Sales employee Bob wants a clickable blue button.

Bob tells product owner Karen about his unstoppable desire for clickable blue buttons.

Karen assigns points for potential and impact (how much does a blue button improve Bob's life, how many people like Bob desire blue buttons)

Karen asks the button team how hard it is to build a button. The button team compares the request to a reference button they've built before, and gives an ease score, with higher score being easier (inverse of scrum points).

These three scores are combined to give a priority score. The global buttonbacklog is sorted by priority.

Once every two weeks (a "sprint") the button team convenes, uses the ease scores to assign scrum points. Difficult tasks are broken up into smaller tasks, because there is a scrum point upper limit. They use the average of the last 5 sprints to calculate each developer's "velocity".

The sprint is filled with tasks, from the top of the global button backlog, up to the team's capacity as determined by velocity. Approximate due dates are assigned, Bob is a happy Bob.

What if boss Peter runs into the office screaming "OUR IMPORTANT CLIENT WANTS A FUCKING PINK BUTTON WHICH MAKES HEARTS APPEAR"?

Devs tell boss to shut the fuck up and talk to Karen. Karen has a carefully curated list of button building tasks sorted by priority, can sedate boss with valium so he calms the fuck down until he can make a case for the impact and potential of his pink button.

Karen might agree that Peter's pink button gets a higher priority than Bob's blue button.

But devs are nocturnal creatures, easily disturbed when approached by humans, their natural rhythms thrown out of balance.

So the sprint is "locked", and Peter's pink button appears at the top of the global backlog, from where it flows into the next sprint.

On rare occasions a sprint is broken open, for example when Karen realizes that all of the end users will commit suicide if they don't have a pink heart-spawning button.

In such an event, Peter must make Bob happy (because Bob is crying that his blue button is delayed). And Peter must make the button team of devs happy.

This usually leads to a ritual involving chocolate or even hardware gift certificates to restore balance to the dev ecosystem.

I changed my Wi-Fi name to Syntax Error and made some changes to the configuration. I wanted to disable the admin page at the 2.4Ghz connection, but I got kicked out at 5Ghz as well. So I couldn't log in anymore and resetting the router didn't helped.

So I called the ISP if they can restore it to factory settings, but the guy on the phone didn't understand a thing I said. He said to me: "Sir I don't exactly understand what u say, but I can see an Syntax Error. Do you want me to fix it." And I laughed and I laughed.. I told him that's the Wi-Fi name but ofcourse he didn't got the joke. I called again and got someone else on the phone. He's resetting the router in a one minute call.

Had some fun this morning.

Rant
Why do shithead clients think they can walk away without paying us once we deliver the project !!!

So, here goes nothing..
Got an online gig to create a dashboard.
Since i had to deal with a lot of shitheads in the past, I told them my rules were simple, 20% advance, 40% on 50% completion and 40% after i complete and send them proof of completion. Once i receive the payment in full, only then i will hand over the code.
They said it was fine and paid 20%.
I got the next 40% also without any effort but they said they also needed me to deploy the code on their AWS account, and they were ready to pay extra for it, so i agreed.
I complete the whole project and sent them the screenshots, asking for the remaining 40% payment. They rejected the request saying my work was not complete as i had not deployed on AWS yet. After a couple of more such exchanges, i agreed to setup their account before the payment. But i could sense something fishy, so i did everything on their AWS account, except registered the domain from my account and set up everything. Once i inform them that its done and ask for the remaining payment.
The reply i got was LOL.
I tried to login to the AWS account, only to find password had been changed.
Database access revoked.
Even my admin account on the app had been removed. Thinking that they have been successful, they even published ads about thier NEW dashboard to their customers.
I sent them a final mail with warning ending with a middle finger emoji. 24 hours later,
I created a github page with the text " This website has been siezed by the government as the owner is found accused in fraud" and redirected the domain to it. Got an apology mail from them 2 hours later begging me to restore the website. i asked for an extra 10% penalty apart from the remaining payment. After i got paid, set an auto-reply of LOL to thier emails and chilled for a week before restoring the domain back to normal.
Dev : 1
Shithead Client: 0

🤔🤔🤔

So my Girlfriend bought a new iPhone at Verizon today. Cool story, I know, but here's where it's gone from there.

Firstly her debit wouldn't run as credit, so we used mine but that's the least of it (but began it).

So she has 16,000 photos... Alot, sure, but not the issue. Obviously with that amount of data she wasn't about to reasonably use iCloud to back it up (understandable only by me) so she was confronted both by me and the Verizon employee about this issue to where we both (the Verizon employee and I) agreed that an iTunes backup/restore was the only way to preserve her data. She was confused. No worry, told her I had it handled and the Verizon employee agreed. Great. Yet we get home and begin the process. My girlfriend was not on the latest iOS (understandable given the battery scenario and she was on an iPhone 6) and this was ridiculous to her because she had to update in order to do the iTunes back up. Whatever, I brushed it off. Her phone was updated, and backed up... Which took a while but we are talking 30gb (of which she had no understanding of how much that was). After the back up we discovered her new phone wasn't working due to a bad sim, great, no problem we have the old one... But oh no. "I don't want that shitty old sim" she said. Uhmm what... I say, and say let me get an earring (to switch the Sims) and she gave one to me and as soon as I went to pop the tray, she had a fucking heart attack as if I was demolishing her phone. I talk her down, get it switched, get the phone to restore (slow process as she's complaining... 30gb mind you) and it works. She goes to bed. Comes back, texts aren't working. I say imessages or texts (now she has no idea) I troubleshoot, seems nothing's working, and that's okay Verizon must of reinstated the new sim and deactivated the old (fine). I switch them and it works. She proceeds to berate me about the SIM cards because she didn't want the 'old shitty one' (the one that got us to the place of a functioning phone).

Now everything works and she claims a Genius bar employee would of done this in minutes.

I (obviously) lose my shit, now I'm sleeping on the couch.

Im an IT professional / programmer..... this shit really ticked me off.

And here comes the last part of my story so far.
After deploying the domain, configuring PCs, configuring the server, configuring the switch, installing software, checking that the correct settings have been applied, configuring MS Outlook (don't ask) and giving each and every user a d e t a i l e d tutorial on using the PC like a modern human and not as a Homo Erectus, I had to lock my door, put down my phone and disconnect the ship's announcement system's speaker in my room. The reasons?
- No one could use USB storage media, or any storage media. As per security policy I emailed and told them about.
- No one could use the ship's computers to connect to the internet. Again, as per policy.
- No one had any games on their Windows 10 Pro machines. As per policy.
- Everyone had to use a 10-character password, valid for 3 months, with certain restrictions. As per policy.
For reasons mentioned above, I had to (almost) blackmail the CO to draft an order enforcing those policies in writing (I know it's standard procedure for you, but for the military where I am it was a truly alien experience). Also, because I never trusted the users to actually backup their data locally, I had UrBackup clone their entire home folder, and a scheduled task execute a script storing them to the old online drive. Soon it became apparent why: (for every sysadmin this is routine, but this was my first experience)
- People kept deleting their files, whining to me to restore them
- People kept getting locked out because they kept entering their password WRONG for FIVE times IN a ROW because THEY had FORGOTTEN the CAPS lock KEY on. Had to enter three or four times during weekend for that.
- People kept whining about the no-USB policy, despite offering e-mail and shared folders.
The final straw was the updates. The CO insisted that I set the updates to manual because some PCs must not restart on their own. The problem is, some users barely ever checked. One particular user, when I asked him to check and do the updates, claimed he did that yesterday. Meanwhile, on the WSUS console: PC inactive for over 90 days.
I blocked the ship's phone when I got reassigned.
Phiew, finally I got all those off my chest! Thanks, guys. All of the rants so far remind me of one quote from Dave Barry:

Sometime it feels like I'm surrounded with idiots.

Got a Ticket:

Support: Please delete installation ABC from Server D.

Me: Checks everything. Installation is on Server E. Asks if this is correct?

Support: Just follow the instructions!

Me: Okey dokey. If you want me to be a hammer the installation is a nail... Drop database, Remove all files. nuke K8s resources

Support: Why did you delete the installation ABC? You should delete XYZ!

Me: Cause the ticket told to delete ABC on Server D and YOU told me to follow your instructions!

Support: Yeah but we just reused an old ticket. We wanted XYZ deleted!

It's not a big deal I can restore the shit but I hate it if a day starts with this kind of shit!

Today I realized that I hit a total burnout. Last 3 years were extremely stressful for me (4 jobs in 3 different countries, exhausting and toxic relationship, bad habits). Last 7 months are the worst. I became lonely isolated and miserable. I learned to rely purely on stress, determination and validation to get through my days. Was supressing my emotions for a long time just to focus on making the money. Its time to break the cycle.

Im done with this. Next week Im quitting my fulltime job. Saved enough money for starting capital of my own dev services company. Built three projects that generate stable income to cover my living costs. Now finally I can take a long break to recover from this burnout and to heal myself. That poor persons mentality that I had from my poor family has been shattered. I achieved what I wanted in terms of having the money and gathered enough experience necessary to survive anywhere.

I managed to get through all this shit on my own with barely any support. People around me were draining me more than actually helping me. But I managed to do it and now its time to focus on myself, to heal and restore love for living. Im safe now.

Client: Hi. my SEO guy messed up the website. Its kind of .... you know .... gone. You must have the backup. Please restore

Me (after 10 mins): Done

.............

Client: Hi again. I don't see my changes from yesterday. Why?

Me: Because I had 2 months old backup.

Client: Why?

Me: Because that's the last time I worked on your website. And you changed the credentials later on.

Client: But you're a programmer. You must have had a back door to take back ups.

........

Client: Hello?

Me: It's time to leave earth.

We build a backup infrastructure at work to make sure that clients can restore their files and databases themselves when something gets fucked up.

We also have step by step tutorial on how to do this.

Every fucking day we get requests to restore backups.

Mostly used reason is "I'm a technical so I won't understand it".
With all due respect, if you don't understand this and keep asking without even trying, please don't host with us.
Because, if you did as I asked and actually read through the entire article, you would.
In case you're wondering, anytime one of us asks what part they don't understand, that question is simply ignored and they pushing for us restoring it anyways continues.

Sometimes they get angry and want to talk to someone higher up or start complaining that they're paying loads of money already and that it would just take us a second anyways.

If you would read the fucking tutorial/manual instead of trying to eat out your mother's badly shaved pussy and hopefully choke on it while you're at it, you wouldn't come asking us for it.
If you genuinely don't understand this article, feel free to ask but also provide us with cocksucking feedback.

Why do you think you have the right anyways to ask us to do it for free? We maintain the backup infrastructure which definitely isn't cheap but we do it so that you, pubic sniffing weazel, can do this shit on your fucking own.

You're entitled to ask us for help but not for asking us to restore your bullshit for free every freaking time.

Tip: give your parents some condoms. Because that way they hopefully won't reproduce again, we don't need more of you in this universe.

What seems to be the problem? Oh, is your wordpress site hacked/infected with malware?

So I guess you decided to disable updates because it might break your shitty little site? And I guess you thought those warnings you got from me and multiple colleagues about what could happen when you didn't update your wordpress bullshit weren't that serious?

Hold on, you want *US* to restore *YOUR* hosting backups?

Hahahahahaha-no.

