*food comes in at work today*
Fellow engineer: yum yum yum!
Me: apt apt apt!
All engineers: 😑

😅

When the new employee shows up with new ideas and is all excited to work there.

When you are the one who does all the work in a group project.

* Finishing up my English NLP for my App *

Me: Finally it’s ready. Now my app can understand everything that the users say.

* I get my first millennial user *

My App: Hello there! Would you like to ask me a question?

User: yesn’t

My App: * crashes *

I work remotely. This means that sometimes I work with no pants on.

...ok I work with no pants on all the time.

So,

I bagged the job! All of that hard work paid off!

Have you ever...

Had...

To work with..

Someone .

Who pauses all...

The time..

When they...

Talk?

It's alive!

That moment when the manager takes all the credit for your work

I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown due to all the pressure at work, and my boss sat me down one day and said "Don't take it so personally, it's only work".
He explained that you simply cannot make all the people happy all the time, you can only do your best, and that is good enough.

All my unit tests work, all my component tests work, why the FUCK does it give me a 'Verification Failed' error?

1 hour later:
Oh wait this is the wrong public key

When you come to work destroyed by all years worked in same place, but first - tea

those people who take all the credit for your work!

Corporate proxies that block resources web developers can't work without are the worst, preventing npm and composer from working at all. Easier to work from home than at work.

FML. All those "train your own object detection" articles can go burn in hell. Not even TFs pertained models work!

Today I got told to stop using a repo and work directly from the FTP server.

Today sucked. That is all

starts weekend with full mood to work on personal project.
End up watching youtube videos all day long.

So today the Manager told my coworker that "going to the toilet" is an excuse. We all work from home, "eating", "shiting", and anything other than work is considered excuses.

What in the bloody fuckery fuck is this?

Me seeing all positive things people say about their work in #wk62.

Me: the websites now works on all devices.
Client: now make it work on IE6.
*1 week later*
Me: the site now works on IE6 too.
Client: awesome, now make it work on Netscape navigator 5

- I work at HP
- It's okay, we're all degenerates here

We all have that kind of friend who is losing his shit , screaming , swearing , crying , whenever the code doesn't work as planned.

This is how front-end devs work to support all browser's

I work for a company that is 100% remote. Slack just went down. We're doomed, on Halloween of all days.

'Work' in the 'work from home' is a myth. All I could do is sleep.

“How can you work a job that makes you be on a computer all day??”
-someone who spends all day on their computer and phone anyway

2007
Works in all browsers, except IE. Rewrite JavaScript to work in IE.

2017
Same but replace IE with Edge.

My work recently blocked all social media connections on their network.

On the plus side, they missed devRant 😄

So IT just blocked all web browsers at work apart from internet explorer.....

I have been using it for 2 hours and I think I'm about ready to end it all....

Holy cow 😯

DevRant web app got updated.

😥 Must resist to spend time on social media. Must resist 😑

NEVER PUBLISH INTO PRODUCTION ON A FRIDAY AFTERNOON
...
unless you want to work all weekend!

All I need for a good work day

Hearing from friends and some family... "You don't really work. You just sit in front of a computer all day."

When you forgot about your deadline and making all work in last minutes

All alone at work today. I'm glad I have Wilson to motivate me.

Thanks to all the sys admins and devs keeping the internet up and running through the holidays. It's a crazy time of year and I'm sure it only means more work for a lot of you at an already stressful time. So thanks again for being the glue holding it all together; we really appreciate your work 🍻

When you see this notif and realise that all the crap you put up with in work has been worth it... 😜

My manager is so cool at work that he doesn't care if I sleep during office hours or even skip working for a couple of days as long as I meet the deadlines. All he cares about is getting the work done and keeping his team happy.
I abso-frigging-lutely respect him very much and like him as a person.
Unlike my friends' managers in other departments, he wouldn't assign me more work if I finished a project before the deadline.
I wish all the managers in all the companies realise work-life balance is important and act like him.

You're doing all the hard work, boss thanks the other person

😑

Me: Why are all the devs leaving work early!?

Other devs: Microsoft Services are down.

Me: Okay I'll start packing.

"The best way to find any and all errors is to publish your work." - Dan Vore

That moment when you realise you sit in front of a computer all day at work to afford sitting in front of a computer all night at home.

