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Installed Linux on an old windows laptop. This is my conversation 5 minutes ago...
Wife: "Have how you got internet?"
Me: "What do you mean, it has a wireless adapter built in?"
Wife: "But it's not Windows?"
WTF!!!
Me: "Pass my phone, this is going on devRant"
Wife: "Please no, not again"25 -
Microsoft support: "Your antivirus software is causing problems with the memory management."
Me: "I use Windows defender"
Microsoft support: "Oh..."
Me: 🙃13 -
Me: "Delete this file."
Windows: "Someone is using it."
Me: "Who?"
Windows: "I can't say."
Me: "I checked using a utility. It says your file explorer is the one using it!"
Windows: "Well, I had to show a preview."
Me: "Why?"
Windows: "Because you selected the file to delete it!"
Credit: https://twitter.com/cmuratori/...9 -
First new job impression;
Me: you use Ubuntu as well? Nearly everyone does Linux here I see!
Co-worker: yup!
Me: So no windows?
CW: nahh, we want stuff that's fixable if it gets fucked. *mentions some things about windows*
Other co-worker: (obviously referring to windows) hey no swearing in here!
😄😅😆
I like it there!33 -
Me: I'm done working for today, let's pack up and go home !
Windows: :)
Me: You better fucking not-
Windows: Installing update 1 of 893...11 -
Call internet provider to ask about a problem :
costumer service: in order to help you, I need to know what windows version do you use, Windows 8, windows 7...
Me: I use linux
Costumer service : I'm sorry, we don't provide support to Windows Linux16 -
Girlfriend (art student): “You’re in CS. Why don’t you use Windows? Macs are terrible for programming.”
Me: “macOS is better for doing command line compilation and shit because it supports Unix terminal commands and stuff with a reliable OS that’s better-supported than most Linux OSes. I also have Windows on my laptop too, for Visual Studio.”
Girlfriend: “Only like 1% of people use command line stuff. Windows is better for programming. I’ve seen a lot of CS majors use Windows.”
Me: “Uh. You watch me use my computer every day. The stuff I do in Terminal takes forever on Windows.”
Girlfriend: “Yeah, but Windows is just better for programming though.”
Help.46 -
Friend messaged me:
"could you install Linux onto my laptop? I'm getting really fucking tired of windows 10."
YES YES YES OF COURSE I CAN AND I WILL. EVERY DE-WINDOWS-ED PC IS ONE MORE!45 -
Me: p
Windows Search: Paint
Me: pow
WS: PowerPoint
Me: powers
WS: Powershell
Me (typing too quickly to notice Powershell is already there): powershell
WS: ummm idk13 -
Not a windows hate rant, just a funny encounter at work.
Was configuring KDE on my work pc and got the windows key to work after a little configuration.
Me: YAY I finally got the windows key to launch the application menu bar thingy!!
Colleague 1 (fellow support engineer): WINDOWS?! Thanks for the ear cancer mate 😞
Colleague 2 (fellow support engineer): Hey stop swearing!
Colleague 3 (senior Linux engineer): *grabs nearest waste bin, pulls it open, puts head in and starts to make vomiting noises* *pulls head out: don't do that again 🤢"*
Colleague 4 (senior Linux engineer): *gives me a death stare for about a minute"
Me: *completely losing it* 🤣
I fucking love this place 😊24 -
Windows: Copying 2,513 items from <here> to <here>.
Me: OK.
Windows: 84% complete.
Me: OK.
Windows: Shit.
Me: What?!
Windows: "Copying" dialog box is not responding.
Me: Fuck you.
Windows: Well, yeah, sorry.
Me: Fuck you.
Windows: Do something else until it unfreezes.
Me: OK.
.
.
.
Me: Fuck you. Everything's stuck. Can't click anywhere.
Windows: You can still use your mouse, though.
Me: Yeah, I guess. Wait a second, it's also stuck. The whole thing is frozen as ice.
Windows: What about keyboard?
Me: I said, THE WHOLE FUCKING THING!
Windows: Well, sorry?
Me: FUCK YOU!!20 -
Windows, you fucking idiot! You scheduled that damn update and now you have the balls to ask me what happened?!
8 -
We must develop and test our code
...via VirtualBox...
...running Windows XP...
...using IE...
..with vanilla Javascript...
...help me...19 -
Amazon support guy: Oh its a Windows instance. I'm a Linux Engineer so...
Me: I know your pain. I'm in pain, too. Now help me.9 -
Me in a Windows vs Linux debate: "but can you play minesweeper during the installation?" - Linux wins
12 -
These foreign Indian scammers keep calling me about "computer virus".
Today, the guy told me to press ctrl + Windows key. I told him I use Arch Linux and then told him I use Netscape as my browser, and he still didn't take the hint.
He asked me "how can you have the Windows key on your keyboard and use Linux?".
#stupidfuck8 -
I’m a senior dev at a small company that does some consulting. This past October, some really heavy personal situation came up and my job suffered for it. I raised the flag and was very open with my boss about it and both him and my team of 3 understood and were pretty cool with me taking on a smaller load of work while I moved on with some stuff in my life. For a week.
Right after that, I got sent to a client. “One month only, we just want some presence there since it’s such a big client” alright, I guess I can do that. “You’ll be in charge of a team of a few people and help them technically.” Sounds good, I like leading!
So I get here. Let’s talk technical first: from being in a small but interesting project using Xamarin, I’m now looking at Visual Basic code, using Visual Studio 2010. Windows fucking Forms.
The project was made by a single dev for this huge company. She did what she could but as the requirements grew this thing became a behemoth of spaghetti code and User Controls. The other two guys working on the project have been here for a few months and they have very basic experience at the job anyways. The woman that worked on the project for 5 years is now leaving because she can’t take it anymore.
And that’s not the worse of it. It took from October to December for me to get a machine. I literally spent two months reading on my cellphone and just going over my shitty personal situation for 8 hours a day. I complained to everyone I could and nothing really worked.
