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Pro tip: If you are a junior, or senior but new at the company, don't start your conversations with:
"We're doing X wrong. At my previous company we did / at school I learned /in this book I read / according to this talk I watched, the right way to do X is ..."
Instead try:
"I'm curious why were doing X this way. I'm used to doing it differently."
I love flat-hierarchy teams, and people who think about flaws in procedures and proactively try to improve the tools we use are awesome, but the next kid walking up to me yelling we use git flow "wrong" will be smacked in the face with a keyboard.
If you come to me with curiosity and an open mind, I'll explain, and even return the favor by behaving the same way when I'm baffled by your seemingly retarded implementations.
Maybe we can learn from each other, maybe discover that "how I learned it" is sometimes good, sometimes bad.
But let's start with some social skills, not kicking off into every debate with a stretched leg and a red face.23 -
I usually don't post such things, but the Flat Earth Society just replied to @iamdevloper on Twitter!
What a legend haha
11 -
Meeting with smooth suit guy:
"So, our company has pivoted"
I hate everything about this guy, not having slept well at all, I fucking snapped:
"Pivoted? Oh wow, what a wonderfully refined word to describe that your asinine business model smacked flat into the mud, that your obtuse bubble of vague ideas popped and your childish dreams of piles of undeserved gold got caught up by the hard reality that your product does not add any tangible value -- yet you tricked your sheepish retarded investors once again to fall for a new hype-filled pitch deck? Congratulations. At least you probably snort enough coke to keep believing in yourself..."
The guy nervously wiped his nose, stuttered, and walked off looking angry and a little confused.
So it turns out, my boss is apparently the major "sheepish retarded investor" in this company.
Today I got a mail from him. I expected fire and fury, nuclear ICBMs crashing into my desk.
"Thanks for your feedback, this is why I invite you to meetings. Could you take a look at their new pitch slides and preliminary API docs for me?"15 -
Mathematician girl invites me to code some lines.
I arrive at her flat and she was alone so some part of me thought ehem. Anyway i took a look at the program first.
Me: so... it's a date?
Her: no im using cosmic radiation.
Me: huh?
Her: yeah accessing a value from a sensor gives a..
(Apparently she thought i was asking about the Random Function she was using, which usually uses the date)24 -
A "support" guy my boss got in. I had told my boss numerous times, "Get rid of this guy, he's only wasting our time and money. And he's going to end up doing something where we will end up having to put out the fires."
Sure as a pair of nuts on a squirrel, this crazy bastard goes and DELETES a client's database. Yes folks, in fucking production. A live database. The heart of the business' transactions are... *poof*... GONE!!!
No backups for the day! No synchronisation beforehand! No nothing... just GONE!!! Fucking flat-lining!
Well, when I realised what he has done, I had to remove myself from the room before shit got outta hand!
I told the boss man that is the last straw and he needs to go...
The long and short of it...
- The client had luckily only lost about half a days data.
- I'm no longer at the company.
- This dumb fuck still is.
18 -
So my landlord just came up and asked why I'm using so much bandwidth (they've just had a new line installed so they're monitoring it like hell for some reason) so we had a chat, I told him I'm a Web Developer so I'm uploading and downloading a load, and bare in mind this is student housing, he offered to install a wired connection in my flat only so I'll have a decent and stable connection when all the other students come back in September.
This is the first time in my life I feel like I'm not paying enough rent!7 -
Tried to impress the boss with my work ethic by staying late to install a new VoIP system. Wasn’t even part of my job description. A few days later I had a flat tire on the way to work. It took me a couple hours to get that taken care of. When I got to work, the boss told me I had to work 2 extra hours that week to make it up. I reminded him that I had worked overtime recently to install his new phone system. He said, “Doesn’t matter. You still need to make up the hours.”
From that moment on I never worked one second more for him than I had to. I quit less than a year into the job.13 -
I was an intern - as a high school student. They had no idea what to do with an intern, let alone a high school student that was only there around three hours a day.
They tried to saddle me with a massive "how to use Perforce" manual, but I flat refused and told them to give me some real work.
In the end I wound up writing a text parser in Python to get some specific info from some files. They decided it wasn't actually needed after I finished it (I don't think they expected me to), on my last week there. I just played solitaire the rest of the time. I learned a few things:
1. I never want to work at Adtran.
2. Perforce should die in a fire.
3. Experience != Expertise.
4. Don't be afraid to put yourself on the line if it means potentially accomplishing something.3 -
Dude, FUCK automated bathrooms.
First of all, what the hell is so complicated about making a motion sensing faucet that works? Why does it *need* to be motion sensing? I stand there for 5-10 seconds with my stupid soapy hands extended, waiting for a squirt of the divine liquid.
And then the immediately following experience isn't much better. Motion sensing paper towel dispenser. The first go works fine, but it always dispenses half of what you need to get your grimy paws dry. So you go in for seconds, and it just flat out ignores you. Leaves you on read. You flap your pathetic noodle arms at it again. It isn't happening. Please wait 3-5 business days.
Oh, and god forbid you forget to cover the automatic toilet with a few wasted squares. Lean into a shit ONCE and you've just been prematurely flushed. Your ass is misted with the cold, unforgiving equivalent of an automatic insult.
Asshole design12 -
Lost the password to the main modem/router of our apartment (live in a normal flat of which the rooms are rented out to three students and me) which is in my room and tried to reset the fucker for a trillion times but couldn't get back in, the password didn't reset.
Took a closer look at the reset button and suddenly noticed some text under it saying "wireless connect". Then I noticed a tiny round "hole" above the reset text.
Fuck my sideways, I've been pressing the "wireless connect" button instead of the actual reset one every goddamn time 😐
I can now port forward again 😊6 -
Job offer:
"There is no hierarchy within this company."
Bullshit.
Given a group of people, a hierarchy will emerge. In any company, a hierarchy will emerge. Even within a team a hierarchy will emerge.
Some people like to butt heads, some people like to go with the flow. It's how you deal with these personalities that matters.
You can try to be as fancy you want and declare your hierarchy to be as flat as a pancake, yet the reality is: there will be one.
Certain people will be trusted more by other people. Certain people will have more power in the decision making process.
Can we please stop deluding ourselves that this is not the case?
And that is not necessarily a bad thing. It only becomes bad if the company culture sucks. Instead of platitudes in regards to the assumed absence of hierarchy, I would be more interested to know how a company deals with its hierarchy.
How is feedback handled? How do people argue? How are decisions made, challenged and implemented?
That's what I would find much more interesting.14 -
Today is deadline day. So my Project lead decided to remove a key column because "it wasn't necesary".
He didn't tell anyone about the change and no commit message explaining it.
When confronted by the whole Team about his stupidity. His excuse Was: "I didn't know we had a deadline".
Holy badger fucking horsecum guzzling excuse of a potheaded flat earther!!!3 -
1. Buy a connected armwrist that tells you the time, how good your sleep is, your heartbeat and stuff like that
2. Manage to loose the cable that charges the device
3. Get mad
4. Finally decide to buy a new one after digging in your 50 m^2 flat in vain
5. Your stuff is coming in 12 years, I mean days. Have a lot of advertisement of this particular cable wherever you go for the next two weeks
6. The thing finally gets delivered. Let's not be stupid like before and put it in a logical place, like permanently plugged in the usb port above my computer tower.
7. Find the supposed lost cable at said place.3 -
Fuck all those shitdesigns that interface with their LCD using flat graphite cables!
USE FUCKING COPPER WIRES ALREADY!!! At least those things can take a small fucking tug of gravity during disassembly, unlike that micron-thick graphite junk which fractures even more easily than my goddamn toe did!!!
And as mentioned on Hackaday (https://hackaday.com/2012/09/...), repairing it is hell. How much does it cost to make a decent copper wire.. I can buy those things for like 20 cents from AliExpress, so don't tell me motherfuckturer that you can't. And these copper ribbon wires last on ya, AND can be repaired with a simple soldering job. Unlike this FUCKING GARBAGE!!!7 -
Dear "managers,"
Stealing credit for something you have not done is real theft.
When I come up with an idea and a detailed outline of how to build and deliver it, you do not get to say "oh I also had this idea." You did not. How could you? It uses tech you don't even know exists.
When I then proceed to build the whole thing on my own without any of your inputs (then again, you have no idea of how it works, what would you bring to the table), you don't get to parade my project in front of the board not even mentioning my name.
You see, it's not the first time you pull that off, you have taken full credit for every thing.
it's not just my wee feelings getting hurt for lack of recognition: it has real world consequences.
You get the promotion, you get the salary raise and you now live in a flat with a balcony and a view, while my wife and I share a studio as my salary has not budged.
You're a cunting thief, I hope your mom dies.
Best,
X8 -
One of my previous managers would constantly make promises our team couldn't keep. "You want it in a week? Sure, we can finish it in a week! You want it tomorrow? Sure, we can do that!"
It got so bad that our team basically had to stage an intervention. At one of our standups, we flat-out told him that even if the entire team dropped all of our other tasks to focus on the one big project, we still would not be able to meet the deadline he'd promised the client.
And that fucker actually said, "Well, if you want to come in on the weekend to work some overtime, I don't mind." as if he was offering to do us a favor by "allowing" us to work more.
No overtime pay because we had salaries.
So glad I don't work for him any more. Of course, my next manager wasn't great either, it just took longer for us to figure it out because she wasn't nearly as blatant about it.7 -
New random background image for my homepage.
Dunno where I found my inspiration, just opened inkscape and started clinking the mouse
7 -
What's with all the C, "C, C++, Objective C & C sharp?"
If I make a language it'll be named C flat or C natural26 -
Some companies be like-
.. In job posting - We are the next big thing. We are going to change the industry. We are like Google / Facebook etc...
..in Introduction - We are the next big thing. We are going to change the industry. We are like Google / Facebook etc...
.. in Interviews - We are the next big thing. We are already changing the industry. Think of us like Google / Facebook etc...
.. during Interviews - Our interview process is rigorous because we are the next big thing. We are going to change the industry. We are like Google / Facebook etc...
