I know someone from Uni who used a green text on red background IDE to make sure the colourblind person sat next to him couldn't copy his code...

Spooky

When we finally get to Mars, all programmers on Earth will scream in pain over having to program another timezone

Boss called ! Said no need to come in today because it's friday and I worked hard this week... feeling like a boss. 💪

Friend : Queue is just 'Q' followed by 4 silent letter..
Me : they are not silent they are waiting for their turn...
☺☺☺

git commit -m "adding summer 2009 photos"

While I was looking for a wallpaper to use on my laptop, I bumped on this one and nostalgia kicked in!
It only took an instant to save it and set it!!! 😂
Whoever did this, s/he gets my respect!

Knock knock.

Race condition.

Who's there?

How do you fix a bug in a badly written code?
You don't. You re-write that shit!

Once upon a time there was a dev.
The dev had a resume that said he could dev.
We called the dev, he sounded intelligent.
We hired the dev, who was a bit green, on a three month probationary period.
The dev did very little.
When asked, we said he contributed to discussions, but seemed unclear about what to do, and maybe they could keep him as an intern if they wanted to have him at all.
They hired him. As a full time dev.
6 months later, that dev was shocked to find we could log into the servers with a privileged account.
We (his team mates) were sad.
We asked him to fix a few prod errors.
A little while later he said "Done!"
We then had to walk him through how to actually fix them, not just add a couple pieces of info to the table.
We were sad, again.
We asked him to fix some prod errors again.
We had to walk him through the process again
We expressed concerns to our superiors about his abilities because he was all theory, no hands on ability
They promoted him
We were sad
A few of us said "Fuck you guys, I'm going home"
They said OK
Now that guy is the only one that "knows" that code base
I get calls sometimes asking me questions.
I told them to pay me a consultant fee.
They said no
I said no
They called again
I laughed at them

Listen to the people who know when you ask them questions.
Listen to the people who know when they tell you there is a problem
Don't be like that company

She: Which car do you have ?

Me :-

Life in IT

Sending a well typed professional email to your boss, but receiving a:

Sure thing

Dave

Sent from my iPhone

When I hear sales guy using technical terms in the wrong context while doing his sales pitch to a client...

Salute to those who deleted it😂😂😂

Woke up to see this ......
(windows boot error)

I'm starting to get the hang of this app.
I'm quite timid, I've only given a few +1s around.
I suppose this is my "Hello, world!" post!

Being a software developer automatically qualifies you to fix paper jams and wi-fi issues in the eyes of your family.

It was really tough to get the control back!

I like it when a boss is a Dev (or a former Dev). Makes them a bit more sympathetic towards us i think :)

So which type of coder are you ???

To the fucking noob experts !!

When you apply breakpoint to the 'if' statement but 'else' part gets executed...

1. Applied to a tech company based in Seattle
2. Interviewed
3. Got rejected because "At the moment, they do not hire international students."

Then, why did you interview me in the first place? :')

#truth

No Girl can give the pleasure of coding late night😂😂

/* secret devRant script */

let joke = "why do Java developers wear glasses? Because they can't C#"

//check if rant was posted recently
if ( !recentRants.find(joke) ) {
postRant(joke)
}

White screen of death

Who all are genius hear ???
Share you !best experiences in comments
(if you understood and have any lol😂😂😂😜😜)

#LinuxLove

If your only experience is Uni, don't put skills down as 'Advanced' on your damn CV

Lower expectations, deliver results

This “Caps lock is on” feature when typing in passwords was probably very angrily added by a developer after several failed log in attempts.

Why it is hard for general public to believe this is fake;
Nasa had performed an experiment in which they got this result an internal network 😂😂😂;
For God sake please don't try seeding torrents on NASA'S internal network 😂😂😂😂;

That feeling when you solve a problem that you thought is gonna take you days in 10 mins.... Still believe that it's a trap 😐

Human source code is stored in balls :O

The effort I put into git commit messages directly reflects my mood and level of tiredness.

I love the skill requirements section of a junior Dev job advertisement.

To summarise "Basically you'll need all the skills and experience of a senior, but we are gonna pay you much much less". 😔

Apple took a major step
3 party manufacturers created a hype and addressed this step as a problem
Then make products to solve the pseudo problems
Smart business idea 😂😂😂
Lol😂😂

My wife wouldn't stop asking me to help her with FB. As a joke I told her if she didn't quit, I'd delete it (Tech stuff goes over her head like a 747). Well, she kept on so I opened up the Dev tools. I started by adding just some non sense to one of the divs. She saw it pop up on screen and was like "Wait...you can really do that?" then I highlighted the body tag and hit backspace. The whole thing disappeared, it was great. She legit freaked out for a minute and begged me to fix it. I popped up the console and started typing random things. Created an array with some mumbo-jumbo, a couple of quick, meaningless functions and snuck hitting Ctrl+R in there, refreshing the page. She was so happy that Facebook worked again, that she stopped asking me how to do whatever it was

Joke c++

Microsoft edge 😂😂😂😂😂😂

Weirdest co-worker? I met this one guy who preferred waterfall to agile development...