Then I got a PC! But wait… no domain user. Queue an extra month in which I could see the Windows 7 (yep) log in screen and nothing else. Then, finally! A domain user! I can log in! Just wait 2 extra weeks for us to give your user access to the subversion rep and you’re good to go!
While all of this went on, I didn’t get an access card until a week ago. Every day I had to walk to the reception desk, show my ID and request they call my boss so he could grant me access. 5 months of this, both at the start of the day and after lunch. There was one day in particular, between two holidays, in which no one that could grant me access was at the office. I literally stood there until 11am in which I called my company and told them I was going home.
Now I’ve been actually working for a while, mostly fixing stuff that works like crap and trying to implement functions that should have been finished but aren’t even started. Did I mention this App is in production and being used by the people here? Because it is. Imagine if you will the amount of problems that an application that’s connecting to the production DB can create when it doesn’t even validate if the field should receive numeric values only. Did I mention the DB itself is also a complete mess? Because it is. There’s an “INDEXES” tables in which, I shit you not, the IDs of every other table is stored. There are no Identity fields anywhere, and instead every insert has to go to this INDEXES table, check the last ID of the table we’re working on, then create a new registry in order to give you your new ID. It’s insane.
And, to boot, the new order from above is: We want to split this app in two. You guys will stick with the maintenance of half of it, some other dudes with the other. Still both targeting the same DB and using the same starting point, but each only working on the module that we want them to work in. PostmodernJerk, it’s your job now to prepare the app so that this can work. How? We dunno. Why? Fuck if we care. Kill you? You don’t deserve the swift release of death.
Also I’m starting to get a bit tired of comments that go ‘THIS DOESN’T WORK and ‘I DON’T KNOW WHY WE DO THIS BUT IT HELPS and my personal favorite ‘??????????????????????14 -
*casually programming stuff*
*Sudden need to open cmd arises*
Me: *opens cmd and starts typing, when it hits me*
"Fuck"
Friend: "what happended?"
Me: "i forgot to turn on hackermode"
*enters "color 0a"*
"Better"
Friend: *chuckles angerly*6 -
When you think that you can control your mother.
Me: Mom sudo make me a sandwich.
Her: You fool I'm a Windows user8 -
My colleague always tells me how he hates windows and that he uses linux just to look like cool dev, one day I found him using windows and he was like ....
7 -
Windows: I need to update
Me: Fuck off I'm doing an assignment
Windows: Nah mate I need to update like right fucking now
Me: For fucks sake, go on then, but if you take longer than 30mins I'll delete you again
Windows: *Updating 25% done*
Windows: *Reboots*
*Grub rescue screen*
Me: Hello?
Windows: ...
Me: ...
Me: You fucking cunt
21 -
Me: arrives in office plugin laptop
Laptop: ok let's a start windows
Windows: hello, welcome back!
Me: opens Android Studio, VS code, Nativescript Sidekick ... Continue work where I took off before Christmas
Windows: lets reboot this bitch!
Laptop: Oh lord!
Me:
17 -
A conversation with our network/system admin.
Me : Can I install linux on my computer, windows is slow and terrible.
Him : No, if you use anything but Windows in this company, you will be fired for bypassing our security protocols. Its written in your contract.
Me : *boots up my Macbook*
10 -
Me: Hey, boss I need install linux in my work station I don't feel comfortable with windows.
Boss: You can install anything you want
Me:
3 -
Today at class
CS Friend : "Why is your Windows looks different?"
Me : " Oh its not Windows, im running Linux"
CS Friend : " What is Linux?"
Me : "..." smh8 -
Me: *Playing around with bash on Windows*
Friend: Can you hack my Facebook account?
Me: I already did...
*moments of awkward silence*4 -
Storytime!
This customer comes in and practically throws a computer on the counter.
Customer: This computer isn't working. I've ran the diagnostics and it says it's software. *places a dvd case with a 32 bit Windows 7 disk in it on the counter* It had Windows 10 on it, but I want Windows 7 on it.
Me: Well, you may have issues with the drivers if you put Windows 7 on it--
Customer: I don't care, I just want Windows 7.
Me: You SHOULD care. That means no wifi, no display, no mouse... Windows 7 doesn't like Windows 10 hardware.
Customer: Then... check to see Windows 7 compatibility!
Me: Alright.... *makes notes to check for Windows 7 compatibility*
Me: So has this Windows 7 been used before?
Customer: Yes, it has.
Me: On how many computers?
Customer: I've installed it on two computers and it works just fine.
Me: That's weird because Windows license keys are for one computer only. Are both of them connected to the internet?
Customer: Yes.
Me: Well, okay then... *finishes up ticket*
Customer: I work in this field and I just don't understand why they don't come with the disks anymore. How much is a Windows 10 disk?
Me: *gives price*
Customer: And do you have any?
Me: Let me check *I go to where they are, find some and come back out*
Me: Unfortunately we're out at the moment and would have to special order some back in.
Customer: OK. So then how much to fix this computer?
Me: *price of installing Windows and backing up data*
Customer: That's halfway to the price of a new one of these!
Me: Well yes, an HP at Walmart... But you do have that option if you want to take it.
Customer: Well, why does it cost that much?
Me: Well, it's $labor1 to install Windows, $labor2 to do some basic setup and drivers, and $labor3 to backup and restore data.
Customer: Oh, well I don't want data.
Me: Okay, well then it would be $total - $labor3
Customer: ...Okay, fine
Me: *updates the ticket*
When she finally left I put it on the bench and the first message said "SMART ERROR." I then did 4 different tests that said "lol, the hard drive is failing."
If you "worked in this field," you would know that a SMART error is hard drive related.
If you worked in this field, you would know that Windows is only a 1PC license, so why are you lying about installing it with no issues on other computers?
If you worked in this field, you would know you would want a 64bit Windows on your computer.
If you worked in this field, you would know how to find a Windows 10 installation media online.
