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API Guy.
He has a serious regex problem.
Regexes are never easy to read, but the ones he uses just take the cake. They're either blatantly wrong, or totally over-engineered garbage that somehow still lacks basic functionality. I think "garbage" here is a little too nice, since you can tell what garbage actually is/was without studying it for five minutes.
In lieu of an actual rant (mostly because I'm overworked), I'll just leave a few samples here. I recommend readying some bleach before you continue reading.
Not a valid url name regex:
VALID_URL_NAME_REGEX = /\A[\w\-]+\Z/
Semi-decent email regex: (by far the best of the four)
VALID_EMAIL_REGEX = /\A[\w+\-.]+@[a-z\d\-.]+\.[a-z]+\z/i
Over-engineered mess that only works for (most) US numbers:
VALID_PHONE_REGEX = /1?\s*\W?\s*([2-9][0-8][0-9])\s*\W?\s*([2-9][0-9]{2})\s*\W?\s*([0-9]{4})(\se?x?t?(\d*))?/
and for the grand finale:
ZIP_CODE_REGEX = /(^\d{5}(-\d{4})?$)|(^[ABCEGHJKLMNPRSTVXY]{1}\d{1}[A-Z]{1} *\d{1}[A-Z]{1}\d{1}$)|GIR[ ]?0AA|((AB|AL|B|BA|BB|BD|BH|BL|BN|BR|BS|BT|CA|CB|CF|CH|CM|CO|CR|CT|CV|CW|DA|DD|DE|DG|DH|DL|DN|DT|DY|E|EC|EH|EN|EX|FK|FY|G|GL|GY|GU|HA|HD|HG|HP|HR|HS|HU|HX|IG|IM|IP|IV|JE|KA|KT|KW|KY|L|LA|LD|LE|LL|LN|LS|LU|M|ME|MK|ML|N|NE|NG|NN|NP|NR|NW|OL|OX|PA|PE|PH|PL|PO|PR|RG|RH|RM|S|SA|SE|SG|SK|SL|SM|SN|SO|SP|SR|SS|ST|SW|SY|TA|TD|TF|TN|TQ|TR|TS|TW|UB|W|WA|WC|WD|WF|WN|WR|WS|WV|YO|ZE)(\d[\dA-Z]?[ ]?\d[ABD-HJLN-UW-Z]{2}))|BFPO[ ]?\d{1,4}/
^ which, by the way, doesn't match e.g. Australian zip codes. That cost us quite a few sales. And yes, that is 512 characters long.47 -
On trivia night at a local bar, the emcee had a "sculpt something from Star Wars out of Play Dough" contest. The prize was a plush BB-8 robot.
I made an unidentifiable shape, accompanied with this message.
I won.
3 -
Me: i have to pass this test tomorrow so I better study
Me to me: start an overambitious project that will take years to complete3 -
I've read so many stuff in english that it feels really weird to read something in my native language(german). Especially when they're using german words in their code:
public Nahrung mittagessen;
public Gast()
{
mittagessen = new Gericht("Wiener Schnitzel");
}
are you fucking kidding me?!
10 -
#include <rant>
So, in my class I have this one dude who also code, "Awesome" I thought when I first saw that he codes, he codes in c# and claims to know JavaScript.
So I hung out with him a bit on recess/break time, and I eventually found out that he is a d*ckhead
First of all, he claims that he can code ANYTHING, I mean triple A games, the machine that can find pi in 10 seconds. And I know that this isn't true, because he "can't bother" with showing me it.. whatever I think.
I also mentioned that he is a d*ck, why am i saying that? Because if you make an error he would just go, "there is supposed to be *insert random bullshit here* instead of *a typo that I made*, retard. You are honestly fucking stupid" Listen, I love when people point errors out, it really helps. But when you say it like that, it honestly makes me sad. One day, I was messing around with classes in python and he went "hey idiot! That's wrong! There is supposed to be a *random word* instead of *working code*". The funny thing is, HE DOESNT KNOW WHAT PYTHON IS. So I comment out the working code and puts in his c# bs there instead. And he just says, "it isn't working because there's a private class instead of a public class. Ehmm, excuse me? This is python, ok.
Oh and he told me I was a retard because I can't develop triple a games using pure JavaScript.
Any tips on dealing with the guy?23 -
!Rant
*Whenever there's a big hacking thing that happened in cyberspace and the media gets the footage*
"Hey! You! you the website developer. Can you like get a hoodie and smash the keyboard."
"Why?"
"Big virus leak"
"But that's not ha.."