Today we have a client visiting work. Dressing like a proper business person is mandatory 🙄

Caught myself spelling name Jason as json. Send help

--------------------

Moment when your boss catches you reading dev-rants while you are supposed to be working...

Giving functions exciting names so you can feel like a Bond villain while programming:

execute(); destroy(); fire(); isDead();

God this code is hideous

* git blame *

Ahhhh

*slowly back away from the computer*

When developers can't use Regex:

'Your credit card number cannot contain spaces'

ಠ_ಠ

Zebra crossing need a change

Now what, IntelliJ...? 🤨
(moral of the story: Don't install new things when you want to go to bed!)

Life in tech industry... 😜

karens on stack overflow...

*Writes a recursive function that works first time*

*Feels like programming God*

!rant
I'm an idiot. I freely admit this. I spent a solid 3 hours on a new endpoint in a WCF service, only to have it looked upon and told to fix it. I knew that the service I was calling didn't work like that. I did, I knew it. I didn't think about it while coding the endpoint, but I knew it. At least the changes only needed to happen in one file, and only took about 25 minutes with tests and all. But damn it, I knew better. I looked at my buddy, straight in the eye, and told him "Told you I was an idiot." He laughed, I laughed, the table laughed, we killed the table. It was a great time!

I REALLY HATE TECHNICAL PHONE INTERVIEWS!!!
I was asked: "What are the differences between C++ and Java?"
I got a mind blank at that point... Good thing it didn't last long and I came back with a reply.

But seriously, if you can't speak English clearly, why? Why? WHY?!
(I lost a whole question because I couldn't understand the interviewer. ☹)

At least it went "well" and now I have to improve the "technical" document and do 2 tests by Monday!

A new item in the 2018 bazzel-less world

🖥💻💻

Merge conflicts in git I guess 😄

!rant
Just started working for a new company. Super cool. Just like the last one (as far as perks), except they actually trust their devs.

Old company: Make sure your code is extensible
Devs at old company: You know it's not written in stone right?
Old company: Does that mean you can make it do this?
Devs at old company: No. That's the wrong code base

New company: I need a feature. Get it done when you can
New company devs: Well, guess I'll take some time to refactor all this stuff while I'm at it
~Some time later~
New company: Thanks, that feature works great!

No staring over shoulders, asking when it will be done. No asking why we want to refactor something. As long as work continues to flow, there are no issues. It's great!

Also, if we want to try a new tech, we just have to put together a short paper explaining why it will work better in that situation than the tech that's already in place.

1. Visit the official site.
2. Browse for official tools.
3. Check the official documentation.
4. Check the Internet for other non-audiovisual sources.
5. Try making a simple application.
6. Run out of application ideas.
7. Move on to the next shiny dev technology.
8. Go to step #1.

Secret open source development

// FYI : It is at the 6 floor of the building

Programming commandment: Thou shall, from time to time look at your old code, introspect and improve!

When you push seemingly harmless untested code to production server which breaks the whole application...

Video call interviews are the best! You don’t even need trousers...

**My Resume** : Worked with JavaScript and .NET for the last 3 years ... have an Associates degree...more things

**Recruiter**
You look like you'd be a great fit for this position. We require a Bachelors degree, but we're willing to take 4 years progressive experience in lieu of each year of schooling.

**First**
4 YEARS of experience for EACH YEAR of school?

**Me**
I guess basic reading and math aren't required to be a job recruiter? Man...Only 5 more years and I'll be able to see how my skills as a developer with 8 years of professional experience will go over as an Entry level developer!

!dev

When devRant crashes on my Windows Phone due to scrolling too many rants and still there were more left to scroll. I suppose a higher power is giving me a sign to head to sleep!

!rant
<confession>
Ever since I've discovered devRant, I use my avatar as profile picture on other sites as well.
</confession>

I love reviewing code. I learned a better way to write something. That feeling of "hum, that's a lot better than what I have been doing" is great.

It has sated my hunger for never-ending knowledge.
It allows me to freely express myself.
It has given me the goal to surpass all these people who are better than me.

Also unlimited anger that can end me up behind bars.

FUCKING FINALLY TIME!!!
I did it! I made IntelliJ IDEA find my Android SDK installation!
Thanks SO!!!
Now I can experience the joy of Gradle build times!!!

Why did Google had to make so difficult to work with Android without its Studio?!?!?!

When your boss tells you to work on legacy PHP4 codebase...

Look here sir. If I have raised 12 defects on the feature you were working on its not a personal attack... I am not trying to publicly humilate you or doubting your ninja coding skills. We are on the same team. Just trying to make a better product that's my job as qa. So chill out with passive aggressive comments on the tickets.

You don't hear me making a peep when you take my name and say I missed the issue if someone higher up points out the same defects.

Some mother fucker parked his car in my parking lot...and it's lying there for more than 2 weeks...

