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Bf: what you doing?
Me: coding
Bf: do you ever stop working?!
Me: I'm not 'working', I'm doing my own project.
Bf: but you do that at work. Why do you want to keep doing it?
Me: it's fun?
--- a few days later ---
Bf: what you doing?
Me: reading.
Bf: omg you're not coding! What are you reading?
Me: a book about coding
Bf: *faceplam*15 -
Pleb: "What's your job?"
Me: "I'm a programmer."
Pleb: "Great, because I have a problem with my pri..."
Me: "STOP! Last person who thought I was a printer support serf got strangled with the printer cable."
Pleb: "But it's a wireless printer."
Me: "Right, where's the power cord?"5 -
Me : I need to give Tom a wash.
GF (Smashed table, angrily) : Tom is your Keyboard, stop giving everything a name.
Me : you hurt poor George!10 -
Alexa (in another room): ***ALARM***
Me: Hey Google, broadcast "Alexa, stop"
Alexa: ***stops***
Me:
11 -
Dear people of Subway, just because i am using cmd, it doesnt mean i am
"Hacking your wifi network" and asking me to stop is rather unneccessary25 -
I asked my mom if I can buy myself a raspberry pi for my birthday.
No matter what I show or say to her, she won't stop telling me to bake my own raspberry pie. ;-;10 -
Me : I'm having a pretty bad headache.
Boss : Stop acting like a girl and get back to work.
Me: It's a migraine headache.
Boss: Ohh!! You know it's just in your head stop being a pussy. Don't think about the headache, and you won't feel any pain.
Me(in my head) : You fucking idiot you are partially correct it's in my head. But the pain won't stop if I stop thinking about it.
*Why the fuck does no one understand a neurological disease. If i'm not physically hurt, it doesn't mean i'm not in pain*
Fucking ignorant bastards.13 -
Brain, stop. Please just stop coming up with new ideas for one fucking second.
I wish I could implement them all but I have never finished a side project ever.
Please. Just. Fucking. Give. Me. A. Fucking. Rest. Right. Now. And. Stop, Coming. Up. With. New. Project. Ideas.
😫😡25 -
The Company I work for has a new Website.
Me: opens inspector, changed an elements position.
Boss: "Stop! We paid so much for this you'll destroy everything."
Me: reload page, smile at him.7 -
Me:*connects up laptop to projector via wifi bc teacher doesn't know shit about computers*
Teacher: *sits at computer*
Teacher: *closes the program that streams to projector*
Me:*facepalm*
Teacher: "Why did it stop working did you set it up wrong?"5 -
Shout out to devs who put comments in your code I'm so done with my team rn
Also we have slack for a reason stop texting me to update everyone on changes...
2 -
My phone: battery low
Me: ...
Phone: battery low!
Me: ...
Phone: battery low!!
Me: ..
Phone: battery low!!!
Me: well, if you stop whining about it every minute you'll save your energy and won't die!2 -
Dear everyone,
I am never late to meetings you set up with me, so please stop being late to meetings I set up with you.5 -
*me, 11 pm: "Welp, I think I'm gonna stop for tonight"
*Me, 2 am of same evening: "ThE eDiT fOrM iS fUnCtIoNaL aNd wOrKinG!!!"
3 -
I wonder when people will realize we wear headphones because we don't want to talk to them.
Having headphones on sure doesn't stop some asshat from trying to talk to me
9 -
Me, doing QA
PM: "stop submitting bug reports about screen size, we're only supporting one resolution for now"
Me: *What do you mean you're only supporting one resolution it's a website and it breaks on screens <1400 px tall*
*Sigh*
"okay, what resolution?"
PM: "No one knows"
Me: *dies*2 -
Me: *uses google chrome*
Parents: Stop, log out of everything, you're hogging up the internet, omg
Me: *unplugs computer*
Parents: *their computer still not working* You downloaded a virus to our wifi you're grounded for a month3 -
Hello, mister Boss man. If you'd please stop referring to me and my colleges as "resources". K, thx.4
-
Last round in Microsoft interview
HR: Do you have any questions for us.
Me: Thinks randomly and says. Do I get a Mac here for work.
HR: Let's stop interview here.6 -
Meetings all day. Latest meeting topic: "Why are we going to miss our deadline?"
Here's an answer : Stop with all the meetings and let me code!4 -
My family: Can you repair the printer ?
Me: No ...
My family: can't send my emails, fix it !
Me: No ...
My family: why this people can share my photos on Facebook ? Stop it now !
Me: Then stop sharing all your god damn life each time you eat, fart or go to the bathroom !!!! For fucks sake !
Also me: why have I started computer science ?2 -
So my mom told me I should stop playing games...
....When she literally saw me flashing OpenWrt in a Linksys router...
chotto matte nani sore6 -
Damn I hate when people ask me to stop coding just because Excel doesn't work or the Antivirus license expired, even worse my boss gets mad at me when I tell him that I'm a coder that we have tech support people, who apparently do nothing, to all the PMs and Lead Devs
Please stop telling me about the freaking deadline if you also ask me to install your stuff.
Sorry for the negativity, had to get it out12 -
My computer science teacher won't stop developing on the production server 😭 he switches the branch on the production machine to dev all the time and merges broken code into master. Kill me4
-
HR: why you want to work with us.
Me inside: you stupid, because you need my skills and I need your stupid money, stop reading articles about stupid interview questions.
Me: because I love to work on such amazing environment, and I really love the technology you're using.5 -
Stop bitching about having to write comments, they are important whether you like it or not. Trust me nobodys code is "that good" 😒4
-
Dad: "Install this apk for me"
*try it and installation fails*
Me: "I checked the repo and it's for a much older version of Android. Won't work for you."
Dad: "Don't be a quitter. It can definitely be done."
