Developer (master's degree, -bleeping- smart guy, no kidding) was bragging on how he made a piece of code 3x faster (with the usual pinch that the original dev was incompetent) and spent nearly 6 weeks working on it (wrote his own parallel-foreach library because Microsoft's parallel library was "too slow").
I was the original dev and he didn't know I had my own performance counters where I broke down each stack (database access, network I/O, and the code logic).
Average time was around 5ms (yes milliseconds) and worst case was around 10 seconds. His '3x improvement' was based on the worst test case, which improved by about a second. Showed our boss my graph (laughed out loud, said 'WTF', other curse words) and the dev hasn't spoken to me in weeks (I say 'hi' in the hall and he keeps walking)
Take that master's degree and high IQ and shove it.

Finally ditched Linux and am back on the original and best :p

A trusted-partner of my company obviously opened a dodgy email, as some of my co-workers got emails with a dodgy link from them....

So our Network Admin sent an email to the entire company with a screenshot of the email and a message along the lines of "DO NOT CLICK THE LINK IF YOU'VE RECEIVED THE ORIGINAL EMAIL!"

Company director REPLIES TO ALL and says 'i cant click the link that you sent to us'.
N.A replies directly to him to say its only a screenshot as it could spread a virus.

Director then informs N.A that that he has found the original mail (hurrah!) but the link downloaded an empty .zip file, so he forwarded the file to another director... who also couldn't open.... so they forwarded it to another person who also couldn't open it..... and they in turn forwarded it etc etc.

Currently have 37 power scans running (out of 250 computers) and trying to figure out how the hell these people manage to dress themselves every morning.

The original story:
"When I've got my very first android I was downloading any shit from Play Store. There was app called pattern security or something like that. The app was taking selfies everytime power button was pressed several times and then photo would sent to email. One day I left my old phone at home and at the office this is the photo i've received."

Clients love to use the word "Broken" (or synonymous word).

Client: The program is broken. Fix it ASAP.

Me: Ok, give me some details so I can help you.

Client: No, fix it. *Becomes an ass*

Me: Alrighty then, let me sit here doing nothing for a couple of hours. Then say that I tested the code against your original request, and it's working as intended.

Client: Sounds good.

(Pretty sure that's how it went)

Back in 2011 when I was 14, I created a cmd shortcut on all pc in my school's computer lab. Replaced the icon and renamed it to Internet Explorer. Deleted the original IE shortcut and a week later the lab got closed because they all the computers got infected with a "virus"

i know im lame kill me

*Working on app for client*
After review - “Can you make that font bigger?”
*Makes font larger*
After review a week later - “Can you make that font smaller?”
*Puts font back to original size*
Another review later on - “Can you make that font bigger?”
*Keeps font at same size and changes nothing*
Next review - “That new font size is perfect!”

So guess what my little sister got me for my birthday! She actually made an effort to make this cute gift. Maybe in the future I will buy the original one and then I'll have two :3

Had to delete and repost because the original screenshot showed something personal.

Original caption: How dare Tumblr calls me a nerd! It might be true... But still!

I replaced my friends CMD shortcut with this target:
CMD.exe /k rickroll.bat & cls
The file rickroll.bat contains a script that launches VLC in the background on loop playing Rick Astley - Never Gonna Give You Up at a very low volume. Every now and then it increases the volume.
So original, I know....

FUCKING PROJECT MANAGERS.

FOR THE LAST TIME, YOUR ALTERNATIVE IS UNUSABLE As explained the original proposal, and in comments THAT YOU FUCKING REPLIED TO AND AGREED WITH, the thing you want to use WILL NOT WORK. WHY ARE YOU SUGGESTING IT AGAIN?

FUCK YOU, YOU HAIRY-ARSED TWERP.

Also, dfox can we please have fucking anonymous rants!

How to get an invitation for Google Foobar:

Open google.com/ncr (Original page) and search for "Arraylist Java"
Copy the URL of the search result page and repeatedly open a new tab with that link (You can press ctrl and spam 't' and 'v')
After you open the necessary number of tabs (about 15-20, not sure), you'll get a black bar saying you're invited.

Enjoy!

Our project Right now 😂

Original deadline for project was April, we're in August and we're still in Shadow :p

Oh boy, my fellow devRanters, I just signed an 4 digit monthly salary (that's a lot in Lithuania) job contract, I'm a future Unix infrastructure engineer :o

As per original concept of ranting, it's been almost two months since I wrote for the stickers and didn't get a reply >:(

Client: "Can you move this to a little bit there"

Me: "okay, have a look"

Client: "Meh, Can you make the text a little like ${x}"

Me: "There you go"

...this goes on for 10 minutes...

Client: "Meh, I like the original better. Just scrap everything and switch to what you had"

Me: *nuclear explosion*

The first time I ever did a PR on Github, I forked the repo, did the fix, committed the file and put the merge target to my fork master instead of the original repo master.

I then proceeded to accept my own PR and got so excited that it was so quick to merge.

Client: I want you to build me something, I'm not sure jet what is is exactly but it is supposed to be round and be able to fit on a car.

Me: you mean a wheel ?

Client: noooo, this is completely different and original idea like none has ever had.

Dev: Your PR only addresses a quarter of the ticket

Dev2: *limps a commit so that now 1/2 of the ticket is addressed and creates a new PR for a separate ticket*

Dev: Your original PR only addresses half of the ticket

Dev2: *limps a commit so that now 3/4 of the ticket is addressed and creates a new PR for ANOTHER new ticket*

Dev: Your original PR only addresses 3/4 of the ticket

Dev2: *limps a commit so that now all of the ticket is addressed but two new bugs are introduced and creates a new PR for ANOTHER new ticket*

Dev: Your original PR introduces 2 new bugs

Dev2: *limps a commit addressing one of the two new bugs and creates a new PR for ANOTHER new ticket*

Dev: Your original PR still has one bu—

Manager: WOW GOOD JOB DEV2 THAT’S 5 PRs TODAY AMAZING! Dev you need to pickup the pace, you only have 2 PRs so far today. And get these PRs from Dev2 QA’d fast. He’s a rockstar!

Dev: …

*The 4 other PRs turned out to be equally dogshit*

Manager: Hey hurry up with QA, you’re holding Dev2 back!

Dev: …

I have been asked to teach a few things for newbies at work, without coding background.
I used the metaphore of pizza, empty pizzabox and no box for teaching NULL. I have read it here on Devrant, written by someone awesome of the community here.
My boss overheard me explaining it, and said that that was the most beautifull expanation of NULL he ever heard.
.......I was like: yaaay Devrant FTW!

Also newbies understood it instantly so kudos to you sir, original poster!

To the junior student in my university who copied my CV from top to bottom:

Fuck you and your cockless ancestors. I hope you never get a solid job using that CV. I curse you and your copied CV and all the others that might use it. You are the reason why companies make the recruitment process to complicated. Because retards like you can't be bothered to use your creativity to make something original. Fuck you asshole

My mom was not aware of the "forward" option in mails for many years. If she needed to forward documents, she would print them from the original mail, scan them to her computer, and attach the scanned files to a new mail.
She also didn't realize she can just save them on her computer, in case she didn't want to forward the entire correspondence, but only the documents.
I'm so sorry trees, I didn't know 😂

When you patch the patch of the patch that patched the patch of the patch and you pray no one ever notices the original issue still burried in there.......somewhere......

-working on project while at school-
Someone - "Dude, are you hacking?"

"Dude, your joke about eclipse IDE is so original and funny!".