At the first company I worked for out of college, the CEO was a bit like a child. Whenever he came up with a new feature he wanted to add to the product, it had to be done asap otherwise we were going to "miss the boat." Every single time.

So rewind to a few years ago. It's a normal day at work and then suddenly my team lead and the CEO call my team into the conference room. The CEO starts telling us about this industry conference (we were in online dating) that was happening and this flashy new company dating company was going to be showing off this awesome search feature.

Naturally, our CEO concocted a Hail Mary plan of how our company was going to upstage this company and get all of the press to write about us instead. Basically, the "plan" was for us to build a brand new search feature of our own, in the week before the conference, and then he stated that the press would "have to write about us because ours will be better."

Everyone on my team knew it was ridiculous but we were pretty young and naive so we busted our asses to get this search feature out the door in the short week. The Friday before we stayed until like 2 AM. It was a little bit fun because the people on my team were cool, but the whole situation was absurd and no one, except the CEO, thought this had any chance of working.

Annnnddd in the end we didn't get an ounce of press, the search feature was pulled from our site, and the "awesome" company that we were so worried about getting all the press is out of business. But hey, we did get it done!

Just taken over a project from a "high end" London agency to find their code is just poorly copy/pasted examples from the WordPress codex.

Nothing like saturday morning dev and wifey making you breakfast of the year.

Programming on a train is always interesting. I expect a minimum of one dirty/confused look off a member of the public.

do you guys ever use the mouse?

Set my alarm 25 minutes earlier to check out this awesome thing called devRant. Before I start my day. 😎

This happened 3 years ago in my previous company. It was a small start up company and we worked on PHP stack. One of the its ex-founders had written Windows Mobile App which now had to be upgraded with new features. So we hired this new dot net guy. I always thought dot net guys were ELITE coders and was excited to see how they work.
While I played Xbox and had fun, our dot net guy stuck to his workstation furiously working. My boss who was casually strolling out of his office for a stretch saw dot net guy working hard and suggested we all developers should take him as an example.
20 days went by and each day the dot net guy did the same. He came, he silently worked on his workstation, he left in the evening. In those 20 days my boss asked twice to the dot net guy if he has finished features he was assigned but he said he did not. After a month when he said the same negative answer and had nothing to show for the work he has done he was fired.
I was so curious to see what code that ELITE coder had written for a month but could not deliver a feature(Maybe some error he could not fix?). So I open the code repo on which he worked and I see 30 commits from that guy to it. He had made a single commit each day(Fair enough he wants to commit everday before leaving). It was time to check his commit diffs to see his ELITE code. What do I find? In every fucking commit he either added a blank line to the DocBlock or removed the same. Nothing less nothing more! So much for the hyped not-so-ELITE dot net guy...

Each and every time I sit on a technical test I am reminded I don't know the theoretical background of the programming languages I claim I know.

Me to university: You taught us C++, java, DS Algo and PHP only right?

University: Yes

Me: So our college project must be around these only?

University: Yes... But No, here are your only options for our college project

1. MEAN/MERN Stack Website
2. Machine Learning
3. Data Science
4. IOT
5. Android App

Me: WTF?

Confession: every now and then a Google search for a JS function or something directs me to W3schools. And I proceed to use it. And I'm not afraid to admit this!!

So I walked into a business the other day where they make flyers and business cards etc. Wanted something specific so went to what they call their "developers". So they have some kind of dodgy pdf editor open there and I know exactly what I want so I asked can you take a RGB color..... the reaction was glassy eyes. And after that the woman started to scream at me and telling me that I have no idea what it is like to be a "Developer". Ended up walking out and going to another place.....

The moment when you are too scared to make any needed changes in your code fearing you will untumble all the structured mess of spaghetti code you have written... 😳😨😕

Curious did any of you have a specific reason to learn how to program?

I wanted to be involved in aerospace but realised I'd probably never be an Astronaut, but i could learn how to write the software that controls the spacecrafts!

Programming commandment: Thou shall not commit code snippet copied from StackOverflow without adding a comment to help future coder brethren!

(This happened a few days ago:)
First day on the job, last session of debriefing, HR comes to explain us some company policies.
Among them, they want us to fill in our working hours using a smartphone app (Android & iOS only).
I raise my hand and I ask them what can I do, since I have a Windows Phone.
HR lady's face is striken with sheer terror. Since then, I'm known as the "Windows Phone Guy"... 😁
I'm more than proud of myself. 🙂

P.S. We also got some cool Windows tablet to use during our training period...

Thanks from England!

Hurray, the stickers are here! Now my laptop's awesomeness and coolness factor has been increased by infinite++!!! 😃
Thank you a lot, @dfox and @trogus!

I hate my workspace

My biggest dev regret was that I've followed other people's dream.
I lost precious time into trying being the "good kid" for my family and support them in their time of need.
Now I'm considered old for a starter and getting a dev job becomes harder with each passing day.