"SHUT THE FUCK UP AND GET THE HOODIE ALREADY"5 -
me: I will major in CS so I can work with computers, not people
narrator: But little did he know...4 -
Look to your left, then look to your right...
All of those devs started out exactly as you are doing now!7 -
So, my last rant here was 3 years ago, and i just signed in again to devrant to post this fucking shit.
There is this guy who is a Project Manager in my office, I haven´t work with him but he sits in front of me and i have to listen to his bullshit almost every fucking day. Anyways, the other day he was talking to some other guy (a PM, also) and he said something like this:
"Programming is the most overrated thing ever, everyone can do it, you could do it, i could do it just googling stuff, i could even replace almost every programmer in this office, it´s the easiest thing ever. a programmer couldn´t do my job even if his life depended on it ´cause they can´t talk, they can´t manage people, they can´t manage their own time, heck they can´t even manage to talk to each other. they´re just a bunch of incels who think they´re important and their job is shit anyway".
They don´t see us as human begins, they see us as necessary evil.
(apologize if i wrote something wrong. English is not my first language)9 -
We're digital plumbers.
90% of this job is figuring out what thing to connect to what thing and then figuring out how to connect them.
Writing the code that goes in-between both ends of the pipe is easy if not trivial 90% of the time.
Meaningful change in this industry is centered around endpoints: contracts, deployments, etc. Nobody needs yet another way to organize and import their leftpad().12 -
So here I am in class with just two weeks of knowledge in coding and this douchebag level 300 comes in like, 'Hey i'm a hacker and mid tier programmer and i can see you struggling with your basic code can i be of help?'... so I'm like, 'yh man. I'm a transfer biology student and i don't know a sh*t about coding but i have managed to buid a fine website of just two pages but i would also like to try hacking but first what programming languages do you know?' Guess what......the lil f*cker said HTML. I mean I may not know much but i know that can and will never be a programming language.11
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<rant>
Freelance employers should learn that a "full stack" developer does not equal "fully proficient and experienced in everything code and comp. related". ESPECIALLY if the job pays less than 6£ an hour.
</rant>5 -
21 lines of business logic (including whitespace and comments)
9 lines of build config
386 lines of tests (and tests for the tests)9 -
POV: You fixed a hairy bug at a FAANG as a:
L3: "You're a technical wizard!"
L4: "Good job."
L5: "Why did you allow this into your team's code base?"
L6: "Why didn't you delegate that?"1 -
it's so fucking hot in here and I've got no work and still 3 hours left to go...just let me go hooome!5
-
Want maximum efficiency in python?
def say(text):
print(text)
You save 2 keypresses everytime you print16 -
It wasn't exactly a meeting, just boss' boss coming into our office to ask about a feature. Went something like this (BB - boss' boss (or Big Bitch, whichever you prefer, Me, SP - second programmer) :
BB: Hey guys, I've got a question.
Me (without turning around since I was focused on whatever I was doing at the time) : Sure, go ahead.
BB: Could we do a country map where you would be able to click a region and get to a page with posts for that region?
Me (without pausing what I was doing) : Sure, easy. Html imagemap, or embedded flash if it's supposed to be fancy and animated.
BB: ...how would we do it?
Me (in exactly the same tone of voice, trying to mimic the same sound sample being played again) : Html imagemap, or embedded flash if it's supposed to be fancy and animated... Links leading to the same address as the filtering form for regions already goes. All that's needed is the map graphic.
BB: ...but how would we link to the correct results? Would we need to make new page for those?
Me: *sigh*
At this point SP stops doing whatever he was doing, proceeds to sit next to her by the whiteboard, and they proceed to talk about this for about 45 minutes, which to this day, I have no idea how they managed. I had no idea how they managed to stretch it for this long even as I was listening to them talking and drawing stuff on the whiteboard about it.
Afterwards, I've been reprimanded for not paying proper attention when important stuff was being solved, and a month later when I was being fired, I had been reprimanded for it once again.
Fuck that company. Fuck those people.
I have no idea how they managed to still not go bankrupt.15 -
I always thought i could use some extra hours a day, but 40 seems a little excessive...
This is also the first time i encountered such a bug in the wild, and i'm way more excited than i should be, hehe.
5 -
<rant>
I really don't enjoy visual studio
Is not bad but it's not worth the disk space it takes up..
Also, if your disk is starting to fill up and vs is filling the most space, YOU CAN'T <swearword> UNINSTALL IT FROM YOUR PC
To remove the shit, I had to upgrade to Windows 10 (our school PC's are not allowed to have Linux) and delete my whole fucking disk, just to get it removed
Fix your shit ms
</rant>12 -
Step 1. Have no dissertation project.