I worked with this guy at a startup one time, and just to annoy me, he would write commit comments describing how I was such a bad developer, or how I was such a horrible person. After like the 15th time he did this, I decided to be totally unprofessional and do the same for him... our commit comments quickly turned into a conversation where we would just insult each other (as a joke).

The original developers of the startup no longer work there (including me and him)... I wonder who's reading those comments now.

When you type chmod 777 / instead of chmod 777 ./ on an AWS EC2 instance and have to unmount the volume attach it to a new instance reconfigure the permissions unmount it and connect it back to the original instance :)

In the old days switching accounts was as simple as logging out and logging in

Now, logging out redirects you to 20 different pages, doesn't redirect you to the original page, and sometimes it doesn't even log you out

At my parents house for the holidays and I don't have my original "duck" so I had to get a new one. Handmade out of rubber and metal and looks damn awesome

So my schoolmate asked me to reformat his computer, not before backing up his father's work data. Medical data of his patients.
He had two hard drives, C: and D: . Easy job, it could be done in four steps:
1- collect all data into c:\backup
2- xcopy /e c:\backup d:
3- format c:
4- move all data from d:\backup back to their original places.

Guess which step did I forget to do?
Yes, step 2.

Okay so
Client asks for a bunch of data what can be easily calculated with excel. I think to myself, yeah, ill not fuck around adding numbers 1by1, ill just use excel.

Client wants a program, says he likes having a program do stuff. Mind you, this isnt an universal program at all, it just has to work for this specific input file.

Me: packages the original excel file into a jar and makes it unpackage when run.

Client: is happy

Me: ???

Somewhat unpopular opinion time. I don’t 100% hate Facebook.

I do not support their data collection, but my biggest problem with FB is the users. My connections are inherently idiots because I’m in high school with people who are way too narcissistic and full of drama. I left FB because of the toxicity, and the data protection as a result was a bonus.

I support the original mission of Facebook, to connect people. I just wish it was still about that.

Reject original specs. Do the bare minimum MVP that works and solves problems people actually have, and not problems you think people have.
Improve it if needed.

In my experience, software projects don’t live long enough to outgrow the MVP. If they do, it happens way down the road. At that point, business will change, and the original spec will become irrelevant.

It’s a paradox: 90% of the spec was discarded, but the business is happier than if we followed the spec word by word.

Also, static typing and unit testing solve nothing. I’m sorry.

I managed to re-negotiate my offer to reach the (accidentally) advertised range exceeding my original (realistic) expectations and this is in huge part thanks to the helpful bunch of you here.

So: Thank you!!

And I can't belive that in a single fucking day I benefitted more from posting to devrant than all the time spent on toxic subreddits, calling useless recruiters, forums and others. Here, even those comments that I disagreed with were phrased in a reasonable manner and they also helped me formulate an apparently very strong argument in the compensation meeting.

31st December 2016, I had signed up for devRant.

It's my cake day today. Feels so good to be part of this community, have learned so much, made some of the greatest friends here.

2021 was a mind fuck. Taxing and draining. Very little growth and even less learnings.

I realised that I am in a toxic environment.

Lately, no philosophy, therapy, supplements, activity, work, etc. has been helping me to get back to my original self.

I used to spiral down with a lot of negative self talk and playing the victim card.

Just day before yesterday, I decided to listen to some affirmations on the Tube and that actually helped me bounce back.

I started socialising and stepping out to attend gigs and just be outdoors as much as I could.

My surroundings changed and so did my thought process.

Hence, I made a decision to continue affirmations and slowly change my surroundings, even if that demand domestic relocation.

Things are starting to look positive after a long, loooooong, time.

I also need more sun exposure for my vitamin D3 deficiency and steady dose of serotonin.

I feel lot clear in head and heart. My goals are clearer and I am ready to start working hard and be my original past self again.

I love you all and I really wish you all achive all your wishes and dreams, be happier and healthier in 2022 with ton of success and money.

Bout to loose my shit. Fucking hate it when clients push and push to launch the system as urgently as possible. Say they have run through the test version and understand what they are getting and sign it all off. Then come back 2am the day after launch and bitch and moan cause its missing features they thought where there when they weren't part of the original planning and always use the excuse "i have just bought a bunch of marketing, your loosing me money" or "I have an important even with important people that need this tomorrow" and try make it your fucking problem.
Firstly, fuck you
Secondaly, fuck you.
I cant even comprehend your lack of logic.

Oh man, today just gets better and better...

Manager: * Creates ticket, which has a link to a shared pdf, with each page being a link to another ticket in our JIRA with unrelated bugs of what we are currently working on. *

fullStackClown: I'm closing this ticket and putting this feedback in the original ticket that I assigned to you to review days ago.

Manager: Rages like a little baby and removes my access to said shared pdf.

fullStackClown: Welp, looks like I'm done for the day! Cheers!

Hire a separate team to implement what the dev did and see them fail miserably.

Then ask the dev for the source code and try to adapt the original solution to your own needs, and, ofc, fail at that too.

Then keep your pride high and not ask the dev to help you

Boosts self-confidence every time :)

Perhaps you've seen my earlier post about the bottom half of a lamp post?

I've really stepped up my environment for this one. NOTE: Top half of the lamp post still not modeled.

Here, we see a 16K skybox, a a reflective sphere, and a glass sphere, in addition to my original lamp post base.

It used 2.24 GB of memory to render. But only took 47 seconds.

Coworker: so once the algorithm is done I will append new columns in the sql database and insert the output there

Me: I don't like that, can we put the output in a separate table and link it using a foreign key. Just to avoid touching the original data, you know, to avoid potential corruption.

C: Yes sure.

< Two days later - over text >

C: I finished the algo, i decided to append it to the original data in order to avoid redundancy and save on space. I think this makes more sense.

Me: ahdhxjdjsisudhdhdbdbkekdh

No. Learn this principal:
" The original data generated by the client, should be treated like the god damn Bible! DO NOT EVER CHANGE ITS SCHEMA FOR A 3RD PARTY CALCULATION! "

Put simply: D.F.T.T.O
Don't. Fucking. Touch. The. Origin!

I love how just a couple of mods can change 16 years old game into still legitimately good looking game and yet keep its original charm

I finally finished my implementation of a suffix array construction algorithm! 😄
It takes about 30 mins to process 1GB of text and uses all available RAM, but it works! 🎉
Now I can optimize it, the original algorithm is 3x faster.

Got into a big argument with my lead developer today.

The thing is....he says that the Red Ranger, the original one (Jason) is the most powerful ranger. And we know this is bullshit because even Zordon said that the White Ranger is the most powerful one of them all. But his argument was that Jason did best the Green Ranger in combat. Man that don't mean jack shit.

The White Ranger is the best and I don't care what you say.

The things I have to endure I swear.

My own personal hell was a html page that had a script tag that called a rest endpoint that sent back a text block of JavaScript that was then dynamically executed to redirect the user to a php 3 page that was the exact same thing as the original page but with an extra bit of css to make the buttons blue and slightly rounded

You can’t make this shit up

Laravel payment gateway
Ep 2 (part 1)

ps: all chats are dummy of the original of conversation and a little bit exaggerated but they are close to the original facts

Sooo I've been working on an ancient php 5.6 project that did not have any documentation and was a homemade "framework" created 7 years ago. The original creator is long gone and no one else knows a lot about this project.

When I first looked into it I almost immediately noticed the security flaws...

Old outdated libraries
a "development" feature to easily turn dev mode on/off
BY A GET PARAMETER!

it spits out full sql queries and php warnings -.-

Oh and did I mention that the site is a webshop.... and has a backdoor password?
AND THAT THE CUSTOMER REQUESTED THAT?