Please stop asking me for help.6 -
Stop ask me if I can have a call every freaking time I send you an email. If I wanted to talk to you I would have called.3
-
I'm nearly done importing almost half a million records to Shopify and they just formal email asking me to stop hitting their API so hard.3
-
"Nothing good will ever come of this computer thing of yours. Stop wasting time and learn something useful."
. . .
My Mom was telling me this for years.4 -
"Your every second word is 'fuck', you really should watch out for that."
Fucking give me a fucking client who doesnt fucking call me at 6am fucking saturday and ill fucking stop swearing.4 -
I need to yell something out loud here because if I don't yell it here I'm going to yell it at a coworker, which would be unprofessional and kinda rude of me.
STOP APOLOGIZING FOR BEING A FUCKING CRETIN AND ALSO STOP BEING A FUCKING CRETIN.
Phew, thanks. That feels better.10 -
I’m so tired of egocentric lying management executive types.
Executive: You should be thinking about how you speak to the “leadership”.
Me: How about stop lying, blaming me for your own mistakes, and then blackmailing?
Guy has never heard ‘no’ in his life.
Seriously, иди на хуй.10 -
Didn't it take us years to stop writing javascript and html embedded? Is it just me or are we going back where we started? It's all a mix now!
19 -
"STOP PLAYING VIDEO GAMES ALL DAY"
Mom can't distinguish between me writing GUI and playing video games 😅 -
Me: asking about a problem in javascript
Other: do u use a framework?
me: yes
other: which one?
me: vue
other: i would use angular because this and that
me in my head: okey thanks but its not a problem with the framework lol
pls stop this. react, angular, vue are all doing the same10 -
Sister: What is "sudo"?
Me: it lets you do things as another user
Sister: Stop speaking computerese!
😑9 -
my girlfriend told me to stop spending too much time in front of the computer, so I stopped dating *foreveralone*
1 -
Me: I prefer to make sure dev is fully separated from prod, that way if we fuck up, it doesn't matter.
Manager: It's fine, the service isn't fully deployed and dev/prod are named differently.
Me: runs ansible script to stop dev
*prod breaks*
Me: Huh. Wonder why that happened.2 -
On Windows: Use Tools and scripts to stop/uninstall/deactivate functionality so that the OS becomes useful for me.
On Debian: Use Tools and scripts to start/install/activate functionality so that the OS becomes useful for me.
🤔🤔🤔🤔🤭2 -
DEAR FRONTEND CLIENTS
STOP ASKING ME TO DO THE GEOMETRICALLY IMPOSSIBLE
YOU PASSED FIRST GRADE YOU SHOULD KNOW HOW SHAPES WORK
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH18 -
What I fear most is the "I used to be a developer like you" type of client.
No, that's not how any of that works.
No, noone uses that anymore.
Please stop trying to correct me.4 -
Whoever's the fucker that want my pictures over in DMs in Discord please stop asking for it or I swear a big tiddy onee-san will ara ara you in bed, and that won't be me18
-
Spent the last 3.5 days developing none stop for a client. Met all their additional deadlines and requirements.
It's been worrying me for for a month.
I'm now seriously happy and relieved.
3 -
I am patiently waiting till someone makes me close my laptop or tell me some bullshit like 'stop hacking' inside ships/trains/planes
I am passive aggressive and willing to put up a fight :smileyface:5 -
*phone dings*
Manager: Please share the timelines for feature X
Me: *swiping away the Teams notification* Please get a life and stop texting your engineers at 9 PM5 -
I've set up my server to only accept logins with SSH-keys, and permanently banning all IP:s that attempt login with passwords.
Now I can't stop watching the banned IP:s stacking up, it's like drugs to me.6 -
Fuck , fuck y'all who use hashtags where it doesn't work. Idiots adding hashtags to stories on WhatsApp, Snapchat. It hurts. Stop.
Join me in this revolutionary movement to stop hashtag abuse.14 -
Please stop talking to me, please....... As an introvert, please shut up and stop taking to me, there's a reason I don't continue talking to you after answering your questions.... its exhausting already!!!!!!14
-
STOP. LOOKING. AT. HALF. FINISHED. SPRINTS. FOR. STYLING. ERRORS.
For the love of god I know it's not right yet leave me aloooooone7 -
I love it when unethical companies' marketing chaps assume that I care about their SMS garbage more than I get pissed off by it. Damart, I didn't even know about your existence or what the hell you do as a business (selling woman clothes apparently.. am I a woman?!) until you shoved your ad crap into my face, and Unigro I really don't have a pending contract with you so kindly fuck off with your reminders (that are in French but am I a Walloon? No!).
Makes me wonder though, with email I usually just give everyone a different email address to deflect spam - since I can reroute email to any particular address straight to /dev/null on the server if so desired. With SMS and SIM cards that isn't really possible.. hence why I'm always so hesitant about sharing my phone number. In email the addresses are scraped off the internet.. but phone numbers? How do such shitcompanies even obtain those?! Their level of pushiness and unethical behavior boggles my mind.8 -
wdym Family reaction story?
"When the truth eventually came out that I was a dev, my mom wouldn't stop crying and my dad still doesn't talk to me." ?1 -
For goodness fucking sake Microsoft. Stop doing everything possible to get me to use Edge Browser.
Since building my new computer I've had edge recommended in the notification center, lock screen, start screen, emails, and now on my fucking taskbar.
Seriously what the hell is wrong with them, I DONT WANT TO USE THEIR SHITTY BROWSER. I wont use their shitty browser so stop recommending it to me. I'm already invested In Google services so stop trying to push your own on me.
Honest to God what do the higher ups at Microsoft do with their time? Sit around a table figuring out how to get people to use their default apps?