If you worked in this field, you would know that HPs are not good computers to get.
IF YOU FUCKING WORKED IN THIS FIELD YOU WOULDN'T BE SUCH A FUCKING CUNT.17 -
Me and my father at breakfast.
Me: Do you wanna play Russian Roulette?
Father: I boot up Windows every day. I already live the risky life.3 -
Windows: Try Edge! It blocks 13% more malware than Chrome!
Me: Try using your brain! It blocks 99.4% of ALL malware!
*Later*
Windows: Try Edge! It blocks 13% more malware than Chrome!
Me: Edge, you are malware: You are an unwanted piece of software installed without the user's consent, and you make annoying pop-ups.10 -
Me: "Delete this folder"
Windows: "Oki, done."
Me: "How is it still there, F5. Still there! Hey, you forgot to delete this one file. Fix it."
Windows: "Nope."
Me: "Why?"
Windows: "Requires permissions."
Me: "Eh, it was my file, but here you are, my admin credentials."
Windows: "None shall pass."
Me: "Wtf, this is my computer. Who owns this file?"
Windows: "No one."
Me: "What do you mean? Oh, time for your reboot pills, ms. Wandows."
Windows: "Noooooo... ... ... Welcome."
Me: "Ha, the file is gone. Glorious victory."
Windows: "It's just a flash wound."
Credit for style: https://mobile.twitter.com/cmurator...4 -
Me: when are you coming?
Gf: 1 hour
Me: started updating windows!!
.
.
.
After 1.5 hour
Gf came
Windows still updating 😂10 -
A quite normal Windows day:
Bios to Windows: "Go now! Get up!"
Windows to Bios: "Always slow with the young circuit boards."
"I've got something weird on screen."
Windows' answer: "Ignore it first."
Hardware assistant to Windows: "The user puts pressure. He wants me to identify this thing. Could be an ISDN card."
Windows: "Well, well."
Unknown ISDN card to all: "Will you please let me in?"
Network card to intruder: "You can't spread out here!"
Windows: "Quiet in the case! Or I'll cut both their support!"
Device Manager: "Offer compromise. The network card is allowed on Mondays, the ISDN card is on Tuesday."
Graphics card to Windows: "My driver retired yesterday. I'm crashing now."
Windows to graphics card: "When will you be back?"
Graphics card: "Well, not at first."
CD-Rom drive to Windows: "uh, I would have a new driver here..."
Windows: "What's ich´n supposed to do with it?!"
Installation software to Windows: "Leave it, I'll mach´ that already."
Windows: "That's nice to hear."
USB connection to interrupt management: "Alarm! Just been penetrated by a scanner cable. Request response."
Interrupt management: "Where are you coming from?"
USB connection: "I was in the computer right from the start. I'm joined by another colleague."
"You're not on my list." - "Say something."
Windows: "Hopefully there won't be another printer."
Graphics card: "The new driver twitches."
Windows: "We'll just have to get the old one out of retirement."
Uninstall program to new driver: "Go away."
Unwanted driver: "Fuck you."
Windows to Norton Utilities: "Kill him and his brood!"
Utilities to driver rests: "Sorry, we have to delete you."
Important system file: "Arrrrrrgghh!"
Windows on blue screen: "Gib´, the Norton Boys are over the top again."
Blue screen to user: "So, that's it for this week."
Excuse me for stealing your time
And I know it's way too long7 -
Me: I want the laptop without pre installed Windows.
Seller: Genuine windows will take care of viruses. It's virus proof.
Me:😂 Windows? Ok but I don't want that, give me without it. 😂😂😂13 -
Me: Hey Windows, I would love to use my Bluetooth headphones! Could you please turn on the Bluetooth?
Windows: Nope
Me: And why exactly?
Windows: I don’t know
Me: Then what I suppose to do?
Windows: Turn on Bluetooth
Me: Dude, but you can’t turn it on
Windows: I know
Me: So what the hell I suppose to do?
Windows: Maybe restart the computer?
Me: I’m downloading something man!
Windows: I don’t care
So I restarted it7 -
!rant
About to attend a hackathon with free food and beverages - including alcohol.
And I can't get this xkcd with the ballmer peaking out of my head.
I sincerely hope it won't get as bad as ME...
2 -
My friend at school (IT High School in Poland if you're interested) just asked me what version of Windows does Elliot in Mr. Robot use. After I said that it's not Windows, he didn't let me finish my sentence and said that you can't push macOS theming this far.10
-
Stupid tech guy: "You should use Windows, it's bettter"
Me: "No i quit Windows and use Linux"
At the end of the day he updates Windows and got a BSOD...
I laughed and walked off8 -
only developer with linux. everyone else are on windows.
constantly finding myself in following conversation
me : "something is not working for me on the web page i am writing"
jim : "let me see just a.... WOW! WHAT IS THIS?"
me:"ubuntu"
jim:"wat?"
me:"linux"
jim:"well... " +sigh + "that's your problem right there! this works to everyone else. and they're on windows. why would you ever not use windows?"
me:"have you ever tried anythig else?"
jim:"never needed to. windows works just fine.."
me:"well... does your computer ever freeze?"
jim:"constantly"
me:"that doesn't happen on ubuntu. at least it is quite rare"
jim:"nah... you're mistaken. windows rocks! anyway, you should probably talk to someone who knows ubuntu cause my chrome works just fine so it must be this ubuntu of yours.."17 -
Someone just offered me a position at Microsoft. Had to decline it, I'm not desperate enough to use Windows again.5
-
People ask me why I don't use Windows 10 anymore.
This.*
*(Yes I can opt out of all that but how many average users do a fresh install of Windows?)
13 -
Hey thanks Windows for automatically wasting my data on these two beautiful games.
I had to install windows only for gaming. And windows gives me these 😑
13 -
Scammer calls claiming to be windows security expert.
Them: "sir, your windows computer is sending error code. Please turn it on so I cam Fix it. "
Me: "windows? I have a mac."