Manager: "hey I'd like everyone to join this global meeting"
I saw about 30 people, something was off, certainly didn't feel global, I felt like I shouldn't be there.

I dug out the original meeting and it's for Lead PMs. Our manager isn't even attending, what's up with that, is he trying to make us take meetings for him?

Someone once told me my manager was an idiot and he confirms it like once a week pulling stuff like that.

FML, I hate projects where managers (and other developers, too!) irrationally think that the only thing to do in the codebase is delivering new features and fulfilling change requests.

After 5 years of such approach, the code is bloated, and has hack-on-hack done against the original architecture, and management complains on the time to delivery a change, however asking them to get some time to "refactor" meets a deny every single fucking time because "we don't have budget".

Decided to leave the team. Any reason to stay there longer?

Week till deadline

PO: are we going to have feature xyz ?
Me: it wasn't in the original spec, we'll put it in the next spec.
PO: but we made a new spec for this fase yesterday and it is in that one.
Me: you can't do that you signed off the original spec before development started
Po: but we've signed this one off too
Me: ...

Got an email stating that our meal preferences for the upcoming conference were finalized and that we needed to make sure they were right. Checked and saw my shellfish allergy was not included despite my email from the week prior asking them to update that.

Got an email back that gave me a good long “are you fucking kidding me” pause.

It just said “Check your drafts I didn’t receive that email.”

So I forwarded the original and just put “:)” in the body.

I need a new new job.

Three months into a new job, as a senior developer (12+ years experience) and updated an import application.

With one small update query that didn't account for a possible NULL value for a parameter, so it updated all 65 million records instead of the 15 that belonged to that user.

Took 3 people and 4 days to put all the data back to it's original state.

Went right back to using the old version of the apllication, still running 2 years later. It's spaghetti code from hell with sql jobs and multiple stored procedures creating dynamic SQL, but I'm never touching it again.

The feeling of sitting through an hour debrief after a project was delayed due to added functuonality which fell completely out of the original scope was added and the PM on the project is sitting on fb with their phone the entire time.

"Detective Pikachu" actually looks fucking amazing. Pikachu is voiced by RYAN REYNOLDS and it's a movie that recognizes that a lot of original Pokemon players are adults now, and balances that well with their current target audience of children. I am very, very excited.

Clients don't know what they want!

Was handed a detailed report and asked if I could create a webpage to dynamically generate the same thing from our database. Sure its ez ps lemon squeezy.

Simple page and database query. Boom, done. Exactly matched what they gave me.

They ask why some of the data isn't there. Uh well you cunts it wasn't on the original report...so it's not there obviously.

We were in a meeting today and it came my turn to talk.

me: "I am working on something not fun. I am tracking down a bug in X software that a customer has issues with."
boss: "It is like an easter egg hunt."
me: "Yes, but instead of eggs I am going to find a pile of crap."
boss: "Laughs..."
me: "Its not chocolate..."
boss: "next..."

The original code I am wading through is very likely my boss' code.

Confession: I have an original Zune mp3 player, and use it. It has outlasted 2 smart phones I used as music players.

Oh god, I'm rewriting an old Python script we use at work and I had a look at the original tests for inspiration... There are 600 lines of "passes", #TODOs, assertions that can never fail, and tests of imported packages. Basically none of it is testing the actual script 🙃

Me : so here is your quote for the app

Client : oh yer and it needs to work in both android and iOS, that's not a big deal right?

Me : of course not, however I am going to have to add a little something to your quote!

I don't get how when I ask a client if I got everything right so I can draft up a quote, they don't think to mention stuff like other features they had an idea for or cross platforms they wanted but didn't say in the original proposal -_-

Please stop saying, "stock Android." What you mean is AOSP, and no phones from any manufacturer come with it. Stock means it's in the original state that the manufacturer intended, filled with bloat, whether it's Samsung, Google, LG, Xiaomi, or whatever.

There once was a game.
In that game, there was an OS.
But that OS knew not his name.

The OS was mad, wild, and free.

"Oh, would you find a name for me?"

Seriously, I need a name for the Linux OS in my game. :3
I'll be used for hacking.
Please be original.
Bonus point if you google it to make sure it doesn't exist already.

:3

GitLab CE crashed after doing a reconfigure, something with the LetsEncrypt client. Hours of debugging later it suddenly works again and the letsencrypt client doesn't throw errors either.

Happy that it works again but I'd like to know WHY it suddenly works again after I pretty much changed nothing (or, I did, but I put everything back to the original values every time a suggestion doesn't work).

Grrrrrrr.

An original sticker from the exhibition "Hello Computer" at Tekniska Museet in Stockholm 1980 when I, 10-year old, first came in contact with a computer - an ABC80 with some chess game on it...and the rest is pretty much history :-)

Tonight is my school's prom and I'm the only one of my friends that's not going. My original date cancelled on me and the other one ended up getting a boyfriend and cancelled too. Oh well.

(Am I capable of posting about something other than my personal life? Holy fuck I don't have many posts that aren't about my personal shit)

Tbh anything related to the JVM is burnout within a few minutes by now. I absolutely despise it and would even rather write in the original C

Employer asked, whether I could tweak the site's admin template that was made in 2005.
It uses tables to generate new webpages.
It uses php.
UI is a nonsense spaggethi crap.
Whole thing is shit.

Well, for good money I will just write everything from scratch. Took me ~10 hours and I already have the functionality that was in the original crap. Crazy how these 'devs' scam people!

If ever you felt imposter syndrome, it's after your senior experienced colleague rewrites an API you built... You've been chipping away at it for months, making it faster but reaching the limits of the functional but flawed original design.

In one week he starts it as a side project, and fixes the whole thing, soap to nuts... I need to sit down with that guy more.

Me: I deprecate a react component, because it's bloated and no longer makes sense, and I let everyone on the team know that we're working to get rid of that component

Other Dev: Hmm, if I copy this component for every time that it is used, rename all of my copy's and delete the original, I got rid of the deprecated component...

Me: After hearing that deprecated component was removed... "Good job other Dev"

Me: A couple of weeks later after dev leaves company and I start adding some new features to the app "WTF"

So, we have massive desks in office and there is no much space for them to fit +2 newcomers. Occasionally, my old youtube recommendation "Tetris Original Theme" started playing out loud. :)

Just redid a small work script in Golang to test it out.

Honestly, speed matters little for what it is, the original was in Python.

By heavens Golang is one ugly ass looking language.

I like using it tho, its easy to understand and performant for networking, file io and shit like that.

But man....shit is ugly to look at from a distance.

I do think that most langs look ugly af tho, so shit is allright.

Syntactic whitespace is still shit btw.

So I pulled an OLD ibm out of a trailer, that is literally falling down, today. Anyway, this cpu had been rained on and been in extremes of heat, and cold, so much so that there was moss growing on it.

I pulled it out and plugged it in, with the original plug *that was rusted in*, and.. it worked. The screen and everything worked perfectly! The floppy disk that hadn't been used in over 14 years and was stuck inside the reader, worked...

Mind blown!

As the old saying goes, they don't make 'em like they used to.

I got hired to run an A/B test between a competitor landing page and a new page. While I didn’t do the new page initial design, I did advise on and completed its final tweaks. The result was a 430% increase in leads generated over the original.

Took client's site live and enthusiastically encouraged them to write original content...

Very first page published was literally a slash and paste of an entire wikipedia entry with inline links still in the text.