14 -
SOMEONE PLEASE JUST TELL ME:
HOW DO I STOP BEING SO FUCKING AWKWARD!!!!!!!! Tell me please, i swear to you. My life would be so much better if i wasn’t so awkward and have social anxiety. Tell me what to do because i’m tired of it, i hate it so much.42 -
“Stop trying to name it and name it”
Kevlin Henney adapting Morpheus’ iconic “stop trying to hit me and hit me” with regard to choosing names for classes/functions/vars. Too often we pussyfoot around with computer sciency sounding words instead of just calling it exactly what it is.12 -
Stop ending rants with "Welcome to my TED talk."
All it does is make me want to stick my fist in your ass.
Welcome to my TED talk.8 -
I have to confess. I'm a distro hopper. I've been a distro hopper ever since last year, and it got me tired. I spend entire hours checking distrowatch, partitioning, setting up hardware and drivers and passwords... I've tried to stop, I swear, but every time I do, there goes a new Solus release, an Openbox Debian based new branch, a forensic floppy disk that I know that I won't ever use for real. I just love assigning swap, fighting with rEFInd icons, testing modules, navigate trough different configs... Oh God, I even set up a virtual OpenBSD, just to see what it can do.
My friends have been telling me to stop, because I don't take care of our relation, that I'm becoming a monster. It's shameful and embarrassing to me when they ask me about my day and I say "you know, installing Manjaro on my desktop, and Lubuntu to that crappy old Asus I have for backups" I think I'm going to lose my head some day, this sickness is driving me straight down to the Slackware pits. I should stop it before I try Ratpoison environment but truth be told; I mean not to stop. I'm a distro hopper.
I ride my way live, unstable and restless.6 -
I need to stop sacrificing readability for smaller amounts of code. What looks good to me isn’t always best for everyone and that’s a fucking tough pill to swallow.4
-
"wow I love this programming article, how do I... tell the author or something, can I comment or... what's this, clapping hands, ok... fine...... ah fuck"
3 -
Postman needs to learn it's god damned place.
No, I will never sign up for an account you god damn crappy wrapper for curl written in electron. Stop giving me banner ads. Fuck SO FAR off.14 -
It's almost weekend!
But wait! My colleague just changed some code in the production environment. Whoop! Guess what! It's broken now
Fuck you, stop bothering me. I have to celebrate weekend with non-existing friends.11 -
With all these posts lately about raspPi’s and I’m just here waiting for mine to arrive 😞
Stop taunting me with your Pi!
Now to work out what to do with it before it arrives.4 -
This is one of the most infuriating things Apple has ever done to me. I have my spaces set up exactly how I want them. STOP RUINING THEM! Took me longer than I'd like to admit to find this little check box.
6 -
There should be a way to let Google know ok I have purchased this item already, can you please stop showing me this ad on every website I visit.5
-
Me: *Adding finishing touches on my project*
Also me: *Adding more small features to the project*
I want it to be done but I can’t stop thinking of quality of life features3 -
Decided to stop lurking and sign up. Hi devRant. Thanks for all the sanity conservation you've provided me.3
-
Incompetence of people around me drives me mad. I see a piece of shit code and I can’t stop myself from improving it.
Also better developers around me. I need to find out how they’re better and beat them6 -
Dear Microsoft, stop pushing me to update to Windows 11.
I still haven’t changed my mind and I won’t change it even if you ask me for the 6th time.
Just stop being an annoying bitch, please!
Also, one button is completely enough. You don’t need to make me click 3 or more buttons in different places just to remove your Win 11 messages which you keep slamming into my face.5 -
Coleague: "Hey! get back to work, stop drawing weeb shit"
(pictured below)
Me: "Heroku's building"
Colleague: "oh, carry on"
3 -
Interviewer: “I agree, companies should stop calling people devops engineers, devops is a culture”
Me: “I’m glad you see it that way too”
*weeks later*
Interviewer, now new boss: “and this is our DevOps Engineer, Jeff”
Me: 🤨2 -
Today:
Rando Person: Also this doesn't work, and this, and thi----
Me: Wait, what doesn't work and where? Show me...
Rando Person: Here see-
Me: Stop ... see how that says 'beta' and not to use it?... and how did you find this / get access to this?
Rando Person: Yeah the customer is using it.
Me: For fucks sake.... -
In the office I had the dashboard with coronachan stats and the map on the huge tv but the HR told me to stop that 😭9
-
First time committing a ticket is scary… I can’t stop thinking how my colleagues and tech lead gonna look at my code and question me if I lied on my resume…
3 -
Dear devs/studios,
Stop showing me ads while in the middle of a game or while I'm actively using the app. At least wait till the process is completed.1 -
Can we stop down-voting things for no reason, it's really starting to grind at me as we have worked hard to make this community awesome.10
-
Me : "I need to stop geeking out about security because I have exams and need to write a report"
Me 2 hours later : "Ooooo.. what's this cool article about?Let's check it out 😎"2 -
Seriously OnePlus, stop trying to optimise my battery.
My alarm was ringing for over a minute without me realising it because it apparently decided it was unimportant enough to just silently fade into the background.
Ugh9 -
OMG people please stop being so fucking lazy... help me help you... RN I have multiple support people asking me to fix a bug that they can't even describe (and honestly I doubt it exists) and a fellow developer who refuses to give me a DB or migration to test his patch but wants me to merge it urgently. FOH and die, y'all.20
-
The worst thing a medic can say to a programmer is: "you need to stop drinking coffee". Happened to me :(11
-
make let not var
Other devranters:
LOL
MOAR
OHAHAHAHAH
OMG SO FUNNY
me:
make: *** No rule to make target `let'. Stop.7 -
I’m fairly new to maintaining my own webservers. For the past week the servers (two of them) kept crashing constantly.