.. questions in interviews - Since we are Google / Facebook, please answer questions on Java, C/C++, JS, react, angular, data structure, html, css, C#, algorithms, rdbms, nosql, python, golang, pascal, shell, perl...
.. english, french, japanese, arabic, farsi, Sinhalese..
.. analytics, BigData, Hadoop, Spark,
.. HTTP(s), tcp, smpp, networking,.
..
..
..
.. starwars, dark-knight, scarface, someShitMovie..
You must be willing to work anytime. You must have 'no-excuses' attitude
.........................................
Now in Salary - Oh... well... yeah... see.... that actually depends on your previous package. Stocks will be given after 24 re-births. Joining bonus will be given once you lease your kidneys.
But hey, look... We got free food.
Well, SHOVE THAT FOOD UPTO YOUR ASS.
FUCK YOU...
FUCK YOUR 'COOL aka STUPID PIZZA BEER - CULTURE'.
FUCK YOUR 'FLAT- HIERARCHY'.
FUCK YOUR REVOLUTIONARY-PRODUCT.
FUCK YOU!2 -
!dev
Dear Airbnb Hosts,
The extra cleaning fee isn't just extra profit for you. I will gladly pick up after myself, before I leave. That said, if you expect me to deep clean your flat, consider leaving equipment to do so. If you send me a shitty email because I didn't buy a broom, mop, bucket and kitchen rags to stock your investment property, I'll tell you about where you can stick that noise.
Sincerely,
Fuck you7 -
!dev
If you ever feel like having a good laugh, just watch a flat-earthers video/live-stream.
I can't understand how something like this can even happen, it's so insanely ridiculous.
HOW THE FUCK CAN A HUMAN BEING LIVING IN 2018 BELIEVE THAT THE EARTH IS A FLAT DISC WITH A GLOBE ABOVE IT.12 -
*Moves to another town to start a new job
*Been living in a dorm for the past month
*Starts looking for flats to rent
*Misses a few nice ones because he finds their ads a few hours late
*Starts developing an app that looks for new flat ads that matches his requirements and notifies him of their existence
*Finds a nice flat by accident before he even finish developing the app
*Refuses to rent it only because he believes his app could do better!
Me in a nutshell!4 -
Boy, this Monday mornig was crazy...
At 7 am, as I just left my flat, I received an ultra urgent email from the CEO of a company we exchanged the fileserver for, that the network shares are not available.
I instantly turned around, went back to my flat, fired up my HAL9000 supercomputer and connected remotely.
4 levels deep (PC => VPN => Remotedesktop => vSphere Client => VM) I felt like I was in the movie Inception and tried to figure out what happened.
I don't know why, but in the logs it said that the fileserver VM was down since 4am. Holy sithlord... why?
After restarting and the usual problems with Windows Network Names, everything was back online.
My special thanks go to Mr. Coffee, who is always a great companion during monday mornings, Mr. VPN, the great fellow who invented the VPN and last but not least "The Internet" for connecting me to a world of binary, where every idea finds a listener and where Ajit Pai can be memed without concequences.
FUCK YOU Ajit. Harlem Shake is so 2013.2 -
Don’t you love when you put a lot of blood, sweat, and tears into a company and then you get fired because your wife got a flat tire and you had to go help fix it?
When I got to this company they were not using version control, had no tooling in place, and most of our day was spent merging projects by hand and going through a long process to deploy our applications (this company is a primarily Salesforce company).
I got everyone using git and built a node client to transpile JavaScript and SASS, lint code, package everything together, and deploy it to Salesforce. Productivity jumped and the amount of time all of us spent merging code by hand dropped significantly.
A few weeks after finishing this CLI I was moved to another team and subsequently let go because I had to leave early to help my wife fix a flat tire. Now I am freelancing and actually doing pretty damn well for myself. Bonus: I no longer have to work with the disaster that is Salesforce!2 -
I created website for a client, with sleek material design.
He told me that the website was too flat and needed more shadows and gradients to make it more modern and 3D.8 -
Once I moved to new flat that had no internet connection yet, so I went to restaurant located under my apartment, that had WiFi secured with password. I asked for it while waiting for the order - it was "A1B2C3D4". After a while I got anoyed that it was so slow, so checked if can acces router admin page and restrict access for their clients. It turned out I can and they used default login and password, so they ended up with only my MAC whitelisted. Seemed they had connected their own business PC ("office PC") via LAN too, so I was curious if they call ISP to check it out. I checked the router settings every day, even after I got my own internet connction and they had it blocked for about 3 weeks. Then they changed WiFi password, so I came again, asked for password (another shitty one), checked router admin page and... still default login and password...9
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Every time I see a Boston dynamics video of their robots doing shit. Even if it's just flat falling on their mugs.5
-
Flat Earthers -
The Earth is FLAT.
Most People -
The Earth is a SPHERE.
People who overthink -
The Earth is a COMPOUND SHAPE.
My Friend :
The Earth was Flat, before it was proven that the Earth was a sphere.8 -
I built a tracking suite for our fleet of printers quite some time ago. Once a day, "bizteam" (aka sales) gets an alert detailing how many printers are in critical need of attention (out of paper, mechanical error, etc.), and how many of them are flat-out offline. They don't seem to care. I mean they do, I think? but. the offline percentage hasn't changed much in the past month or two.
These printers constitute a primary part of our business model and... screw it. they're goddamn important, okay?
A full 16% of our printers are OFFLINE. Most of those HAVE BEEN OFFLINE FOR 3 FUCKING MONTHS.
3% of our printers have been online BUT OUT OF PAPER FOR OVER A MONTH.
and what really baffles me...
We've convinced a few of these merchants to actually plug in their goddamn printers. (and yes, they actually *paid* for these things, and they're absolutely not cheap.) Some of those were previously both offline AND out of paper, yet after being plugged in, they're *STILL* OUT OF PAPER?! What the crap, people! It's a printer! it's not difficult! It's the same as every other fucking printer you have! and it's probably the same goddamn fucking model!
Did AlexDeLarge skullfuck your brain into mush? FIX YOUR SHIT!12 -
Worst experience with a higher up?
At an old contract job (around 2013), I was contracted by the company to help guide their developers with me to rewrite their software (it was buggy as shit, they didn't know better.).
So, a month later, we are in the middle of the rewrite and the boss flies in pissed that it's not done yet, he had the audacity to accuse me of stealing contract work with no experience in the area.
I told him flat out, "you don't know what the hell you are talking about. If you didn't hire a JV coding team, you wouldn't need me to redirect your damn rewrite."
He fired me, so I went to his superior and told her the situation. She told me i completely deserved it.
Worse part was I got paid half of my contract. Didnt make that mistake again. 😒😒
Found out later that the company failed, declared bankruptcy. Felt pretty happy.2 -
Before I left corporate America, I worked with a guy who was basically the definition of 'idiot savant' sans the actual diagnosis. He was ridiculously smart, but couldn't stay on task to save his life.
Like one time we landed a project with a major client. My team was running backend, his was running mobile integration. After a month of little to no visible activity, we approached him and he just said 'oh yea, i got sidetracked'... but he wasn't working on anything else. Just found some random shinny pebble that caught his attention and he bailed on everything else.
To make matters worse, his personal hygiene was nonexistent (I don't think he's showered since either), and he LOVED writing things in super-obscure languages that even the best we had hadn't ever heard of, with nonsensical (and often totally misleading) variable names and no inline comments. Trying to put someone new on something he'd touched was like asking an English professor to translate a 10K year old tablet dug up in the middle of the desert. Just didn't work.
But... the CEO flat out refused to get rid of him for years, until virtually every other employee simultaneously turned in our two weeks.3 -
Why are all flat and fully closed design raspberry pi zero cases either only available in a fucking $100 bundle or have holes somewhere to accomodate for the fucking pinheaders or just random dickholes, for no fucking reason.
21 -
CLIENT "So my nephew who does stuff with computers built it and we are ok with how it all works so don't worry about changing that. "
DEV "so like you have a public form with no input filtering, spam mitigation let alone sanitization or remote concern for security. Basically you have a Json flat file that is 34mbs of links to, viagra, replica watches, nock off name brands and one real estate company. It is getting about 15 submissions an hour. Since you don't want me changing how it works are you happy to just leave all that ?"
CLIENT "no no we don't want all that but we have no route to delete it, can you just stop all the spam and let us continue on?"
DEV "ok so back to my first question can we rebuild all of this properly, or do you really want to just leave it all"
:/ FML3 -
Stakeholder today. Guy is a flat out turbo cunt. I was listing various things that are not complete yet and he’s like “I could do that in an hour!!”
Could you though, fucko? Could you?6 -
My biggest enemy is what i call "development fork bomb".
My boss duplicates code on a daily basis. Instead of creating subclasses he simply creates new files by copying lines from other files. The projects class hierarchy is as flat as holland.
You can take a comment, do a project-wide search and you will find 3+ matches, an ugly hack i wrote exists 4 times in the project, and so on.
Worst of all, we spend more time on bugfixes than refactoring. With my power i could add a commit-hook to block or lessen this behaviour, but i cant. There's no program that can detect this reliably and sometimes it needs to be done.
This is a curse i'm stuck with appearently.6 -
I've found an affordable flat and it feels like winning the lottery. Before this one I wasn't even getting the overpriced ones!
*discards the tent*9 -
So I bought myself some computer glasses after feeling uncomfortable looking at a screen with "bare" eyes (I don't wear corrective glasses).
But the other day, I lost them.
I looked for them everywhere, under each grain of dust I could find. They were nowhere to be found.
Reluctantly, I bought new ones. They arrived today, I unpack them, test them, and then do some flat cleaning. I lift some envelope and...
My first pair was sitting there, innocently.
Fuck me.7 -
So, plans for 1.916496 years?
- Dominate Vue.js
- Finish 2 personal projects
- Buy my gaming rig
- Buy my track day car
- Remortgage current flat
- Expand my agency
- Work less
- Rant less
Not exactly in that order.3 -
Ever notice the similarity between Flat Earthers and people who believe HTML is a programming language?