If I made £1 for every new JavaScript framework that came out, i would never need to work again.

Programming commandment: Thou shall blame all bad code on thy comrade who has bequeathed your company!

Sublime Text is a great editor but the fact that active development on it has seemed to come to a hault sucks.

So, I'm a veteran. I served in the Army as an information system operator/analyst. Glorified help desk, set up some equipment in the field, a few other small things. But I can make fun of vets, other branches, and those serving. I've paid my dues, and they're OK with it. Hell, they all do it too. But you have to be a vet or currently serving.

I feel like that with tech too. My buddies and I call each other geeks/nerds all the time. I get annoyed (read as pissed off) when someone from the outside does it.

I got an email from a recruiter that said something along the lines of "..basically a bunch of really smart nerds building software..." What the actual fuck? Go eat an entire bag of dicks, and choke on every single one.

I don't know which is worse:

1. My project manager telling me that I will have to make a whole project on my own within a month (frontend, backend, etc etc) for our major client and if I make it, we will get a bigger project for a longer period or
2. The colleague next to me being loud (speaking to himself, chewing things) at random intervals.

Bae: i <3 u
Me: Uncaught SyntaxError: Unexpected identifier

Colleague: We need to deliver it today so let's hardcode some values in the code to make it work
Me: Ok you do it. I don't even want to see it!

❤ I can be as creative as I want.
❤❤ It never gets boring.
❤❤❤ There is always something new to learn!

Love 😍😍😍😍

Bank holiday weekend setup...

if(night){
sleep(12*60*1000);
}else{
//TODO update when you get a job
sleep(12*60*1000);
}

Don't drink and dev. Doesn't end well.

We liked your portfolio work, but could you please show us an example of a Fibonacci sequence

ಠ_ಠ

Think I like Dev rant so far

Not 100% of dev nature:

- Got an informal interview a few days ago: Got me super happy.
- Another 2 recruiters on LinkedIn showed interest: Made me happy.
- Psychometric & technical tests popped today: Feel like failed them completely.
- 2 more career days coming up: Not all hope is lost.
- Lack of portofolio and job experience: Brain is stuck and emotionally being meh. Maybe I wasn't meant to be a dev. :-/

I've just wanted to let it out of my system. Thanks for reading it. :-)

I reset my mobile (Wileyfox Pro Windows 10) today and I had to open my old Lumia 535 to get a code for an app. The moment I turned it on the sensation of meeting a friend from old came back to me. I didn't realise I would be missing my old device.
It's kind of sad that Microsoft decided to pull the plug once again on their mobile platform. I liked the minimalism they brought to the interface and the integration they were trying to add between different devices.
All is gone now and I am left to wonder with the possibilities that would have brought.

Loop in python

A refactor a day keeps the doctor away!

I always get a kick out of it when I get to read a hilarious email that was sent in to customer service about our product where the customer is so pissed that they curse everyone out and then they call out the programmers too. "You should fire all your programmers too, they suuckk!!!"

Recently thanks to Whatsapp I've discovered a new pet peeve:
People pressing "send" after finishing a sentence (at best) instead of making new lines, resulting in around 5 new messages received at lightning speed.
Not to mention, they keep on going while I am trying to reply, losing my concentration in the process! 😡

I named an alias variable feedItem in my database query but I keep accidentally typing feetItem. I have no one to blame but myself.

When the fuck I am gonna get some time for me?.... where is my life?😖

Software developers like to solve problems. If there are no problems available, they will create their own problems. It’s an addiction.
😊😊😊

devRant is great. It's like Yik Yak but for things I can relate to!

Back at my masters degree there were 3 group projects and 2 of them were dev related. Being the last to enroll and classes had already started, I entered a team missing one person. 2 out the 3 team members were complaining how they couldn't keep up with the workload and kept doing nothing on the group assignments. The other person and me did all the work because we wanted to get good marks on the project. Sadly, the teams remained the same on the 2nd semester, mainly because all the star students were grouped together to our chagrin. This time though, neither the teammate nor me were lenient on our comments during group assessment which influenced heavily on the individual marking.

About a year ago, the organization I work for decided we don't really need team leads. We would be more self organizing if we didn't have technical leads. Now, one of those former leads who feels out of place can't get over it. She is constantly trying to add her two cents -- which is totally cool -- but in such a way as to make it sound/seem like we need to do what she says. Also, based on everything I've seen from her coding ability, I'm not sure how she ever became a tech lead. That's coming from me, and let me tell you, I feel SUPER junior sometimes. Like how the hell did they ever offer me a job junior. Well anyway, another dude was working with her the other day (we do pair programming) and snapped. He flipped out for like a solid 3 minutes on her. It was the most awkward thing I think I've ever experienced.

Habit I'm trying to fix?
Doing it all myself. I've been timeboxing my problems and forcing myself to ask instead of forcing myself to just figure it out myself. Communication isn't my strong point.

My setup while on vacations at parents' home:

Do you guys ever feel like you lose the ability to be objective about your own work. I've looked at my website for so long now, I don't know if I think it's good or not...