Go clean up your own fucking bullshit. But, before you click that restore button, please take a cactus, carve 'I am a stupid wordpress cunt' into it, dip it in a bathtub of with blood mixed-infected cum and shove it up your ass.

Oh yeah I'm aware that that won't help your situation but it might keep you from reproducing and at least it'll give me some satisfaction.

I let my wife use my laptop for a minute. She closed all my tabs and I can't restore them. Our love died inside a little today.

Your app works.
You do some changes.
It doesn't work anymore...
You restore the old code.
It still doesn't work... WHY?

There's one kind of ticket I fucking love. Wait, YOU LOVE TICKETS?! No, except for one.

Tickets where people ask us to restore backups.

Why do I love them?

Because the only fucking thing I need to do is reply with a link to a helpdesk item on our website because backups aren't something within our support range because it's easy for customers to do.

So whenever a ticket about restoring a backup comes in, it's as easy as opening the ticket, pasting the link with "I'd like to refer you to the following resource: " and pressing fucking "reply"

😄

For our 4 programming tasks we had to use Git. Which i fully support, except whenever one of my group members made a change she would commit min 8 times and the message would be "change". Even after mentioning to her that she should write What she changd she just changed it to: "change filename". I mean yeah, i can clearly see which file you changed but come on, WHAT in the file did you change. While doing this she also managed to overwrite my changes or completly delete my files forcing me to constantly restore shit 😐

What an awful day :(

The server where I host my 4 clients websites crashed.

Unable to reboot from the console.

I contact the support. 15 minutes later: "we'll look at this"

No news for 1 week despite my messages.

Then... 1st ticket escalation... 2nd ticket escalation... 3rd ticket escalation...

Answer: "Sorry, your server is down and cannot be repaired."

Fuck.

I ask "is there any way to get my data back?". Answer: "No, because we would shutdown the whole bay and all our clients would be impacted".

Fuck.

I subscribe to another server, at another provider.

I look at my backups... shit, the last one is 4 month ago!!

I restore the first website: OK

I restore the second website: OK

I restore the third website: My new server is "too recent" and not compatible. with this old Wordpress. Fuck! I'll look at this later...

I restore the fourth website: database is empty!! What??? I look at the SQL backup for this site... it failed...

I lost ALL my 4th client data!!!

I'm sooooo piece of crap!

I'll get to my four words in a sec, but let me set the background first.

This morning, at breakfast, I fired up my trusty laptop only to get a fan failure warning.

Finally, after the three year old is asleep tonight, I'm able to start dismantling the case to get to the fan. I'm hoping it just needs cleaned out.

Hard drive, memory, and keyboard spread out over the kitchen table. I'm not even halfway done.

Guess what? Now I'm one of the lucky 3500 people to have a power outage at 9 pm. Estimated restore time: 2 am.

Sigh.

"All those tiny screws"

And a three year old in the house...

Although this is gonna sound like bullshit, this happened to me for real. Since that moment I use even more backup services AND I regularly check EVERYTHING.

Had a backup of my important data (still used mainstream services back then) on:

- Hotmail email attachments
- Google Drive
(Both link to another email account).
- A few data backup services
- DVD
- USB
- External HDD.

I wanted to copy some backup data over again:

1. Walk to my staple of HDD's, tried to grab it, somehow missed and knocked the whole fucking pile over. HDD broken.

2. Well fuck, let's go put some of my clothes in the washing machine for clean clothes at study/monday. After this shit being in the washing machine for just a few minutes, I realized my backup USB stick was in one of my pockets, in the washing machine. FUCK. Couldn't stop it so I waited till the end, tried it and well, it wasn't working at all anymore.
Fuck my fucking life slightly right now.

3. *remembers about the backup disc*. I forgot to keep it in its case, very deep scratches and so on, unreadable. FUCKING FUCK.

4. Right, I still have those online services! *tries to login to all of them (including hotmail/gdrive) but forgot the password. Well, let's login to my backup account then (hadn't used that one in years). Account was suspended for some reason.
Started to get really anxious because every online backup service was linked to that email address.
Contacted customer support. They really couldn't restore it because of some issues they weren't allow to tell me. Sorry but I couldn't retain access.

5. Well this is fucked up. Couldn't get into any of the backup/hotmail/gdrive accounts anymore.
I tried contacting their support but never got any replies.

This was the moment I realized I fucked up big fucking time because damn, this stuff at this level hardly happens to anyone.

FUCK.

Seriously, god bless Laravel and Taylor Otwell.

I've just had a customer foolishly delete all their user accounts. The customer was seriously stressed about this and as it usually goes, this stress was echoed in the call.

I explained how they can easily restore the deleted records in a single click as I have configured Laravel's "soft delete" functionality site wide. i.e. when they delete a record it isn't really deleted. Functionality to physically delete the record is hidden away outside the client's user level.

Customer was seriously grateful and paid for 2 hours of my time (even though the call took 15 mins) and generally gave me lots of kudos.

Laravel, awesome.

Site (I didn't build) got hacked, lots of data deleted, trying to find out what happened before we restore backup.

Check admin access, lots of blank login submissions from a few similar IPs. Looks like they didn't brute force it.

Check request logs, tons of requests at different admin pages. Still doesn't look like they were targeting the login page.

We're looking around asking ourselves "how did they get in?"

I notice the page with the delete commands has an include file called "adminCheck".

Inside, I find code that basically says "if you're not an admin, now you are!" Full access to everything.

I wonder if the attack was even malicious.

Looking at the amount of Samsung Note 7 rants, I have to restore the balance with some classic Iphone bashing ;)

The importance of version control. Had a school project at a real company and i didn't understand it so i said fuck it. Then someone asked me to alter the js library a little and push/pull that to the server. I thought fuck it, altered it and accidentally pressed save (automatic ftp upload). Suddenly the file was overwritten (that guy worked on it for 6 fucking hours) and it went from like a thousand lines to just a few. We did restore it from the browser. He said: either you're going to use git or you're out.

Then i started using git.

I'm starting to think customers know when I'm busy and take that moment to break their products.

I JUST WANT TO LET MY LEG SOAK IN EPSOM WATER... your users are going to bed soon, it's a freaking Saturday, and you need to go get laid because you have too much time on your hands. I'm in pain and cannot help you restore service if you don't stay on the line. So please... don't. Fucking. Call me. Unless you're going to stay on the line to test. You're pushing my limits, and if my voice gets any quieter, it means I'm about to find your porn accounts and register you as an amateur, uploading cows fucking to get you banned from all the services. Congratulations sir, you've pissed me off so bad, I'm using my "I'm not mad, I'm just disappointed" voice I learned from my mother. I hope you're happy. I'm so mad I'm not even swearing anymore. I always swear.

Edit: if my voice ever sounds sweet and demure over the phone, someone is about to get fucked with a red hot fireplace poker. This fucker getting close.

One:

Had a stack of harddrives with my important data, two USB drives and a 4.7gb disc, two or three cloud storage accounts.

Needed a restore:
Knocked the stack of hard drives onto the floor (all broken), stood on one of the flash drives, found the other one in a pocket of a pair of trousers which just came out of the washing machine, dvd too scratched to read and couldn't verify my cloud storage account because I lost the password to the connected email account and the backup email account to verify that one didn't exist anymore. Fucking hell.

Two:

Production database with not that much yet but at least some production data which wasn't backupped.
Friend: can I reboot the db machine?
Me: yup!
Friend: what's the luks crypt password?
Me: 😯😐😓😫😲😧😭

End of story 😅

For the record, the first one actually happened (I literally cried afterwards) and that taught me to update my recovery email addresses more often!

My first internship was unpaid. "For the experience" and shit. My first task was to clear out an entire office full to the literal ceiling with the phones of people who had been laid off or quit. There were now just three old guys in the entire office. And me. Go figure. I need to find that picture, it's truly unbelievable.
My next task was to sort cables in the store room. Mind you, this was supposed to be a software dev internship.

I consistently had to ASK for work to do. If I didn't, I would just sit in my new office all day doing homework and playing with linux liveCDs and nobody cared.

So the third task they gave me was to try to restore a very old (like XP old) computer that had a broken hard drive, literally broken. Said they wanted to "repurpose it." As busy work I guess.

So I scrounged around the cleptomaniacal cesspool of dated and neglected tech and found a hard drive. Pop it in, chkdsk, fdisk, good to go. Spend hours installing XP while sorting more random cables and doing my homework because honestly writing a history paper is more valuable to my dev career than this complete bullshit. Finally get the thing working and go to report the miracle of rebirth to my higher-up. He says "oh cool," doesn't smile, and hands me a list of software to install.

I come back 20 minutes later - "Hey, most of these require corporate licenses."

Guy says "yup" and goes back to ignoring me. Never gives me a company card to buy licenses, or a list of ones already bought. I've revived the computer equivalent of Moses from the computer equivalent of permadeath just for this asshole to completely disregard that and give me an(other) impossible task, just to get me off his back. Excuse me for imposing with free (then-child) labor, you ass.
I spend maybe another week there doing homework in the office I cleaned and contemplating stealing everything of value. I guarantee they wouldn't have noticed though, which somehow made the idea less appealing.

I quit by texting my boss.

He never replied.

I wish I had stolen their laptop RAM.
It's probably still sitting on boss's shelf collecting dust and being a miserable, outdated fucking waste of space, just like him and his two remaining coworkers.

somebody should have made a system restore point on the universe before Trump was nominated so we can go back once people realize what a bad idea this was

Friend :- Dude i made some changes and the code is not working now.
Me:- Bro, Do you even GIT it?
Friend :- No i don't GET it how it happened and how to restore it.
Me :- You destroyed my pun and my faith in your development skills -_-.

"My wifi is low, can you speed it up?"
"Can you restore a document I deleted?"
"What? You're a programmer and can't even fix my washing machine?"

Brazil, but I think it's universal :/

SSD size 128GB
Windows 10: let's go and use 40 fucking GB for windows.old.

Like WTF, use 1/3 of my ducking storage for "I don't trust updating myself so here's a massive restore point"

Fuck you windows.

tl;dr: Bossmang blaming my code for a database connection issue thrown from outside of my code. Bossmang doesn’t listen. Bossmang doesn’t want to believe it’s a connection issue.

———

Bossmang: The code you wrote is causing insane spec failures in the release branch! It’s hard to follow because it’s so insane, but the cause is your code not properly handling undefined settings! Look at this! <spec>

Me: Specs pass on my machine. I ran it with both a set and nil value. <screenshots>

Bossmang: It works when you set it to nil.

Me: But a setting that doesn’t exist returns nil? <screenshot>

Bossmang: Not seeming to.... So this is the spec failure from the release: “No connection pool with id primary found. <stacktrace that starts outside of my code>”

Me: ... That’s a DB connection error. It’s also being thrown outside of my code, and from a `super` call to Rails.

Bossmang: But <unrelated> and <unrelated> and <other spec> is failing, and if I set the version, it has <other failure> instead! That calls your code first.

Me: It’s a database error. Also: <explains probable, unrelated cause of other failures, like someone didn’t mock a fucking external api call>

Bossmang: But if I restore a DB backup, it fails again.

Me: Restoring uses a dB connection, which could be exhausting the pool depending on the daemons you have running.

Bossmang: perhaps.

...

Bossmang: I still think it’s related to spec ordering.

🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️
This is tiring.