Them: "um.... " *hangs up*
Me: gotcha3 -
Windows: "You put in a USB I can't read property cuz it's not NTFS/FAT, want me to delete everything??!"1
-
Tried to dual boot my laptop running Windows 10 with Ubuntu.
Ended up deleting Windows.
Somehow managed to install Ubuntu and now I'm left with only Ubuntu and got rid of Windows.
Win-win for me I guess 😄😄8 -
New windows update,
Do you wanna Enable Speech assistant?
Me, No..
Do you want to be tracked?
Me, HELL NO!
Do you want a special ID that we can give you better ads?
Me, WTF WINDOWS!
Last question,
Me, REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE9 -
Windows xp manual really helped me today...
Because I needed some expendable paper and couldn't find an empty notebook -
Windows: You have low power (5% = like 5 mins)
Me: Goes to shit down
Windows: You can only shut down if you update
Me: I'm not risking that *holds power button down and smothers it to death*16 -
Why do people hate windows 10? Granted I'm not super picky about my OS but windows 10 works just fine for me, and looks better than win7 imho.16
-
Windows: I have updates, please pick an option:
* Update and shut down
* Update and reboot
Me: Ok, update and shut down
Windows: Updates and reboots
11 -
Me trying to use Linux for first time:
Sudo node index.js
access denied
Sudo shutdown
access denied (noob)
Me: im going back to Windows now....23 -
Me: Enables USB debugging, plugs in phone
ADB: Doesnt see phone
Windows: Doesnt have drivers
Me: Downloads drivers
Windows: Nah
Me: Tells windows to use drivers
Windows: Naah
Me: Tells windows where drivers are
Windows: Naaah no drivers there17 -
WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCKING FUCK MICROSOFT?!!
I go to log into my laptop:
me: *enter the pin*
Windows: Error
me: Ok let's try the password...
Win: WRONG PASSWORD!
me: *checking my password manager* Nope, pretty sure that's correct... Ok, whatever let's try to reset it.
me: *generates new password and resets the password for the account*
Windows: You can now log in
me: *enters the new password*
Windows: WRONG PASSWORD!
me: that's weird... let's try that again
Windows: WRONG PASSWORD!
me: Ok... reset once more *I enter the same password I generated before*
Windows: ThAt Is An OlD pAsSwOrD
me: *getting really pissed* FINE, GODDAMIT, HERE, NEW PASSWORD
Windows: You can now log in
me: *enters the new new password*
Windows: wRoNg PaSsWoRd!
jdjsjcjj+3+@!o(€;#@!(&(1!!#((#(€_"jsjeucjcjfdjosdifhshabxnfnxjsosoguwqlqqlall#7@+1(
aaaaaáaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
YOU FUCKING INCOMPETENT CUNTS AT MICROSOFT!!!!!1!!!!!!!
I'M GONNA FUCKING TEAR YOU INTO THOUSAND PIECES AND THEN RUN YOU THROUGH A SHREDDER!!
YOU MOTHERFUCKING IDIOTIC CUNTS
FREAKING DEGENERATES22 -
This white line at the top on Spotify Windows desktop app is triggering me. And no it's not my screen.
7 -
They really need to improve the algorithm that is searching for things in Windows Explorer. Literally:
Windows: *Searching for files in Downloads*
Me: I just typed .mp4, what is taking so long!?
Windows: *No results.*4 -
Me: I have to switch to linux, this windows sucks. *click restart
Windows: where are you going baby
3 -
OKAY MICROSOFT EXPLAIN TO ME WHY THE FUCKING FUCK WINDOWS CREATION TOOL WILL ONLY DOWNLOAD TO THE C:\ DRIVE?
12 -
Actually I'm pleasantly surprised about Windows' stability nowadays. It's capable for running for up to a week with no stability issues, whereas systemd on the other hand.. let's just say that my Arch containers could do better right now.
Data mining aside, damn man.. Microsoft is improving for once! Is this the so-many'th unusable/somewhat stable switch? I mean, it's not like we haven't seen that happen yet! Windows 98, shit! Windows 2000, kinda alright! Windows Me, shit! Windows XP, kinda alright! Windows Vista, oh don't even get me started on that pile of garbage! Windows 7, again kinda okay! Windows 8, WHERE THE FUCK DID THAT START MENU GO YOU MOTHERFUCKERS?!!! Windows 10, well at least that Start menu got fixed. Then it got into some severe QA issues, which now seem to have gotten somewhat fixed again.
I'm starting to see a pattern here! 🤔13 -
Windows: No internet connection.
Me: Runs troubleshooter.
Windows: Problem found and resolved: Default Gateway Server is not available
Me: Wait.. since when can windows fix user input?!
Windows: Still no internet connection4 -
*BSOD appears
*PC Restarts
*Windows updating (oh shit)
*Windows taking forever to finish update
*Me getting angry
*Me press Enter with Anger (while windows updating..)
*Login Screen appears immediately
Oh ok.. wish I knew that from the beginning..
or it's coincidence.. 🤔🤔
Whatever.. *Opens Android Studio*3 -
windows: cant uninstall because program is still running
me: *opens task manager* ITS NOT RUNNING
windows: cant uninstall because program is still running
for gods sake, ill just restart the damn computer4 -
Client: Can you help upgrade my machine to Windows 10?
Me: Sure
Client: I bought it in 2006, it still runs XP.
Me: Nevermind.
-
Dev colleague when searching something on Windows:
* Click the windows button
* Click the search button next to windows button
* Type the search string
* Wait for results to load
* Use the mouse again to click the first search result.
I try to keep calm, but this annoys me soooooo much... 😫4 -
Friend : So you're a computer programmer?
Me : Yes
Friend : Can you install Windows in my laptop??6 -
Is Ubuntu have different timezones with Windows?
Always need to adjust time after switching.