I once ran a batch import job to stress test with much more data than usual in staging... so I thought.
I sshd into prod by accident. History search can be a bastard at times...

The moment I realized what I was doing was crazy. I was shivering and thought I get fired if anything went wrong.

fortunately I just duplicated the original data for the test, and the system was built to ignore unnecessary updates... so the data was correct and nothing went wrong.

Not an active stupid dev choice but still something I will remember for a while.

Team of developers suggest one of our legacy services is a nightmare to maintain, terrible to develop on top of and is fundamentally wrong in terms of data and application structure.

They are 100% correct and I fully endorse their request to redevelop it.

I'm less enthusiastic that their new version is much worse than the original...

After days and days of thinking and looking for inspiration, yesterday I came up with an original design.
Everything good, and after an hard work I relax reading the Google Play Awards 2018 nominations. Fine, except for the fact that there's an app which looks EXACTLY like mine.

Why do these people want CoC(k) in original linux?
As Linux is fucking open source, why don't they make their own fork.
They can call it whatever they want and they can surely add code which is not based on meritocracy.

A good suggestion for name would be CoCoS (pronounced as Cock OS)

Client: hey here are the original final 15 megapixel pictures for the website (to replace placeholders that have been replaced by other placeholders), please implement them.

Me: okay, let me just compress them a bit. *save for web and devices, upload*

Client: they are a bit pixely could you make them larger?

Me: errrr. well that will kill loadtime

*repeat this process 8 times over F-ing chat until pic is F-ing huge*

Client: okay now that the picture is nice and crisp and huge please add some blur in photoshop

So for our current Hybrid application in Cordova, we are using few open source PLUGINS

One of the plugins have some known unresolved issues, stopping us to customize our App

Now my Client and Project Manager want me to personally CALL that guy (original developer) and TELL HIM to resolve the issue in '3 days, before Monday'

God save me :/

I see a lot of people with stickers on their laptops and I was wondering... anyone else removes every sticker from theirs? Even the original ones like intel or nvidia etc? I always found that a laptop looks "cleaner" without any stickers at all...

Earlier this year I had to deploy an "emergency" fix to production for (luckily) an internal facing, but customer impacting, web application.

It was only the login page they were changing. I backed up the original, copied the new file into place, and marked my task complete.

Then I went and read the details on the incident. Someone discovered that if you supply ANY valid username and leave the password blank, you're in! Put the wrong password and you're blocked, of course. But blank? You must be legit!

Curious, I looked at the timestamp on the original file I had backed up to see how long it had been like this.

4 years.

What's your opinion on sites like Wix and Shopify?

Personally, I think they're ok for a placeholder site, but not a permanent site. If you're looking to be a professional company or store, then I feel you should have an original site, to be honest.

*Reports bug on Firefox (bugzilla) 3 months ago*
*spend a lot of time being clear and descriptive as possible*
*gets literally no attention*
*someone else reports the exact same bug 5 days ago but with a picture and less words*
*everyone responds*
*mfw I didn’t know you could add pictures 😑*
*my bug gets closed for being a duplicate even though it’s the original*

Fuck you cunts

copied a code for android from stackoverflow and it worked
edited the code no more works
removed the code and pasted the original code from stackoverflow and still doesnt work
clean and build and now the code starts to work

Update on ConsoleWidgets project:

Unit system is done, and much improved from the last project. Included a new class which mimics the CSS "calc()" - allowing you to mix pixel (Or, in console terms, cell) values and percentage values. The screenshot shows 100% - 10c

Color system in functional! In the screenshot you see the aforementioned widget colored devRant light purple! Not to mention retaining the original transparent color for the window background.

Next up: style class (maybe) and layout management classes (for sure!)

Can't believe a fellow coder, went and undid the changes I had made in the previous commit! The commit he made is totally unrelated to my changes! Admitted, that he wrote the original code. But, he was not doing a check while adding two columns whether they already existed. That means he'll get an SQL error with the latest version, and has to manually deleted the columns. Again! Why are people so territorial about their code??

Doing a project with someone and find out that they don't know how to use GIT. He copied the file he worked on, put it somewhere else (using the Github uploader) and wanted me to merge it with the original.

Craziest prep for an interview?

Way back when I interviewed devs, I prepped a bank of Simpsons and Star Trek trivia questions if the candidate answered one of the softball questions ("What are your hobbies?", etc ) that related to either subject. On rare occasion a candidate claimed to be a big trekkie so I asked..

<Deep Space Nine was in it's 5th season>
Me: "What was the name of Captain Sisko's ship?"
C: "Sisko? Was he from the original series?"
Me: "No, Deep Space Nine"
<awkward silence>
C: "Is that the new series?"
Me: "Not really, but lets do an original series question. What does the middle initial 'T' stand for in James T Kirk?"
<awkward silence>
C: "I have no idea. I don't think it stands for anything."

He didn't make the cut.

My boss at the time said I should not document any of those questions/answers just in case we are sued for discrimination.

Laravel payment gateway
Ep 2 (part 2)

ps: all chats are dummy of the original of conversation and a little bit exaggerated but they are close to the original facts

funny coincidence happened at work the other day.
One dev ask to get more ram for his pc so we sent him a link to download more ram... after all the laughs we actually gave hom more ram.
The next day, we had performance issue on our dev servers, and after checking the VM's where missing 4gb of ram each from the original setup... so i poke my dev and say see now we know where the downloaded ram came from XD. man those small things really make my day

So I was assigned to improve an existing internal CMS application where they wanted the ability to add extra form applications and restricting them based on people from different departments. As well as include some other improvements like speed as they mentioned that it was slow in some instances.

What I found was the original developer decided to not use any kind of framework and decided to be creative by creating his own MVC framework. With about 300 users in this system and utilising no caching of queries, views, not even using PHP OpCache, even quite a few security holes, I was damn surprised at how this thing was running. I asked the original developer why he didn't use an open source framework and he said that he thought that he'd create something and be the next Facebook.

It was a mammoth task to "improve" this system but the main thing was that I took custody of this project and that I prevented him from trying to make a bigger mess of things for this project.

working on a crappy legacy site written by an invalid. The job was to replicate an existing site for a school with the original's permission. I fix a shit ton of bugs and update the original.

For the first time ever I got a phone call from the original's owner to complain that I had fixed their site -.-

leave things broken from now on!

What a fucking shit show. You buy an original DVD but cannot watch it because of a stupid copy protection system.
"Injects purposely damaged sectors into the DVD in places not read by most DVD players."
Well tough luck, VLC reads all sectors and chokes on the corrupted ones.
Here I am, sitting with a legally bought laptop, a legally bought DVD and a legally owned playback software, yet unable to enjoy my property.

THANK YOU HOLLYWOOD! >:(

Ok guys, since what Im using is a laptop with some low specs since Im too broke to even afford a new FM2+ motherboard to repair my desktop pc and have a little more raw power to use and make more fancy stuff, I wish to know if anyone here legit is interested in some Original content images that Im thinking in make just out of spite in the Zerg Rush of users spaming about F. Quantum and if its worth my already highly limited time just to get hopefully more ++ than my last AMD OC that pretty much noone cared about

Physically copy the git project's folder, change his terminals directory into it to test then move the files he edited to the original folder and commit back.

Working on a 92 hr estimated task for a client. Client adds 3 urgent tickets from another unrelated task and asks to finish those ASAP.
I do my best and it takes 3 full days to to complete the urgent tickets.
Today I receive a mail from the project manager stating how I'm behind the deadline on the original task and how I should complete it within the deadline date however possible.
Shaking my head.