After some investigation I figured it was due to someone running a script trying to get ssh access.
I learned about fail2ban, DOS and DDOS attacks and had quite a fight configuring it all since I had 20 seconds on average between the server shutdowns and had to use those 20 second windows to configure fail2ban bit by bit.
Finally after a few hours it was up and running on both servers and recognized 380 individual IPs spamming random e-mail / password combos.
I fet relieved seeing that it all stopped right after fail2ban installation and thought I was safe now and went to sleep.
I wake up this morning to another e-mail stating that pinging my server failed once again.
I go back to the logs, worried that the attack became more sophisticated or whatever only to see that the 06:25 cronjob is causing another fucking crash. I can’t figure out why.
Fuck this shit. I’m setting another cronjob to restart this son of a bitch at 06:30.
I’m done.3 -
If you want recruiters to stop messaging you on linkedin. Change your job title to "Professional Cleaner".
Follow me for more tips on how to get rid of the blood sucking leaches6 -
Email (not a ticket) comes in this morning: "You need to make X change to y thing, yesterday!!" with of course the obligatory million + 1 Cc's including unrelated directors across multiple sites.
Me as my helpful self: I expected this request, I'll get it sorted asap
Director 1: *calls*
Me: I'm working on it
Manager: *calls*
Me: I'm working on it
Submitter: *calls*
Me: ignore
Director 2: *calls*
Me: I'm working on it
..............
As a bonus rant, after implementing the change, manager calls and criticises my technical explanation to the submitter who I know is fully capable of understanding the way it was explained 😂
Happy Thursday!3 -
<sarcasm>
Stop wasting your money on buying ram guys... Check out this and thank me later:
http://downloadmoreram.com
</sarcasm>3 -
I hate it when recruiters write something like "I now that you don’t like recruiters, but maybe you like this offer."
WHEN YOU KNOW I DON'T LIKE YOU THEN JUST STOP TALKING TO ME!2 -
dear mom,
i know you mean well, but please stop getting me laptops for my birthday. i spend countless hours fixing wifi and graphics card and other drivers because of this.
thank you13 -
So, I accidentally hit a tourist near the bus stop. He shouted something in french in anger. A guy near told me he is abusing.
In anger, I shouted , " printf bi*ch" .. -
OMFG!! My computer rebooted.. after VS is again performing voodoo stuff on my code..can you please fucking stop reformatting everything!? OMG it's driving me crazy, I've already disabled every format option I could find.. you piss me off one more time, I'm switching to np++!!!!6
-
make code change
stop server
try to re run server
dependency problems
java, tomcat, gradle , eclipse, just kill me, dont torture me like this1 -
Amazon's AWS support sent me an email about a request to support that I sent to billing, saying they sent it to billing. They then said they couldn't help.
I just need them to stop billing me for things I no longer use!2 -
Me on Windows: Connecting headphones via Bluetooth, starting to play some music.
Ten minutes later, Windows: Setting up device
-> Headphones stop working
TL:DR
Fuck you Windows and fuck you game developers who don't support Linux6 -
"_rootAccess, you need to stop letting 'freelancer' beat you to the office. You set the standard."
-my boss
missing the irony that he's telling me this after showing up 30m late... -_- -
-me tries to create a website builder.
mom: Can you just stop playing videogames all the time and get a job?
-me shows her money
- mom: well fine.
Next week same loop.
im sure you are familiar with this. -
Windows is a god damn abomination of a OS. Fucking let me download that one game from the shitty developers that add EAC for no reason. Fucking stop hogging every resource and let steam work. Fucking stop crashing like wtf how is this considered stable. Stop fucking downloading updates. You amount to nothing than playing games made by cunts. There is no valuable information on this system and I have no problems nuking it all.11
-
When someone hiring you for an internship harasses you to maintain your code after the contract's duration...
Just stop treating me like a customer service and get on with your project man4 -
Optimize your fucking images. So many apps I could use but this issue has me constantly waiting to do my task.
Stop overlooking this!2 -
anytime anyone asks me to write a solution to fizzbuzz - i do it in brainfuck because even if i screw up...no one knows. :P
++++++++++[>++++++++++<-]>>++++++++++>->>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>-->+++++++[->++
++++++++<]>[->+>+>+>+<<<<]+++>>+++>>>++++++++[-<++++<++++<++++>>>]++++
+[-<++++<++++>>]>>-->++++++[->+++++++++++<]>[->+>+>+>+<<<<]+++++>>+>++
++++>++++++>++++++++[-<++++<++++<++++>>>]++++++[-<+++<+++<+++>>>]>>-->
---+[-<+]-<[+[->+]-<<->>>+>[-]++[-->++]-->+++[---++[--<++]---->>-<+>[+
+++[----<++++]--[>]++[-->++]--<]>++[--+[-<+]->>[-]+++++[---->++++]-->[
->+<]>>[.>]++[-->++]]-->+++]---+[-<+]->>-[+>>>+[-<+]->>>++++++++++<<[-
>+>-[>+>>]>[+[-<+>]>+>>]<<<<<<]>>[-]>>>++++++++++<[->-[>+>>]>[+[-<+>]>
+>>]<<<<<]>[-]>>[>++++++[-<++++++++>]<.<<+>+>[-]]<[<[->-<]++++++[->+++
+++++<]>.[-]]<<++++++[-<++++++++>]<.[-]<<[-<+>]+[-<+]->>]+[-]<<<.>>>+[
-<+]-<<] -
1, People stop forcing Node.js on me
2, Browsers actually comply with W3C and don’t publicly experiment on their own
3, Internet Explorer is pulled from all installations retroactively5 -
Please, please, please stop cornering me at the water cooler and asking me about work. This is my break.. I can answer your question in five minutes when I’m back at my desk. Thanks.4
-
STOP FORCING ME TO REIR ART YOU PIECE OF SHIT.