*Is it just me?20 -
Me: Installs WLAN card into PC,
Windows: LOL FUCK YOU IM DEACTIVATED!
Me: Removes WLAN Card.
Windows: YOU MAD BRO?!
Yes... Yes i am7 -
We had robotics, or rather an electronics workshop today. Just imagine throwing a bunch of nerds into a room with 3d printers, lots of electronic parts and other tools.
Anyway one of my friends said that his computer wasn't working.
Me: It's running windows so it's broken by default.
Him: common, windows isn't that bad
Me: it is
Our teacher walking by: I'd never want to use windows, it's basically malware
I just sat there smiling 😊2 -
FUCK Y.O.U. windows 10 for making my pc not recognize mics on the front port.
Seriously i usually dont mind windows that much but really ?! Oh hello i noticed you changed your os version THEN LET ME FUCK UP YOUR DRIVERS SO YOU FEEL LIKE A RETARD NOT BEING ABLE TO TALK.
Worst is i feel like an idiot because i have no idea how to fix this shit apart from buying a new PC, aaaaand im pretty sure while trying to fix it i made it worse
FUCK IM A SCRUB. FUCK PEOPLE ON INTERNET AND THEM "It works". NO IT DOESNT !
And now i feel like a worthless dev because of w1055 -
Windows is now being developed with git. I cant believe that.
This is the BIGGEST IRONY EVER!
Please tell me its a joke!
https://techcrunch.com/2017/05/...10 -
James: Your windows dev machine is setup and now ready.
Me: Checks if something is missing...
Me: [ installs notepad++] ... it’s perfect now!!!4 -
Just had someone try to tell me that Windows programs are more stable in WINE than in Windows. Haha no.6
-
The fact that windows doesn't come bundled with a fucking SSH CLI client really pisses me off and I don't know why... Just let me be angry20
-
Windows: would you like to update?
Me: no not rn I'm currently on battery and traveling, let me just quickly restart.
Windows: Okay I'll install the latest updates for you.
Me: oh FFS
11 -
Been sitting here for 10 minutes already. Trying to see if we can still support the customers who are stuck in the dark ages. Oh my gaeddd...
5 -
Biggest thing that pisses me off about windows 10 is the fact that they do not give two shits about wasting your internet, and they try to hide everything in obscure split settings, set updates to happen at a specific time sure but did your dumb ass remember to disable downloading app updates in the store? Probably not.
Heck how about we preload apps for you because you are on mobile aren't you, we know it is a desktop but we would really love to be the next android so here you go have apps all the apps.
Instead of being the foundation for things you actually intend to install we want to also give you a sample fucking 200 level tower that will take forever to demolish so you can start building the cozy cottage you do want.
I am digressing , but final thought is just that Windows can be a 1gb install since the rest of the shit is what fucktards that use a Samsung S8 just to facebook want.
Plebs.1 -
Me: *starts*
Windows: Pease restart
Me: *restarts*
Windows: Please restart again
Me: *motherfuckenly restarts*
Some bullshit security tool: please restart
And that's my morning.3 -
I have a second hard drive called "Windows" on my main system (for dual boot).
When I unmount it after I had to access it via Linux it says "You can remove Windows now".
Makes me smile every time.1 -
Stupid piece of legacy shit needing to silent print without the dialogs in IE on windows 10.
this is proving to be a thing of nightmares.
this has worked for years but no windows need to block this “for security”
windows and security - i would laugh but this is going to keep me awake at night.1 -
Windows. There, I said it.
3 years ago I got a Mac and it just made sense to me.
Many people don't like Mac and love Windows and that's fine by me.5 -
I've never been more glad for ubuntu on Windows. Python dependencies (through babun) were fuckin' me left, right and centre.
2 -
Windows: new update!
Me: *clicks on shutdown and update*
Next morning
Windows: actually I didn't finished yesterdays update hold on lol
2 -
Excuse me sire, do you have a moment to talk about our Lord and Savior, free upgrade to Windows 10?1
-
Opening Excel Sheet in Windows..
Me: Please don't freeze...
Windows : I NEVER FREEZE.
Me : okay.. done updating.. Save
Windows : Excel is not responding
FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK......2 -
I really really really don't like Windows. The amount of awful updates that I have to do all of the time, the fact that my mother just had Windows updates try and run, fail, try and run again, fail again, and then try a third time. But I'm stuck with it, because if I try and run a Linux live CD, my computer has a fit. Because Ryzen. Fantastic
22 -
I use windows, it's just I don't use Edge. But Windows really wants me to use Edge enough to put an irremovable ad on my lock screen about it.
8 -
I have been really trying to move away from windows but videogames won't let me. I would instantly fully drop windows if there was a good way of being able to run league of legends on my arch installation.6
-
Just found out that not even shutting down windows from CMD jumps the "updates" shit, thank you windows go fuck yourself4
-
So much windows 10 updating rants. I have w10 aside with Fedora. I believe that last time I started windows somewhere in June. I'm really intrigued to see those updates on my laptop. Going to boot into Windows now. Wish me luck.11
-
Just uninstalled Bubble Witch Saga 3 from my Windows 10 *Pro* system.
Silently installed for me, even through I've never installed a Windows game in my life.
Changed the reg setting, so we'll see if that is an end to it.
I've never been a Windows hater, but they are really testing my patience with this shit. A *paid* business OS that downloads crappy games.
Are they intent on turning Windows into a Shovelware platform? This is the sort of thing which would cause me to leave the platform for good.15 -
- Dual boot to windows.
- Do some stuff.
- 2% Battery left.
- Alright, shutdown.
- Windows prepare to update.
Me: Fuck... forgot about Creator update.
(Run boy run -> to the AC adapter)
(Freeze windows for too long....)
(Mostly use Arch) -
Fuck off Windows Defender.
I love Windows but this defender shit is fucking annoying me with it's popup messages to enable SmartScreen. Fuck you and your piece of shit SmartScreen.7 -
Me on Windows: Connecting headphones via Bluetooth, starting to play some music.
