heading)How a programming language is created? Because I want to make my own.(heading)
I am learning C and next I will learn C++, SQL,DS&A, Assembley, Lex&Yacc,Operating Systems, Computer Arcticture, Computer Networks because I think it's enough for my goal. The only reason I am learning this, to make my own C++ clone with my own knowledge. But I really don't know how can I create my own programming language like C++ from scratch. Like what are the first steps to began with. As I know that C, first step is Preprocessor then Compiler then Assembler then (Loader/Linker).
Anyone please give me a step by step guide like learn this language first then this then this. So I can finally reach that amount of knowledge which I can implement to create my own programming language like C++.6 -
the moment you realise:
you blasted a quarter of your mobile quota instead using your wlan while browsing YouTube. 😣1 -
What are you currently working on? You can be as vague as possible and let others try to figure it out.
I’m currently working on something to make pelican based blogs look a bit decent.7 -
Hey!! I have made an app for curbing smartphone addiction, In this app, I am just asking user to set timer for an app, and then my app will remind them to stop using those apps! I am also showing weekly/daily usage statistics. So, what should I name my app?2
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how to propose your nerd gf here we go...
"you may look attractive like frontend but you need my support like backend and together we can become full stack developer we can create beautiful projects6 -
How long does it take to start writing codes without having to do “too much” looking up of some context?
I’m quite at the intermediate level and I fear I do a lot of cramming(and pouring) than actual coding.
I want to code all on my own, or at least tons of lines before having to check something up.
How do you guys do it? How do I become ‘pro’?6 -
!rant
Yesterday my little brother sent me a screenshot of game called robotJS and asked for help. You can't imagine how happy I am that he tries to choose this way -
er guys... I don’t think i can code anymore.
I was unable to do anything for like 2 weeks while i was away and it’s been a month since i got back and like... I’m blanking out big time. I sit and stare at my computer and everything but there is like 0 motivation/interest. I’m fairly new to it tbh so i thought this is was a good time to try new languages but still no.
Any ideas or advice please? It’s like come weird ass code block.3 -
Me: "I got the job! I write computer programs now!"
Mom: "I'm so proud of you, -bgm-. Does that mean you can come over and take a look at my computer now? The speakers, whenever I go on Facebook, they make this popping noise--"
Me: "Gotta go, ma." -
Debating whether to be the guy that posts deep slash depressing shit on here. Or let my other personality of a meme Lord handle my devRant3
-
!rant
I just found out that if you have a list of lists in C#, you can use a LINQ statement and specify indices inside the lambda instead of nested ForEaches.
This code is giving me the vapors7 -
iOS public beta: people download it like a new gm release. « Why this shit are not working... » 🤯
Can’t wait two month more? Stupid users!1 -
Anyone good with react-native? I need help cause I'm about to lose my shit 😭 not even exaggerating when I say I've cried many times over this.12
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Mansplaining stories are my favorite thing on the internet right now tbh
Anyone got any good ones?7 -
Hey so I have to make something using both angular and rails and I wanna ask. After I manage to get angular running on rails, do I just proceed to build what I wanted on angular normally? Or is there a special way I have to do.
I'm learning to build something but I can't find specific guides on how to combine those to do so.
So I've found how to make it without rails. And how to link angular and rails. My plan is to learn both seperately then add. Will that work?
Sorry. My words are muddled. I'm just so tired.2 -
Hi guys. Finally cleared up my time. Well not really but I wanna do something else cause I've been depressed af lately so I wanna try stuff I enjoyed.
Anyway. Last time I got quite a few from here but anyone need help with design/styling of projects? Wanna boost portfolio. Can use sketch or directly code in the styling for you.
For free. Though I wouldn't pizza money haha.
Let me know if you have/need anything
Thanks.3 -
trying for three hours to understand why an error occurs. adding one log statement. reloading. everything works... 😡3
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Working on some documentations on MS word and I'm pressing ctrl+space for auto complete!!🤣🤣🤣 Not only that ctrl+click for multiple cursor!!! 😂😂😂😂😂2
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When I started at my first job I was a fanboy for a co-worker who writes codes like nothing and there's is nothing he can not do when comes to coding!! I really admire his work. I always think how does he do it?!
Now I have a fanboy for my work 😎 he admires my work he thinks that there's nothing I can't solve.
I get it now, it's just experience and practice!5 -
Here's a question that I still don't know how to respond.
What's the expected salary of a front end developer?
In euros please.6 -
Ok! My new project still haven't started and I'm so bored , running out things to look into!!!
So far I have looked into
Firebase
Ethical Hacking
Some web developing concept...
Any suggestions??? Related to web developing, laravel , vuejs ???1 -
Work email conversation with a COTS app support tech:
Tech: Could you provide me the following from Sql Server? (instructions followed)
Me: I am not the DBA, but I've sent them the request.
Tech: Could you send me the following from Sql Server while we wait? (Instructions followed)
Me: As I said, I don't have permissions to access what you want.
Tech: Oh, I see now, you most likely don't have proper access to be able to retrieve the information.
Me: ..yeah. Thanks. -
Got a job test today and I’m already almost done.
All that’s left are two features and I don’t know how to do them and I just wanna cry and all my momentum has gone to waste4 -
!rant
Anyone else wonder how they got into the kind of the coding they're in?
Like, I wanted to make plugins for music software and DAWs and now I do front end web...
I don't even know what fucking language is used for something like that -
I am learning C++ and I want to develop my own custom ROM for android from AOSP which is Android Open Source Project. I don't know anything about how to do it help on internet is not clear and on the Android official website there is no section for documentation and people on other sites say read documentation.4
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Hey. So like I know been gone a while straight to the point.
Anyone in the Netherlands looking for a team member for the Odyssey Hackathon?
In addition to design and front end Ive also got you covered for legal and ethical.
So please if you’re interested hit me up -
Question.
If you're working remotely- like a whole other country/continent- do you have to give taxes for the country the company is in?
Context. Got a "job". Not sure if I'll take it full time but for now I will be getting some backpay so I want to know everything before deciding and planning
Right now in my country I don't have to pay taxes so I want to know if that still stands3 -
So like... is there a reason no one can answer a react-native question on stack overflow or do they only reply to things that give them the chance to be dicks? 🤔2
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I forgot every thing and watch funny YouTube videos! And in between watching them I blame myself get depressed get angry!
I think I might be bipolar! 🤔🤣😀😂☹️3 -
Building a dev/gaming PC - What do you guys thing about these specs:
+ Mouse Cooler Master Storm Mizar SGM-4005
+ Intel i5-6600K
+ SSD 2.5" Samsung 850 Evo
DIMM 8GB DDR3 1866Mhz Kingston CL10
+ Cooler Master Hyper 212
+ PSU 750W CoolerMaster GM series G750M
+ PCX GeForce GTX 1070 8GB GDDR5 DVI/HDMI/3xDP VR Ready DX12
+ Monitor 25" Dell UltraSharp U2515H LED IPS, 16:9, QHD 2560 x 1440
+ Keyboard Gigabyte K85 Mechanical Gaming
+ ATX Case Fractal Design Core 3500 Windowed
+ Motherboard (not sure yet)8 -
Guys, i am a beginner in networking. I want to create my own cloud computing server - (IAAS). Currently, I want to provide storage to the users.
How should i proceed.. Any site link or guidance? Thanks in advance.1
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