Leaving for work before finding the source of a bug is the worst kind of stress. All I thought about the entire time I was at work 😭

Want to work on a pet project, but gf demands all of my time. So, I work at nights. Then I get bitched at why I'm always tired and don't want to do anything -.-

Blehh
I just cannot stop falling asleep today.

Fortunately I finished all of my important work last week, so all I have left is trivialities. But I would still prefer being awake and chipper!

sometimes i leave work and cant really pinpoint exactly what i have accomplished, due to all kinds of non-coding tasks :(

To the people talking about boats on the other side of the cubical wall, FUCK YOU! YOU HAVE BEEN TALKING FOR 45 MINUTES! DO YOU WORK? I HOPE YOUR BOATS ALL GET RUST. I worked 12 hours on Sunday, got 4 hours of sleep, pulling a full day, then depending on how much work I get done work all night again. RESPECT MY QUIET ZONE!!! Uncouth peasants!

Was trying to be cool and wanted to delete all data on my USB stick using sudo rm - rf /*
Well, it deleted all data. But on my primary drive. So I ended up loosing all my work progress.

Who all got 3+ screens at work? 🙌🏼

Presented without comment.

I was sending an email ranting about how bad work was and then I hit reply all FML

I hate it when I burn out and don't want to work for few days at all...

I work with absolute 🤡🤡🤡s.

That is all.

"Just paste all this shit in and it should work"

-- regards, Medium article.

Tutorials w examples that don't even work. Would run into these all the time back in my Flash days, so frustrating.

When your friend do all the work and you're just sit beside him commenting on the UI like a fashion critic.

I feel like a man out of time and space.
I can work from anywhere so I am nowhere.
I work all the time, and I have no time to work.
Hours, days, and weeks. They all feel the same. The gentle barrier of sleep that denotes when one day ends and another begins is barely remembered if observed at all.

What the fuck did I sign up for.

Roommate: Filter it, would you please? (* Was talking about the tea*).

Me: Alright buddy, say no more. (*Names the signal that I was working on as "Tea".*)

(*Got the filtered output 😎*)

merry crisis everyone, i wish you all a very don't have to work tomorrow like me

I hate being on call when all directors and c-suite are unable to work because their systems went down.

At least they trust me and let me work. It's just stressful.

I would like to share my gum collection at work. I like chewing something. I bought all of these though. We dont have free food in our work.

F**king kaspersky found "malware" in development tools. Got scared clicked "disinfect"... F**king all days work "disinfected" from my project

Fuck all people that take credit for other peoples work.

Fuck em hard

;/

All my work, gone.All my efforts my sleepless nights 😭😭😭

Just can't be fucked with work today.

That is all.

!rant

I've been struggling for the past year with:

Dev work
Ops work
"Management" work

This last month I made a decision, I don't give a fuck anymore and just gonna do my dev work which is the one I'm paid to do.

Never been better. Its healthy whem you let all those fucks go away :)

Someone at work snuck something past the censors.

Our Hadoop servers all have "bigd" in their name 😂

So many meetings that we have pre-meeting meetings.
Tomorrow is the best meeting of all - the show and tell, where we can say we spent all sprint in meetings and did no actual work.

When you didn't do anything at work all day, but you need to think of a lie for tomorrow's stand up meeting.

I work at the technology center of my school meaning I get calls if anyone has any tech issues. our school just changed all its computer to all-in-one computers. the day after I get a call from an instructor saying all the computers are missing.

Sitting at work listening to music, doing absolutely fuck all right now because I ain't got no tickets! All the mfers need to answer me before I can work on their stuff.

Sounds great, no?

It's not. It's hell being unable to do work for me. I need to busy myself with doing random shit so I don't go insane.

Mhh, coffee...

Oh, by the way, Sir Jav'alot is still around too.

Today, I had an interview with a development company that they request all developers to wear suits for work! From 10 to 7 o'clock, and no stable income salary, they work based on projects LOL!

I work slow and my work is delayed all because you keep on changing the design and the UX, adding more features and yet keeping the same deadline

I did all the work because the software we had to use didn't work on the other one's computer.