Ten minutes later, Windows: Setting up device
-> Headphones stop working
TL:DR
Fuck you Windows and fuck you game developers who don't support Linux6 -
Ok I fucked up.. I installed elementary OS on a USB from my school pc..
Windows still work but I have to plug in the elementaryOS USB for grub to boot so I can boot windows
Fuck me14 -
took me 20min to realize why windows wasn't recognising my flash drive:
it wasn't the usb stick I plugged in but the mouse's dongle... stupid me😜 -
Today I woke up and my old Windows 7 desktop welcomed me with a fresh Windows 10 installation. I'm still trying to figure out who did it because it wasn't me or my wife. I only remember saying no multiple times to the upgrade request. At least I don't notice it being any slower.10
-
So Docker Desktop only runs on Windows 10 Pro. Unfortunate for Windows 10 Home users that comes installed with their laptops like me. Gotta install the legacy Docker Toolbox26
-
Me: Ok, lets jump back into my linux install
*Turns on PC and instantly boots into windows*
Me: Hm, that's odd, maybe I accidentally changed my boot order
*Opens BIOS and sees Windows SSD is first followed by Empty SSD...*
Me: *Cries in the corner realising I have just accidentally removed the Linux SSD and put it back in to try and install MacOS*2 -
n@2.1.8:
wanted {"os":"!win32","arch":"any"}
(current: {"os":"win32","arch":"x64"})
Fuck me and windows I guess....3 -
Colleague: I cant install windows on our playcomputer. you broke it.
<Me walks to the computer, he looks away>
<silently deletes the debian entry in the nvram>
<installs windows, without an problems>
Me: So, where is the Problem?
Colleague<slightly angry>: I made it exact like you!
Me: o_O1 -
Me - sits down to code
Windows - need to install small update
Me - skip
Windows - HELL NO UPDATE
6 hours later.......
Update faild.3 -
Me: Do you already have a live USB stick for Windows?
Brother: You mean a dead USB stick, because Windows hasnt got that feature?!2 -
New employee started this week, doesn't know anything about bash because she's a Windows user :/ She'll receive a crash course today by me (she has bash installed on Windows 10 because we require it for some of our tools).3
-
Waiting 15+ minutes while Windows "indexes" a folder just so I can see the contents reminds me of why I dislike Windows as an OS so much.
This is a senseless operation that is of no benefit to the user.5 -
So today a Windows sysadmin told me the Registry is a part of Windows he "doesn't know so well" 😂 and the worst part is the faith of about 1000 users lies in his hands 🤦♂️8
-
Me: *tries to deactivate windows 10 feedback*
Windows: nope *turns it back on*
Me: *please*
Windows: NO
Me: *Feels sorry for shitty quality*
2 -
First "rant"...
There's a lot of complaints about Windows 10 and it's updates and everyone bashing them.
Does nobody turn off their computer at night?
It installs my updates during the night for me and it even wakes up if needed to do so. I have never looked at my update screen when rebooting or turning my computer on, ever since I have Windows 10 freshly installed... Only exception is the Anniversary Update. So I don't see a reason why everyone hates it so much...
Am I just that lucky or what?11 -
Wow I was playing Dota 2 when Windows decided to minimize it and tell me about the update timing. Almost cost me a game.6
-
Windows user(non-coder): Linux? The boring dull look, which does nothing!
Me: why do you use Windows?
User: looks amazing, and specially for games:)
Me: yeah, Somebody who was in love with Linux created that damn game!7 -
I'm assuming me pc heard me last night, because the gobblecocking twat wouldn't POST this morning.
I had to take her power of completely and then the bitch started updating windows 10.
Its time to make linux the main gaming platform!
If it wasn't for gaming, windows wouldn't even exist anymore3 -
Why thankyou Windows 10.
I appreciate that choiceless, dictatorial update restart you have kindly blessed me with.6 -
I just downgraded from that shitty windows 10 to windows 7. Win 10 just decided its good to nuke itself while updating.... so fuck off!!
Dont judge me, its my secondary OS.
Primary is Debian!5 -
Me, 20 mins ago:
"oh god windows died and my HDD's not showing on my SATA controller fuck it better not've died"
Me, 3 mins ago:
"oh, windows has managed to permanently bork an entire SATA controller and wipe my NVRAM. Neat. Lucky I have 2 controllers..."
fucking updates10 -
When you go to Windows from Linux after long time and Windows fucks you up by its freaking updates. The whole time waiting, I felt Windows was indirectly saying, "You left me for someone else and now you want me back? Suffer bitch!4
-
Ordered a new pc and got it in today.
Me starting it up: "oh right, Windows..."
*haven't touched windows in years*
Installing Ubuntu now cause I couldn't stand it anymore11 -
Open folder in Windows Explorer.
Right click empty space, then click "Open with Code."
Awesome!
VS Code keeps amazing me.3 -
So, I had a Windows update left (I'm not a fan of windows but updates are important!)
Aaaaand it failed. And this error tells me that I am trying to install Windows (which is not the case). Loving it 😋
2 -
I can not believe it took me so long to discover Cmder. I finally have a tabbed console on Windows.2
-
My boyfriend: "how do you do <some random stuff> on Windows"? After I tried to answer: "Why I ask you about Windows"? Me: "Yeah! Why people still asks me about Windows"? Why?3
-
Apple, next time you want to get me to upgrade my file system, please FUCKING TELL ME IT WONT LET ME INSTALL WINDOWS USING BOOTCAMP, 9 hours and I’ve only just found the file system that will let me run Adobe Cloud and Windows
-
Lady and gentlemen, windows explorer alphabetical sorting.
And don't get me started on the slow shitty search bar.
15 -
Windows 10 doesn't to let me use my wifi.
*sighs*
No way to solve it.
Is this a new Windows feature?11 -
Everybody is complaining about Windows 10 updates, which makes me relish having turned off Windows Update ~7 years ago on my home pc. Everything has been working with minimal pain I the ass.