Step 2. Wait for the last 3 hours till the deadline to come up with an idea.
Step 3. Realise that your just-thought-up project idea is something companies like Google and Amazon are still trying to figure out. But there is no time left.
Step 4: Approach your supervisor with the words "Imagine the possibilities". They respond with "Imagine the difficulty".
Step 5: They sign on it regardless since they are curious to see you fuck up with style, also you are too much in love with your idea already, and refuse to drop it.
Step 6: fml4 -
Changing the native browser scrollbar should warrant the death penalty.
Do not make it narrower. Do not make the colors blend with the background. Do not hijack it its functionality. Do not minimize it until I hover.
I am so fucking tired of websites that think they are in charge of my browsing "experience" and hide or otherwise marginalize the single most useful part of the page's UI.4 -
Ok I fucked up.. I installed elementary OS on a USB from my school pc..
Windows still work but I have to plug in the elementaryOS USB for grub to boot so I can boot windows
Fuck me14 -
story which happened yesterday and ended in mixed emotions
big changes in our company were announced, non tech employees changed positions, new business plan, people changing teams, shattering my plans of relocation back to my home country on the end of this year... told my manager I'm not happy, scheduled a call with manager on the highest position I'm in contact with
the call BB - big boss
BB: things are changing, it was decided like this, must be like this, can't do anything with it, other manager bla bla
ME: yes, but you knew I wanted to relocate, now my only option of relocating is to leave the company
BB: well, yes, thats unfortunate, but we would like you to stay, manager bla bla about growth, good work environment
ME: yes, but you're leaving me in this team as a only developer with people who not just don't have any tech background, they don't have a clue about dev stuff, like... at all * me = very not happy *
BB: but you know all our systems and work processes which will stay in place and you can teach new people, we need you * stopped, because probably realised what he said *
ME: * arrogant little laugh * well, i mean, I think i can live with it, but really wanted to talk about this, so you guys know I don't agree with what is happening here
BB: * sigh * ok, well.. yes, I mean, we were counting on this, we can give you a raise, but not much, maybe x%
ME: x% sounds good, I guess I can learn to live with this situation for a while
* everybody laughs *8 -
Sprint 0: This design is the appropriate amount of engineering abstraction.
Sprint 2: This is over-engineered, too much work
Sprint 5: This is under-engineered, too many edge cases
Sprint 10: This is over-engineered, component Foo could be replaced by a bash script
Sprint 42: Foo is now the cornerstone of half our business logic2 -
Not really a rant and not very random. More like a very short story.
So I didn't write any rant regarding the whole Microsoft GitHub topic. I don't like to judge stuff quickly. I participated in few threads though.
Another thing is I also don't use GitHub very much apart from giving 🌟 to repos as a bookmark. Have one hobby project there. That's all. So I don't worry that much. I'm that selfish and self concerned. :3
I was first introduced to version control system by learning how to use tortoisesvn around 2008. We had a group project and one of the guys was an experienced and amazing programmer unlike the rest of us. He was doing commercial projects while we were at our 1st and 2nd year. Uni had svn repo server. He taught us about tortoisesvn. He also had Basecamp and taught us how to use it as well. So that's how I learned the benefits of using versioning tools and project management tools. On side note, our uni didn't teach any of those in detail :3
After that project, I was hooked to use versioning tools. So until school kicked me out, I was able to use their svn server. When I was on my own, I had to ask Google for help. I found a new world. There are still free svn services that I can use with certain limited functions. That's not the new world; I found people saying how git is better than svn in various ways. It was around 2010,2011.
At first I was a bit reluctant to touch git because of all the commands in terminal approach. But then I found that there is tortoisegit. I still thank tortoisesvn creator for that. I'm a sucker for GUI tools. So then I also have to pick which git servers to use. Hell yeah, self hosted gitlab is the way to go man. Well that's what the internet said. So I listened. I got it up and running after numerous trial and error. I used it briefly. Then I came back to my country on 2012-2013; the land of kilobytes per minute (yes not second, minute).
My country's internet was improved only after 2016. So from 2013 to 2016, I did my best not to rely on internet. I wasn't able to afford a server at my less than 10 people, 12ft*50ft office. So I had to find alternative to gitlab which preferably run on windows. Found bonobo and it was alright. It worked. Well had crazy moments here and there when the PC running Bonobo got virus and stuff. But we managed. We survived. Then finally multi national Telecom corporates came to our country.