I've officially decided to make the change to linux. Can anyone recommend me a good distribution? Is there anything like homestead with all necessary tools already installed? Any help to get me started on using Linux as a daily driver is welcome, thanks 👌
23 -
senior dev told me yesterday - stop thinking like a manager, look at the big picture!
shouldn t it be the other way around?1 -
Stop giving me pdfs, stop giving me word documents, stop giving me paper handouts. Just give me a README with the assignment on it that I can throw into a git repo where everything else I hand back to you is going to end up anyway.
It doesn't even have to be markdown'ed to death! I mean, that's a plus, and then you could, you know, have your example code's syntax lit up properly among other things. But a text file is all I really needed!1 -
Bad: i got told that i need to stop playing overwatch @ work
Good: so they gave me a bunch of udemy courses1 -
Dear Boss/PM,
If you look over at my desk and I am 'doing nothing', feel free to assume one of the following:
1) I finished what I had to do and am taking a quick break before tackling what's next.
2) I am working on something that is giving me a hard time and am taking a quick pause to refresh.1 -
How do I get my mom to just fucking leave me alone, learn to just accept no and stop nagging about every tiny little unimportant detail and interrupting me when I'm in the middle of something?
She says is caring... I think it's more like an annoying coworker26 -
Anyone else have random channels popping up in the subscriptions tab on YouTube?
I feel like YouTube is subbing to random people for me…
Stop it.8 -
Uber is sending me a verification code every 5 minutes. I don't even have their app anymore.
Please someone tell them to stop, I feel attacked.3 -
I have a crush on my single, young manager. He sent me request on facebook recently, although he has befriended almost everyone in the office, I just can't stop thinking about him.
Please help me, give me good reasons that it's a stupid crush, I literally can't stop thinking about him.20 -
FUCKING @GREGOZOR2121 STOP FUCKING UPVOTING ME THIS MUCH... THIS IS SPAM AND COMPLETELY FUCKING ANNOYING. FUCKING IDIOT.
thanks15 -
Fucking hell. I usually really like firefox but today it was a real pain in the ass to download sth. It wold download 99% and then stop. I couldn't stop the download and the file was obviously not working. I had to switch to edge and both the design and the fast download really appealed to me. Ffs firefox!4
-
Fucking Theresa. Stop asking me if the files are transmitted. You can fucking see that. Fucking shit for brains.10
-
FUCK YOU AMAZON! Stop telling me my configuration yaml file contains a tab... THE FUCKING FILE DOES NOT EVEN EXIST!
-
To my brothers, sisters, family , friends, and anyone else it my concern stop asking me and google your fucking problems.
-
She : Bring the stars for me.
He : Are you mad? How can i even do that? Impossible, ask something else.
She : Stop writing Codes.
He : Ok, How many stars you need? -
All i want to do is write code. Give me time, space, and stop bothering me so often and I can fix the shitty outsourced code. I can do it, really. I can write a ton of resdesign docs and improve so much shit. But I can't do ANY OF IT BECAUSE THESE FUCKS ARE ALWAYS PAWNING OFF WORK ONTO ME AND REFUSING TO LET ME GET MY HANDS DIRTY.
Stop asking me to email people. Stop asking me to update documentation that isn't for my features. Stop bothering me. Stop. Fucking. Bothering. Me. All. The. Goddamn. Damn.
Stop it stop it stop it fucking stop. I don't care about the PM's dumbfuck braindead statements and always wanting to pick a fight with me. I don't care that x environment is down. I don't care that your shitty overseas programmers can't tell their own ass from their head. I do care that I have the skills to fix it if you would give me the fucking time and space.
Instead of having me do all the mundane tasks that your shitty ape programmers could do overseas, let me have some fucking room to breath and I can fix this shitty fuck of a project and Maybe I can save it before it collapses on itself you dumb fucks
Holy shit im pissy today4 -
Linux doesn't like my Asus laptop
For fuck's sake stop asking me to login again when I put in the correct password, cannot even sign in as a guest jeez
Never. Partitioning. Again.9 -
Someone gave me his code and told me to improve it and being the nice guy I am I agreed. Then while trying to work on that, a dozen other people asked me to help them with their code too, so in the end I barely got any work done.
I should stop helping people2 -
!rant Still feeling poorly, so still making commits on "fever" branches, but that doesn't stop me from making a new thing and deploying it from a fever branch! *maniacal laughter*
https://cat-icons-for-great-good.netlify.com/...8 -
We're both senior devs, I use nodeJS/Python. Stop forcing your Java *superiority* shit on me. I can write the API using either language. Also fuck your JVM. FUCK THAT SHIT4
-
"Java and C++ Spring Boot and Angular Ansible Jenkins Azure Hosting"
nice, a stack for boomers lost in the 2000s
stop it. just stop it.
"Some other tech buzzwords we use"... yeah, "typescript" and "big query" are not "tech buzzwords" they're literally the names of languages and/or tools
tell me you're an HR rube without telling me you're an HR rube
😩😩😩 <- love this one, literally called "weary face"4 -
Putting my phone away during the night so I have to actually get up to turn off the alarm was a gamechanger for me to stop hitting snooze.5
-
After working practically non-stop for the past 8 months... im going on vacation. Will you guys watch my last-night-commit for me?
3 -
I want to be productive, stop giving me this hunger and sleepy debuff.
Douche body, totally killing my flow -
My iMac is dead after reinstalling Mojave. It’s a sign from god telling me to stop coding. It’s not for me.6
-
I don't know what's wrong with me this morning. I started refactoring, and I know I'm overdoing it. I can't stop myself. I'm stuck fiddling over it like a meth head scratching his skin.