Yes, I'm perfectly fine with XP 😁7 -
watching this makes me old. 14 by the way. lol
telnet towel.blinkenlights.nl
,
windows cmd after enabling telnet client
enjoy!2 -
Windows .... You are amazing ... Managing to change my BitLocker Key without telling me, crashed you Update as always and asking for the new key you did not told anybody about to recover yourself ... Great ... Just great....
Seriously thinking about to switch back to Linux like it was before and hiding these crap in VM ...
1 -
Why Windows considers 9GB of my 16GB being used as warranting the automatic closing of my programs is beyond me.1
-
At uni we have one study subject called OSs and we are doing stuff in win server 2016 and win10 half the semester and half semester in linux
Before those classes
Me: windows is not that bad guys why you so mean?
After:
Also me: oh... i get it now. Fuck windows2 -
Today i just decided to move to ubuntu 17.04 from windows 10, is it hard to get project done fast with ubuntu? I need some thought, because windows really pissed me off from the lagging retard.15
-
I hate when some program crashes and he takes the Windows whit him. It's like: "You come whit me b****!"
-
Me : This isn't connecting to the network because of MAC filter
Biz dude : okay give me a minute, I'll boot windows
Me : *facepalm*1 -
My roommate is a hardcore apple fan boy. Me and my other roommate use windows so we actually installed windows on his Mac.
He later passed out.........
1 like = 1 prayer.9 -
Oh gee thanks Windows. I don't have any deadlines and would looovvveee to watch a loading spinner for an hour!
-
Is it just me who's never been prevented from working by windows update?
(While working in windows that is)2 -
Just now:
Windows asks me to schedule a time for updates
I schedule a time
Windows asks me again
I deny because I already set it
While I'm debugging and about to finish, windows restarts -
This is bloody annoying me! On Windows 10 while you have taskbar on top (because that's most comfortable for me) most of apps show behind the taskbar :<
4 -
1. Update some packages
2. Linux machine stops working soon after
3. Panic
4. Go get windows machine to help me troubleshoot the issue
5. Starts windows update on startup
6. Panic some more -
Computerworld: Call me crazy, but Windows 11 could run on Linux.
https://computerworld.com/article/...13 -
It looks like Windows almost stopped me from exiting the mall. I had to call customer care to save me from situation. The toll station froze on me. Why Windows? Why?
3 -
Me: Yea, Linux is great! Screw Windows!
*Touchpad stops working on startup
Me: It's fine, it could happen on Windows...
*Laptop fans start blasting at 100% during class
Me: It's uhh, probably just a simple thing, nothing to worry about....
*Restarts computer after updating. Screen completely black, even after restarting multiple times.
Me: Oh FFS....4 -
I love when people who still use Windows 95 style on their desktop give me advice about my mockup design.
-
android studio + Photoshop cc + Chrome + Windows ,
believe me, surviving hell was a lot easier.😟😟😟3 -
New customer calling me to change all admin password on all server and Nas and some router/wifi ap for an unknown reason.
Customer: I have so many windows servers and nas'es...
Me arriving on site: just one qnap Nas... no windows server. 👍🏻🦄 -
Day 1/2 using windows phone.
Wish me luck my fellow debs, while my nexus 6P gets the camera glass replaced I'm stuck using windows 10 phone, this will be an interesting 2 days!13 -
My friend is telling me to switch from Linux to Windows because Discord doesn't work properly on Linux... 😔8
-
Reinstalled windows.
Now it updates.
Stayed for 10 freakin minutes on "Working on updates. 100% complete. Don't turn off your computer!" and then went back to 0%. FUCK YOU WINDOWS, FUCK ME FOR NOT BEING ABLE TO RUN LOL ON UBUNTU. FUCK FUCK FUCK.3 -
!rant
I love to work on my machine, and being it
my work-horse for school and side-projects, I have a neat dualboot of Windows 10 and (driver-related) Ubuntu Mate.
Ditched Mate because screen tearing, got Cinnamon, but I have to say, that W10 UI appeals a lot for me, so... what kind of Windows is this?
4 -
So, I recently switched from a windows laptop (XPS 13) to a macbook pro and my friend has been bugging me about whether I'll ever go back. He is a wannabe frontend developer and wants a windows laptop. No matter what I tell him, he seems to have tunnel vision. What are your thoughts on this? And what is your personal experience with Windows vs Apple for development?
(Pls don't kill me, it's my first post on devrant, thnx)15 -
I just tried to download Photoshop CC. On Linux. Just to give it a try in Wine 3.0 and see if it works.
Adobe rejected my humble request with "Your operating system is not supported."
Ok.
I switched my user-agent to Windows and voila, it tried to give me a dmg installer.
A. Fucking. Mac. Installer.
WHAT AM I SUPPOSED DO TO WITH THAT ADOBE YOU STUPID CUNT!12 -
I can write articles to tech sites. I used to be editor at one Windows news site and kinda liked it. Although, they've kicked me for being Windows Mobile sceptic 😐2
-
Customer: "no obligation quote: upgrading 20 pc from ME to XP."
Sales dept.: "what? Lol?" *incredibly expensive ME to Windows 10 upgrade service quote*
Customer: *accepted*1 -
everyone warned me, but did I listen!
I've done enough troubleshooting to last me a lifetime, I'm just gonna rollover and die
fuck you windows 10
3 -
Blah! Fucking Windows 10 thinking it knows what's best for me! 8:30 PM was not a good time to install some updates, you fuck!
Never thought I'd say I regret saying goodbye to Windows 8... -
me windows user is bored, start installing linux as dual boot. ok lets code in linux. proceed to install vscode. starts coding... ok lets save. permission denied. permission denied. ok lets use these sudo fuckery. says its not recomended #warnings. start googling. got answer in alien language. fuck me, back to windows then.5
-
not used to this on windows
Operation Successful...