Stop being high, Monster! Why the heck should I apply to a SENIOR developer position when my skills/experience are of a graduate?!

Job seeking site being troll... 😒

I hate my tablet...
It is a giveaway from my sister and it is a bit damaged. It's unresponsive on a straight line from the one side on the middle of the screen to the other.
It's an old tablet, so it has not much memory and it lags a lot, especially during app updates.
To "work" with it, I have to switch from landscape to portrait mode and vice versa, because many apps put dialogs exactly in the middle of the screen, on the unresponsive part.
But what I hate most about this situation is that there are apps that are locked on portrait mode and I can't access them... It wouldn't hurt much if all apps could rotate from one mode to the other!!!
I'm on limited funds for quite a while, so I'm stuck with it for now. Meh... ☹

PM: OK team. There seems to have been some confusion over card AAA-111. So from now on we need to be specific in the cards and make sure we have AC and a description of the issue

Devs: Thanks, we appreciate that

PM: makes card
Card: Why is it slow (yes, that's the actual card title)
Card: ... nothing else, completely blank

Devs: Wtf?

PM: these are supposed to be conversation starters guys!

Devs: JUST TELL US THE PROBLEM! WE'LL ASK WHEN WE NEED TO

As the saying goes "beggars can't be choosers" and I need to get a job.
I got approached by a recruiter in LinkedIn who had attached a PDF brochure.
It seems OKish, but the only part that worries me is "step 3" of recruitment process:
"Invitation to France and have a face-to-face technical interview and meet the team."

Will I be out of bounds if I ask the technical interview (if I ever make it that far) take place into Skype?
There are some savings, but going to France (somewhere between Cannes and Nice in summer period!!!) just for an interview that I might fail is a big gambit for me.

Dear diary,

It's been the second day without Internet at home. I have self-exiled to my parents where the last vestiges of civilization remain. Now my laptop starts throwing tantrums and won't move beyond the loading screen. I wonder what's next to break down.

Handsome co-workers in my visual range distract me from my tasks...
I need to get back in shape and start the dating game again... :'(

Broken title for emoji and devRant logo :D

Writing one dev-rant a day keeps dev-frustrations away!

!dev (maybe slightly)

I went to a CV Workshop organized by my first school. The presenter was the slightly-arrogant/know-it-all/cool type of guy who's a recruiter and also has his own company he runs. The presentation was OK, even though it took longer than announced. However, there were some things that bugged me. He expects everyone somehow to be extraordinary. Granted he works as a recruiter and his clients would like only the cream of the top, but some of the examples he gave from his personal experience, he seemed to give more gravity on other traits of the candidates than their achievements and qualifications (e.g. rejecting a candidate because she had posted a photo of her clubbing on Facebook). Also, somehow he judges candidates based on their parents profession. Lucky me that I fall into the category he dislikes. Now the fun part (sorry for the long post):

Next week there's a career day. I sent my CV as soon as I got the mail and then I also phoned the person in charge (as per the instructions). Yesterday on the workshop it was said we should resend our CVs by tomorrow on another mail? No problem you may think, but that said recruiter will take a look on them and that means I will have to rework mine just to make sure it is to his liking. I'm no fan of writing mission statements, nor trying to guess what my qualities (aka soft skills) are because what I think I am doesn't mean I actually am.

So now, I'm in a dilemma. Just send the CV as is or get a mental breakdown just so to please that person?
Thanks everyone for your patience and time, I just wanted to pump some steam out me...

Plugging in my phone into my computer doesn't charge it but it definitely makes it die slower 😂😂

First rule of programming ......
. .
..
.
If
it
works
..
.
Don't touch it :D

Ok... Now the fun stuff can begin :)

Do you have any annoying you want to get rid off, but you can't because of reasons?
I do. They are 4, but for now I'll talk about the gold medal winner.

When we met about 8-9 ago, she had just come back to town due to some very bad personal experience (not her fault). Anyway, she is polite, but her major flaw is that she is pushy. REAL BAD! And she gets mad when other people (including me) try to do it on her. Another one is having calls during random inappropriate times, because she had fight #N with her boyfriend, and last but not least, she will call when needs something out of someone.

Lately, her project is finding us a job, since we're both unemployed. Any job. The sad part is when she sends me job ads for dev jobs I don't qualify, e.g. Company X is looking for a dev with Y year of experience, knowing A, B, C & D technologies. I've told her that I don't qualify for most of the dev jobs she sends me, but she insists I should send my CV anyway, cause of reasons. Also, for some reason, I should be accounted to her for all my current choices when what I would honestly say is "BUG OFF".