We got cheaper and faster mobile data, broadband and fiber plans. Finally I can visit pornhub ... sorry github. Github is good. I like it. But that doesn't mean I should share my ugly mutated projects to the rest of the world. I could keep using Bonobo but it has risks. So I had to think for an alternative. I remembered that gitlab didn't have cloud hosting service when I checked them out in the past. So I just looked into Bitbucket and happy with their free plans of 5 users and unlimited private repos. I am very very cheap and broke.
That's why I said I don't really care that much about the whole M$GitHub topic at the beginning. However due to that topic, I have visited GitLab website again and found out they have cloud hosting now and their free plan is unlimited users and unlimited repos. So hell yeah. Sorry BB. I am gonna move to cheaper and wider land.
TL;DR : I am gonna move to GitLab because of their free plan.4 -
Fuck me why do my unit tests pass with garbage input.
I can't go into a long weekend with this shit in my head rent free.4 -
Yesterday my tests caught more typos in copy/paste test cases than in actual logic.
'twas was a decent day.2 -
I was given 6 whole months to rewrite some old monolithic web app exactly 5 months ago today. Now I have to show my boss the progress I've made. How do I explain him that I wasted my time in this order:
1.- heavy procrastination
2.- try new frameworks to work with, pick one, start writing the app, regret and start over again using a different framework.
3.- devrant
4.- existencial crisis and self doubt.
Now all I have are a bunch of incomplete buggy modules and a mental breakdown.8 -
my fist job... i get to edit a c++ code written by a (mind you) programming company that they teamed with for the past(mind you again) 3 years ...
now just for starters, this code was edited by self taught coders that are really good engineers(they are really good), that didnt really know how the code worked before yet they still changed it, and it worked, how ever they wanted some changes.
i get the project files, and there is not one single comment describing what is happening... only code commented out... and no documentation what so ever were done....
so below are some of my comments that i wrote after i finished adding what i had to add, and fixing what i had to fix:
/*first rule of C anything coding, no actual functions in the header, well let me introduce you to a fully functioning thread running program all in the header, enjoy*/
//used to control the thread
// i honestly dont know why, but it worked soooooo yea...
// TG uncommented // for absolutely no reason what so ever...
//used to communicate with the port
//the message to be sent to the inverter, which has a code that will handle it
//hmmmmmm...
//again not usefull since we are using radioButtons
// same ...
// same ...
// same ...
// they said they dont even use this mode, but none the less, same ...
// calculate the checksum for the message
// ....
// one of the things that work, and god forbids i touch
// used for the status displayed on screen
// used for the (censored :P) status in the message
// used for the (censored :P) status in the message
// not used at all, but the message structure contains it and i refuse to edit that abomination
// used for the (censored :P) status in the message
// used for the (censored :P) status in the message
// just dont ask and roll with it, i didnt want to touch this
// saaaaame ...
// if before true this saaaaaame ...
// value of the (censored :P)
// it pains me to say it again, but this is no use
// (censored :P) input
// (censored :P) input
// only place seen , like for real it was just defined,sooooo yea :D
// well you know how it is
// message string
// check sum string
/****below from feed back****/
// (censored :P) coming in
// (censored :P) coming in
// (censored :P) coming in
// (censored :P)
/****below is the output to the receiver ****/
//(censored :P)
// (censored :P)
// (censored :P)
// (censored :P)
//you thought we were done.... nope, no idea. it comes in the feedback
// not used, literally commented out the one time it was used
// same ...
// XD, man this is a blast, same ...
// nope ...
// used to store the port chosen for the communication
// is a static for the number of data we have recorded so far, and as a row indicator for the recording method
// used to indicate the page we are on in the excel file, as well as the point in physical point in the test
// same ... oh look at this a positive same :D
// same ...
// same ...6 -
Oh God! I have a java exam coming up in two days and i'm so not done with my project work for evaluation. Truth is, i haven't even started yet since i was so focused on building up my javascript knowlegde. I'm fucked.4
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!rant
EULA proposition for broke developers with no legal knowledge whatsoever (like me): “By installing/using this software you agree not to sue me.”
??? git good4 -
I hate application launchers.
When i start an application, i WANT IT TO START. What i don’t want is your bullshit, custom, logo and splash screen infested piece of shit launcher to start up, with the only option of loading a project or file up, or worse than that, when the only option is to start the fucking application, which should have already happened.
Also, splash screens. Fuck your 5second branded splash screen when your cocksucking application has the fucking loading footprint of MS Notepad.2 -
"We only permit non-restricted, non-offensive alpha-numeric passwords..."
Does ,wnW\M@Bb;v3F(xx offend you?5 -
Recently briefed a manager that we need to adjust Q2 plans to address the institutional knowledge lost during layoffs.