You can present them with all the reason and logic in the world and they won’t change their minds.13 -
Soo much fun working for a cunt as a boss:
B: We getting soo close now, the plane is coming in to land.
Me: Yes, but the engine is busy falling off
B: Well, if we miss the deadline, its only us to blame.
NO YOU INSIGNIFICANT LITTLE CUNT, ITS YOU, ONLY YOU, 100% ENTIRELY YOU YOU SHIT FACED DUCK DICK.
Context:
We are on version 8 of our deadline, which was initially March, our next and final extension ends next Friday, we are this fucked ebcause all he fucking does is make bad descisions and pointless changes, we been telling hims once October to stop making changes if we ever want ot make the deadline.
Directly after he vommited that poes out of his mount he goes on to detail the massive change to the data structure that only needs to be changed as he refused ot listen to the developer when they told him not to do it that way 3 months ago.
How is it even possible that someone this moronic and incompitent can actualyl exist on planet earth. He is not even a flat earther.1 -
Somebody added me in a Flat Earthers' group in facebook, and they all say the nastiest things about NASA. One of them showed this image :/ Like you could really hack NASA with HTML CSS :/
12 -
me: do we need to setup the shop to charge a flat shipping rate, or charge per item?
🕛3 hours later.
client: yes, that is correct.
me: 😧2 -
Hoozay! I'm now starting to become an adult! (or atleast, that's what they expect of me)
myAge:
.long 19
main:
push rbp
mov rbp, rsp
mov eax, DWORD PTR myAge[rip]
add eax, 1
mov DWORD PTR myAge[rip], eax
mov eax, DWORD PTR myAge[rip]
mov esi, eax
mov edi, OFFSET FLAT:_ZSt4cout
call std::basic_ostream<char, std::char_traits<char> >::operator<<(int)
mov eax, 0
pop rbp
ret
__static_initialization_and_destruction_0(int, int):
push rbp
mov rbp, rsp
sub rsp, 16
mov DWORD PTR [rbp-4], edi
mov DWORD PTR [rbp-8], esi
cmp DWORD PTR [rbp-4], 1
jne .L5
cmp DWORD PTR [rbp-8], 65535
jne .L5
mov edi, OFFSET FLAT:_ZStL8__ioinit
call std::ios_base::Init::Init() [complete object constructor]
mov edx, OFFSET FLAT:__dso_handle
mov esi, OFFSET FLAT:_ZStL8__ioinit
mov edi, OFFSET FLAT:_ZNSt8ios_base4InitD1Ev
call __cxa_atexit
.L5:
nop
leave
ret
_GLOBAL__sub_I_myAge:
push rbp
mov rbp, rsp
mov esi, 65535
mov edi, 1
call __static_initialization_and_destruction_0(int, int)
pop rbp
ret12 -
How my year has gone so far...
Management: Bobby, we are replacing your old hammer.
Me: Ok cool.
Management: Well actually there's so much going on...here is a wrench instead.
Me: But, this isn't a hammer.
Management: Yes we are aware but we are busy and cannot buy a hammer for a several more months.
Me: How the fuck am I suppose to hammer nails with this?
Management: Oh gosh you are right. That sounds difficult. We will grind down one side of it so you have a flat surface to hammer in those nails.
Management: Oh and by the way, those nails are super important so don't screw anything up.12 -
!quiteRant
Since I'm working for 3 years as a parttime software engineer, I started to feel my tendon sheath more and more, sometimes it was hurting so I decided to have a look around on ergonomic keyboards, because in the office we only have these flat, thin wireless keyboards which are the fucking opposite of ergonomic.
They feel like when Eddie Scissorhands has to cut hair of a pile of rocks.
So after some reviews I decided to buy a Kinesis Advantage2 (made in the USA of Americas) eventhough it is quite expensive (379 Kanuckistan Kopeks).
I must say this keyboard is fucking well engineered. You can remap every key in a few keypresses and it is stored on the keyboard itself, no software required... awesome!
The disadvantage for me is, being pretty tall I have very wide shoulders so the 2 keyboard pits are a bit too close together in my oppinion.
The other thing is, you really have to get used to it... I am slowly advancing in speed and it feels great. No pain anymore and I don't have to move my hands at all.
So what are your experiences with keyboards and does your workplace have a good setup for staying healthy?
19 -
I want to finish my masters degree, get a nice job that helps me find my place in CS, get a new, bigger flat and add some hamsters to my family to become the crazy single hamster lady I was always meant to be.7
-
start teaching people how and why to delete code instead of teaching them only how to write code
compare functional and object oriented languages as well as high level and low level languages and explain what are advantages of using certain language without going into the syntax
let people do mistakes and don’t punish people for making them but let them explain what happened, if they know what was the cause of mistake it is worth ten times than doing things correctly
mix teams per period of time instead of per project
make showcases how to modify ugly code to pretty one and what are the steps and what patterns people should look after
teach by not showing old stuff but showing where old stuff exists in modern things and why it’s important there and what’s the purpose of doing things certain way instead of flat theory based on ancient examples1 -
I can’t even say what’s wrong with PHP, because— okay. Imagine you have uh, a toolbox. A set of tools. Looks okay, standard stuff in there.
You pull out a screwdriver, and you see it’s one of those weird tri-headed things. Okay, well, that’s not very useful to you, but you guess it comes in handy sometimes.
You pull out the hammer, but to your dismay, it has the claw part on both sides. Still serviceable though, I mean, you can hit nails with the middle of the head holding it sideways.
You pull out the pliers, but they don’t have those serrated surfaces; it’s flat and smooth. That’s less useful, but it still turns bolts well enough, so whatever.
And on you go. Everything in the box is kind of weird and quirky, but maybe not enough to make it completely worthless. And there’s no clear problem with the set as a whole; it still has all the tools.
Now imagine you meet millions of carpenters using this toolbox who tell you “well hey what’s the problem with these tools? They’re all I’ve ever used and they work fine!” And the carpenters show you the houses they’ve built, where every room is a pentagon and the roof is upside-down. And you knock on the front door and it just collapses inwards and they all yell at you for breaking their door.
That’s what’s wrong with PHP.8 -
I have a co-worker that thinks that whole world is a big conspiracy theory and the earth is flat. And this weirdo is a dev... FML2
-
!rant && extra('worried');
My 11 years-old brother seems to be addicted to Minecraft, not the "dis iz so kool" addiction, but the "I put my health and education in danger to keep playing this game (homeworks badly done, grades free falling, showers without soap in 30s flat, food eaten in 15s, starts to yell at parents when they want him to stop playing (parents bitch slapped him a few times for this, but he seems to persist)).
My parents are over 55 now, so they don't really know how to handle this (can't / don't want to blame them), and I'm supposed shove some reason in his dead brain next weekend (I live 150km away).
I've been addicted myself to videogames in general and WoW in particular ((almost) no regrets) a few years back.. what should I say to him else than "This shit will ruin your life even before you started it" (which is planned anyway) ?26 -
I can’t even say what’s wrong with PHP, because— okay. Imagine you have uh, a toolbox. A set of tools. Looks okay, standard stuff in there.
You pull out a screwdriver, and you see it’s one of those weird tri-headed things. Okay, well, that’s not very useful to you, but you guess it comes in handy sometimes.
You pull out the hammer, but to your dismay, it has the claw part on both sides. Still serviceable though, I mean, you can hit nails with the middle of the head holding it sideways.
You pull out the pliers, but they don’t have those serrated surfaces; it’s flat and smooth. That’s less useful, but it still turns bolts well enough, so whatever.
And on you go. Everything in the box is kind of weird and quirky, but maybe not enough to make it completely worthless. And there’s no clear problem with the set as a whole; it still has all the tools.
Now imagine you meet millions of carpenters using this toolbox who tell you “well hey what’s the problem with these tools? They’re all I’ve ever used and they work fine!” And the carpenters show you the houses they’ve built, where every room is a pentagon and the roof is upside-down. And you knock on the front door and it just collapses inwards and they all yell at you for breaking their door.
That’s what’s wrong with PHP.6 -
(Joke || Rant)
This guy came with this joke.
Ok, funny.
Then months later you realise he pushed this tweaked prototype to master, and now this code is shipped in production and it actually prints some idiotic sentence about flat earth on console output.
Ok, idiot.
It's not my project, but sometimes I'm wondering what people have in their minds when using version control and ship crap...
-
Honk! Honk! Here comes your company's proprietary library wearing big, red, squeaky fucking clown shoes! What a goofy fuck he is! Look how he breaks and limits React because he's a stupid, broken, clown shoe wearing mother fucker! Watch him trip over his big stupid feet and fall flat on his fat, stupid face. Hope you weren't planning on being productive because this big, dopey fuck is your partner.
-
Friends of mine have a new flat.
It's a nice flat. Cheap. Noone wanted it. 100 square meters.
Reason noone wanted it...
Previous owners were bastards from hell.
Really. Every motherfucking room needed to be completely renovated by the owner.
Door frames were made of wood, nice and old - at least the part that was left of them. Splinters, scratch marks, partially broken out of the wall.
2 windows needed to be fully replaced. Rest of the windows needed to be bleached, PET abrasive cleaning solution and the frames needed repair with resin as they drilled into the frames. Then treatment with sealant of course.
Yes. There was no other solution. After bleaching you recognized the windows were white. Before... Let's not talk about it.
The previous owners even managed to destroy the bathtub.
The kitchen tiles... Fat cleaner. Bleaching. Abrasion. Polishing.
Soooo.
Day of moving.
The apartment is in the 6th floor / level.
Cran / lift was ordered.
16 people wanted to come.
7 people came.
2 including myself couldn't lift heavy stuff nor walk the stairs due to health issues.
Crane broke after first try.
Today. I want to murder the previous owners. After torture and crucification.
I'm feeling levels of pain I couldn't Imagine before.
Only hate and beer let's me keep my shit together.
I REALLY didn't think after renovating and cleaning the flat for my friends in the last several weeks that it could get worse.
Boy. I was wrong.
Thanks for letting me vent here. I really feel devastated currently -.-
And I need to help them tomorrow, too.