Client initially requested the Wordpress server to have an easy one click way to restore from previous backups.

After setting up the auto weekly backup feature in Digital Ocean, the client wants to disable it because of the extra $1 cost it added to their $5/month hosting plan... 😒

One Thursday noon,
operation manager: (looking at mobile)what the.....something is wrong i am getting bunch of emails about orders getting confirmed.
Colleague dev: (checks the main email where it gets all email sent/received) holy shit all of our clients getting confirmation email for orders which were already cancelled/incomplete.
Me: imediately contacting bluehost support, asking them to down the server so just that we can stopp it, 600+ emails were already sent and people keep getting it.
*calls head of IT* telling the situation because he's not in the office atm.

CEO: wtf is happening with my business, is it a hacker?

*so we have a intrusion somebody messed the site with a script or something*

All of us(dev) sits on the code finding the vulnerabilities , trying to track the issue that how somebody was able to do that.

*After an hour*

So we have gone through almost easch function written in the code which could possibly cause that but unable to find anything which could break it.

Head asking op when did you started getting it actually?
Op: right after 12 pm.

*an other hour passes*

Head: (checking the logs) so right after the last commit, site got updated too?. And....and.....wtf what da hell who wrote this shit in last commit?
* this fuckin query is missing damn where clause* 🤬

Me: me 😰

*long pause, everyone looking at me and i couldn't look at anyone*
The shame and me that how can i do that.

Head: so its you not any intrudor 😡
Further investigating, what the holy mother of #_/&;=568 why cronjob doesn't check how old the order is. Why why why.

(So basically this happened, because of that query all cancelled/incomplete orders got updated damage done already, helping it the cronjob running on all of them sending clients email and with that function some other values got updated too, inshort the whole db is fucked up.)
and now they know who did it as well.

*Head after some time cooling down, asked me the solution for the mess i create*

Me: i took backup just couple of days before i can restore that with a script and can do manual stuff for the recent 2 days. ( operation manager was already calling people and apologising from our side )

Head: okay do it now.

Me: *in panic* wrote a script to restore the records ( checking what i wrote 100000000 times now ), ran...tested...all working...restored the data.
after that wrote an apology email, because of me staff had to work alot and it becomes so hectic just because of me.

* at the end of the day CEO, head, staff accepted apology and asked me to be careful next time, so it actually teached me a lesson and i always always try to be more careful now especially with quries. People are really good here so that's how it goes* 🙂

I cleared data from app to restore notifications on my phone... forgot how much the white background hurts.

Was not expecting that

14 hours in. With no end in sight. Who the fuck does circuit upgrades in a damn data center without ensuring there was a functional redundant powder supply?! I want to slap all these fuckers.

I just ran a batch rename script in the console. What's so bad about this? I forgot that I had closed the previous console, which caused Win+4 to open a new one at the default location. Which is my home folder.
"Desktop"? Nah, you mean "file4.png". "Downloads"? No, that's "file6.png". "rclonesync-V2-master"? That's "file19.png" now.
Luckily I was able to restore it all, except for one folder, containing unreadable files with names like "data_0". I hope I didn't need that. And luckily it skipped all hidden files and folders.

IPod didn't sync well on my Linux machines so decided to give windows - in a highly isolated environment disconnected from the Internet behind a firewall and sandbox - a shot with itunes.

- during the installation it wouldn't detect the fucking harddrive multiple times (genuine unlicensed copy) and after the 4-5th time it's random-fuckingly recognized out of fucking nowhere; I didn't change shit.
- crashes (blue screen and freezes) multiple times during the installation, multiple retries and suddenly it works(?!)
- it took about 10 minutes (!!!!!!!) to install 10+ drivers for an iPod and an external hdd:
Installing Apple iPod drivers... Done
Installing seagate drivers... Done
Installing apple iPod drivers... Done
Installing seagate drivers... Done
Installing Apple iPod drivers... Done
Installing seagate drivers... Done
Installing Apple iPod drivers... Done
Installing seagate drivers... Done
Installing Apple iPod drivers... Done

WHY INSTALL THOSE FUCKERS 5 FUCKING TIMES?!

- iTunes installation fails multiple times without error code (unknown error occured, restoring to original state...),just said fuck it and clicked the shortcut after the ***th fail and it works just like this, THANKS FOR NOTIFYING ME (NOT)!
- iTunes has to restore the entire ipod, this was done with iTunes in the store I bought it already, thanks for nothing.
-restore takes 30+ minutes?!
-syncs the iPod 3 times afterwards.

*clicks close button*
*are you sure you want to quit? Sync in progress*
*oh shit, cancels*
*itunes quits*
*?!?!?*

*tries to import media library*
*seagate hdd suddenly not detected*

I'm fucking tired of this bullshit, windows and iTunes can go die in a fucking corner after getting ass raped while their genitals are being scraped off layer by fucking layer and dipped into fucking acid.

Windows 10, updating to version 1809.
That was only 3 months ago 🤷‍♂️

Preparing to install: 0%, 8%, 0%, 24%, 3%, 0%, 19%

I think I’m setting a restore point for this one 😣

# 3 weeks ago
customer informed us that the app will get quite some load since the beginning of July

# this monday
last spare hdd on database's SAN died.
I told everyone another hdd is to follow it very soon eithet whether nothing is done at all or if anyone attempts to touch the san array [cuz that's what redundant raids do...]. No fucks given by anyone, no attempts to have maintenance and planned outage within 24 hrs....

# this morning
another hdd has failed and now 1tb of data is lost. No way to restore backups cuz there is no database to restore them to....

# 20 minutes later I head out to get some popcorn. It's gonna be a fun week!

So... The planned heavy load [and revenue along with it] is not gonna happen... I guess they are gonna ha a week long outage.

That's what happens when you ignore warning shots fired at your face.

MySQL should have a recycle bin. I just deleted whole "user" table by mistake... Forgot to add where clause properly... Had to restore 2 days old backup copy. I just hope no accounts were created or someone changed their password in last 2 days....

Came back from vacation today to find out that some FUCKTURD PIECE OF SHIT deleted my virtual server!! Tried to find any traces on who that SHITFACED NUTSACK was without luck. This server is hosting several websites, some having files and data stretching over more than 10 years! Spent the day praying to GOD that my equally old backup scripts had run and where the FLYING FUCK those files were saved. Luckily the script had worked and I found a recent backup so now I can start the restore process on another machine. But still. WTF!!??

'hey honey look what i made! It works!'
- fiance looks, error messages over error messages, program crashes, files disappear, data loss, pure horror

To this day I don't know what happened. I had to restore my project and re-write the last half hour.

So… I released v2.0.0 of devRant UWP a few weeks ago.
Then I got a lot of reports of problems on Windows 10 Mobile and older (than 1809) versions of Windows 10 on Desktop.
I decided to resubmit v2.0.0-beta16 to the store, and try to find the issue in the update… I didn't find it.
The code seems the same as the working version (at least the part I try to test is 100% equal).

So it seems I fucked up the vs project.

This means that to find the issue I can spend weeks to search it over and over inside the latest project (using shitty emulators of older Windows 10 builds to debug it), or I could just restore it to the old v2.0.0-beta16 (released in august) and implement again every single new feature and fix (something like 5 new features, dozens of improvements, changes and bug fixes).

In any case, this will require a lot of time (which I don't have at this moment).
I'm really sorry for this inconvenience, I know some of you use my client daily (~3.000 users I guess), I'm really glad someone likes it, and thanks a lot for the awesome reviews and feedback, but stable v2 (v2.1.0 at this point) will be available not earlier than in February.

Probably some of you have already download v2.0.0 while it was available in the store, and maybe it works on your device (please let me know in the comments below if you did, how is it going, and also if you like the new features and improvements).

After this epic fail, and more than 1 year (way too much) of v2 public beta, I want to throw the current project in the trash, and start it from scratch.
Which means I will start to work on v3 as soon as you will see v2.1.0 in the store, making it faster, lighter and with better support for the latest Windows 10 (Fluent Design and not) features, dropping the support for the very old UWP API.

Thanks for your attention.

Have a good day (or night)!

The day I discovered Schrödinger's lesser known paradox of simultaneously being fired and not fired.

This isn't really much of a dev story, but I figured I'd share it anyway.

About two minutes into signing into all my stuff, I suddenly was kicked out of everything. I tried logging in a few more times, and then suddenly started getting the error, "Your account has been disabled for security reasons." I couldn't sign into chat, and co-workers confirmed that I was missing from the company directory. My manager didn't come in for another two hours, and we couldn't get anyone else to answer what the hell was going on. So I was kinda panicking.

Eventually, we found out from one of our coordinators that someone else with the same name as me was leaving the company, and they had deactivated the wrong person.

It ended up getting a lot better. They told me that it could take up to 48 hours to restore my access (it took longer), so I found stuff to do so I could maintain my paycheck. One of those things was assisting someone with data collection and processing, where I eventually said, "Dude, I could totally automate this," and now that's what I'm getting paid to do.

Not a rant.

Whoever came with the idea to implement an automatic restore point in Windows... BLESS YOU!!

Just had some problems and the PC won't boot. I entered the troubleshooting option and saw that there was an restore point from 22 this month. Just saved my ass.

Linux gives you so much freedom, for example the freedom to fuck your system.
When i was experimenting with bootsticks i typed the following in the terminal:
sudo dd if=bootstick.iso of=/dev/sdb

Where is the mistake? The usb-stick was already plugged in at boot-time and since it was bootable linux mint named it /dev/sda.

You propably already realized it, i wrote the iso the my harddrive. My attempts to restore the partition-table failed, but luckily the kernel still had it in memory and i was able to backup my files via nautilus.
Still, i nearly had a heart attack

It's long, but trust me you won't get bored. So today, I went to work, even on a Sunday. My supervisor had given the task to finish off my custom module by this week.
There were only the 2 of us in the office. Everyone else enjoyed the holiday.
I got stuck somewhere in the code and approached his desk. We could never see what he was doing on his computer.
Suddenly, I could find him uneasy as I approached and he started jolting St those "ctrl+w" and "alt+f4s" and clutched his mouse to minimize. I said, "Uh sorry, sir but this taxonomy doesn't work in this code, help me out?"
He said, "Oh sure, sit. And he opened chrome trying to act cool. Guess what? Chrome played it like a boss, "Google Chrome didn't shut down correctly. Restore the following pages.
[] Shocking! 99 year old couple have s3x
[] xxx tiny teen shows her.... (i don't remember exactly.)"
The quickest possible glance I ever had. And the most sweaty face I ever saw of his.
He granted me a leave today and extended my deadline for the next week as well. I thought I was screwed :P

One developer to me:
I will need access to root account on that new machine you just installed so that I can install/configure all the stuff and so you won't have to do it.
Me - I can't give you root. Not even sudo, this will be a production machine, I need to have a clean track of it.
D - but I will give it (root) back to you once I'm done.
Me - look pal, root access is like virginity. I can give it away but I will never be able to get it back.
D - But you can remove my access later. And, talking about virginity, there are operations that "restore" virginity ;)
Me - yes, and I can take access to root from you afterwards, which would be similar to the procedure you are referring to. But it won't change the fact that the server was already fucked.

An important message:
PrOpErLy managing servers is HARD.