Not only dev related but remember to constantly backup your important info of your Hard disk constantly... specially if those disk have not only the lastest code you are have been working on but photos of you and high school friends back in the day when the original Iphone was just released that you havent properly printed yet.
I think that is one of the nearest thing I can think of that I regret lately aside from simple being "my life" in itself

code not working?
comment code and try to run
uncomment piece by piece
code back to original
running...

apparently, the code didn't know it was right

Serious question for anybody who has dared to understand manager-speak: Do you know what a 'Task Rewind' is? We have it in our documentation, but google gives me no help as to what the hell it could mean.

...Or should I just take my original gut feeling and classify this as yet another word for the clown dictionaries?

When its saturday morning and you're on a bridge because the migration is still failing 34 hours in and the PM mentioned the vendor doc that he 'trimmed for your benefit' and replaced with his terrible doc, and you beat the original out of him and basically read off the section title "Exactly the error you got and the steps to prevent and resolve" and section 2 "big bold red letters explaining how to avoid it" and you instafix it. #wherewereyouonthursday

Forgetting that pencil and paper are the original OS and that spending even just an hour doodling flows and writing out ideas, models, biz logic, and formulae can save me literally DAYS of hassle...

- Writes a short decent code. Doesn't work.
- Refactores it with variables and function. Automatically works.
- Changes back to the original form. Freaking works now.

Wtf.!!!
Oh! The lord of bugs and errors, have mercy on me.

An 8 month nightmare project that failed more than it did anything else. With a team of 14 starting out and a 2 month deadline. Project ends Friday the 13th with only myself and another of the original team still left. It's crazy how issues out of our control caused skilled engineers to lose their cool and position and those that saw it through jumped up even though it all failed. Even if the project is horrible sometimes it pays to see it through to the bitter end.

Do you think it’s appropriate to use the phrase "dried" in commit messages to refer to removing duplicate code? (DRY = don’t repeat yourself)

I just used it and I’m not sure if it’s ok because some devs might not understand it and the the original letters from DRY went away and became "dried" so it might be even more cryptic.

On the other hand it’s so much more concise having "dried type X" compared to "refactored the code so that it doesn’t contain duplicates of type X"

Ever have one of those moments where you're running a service you built to update about a decade worth of police records, realize about halfway through that you fucked the loop and you're copying data from the first record onto every other record, and then just really wish that you had checked things better in test before running this on the prod server?

I'm sure the only reason I'm still here is because the audit log contained the original values and I'm good at pulling data out of it.

Complete disaster. As a C++ dev I was assigned to maintain some Python applications (some of them acting as proxies, wtf) just because the original authors left the team. It's slow as hell and it's not even a product - it's a helper tool. Cannot rewrite because nobody will give a green light for that. Why? Why?!

Get a ticket for a low priority bug, reported internally. Fix the issue mentioned in the bug.

Moves to QA environment, the original bug reporter tests and *passes* the ticket.

Moves to Staging environment, same exact individual then *fails* the testing. Cites totally new/unrelated changes that need to be made.

Apparently our the workflow is -

Code->QA->Staging->Requirements

Makes sense! :)

Couple of the senior devs were reviewing some legacy service code, vilifying everything that was done. Too many files, not enough files, too many lines of code, etc. Standard Monday-Morning-Quarterback nonsense. Then they came across Thread.Sleep() in various exception handlers. The passive-aggressive -bleep- hit the fan. 'Idiot', 'Moron', "People don't know how to code..", etc. dog-pile rants for a good 5 minutes.
I thought "Code is only a couple of years old and had very little changes..I'll bet the original developer is still here."
So I look at the change history and sure enough the original developer was one of the dog-pilers, and the other dev changed the code just last year. Comments like "Major refactoring", "Increased Performance", etc and the changes were only removing comment blocks, and other stylecop suggestions. Oh...there was one change was Thread.Sleep(6000) to Thread.Sleep(1000). I guess that did technically "increase performance"
Would I get fired if I said "Shut the -bleep- up you -bleep-ing -bleep- heads" ? Hmm...probably. Better keep my opinions on devrant.

past time: Making jokes on programmer humor forums about the jokes being told on the humor forum.

fall out: Autists who don't get the joke of the joke and genuinely think they need to explain the original joke even though it is "obvious" it was a play on words.

struggle: Resisting explaining to them the joke on the joke. And if I break down and explain, trying not to be a condescending prick. Most of the time I don't respond.

I don’t really have just one.

Ada Lovelace, she is the reason we have everything and she is the OG

Margaret Hamilton is badass and got Apolo 11 to the moon

Steve Wozniak, the real brains behind OG Apple. And his tech revolutionized computers. Plus have you ever just watched a video of him he’s so fucking pure and innocent. Like holy fuck he’s awesome and just hella intelligent.

John Romero + John Carmack. Two of the programmers on the original DOOM dev team. The team revolutionized the gaming industry and

Katie Bouman, just got added to the list for the black hole picture

So original and personalised

True Story

I just finished a project, it was a rewrite, the original used the zend framework about 7 years ago. It took a team of programmers (I think 4) to code the site, and it took them about a month.

Just me, and Laravel, took me 3 weeks to do the exact same thing. Ok, I didn't have to create any content, so I'll give them that, still, there wasn't much to create.

Should I be applauding my genius? Or, Laravel's magic?

I'll say... both.

I was small and there was a computer at the counter of my dad's hotel. I think i was 4? 5? And somehow i managed to download the original doom and then spent the majority of my time playing that.

Not entirely dev related, but definitely shameless. In high-school we had to study CS, but it was more about knowing to use Office. We had class tests, which mean that we all had the same task and we had to finish it until the end of the class. Obviously no one wanted to do it, so whoever finished first would email it to everyone. Most people, however, were stupid enough to leave the meta data untouched, so it was obvious who was the original author. To not appear suspicious, I removed the original metadata and put my own in, and deliberately made errors in the sheet and corrected others that I noticed. I never got caught, because my work would always have "unique" mistakes.

I wonder if people think they're original when they shout "it's Jesus!" because I have long hair and a beard

I often resort to a hipster bun so people would just leave me out of their "humour"

I won't mention the fact he was from the Middle East and was most definitely not white

TL;DR - (almost) childhood trauma due to Wesrern Digital crap products lead to lot of data loss and a plege to not trust or purchase their products for the rest of my life.

....

So, I got my first ever Wester Digital 2TB Mybook, back when 2TB was a really big thing. While in the midst of moving (not copying) a LOT of data to it, the damn disk just.. died. There was no fall, no power outage, no damage, it just stopped working. I was out of words and out of options. Tried yanking out the disk and connecting it directly to a system, but no luck because it looks like it's the HDD mobo that died.

Also stupid young me did not realise back then that, even if a "moved" the data, the original data is still most likely in their original location, and so, never bothered a recovery.

Lots of good stuff lost that day.

And as with a lot of you, my disaster recovery system kicked up 10 fold. Now I got redundant local and cloud backup copies of all critical and otherwise unattainable data.

As you may have guessed, I never bought another Wester Digital product ever again. My internal HDDs are Segate, and external is a suprisingly long lived Toshiba Canvio.

My most humbling experience was finding the source code online to the original Pokemon games. It was right after I had finished my first text based Linux console game and I was looking up other programs source codes just for shits and giggles. Most of them were simple and I learned a few simple tricks but the red and blue Pokemon were the first codes I saw that fascinated me. The addressing, the memory allocation, even the simple audio processing was simply genius. So many unique innovations and techniques. If I achieve 1/5th of the skill I found in those files, I can die a happy programmer!