Bikini Atoll, tchernobyl and every other atom bomb desaster Zone combined looks better than the chaos in their flat.
Everyone who could lift shoved everything inside.
I solo carried everything that wasn't too large in the room and then, as every room looked like desaster, completely managed the kitchen (cleaning, unpacking, trash, placing everything where it belongs and so on) :( :(4 -
I wonder whether this is a bug in Chrome, or if it's just Google drawing the conclusion from my northern geo-position, that we still haven't left the stage of building longships, raiding England and Scotland, burning monasteries and writing awesome poetry and literature in weird characters sets.
Well, I'm not Ragnarr f*cking Loðbrók or Egill Skallagrímsson, so I can't read electronic component data sheets the way those guys did.
I'll go grab my chisel, so I can carve a bug report into a suitably flat stone and shove it down the TCP/IP series of tubes leading to Google.
-
Debugging Plex server: streaming a child movie on my phone and tailing the server logs on my flat TV1
-
I think I'm gonna throw up!
I need to rework this abomination against god. Who gets the idea to use json for a configuration and still ends up doing string manipulation on it. 20k lines of spaghett sprinkled over like 20 files. Just because you wante a single flat datapoint. But hey its in json. ✨4 -
Just visited a relative whose flat number was: 404!
As anti-climatic as it could get, I could easily find it 😜🤷🏻♂️ -
Why do they send flat colour logos as fucking jpegs? Indexed png or gif unless you like the artifacting on your shit logo, dickbrain.4
-
I met a girl today with a padding bottom of 100℅. She was lit... Unlike my dev friend, his girl is a flat design.6
-
So I had a PhD interview with a very good group, and it was downright a catastrophe. I mean, questions on abstract algebra...
Surprisingly, the professor didn't flat out reject me. He offered to start with an internship, and if I can catch up with the necessary math background, then I will stay as a PhD student. Decisions...7 -
Corp: you will get a four hour assignment to work out
Me: cool nice.
Corp: here it is, build a dragon with conflicting requirements, stocks but without any form of pricing mixed in. Then slay that dragon and post it to the static backend we created.
Me: cringe much?
Corp: yeah, you can spend more than 4h but be sure to spice things up abit. Since it is frontend, and all we spin up from the backend is flat data. But it must exhale an exciting user experience.
Me: stop the cringe pls!6 -
So a client hired us to rebuild their website, because their current website is being held hostage at their current provider. The provider locked them out of WordPress and says they will shut down the website at the end of the month.
The client wants us to hack into the website and get the files. I told them "no chance in hell", but that their current website will be at our host later today.
What I didn't tell them is that I just scraped their website pages to flat HTML.5 -
I'll be honest, I've never understood why people say that numbers generated by a computer are pseudorandom and not random.
I know a lot of algorithms for number generation, and I implemented mine, based on time of invokation expressed in nanoseconds, taking digits, manipulating and transforming them. Then I analyzed the probability distribution and it's absolutely flat. So, if you know the Touring test, we can use a modified version of it. If I give you a sequence of random numbers generated by a computer and I give you a sequence of random numbers invented by a person, and you can't notice the difference, so the test is passed.
What's wrong on it?14 -
It's actually safer to use a flat head screwdriver bit to screw and unscrew Phillips head screws than the screwdriver bit that's actually designed for it.. because reasons.
Fuck Phillips heads, they're fucking junk. They're quite a decent match for the shit that consumer electronics often is though... But for anything halfway fucking worth it, why don't we use something like Torx or tri-wing already?! Or rather, anything that isn't Phillips or Pozidriv. Anything that doesn't fuck right off when you slightly overtorque it (without stripping the threads) or want to unscrew it.16 -
I don't want a personal assitant who helps me to google. I don't need a program that writes text for me. I don't need an AI wich invents cooking recipes. Or discovers new music for me. Or plays my virtual girlfriend. All of this is shit. It's giving away the parts of life which are actually fun.
I need a robot that cleans up my fucking flat, clean the fucking dishes, and buys fucking grocerys while being cheaper and socially and environmentally better that paying some humans.19 -
My client is offering me onsite project with 6 months of employmentship/contract/internship in Germany(munich)🍻
He is going to provide me flat, desk, macbook and transportation but final amount is not decided yet.
What all things I should consider while negotiating.
I'm so excited for this offer but no idea what should be expected salary and compensation over there.🤔
Ps: I have experience of 2 years in JavaScript development and I worked with him from almost beginning of my career.
Also shall I start learning germany or dutch?🤔22 -
The stupidest technical question I have ever been asked is actually more of a design question, but I think it'll appeal to DevRant people.
I had thrown together a logo for a new system that my team was making. The logo was basically a flat, solid circle of our corporate shade of blue, with the name of the product overlaid in Helvetica Light. It looked okay. Ish. Good enough, anyway.
Our junior-most senior manager came to have a look. She was the sort of person who always had to give feedback, on EVERYTHING. Everyone had given this little logo the nod, but she had to stare at it for ages, and then eventually asked:
"I like the text, but can you rotate the circle a few degrees?"
.
.
.
After an awkward pause I'm pleased to report that she realised her own mistake and we laughed it off, so I was not forced to stand up, point at her, and yell "DURRRRRRRRRR". -
Skeuomorphism is back. Flat design is over. Thank goodness. I remember guys bullying me for not liking the flat design.
6 -
Even with something as simple as pagination, it's possible to create a complete accessibility abomination. Dear designer, you've perfected your flat design style.
Fuck you! I'm not coding this.
It's a website about selling solar panels, underfloor heating etc... Not a single piece of design reminds it.
7 -
Renting a flat above a kindergarten.
I hate Christmas songs and I am very sensitive to high pitched noises.
It's a bad time in the year to be working from home...3 -
When your wife doesn't understand the concept of working remotely and keeps asking you to put up flat pack that has been in the corner for a few days because you really don't want to put it up. Just because I am sat on the sofa with my laptop on my lap watch the whole series of west world does not mean I am not working. Working from your own house makes you lose your alpha male role pretty quickly when they realise what you really do. Perhaps I should put up the flat pack knock down a wall or something have a break from socket.io!8
-
Director of the company asked me to design an app that's near impossible on Tuesday. Explained to him the constraints of what he wanted, he told me to give him a low down of all the constrains by the end of the week. Gave him a a full report yesterday.
Calls me in today and tells me head office's CSO is coming next week Friday and he wants the app ready by then so he can show it to the CSO.
What the fuck. Guess I'll be spending nights late coding the impossible. (because my actual job at the company has nothing to do with his bloody app).
Communication is key, but when the communicator is flat out fucking ignored, what's the point.1 -
OsCommerce is literally the most awful piece of software ever. Granted, I'm migrating a version from 2007, but even still.
The admin area has a screen to set related products to a target product.
The page takes an age to load, even longer to save and is god awful to use from a UI POV.
Why may you ask?
The OsCommerce devs decided to display a flat list, which check boxes of ALL products in the database.
So for the site in question, that's a single list of 167,000 products, without pagination. Some of the worst development/design on a single page I've seen since last week when I inherited a god awful butchered Wordpress site :|
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Suprise visit by my mother at my flat. Cute, but please announce it advance so that I can clean my mess 😆1
-
I never understood why designers design radio and checkbox inputs like that. I guess the standard design is too much accessible.
19 -
So today I was asked by another department in my company to help them make a logo. They have meetings they have named Pulse (stupid healthcare.) So I made them a logo of the word Pulse with a red ekg then a long line after as if it was flat lining. I hope they either don't get it or get it and never ask me for such things again.
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Mentoring rocks!!!
I have been lucky to have a wonderful mentor. He helped me to get my master CS after I arrived in Montreal. When I had a housing problem not only did he take me in for a couple of weeks but he even helped me get a new flat!
He's the reason I'm not a dickhead.
I continue to have mentorees. Get them around the last year of their bachelor (they need to know how to code) and follow them for 3 years.
"Be the change you want to see" - everyone who quotes Gandhi3 -
Not particularly dev related but I do need to rant.
Parents are here to visit, it's lovely to see them. Unfortunately I have a small ass 1 bed flat because rent and house prices are stupid high where I work. I'm sleeping in the living room on an air bed, the fridge/freezer is noisy and about 3 foot from my head so I've been turning it off over night. It didn't get plugged in this morning so shit's getting thrown out. I sleep maybe 5 hours, wake up at 1 too hot, 4 too cold then mother comes in at 6 with the dogs. 3rd night of this. I've taken holiday even though I don't have much to spare because there's no way in fuck I can work feeling like this, I'm a dev and need to be able to think and do intelligent things ffs.
It's nice to see family but it's nice to have my own space too. -
GDPR is about to happen.
Has anyone read the provisions?
It's like they put some flat earther anti-vaxers in a room and made them scribble up a law.
For those who don't know - it's a new, EU-wide "data privacy" law that's about to take effect on May 25th.
The gist of it is that if you fuck up even a little bit, you get to personally pay a fine of up to 10 Million Euros (for companies there's a separate clause, this is for employees only), or/and 2-3 years in jail if that fuck-up has caused material damages.
That little fuck-up can be as simple as losing a tiny amount of data between back-ups, or entrusting a third party with full access to some data (which is not prohibited) without controlling 100% what he can do with that data (which IS prohibited).
I shit you not, these are the explicit articles of that law.
If it is enforced in this way, it is the swift death of European economy. Just because some retards didn't read the privacy policy before agreeing to it, and then made a shit storm, everyone has to suffer.50 -
Question for the old timers: is it possible to work as a dev for the rest of your life and be happy?
.
.
.
Does it get any better or is dev burnout baked into the business model of every company?
The CEO flat out admitted it was exactly that where I'm at a few weeks ago 😞16 -
WOOOP-DE-FUCKING-DO I HATE MY ISP (well actually the company which is reliable for the cable networks which lead to my/our new home).
WhAtEvErYoUmEaN and I moved yesterday to a new flat. Not spectacular at all except that mentioned company cancelled the appointment ON THE SAME FUCKING DAY! "We're so sorry. No internet until Thursday. At least"
Dickheads.