I get pissed off at customers with ZERO server knowledge who think they can manage their VPS. “Just get a control panel and a VPS” from some flashy provider that makes server management look way too easy.. Clicking around in their fancy control panel, until:

- they need help with their *self-managed* VPS;
- their email ends up in spam;
- they suffer from performance issues;
- they need to restore a backup;
- something breaks, because YES, things break

Way too little people are able to answer:

- when and how do you make backups?
- how do you monitor your servers and which services?
- how do you keep track of trend analysis?

Then I come by with necessary software. SNMP for trend analysis, Graphite for infrastructure health, Sensu for monitoring, Kibana, Ansible for configuration management..

Things that servers need but that customers have never even heard of.. because they can do everything in their control panel..

Until they come crying to me because it broke and they don’t even know how to get into SSH.

I think the ones to blame are VPS providers that tell the tale of how easy it is to install a control panel and never look at your server again.

Customers become responsible for something *business-critical*! Yet they don’t know how it works.

Fucking fuck you STRATO. This cancer of a german hosting provider just should be shutdown for crimes against reason. Our website got infected by some shit (I'd like to not state why, there is only so much pressure my main arterie can handle) and now we are supposed to remove that file. Well they blocked all incoming and outgoing traffic to the server so we cannot connect via sftp, the only choice you got with STRATO. And they wont restore network access for the server unless we remove the file. No logical loop to see here citizen, please move on.

Ok, I’m over windows. Done with it.

I have been a long time windows, I’ve used most versions since 3.11, and have used Linux for a few years on the side (not as a daily but have needed it for work and servers) but with yesterday’s update, not only have I lost audio for the countless time again, as far as Windows is concerned there’s nothing fucking wrong with it, besides the lack of sound and all.

Drivers are reinstalled, deleted and reinstalled, redownloaded from manufacturer, different drivers installed.
Ran a system restore back to before the update and just dropped the hdd into another laptop (it’s identical model) and still no fucking audio (to exclude the audio chip as failing)

So fuck it, I’m spending my weekend finding a distro that will work, I’m fucking done!

I am so sick of the stupidity and illogical reasoning of clients.

Client: Descriptions are no longer syncing. Can you please fix.
Me: Problem fixed and deployed.

Client: All the descriptions got overwritten by the sync descriptions. Can you please have manual uploads overwrite the descriptions that sync (but basically auto guess what the client wants). We may need a toggle.

Me: Toggle added.

Client: Can you go through the 100+ sites backups and restore all the product descriptions?

It's like are you serious right now!!??

Back to the cheeseburger concept here...

Client: Can I have a cheeseburger (comes with pickles, onions, tomatoes, lettuce), no pickles. A Coke? Oh, but I would like pickles on my cheeseburger.

Tender: Here is your order.

Client: Why did you put pickles on this!!?? I asked for NO pickles!

Tender: You added pickles towards the end, so we put the pickles in.

Client: No! I thought you would have known based off of my original statement that I asked for a cheeseburger with no pickles. That is the override!

Narrator: See how illogical things can get. We can't just assume/guess based off of illogical reasoning.

Client: Content is missing from my Shopify site that was there a few days ago. Please restore.

Me: But I didn’t touch your site. And Shopify doesn’t have backups to restore from.

Client: Please restore.

Me: ...

my co-worker raged-flipped her keyboard cause she accidentally deleted the file she has been working on for 2 hours. when we looked in the recycle bin and tried to restore it, it shows an error saying "unknown file extension". she had to start all over because for some reason, we couldnt bring the file back.

I install keyloggers just in case* someone asks me to restore their accounts

What I should do:
- organise my files
- make a pp presentation for English that I haven't even started
- learn for a test about insurances
- learn about characterising, processing and evaluating data
- more shit

What I do:
- browse devrant
- play games
- flash a new ROM until I find a good one
- restore a backup
- flash another ROM
- restore a backup
- go with the least worst ROM I had installed
- sleep
- sleep
- sleep
- sleep
- FUCKING SLEEP

At least I completely blocked YouTube...

Windows update fails with error 0x1235

Me in Technet: Hey, ms, i got this error. How do i fix it?
MS: Install the Troubleshooting for Windows Update and follow the instructions. Before that, create a system restore just in case. Also, if the problem persists, go to your boot menu -> troubleshooting options and follow the instructions.
Hope it helps.
Found it helpful? Yes No

Other random people: just rename $WINDOWS ~BT to anything or delete it. Then continue the process.

.
.

I followed the random people advice and worked.

Fuck MS.

I had a coworker that was a real asshole. I noticed that often, during git merges, he removed part of the code I wrote.
So I had to spend a lot of time copying and pasting my code from git history in order to restore it.
I complained about that but he answered it happened by mistake. In reality that happened so often that he had to done it deliberately.

Btw, I did a little revenge. One day I discovered he didn't feel very comfortable using recursion. Thereafter, every time I needed a small loop I created a recursive function doing the same thing.

Fortunately, after some months I found a better job. I hope he is still debugging that code.

And this, ladies and gentlemen, is why you need properly tested backups!

TL;DR: user blocked on old gitlab instance cascade deleted all projects the user was set as owner.

So, at my customer, collegue "j" reviews gitlab users and groups, notices an user who left the organisation
"j" : ill block this user
> "j" blocks user
> minutes pass away, working, minding our own business
> a wild team devops leader "k" appears
k: where are all the git projects?
> waitwut?.jpg
> k: yeah all git projects where user was owner of, are deleted
> j.feeling.despair() ; me.feeling.despair();
> checks logs on server, notices it cascade deletes all projects to that user
> lmgt log line
> is a bugreport reported 3(!) years ago
> gitlab hasnt been updated since 3 years
> gitlab system owner is not present, backup contact doesnt know shit about it
> i investigate further, no daily backup cron tasks, no backup has been made whatsoever.
> only 'backups' are on file system level, trying to restore those
> gitlab requires restore of postgres db
> backup does not contain postgres since the backup product does not support that (wtf???)
> fubar.scene
> filesystem restore finished...
> backup product did not back up all files from git tree, like none of refs were stored since the product cannot handle such filenames .. Git repo's completely broken

Fuck my life

Fuck. I can't take this shit anymore.

There was a project where we had to implement third-party system for government agency processes management. For some reason, probably because my work is cheap for my boss, the task was assigned to me. Just as a reminder, I'm a .NET Dev. Zero experience in server management. Zero experience in external services implementation.

Anyway, system producent, also an government agency, got angry, becasue they can only earn money on implementation. They have to give the software to other agencies for free. Because of that I've got client program, incomplete documentation and broken scripts for database creation. It took me 2 months to get it all to work but at the end client was happy, my boss got paid and I've got 500 PLN (~130 USD) bonus.

Everything was fine for a while, but after a month server has started freezing everyday, some time before 7 am. The only way I found to make it work again was to restore snapshot made everyday at 10 pm. For a month I was waking up earlier and restored snapshot, and after that my boss took it upon himself. I tried few times to find a bug and fix it, but to no effect. Even person with much more experience with it tried to help but also couldn't find anything.

My solution? Copy all the data and configuration, create new machine, copy everything and check if the problem persists. If not, kill old server. Client won't even notice. But nooooooooo... It would cost my boss a bit of money and I'd need to work on it and he can't let it be, because I'm the only developer working on his flagship product. He'd rather wake up everyday and restore snapshot. Okay, as you wish.

And today, finally, everything went downhill. Snapshot wasn't created, server froze, backup can't be created. Nothing can be done. Client is furious, because they have had reported this problem and a few times restoration was too late and they couldn't work. No one knows how to fix it, I'm not working today (I'm still studying and am available only 2 days) and situation is really shitty.

BUT SURE. ITS BETTER TO RESTORE SERVER EVERYDAY THAN JUST FUCKING FIX IT.

Oh, also, there's no staging or any other real backup. We have snapshots for each day and that's that. Boss' order. Why do I even care...

Fuck spent like 2 days just to figure out dev build packages since they doesn’t allow nuget restore on dev server

Soooo... My senior dev just dropped a very importand table om our production enviroment.
Time to restore the database.. only 50 GB left

Him: "I don't need source control, it's just another program that does unknown things on my source files. What if one day it stops working?? How do I get my files??"

Me: "you could say the same thing on 90% of the tools you use every day... Like when you restore npm packages by GUI"

him: "what are those? I don't use them"

Also him: "command line is vintage"

Tip of monday:

Test your restores, not your backups.

Just got f#@ed by trusting the log, not the restore folder size

It happened.
It finally fucking happend, I wish it didn't, but it happened.

I was in my very first call through zoom were I didn't even speak and didn't even really need to listen.

About 1h.

Everything could have been an e-mail, of course

Cracking old recovery CDs for the 9x/2000/XP era shines some light into how companies operated and when concepts came to be in that time:

Packard Bell: An EXE checks that you're running on a Packard Bell machine and reboots if it's not. How do we bypass it? Easy: just fucking delete it. The files to reinstall Windows from scratch come from...
...
C:?
Yup. Turns out Packard Bell was doing the recovery partition thing all the way back to the 9x era, maybe even further. Files aren't even on the restore disc so if your partition table got fucked (pretty common because malware and disk corruption) you were totally fucked and needed to repurchase Windows. (My dad, at the time, only charged at-cost OEM prices for a replacement retail copy. He knew it was dumb so he never sold PB machines.)

Compaq:
Computer check? Nope, remove one line from a BATCH file and it's gone.

Six archives, named "WINA.ZIP" through "WINF.ZIP" (plus one or two extras for OEM software) hold Windows. Problematic? Well... only because they never put the password anywhere so the installer can't install them. (Some interesting on-disc technician-only utils, though!)

Dell:
If not a Dell machine, lock up. Cause? CONFIG.SYS driver masquerading as OAK (the common CD driver) doing the check, then chainloading the real OAK driver. Simple fix: replace the fake driver with the real one.

Issues?

Would I mention this one if there weren't?

Disc is mounted on N:. Subdirectories work, but doing anything in them (a DIR, trying to execute something, trying to view shit in EDIT.COM) kicked you back to the disc root.

Installer couldn't find machine manifest in the MAP folder (it wanted your PC's serial before it'd let you install, to make sure you have the correct recovery disc) so it asked for 12-digit alphanumeric serial. The defined serials in the manifest were something like "02884902-01" or similar (8-2, all numbers) and it couldn't read the file so it couldn't show the right format, nor check for the right type.

Bypassing that issue, trying to do the ACTUAL install process caused nothing to happen... as all BATCHes for install think the CD should be on X:.

Welp.

well that was fun. Now to test on-real-PC behavior, as VBOX and VMWare both don't like the special hardware shit it tries to use. (Why does a textmode GUI need GPU acceleration, COMPAQ?????)

long time ago....
Feature request: We want an android backup solution in Our app!
UI guy has already developed it, you just need to see if his solution is solid!
Ok then - lets look at the UI: Nice progress bars, that turn into green checkmarks. Looks good.
Now lets look at the code: ... Ok. loading some files into memory.... and... dafuq? does not write to a file?

Backup to RAM. With no restore. 🤦‍♂️.

My windows laptop was having performance issues since last few days.
LAPTOP MAINTENANCE MODE ACTIVATED!
So scanned my whole system with an anti-virus, cleared unwanted data with Ccleaner, quick defragged the C drive, did system restore etc etc, still no luck.
Today I found out the reason: someone had turned the 'Power Options' to 'Power Saver'.