Her latest endeavour is getting me one of her friends (a psychologist) as a "client". Her friend wants to have a professional website with writing posts/articles as a side dish. I'm not registered as a freelancer, so everything will be done under the counter, and her friend is OK with that. I'm no web developer, but I didn't refuse because of her backlash and also that would be a positive experience for me. Now, the juicy part. She gave her my phone number without my permission and she told me straight away. Her plan was having the three of us meet, though I don't know why and I didn't want her being around. I asked her to call me immediately, which it didn't happen. After being pestered by my friend for a couple of weeks if her friend called me, she finally did it on Monday. She didn't say to me anything I didn't know, but at least I have her phone now.

What I can offer her is a website skeleton with the usabilities she's asking. What I can't offer her is graphics/banner and security. And now I have to come up with reasonable price. Teams here ask 400-600€ for a complete website the way she asks, including VAT. I'm thinking around 100€ and I don't know when I can deliver the project. I've had some experience with Ruby and Sinatra, so I'll go with that, and I'll learn CSS along the way.

Thanks for reading till the end! 😃

Finally I am in my new job!
Everyone is working in a project except me and I can only use IE11 and Chrome... :'(

Finding a dev job in a suburban area is near impossible I swear

A coder and a non-coder were travelling on a boat together. Due to some reason there was a hole in that boat and it started to drown. Non-coder survived but coder didn't. Why? Coder thought it was just another loop hole which he could fix using his laptop. So much for his confidence!

Your spaghetti code is so bad that even Gordon Ramsay still has nightmares from it.

Duno what some guys are struggling with....

Man collapses in the street, his wife "help, we need a doctor".

Dev speaks up "I did recently move to a standing desk"

I don't know my problem is. I lost my motivation to code, my enthusiasm and excitement to read a code and solve a problem. My love of my life for 6 years whom I thought she's the one, gave up on us. It was a long journey, lots of ups and downs, but really worth the time and sacrifice. Now, she's doing good, very happy on her life judging from her social media. Can't believe she just moved for 2 months. To be honest, i want her to be happy but quite bitter that she just moved on quite fast. And I don't if this is the reason why I lost my motivation and enthusiasm to code. Or maybe I just don't like the project we're working on. Well, I really don't like it since it's a mobile game, I really want to build webapp or mobile app but it's too late to change the project.

I'm not like this, I used to code until morning without noticing the time, excited to solve a problem that stuck on me for quite a while. I really became a lazy person right now. I feel the pressure to finish the project but I don't see myself working on it, I don't feel interested reading a code. I just play computer games instead of working on my project during my free time. I don't know if I'm depressed. I socialized with people, have fun, happy when I'm with them, but when I'm alone, sadness starts to creep in. I feel like there's an empty void in myself. I don't know, i just want the motivation and energy to work on my project. Im tired, lazy, and feeling burnt out. If you read until this very last sentence, thank you and I'm sorry for reading this nonsense.

If actions didn't have consequences then sprint planning would make for an excellent nap time. 💤

That feeling when you're finally done with a pretty big PR and ready to go live. You excitedly send it out to a few of your peers, and then... 20 comments! The real work has just begun 😭

body {
overflow-x: hidden;
}

is a bit like trying to fix a broken arm by wearing a long sleeve shirt 😅

Piddling, and trying to learn some game stuff. Very simple game stuff.
Example code:

if (level % 10 === 0...) {
speed += 0.3;
...
} else if (level % 5 === 0...) {
speed += 0.1;
...
}

But because Javascript, console log reads:
speed: 0.5 <-- this is the initial console log
speed: 0.6
speed: 0.8999999999999999
speed: 0.9999999999999999

Well done Javascript, well done.

Amen...

Such glorious Wednesday...

#1: Friend needs me to keep her cats, hasn't called yet to give me keys (and she's leaving tonight).

#2: Got an e-mail from a job I applied, rejected cause I flunked the impromptu technical interview (with the usual pretty wording).

#3: Helping a friend with his dissertation code in Java. Just a marvellous spaghetti code with minimal semblance of a structure and a hodgepodge of various solutions found on the Internet. 2H 40M and still nothing... At least I have my stress ball to save me from mental breakdown...

Starting to code again after a long hiatus.

Worst interview was when I attended interview for the position of PHP and the interviewer started grinding me with C++ questions starting with STLs. Could not answer most of them, interviewer said to get my act together and try again after 3 months. Nope not gonna happen!

My manager during my internship in 2007 was very prone to screaming.
She took the position, because more senior staff than her didn't want it and she wanted to be in charge of them.
When people didn't deliver the results she wanted she would call them in the office, start yelling them and saying they were incompetent and demean them. And even though we were a small open office, she would send us messages through MSN Messenger (it was the it thing back then), to check on our progress or ask us to go to her office which was the room next to us.
I met many wonderful people during my internship, but I was more than glad when it finished. A couple of years later I've learnt that the branch she was managing was terminated because everyone slowly started quitting. I can't imagine why...

After struggling all morning with my laptop, I finally accepted the fact that my 1TB hard drive died. Now I'm on a dilemma: Should I replace the drive and upgrade the RAM, or should I buy a new laptop altogether?