Well, so we are here in the middle of nowhere without internet. Time for old school books i guess😅7 -
Aint a rant, but pulsar player has the best fucking implementation of the material design ive ever seen, everything is perfectly flat and still alive aaah
4 -
Rant about the Hungarian corruption.
Today I was on a driving test with two others, I was the last one.
They just flat out told us that two of us will pass, the first two who bribe them(the driving instructor and the inspector)
I was the last in line, and both paid before me so I failed my driving test automatically and I have to retake it(because if all three pass, than attention is brought onto the corruption), and even have to pay the fee to be able to retake the exam, and now I will have to bribe them too, so I can pass.
This pisses me off so much, I wish I had alexdelarge as my personal rant writer so he could express my pure anger and hatred.5 -
I have the best of the very best client on Earth.
A kind who would flat out reject with most depression reviews to our best and hardly committed work whenever an payment installment date is near. -
If a company says that they have no hierarchical structure or they have a flat hierarchy consider that as a definite red flag.
What they basically mean is that Noone is responsible for anything and everyone is going to be passive aggressive towards you if you have any skill at all in fear of losing their *position* in others mind.
There is no growth in such a company.7 -
Reverse engineering an applications internal object model and creating an database model for it...
The reason: Several versions of application exist, each deliver flat data by rest. The data is a complete potpourri of several different entities. *yaaaay*
Eg. an example fictional call (real call and data would get me in trouble I think....)
get_fiscal_report returning the fiscal data for _several_ companies, the companies _subsidiaries_ and the respective _segments_ for a _year_ with a key value enumeration.
So it's an happy fuck up of N:N associative data that usually would be a hierarchical relationship...
Year - Company
Each Company has subsidiaries
Each Company subsidiary has segments
Each segment has a fixed enumeration of keys
Each key has then the monetary value (e.g. 'operating_income' - 155_000 US-$)
Example is made up, but my data contains exactly such a lovely nested hierarchical data flattened and misnamed to a point where it's close to garbage.
Yaaaay.
I had now 6 days of untucking this mess to a usable database representation...
Sprinkling Unique Keys everywhere...
Running persist script...
Getting exceptions...
Changing associations...
Running persist script...
Screaming.
Changing associations...
Violently cursing.
Running persist script.
Starting sacrificing interns...
6 days.
I need a new brain and a format of my soul.
-.-
Reverse engineering proprietary software is really an morbid adventure.1 -
In an art school. 3 years into our artistic degree. They decided to teach us web development. Me coming from a background of web though that this was going to be easy.
Little did I know that I'll see a new perspective of web design. These people, many of whom do not know of flat design, are actually making real shit that looks gorgeous! I love my classmates! -
Cold as fuck in my flat
i don't want to write these unit tests
RRRAAAAAAAAGSFGGDDFGFDSA SAFSA SVA11 -
"there is no WiFi in hell"
- me, thinking about my new flat(that has no internet yet)
Still wondering why this sentence came to mind...5 -
When Microsoft shuttered Windows XP, my mom's old laptop became a virus-prone, sluggish machine. She let me have it, soon after which I decided to install Ubuntu on it. One thing I should note about this laptop is that the battery could not hold a charge. The power cord was the laptop's life support, and I made sure to place the power brick on a flat surface.
One day, a new version of Ubuntu was released. I decided to perform a dist-upgrade. Because this laptop was on the older side, the ventilation left a lot to be desired by today's standards. Rather than roast my crotch, I placed my computer on the table and the power brick on a swivel chair next to me.
I was working on an assignment for a class when I saw movement in my peripheral vision. I turned and watched in horror as my power brick fell off the chair, pulling the charging cord out of the laptop and turning off the laptop... MID-UPGRADE!
Moral of the story, learn to navigate a computer via a text interface if you haven't already. It may save your ass someday. It saved mine.2 -
A year ago I was hired as a Jr dev to assist the senior dev because he was so busy. Within 2 months he was pushed out and I replaced him. I thought maybe he just got busy with other things or found a new job.
After working alone this past year, I was told last week that since I am so busy with things outside the job, they were hiring someone to help me finish the project I'm currently on.
(for context : I work as a contracted dev for a small dev company of 5 or so people. One for each language/os.)
I can't help but think that I'm probably being pushed out and replaced. I flat out asked that, but never got a reply. Now I'm 70% through a project and disgruntled with everything. Not sure how I'm supposed to feel really.
If they want to replace me for one reason or another that's fine, I just wish they weren't shady about it.
I should probably be working right now, but I'm going to take my kids to the pet store to clear my head. I'll enjoy a little time away from my computer.2 -
What aren't there any 2k 32 inch 144 Hz monitors out there that are: flat. I want to upgrade my home setup from a 24" setup, which is, you know, flat. Even back in the days of the CRT monstrosities I've spent a premium on getting a flat panel, as the outside curvature was a technical obstacle to overcome.
I don't understand the need to curve the display. It distorts the lines, hinders other people looking at your screen as you have to be in the right spot, and every camera records on a flat surface. Why should it be a good thing to go curved?
I am reminded of the 3D craze.1 -
Hmm... That's 2 yrs from now.. o.O
Mmm...ok... Keep the job, rewrite old crap (I mean code) I'm maintaining & rock at it..
Personal issues wise, get married get own flat/house & hopefully get back to climbing at least on weekly basis.. Ooh & maybe a doggo & kitteh.. xD
P.S. maybe find a phone that will outsurvive me.. or at least survive me for more than 3 months.. :/6 -
Oh my gosh. Windows is...eh..
I mean, it is outdated and slow, has bugs and many other stuff, but do you know why I use it? It is widely supported.
Compare application support on Mac or Linux! It is nothing compared to Windows.
However, I will still have to deal with it for a very very long time...3 -
That moment when your server is so messed up you can only blame the devil.
So you throw away your stupid atheism, begin believing in jesus and you do an exorcism on your server.
You server still sucks, it's obviously because earth is flat and the instruction set of the CPU is meant for a round earth that never existed...3 -
Went up to a booth of some small company with nobody in line and they rejected me flat out because I hadn't had a previous internship. they laid out their requirements (which were higher than Microsoft's I might add) and then said they still wanted to keep my resume. i told them that their requests were ridiculous, then grabbed my resume out of their hands and told them I'd give it to somebody worth my time1
-
Whenever I see job postings with salaries this low I always wonder exactly what's going through the minds of the people running the company.
Who in their right mind would want to spend 4+ years working hard on a CS degree only to be offered less than what the average retail manager earns? I barely afford a 1 bed flat share on this salary in my part of the country...
I'm starting to run into more and more job adverts like this. Why are companies working so hard to rip of graduates?
13 -
Had design call with designer, myself and client. At end of call we tell client we're going to send a mock up and that it's just going to be a flat image/JPG, because we don't start developing the site until mock up is 100% approved. I sent mock up to client once it's finished.
Client: "Why isn't this working? I can't click anything and nothing moves."5 -
I’m starting to flat out not trust my team. Every single time I delegate a task it comes back with massive bugs and features missing.5
-
I like building large apps in flat php.
I get bullied for not using OOP / Frameworks.
I don't like this.5 -
When your director wants a single flat static webpage(a simple advertisement with a form), but forces you to create it within Wordpress
....talk about clunky9 -
-Rant-
How do you (not) secure your Rest based web service?
1. Chain it to shady organic authentication system built by a hoard of monkeys high on Tequila.
2. have secret keys that get copy pasted into config flat files, and index them on your code search engine.
3. make the onboarding extremely platform specific that you need 500 environment variables, 50 scripts, 5 fancy device presses and a tap dance to make a GET call to the service.
4. fish through 500 rotating log files that the authentication system generates for each API call made.
5. Leave traces all over the host so if you have to start over, you should sudo rm -rf / and set fire to your computer. -
Coding has absorbed my life.. I need a new side hobby for balance 😂 something hands-on, physically challenging and *social*. But I live at the most flat and boring place in germany and winter is approaching.. this will be a few boring, hazy months...4
-
Oh that time,
When I nearly hit the 48h.
With two 04-14h shifts without ANY break and constant crying from my colleagues.
And that flat movement of a friend in between. Where nobody did shit and I had to carry the washing machine one story downstairs. Alone. Because the other participants did not want to hurt their hands. Yeah.
In the breaks at home I ate and went on gaming, that pushed up I've been.
Those were the days in west Germany 'industrial centre' dip shit.
The war zones on humanity that piss me off.
And there still are those greedy pigs working off their asses, licking cunts for coins and mistreating their subordinates and families with 15 children (alternatively their BMW 3xx's) and partying 'friends' they only know by consuming the most industrial waste radioactive gym work out fist fucker 8000 *tm
Yeah.
Those were the days11 -
I don't know about others, but I would love to go back in time and start webdev in the early days of the internet, the idea of starting off in a place where no one knows for sure what we can accomplish with the new tech. Unlike now the small things have been discovered. Honestly I might just be crazy and narrowing my thoughts, but I rather be in the time that we would get excited over a 12mb thumbdrive than to be excited for a 2tera. Back when websites used to use flash unlike the standard "clean and flat" we have now.
I can only imagine how much fun it would've been literally starting out.6 -
Joined small scale-up months ago. I literally want to punch one of my coworker. Constant mental harassement, self-declared lead, rude and impolite. That coworker is socially awkward in the baddest and meanest way.
Oh boi.
Founders seems to not give a crap even if they told me they want a flat hierarchy. They let that coworker off the hook.
Not even mentioning that culture of oppression and repression.
If you're late you must bring chocolate and they'll remind you 256 times a day. Oh boy, I'm not late... I just don't want to come in the office.
Also, the code is atrocious.
What seemed like a dream job at first turned out to be a nightmare. Never been bullied since I started working. Now, I have a bully and a nemesis.
Ooooh boy.8 -
Decided to switch to Linux full time. I've spent the last week reinstalling the OS about once per day. Upside is that I can install my system with all my preferences in about 30 minutes flat !1
-
I literally have a discussion with somebody who says C# is better than PHP, even though the person in question never even touched PHP...