My friend dropped her phone and it doesn't turn on anymore, but she has a dual-SIM spare phone. So the problem didn't seem too bad at first. I told her I'd help her with the backup restoration, set everything up on her new (old) phone.
After 30mins of trying to restore the backup from her old phone and moving the SIM card to the new phone...

"But I didn't have a backup and the SIM card tray isn't working. Can you also help me recover my 10 000 pictures and songs?"

I guess I'm done here

My former coworker had to mail their work equipment back to me..

6 boxes later..

Open up the first box. A mouse wrapped in about 4ft of heavy duty bubble wrap.. a keyboard box double layered in or.. and my favorite, a restore cd literally wrapped 4 times in bubble wrap. Why?

I'm scared to open the other 5 boxes

Sent email to my parents this morning telling them to contact me by email since the Pie update broke my One Plus 6 (when I tried to reroot it but got a bootloop and restoring from TWRP screwed it up even more somehow) so restoring it.

First response from my dad: you can use my spare S9...

Yes he has a spare because he got it in a 2 for 1 deal... but I'm thinking uhhh..... It's not like I physically dropped the phone and cracked the screen... (like he did to his late 2 phones)... I'm 99% sure I can restore somehow... Like I did last time (a few months ago)

For anyone wondering "rm -rf /" on a jailbroken iOS 12 deletes many of the system apps and services but device is still kind of usable without too many crashes, still managed to set boot nonce and restore (thank god).

Client wanted a site for the 100th anniversary of an important local musician. They wanted to show calendar of events, biography, store, and more. We started the work 8 months before the commemorative date, and after 4 months, the site was 99% complete and waiting final review and approvement. 2 weeks of silence has passed, when I got an email saying their deleted the site from server and all backups, and now they wanted all the work back.

With luck, I could restore a partial backup, and the client didn't want to pay for redo the rest of the work.

10 months later (yes, after all the events has started and the site being off) they contact me again, asking to continue the work.

I was happy to say no.

I fucked up. I forgot the password. I already knew I have a really bad memory but then pride came along and told me that I'd remember it this time. Fuck my fucking pride. I fucked up and now I've got to restore this mess.

Fuck.

Linux is an amazing, stable operating system.

Until you decide to upgrade it, then you realise the update failed, your DE is broken and after using Timeshift to restore the system, your GRUB decided to commit seppuku.

How I feel when I have to restore bits and pieces of a live database from an old backup

It’s still to easy.
I hope one day software will get so complicated no one will be able to fix it.

Somewhere in future :
- government established law that new AI system is only one that can accept new law
- every financial operation is monitored by government supervision AI
- we developed robots that are taking care of us
- everyone is happy cause work for money, shelter and food is now optional
- education is fully digital and managed by AI
- whole knowledge is based on asking questions, we don’t need to write and read anymore
- we use one common language and our knowledge specialization increased

A little more time passed by in this utopia.
- after power loss most of data got corrupted
- last man who knew how to restore backup died last night ( R.I.P. admin we will not forget you )
- people trying to save knowledge base to rebuild part of this civilization but no one knows how to make a paper because it haven’t been used for ages
- we decided to put what is left from knowledge on stone but we forgot how to write since everything is audio or video and most of time we were spending in VR
- someone decided that we draw some pictures
- all of use are now drawing animal heads like we remember ourselves from VR, let people know our tech is good
- some people love cats so they try to make cats from stones
- volcano eruptions destroyed most of stones that we made

Starving waiting for another respawn of my DNA sequence. I hope we manage to survive this time.

Just did a transplant on my friend's phone. He dropped it one too many times, and fucked it up real bad.

We were first going to simply put his SIM card into another phone. I had an old S6 that bricked itself during an update before I really knew much of anything about phones, so I dug it out and spent a day trying to restore it with heimdall, adb/fastboot, and eventually odin when I found a laptop with windows. Unfortunately it's a Verizon phone, and because Verizon likes to keep a tight chastity belt on everything, it was pretty much impossible to unbrick. After giving up with finding a custom recovery or flashing a stock ROM, we moved to Plan B.

We took both phones apart, switched the boards, switched the SIMs, and he now has a working phone in much better condition than before he dropped it seven feet from his girlfriend's bunk.

It's always fun to make life from two dead things.

why people around me act like dump. i have recently worked with this site, which is written in php.

customer: (yelling) my website is hacked, fix it immediately
me : ok sir, we will restore your site immediately

after finishing talk with customer. i have checked website, there is no sign of website being hacked. i have checked server logs and website for security breach, there is no sign.

me: your website is not hacked, sir. can you please tell me where you have seen hacked page.
customer: look at those pages

after seen that page i facepalmed myself. it's a bug, person who created that page just splitted string without using any multibyte function, so page is showing with corrupted characters. i fixed it and problem solved. i have told about that bug, to the person who created that page.

me: hey you have used this function which is not able to handle multibyte characters, you should use multibyte character functions for that one.
person: every characters are the same. we shouldn't need to handle that way.

he is actually a senior developer. who don't even know the difference between unicode and ascii characters.

So, my crush told me how she lost her 800+ bookmarks related to her very crucial project (She isn't into computers). I told her she could recover them and I'll help her with the steps. She was so paranoid about losing the rest of the project if something were to go wrong while recovering.
Bookmarks got recovered. She's happy.( I just took the bookmarks.bak file from the chrome folder and converted it to an html doc.)

4 days later-
Her: dude, what the fuck did you do. The whole system has been reset. The whole project is gone. Fucking know-it-all. She thinks I'm responsible for the system restore.
- - - - - -

She's going to HATE me for life 😭. What did i ever do to you, you Microsoft Developers 😔. Why you do this.

I love Unix, Linux all that shit (macOS can fuck off though). But why WHY WHY does every pissing update have to break something?! Guys I need fucking networking, not even intertubes just basic networking.

Anyway, I've come up with a solution. It is quicker for me to install a new OS and restore files from backup than to fix it, so that's what I do.

One time, I accidentally deleted all the data from one of the client's database table (invoices) because i forgot to comment the line from the script.

Good thing there were some backups and I was able to restore everything without anyone noticing. I was so fucking dumb at that time and I felt all the blood rush to my head at that moment when I did a SELECT * and NOTHING was displayed on the screen.

Rookie mistake.

I goofed up and forgot the WHERE clause in my UPDATE query. Accidentally all of production possibly updated because we don't do test databases. I think it didn't actually go through because I cancelled it but now I need to restore a backup and compare data. Which means explaining this to the co-owner who can help me with a restore. I'm mortified, more so because it was a stupid thing to do to begin with.

(On the phone)
Internet Provider Support: "Hello, how can I help you?"
Me: "Hi, I've been unable to connect to internet for the past few hours and-
IPS: "Haven't you heard the pre-recorded message?!"
Me: "Uh... No? I'm sorry, but no message was played before you answered."
ISP: "Well, internet services are experiencing technical issues in your whole area. We'll contact you soon as it's resolved." *Hangs up*

...The company then proceeded to state that everything was fine, after a few hours. On their website. Without specifying how to manually restore the connection at all, since apparently this was needed.

...Great job?
This looks kinda dumb to me but... Is it just me?

Made an Android app a while ago. I needed some pet project so I decided to go with Java for Android. First time, no experience at all.

So everything went ok, I had a little help from a colleague, structuring code, and pushing to the store. Work done app was doing ok.

A year later I came back to this project. I needed to fix a bug - date time and daylight savings crap. 😥

Spent a week on it. Ready to push a new version to the store, with some extra features! Build apk. All good.

Wait. I need to sign the APK? Wtf. I had to format my hard drive. How do I recover my fucking certificate?

*Google's for a while*

No fucking way. I can't restore the certificate. Or get the keystore back. The solution is to create a new app with a brand new package name?

Thanks for nothing, I'm done with Android development.

I recently fucked my pc up by installing the latest AMD drivers. Couldn't get past the lock screen.

I tried to revert to a restore point but, well, it failed and the installation would not boot at all afterwards.

Thanks a fuck ton, AMD and MS.

Ok, So I should delete something to restore it ?
[App name: Dumpster]

*Me trying to restore a backup*
Me: Where's the damm fokder?
My grandmother: It said there was some kind of mistake in this folder, so I deleted it
Me: *screams internally*

Got a new iPhone X. Had to set up as a new phone because my old one had beta software on it and wouldn’t let me restore from backup (yes, I know I could download the new iOS beta on the X then reset and store from backup but I was in a hurry) but in doing so it gave me the chance to rearrange my home screen and devRant made it on the first page!

Getting nugets and dependencies of a big project to restore properly (most of the time the dev fcks his solution up - it works for 'him')

Tomorrow’s schedule:

7am-8: Yoga
8:45-10: Retro
10:15-10:45: Team Meeting
11-11:30: Interview
11:30-Noon: New project meeting
Noon-1pm: Foster care meeting with case worker (monthly check-in)
1pm-1:30: Train co-worker on how to restore databases
2pm-3pm : Onboard new DBA
3:15-4:15: Conference with AWS partner

Yup. I think I’ll complete a perfect zero LOC tomorrow. Oh, I’m also on-call.

fdisk, cfdisk, diskpart and other tools CAN SUCK MY DICK.

I needed to restore my raspberry pi microsd from 200ish MB back to 16 GB and could find NO WAY of restoring it from my pc. maybe there is some ajbd -asdkasd -adkahdh IUYGFG_&38726283746 sdkfjksjf command that does that but I don't give a shit.

I plugged it into my camera instead. One second and my microsd was restored.

Canon doesn't care about your fancy partitions and other shit, it's just fucking blasting, it is like IN YO FACE. I love it.

I restore retro arcade machines because I miss the day when the game actually mattered and it wasn't all about the tickets

Fuck. My boss left for a meeting with the client to show him the new frontend. 5 minutes after he left I saw that on the staging server half of the page entries were gone for the non-default localizations. FUCK.

It took me 20 minutes to restore the fuckery. I hope the client didn't see it...

Going out on a limb here... have any of you done any bare-metal phone programming (not counting compiling like AOSP and such, like totally arbitrary code at boot-time, or bootloader coding, ideally) or know someone that has? A friend got bit by a bad iOS app on a jailbroken iPhone 8 (checkra1n, so no unsigned firms or anything) that has installed a bad iCloud lock on the device, and I need checkm8 shellcode to zero most of if not all of the NAND to get rid of it (since an iTunes restore preserves that data) and I can't figure out jack shit about how any of this works, since ARM isn't strict on what goes where in the address space or how to access hardware.

I just found a vulnerability in my companies software.
Anyone who can edit a specific config file could implant some SQL there, which would later be executed by another (unknowing) user from within the software.

The software in question is B2B and has a server-client model, but with the client directly connecting to the database for most operations - but what you can do should be regulated by the software. With this cute little exploit I managed to drop a table from my test environment - or worse: I could manipulate data, so when you realize it it's too late to simply restore a DB backup because there might have been small changes for who knows how long. If someone was to use this maliciously the damages could be easily several million Euros for some of our customers (think about a few hundred thousand orders per day being deleted/changed).

It could also potentially be used for data exfiltration by changing protection flags, though if we're talking industry espionage they would probably find other ways and exploit the OS or DB directly, given that this attack requires specific knowledge of the software. Also we don't promise to safely store your crabby patty recipe (or other super secret secrets).