Please stop me. I'm hurting the code.2 -
DAMNIT JUPYTER. Kernel stop dying on me when I need you. I thought this was a mutual loving relationship.
-
I cant wait for edgey hipster SoDev students to start talking to me about underground git repositories that they use. Although, at least they'll stop talking to me about ML, NN, and crypto.3
-
I hate dark mode!
Stop defaulting to dark mode!
Stop making documentations into dark mode!
Browsers should stop defaulting to dark mode!
Ask me first if I want dark mode!
Don't hide the switch against dark mode!8 -
I'm the kind of person that can type without looking at the keyboard. But... I don't really know how to type, I just do it unconsciously. But when someone reminds me of the keyboard, or I think on the keyboard. I can't stop looking at it when typing. Suddenly I forget how to type. fuck fuck fuck now I can't stop looking at it.l ksajfn;laksj fpdsbaf;dsajfn4
-
Stop giving me friend suggestions every hour you useless piece of Facebook!
I can find my own friends.
There is no option to stop receiving these notifications!!4 -
project-manager : what are you doing ?
me : just having some coffee .
project-manager : stop all shit go to work .
me : ok sir . got up and went for my laptop .
my mother screamed at me and screamed "what
are you doing ?"
i then realised it all a night_mare1 -
Me: *randomly streaming myself code just because*
Friend: "So what are you doing"
Me: "I'm trying to parse a file. The specs are here - oh"
Friend: "Oh?"
Me: "I set screenshare to vs code only, so you can't see it"
Friend: "It's alright, just pass me the link"
Me: "Well, this is vs code, so I might as well check if it can display websites"
Friend: "No way you'd need that,"
>browser
* simple browser
Friend: "Please no"
"Enter url here"
Friend: "Stop!"
*loads website*
Friend: *dies of bloat*
Me: "All hail the bloat"
Friend in heaven: "Stop, your bloat will drag me down to hell"
So yeah, bloat can be useful sometimes4 -
Fuck you aws.
I forgot to stop extra ec2 and you changed 500 bucks.
Although it is my fault, still aws didn't notify me even after i had set up budget.
Fucking jeff bezos8 -
Why is it that EVERYTIME before going on vacations I am loaded with work, that production problems are sent to me and must be fixed ASAP, and that everyone needs me right away all the time. Manage your time stop sucking out mine 😤
-
Fucken clock stretching.... seriously ... if you’re gonna clock stretch me for any more than 3ms (which is still pushing it) just fucken NACK me so I know your not ready god damn.... it’s fucken i2c .... stop with the application i2c bullshit... I just want to read the fucken registers stop abstracting it put it on a god damn DMA..
clock stretching is why we can’t have nice things lol12 -
Sometimes I wish that Google would let me set a flag like -defaultProgrammingLanguage so I stop correcting it everytime it gives me something different from than target language...2
-
We have trello all set up and have been using it for ages. Stop sending me Google slide presentations for bug reports or ui improvements.
-
In 2019 I want to get better at PHP & React & stop being afraid to try & fail! I do a lot of front end work, backend still baffles me a lot. Time to get uncomfortable! 👩🏼💻🤓3
-
UGHHH XIAOMI CAN YOUR SHITTY FIRMWARE STOP NAGGING ME WITH "U NEED TO CLEAN UR PHONES STORAGE" NOTIFICATION2
-
Friend: have you ever noticed this problem X? What if we could...
Me: stop right there, I smell a kickstarter7 -
* yes, I have seen the new iPhone
* no, I'm still happy with my current one
* actually I think lots of high-end Android phones are very good too
* will you please stop talking about the sodding headphone jack you're driving me insane please stop please oh god it's happening again I did warn you but you didn't listen you wouldn't stop and now look what you made me do this is all your fault they'll never take me alive1 -
Co-worker: "You don't need to know the math! Stop going on about it."
Me: "I think you do for some things, my algebra is not good at all, I need to improve it a lot and I just think you should too."
Co-worker: "Oh stop it, If the code runs it's OK!"
Me: "Well yeah, the code runs but you're over-fitting like a mad man and have a P-value of a bejillion."
Co-worker: "What!?"
"data scientist" -
Programmer friend: Dood, do this and this and show it to me, I'll say if it's good.
Me (noob): Okay, sure.
*next week*
F: So why did you stop coding?
M: Why do you think so?
F: You didn't show me your project in a week.
M: I was lazy?
F: LAZY?!?!2 -
How can I stop colleagues from interrupting me every 5 minutes while I'm working/debugging in a polite way? I'm really annoyed, and I'm starting to become rude, but even that does not stop them.1
-
Q: Do you have an option which allows me to use spaces instead of tabs?
A: Go fuck yourself (and, stop using a plain text editor, then uploading code to Google Docs.)6 -
I just spent 3 days with 1 or 2 hour of sleep just for learning a new way to code. Not a project it just for learning. And it make me crazy i cant stop thinking about that. And now im not sleeping at all and code almost 24 hours. But i feel a lot of fun while writing a line of code. I enjoyed every sound i made with keyboard.
Im soo happy now i learned a lot of things. I dont know how to stop and i dont want to stop coding.
I dont know what im talking but thanks devrant for letting me post this shit.5 -
Hey google, stop automatically opening apps after they are updated on my android. It makes me want to kill somebody 😡6
-
I get it you don't know anything. You are not paying me to be your teacher.
Let me do my job!
At what point can we stop explaining ourselves and every little detail of the job.1 -
Developers who think spaces are better than tabs.
Seriously every editor other than Notepad lets you set how many spaces a tab is equal to. Stop trying to force your stupid 2 space tabs on me.4 -
- at night -
Laptop: I'll stop working for you!