Current laptop is Lenovo G50-45, with AMD APU, 6GB (4+2 on graphics) and said 1TB drive.
Before this misfortune befell me, I was planning to upgrade the RAM to 8+2.
Now I'm at a loss, but my folks are willing to help.
Should I buy a new drive and RAM or should I start looking a new more dev oriented laptop? If the latter, any recommendations?

I'm so bored converting a table from HTML to some weird ReactJS framework...
I've been postponing it for so long!
Front-end stuff is not for me... 😕

I've finished the knowledge tests at the local DevJobCon and I got the following question on the easy part of the Java session:

Which of the following is NOT a Java IDE:
a) Eclipse
b) Netbeans
c) IntelliJ IDEA
d) Notepad++

😆

Finally, I got my laptop back after 4 gruelling days of separation with a new disc and more RAM!!!
I can't wait to finish up installing all the programmes I need to start writing code!!!

Inspired by a programming is a constant/continuous thing. Every small and big achievements, from squishing a bug, finding a workaround, pressing the "Build" button and the programme runs. Each time the brain feels expanded like when a baby discovers new things, a tiny creature in a gigantic Universe of endless possibilities.

Software engineering isn't a great side-career if your aspiration is to do other things.

It takes way too much of your time to let you do anything else.

I had a technical test on Tuesday on Linux and SQL. I thought I failed. I get a call that I did pretty well and now they want me for an interview. Naturally, I get very excited.
I get a date for the interview and get ready to shine... until I accept the video call and find out that it is a technical interview! But this time instead I have to express myself in a foreign language.
(And also not with the people I was supposed to have the interview with)
No worse way to stress someone XYZ company! Totally uncool!!!

I think now I can go in a shadowy corner and whimper.

Look what my gf got me a couple weeks ago.

I'm very sad. I had to do 5 challenges in Hackerrank for a job and I managed to complete only 1 in the allotted time.
What makes me sadder is that in one challenge, the testing the compiler did was different than the challenge description (getting me failed tests).
Damned job hunting, I'm losing hope with each passing day... 🙁

When an intern gives me suggestions on technology stack to use for the new application I'm building...

I used to code by myself... then came to know about stack overflow...
Game Over !!!

You know your day is gonna be bad when it's Monday and you are told to work on a badly written legacy flash application!

Since I can't make many posts, I'll try squeeze them all in one:

1. Phone recruitment interview went "well", I even spoke french at some point! 😃
I have to brush up my knowledge again for the technical test (I hate them). Somehow I got excited, which I shouldn't, but only time will tell...

2. My brain is stuck with opening a Twitter account, mainly for following people/companies news. I don't know if it's worth it, so I would your feedback on this.

3. I've finally come down to listening to synthwave while coding and I was wondering if there's any good free service (I'm still poor, so I don't want neither Deezer nor Spotify), preferably with a UWP app on Windows 10 (that is not Soundcloud).

Unpopular opinion: WFH is dull without cafeteria.

Everyone around me is running like crazy to deliver a project on time (the day after tomorrow) and I am sitting quietly trying to reply an e-mail of my project manager in french...

Getting ready to start working a little something something on the side. Client (read as uncle-in-law) wants it in Wordpress because he
1) has heard of it
2) can buy themes. I told him I can make it look any way he wants and use something else, something that I'm actually familiar with. He wants Wordpress. At least it looks like writing my own plugins to do stuff will be really easy.

A designer who doesn't have taste of it.

Got my stickers and did a ballsy move and stuck them on my work laptop !!

Best way to finish work for the weekend! 😁

So we have this team that deploys some code. We had a change in that code that "we" forgot about. Turns out, a dev on our team decided it would be cool to rename an endpoint. Why? Great question. Because. So this code gets deployed, but the call to that endpoint didn't get deployed. System 2 tries to call the endpoint, 404. We roll back, we're searching, after like an hour, we find it. We go to TFS to see who did it. The dev grabs my keyboard and starts checking diffs, somehow managing to skip their commit (from 5 months earlier). I take back my keyboard and *surprise* it was the commit that was skipped. WTF? Why did you rename that endpoint? What do you mean you didn't do it? It has your name right there!

TITANOSAURUS CRAP!!!
Whose idea was to send an e-mail at 11pm about a dev job convention for this weekend!!! And on top of that there will be testing to weed out the candidates!
SIMPLY GREAT! I have to be off town for unavoidable family matters for three days without Internet connection...
Thanks a lot automated mail system for letting me know 4 days in advance that I will fail!!!
It's not that things were awful enough, now I have one more reason to be stressed, get more rashes and weep internally!

I wasn't with this company pre-pandemic. The people that were with the company had no idea that they wouldn't be with the company when the pandemic hit, so everything was sort of in a half state when my team was formed and picked it up 2 years later. Not their fault, I get it.

Well...mostly not their fault. Never in the history of good ideas, did anyone ever say "Hey, we should have these 15 variables named Object{number}!" Yes, 15 of them. And they are set `Object3 = object3Variable`. I wish I could make this up, but I can't, and it makes me sad.