Why do professors need .doc files? Pdf works too. I don't know how to use windows. Give me linux.
1 -
Windows Memory Diagnostic Tool did not bring me good news.... Hello 2017 you seem to be serving me a crap sandwich already..
-
I think my windows is on to me. I'm trying to install Linux dual and it does everything in its power to not let me make a partition.
-
!rant
If you want to resize and move windows without any hassle (with pressed ALT key) in windows? Just like in linux? Then check out AltDrag.
Wish someone had told me this sooner 😅 -
Why do I always get attached to dead/dying platforms 😖😫😭
I mean, I got the PSP Go a mere year before devs dropped support. (Still awesome for emulation because of the physical buttons)
I was really interested in windows phone for a while that I almost bit the bullet and bought it.(you obviously know what happened to the beloved windows phone platform)
And now suddenly a blackberry passport video pops up on my YouTube recommended feed and now I really want one.
The problem is the lack of apps, I was hopeful because it supported android runtime.
Then my hopes were crushed after I knew that its based off KitKat.
Which means one of my favorite apps doesn't work there (my beloved termux, I get a boner whenever I think about using it with an actual keyboard 😂)
Should i just bite the bullet? I'm too broke and that 200$ is kinda of a major purchase for me (I'm 17 in a third world country, so the piggy bank is empty AF)
God, why do I always get introduced to platforms too late...
6 -
Get to work, turn on PC, discover update you scheduled for 10pm Friday didn't finish, sit here for an hour and a half waiting for it to finish.
5 -
Can someone explain the pros of using Linux instead of Windows? I've used windows my whole life but may switch to Linux if someone convinced me to.14
-
Earlier whenever I need to edit photos, I boot to windows for Photoshop. But now I am fairly comfortable with GIMP. Seems like soon I will be able to wipe me windows partition
-
Windows: Hey dear we have got Windows 11 23H076yfuck_you4$ special security update for you which is
only 134546.9777TB
Me: Hey you're mad or what, can't you see I'm working on an important project...go away...shoo...
Windows: Ok, As you say,...
9 -
Why this hate for Windows? I know there are some fails like Windows 8, 8.1 and 10, but Windows 7 seems great to me.3
-
Company just gave me a laptop running windows 10 that doesnt get to the login screen because of a bad AVG upgrade - of course its urgent hence they cant give it to the guy whos fucking job it is becuase he will take week.
Firstly just found out you cant access safe mode without a disk if you cant hit the login sceen - Windows your fucking kidding me right?
Now I've been watching a spinning fucking circle for an hour while it's "attempting repairs" without even saying what its trying, oh ya and of course formatting this peice of shit is out of the question.2 -
Wooow, Windows just crashed my touchpad and USB drivers to force me to reboot, woow... Unbelievable... Peice of shit
(the drivers crashed right at the moment when the windows notification that it will update popped up) -
I'm still stuck with Windows 10 build 1703, if and only if the story comes without bugs then I'll update to the latest build.......
I'm still battling with the themes crashing settings........
windows 10 and a lot of fail testing ????
Tell me what error you've noticed in the latest windows 10 build????2 -
Trying to install elementaryOS alongside Windows 10 in my Acer laptop. Installation went smoothly but now it is not letting me switch to elementaryOS.
Come on Windows 10 (or maybe Acer), just let me use Linux already.
It's not like I am cheating on you! (or maybe I am)8 -
Me: I want to deploy a simple WCF Service in a Docker container on Windows Server....
Docker Whale: nah bro....
Me: but but but you have been working with Windows for about a year this should be a simple simple task
Docker Whale: here let me your IP address every time so you can't ping locally or guess what I'm going to next. -
I was so close to switching to windows until this automated update just prevented me from working all morning....
1 -
That fucking moment, when you choose wrong partition while installing Windows...
FFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU...5 -
GLFW is the cleanest, well documented, most convinient API for creating and handling windows in Linux and Windows I've ever used.
The only thing that bugs me is that valgrind detects memory leaks on it.4 -
Can someone recommend me a file manager for Windows, that supports:
- tabs
- context menus
- dark theme8 -
While I was reinstalling winzoz, I formatted my main hdd partition of 700 giga thank you windows for not dividing in section differend disk1
-
suddenly windows 10 isn't so bad to use (btw rocketeer is a composer package that in windows cmd doesn't really work all that well). Took me a total of 10min to get rocketeer working (requires composer, curl, php)
-
I am using windows 11 and my screen keeps on flickering after every alternate restart.
Plx help me :(7 -
Anybody got good source of how to install Arch Linux alongside with Windows? Cause arch wiki is killing me.11
-
Friend : Dude I think I've found the bug we've been trying to diagnose all yesterday
Me : you've got my attention . *excited*
Opens laptop.
Dual boot screen shows up.
Hmm my external WiFi adapter doesn't work on arch , time for windows
Opens windows.
Windows: Booting.
Are you sure you want to update now ?
Nvm. Updating now.
Shutting down . windows is performing some updates .
Me : fuck my life1 -
Hello folks, have a question, I can't decide if I should install windows 7 (super stable Windows btw) or a Linux distribution (debian or Ubuntu 14), I've always been a Windows guy and was thinking of switching to Linux on my new free dos laptop and wanted to have a hand on Linux, but please I don't want that Windows/Linux fight I just need real advice. Some friends told me to get Windows 7 and a VM Linux just for practice, I also thought about having a dual boot Windows Linux server , I think it would be the best config for me.. so..?3
-
Why is Windows including Linux bash with like Windows is another Linux distro, this pisses me Offfffff the shit!!!!!!!!👿👿👿👿👿 Why can't Windows does his own thing, than stick his finger where it is not needed!!!!!!!!!2
-
2019 and wifi still not work with Windows 10. Laptop is supported with Windows 10. So why it's not working like it should. I don't know why but Windows 10 and wifi is kinda common problem for me. I remember last time I had similar problems with Linux, it was like 10 years ago.4
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