>building the same app once again because of a bug
>look in the unity editor settings for android
>find "proguard"
>google it, find it might be useful to minify, obfuscate code and other stuff
>try to minify the shit of the app
>original app was 25.1MB
>minified app is 24.6MB
>minified app using "Gradle (Experimental)" is 24.5MB

When your internship boss orders you to work on a PHP project. And you see that the original maker of code has repeated things a million times

1. Put idea on roadmap
2. Work out simple implementation
3. Productowner-san, please notice me.
4. Other devs pile on cool but complex ideas
5. A 4 hour meeting later, original simple idea is rejected because it's "out of scope" and there is "no consensus about implementation"
6. I already built it during the meeting
7. I sip my coffee while I enjoy the annoyed gasps as coworkers receive PR notifications.
8. FUCKING DARE TO REJECT IT COCK SUCKING SCRUMBAGS.

"Be regular and orderly in your life like a bourgeois, so that you may be violent and original in your work." - Gustave Flaubert

is it me or you also make a new file of a working code just make and see how new way it will work but end up editing the original file 😭

My original project has morphed and twisted to become this monster where I’ll need to learn PHP, databases, and somehow get a desktop C# app to read the remote database and execute tasks based upon times in the database. God help me.

I remember when my sister borrowed the original Sims from one of her classmates. She would play and i would watch. One time she recreated our entire family as well as our home. Everything was fine and dandy until she tried cooking something. The kitchen burst into flames and burned the whole family alive so me, being 5 or so, literally cried for the rest of the day and never dared to play the game again. The end.

What's the longest project you've worked on (in a passage of time type measurement)?. Mine' s a client website, 2 years (so far) in the making. 1 complete redesign, and re-written vast chunks of CSS and code because some of it was shit (2 yrs ago). Now it's super efficient and looking good. Still not finished though. Fortunately they know it's their fault and they have paid up to date, we are at double the original estimate now. I have not moaned at them because they have not moaned at my charges.

sounds logic, ..does it?

git commit -m "session now holds 'null' as date if equals today. This way a 'today' is always possible, even if yesterday was today and today is now the tomorrow from yesterday"

original german git message: "session hält 'null' als date, wenn gleich heute. So ist ein 'heute' immer möglich, auch wenn gestern heute war und heute mittlerweile das morgen von gestern."

Who finds the startrek reference?

So all Matrix movies are now on Prime... Not sure when exactly that happened but watching them right now.

Apparently the original was released in 1999 so that's like 20 years ago.

Seems like the image of future AI hasn't changed much.

And I just got kicked off the TV so a group of guests can watch America's Got Talent... :(

OMFG, Dell, why can't you be normal and make your batteries die like any other batteries - by simply switching the laptop off immediately when the charger is unplugged???

Guess what it looks like when a JD25G (XPS13 9530) battery is dying (still 88% health)!

Constant screen flickering (yes, even in BIOS). Good thing I'm not an epileptic - my screen is fucking strobing!!!

I know it's a battery, because I had the same issue some years ago when I replaced the died original one with a cheapo made by GreenCell. Boi that was fun - I saw my laptop do miraculous things I never would've thought of! Screen flickering was one of them. As soon as I replaced that turd with an original one all these magic powers went away.

I hate it when managers and team members don't utilise JIRA as the one source of truth.

When you move your card into the Review column, set the assignee to `unassigned` so that people know to pick it up. It's so much easier to understand the state of it !

"But then we don't know who's worked on it" - is NOT a valid reason to leave the original author as the assignee. It just leads to work not being reviewed.

Its funny cuz its true.

Original deadline 2 weeks ago
New Deadline 2 weeks form now
API been down for 2 days and counting

~3 months worth of work left to do, if we lucky, to meet requirements for deadline…

1. Work more on AltRant
2. Start (and finish!) a C-compatible original programming language transpiler with my own syntax and everything (I might talk about it in my next rant)
3. Somehow survive college (I am dying there someone save me from this torment)

Background:
I graduated high school from a technical school. And my teacher asked me to come in a few times a week and assist (which I LOVE doing)

So they’re working with circuits and raspberry pi’s and when I can in they pointed out that there was a project they couldn’t get to work. So I had to look at it. Now I was not given the original it was one a student tried to copy in (like they were supposed to) but it was awful. All the indentation was even more off than the original and on top of that. The original and what I was given wouldn’t give an error code.. and so I had no idea what was happening so I just decided to try to fix the indentation and take out stuff that didn’t look right (what else was I supposed to do when I didn’t know where to start?) and while I was doing it another student started to try to fix it and it legit barely took 5 minutes and now my spirit and confidence is broken. I wasn’t petty I observed the result and congratulated him cause he deserved it. After I took the code and put it on my laptop and figured out it was an “inconsistent use of tabs and spaces” error which is fucking stupid and I’ve never seen that in python before so after I debugged that there wasn’t really anything left to debug. So I guess I somewhat redeemed myself but I still feel like shit

I hope I’m not the only person who drafts a plan to build a thing to do a thing, and in the course of research about implementing the thing, winds up mashing together several other unrelated things because they looked like fun and the original thing gets left behind. (Oh, look, squirrel!)

So, today I revisited my 5 months old code and was like "What? Did I really wrote this horrible code?" 😐️ 🙂️ 😃️🔫️

```js
setState((initVal) => {
initVal.food = 'burger';
return initVal;
});
```

The function above change its argument's value, which is terrible thing to do, since it will also change the original value passed to the function. A variable's value for example. Making it an impure function.

Somewhere half of the project, after just placing a new version on staging I get an email from the customer:

" This is really going the wrom way! Everything is so big, and what happened to the original design? The one I agreed to! I really dont like this, please go back to the way it was!!!"

I replied asking him what exactly wasnt as the original design (We really followed the prototype we had showed him earlier)

So the next day I get this email:

"Whoops, turns out I was still zoomed at 150%. I guess it was a bit of an overreaction.."

Couldnt believe this :')

I love tinkering and i lowkey prefer chinese knockoffs to the original arduinos. I genuinely enjoy having to scout the internet for obscure drivers and sometimes having to write my own libraries.

my best career decision?
discarding my original plan to do PhD and get into (natural) science, studying computer science / software engineering instead, and starting software development in a company that builds cool devices.
i really like what i am doing and i feel like i found something that's "my thing".

it took me a while to get there, but it was totally worth it.

FUCK!!! I JUST FINISHED WRITING THE MOST AWESOME RANT BUT THE APP CRASHED RIGHT WHEN I WAS ABOUT TO POST....

TLDR: I wrote an old app and now need it again and amazingly it works...

This pic is now not so effective anymore but that was how I was feeling when I was writing the original

A colleague of mine had a 'great idea' and started a crowdfunding project on kickstarter;
A microblogging application to host on your own server. The max amount of characters per message was 140.
The prototype was even built on bootstrap!
Such a original idea!!

Software Development Process

0. I can't fix this
1. Crisis of confidence
2. Questions career
3. Questions life
4. Oh it was a typo, cool

*Not my original content, but it made me smile and I need one more point on this uncomfortably hot day

* sees mock-up in the provided design PDF, notices a diagram that could be made with CSS
* writes responsive CSS for the boxes and makes them more appealing than in the original design
* feels proud

Skip to today, it got assigned as an 'issue', got asked to NOT do it like this, and instead extract a png from the PSD and use that instead. Despite me saying not only is it going to look bad because it's not exactly going to be responsive the way they want it to be.