Me: Never make decisions at night!
*laptop stops working*
- the next morning -
*laptop is working* -
Client: me wants more contrast, we git complaints much
Me: stop using thin skin assed font then
Client: Impossiburu bro!
Me:
/* Excuse me */
*{
font-weight: bold;
text-transform: capitalize;
}1 -
fuck me.
it's monday and to start in a new project I'm reading a paper my boss once wrote.
It's the worst I ever seen - stop using so much smart words and stop introducing fuckin smart math notations everywhere!!!
That fucker reads like a pretentious science lecture an my poor simple village brain doesn't like it6 -
Forget about this: https://devrant.com/rants/2136329/...
Now I Whatsapp myself with the files I want because apparently, I'm too lazy to connect the phone to my laptop :\6 -
Going for a run but still thinking about how I can refactor the code I just wrote. Can't stop thinking about it. Is it just me?4
-
Email: "Thanks for applying to this position, after you complete this technical test, please let us know via email."
Me: Dude! I didn't even apply for that position, stop spamming 😒3 -
There is no Go devDuck, and it makes me sad :(
I want my Go devDuck!
Stop the oppression of Go!
Viva la Google!4 -
Budgie up and running. Tho, I had an issue overload cpu, and stopped previews-creator. Is that even safe?
Anyways, half of my customized deepin shit doesn't work properly anymore. It's a piss off. Wondering if a downgrade would help.
If shit stops breaking for six more months, I might be able to finish uni and go back to workforce properly, where cash-cash-dollar can buy me a new laptop, or a workstation that allows me to duck around with current laptop.
Like, being a student again has been so unnerving. Won't do it ever again. (a PhD doesn't count as study 😜)2 -
I can't stop myself from making my commit messages completely sarcastic or off the wall, which never makes sense to future me.
for ex: my commit right now is
"push it real good"
This does not help me. How do I stop?
lol5 -
A recruiter contacted me asking my curriculum (sent), then he sent me some emails before calling me. After some minutes, he said I was not good for the position. But that thing was written on the first line of my cv. Maybe he is not good to read.
Please stop wasting my and your time.4 -
When your coding at the cafeteria at school...
Woah! Are you hacking? Can you hack this game for me? Stop hacking you'll get expelled.
I just sit there and agree with it all ;D -
Boy, if that colleague next to me doesn't stop tapping his foot and bopping his head, definately a good old: "shutdown /s /c "Do you know how annoying you are!?!? /f" coming his way!
-
I will stop use CTRL-C CTRL-V from now on. Or any kind of copy paste.
I will either type the stuff or write some loop around it.
C’n’P just gave me tooooooo many errors
-.-5 -
Is Floydian still here? I know he deleted his first account like 2 years ago, but then he joined again. Is his new account still existing or has it been deleted as well?5
-
I don't understand how my leads are so bad at estimating time.
"I'll message you in five minutes" = they'll message me in an hour
"Give me ten minutes" = I will sign off for two hours and not respond for another 45 the next time you see me on and message me
Seriously, stop saying things you don't mean. It's rude and insulting.3 -
Dear Windows, we have to talk. I love you, you know that, and I know that your market share has been shrinking in recent years and you're shit scared of becoming irrelevant but for the love of god:
- STOP asking me every god damn few weeks if I want to change my browser settings - NO I FUCKING DONT WANT TO USE BING, FUCK OFF
- STOP trying to be like an app and add pointless new "features" that nobody cares about and just do your fucking job, which is to be a PLATFORM which is stable, never changes and that gets out of my fucking way
- STOP reinstalling apps I uninstall, Im NOT FUCKING INTERESTED IN PAINT 3D, FUCK OFF
FUCK, ME,2 -
Disposable contacts have really helped me focus on coding rather than whipping face juice off my lenses.
But I really need to stop storing the isopropyl alcohol next to my eye drops.2 -
Reading all your rants really gets me thinking if it'd be better to stop studying and start working :/3
-
Please please stop asking me every time I present some new feature if this is something we can patent - I have no f*cking idea and you’re missing the point!2
-
Don't you guys think, developers should narrate their own life in biography books ?
Trust me my neighbours will stop asking me to fix their broken PC4 -
Ability to stop time, it would give me enough time to finish my extra projects, catch up on my sleep, and always be finished ahead of schedule.
-
Nobody can stop me from deploying an incompletely tested PHP website. If something doesn't work, blame PHP because this abomination shouldn't allow to run shitty code anyway.2
-
Today in English during our reading time I brought in my book on Python and I just started programming and my teacher didn't stop me!2
-
The SIM card saga goes on:
To verify yourself, you need to go to some postal office and show them your ID and stuff. Not that this is complicated or anything (well actually, it is. Welcome to 2018 in Germany. We use more papers than potheads for the simplest shit), but you need to have a valid ID. Valid as in NOT EXPIRED. What the fuck. Why does my ID expire. Do I stop existing 3 years after getting it? What does it mean if it is, why is it culpable to have your ID expired. And who gets charged for having none, I mean obviously my ID doesn't identify me anymore?
What the hell man. I don't exist for 6 months now. Am I law free as not identifiable entity or how does it work?
And now the real question:
We got something called Bafög in Germany. Basically you get a bit money while studying. (I still work tho, I don't get really much from it.)
To apply for it, you need some tax number, which seemingly can be seen as a proof of my existence and my identity.
Why is this enough, why don't I need a valid ID there?
Germany is weird man. On the one hand government is all social and you get help if you need it but on the other hand you need to sacrifice 17 virigins to apply for said help..2 -
The first colleague who was happy to talk FOR HOURS about topics seen as small/irrelevant/would you stop you annoy me/gtfo.