From Pentium 3 to i7
Couldn't have been happier seeing all of they work perfectly even now

Sunday night. Work tomorrow. And all I want to do is work on my side projects all night long....

As DevOps it’s my duty to make sure these excuses no longer exist. Software should just work everywhere all the time

In highschool an advisor told me not to go into computer science because "they do all that work in China now"

When you have tons of of work to do but all you can think about is a cool personal project...

Germans get made fun of for being focused on work and not wanting to have fun (at work).

But it's exactly what I like about them. I would join and work at a German company in a split second.

Fuck all the small talks and fun Fridays, let's just get the work done, get paid and go home and have fun at home.

Few weeks passed, and I as a freelancer without job all I did was seek for one and couldn't find anything.

Now I'm overwhelmed with all the work and interviews I got in the past weeks xD

Never balanced...
No work at all, or too much work.

Why is it that no one asks me for anything all day until 3 mins before I'm supposed to leave work?

Makes a joke about my work laptop im getting that we should all invest in some game development so we need some new laptops (we develop prototype apps to validate ideas for startups and i never work on proper projects). I get to work and see this.. Omw im so happy..

We all know French people are known for their strikes and throwing down work.. but windows 3.1 still running at Orly airport? Do people even work?

God, please send me a designer GF. So we can work all night and make money. Thanks.

I'd love to just work on GPL software all day, filling gaps in the free software world.

Peer pressure is using VSCode for work because all of your colleagues uses it.

FINALLY after 48 hours coding. 1000 lines of algorythms ....

Managed to sync video playback on 30 Machines, didnt go to work "sick".

All this for a side project.
Doesnt possibly work they said....

Do you ever get anxious and do some work to calm down but then you forget about time and stay up until 6am finishing two features which were due in a month?

Just graduated with a CS degree and starting work soon. I can't wait to rage with you all.

all other pleasures seem to pale in comparison to the thrill of watching your code work as intended

Hmm..... Do I have time before work tomorrow to watch all 3 matrix movies?

Screw it who cares. Marathon time!!!

"you got all that done in a day?"

that's what happens when you work *with* your framework instead of against it

I could start a cinematic universe with all the clowns I work with. The CCU. I'd probably get sued by @fullstackclown

Just remembered that I forgot to push all day's work..
Now my scumbag brain is going to keep me awake all night thinking about all the shit that can go wrong...
Great

When a Client is supposed to send you sponsor icons for the new website and all you get is a single PDF file containing all of them. Why ??!! This is even more work to do for them ???!!!

Fucking long week at work.. but its not all bad. Facebook stock tanking makes up for it. Bahaha fuck em

Starts PHP development team which will deploy on Debian... all developers must work on Windows :/

Shit. I just realized that I do all of this. D:

Not rant at all, just thought you people could use a laugh after a day full of work ;)

It's same for all developersnwho work day and night

They want to host and test our work. All they're hosting tonight is 500s.

All week I was too tired to work on my projects in the nights.

Now it's weekend and I'm still tired.

I want to improve my workflow by perpetually ignoring all meetings and emails. Just let me work!

Sometimes I don't know if it's me or the IDE does all the work 😉

And for my next trick I close my ide and still think about work stuff all the time -_-

I COULDNT GET THE WIFI TO WORK, THAT WAS ALL, AND NOW THIS SHIT fuck it all I'm going to bed then waking up and switching to an Outdoor Leadership degree.

The biggest challenge I face at work is having to sit in one place and work all day. Office feels like a prison. I miss working from home.

Multiple all-nighters (all day every day):

1) Working, studying and developing an Android game as pet project. Last few weeks before release (yup, I've set a deadline for a pet project) my day consisted of uni, work, more work and 4-5h sleep.

2) Having worked on my thesis (Development of a CPU/SoC + Firmware + Linux kernel) and actual paid work. In parallel. Because, you know, I need to eat and pay rent and shit while I'm writing the thesis. And debts at that moment were not an option (still made some). All-day all-night all-week. After submitting the thesis I went to the doc and enjoyed 2 weeks of doing nothing.

3) Sometimes on my main open-source project after regular work hours. If I have the motivation and ideas that I want to check out or prove it gets late/early too fast.

I get anxiety when I have no work for days,

I am like the fuck is wrong with you body. You’re suppose to be chill, not a monster that wants to work all the time.