Bootstrap doesn't magically make images responsive, goddammit...

Yesterday, I started taking the new programming classes in my school. I am utterly disappointed, before even teaching my classmates who are new to programming some basic python or javascript, the teacher started the class with teaching arduino and C and because of that many of my friends have since dropped the class and we are only 3 left out of an original 20.

Although some of you might say that arduino is a good introduction to programming, I believe you should teach a kid basic python or java before getting into arduino or raspi..etc

I got the original bioshock for christmas (i love older games, got a bunch, was really happy), and this game is spooky as hell, reminds me a lot of system shock. Got any similar games i could try?

Got an offer from another company for a 45% increase after tax, talked with my company and they matched the offer. I shook hands and thought thats that. Talked with the original company and they came back with a 65% increase after tax.. not sure on what to do. Don’t want to seem like an asshole and burn bridges with my current company by leaving, and I’m afraid of the new company and the possible learning curve and inadequacy. Help :(

DO NOT EXPORT GPG KEYS _TEMPORARILY_ AND ASSUME THAT THEY'LL BE IN THE ORIGINAL LOCATION AFTER EXPORT!

I learnt this lesson the hard way.

I had to use a GPG key from my personal keyring on a different machine ( that I control ). This was a temporary one-time operation so I thought I might be a smart-ass and do the decryption on the fly.

So, the idiotic me directly piped the output : `gpg --export-secret-key | scp ...`. Very cool ( at the time ). Everything worked as expected. I was happy. I went to bed.

In the morning, I had to use the same key on the original machine for the normal purpose I'd use it for and guess what greeted me? - *No secret key*

*me exclaims* : What the actual f**k?!

More than half a day of researching on the internet and various trials-and-errors ( I didn't even do any work for my employer ), I finally gave up trying to retrieve / recover the lost secret key that was never written to a file.

Well, to be fair, it was imported into a temporary keyring on the second machine, but that was deleted immediately after use. Because I *thought* that the original secret key was still in my original keyring.

More idiotic was the fact that I'd been completely ignorant of the option called `--list-secret-keys` even after using GPG for many years now. My test to confirm whether the key was still in place was `--list-keys` which even now lists the user ID. Alas, now without a secret key to do anything meaningful really.

Here I am, with my face in my hands, shaking my head and almost crying.

Mgmt approves original high-to-low priority schedule, and then gets anxious why low-priority items aren't getting done. 😒... maybe because you didn't mark them as a medium or high priority!

The fuck is this shit?
The upper link is the actual link to the exherbo-project, a new source-based linux-distro.
The lower link forwards to a broken site, largely copying text from the original, while adding certain paragraphs about easy encryption and data-wiping to hide incriminating material.

Did someone from Gentoo went mad, because someone's developing an actual alternative to their shitty distro and package manager or what is happening here?

You know what i really like about right now? That is not like in 2016 when a new Javascript framework was release every day that does the same as jQuery but different, now days i can use it and everybody says "nice" instead of "you should do this with X.js with 4000 libraries on ES^N edition" to quote an articule i read on the time "I need to display data on a page, not perform Sub Zero’s original MK fatality."

Trying to work out an encoding bug after upload, I ask them to send me the original version of the file that is currently uploaded. I look at the files and they seem strangely similar, but strangely different.

I reply to them, "To confirm, this is the version you uploaded?"

"Nope."

I get that every small victory counts when you’re learning to code, but someone in my class just posted a link asking for feedback on the “coding challenge” they had completed. The link led to a website made from an HTML/CSS/JS template where only the ‘company name’ and hero image had been changed from the original template, nothing else. What exactly are you looking for “feedback” on here??? What was the “coding challenge”?

"Agile" customers who insist on signed off specs, fixed price and 150% of the original scope

Ernest Hemingway and @bittersweet once competed in whose shortest story is the saddest. Ernest wasn't original, boasting his old "baby shoes" charade. But @bittersweet, proving the culture is changed, and new talent beats the old, won, with this story of his:

"CTO is wanted by YC unicorn. Requirements: PHP 5.4".

Reminder: if you were tasked with breaking down a work item/story, and your breakdown involved so much incorrect, outdated, and downright incomprehensible gibberish that, when you were approached by another dev, you had to rewrite the whole thing -- after rewriting it into a form that includes almost none of the original and still contains errors and omissions, you do not get to announce to everyone that you were 'helping' said dev to 'understand'. If you do this you are not some machevellian linguistic genius, you are just an asshole who is going to get found out for your bullshit sooner or later.

If your comment on an issue tracker ticket starts with the word 'also' just take a minute and create a new bloody ticket. Especially if the original ticket is resolved and you're going to leave it as resolved.

Our original backend codebase used so-called "clean architecture" and really put the Java back in JavaScript (actually TypeScript, but hopefully you get my meaning).

For every endpoint I want to create, our design needs at least two classes that are basically callable singletons. If my understanding doesn't fail me, it could have been simple old functions... I think?

So my friend had an idea for a game and asked me if I could help him develop it. Now, he understands how the code works and can even write quite a bit himself. On several occasions (including today) this happened:

*writes code*
*tests code*
Me: Hmm... this isn't working like it's supposed to
Friend: It looks pretty good, maybe check to see if everything is in the right order
*checks code*
*tries alternative solution*
*checks again*
Me and friend: Well this is even worse than before
*presses ctrl+z a lot to go back to the original*
*opens new project*
*writes new code for same purpose*
*checks code*
Both of us: IT WORKS!!!
*checks again just to be sure*
Both of us: IT STILL WORKS!!!
*compares new code to original code*
Me: It's the exact same code with different variable names!!! Why did this not work before?
Friend: No idea
*puts new code into main program*
*it still doesn't work*

Reasons Java makes me cry sometimes

A lot of hate on the jokes/memes here but since I don’t have twitter and Reddit, I have the joy of seeing these as original.

You know, just a few to keep the variety going inbetween the “Fuck my boss” and the “PHP sucks ass” rants

Optimized some code yesterday to speed up writes and reads to the various channels of a pixel of an image.

One of the changes was to directly modify the original image, instead of copying the modded pixels to a new image.

Code stopped working.

After a day of debugging and going insane since the methods that had to be working were in fact working, I decided to check whether the image I was loading had an alpha channel, which my program wrote to and read from.

No alpha channel. Some days I feel like a complete fool.

I taught myself C. I had a Commodor-64, and I bought a C compiler for it. My first project was a random character generator for the original D&D RPG. That was in 1985.

My name, by western standards, is a "misspelled" version (it's actually the ancient Greek original). And here in SA there are some with the "normal" version of the name. All fine and dandy, spell it however you want for your kids. BUT STOP "CORRECTING" MY NAME! Anything and everything that stores my name these days has a 50% chance to get it wrong. What's worse is that is this is more prevalent when I WROTE IT ON A PHYSICAL APPLICATION FORM. NOBODY IS NOT GOING TO NOTICE IF THEY ACCIDENTALLY ADD A LETTER TO THEIR OWN NAME!

Sometimes, I feel like tearing my hair out from the way Bash works.

Like... Where other languages have two operators for case-sensitive and insensitive regex matching, bash? It doesn't. It only matches case-sensitively.

And if one wants the insensitive matching? Gotta set a shell option... And if a script wouldn't change it back, who knows what else could break, so of course it has to save its initial state, change it, do its case-insensitive matching, and return it back to its original value.

10/10 experience.

We once had to make another wordpress multilanguage site on a different domain but it should use the whole footer from previous site full with its images and sitemaps. The client said "just make it look like a copy of a footer". This would require us to copy the whole footer for 4 different languages every time somebody makes a change in the original site.