Like: if you prefer C# over PHP because you actually used BOTH and just prefer C# that's completely fine... but saying C# is flat out better just because you never used PHP?
It's like saying "Coca-Cola tastes better than Pepsi" even though you never had Pepsi (disclaimer: I like Coca-Cola better, but I don't really care that much about the minor difference)10 -
Guess who was studying on his laptop and also had a near deadline about an university project and now admire this fab burnt monitor flat.
(About a week ago i also reiceveid and sticked devrant's sticker to it)
6 -
i wish there was an app to measure celllphone reception, which displays the signal strength via Augmentented Reality. With green yellow and red, just like it does with a thermal camera. So that you can find the best cellphone reception spot in your flat.2
-
There is a drawing competition for my currently most played game.
I'm on vacation and the deadline is when I get back. So what did I do?
I made an inspiration cluster with the character and drawings having this arrogant face (laptop, gimp).
I sketched on my phone and put it on my laptop (the sketch). I have no desk here so I'm drawing on my bed. I have no drawing pad so I'm drawing with my mouse. Then I draw it in gimp with colors and everything (the stroke in another program on my gfs laptop), put each layer in inkscape to svg-ify them and to hq-render them back in Gimp. Corrected a few things in Gimp. Added more detail, effects (glow, gradient instead of flat color ...).
~6 hours over two days. That was fun. And fucking unprofessional.7 -
ok. been going full steam since December with 1 day off since. managing teams, review designs, designing, prototyping, code reviewing, mentoring, and doing project. management. i get that it's a "flat" org structure but hire proper PMs and BAs instead of trying to pinch pennies. all the while, i see marketing with deeeeeeep pockets spending money on anything like mommy and daddy are funding their spring break getaway. i need time to disconnect and recharge my spirit.2
-
Rant on me myself.
After being a professional coder (ie having a bachelor degree) for 11 years now, I finally have a decent and reasonable backup.
I use borg to backup to my raid 1, which is local, in my corridor near the ceiling. I use a Intel NUC with two external USB3 HDDs attatched. As I already had data on them, I went for a btrfs raid 1.
The second level of my backup solution is my brother. It's 50km to his flat. He's got a banana pi with my third HDD attached. I connect to his pi via VPN. The VPN is done via an AVM Fritz! Box. No ads, I just like those boxes (modem and router).
The backup is encrypted, of course.
Now, after ten years, I finally got a decent backup solution. Wow. This feels great! 😎 -
Dev walks in carrying a 2-liter bottle of Mt. Dew..
Dev: “Check it out, I forgot to bring my Mr. Dew from home, so I stopped at the gas station to up a bottle and they wanted $1.50, but they had 2-liters for $1.89. Much better deal. I’m all about saving money”
Me: “Um, $1.89 for a 2-liter isn’t a deal. Last week I bought several 2-liters for 69 cents each.”
Dev: “Pfftt…for the fake stuff. I want real Mt. Dew.”
Me: “Hy-Vee has all their Pepsi products on sale for 69 cents. How much do you pay for those 16oz bottles?”
Dev: "Only around $5 for a 6-pack. It's a much better deal when I buy in bulk."
Me: "I can buy 6 bottles of 2-liters cheaper than you buy a 6 pack of 16oz bottles. Buying a 6 pack at a time isn't buying in bulk."
Dev: "I hate 2-liter bottles. It goes flat before I drink it all and the soda tastes different."
Other Dev: "Um..what's that on your desk?"
- laughter all around -
Dev: "You -bleep-holes."1 -
This made my day: (Translation: In reality the earth is a star with 12 spikes and generated by this css script.
4 -
I use a stand on of of my laptops, so the thing is normally inclined.
Today i just decided to lay it flad and noticed a strange purring sound coming from one of the fans.
I just thought it was funny since I don't recall of a time in which the laptop was not flat3 -
Beautiful is better than ugly.
Explicit is better than implicit.
Simple is better than complex.
Complex is better than complicated.
Flat is better than nested.
Sparse is better than dense.
Readability counts.
Special cases aren't special enough to break the rules.
Although practicality beats purity.
Errors should never pass silently.
Unless explicitly silenced.
In the face of ambiguity, refuse the temptation to guess.
There should be one-- and preferably only one --obvious way to do it.
Although that way may not be obvious at first unless you're Dutch.
Now is better than never.
Although never is often better than *right* now.
If the implementation is hard to explain, it's a bad idea.
If the implementation is easy to explain, it may be a good idea.
Namespaces are one honking great idea -- let's do more of those!1 -
A UK bank (building society) are giving away a free home security camera if you take out their home insurance product.
Seriously!? I do NOT want to install a camera, given to me by my bank, in my flat! -
Past month I had been working on a JSON hierarchy construction from flat rows returned by query where some bugfuck had introduced pagination for some damn reason, I never gave a flying duck to this till I get a email from one of the clients who supposedly made a complete hierarchy and my endpoint wasn't returning some hierarchy after some levels.
Frustrated that my service layer there is a bug, I debug to realise only certain rows are getting sent back from the query and ebullient from this fact , I put the bug on the DB person and walk off for a smoke.
After a smooth drag , I realise while closing the email on my phone that this client had entered 10 on pagesize which would indeed just return 10 rows. *Facepalm* I didn't even need to debug all this and now I had to a face a db person I just plastered a bug on. BAHHUMBUG2 -
NDAs for me are a good predictor for a bad client or client relationship.
Doesn't work so well for larger cos, and it's not unusual for them to require one anyway.
I charge a fairly high flat fee for signing one. The people who won't pay probably don't need the NDA anyway and were going to be problematic.3 -
Just got the first invoice from my new flat. Who the hell writes invoices in comic sans and why? Well, I know who now. But why? So it wouldn't look so serious? But there is only few things that are more serious than invoice! Invitation to funeral im comic sans will look even weirder, but still...6
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Ever had one of those days (or many of them) where all your jokes offend, all your interactions fall flat, none of your code works, and everything you try to do just goes to crap? Hoping it’s not just me.
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All this small node modules in the npm repository that is a fork of another with a name that sounds almost like the other. It's a jungle. Then things are abandoned or changing name. How much i like coding nodejs based projects I really feel bad of the total mess with that repo. Freedom and a lot of projects are good. But the mess is like the flat of a young student that hasn't been cleaned in a year.
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Me and my mates rent a flat near the beach to work together on some code. We usually live in Saigon Vietnam which is a very nusy and polluted city. So beach is nice.
However，we went from office houra to full on， waking up and having breakfast at 5pm some days and others ant 2Am....
Right now i love on 12 hour day cycles.
Anyyyways. I also learnt to code this year.
So right now i was dreaming... And i did not dreami was coding， but my dream seemed to be organized like a code. For a split second，my mind was between the two worlds.... I actually thought to myself that i was surely a robot!!!1 -
I don't have many regrets in life but one would be that I didn't learn something harder at uni. I should have picked something like CS or cryptography or something like that. Even flat out math or physics would have been super useful.
On the other hand, the finance stuff I now see as common sense doesn't seem so common after all so there's that, and it helped me too.
I learned economics with specialization in finance btw2 -
I fucking hate that ISPs just decide to block certain websites!
Sky for example blocks a bunch of things related to Tor. You can't go to the website, and can't even install stuff like tor browser from AUR, because it has tor in the download url. The connections simply time out.
Yes, I can use a VPN to install Tor, I'll probably have to do that. But fuck!!! Many VPN providers' websites are also blocked.
This seems to be common practive. In my previous flat we had Virgin. They blocked the website of all VPN providers they could find, and even kept me from establishing a connection to some of those providers. In that case I could donwload Tor (surprisingly) and then tried a bunch of clients until one of them worked.
It's fucking pretentious, and I don't think I'll find anything about blocking perfectly legal resources in any of their T&Cs.5 -
Applied in a company for a development work, as I have been a developer for some time now and want to switch jobs. The new company was larger and I had no experience of how processes work at larger companies.
I got a call and after the usual chit-chat I got asked if I would be interested in a support role. Since this was new to me I was afraid to flat-out say 'no', so I told them that I had applied to a developer role through their website. They said that theirs is a service-based company and interaction to clients is something everyone has to do. I started digging, as to why the current position is different from the one indicated on the website.
After some more conversation, the call ended.
Later I came to know from an acquaintance that there are both support and development roles at that company and since support positions are few people's "first choice" they first try all the candidates that call; those that fit into the support roles are assigned there.
Needless to say, the compensation and general nature of the support jobs is much inferior to proper development positions.
I dodged a bullet.1 -
!rant
*Coffee*
Yes / no ?
If yes, how many cups a day? What type do you fancy?
If no, any other ways you energize yourself up?
If buying from coffee shop I like to order flat whites, otherwise a lil skimmed milk and that's all.
Sorry if this has been discussed before16 -
I really like the concept of a "hackerspace" but they are far away from my flat and after working all day I don't really wanna travel across the city for hours to try things for an hour or two because I need to catch the train on time to get at least a bit of sleep.
I'm thinking of a "digital hackerspace" where ppl can "meet" and write code or build something(?). Does something like this exist?
If it doesn't I'd really like to build that kind of thing because I'd say I'm not the only person thinking like that 😅5 -
Having a fantastically shitty day and it’s currently only 08:05.
Last night spent the entire evening moving into my flat and building the colossal amount of Ikea furniture, ended up going sleep around 3am.
Because of my fabulous two and a half hour work commute to work everyday I have to leave my house at 6am. Three hours sleep? Excellent start.
Leave my house at 6am good start, manage to get on my first bus no problem, bus driver being the horrendous cunt he is slams on his brakes because going round a sharp corner at 40 mph when the speed limit is 20mph is a fucking brilliant idea you cunt, consequently it sends my protein shake all over me, my clothes and my laptop. Cheers cunt.
So now it’s half 7 and I’m at the train station & I realise I’ve left my wallet at home. You’ve. Got. To. Be. Fucking. Me.
8 o clock roles over train inductor comes round asking for tickets and the power hungry scrotum drops a £60 fine on me. Cheers. You. Cunt.