FucKing HeLL...!! Its 3:30 am IST and i am still working on a customer issue.

Sometimes I feel.... my compiler judges me.

My brain= processor
Your mouth= raw data
I only process the logic that comes out of your mouth and typecast it to my system's logic and try to fit you in one of my objects using a visitor pattern.if I need to create a new dynamic object , my system throws a "you are special" message.

So made my PI a little torrent machine. So that my parents can watch the movies they want when they want.

I know I'm pretty late to the party, but I've been playing with Redis a lot lately and it's pretty awesome. Sorted sets and the various Z functions seem very powerful. I'm hoping to get to use it in a prod environment soon.

Desk fans whirling. Sweating co-workers. An extra short stand-up.

That's right, the English summer has arrived.

Work is slow these days.
I am done with the projects.
Everyone's away for summer.
I cannot do/install stuff because I don't have admin rights in my machine.
I cannot view all the webpages due to netwrok policies/certificates.
I am waiting for time to pass and go home.
😕😕😕

I don't know why... But I cringe when somebody says "coding", "coder". Maybe it's because it's an Americanism...

Good old dear me sitting comfortably and writing some code...
Suddenly, the doorbell rings!!!
"One moment! Coming!", I shout...
I proceed going to the hall, take the keys from the table right next to me and I unlock the door...
I open it and there's only thin air in front me. Downstairs I hear the building door closing and the elevator working its way up, higher than my floor...
I close the door and I go back to my desk, resuming my work and thinking:
"I don't know who are, I don't care who you are, but I will find you and I will make you pay..."

Now my coding train of thought has stopped! Thanks, unknown doorbell ringer!!!

Scanner scanner = new Scanner(...);

Which is fine until you're in a corporation where the (many) classes are so detailed that each one is 30 chars long...

This is how non devs imagine our devs. They tend to think a huge change is this quick. Meanwhile back at the ranch it will take a while and a lot more concentration.

"Whenever there is a decline in quality of code and rise of bugs and errors oh dear coder, I manifest to show the path of bug and error free coding" said code-god
- Chapter 1 Verse 1, Code Gita

Service status pages that poorly reflect actual service status are so annoying. Ex. GitHub is having a lot of latency issues with processing updates and like 5 people in my office noticed it while their status page still says everything is fine.

This isn't to explicitly call out GitHub since many service status pages behave like this, but it definitely shows a general weakness in these health checks. I've seen similar issues with tons of services, web hosts, etc. Monitoring is definitely hard but will hopefully keep getting better.

I love how our industry has invented such important sounding yet meaningless job titles...

Developer, software engineer, software architect, developer evangelist, dev ops engineer, systems analyst, quality assurance engineer, code monkey...

The first 30 minutes of a working day often consist of me saying, "who broke this then?" Then a liberal use of git blame.

Ok so I studied Computer Science in college, even got my pretty little associate's degree saying I didn't eat shit.

Decided to work in ops and not as a dev because life finds a way

End up being asked to write code at work anyway because I know enough to not break everything

Service's like freelance and people per hour are a farce. It's just a constant race to the bottom price-wise.

'Yeah sure I can make you a blog website in 24 hours for £5'

Am I the only one who feels that devRant should have a chatting feature ???

When you need to do something in Wordpress:
1. check the codex
2. check the developer handbook
3. check google, stackoverflow, etc
4. give up
5. do it yourself
6. find it on either of the aforementioned websites

When a university student approaches you, to do their coursework for them! 😡😓

I'm getting tired of coding. Not really the coding part, the dealing with people who tell me what to code and why part. Sort of considering making a move into a scrum master or PM role just so I can get fired when I say "No, we're not changing everything they've been working on in the middle of the sprint" or maybe "Yeah, no we're not going to put in a bunch of tickets to change the UI/UX without first talking to the designers, because that's what they do. Yes, I realize we aren't Facebook, but do you realize we "compete" with them because a huge number of people will compare our usability to theirs? (even if just subconsciously)"

I went to the movies yesterday and I watched "My Lady".
The only screen of a mobile phone was that of a W10 mobile.
That really surprised me and filled me with joy... 😁

Recruiter hit me up with a great Java position in Oregon. I'm a web developer based in NYC...

Given that Microsoft will be dumping Edge down the toilet flush (and creating an Edge skin for Chrome), I will have to switch browsers (if I want to surf the Internet).
I don't want to switch to Firefox, because I find Mozilla having double standards.
It's been ages since Chrome isn't my favourite, I am forced using it at work, so I'd rather avoid it using it at home.
That bring us to the Chromium-based browsers. Of the myriad out there, the two that piqued my interest are Opera and Vivaldi.
Both have their merits and flaws, but I am equally drawn to them.
My question is which one would you pick between these two?

Programming vs other subjects.

When you read an article that WhatsApp's end of support is the last nail in the coffin of Windows Phone and you are like: "But I don't care about WhatsApp at all..." 😅

P.S. W10M user here.