So the workaround we did in the end was to make a specific page in original wordpress site which only returns the footer.

In the new wordpress site we made a code which scrapes that whole page and puts its contents on the footer of the new wordpress site.

It worked perfectly and we never needed to copy the whole footer again because it was "dynamic".

A basic rule of mathematical life: if the universe hands you a hard problem, try to solve an easier one instead, and hope the simple version is close enough to the original problem that the universe doesn't object.

When you spend months putting together a major update for the original scope of a project, release the update to a client, and the first thing they say: "Where's that new feature I asked for last week?"

" Under the hood... the program is using a mix of condition-based learning, procedural generation of sentences/questions, and relational queries based on weighted 'topic' identifiers. It can create its own original statements and questions. It is real-time, and it really does 'think' (an internal dialogue feedback loop)." = If Statement

I saw this in the description for an app aclled "Real AI"

Have a question about raises.

Working in europe as a junior dev (had 2.5 year experience prior) but lowballed myself (because I had a 1.5 year gap from development) and started working here for 2.5k euro/month salary.

After my 3 months probation I noticed that Im doing better than 60% of my team and as soon as my probation ended I messaged my manager and asked for a raise to bump me up to 3.5k/month.

I am waiting for a raise for the past 7 weeks already. My manager keeps telling me that decision is greenlighted because I got very strong and positive feedback. However CTO is on vacation, once he comes back manager will be on vacation and so on. Basically a corporate clusterfuck.

So basically I will have my raise request approved what? 8 weeks after my original request? Also add a couple more weeks because I guess new contract will be signed from the beginning of next month, not retrospectively. So when I will actually get that increased salary? What the hell.

Since my original request havent even reached CTO yet Im thinking of amending my original request and asking for a bump up to 4k or quit the company and go contracting for the same 4k and pay 17 percent for taxes instead being employed fulltime while paying around 43% for taxes.

I am just pissed off that its taking 2 months to just get the 'okay' and I guess will take 3 more weeks to sign the new contract. It shouldnt be like that, I lost money while waiting so I think it would be fair enough to ask for a bigger bump.

the worst project without without documentation I had to work with was a huge web 1.0 webapp that had been compiled / uglified into a huge blob of javascript with meaningless variable- and function names that were no longer than 3 characters. needless to say, the original source code was gone and the original author as well. Spent weeks figuring out where to implement the new feature, while it could have been a few hours of work.

That moment you realize you just completed a task for a client because they asked for it but you didn't first check to see if the request was part of the original spec and estimate and so you don't really get to be paid for it.

I am unable to see anything useful in current social networks. It all looks like big advertising platforms and I am not interested in looking on ads. This personalization is so shitty that original content is very hard to find. All is so political correct and trendy and what about uniqueness of human individuals. Shitty socialists networks. Hope this website would not be another one.

Focused on debugging Javascript after being asked for help. Original developer narrowed it down to an if statement. It was acting like the if statement was assigning the variable and causing undefined. Tested console.log before evaluation. Tried !== instead of != and same thing. Even swapped undefined and variable so it would try to assign a variable named undefined instead... It took way too long for the both of us to realize the word "let" in front of the variable on the line withing the if statement block... It overwrite the variable the moment it entered the block.... FML.

My coolest project is my Facebook - to - email adapter 😜
An interface that takes emails from an inbox (mailing list) and posts it to a Facebook group, if it is a new mail. If it is an answer, it finds the original post and posts the new mail as a comment.
Once every hour it checks Facebook for comments on the posts it made, creates a list and sends it the the mailling list 😀

Product owner said don’t allow decimals in markup and we disabled decimals. At the 11th hour she said well what I wanted was for them to add decimals and we round up and save the rounded version. They initially type in 20.6 round up to 21 then calculate the percentage. And you refresh the page markup now says 21% not your original value. How is that even smart.

Transferred a lot of important files in between PC with a 32 GB thumbdrive. One time, when I needed it the most, it couldn't read. It had the original up-to-date information on everything. Backup files were old and found in either emails, in another PC somewhere else and on an ex-colleagues laptop that, due to poor office management, lost track of where that laptop is.

"Yeah sir I got the logo. Yeah sir it's totally original and I didn't just added a little curve to the Ubuntu logo"

Another terrible rant from the inhereted Hydra source code. So deep in the dark dungeon of that code I noticed something interesting. They declare this INT32 array with an incredibly long (like 200 values) list of hard coded magic numbers. Something along the lines of:

INT32 array[200] = {-1,0,1,21,4,7,19,33...};

However, the resulting output was incorrect. After spending a fort night and a good chunk of my remaining sanity I had overcone the 437 levels of indirection left by the previous programmers, and narrowed it down to this line. But it looked perfectly fine.

I pull up the diffs and notice someone had checked in a change to the source. I track it to this line and find what the original data had been.

INT32 array[200] = {-1,0,1,2l,4,7,19,33...};

In VS the default font shows l and 1 as fucking identical. Someone had accidentally made that change to 21 from the original 2l and checked it in. I mean I can't really blame them. Who the fucking hell inatantiates a fucking int32 array and peppers in a fucking 2l (long) for no fucking reason?!

!dev

But I get this mail and it's like u gotta be shitting me....

1. You give me $50K on a 500k house
2. If it goes up 100k, you get 40 + (80% profit risk free) the original 50
3. If it goes down, I lose the original and still owe u 10k (20% of the original)

I saw someone posting a GitHub repository under their name. I looked into the repository and I thought that the repo is really cool and the person did a very good job creating this.

I went back to the repo later at night and found that it is a fork from a famous repo with over 2K stars. The thing is, the shared/forked repo has no changes from the original repo. So the person is sharing forked repos under their name just for internet praise! The fork got about 30 stars for nothing!!

Why don't most products follow a minimalist approach right till the end? Most start ups start like that. But when things begin to fall apart or become better they tend to deviate. While the earlier reason is understandable (because no one likes to fail so they'll do anything to not fail), the second reason seems to me more of an organisational creation than what the users want.

From my understanding as the product becomes popular positions (managerial or product) created need to justify their presence. What do they do? So the breath of fresh air brings in a lot of garbage that may not be required and would be in deviance from the main product idea.

It is debatable that audiences would not accept such ideas that are being brought in, because hey audiences are smart. And they are. But the organisation in order to justify the original wrong decision tends to push their new features (through offers or marketing campaigns). This makes the organisation invested into a wrong direction and security of jobs of the new managers/product people. Win win situation, but lose lose for the organisation and the original product.

TL;DR: I should just stick to Python. I'm not touching front-end stuffs.

I got promoted to moderator of the subreddit of the game I play. Got greeted by a list of task involving tweaking the stylesheet (CSS). I said fine, I screwed around with CSS before I can screw with this again. So now I'm in charge of the whole op. Alone. Yay /s.

The objective is just dark-theme-ing the thing because white hurts (we all know that). So I fired up Firefox, made a test subreddit, cloned the whole stylesheet and sprites and started screwing around with my editor and Inspector Tool. And it hit me: One element refused to render (I don't if that's the correct technical term), and I don't even know why the fuck it didn't render. 15 minutes fuzzing through and it still gave a middle finger. Fine. Fuck you. Full revert, back to original. Then I changed the original sheet one change at a time, reloading after every changes. After changing everything, it suddenly work. What the fuck. Why the fuck. How the fuck. How the bloody fuck. How in the bloody fuck.

(""Fucks" per minute" sure is an effective measure of code quality)