The good thing is that an attack would only possible for someone with both write access to that file and insider knowledge (though that can be gained by user of the software fairly easily with some knowledge of SQL).

Well, so much for logging off early on Friday.

Just tried to install the Windows 10 anniversary update, got 26% done did a reboot and I got a black screen and my laptop doing literally nothing. A couple of resets later, "Windows is restoring a previous version" at least they made sure it can restore a previous version.

accidentally quit chrome instead of closing one tab because of the shortcut is very close (cmd+Q and cmd+W)

found cmd+shift+T shortcut to restore tabs

feels saved

chrome restore all tabs

chrome stopped working

chrome quits unexpectedly

Beware: Here lies a cautionary tale about shared hosting, backups, and -goes without saying- WordPress.

1. Got a call from a client saying their site presented an issue with a third-party add-on. The vendor asked us to grant him access to our staging copy.

2. Their staging copy, apparently, never got duplicated correctly because, for security reasons, their in-house dev changed the name of the wp-content folder. That broke their staging algo. So no staging site.

3. In order to recreate the staging site, we had to reset everything back to WP defaults. Including, for some reason, absolute paths inside the database. A huge fucking database. Because WordPress.

4. Made the changes directly in a downloaded sql file. Shared hosting, obviously, had an upload limit smaller to the actual database.

5. Spent half an hour trying to upload table by table to no avail.

6. In-house uploads a new, fixed database with the help of the shared hosting provider.

7. Database has the wrong path. Again.

8. In-house performs massive Find and Replace through phpMyAdmin on the production server.

9. Obviously, MySQL crashes instantly and the site gets blocked for over 3 hours for exceeding shared hosting limits.

10. Hosting provider refuses to accept this was caused by such a stupid act and says site needs to be checked because queries are too slow.

11. We are gouging our eyeballs as we see an in-house vs. hosting fight unfold. So we decide to watch a whole Netflix documentary in between.

12. Finally, the hosting folds and enables access to the site, which is obvi not working because, you know, wrong paths.

13. Documentary finishes. We log in again, click restore from backup. Go to bed. Client phones to bless us. Client’s in-house dev probably looking for a cardboard box to pack his stuff first thing in the morning. \_(ツ)_/¯

At one point, my laptop's hard drive went down. Turns out, windows had written some garbage data to the mft, and fucked up the file structure. Luckily i was able to restore a big chunk of the data using recuva. I cleaned the disk after saving the most important files, cleaned the disk, reinstalled windows. All good so far. I put the laptop's drive and my recovery disk into my desktop to put back the files. During the install in forced me to make an account, which I wanted to delete. So I ran "rmdir /users /s" and went to grab a cup of coffee. Turns out, cmd was pointed at my recovery disk instead of my laptop disk. My whole backup wiped.

Follow-up on yesterday's rant.

Boss hired dev-ops team to restore data from the broken server image. They said it may be completely impossible. Which will probably make clients want to kill us considering it's an government agency.

I wonder how large the contractual penalties will be considering they are almost completely incapable of working without the system and it's going to be few days until anything will be fixed.

Oh well, since no one bothers me it seems it's currently not my problem and I'm free to code ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

If you think your app/code is too buggy and you feel ashamed, try Microsoft's lazy buggy retarded not user-friendly Skype for Business and you'll restore your confidence

The way I was told to write unit tests was particularly terrible.

No mocking of objects or dependencies so the tests ran the actual code in full including updating databases and files. Then at the end of each test there was code to restore all changes back to before the test.

Each test ended up being over 100 lines. Madness.

So I did a clean Windows 10 restore recently on my laptop from Insider program to just Anniversary Update . Went away from my computer for a day or so by the time I got updates completed and Visual Studio up and running. So earlier today I went to start back up development on a project of mine to come across the emulators not working. The thing is that I lost 6 hrs of production to figure this out. I tried everything possible so I gave up and reinstalled VS to just remember I forgot to turn on my Hyper-V in BIOS setting. So I'm half way in VS reinstalling and I can't do anything about it. GOD FUCKEN DAMMIT W10!

Today was a SHIT day!

Working as ops for my customer, we are maintaining several tools in different environments. Today was the day my fucking Kubernetes Cluster made me rage quit, AGAIN!

We have a MongoDB running on Kubernetes with daily backups, the main node crashed due a full PVC on the cluster.

Full PVC => Pod doesn't start
Pod doesn't start => You can't get the live data
No live data? => Need Backup
Backup is in S3 => No Credentials
Got Backup from coworker
Restore Backup? => No connection to new MongoDB

3 FUCKING HOURS WASTED FOR NOTHING

Got it working at the end... Now we need to make an incident in the incident management software. Tbh that's the worst part.

And the team responsible for the cluster said monitoring wont be supported because it's unnecessary....

!dev

Look what I'm fixing to say is gonna make seem like a cunt and it'll probably be deserved but at the same time, I think it should be said too.

The increasingly high number of people fishing for compliments and attention because of their CHOSEN profession being important in the current times is starting get old as fuck.

I've seen so many people fishing for compliments; rather it be medical workers or truck drivers because their job is more important now than usual.

Like don't get me wrong, they're all necessary for society to function. But for crying out loud y'all chose this profession for yourselves. You knew this could happen whenever you decided to go to school for your job. You don't hear server admins bragging and fishing for attention whenever they restore access to a service.

Just do your job, know that everyone appreciates what you're doing even if it's not being verbally said, and let it end there. Personally feel that if you went into the medical field for the praise and recognition, then you went in there for the wrong reason.

Anyways, y'all stay safe and let's get this shit show over with already. Ya boy is going insane

My worst code review involves line endings. In one of our products we use the facade pattern, and one of the facades is about 5000 loc.

Well, a dude in our team messed up with line endings, so our diff tool showed that 5000 lines have changed. A newb I was at that time, I didn't know any other diff tool, so I went through all the lines manually only to see that 2 lines effectively have changed.. and the newb I was, didn't thought about rejecting the change immediately! We then had somehow to revert that commit, but messed up our central repo (was still with CVS). In the end we had to restore the daily backup for the repo because we couldn't manage it to do it right.

Never ever had such a disastrous code review again.

Talking to our helpdesk guy, our financial services controller emailed an 'emergency' restore from backups of 'missing' documents, stating they (the networking dept) violated company file retention policy and opened the company up to fines and other regulatory prosecution if we were audited. Once the files were restored, she wanted a system review of the policy to make sure this never happens again. She made sure she cc'ed VPs and other managers.

He found the files, they were moved one directory up and the log showed she had moved the directory earlier in the morning. He moved the files back and let her know.

Her response, "OK, Thanks" (funny, she didn't cc the VPs and other mgrs on the reply)

Glad I'm not the only one subject to end-user bat sht over-reaction craziness.

Me: Alright Derwent, don't fuck up this database update. There's no undo button and no way to import a database backup so you gotta be extra careful or you're going to have to spend hours writing a whole bunch of regular expressions and sql statements to sift through an 11mb database dump and figure out how to restore 59 thousand records to the correct state. Let's practice this transition on a staging server first and make sure we get it right
Me: I got you fam *presses the wrong button*

Reverting to a restore point buggered up my Visual Studio (isn't the very point of restore points to NOT get you into such messes?), so reinstalling it now. With VS infamous install speed, that's half a day down the drain...

You want to change the wifi network to which is your embedded device connected?
It's easy:
- The native process is broken
- ESP is in the correct state, but refuse to communicate with anything
- Restore to default doesn't work
- Flashing default firmware doesn't help
- download the whole NodeJS/NPM
- compile two perl binaries
- bump into 2 year old bug, that your Intel wifi won't connect to the ESP SoftAP
- reinstall the Intel driver, just to find out it's still not fixed
- connect the external Atheros wifi adapter
- connect that shit back to the cloud

And just after little under 4 days of fiddling with GPIO pins it finally works and communicates.

So when someone rings at my door the music volume is set to zero and the previous volume is cached to restore it ten seconds later. When then this person rings another time within this 10 seconds, the zero volume is cached an the fun begins.

Wouldn't say our teamwork failed we just sucked that day.

I had a ticket to fix a SQL sp and then correct some data afterwards. As this was the typical "urgent fix need now" we went through a different process for fixing it.

Me: Just sent you some scripts can you check them over before we apply it to uat?
Boss: let's go through it together.
5 mins later
Boss: looks fine I'll apply the scripts.
2 minutes later
Me: did you apply the scripts to uat?
Boss: No I applied them to live.
Me: oh ... oh no.

At this point I realized I was missing a critical where clause so yup my update was applied against all of the data.

Boss: oh
Yup he just spotted my error.

Helpdesk phones start ringing
Boss: you pick it up it's your code
Me: hey you applied its your problem now.

One db restore and several incident meetings later we fixed it. Twas a fun day.

Older tech support story, but still a frusterating one.

Sister was running Windows 8.1 (ew) when Microsoft was ramming Windows 10 down everyone's throat.

Her laptop decided to update to Windows 10, and after waiting awhile, she decided to unplug the laptop's battery and power chord.

This did what you expected, corrupted her install, leading to a bootloop. I then got to deal with that to try and recover it.

Once I got into the recovery mode, it wanted her password to restore from a system image, guess what she forgot?

She tried her PIN, and gave up after a few attempts, and I got to reinstall Windows for her.

Lesson learned from this? If you're the IT person of the house, make sure that you have an account on all machines that you may administrate. That way you don't need to deal with this shit.

Man fuuuuuuck, there's nothing more frustrating and scary than fucking up a local git repo. Because you know for a fact you won't be able to restore it

And I even had god damn backups of the .git folder. But reverting leaves me with more files than I started with fuuuck

I literally just deleted all (50+) of my college research files from chrome bookmark folder by accident but after a small research I landed on this article from HTG and by following instructions from there I successfully restore it. Fuck I've never felt so blessed in my fucking life.

I hate it when this happens

Getting a new laptop tomorrow, and was planing the process of setting it up.

Steps for new windows computer
1. Delete all included software... all of it.. call an exorcist if needed. Cast out the demons. Seriously, fuck you norton, and fuck you mcafee.

2.Use Edge to download ANY other browser.

3.edit system files to disable Edge, because fuck Edge.

4.install linux subsystem.

5.intall linux software like git, and use git to restore rc files.

6.party all night (code)

Fuck any system that doesn't work when you simply restore its database. I'm looking at you Piwiki.

Hello! My name is opalqnka and I am a Windows user.

I followed the 12-step program and now I am a step away to being certified LPIC Linux Engineer.

As step 12 preaches, here I humbly share the Program:

1. We admitted we were powerless over Windows - that our lives had become unmanageable.
2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of Linus as we understood Him.
4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
5. Admitted to Linus, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
6. We’re entirely ready to have Linus remove all these defects of character.
7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
11. Sought through bash scripting and kernel troubleshooting to improve our conscious contact with Linus as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to Windows users and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

Just got my laptop back from the store, after having sent it in over 6 weeks ago due to a faulty keyboard. I had made a system image of the hard drive before I sent it in, so I could just restore it and have it ready to go. So I get the backup restoring, and at around 75%, the laptop died. I forgot to plug it in.

I am now currently downloading windows. This is going to be a long night.