So now I’m wondering whether I should just save myself the hassle get off the train at the next stop and jump in front of an incoming train.
Today can suck a fat meaty fiery cock from hell. -
My motivation disappears day by day more when wfh. Always sitting in the same flat drives me crazy and I'm missing socializing (as a person more on the introvert side).3
-
Was driving home last night when I noticed that my car was slowly drifting side to side. It felt weird like when a tire is low/flat. So I gradually slowed down from 50mph to 40mph. Note, I did this carefully and slowly. My antilock brakes kicked in. Like holy hell how slick does a road have to be for a small deceleration like that to kick in antilocks?
So it made me think of a math question:
If a typically sized sedan (weighing 2 tons) decelerates from 50mph to 40mph and the antilock brakes kick in, what it the frictional coefficient of the surface of the road? Also assuming typical non-bald all season tires.
Multiple choice:
a) slick
b) really slick
c) REALLY FUCKING SLICK!7 -
My first exposure to computers?
My father had bought this new machine (windows 98 "new" of course) and we put it in a very moist place (some kind of halfway balcony) in our old flat.
...which was pretty stupid.
One day it made a loud nois, started smoking and stopped responding.
I loved the animated paperclip though! -
If you use exceptions for your data validation, I hate you. I hate you so much, in fact, that I will become famous. Then I can say to you that a famous person hates you. I will become president and the first executive order I sign will be to make the official policy of the United States that I hate you. I will invent a time machine so that I can go back in time and on every one of your birthdays, past present, and future, look you in the eyes and tell you I hate you. Then I will travel to your death bed and in your final breath I will tell you I hate you. I will change the timeline so that you will celebrate Christmas and believe in Santa and then tell your four year old self that Santa isn't real. I hope your kids never learn how to read, and if they already know how to read I hope they forget how to read and never learn how to read. I hope all of your friends become vegan, atheist, flat earth, crossfitters and insist on regailing you with their life style on your every meeting.
I guess what I'm saying is that I'm having a bad day.3 -
I still have no internet at my new home. The technician will be here in 5 weeks. So I spend my time in the old flat sitting on the floor to get work done.2
-
I got yet another scammer calling me, this time it's something wrong with my computer LOL calling from Microsoft.
I flat out said this:
OH so you're a scammer right? Because there is nothing wrong with my PC.
I know I was supposed to post the other number on 4chan, but where exactly would I do so? there are so many categories and I'm new to 4chan
The guy hung up immediately!
Here ya go: 05967175950 bastard deserves to go to jail scamming normal PC users out of their information!3 -
I am forced to work with a client's notoriously slow SOAP api. Slow in this case is 1.5-2s per request.
The api is structured rather... creatively... at the same time. So we have to bombard it with thousands of requests to build our data base with historical SOAP data. Also the data sometimes is a couple of hours late, giving a flat line (all values at 0) until retroactively fixing the output for the same requests.
So to fill one dev data base with a year's worth of historical data (nice to have when testing a dashboard application) we hammer the api with ~20k requests (~1 million if we want to be thorough).
Best thing about that: There is no staging/test api and the prod api seems not to handle lots of requests at the same time very well...
Latest thought: Maybe we could put a varnish cache in front of the SOAP for testing. Better have wrong data, than nothing at all and we don't kill the prod clients every time we ramp up a new instance.
Also that would dramatically decrease the 4.2 hours of data pumping to about 7 minutes after the first run. -
I'm literally in pain right now and not a thing I can do.
If I eat whatever the fuck is wrong with my jaw (cracked tooth or cavity) starts throbbing from the chewing action, in addition to coming on for no reason at all. vision-blurred-waves-of-nausea levels of pain. Enough that I'm alternating between laughter and almost tears.
I've downed four aspirin and it's still just barely enough WITH the numbing gel.
Got lock jaw something aweful.
Barely convinced a dentists office, which is supposed to be closed (and cancelled all it's appointments due to corona), to come in during quarantine. But thats monday. Dont kno how I'll make it. They do payment plans but I'm flat broke because I decided to pursue programming right when all this fucking bullshit went down.
And all I can think of while im typing this is the pain.
And fuck me I cant do weed because my backup plan if I fail at coding is the military.
And this stray dog that the neighbors 'adopted' but leave outside WONT STOP FUCKING BARKING.
Fuck me. Just kill me now. Do it.
Gonna go watch comedy because I read a research paper that says genuine laughter raises pain threshold by up to 10%.12 -
I don't like most of the people around me (programmers). I find most of them boring and with a really "flat" personality with no interests other than coding. I enjoy coding myself but sometimes I feel that I don't belong to this community. There is more in life than just your job.1
-
I've decided to, as an educational exercise, implement DEFLATE compression / decompression and zip file format, and eventually tackling Excel format (which is just a .zip) so I can generate true excel spreadsheets (instead of .csv files) client-side using JavaScript.
Are there already libraries that do this? Yes, but then I don't get to try to implement these interesting algorithms. Is it currently 1 AM? Yes. Do I have work tomorrow? Also yes.
If I don't just fall flat on my face, I'll post updates!1 -
Best
typescript - I needed to learn it for a project and I like it, I know java and javascript and it is something in between of those two that makes writing enterprise web applications easier, it’s nice that you can debug it directly in chrome, it makes things easier
Worst
docker, Dockerfiles - devops tools - amount of shell commands inside them and mangled && to make everything running in one file layer makes those unreadable mess that you need to think twice to understand, there is no debugger for it, you do everything with try and see what happens, there is actually no real dev toolset for devops and that sucks, since you got builder images that makes things more mangled than before, it’s clearly missing some external officially approved scripting language or at least
FUNCTION and
WITH LAYER and indentation / parentheses syntax and they still trying to make it flat, why are you doing that ?
as a result next to Dockerfile cause you can’t import multiple ones you get bunch bash scripts with mangled syntax and other crap that is glued together to make a monster - and this runs most of current software on this planet2 -
When you spent two hours of debugging because that one variable somehow has the value of NULL which can't be because it is initialized with another value and you realized you mistyped the name on one of your procedures, so VBA automatically instantiates a new variable and initializes it
-
i am i such a shitty situation. i have recently started to love my job as i find the work to be lesser and lesser stressful. i finish my tickets in 2-3 hours exch day, and i am almost free after 3 pm and officially free after 6.30 pm every day (kinda officially, as i have set an unavailable notice on my calendar for 6.30 to 8.30 and after that no one really is online).
i get time to go out, jog, play with my pets do home taks, and even study sometime.
everything is going great except 2 things: they are ending the remote work policy in 2022 and giving esops instead of appraisal/promotion :'( will have to either switch or go live in the city where my office is, which is the most expensive city in my country ( and maybe in top 10 most expensive in the world) + very unsafe. and its obvious that my boss won't be letting me code lying flat on a mattress with a bag of cheetos and in just boxers and flip-flops2 -
I remember back then when we were building an E-commerce website. To maintain good performance the boss insisted using flat table. This was also applied to other projects like GPS. That was already 2013 when NoSQL databases like MongoDB was around already. His concern is he didn't like to risk on new technologies and it would cost money for training instead of using the existing "MySQL" and Microsoft SQL Server.
Everything I learned from that guy was just poop. -
I've never made crepe pancakes in a microwave before....
But when your pancake matter is too liquid and you don't have any flour to fix it nor a flat pancake and your kiddo is hangry - you've gotta engineer your way out.14 -
!dev (feel free ignore my rambling)
Fuck my piece of shit landlord that doesn't want me to provide a next tenant because they already have someone (without visiting, I believe they have some shady dealing since I noticed a pattern in regards to the last two flats that changed tenants) and doesn't give a shit about the kitchen I had built in / says "maybe you can leave it [for free] or maybeee the owner will take it but don't expect as much as 500 or 600€ and whatever the owner proposes is non negotiable [...] if you wanna take it out we'll buy a new one" (i.e. fuck you we rather pay 4k for a new one than give you the 2k it's worth)
(╯° □°） ╯︵ ┻━┻
aaaaargh this certainly doesn't help my stress levels which are already 11/10 with the flat search1 -
Ok so I have never really used motors before so I have no idea what I am doing, but I was wondering how to calculate how much weight a motor could move.
Say I have a trolley that weights ~300kg, and I attached a motor to each of its 4 wheels how would I calculate if it would move/what would be needed to move it, and how would I know the RPM of the motors. (Friction can be ignored and it would be on a flat surface)
Also, if I added 4 more motors to turn the wheels, since its just moving a small wheel and it wont be supporting the weight, could it be weaker than the other motors, or would the force that the wheel is experiencing from the trolleys weight effect the turning of the motor.1 -
Curved or flat screen?**
Also, suppose its curved, have you tried that in portrait? Any thoughts / advice?
For second screen5 -
Alot of hacks around here!
An extract of some of those:
-Couldn't time the shutter right when photographing lightning. Used my oscilloscope to measure its electrical influence and anytime a peak is detected, it actuates the shutter.
-Using a lock as a heatsink for a overheating display driver ic.
-Hacking two USB ports together to get more power.
-Display module was too tall with header pins. Moved its back components to the main board and soldered the module flat onto it by flowing solder down its connecting holes.
-Not me but still interesting: Back on ye olde times when paid tv contained a disruptive H or VSYNC signal only their paid tv box could filter, my electronics prof. analyzed it and built the required comb filter on his own. Even sold some on the black market. -
This is a bit offtopic .
So Today I found that my family except my mother goes against me .
And that too just because of my grandfather's elder brother who is a bustard and once in the past he tried to attack on my father because of property issues and my father was one of the property holder .
What a family I got . Feels like sick . I don't wanna live with them anymore neither my mother . They ( my so called family ) literally said so many disturbing things that can kill a mentally weak person instantly . And me ?
Well , being just a boy in the home had to listen and defend .
One more lession I got from this incident that
Being aged doesn't mean someone has the proper matured knowledge .
How could a grandfather protect his bustard brother when he knows his brother Tried attack on his son .
This is so toxic .
I'll leave the rest for you guys's opinion .
I've decided to rent a flat somewhere else and live their with my parents .