Yes, I know, write documentation, etc. This is reality, all our shit ain't documented.2 -
Rejected for the job . Out in technical round, though i gave all the correct answers.
Me: seating outside with a down face.🦁
HR: what happened? you seems to bit low .
Me: sir ,got rejected in technical round.🐷
HR: work on mistakes.
Me: yeah sir🦊
Inner me: tell me the mistakes fucker...
Why ? Why? Why?
Dealing with rejection for no reason 🐀17 -
2 years ago I thought you had to make an if statement for every coordinate in a game to make the character move1
-
horror stories from my old job: we had to ask to get the internet 'turned on' (of course only for a short period of time), you had to disable loading images, because otherwise you'd have to wait for fucking EVER til you could safely move your mouse and: Google had a massive lag when you scrolled. let me repeat that: GOOGLE. LAGGED. I didn't even know that was fucking possible! and the worst part: my old job was at a software dev company. not a shitty IT department at -I don't know- a bakery?! I mean, wtf?! and it wasn't even a start up. and they still exist! how? why?! I'm still not sure how I managed to work there for five months...1
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Like seriously how fucked up are those ORMs? Prisma “yeah we support mongodb, but we will force you to write in a relational way.” I always hit on hard walls whenever ever I try an ORM in my projects.
Don’t get me wrong they are good for dummy stuff. But if you want to go a little bit crazy with mongo, embedded documents with refs it’s a mess…
Typescript and good old mongodb adapter bb anything else.14 -
This is how my macbook keybboard writes the letter "b" it’s not happening all the time though, sometimes it outputs b and and other times bb, wtf I only pressed it once. And it's happening randomly, fuck this shit, I cant even take it to apple customer service and leave it there for a week or more. I guess I'm living with it and don't bbother fixing it. fuck b errr6
-
<rant>
FFS
Windows is the worst garbage ever...
First I get a virus becouse the antivirus didn't fucking work, then I try and do a system reset WICH FAILS, them u have to get into the uefi and do a system reset back to Windows 8, Windows 8..
So I go to the windows insider program and download the media creator thing and
.
.
IT DOESN'T WORK
It just stops at "searching for updates"and now I'm stuck with Windows 8
I can't even get the Nvidia drivers so i can't play games anymore
A big fuck you to Microsoft and merry Christmas
Btw any fixes? Thank you
</rant>9 -
wow!!! it's been long but i had to rant this........My course's teaching assisstant gave me a fricking B in his Interrim assessment all because i used the pow() function in php. He said it's only available in C++ so im wrong about the whole question.2
-
Our #bigtech repo is like 19 billion LOC so how am I the first one to try to do simpleThing with obviouslyRelatedThing?
My search foo yields nothing and I fear its not supported yet.
fml4 -
I work so hard to name things well and yet last year's code is always full of esoteric and misleading nonsense.3
-
started a dev apprenticeship recently: 3,5 days at work, 1,5 at school. using/learning c# at school. The title of the ebook they offer us to use: 'c# 2005'
wut? -
!Rant
Does people add in @dfox and @trogus so that they can point out that it isn't a feature yet when/if they see the rant2 -
Windows apparently does reboots for updates n stuff outside your normal time of usage nowadays.
Windows apparently also thinks that your normal usage shouldn't be over 12 hours.
So now i have to decide if I'm more in the mood for random updates in the morning when i need to get shit done (ugh) or at night when i have finally time to relax. -
i'm trying to figure out how to work this;
The element now has an id of thumbnail. With this selector, use the example CSS values above to place a box-shadow on the card.
this is the css values;
box-shadow: 0 10px 20px rgba(0,0,0,0.19), 0 6px 6px rgba(0,0,0,0.23);
and this is the code i used;
.thumbnail {
box-shadow: 0 10px 20px rgba(0,0,0,0.19), 0 6px 6px rgba(0,0,0,0.23);
but it's mot working on the fcc site.2 -
Effective 1:1s are perhaps the most important soft skill that no one teaches you.
The HR onboarding section for 1:1s is only chapter one. But your manager won't teach you, your skip level won't teach you, and your mentor won't teach you. At best one of them even has an effective 1:1 skill set.
90% of 1:1s become operations: What went wrong this week and what needs to happen next week. Basically a private standup.
You attend 1:1s all year and yet somehow your manager doesn't know the difficulties you overcame, what you'd like to change, or how you're pushing yourself to grow. Then you get re-orged to a new manager.
If like to meet someone with effective 1:1s *and* low job satisfaction.3 -
!rant
kind of annoyed though
'We at microsoft have taken the same approach with words as with your system resources. We do so little with so much.'
This is worse than Apple's bullshit advertising.
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