Website for a gallery that wanted a 10k website for just 1k ... Must haz super CMS so that they could send me word documents each week so I could manuallly copy paste that shit into the CMS, and somehow extract and restore the lowres embedded images in full resolution ...

I guess it was safe to say this was my first client from hell 😅😂😂😂

The second was a website for some ballroom dude that got my referral from gallery X ... Yup, same shitty type of client

Never touch a running system...

Stop commenting out code blocks!

Either fix your shit or delete it.

I am open to argue what fixing may mean, as it is perfectly fine to make your broken code not reachable, e.g. via feature flags or skipping certain tests. Yet never ever should you comment those blocks!

So you say you want to keep it for historic reasons? You know, that is why we use version control! If you ever need certain functionality back, you can restore that state.

Each decent IDE also offers a local history where you can even restore code blocks that weren't even pushed or committed. So use that!

Commenting out test cases is a really bad habit, as you have no reminder that you shall restore it.

And no, a TODO and a FIXME won't count as a reminder as you have to actively look for them. And we all know how well that goes, don't we? (One time, I found a typo of a `TDO`. So even with a regular lookup for TODO, stuff will slip.)

Each test suite offers you ways to skip tests if there are valid reasons why they should not fail the build temporary and they offer colorful feedback. Yes, that means that your tests won't be green, but guess what: That's a feature! They shouldn't be.

That yellow is a fine reminder, aka warning!, that you should really fix your shit.

Commented code screams: "I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WAS DOING!" and it confuses the hell out of other developers ("Was this commented because of debugging purposes and should be active again or can I safely delete this!?") and adds verbose crap to the code base.

If you find yourself to be in a place that you comment code a lot, I also argue that your workflow is broken.

When you are using a decent debugger, there shouldn't that much of a need to comment in and out a lot of code in order to reason about your code-base.

At work everybody uses Windows 10. We recently switched from Vagrant to Docker. It's bad enough I have to use Windows, it's even worse to use Docker for Windows. If God forbid, you're ever in this situation and have to choose, pick Vagrant. It's way better than whatever Docker is doing... So upon installing version 2.2.0.0 of Docker for Windows I found myself in the situation where my volumes would randomly unmount themselves and I was going crazy as to why my assets were not loading. I tried 'docker-compose restart' or 'down' and 'up -d', I went into Portainer to check and manually start containers and at some point it works again but it doesn't last long before it breaks. I checked my yml config and asked my colleagues to take a look. They also experience different problems but not like mine. There is nothing wrong with the configuration. I went to check their github page and I saw there were a lot of issues opened on the same subject, I also opened one. Its over a week and I found no solution to this problem. I tried installing an older version but it still didn't work. Also I think it might've bricked my computer as today when I turned on my PC I got greeted by a BSOD right at system start up... I tried startup repair, boot into safe mode, system restore, reset PC, nothing works anymore it just doesn't boots into windows... I had to use a live USB with Linux Mint to grab my work files. I was thinking that my SSD might have reached its EoL as it is kinda old but I didn't find any corrupt files, everything is still there. I can't help but point my finger at Docker since I did nothing with this machine except tinkering with Docker and trying to make it work as it should... When we used Vagrant it also had its problems but none were of this magnitude... And I can't really go back to Vagrant unless my team also does so...

Oh great, now garbage websites can even break the browser's reload button. Wanna reload the page that never stops loading or crashes its scripts? Click the button and watch the browser do fuck all and a little bit of nothing.

Nah, you see to refresh that polished rotten turd you gotta close the tab and then restore it, and if that doesn't work open a new one and copy-paste the URL because who the fuck doesn't like some invalid state.

Can't wait for the day I have to shutdown and disconnect the battery because some idiot messed up the layout.

Windows Update prompted me to install the 1809 update for Windows 10 recently.

I left the machine for a while and came back to find it frozen at a completely blank screen.

It eventually restarted...and got stuck in a continual loop where the Windows logo would flash for a second and then instantly restart again.

The restart occurred so early in the boot process that I couldn’t even get it into recovery mode or do anything with it to fix it.

So I had no choice but to reinstall Windows from scratch and reinstall and restore all my software and files. Took about 7 hours.

Not happy!

Show a comment field below a discussion, with rich text and link functionality, to inspire people to craft a detailed answer.

Maybe they will forget to type Ctrl+A, Ctrl+C before hitting send.

So when they do, show a message that "you must be logged in to comment". Use a JS SPA to make sure that there is no way for users to restore their drafted comment. Don't show it after they logged in. When they use their browser's back button, they surely want to exit the application, so make sure to discard any transient data in that case.

Seen on WordPress.org using their infamous Gutenberg block editor.

Currently working on a web platform for a building management company for the last 6 months.

Setup web server, database and developed the whole using laravel and vue.

They are in the testing phase now, so I implemented IPSec so that they can only access it from their office.

Thing is, they don’t have a static IP, so when they had to switch over to a backup connection yesterday, I had to add their new IP in my whitelist.

Today I get and email from their manager, saying that after a discussion he had with his assistant, the web app is not in the “cloud”!!! He got that because I had to “do something” to restore access to it yesterday and because “there isn’t an icon you can double-click” on each employees’ desktop!!!

Don’t even know how to respond to that!!!

Worst prod scenario experienced - on site in small African country working on CRM/billing system my colleague was testing some new SQL and after finishing decided to drop and recreate the DB. She thinks the process is very slow and suddenly realizes she is dropping the prod DB. In a panic she shuts down the system and starts doing a restore from tape, but is so stressed out she writes "tar cv" instead of "tar xv" and overwrites the backup with the broken DB. Took a while to clean that one up...

A client hired someone to work on a new feature while we were working on something else. The new guy makes huge commits that we don't have the time to read, really.
I merged and deployed my work only to find that the whole database was wiped. Apparently, the new guy pushed some code that reset the database.
I Spent the rest of the day looking through backups trying to restore the database.

That moment when you restore a backup from a completely different site into production.

God bless my paranoids and multiple backups.

Oh, crikey: Windows 10 "Inaccessible boot device". Good old "bootrec /fixboot" didn't work, and any claims that "automatic repair" does anything useful is apparently bollocks.

So for the first time ever, I had to use a restore point to revert the system to where it was before Xamarin was installed. The prime suspect for this cock-up is Intel HAXM, since I don't belive anything else in Xamarin possesses the power to accomplish a boot loop.

Well... Just last week one guy somehow completely broken our production server while creating an WordPress using Ghostscript for some reason. First this CMS users 100% CPU, then something has happened and whole server couldn't get up. Admin had to restore it from a backup. There are around 7 client on this server and all of our projects.

Mine: not listening to early warning sings that shit won't work. As a result we implemented the wrong technology and had to roll back after a month in production. Lost some customers data, though we had backups, so it was just a delta of a day or so. Still, not pretty, had a rough night writing scripts at 3am to check data validity after.

I will throw in another one from a colleague of mine. He was running some database migrations and ended up pointing the DB migration tool to production by accident. Oops. That one required a restore as well, if I remember correctly.

I’m so frustrated and I don’t know whether to blame my 2015 Mac, Audacity, both, or my present inability to be able to afford a new Mac because EVERYTHING/EVERYONE IN MY HOUSE IS BREAKING, NEEDS THERAPY OR BRACES, AND LIFE IS NOTHING BUT EXPENSES!

I had just finished tediously transferring, restoring, and trying to export tracks from some old cassette I had of a jazz concert I played in years ago. Audacity froze because my Mac is now apparently underpowered at 8GB of RAM. But Audacity autosaves and on restart usually can restore you back to where you left off. So I tried to force quit it.

I couldn’t even force quit the stupid app and had to totally restart. I think that ruined whatever autosave I had because it could only restore half of the work I’d done. Another freeze finished off the Audacity project, making it TOTALLY BLANK AND WORTHLESS. I just deleted the whole damned thing and will have to start over. I WAS MINUTES AWAY FROM BEING DONE AFTER HOURS OF WORK!!!!!

Now the Mac wants to update to a supplemental release. With each release this expensive boat anchor gets slower and slower.

I just wanna throw all tech out the window. Every damned thing is planned obsolescence in 2 years and made in China anymore and I HATE giving that totalitarian regime any more of my money. Apple is complicit. ALL computer companies are. They could just bring the jobs back here and walk the walk, but they’re all talk.

At the beginning of the evening I started creating a snapshot of my webserver Ubuntu 16.04 installation, running 5 websites.

When the snapshot was created I started a release upgrade to Ubuntu 18.04.

Finally after upgrade and reboot... Nothing worked anymore. Nginx was running but none of the websites was working.

I started checking logs & searching for a solution, with no luck.

Wanted to restore my snapshot. Reading the docs of Scaleway: only a manual on how to restore to a *new* server...

Dumb me removing my current server and wanting to create a new server: "All servers tempotary out of stock"

Me: *panicing and clicking the resfresh button every second*

"Low stock"
*HITTING the create server button*
Added my snapshot
*Booting up*

Ssh'ing into server
Server: "nope"

#+#£_&-+{$}¥}•+';!

*Sees 'add snapshot to volume'*
*Sees 'add volume to server'*
*All websites running again after nginx restart*

What the fuck.
*End of evening*

Restore failed.

Fuck whoever is responsible for the backup and restore features of ADB. Luckily I had a backup in a different format, but if it was up to ADB's shittyness I would've lost all my data.

Was installing Arch linux in dual boot with Windows and I fucked up.
Now I can't boot back into Windows. I tried to restore the boot 'thing' and I wasn't able to.
So tomorrow I will have to reinstall every single program I had since Microsoft doesn't make installed softawared recoverable.
P.S. This is the 4th time I try to install Arch without success (had problems with the bootloader, kde and gpu drivers and ended up bricking the os) but I'm still going to try until I get it to work. Why? Because I hate my life.

"Grub installation failed would you like to try again or continue without a bootloader?"

I was like well why in the burning hell would you even touch the bootloader on a completely different drive then you are installed on.

Boy, never was I so wrong...

That motherfucker deleted the windows bootloader and I've tried everything to get it back. Even tried to restore the whole frickin boatloader from scratch, with no success.

Best I could do was to make a pendrive with the bootloader on so I can boot up that shit. Four days have passed and still no luck in fixing it.

Well I guess I will call this a security feuture. If you don't insert the correct thumb drive you couldn't access the computer.

Note to self: Always do a dry run first when you have --delete-before using rsync.

Long story short I wanted to restore some folders from my external HDD to the home directory on my laptop XD I should have specified the exact folders 😹

The iPhone is only good for consuming apps, that's it. If you want to use it for anything else, good luck.

Its keyboard is miserable.

Its browser is the new IE.

If you connect to a share folder, at random you lose all networking and you have to restart the phone.

You don't reliably get notifications so good luck explaining to your boss or client or girlfriend why you didn't reply back for hours.

Once the battery permanently dies, you're just expected to spend another $1k for the privilege of this suffering.

It took over 25 edits to get to this point in the message. I had to restart this status symbol 3 times in the last 24 hours in order to restore its ability to communicate. It is agony to use this substandard pile of garbage and it has objectively made my quality of life worse in the 18 months I've had it.

It's an iphone 12. I bought it new from the store. I thought Apple only intentionally made older phones unusable through updates, but this has been unusable since the beginning.

Dependency hell is the largest problem in Linux.

On Windows, I just download an executeable (.exe) file, and it just works like a charm! But Linux sometimes needs me to install dependencies.