I have a more than average paying job. Cool manager who is okay with almost anything I do .The work place and colleagues are awesome but I'm not getting any work. My title says SE but all I do at work is play. Should I leave this place or stay and work on my side projects?

When, for the 100th time, you see the git commit comment:
"All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy"

FINALLY, all my dreams have come true, now I can totally say I don't really miss Linux all that much (although I work with Linux all the time, as all my VMs are on Ubuntu).

Obviously, Microsoft has a port of the ssh client and server on windows.

"have some tool that does all the work for you." - yeah, but they prefer to be called employees.

Pressure that wasn't there.

I thought there was work pressure, but it was all in my mind.

I'm coding well, getting better everyday.

When you're wondering where all your work went and realize the IDE stashed it because you forgot to commit before merging/changing branches.

Hereby I congratulate all of you with the end of work week.

Cheers 🍻

When you change one line of your source code and all of the rest of code don't work any more. Fucking Shit!

Anyone else have the issue where you have to pretty much do nothing all day as there isn't any work ?

I work remote. Sod all.

Work upgraded to YouTrack 2018.3.... dark theme all day baby 😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎

Wearing headphones all the time and deliberately ignore everything what's being said & is happening in the office unless it affects my work

Battling though multiple health issues, was not able to concentrate on work at all for last 3 months .

But still got a good evaluation and salary bump. I feel like I didn’t deserve it at all

There are so many things in head, just want to be healthy again so I can work at my 100%

I distinctly remember all of us discussing how we prefer to work at night. I worked through the night and now about to work through the day. Now it's all a blur and I feel numb inside. This voice keeps saying "you are just a machine" and then I wake up with qwerty stamped on my forehead and the music bringing me back. Time to work!

Took company's laptop to vacations, because it's lighter then may gaming laptop rig.

VPN works seemlessly, all my intranet work is accessible even away from the country >.<

I guess I'm a bit of a work junkie / bitch ?

I need to memorize my work number once and for all.

Fuck CORS.
Three hours into trying to make it fucking work... YES BROWSER I ALLOWED ALL ORIGINS WHY DONT YOU WORK 😭😭

When you find out all of your new fellow web devs are all from boot camps, and you spend more time teaching them than getting your work done. New job time maybe?

How do you all figure out what personal projects to work on? I'm in a slump thinking of ideas..

Dang it all to hestia. I was feeling lower and lower then I realized I wasn't exercising like at all. So I got to my walks again at work and went to gym after work. I feel like a million bucks!

Nothing is worse than doing all the hard work and thoughts, while people just think you’re over exaggerating the problem...

Wrote some code. Didn't work.
Cleared all build caches, deleted project files and re-opened the project from scratch. Code still doesn't work.
Copied the same code over to a new project. Works.
I FUCKING HATE DAYS LIKE THESE!!!

You fucking piece of shit, how do I get you to work, I literally installed all libraries, 7-zip, everything, fucking work already

Happy Holidays Everyone 😘. Hugs & Kisses to all of you this season. No work allowed - treat yourself.

I want you all to work on a new project

Me all the time I work in Drupal.

Well, not all people close chrome tabs after work, some close Firefox tabs too. You damn browserists.

Holy fucking shit are email clients bullshit.
I don't know what happened there but if you thought the chrome-firefox-ie-egde gaps back in the days were sick - let me tell you.. email clients are made by the devil himself. All of them. All of them? Yup. Because he made some of them being owned by apple, working beatuiful and no weird stuff.
But on the same end he made some of them owned by microsoft and their office Studios. They use the word engine to render html emails. Read this again. Read it without starting to cry in agony.
But thats not enough. Let's make some of them use an ie-engine and the mac os variants going to use some webkit based renderer. This way there will be no valid ruleset to make it look good on all of them, isn't this great??
Now this might be hell already. But lets pour more salt into these wide opened wounds.
Let there be Germany and United Internet, owning trash like Web.de and GMX, whose android clients going to work completely different across Android and app-versions!
Once you've mastered these, let me introduce you to gmail. Lets take only the body node of your email and do some fuck up with it, so you have to display a non-responsive variant on mobile.
Now you might be thinking "but there are web-based clients, they'll do good ain't they?" Long story short: fuck you.
Not enough.
Let's go back to ms.
Hey dude lets make it possible to scale up your whole system. So old people can read shit better. And now the funny part: let's make it so that the word rendering engine, rendering emails goes completely mayhem on your mail, so it looks like a completely different thing! (:

If you ever receive a newsletter in your inbox and that shit looks like it's planned to look like.. appreciate that shit. Sacrifice a virgin as thanksgiving for it.