Some heroes don't wear caps! -
For once in your freaking life can you please shut up and stop acting like you know everything and listen to me !7
-
1. Give me more knowledge
2. Give me some nice colleagues that have a clue on what tbey are doing
3. STOP MAKING MY CLIENTS SUCH BIG MORONS -
Well studying for it made me stop working fulltime (in a cs field), so for my bank account it's not useful at all. And for myself, it feels a bit like a waste of time.1
-
Could someone tell their mother to stop calling me?
They keep calling from (323) 420-6969.
It was a one time thing, I was drunk, I don't want to repeat that. Please leave me alone!2 -
stupid stomach why cant you handle a little coffee huh like seriously bro. i need coffee to not be a zombie all day, please my dear stomach bro stop hurting me cause you are hurting us......8
-
"If it wasn't for this glaring error, this other guy's method would be perfect, not this simple fucking thing you gave me that I can't get to work because binary operations scare me"
I might just stop helping this person. -
Has it ever happened to you that you do not want to program any more?
It is frustrating... Sometimes I would like to start an idea but then .. nothing, stopped.
How do you solve this kind of situation?
It's not only about work, but I mean also in the freetime where you Can develop your idea or your expirement5 -
U see me with massive headphones on and i am not making any eye contact. That means something guess what it is ;) But u start talking anyway hoping me to stop whatever i am doing and get on to your thing. Life sucks.
-
Organizing some documentation and variables & constants on a uni project I'm doing. Eclipse stop "\n"ing every time I switch things around damn it. It's almost 3am leave me be >:V
-
Search for How to stop Apple ID Verification pop up. Find relevant and possibly credible result from discussions.apple.com:
How do I stop the constant pop up on my iPad for APPLE ID VERIFICATION, posted in 2016.
Last post from OP: Did you ever find a solution to this problem? This Apple ID Verification request is driving me crazy.
83 Users: Me too.
Apple:
Looks like no one’s replied in a while. To start the conversation again, simply ask a new question.1 -
When I say I'm working on an important update to the application, what I mean is "go away and stop bothering me, right now, or I will cock-punch you, right now."
-
!Deno
Being now able to write import 'npm:<name>' and it just working is quite hilarious, not having to use nodejs but still using the projects built on it .. wwwwww25 -
These people I'm working with won't stop arguing. If it weren't for a teacher staring me down, I'd say this:
"Shut the FUCK up for FIVE SECONDS. 90% of the shit you people say is STARTING AN ARGUMENT.
HEY, DICKHEADS! HERE'S A TIP: STOP BEING SO UPTIGHT AND ACTUALLY LISTEN TO IDEAS, CONSIDER OTHERS OPINIONS, AND TRY *WORKING TOGETHER.*
I'M SURROUNDED BY *IDIOTS*." -
I'm gonna do it, no one can stop me! I will do it now, I will create yet another file format using YAML for Biblical software!!2
-
Finally my laptop is back and it's keyboard problem, thanks for official repair stop. Other two unofficial repair stops told me it's main board problem, FUXK THEM.
-
Here's the US Patent details of the AmazonGo and stop asking me how it works!
https://google.com/patents/... -
If I was a docker image I could spin off another version of myself, but right now I can't. So stop f@&$ck triple book me for meeting and let me code.
-
It's probably best that I stop looking at my coding bootcamp's Slack group. "I got hired at (insert famous startup name)!" or "First day at (insert famous tech company name)!" It just messes with me.
-
"Get out of the weeds" they tell me.
I try and then every.single.project.goes.red.
Maybe I should just do and stop trying to manage.2 -
The fact that pandas has a function called .isnull() to find nans, but the function to get rid of them is called .dropna(), will never stop bothering me.1
-
Why peoples tell me I can't work in few fields ?! After spending x years in fullstack web, I'll certainly get bored of this ... So, working in another field which is interesting could light the fire inside me !
I do a IT engineering school for this dream !!!!
STOP TRYING TO STOP ME !!!!1 -
> me when angry
" what the fuck you stupid dev stop doing crappy shit"
> me when trying to do stuff
#!/bin/bash set -e
echo "no please"
exit 0
I should stop blaming devs for doing crappy stuff -
I got in love with an office chair but it is very expensive and I need someone to tell me stuff so I stop feeling insecure about purchasing it.6
-
It seems dat the only growing career profile in bigdata domain is of BIGDATA trainer.
P.S. I don't need ny training. So stop mailing me. -
I want to stop drinking coffee but everywhere i look there is always wallpapers and cups and shirts telling me that this is our fuel reminding me about it and i always wonder if it will be possible for me to stop drinking it. I want to stop drinking it because i just can't control myself and i drink it all day while i'm at work and at the time i arrive home my stomach hurts. Every night i think "tomorrow i wont be drinking a single cup" and then here i am ranting about it.1
-
Now I can officially say that SSI injection keeps me up at night, because I can't seem to stop thinking of it.
-
docusign signs sucks
adobe mobile sign app wount login from my app
google docs cant sign imported pdf's
wtf 😅 is everyone trying to stop me from working. i don't want to print sign and scan -
Google can you please stop sending me traffic updates everytime I am driving! Its creeping me out and is unsave anway!2
-
My family was super chill about it. My dad just does his best to let me know I need to stop talking when I start talking "over his head".
-
Visual Studio can stop being a fucking asshole and stop tabbing my code around for me, you piece of shit.
I have an @if statement in a razor page in a <script> tag
Indented is a <text> tag so it'll accept javascript
Indented in that is my javascript . . . that it keeps trying to "fix"
Swear to christ this autoformat is more infuriating than helpful.1 -
Tmw you look at something and instantly get a new project idea.
This is why I have so many unfinished projects. -
GitHub: "This branch has conflicts that must be resolved" stop bugging me with your @dependabot bullshit!
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