At one point, I nearly broke my operating system while trying to solve dependencies. I noticed that some existing applications refused to start due to some GLIBC error gore. I thought to myself "that thing ain't gonna boot the next time", so I had to restore the /usr/lib/x86_64-linux-gnu/ folder from a backup.

And then there is a new level of lunacy called "conflicting dependencies". I never had such an error on Windows. But when I wanted to try out both vsftpd and proFTPd on Linux, I get this error, whereas on Windows, I simply download an .exe file and it WORKS! Even on Android OS, I simply install an APK file of Amaze File Manager or Primitive FTPd or both and it WORKS! Both in under a minute. But on Linux, I get this crap. Sure, Linux has many benefits, but if one can't simply install a program without encountering cryptic errors that take half a day to troubleshoot and could cause new whack-a-mole-style errors, Linux's poor market share is no surprise.

Someone asked "Why not create portable applications" on Unix/Linux StackExchange. Portable applications can not just be copied on flash drives and to other computers, but allow easily installing multiple versions on a system. A web developer might do so to test compatibility with older browsers. Here is an answer to that question:

> The major argument [for shared libraries] is security, that if there is a vulnerability in a commonly-used library, then only that library has to be updated […] you don't have to have 4 different versions of a library installed

I just want my software to work! Period. I don't mind having multiple versions of libraries, I simply want it to WORK! To hell with "good reasons" for why it doesn't, and then being surprised why Linux has a poor market share. Want to boost Linux market share? SOLVE THIS DAMN ISSUE!.

Understand that the average computer user wants stuff to work out of the box, like it does in Windows.

Working on something else. If I lose motivation in schooling or work, I go play with one of my cars or mess with an old small engine. When I realize I need money to restore the 48 year old car, I go back to playing with servers.

If I don't want to do anything I just read a book and/or listen to some music. Usually some metal, or rock, or bluegrass, or whatever else I feel like at the moment.

Client be like:
Hello,

could you please restore our database from today's backup?

At a first glance - nothing out of the ordinary. Daily backups are standard...

Until we get the backed up snapshot running.

MySQLDump is somehow... Stuck. It... Doesn't seem to be doing... Like, anything. For ages. Wtf.

So we check the database. Connect, change scheme and... The commandline tool gets stuck, too. Weird.

So a layer lower, we check the datadir and... ls... After also getting stuck for a bit, lists about 500k files O_o

Yea, dumping a database with roughly ~250k tables is not fun. No wonder it takes ages.

I know Windows update rants are a dime a dozen but HOW IN THE FUCK DID YOU MICROSUCKADICK BOOT LICKERS SHOVE SO MUCH HORSESHIT INTO THIS UPDATE THAT IT UNINSTALLED VIRTUALBOX? The hell?

Really, I rebooted my PC, short cuts everything, gone! Newer stuff is there plus any restore point would have had VirtualBox installed, so what the hell.

I’m stating to think that when Windows says “all your files are exactly where you left them” it’s a best guess because it just completely fucked with all your files for no reason and tried to put them back but it’s not so sure.

5 hours to restore a database.
1 second to realize that he fails miserably.
I hate my life.

I need help.
I love software and hardware development but over a period of 4 years now i have lost motivation. I hardly finish anything i have started and if i finish, it's never rewarding.

I also feel like i live a very boring life. Staring at the screen all day and doing very little.

What do you guys do for fun? What activities or books do you read to keep yourselves busy or entertained?

I have been having this desire for someone to love but something makes me think that it's just a reaction to a soul that has lost purpose and only feels like loving someone will be a source of happiness. Luckily, nobody has been available for the mess i have been.

I really admire busy people. People who are passionately working on something they have chosen to do and still have fun.

I think talking to someone about how bad i feel about myself will help a little but what i really need is help on how to restore the motivation i had 4 years ago.

Can someone give me a fun project i can work on? Not for making money but something i will do, learn and feel happy about it.

I will also appreciate if someone can recommend a good book that will help me learn. Get me motivated and also hide me from this reality.

Thank you.

"Just try it on production"
- a coworker DBA shortly before he desperately had to figure out how to restore to the latest backup.

If your project gets fucked up beyond repair, for example by your IDE (I'm looking at you, Android Studio) try this:

0. Backup any ignored but essential files in your project (e.g. secrets) outside of your project directory.
1. Close your IDE.
2. git clean -xdf
3. Restore any backed up local files.
4. Reopen the project as a new one in your IDE.

This is awesome, because it cleans up everything non git and not committed. So any local project files configured by your IDE will be nuked, which allows for a clean start. Also, all your locally committed work is preserved.

BTW, if you really need to start over (even with git), then just remove all the things an clone the remote repo again.

Whenever I have my mac crash and corrupt its OS, I just get a backup harddrive and it copies itself FLAWESSLY. I have all my programs, settings, settings in programs and files.

When Windows crashes, and I use the recovery tool, I LOOSE EVERYTHING. The only thing I get to keep are my files, and they most of the time have permission issues after a restore.

Windows is like the toddler that stares out to void of existance and can't do anything but drool on their shirt, while its parents say he's highly gifted.

Fuck me we're able to choose between only a few OS'es that my clients know and allow me to work on but things like this just make me want to go be a chicken farmer or something.

Was working on an issue that had to deal with destroying a session on browser close. Took me a looong time to realize that it wasn't working because my firefox and chrome browsers were set to restore sessions on startup

Accidentally cleared user accounts table that connects mobile apl accounts with main system accounts. Almost had a heart attack​ but luckily Azure had point in time restore 😌

Sooner or later everyone needs a system restore.

So, yeah...
Something like 2 years ago? I was bored in school, so I decided to make something on website that I was creating then...
I wrote few lines and sent file to the server.
BANG!
I don't know how, but I saved it as "index.php" in the root folder of website. I overwritten fucking index.php, lost this fucking file. Soo... I had two options: make index.php from the beginning, or restore backup and loose changes form 24 hours. I choosed the second option.

Dev DB just auto shutdown in the middle of a restore.

From an online backup.

With NORECOVERY.

Shit.

So a minute ago I deleted all my Spotify songs, because Spotify now calls them Favourites instead of just Songs. Fucking morons. I thought I had loads of mediocre music in my favourites, and because I don't use favourites, I thought: let me just remove all songs from it so I can start over.

Turns out: that's all the songs I've ever added to Spotify.

Once I realised what I had done, I quickly turned off internet to see if it hadn't synced yet, but of course: FML, it was published. I quickly turned off internet on my phone and opened Spotify: gone already (the bastard was open) before I could turn internet off.

So, my last hope: turn off internet at home, fire up my old Windows PC, open Spotify, put all songs in a playlist, turn on internet, let it sync (au revoir songs or 'favourites', hello new playlist), restore all the things!

Luckily, I booted that old PC (and Spotify boots automatically in the background) last week, so it should have all my songs (I didn't add any this week). I'll let you know if it worked.

And heads up: your songs are now gone, you now have 'favourites'. 🤦🏽‍♂️🤦🏽‍♂️🤦🏽‍♂️🤦🏽‍♂️

Fuck you, UX ruiners at Spotifuck!

Found on my 2TB HDD
Lets try restore it all

I just fucked up real bad:

My phone was giving some error about not being able to install an update. Fair enough, i think to myself, so i try rebooting. Still nothing...

I then remember that i at some point OEM unlocked it for some testing, so i start up adb and see if i can connect during the update process. I can't. This is bad: I can't get into my home environment, nor can i connect with adb

Then i try booting into recovery, but instead of booting to ACTUAL recovery, it boots to some custom made "E-Recovery" made by huawei (my phone is a huawei p9 lite), which only gives me the option to download the update, which crashes, and no way of resetting. However, from here, i am finally able to connect to my internal storage via hisuite to make a backup

Next up: Bootloader
So i next load up the unlocked bootloader to try and manually flash the update. That works great, but it still wont boot normally. So i figure: it must think my device is in fact a different device. At this point i'm pretty fucked: Even though i have my data backed up, i can't manually download the update from huawei's site because i don't have the right keys, and i can't download an OTA because their site sucks and half of the downloads don't work, including the one i need. So now i'm stuck here with a bricked phone because EMUI doesn't know how to install an update.

I then did the stupidest thing i have done to date: i wanted to flash a custom recovery image over the "E-Recovery" in order to do some troubleshooting, but instead of writing
"fastboot (mydeviceid) flash recovery recovery.img"
I wrote
"fastboot (mydeviceid) flash boot recovery.img"
Meaning i flashed my BOOT partition with a custom recovery image that turned out to not be able to run. Great! Now i've totally fucked my boot sequence

I can't call their support line either, because as soon as they realize i've tried to restore it myself, and therefor had my OEM unlocked, they basically just hang up.

I have found a DVD with a Windows XP backup file with my late mother's photos on it. However, nothing seems to open the file. I, of course, did a lot of Google searches on how to do this and what it seems to come down to is a need to run the restore on an XP, Windows 7, or Server 2008 machine. There are several legacy ntbackup restore programs out there, and Microsoft seems to still have a page for downloading that, but it relies on the long-deprecated Removable Storage Service that no longer exists on Windows 10. So, a) Microsoft are a bunch of jerks for not supporting restores of legacy backups and b) does anyone have a successful method you've used to get a BKF file to restore? All the things I've tried say the BKF file is corrupted, but how to know for sure when Removable Storage Service isn't present?

This one was thanks to the beloved MariaDB.

I needed to update a record with id = 12345
I copied the id to the clipboard.
Then proceded to type:

UPDATE table SET field = NULL WHERE Ctrl+v

So it ended up
UPDATE table SET field = NULL WHERE 12345

I forgot to type "id = " after the "WHERE".

MariaDB says "OK, after the WHERE any number means TRUE".

Simple update taking longer than 0.000001 seconds means bad news. And if you add that I was making the stupid update using phpMyAdmin, I couldn't cancel it faster. I had to log into terminal and kill it from there. Some hundred of thousands of records updated to null, thank you.

It was a testing database, and we had a backup so I had to take my good 30 minutes to restore it but it was not cool.

I've been reticent to chime in on this weeks group rant, feels too personal...but it is what is is.

Most emotional was losing a dev to cancer, and an analyst to an allergy, and an engineer to an accident...ugh.

Most intense was probably losing servers and hard drives without recovery, not being able to get databases back online because they went down so bad, websites being down, not meeting some quarterly goal, shit not building, email campaigns that go sideways...fuck...anything involving reactionary leadership...unrealistic expectations.

But all that shit, while seemingly important or "stressful", pales in comparison to someone you fought with in the trenches not being there anymore.

restore -if friends

Fucking computer went on a fritz at 2am after a hard reset ...
Got it to restart, no sound.
Trying a restore point, hope it's software.

Rant!
Shifted to new office few days back.
Just had to put up with the shitty intermittent internet connection.
SSH failing and coming out for every 50 secs.
Trying to take Mongo Dump and restore for the past 2 hours. Finally! ufff.

When the network is disconnected SSH gets disconnected. Fine. Acceptable. Again, when the network gets connected, it should start from the same place right ? Dumb Enough. But i wanted that today.

Bad day already, code to upload to to sites and the network goes down. while working to restore network, laptop battery goes. plugged in laptop and now it won't boot in to Xfce!!!! totally FML day.