TL;DR:
E-Mail needs to die. I'm doing this for over 2 years now and this shit needs to stop asap.

"Advertising is the one industry where all the experts seem to be the people who don’t work in it." - William Childs

Just merge this pull request in production and all service gonna work fine, trust me :D

The ++ and -- buttons here at DevRant do not work in swift at all. Damn!!

I have played different roles on different companies and all my mother says to people is that I 'work with computers', same for friends that work on manufacturing or as sales engineers. It really pissed me off.

I always want to work on a bazillion side-projects but don't have enough time because college, work, etc. Now that I have all the time in the world to work on side-projects I have zero motivation and just waste my time on YouTube.

This sucks.

Why printer services is stuck in time?

The windows printer spooler is old like my grandma. He fuck all the time but nobody wants to recode it ? I need to search for old driver a day long to make it fucking work at 10%

On linux generic printer driver do the job but cannot do all the things you want

Why is so fucking complicated all the time ? ( Don't think that scanner work you don't have de correct driver )

Solutions printer share the code for how de fuck i work ?

started on the new job today, and to be honest I'm a little depressed about the technology we make.
i have this class in college about the history of technology and my professor called technology "the science of productive work". is that all there is? make tools so people can work more? is that all there is to life? it's fucked up if you think about it at all

When you spend 3 days on Xamarins shitty ServicePointManager for HttpClients and final get it to work on all devices

To all you dev-ops people, y'all are doing God's work. Thanks from this dev.

When you find a fix that is consistent and covers all edge cases, then your teammate writes two different work arounds .

I pushed all my work to Friday
And I (git) pushed all my work on Friday

😂

You're working on a project, your boss has set you tasks to complete. You complete all the tasks and make pull requests of all the work you've done. Your boss is busy and you don't know what to do next? What do you do? Is it unethical to work on personal projects in work hours, because you're not being paid for that? How do you find other stuff to do?

It is Friday, time to finish all your work.. but the boss just left... lets drink instead!

Make sure your work is nr1 priority
(You all know how to count as a developer)

This Moment when you get this screen. And when you restart, your fckn work is all removed because it didnt save correctly... -.-

I don't still understand why I leave work with an unsolved bug, when all I'll eventually do is think about it!

"Advertising is the one industry where all the experts seem to be the people who don’t work in it." - William Childs

The good parts of being a game developer: watched E3 all week. Now back to work...

First time I've been out all spring or is it summer 😬 been coding my life away

It's nice outside!

Back to work

I just noticed a five hour old mail on my work laptop. The notification was BEHIND all windows!

Play games all day long until you miss your work.

@all freelancers

How did you get your first work, I am struggling from a month to get one.

Amy suggestions??

when all you want to do is work on your bash script but your wrist pain keeps distracting you...

Stack Overflow was bought the other day and today it already does not work at all! Yeah!

When you used ALL time for refactoring and there is no more time left for much needed work

Am I the only one spending like 70% of my work-time tweeting and the remaining 30% coding like crazy at super fast speed?

And still make it all work super properly :D

!rant

How do you guys deal with tiredness? I mean, holy shit, I feel so fucking tired all the time that it's starting to affect me at my work! Is it because I'm in school while I work? Is it because I don't get enough sleep? All I want is this FUCKING TIREDNESS TO GO THE FUCK AWAY, HOLY SHIT!

Spending all morning working on personal projects cause the work your boss gives you is bullshit lol

Who all are in NYC? Let's catch up someday after work! What about devRant meetup?

All code and no tests makes a software buggy, hard to maintain and a pain in the ass to work with.

Best feeling I've felt all week: Even though I don't have time today to install it, I got Wi-Fi on the minimal install ISO of Gentoo to work with almost no configuration. My shitty ass dongles actually work???

It's 1:15 AM and I just got gome from work after 16 hours working on some really difficult mission critical things and deploying.
I think it's 16 hrs, my mind doesn't really work anymore. Good thing I drove home safe...

Fuck fuckin fuck ran rm on wrong directory all day’s work is gone……….

Why are the requirements changed at the end of the day and make the developers work all night. I am not your goat.

I am so ANXIOUS!! CAN'T WORK AT ALL!! SOMEONE SAVE ME PLEASE!!

As a dev (all kind of dev ) what is something you struggle with in a work environment? Or at home?

What you guys do at work when you are not busy (at all)?

Fuck this job !! i prefer to sleep all day long than go to work and hear my boss' annoying voice .

To all the freelancers, are you able to wake up in the early cold morning to work? i find it really difficult

Does it bother you when a co-worker keeps talking on phone all day long and it's not work related? It bothers me.

We have all run the same code although it didn't work the first time. And it never worked the second.😂😂

Does anyone actually fucking know how certs and provisioning profiles work for large iOS teams without using the cancerous auto provision checkbox? Are we all just fucking it up all the time??

That moment when you start your day reading an email from work and it sucks all your energy out...

I'm in the ER being held overnight. Buy I still cannot stop stressing about the work I missed today. As well as all the work that needs done by Monday. Why can't I ignore work even while an the hospital

!rant
In the past 2 days I worked a lot, now I slept 12 hours straight. I don't have any tickets left, and the manager told me to have fun. I haven't felt such freedom in a while.
(The project will be late by a year in February, so until now I always had at least 2 urgent tickets related to topics that I've never heard of before.)

When you first start programming:
"I know how all of these functions work, now what can I actually use that for?.."

Work: yeah we just all use the prod credentials for s3. Just use the dev bucket.

Me: ummmmm..............

I really hate to have all this visual studio versions for modify the products of my work.

I suppose I'm lucky.. My family, though not exceedingly tech savvy, are all very proud of me, and support my line of work.

After work... BEER!

(That is all!)

- Understand programming and how the software work... then choose whatever programming language to build it, it is just Scripting after all.

Just those days when there's no work and then there's a flood of work. And all high priority. Can't understand how the fuck they always end up like this.

Great my team just got dumped with all the other teams messes and incomplete work! Great sprint planning guys.

My work life is cool right now and I have nothing to rant about 😠but I read you all the time

Going back to work today after a weeklong vacation. Motivation is at an all time low.

An interns excuse to not do work, "I'm a Java developer, not objc" are you really even a Dev at all smart ass?

I'd love to work for NASA or Space X and be one of the first to colonize mars. Should that not work out, I also really want to work for Google and do some freelance work on the side maybe. And all of that is only true if by then I haven't created the next big tech thing.

when you want to keep the code clean, but you are about to say "fuck it" it needs to work that is all....

When all your work is due, and you're busy as all get out.... And there's /literally/ a fire drill 😡

We had a meeting where all the devs on a large sprint team were told they must attend late that evening. The gist of that meeting was 'well done your all working hard and done some good work but we have over committed so work harder!" but they took an hour and a half to make the point.

The struggle continuous... should I work on my personal website or just PlayStation all night long?

Mom: I type weird characters called commands all day to make computers work.

Dad: I program/code

at your workplace, do you get to work on different languages or do you all stick to just one language?

is there anything wrong with being jack of all trades?

Started work on a language interpreter and all is going well, until I realise I still need to implement a way of reading and executing code blocks and work out if statements... Ah fuck...

Next month I am going to work as a tester(1rst work in IT), have no expiriance at all.
I would like to prepare, but what should I prepare for, what should I learn/repeat/exersice?
Thx

I work on my high school's tech team but all we do is hardware replacement work which I've been doing since I know how to read disassembly instructions. (I was a bored destructive kid)

I thought I was going to enjoy work and learn. Now all I do is work with immature children who know nothing and learn programming on my own when we don't have parts in

Also attempt to educate my 'coworkers' when we do have software issues I know about

!rant
Just deployed some changes to production. Gotta logout all of work accounts🏃‍♂️

that moment when you can’t figure out to make a certain functionality work, and after a bit of research you find out that you’ve been doing this all wrong so you delete all of the code and start all over again.