Yeah Parents , because I can't just ignore my father . He alsl took care of me from the childhood like a gentleman but family pressure and other things couldn't let him decide the right move .
I don't know if I ever be able to look for this so called family .3 -
I swear both gl_PrimitiveID and the noiseX functions don't fucking work. No reason at all, they just don't want to work. Attached is a screenshot with a """""random""""" shade of blue per vertex (with flat interpolation) based on screen pos
1 -
I was just about home from a long day of work and just blew a tire on my truck. Not flat, blew.
That wasn’t the bad part. I was so excited to get home since I figured out a bug in my code while I was at work that I had been trying to fix for a while now.
By the time I got my tire on, I had no idea how to solve the bug. -
so far so good... or is it?
after a party-beach-mountain-beach session :
the mood is high
the money is low
the relationship is at crisis ( the gf wants a baby and I'm not sure if brake up isn't better for me )
jobless on the way losing the flat too...
anyone any advice?26 -
40k vs 1.6m city, same pay, same position, same company - life million times more easy and much, much cheaper. Could change a flat to a huge house easily. goto or !goto8
-
Just moved flats with a last minute confirmation, sadly the flat in question is not eligible for fibre broadband (high-rise) so had to settle for good old ASDL.
Find a good deal (as all providers are offering the same speeds/technology, all ASDL broadband is provided in the UK through BT landlines) to discover there is a mandatory 2 week waiting period to switch over ownership...
Fine, will wait 10 days for internet (torture except from dev rant on mobile internet, thanks for being text only), box arrives 3 days ago stating not to plug it in until activation date...
Fine I shall wait, today I get impatient and setup the router without connecting it to the landline so I can use the WiFi to connect to my Nas etc, login to WiFi navigate to Nas IP .... Automatic reroute to "login" page "We have detected your router is not connected to the landline, ensure your router is properly connected". Try logging into management site, works, change admin password etc. No setting to disable "self heal" functionality. No setting to setup static routes for my lab router, No setting to switch to modem only mode for when I inevitably buy a new wireless router for when this piece of crap can't handle the internal network traffic...
All this for a pitiful 10/? Mbps average, I want my fibre connection back :'(1 -
Well, I just had something negative to say about the whole flat earth theory followed by me expressly saying I'm not looking for an argument
Interpretation: I just stirred the hornet's nest... Let's see what happens now7 -
!rant
So I trained this model, there must be the training gone wrong. Like how is a flat a Bottle?
13 -
I absolutely love how capitalism fell on its face when greed went far beyond anyone's imagination.
Corporate wants all the money to themselves and wants to give out as little to us peasants. Housing prices went beyond most people's reach. Banks almost never gives loans. Inflation and interest rates are up everywhere.
So now people are like "Alright I'll live in this rented flat and not have any kids" and now the birth rate is the lowest in the last 50 years and this is reducing the size of the talent pool for these companies.
I saw an interview of Elon Musk where he went like "We don't have an over-population problem, but its actually an under-population problem.", and this is the first thought that struck my head.
What rich people don't understand, is if they want to be rich and stay rich, a significant amount of people have to stay poor. And due to low birth rates, this isn't going to last long.17 -
Join a new project & client site
Been a week and still no access, so no work
Told to read up on various subjects
Told to go back to internal office and talk with coworkers tomorrow
Get a flat tire on the way in, $200
Get it fixed
Comtinue to office
No one knows what I'm talking about
Call boss, no answer
What is my life, I just wanna to development -
If you want to add stunning visualization to your data you might want to try http://www.glimpsedash.com developed by @trostik.
I have been using it the past few days and it has Great potential. You can easily visualize data and present on any device. I am using a large flat screen, laptop and phone in my testing.
The API is easy to pass data to. Today I created multiple events and displayed my data using the included pins and a few of my own.
Interestingly when I started testing Saturday I could only pass data using latitude and longitude. That was fine but I also have data points I wanted to pass by IP address. I went back in the system later in the day and @trostik had added this functionality! Maybe the system read my mind. So, I have now been passing latitude-longitude AND IP's to my dashboard map.
Looking forward to continuing to work with http://www.glimpsedash.com and hearing other dev opinions. -
I hate those "simple DIY" instructables. Just had to build something I had to get. Found out one "simple DIY". It requires owning a power drill with a table mount. And a pipe threading machine. Yes, I surely have a drill mount for drilling thru some steel, I know how to use a CNC machine, and maybe have a little metal foundry in my flat. But hey, it's a DIY not 'go to nearest store and buy that friggin piece you need' so you should have prepared yourself for some difficulties.
It's not supposed to be easy!
I still wonder why the author not assumed everyone own a metal foundry, after all. It would be much easier for all of us.
And I ended using PCV, glue, and a spare bottle. Had to buy drill for glass, less than $3. Wasted few bottles to cut out what I wanted. Beer was quite good, thou.1 -
Tried to find and download drivers for a Dell laptop, but no matter what I got redirected to pages in Finnish. There's a country selector - also in Finnish. However, in my country we speak Swedish. Åland Islands is not an option in the country list, and Sweden is not called anything even remotely close to Sverige or Sweden in Finnish...so unless you happen to know Finnish you'll have to pick a country haphazardly until you find a language where you can at least understand the word Sweden. Once finally on the Swedish page, if you click your way forward on the support pages, you end up on the Finnish page again...AAARGH! Dell, if you want to be helpful then do it right! Once again, in Åland Islands, we speak Swedish. Even if Dell would acknowledge my country, making any assumptions about the user's language merely based on their geographical location, is flat out stupid! Have those morons at Dell never heard about multi-lingual countries? Or commuters? Tourists? Newsflash: In AD 2016 the world is multicultural and people also tend to travel abroad.
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To the people who so blindly hate apple: Name my other choices...
Winblows is a bloated system with no real package manager, i can't stop their endless updates, it gets viruses so easily, that you have to install an antivirus, and i hate their flat design, and linux is for haX0r kids who wanna look cool, it's just not practical for personal use.11 -
Seems no matter how much I earn I'm always fucked for money. Guess I'm shit financially, even though I live in the worst area in the worst flat5
-
In the past, apps I've written have used a flat file backend. It's very fast, but obviously clunky to have a big structure of flat files for an app. It ran circles around framework-based RDBMS backends, as performance is concerned, but again, it was clunky. Managing backups and permissions on tens or hundreds of thousands of small files was no fun. Optimizing code for scaling was fun- generating indexes, making shortcuts -but something was still missing. Early in 2017 I discovered redis. A nosql backend that just stores variables and lives almost entirely in memory. Excellent modules and frameworks for every language. It was EXACTLY what I'd needed, even though I didn't know I did. I spent a good deal of time in 2017 converting apps from flat files to redis, and cackled with glee as they became the apps I wanted them to be. Earlier this week, I started building my first app that started with redis, instead of flat files, and I can't stop gushing to anyone who will listen. Redis for president!
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I remember coding a hierarchical website crawling interpreter without using TDD in a library class.
Standing whole day in the flat, think about the working code have to be written.
It was like:
1 -
The importance of not using static salt / IVs.
I've been working on a project that encrypts files using a user-provided password as key. This is done on the local machine which presents some challenges which aren't present on a hosted environment. I can't generate random salt / IVs and store them securely in my database. There's no secure way to store them - they would always end up on the client machine in plain text.
A naive approach would be to use static data as salt and IV. This is horrendously harmful to your security for the reason of rainbow tables.
If your encryption system is deterministic in the sense that encrypting / hashing the same string results in the same output each time, you can just compile a massive data set of input -> output and search it in no time flat, making it trivial to reverse engineer whatever password the user input so long as it's in the table.
For this reason, the IVs and salt are paramount. Because even if you generate and store the IVs and salt on the user's computer in plaintext, it doesn't reveal your key, but *does* make sure that your hashing / encryption isn't able to be looked up in a table1 -
Eclipse you slow sack of shit I can't even try to twiddle settings to stop you from trying to link viewer selection with current editor and then I find out in already in flat package displaying mode.1
-
https://github.com/PwnFunction/...
Who led this flattening user input object into the Next.js codebase, also thinking that `runContext` is going to make better companion than `eval`?
Yet another reason to switch over Sapper and other Svelte minimalistic solutions, in my opinion.
1 -
So, I'm bored at work (contract ends in one month and finished everything I could do), so I started searching for a new flat for September.
In France we have a website called "LeBonCoin" which is like craigslist, people post available flats.
But, being a nerd, instead of searching manually (peasants) (and also because I have so much free time on my hands), I coded a web scrapper in Python. It gets all the info (monthly rent, description,...)
So far so good, now need a way to make it calculate the distance between the flat and my next work place (for biking), and the city center.3 -
MongoDB database with really relational data. One main collection that had refs to four other collections, all of those references necessary to populate data for a page view. Complicated aggregate to populate all the necessary data and then filter based on criteria selected by the user. And then the client decides that he wants the information to be sortable by column. Some of those columns are fields on the main model, no problem. Others are fields on the refs, which is more of a problem. Especially given that these refs aren’t one single object. They’re arrays of objects.
The revelation was that I could just write an aggregate function to flat map the main collection, returning only the fields necessary for the search, and output it to a new collection and instead use that new collection for displaying and filtering/sorting search results.
But you can’t run the aggregate all the time, you surely say. If anything changes in the main collection, it won’t be reflected in the search results!
Mongoose post(‘findOneAndUpdate’) hooks, my friends. Mongoose post(‘findOneAndUpdate’) hooks.
Never been so happy to have a thing working properly in my life.2 -
Having to work with my colleagues you doesn't believe on Dino's, satellites and big time believer in the flat earth (even hung up a map of it and stuff..) aaaaand.. him not understand a single proton-sized amount about IT but ignores my advice when he gets issues with his computer...
Ps. And yes, he has smelled alcohol as well, after a talk with the boss nothing has happened..
Pps.. FFS..NO not every thing is fake you stupid excuse of a human being with flattened peanut brain.. this is not the bloody Truman show (although good movie)
Ppps. Forgot the why.. why.. why?! Well.. isn't that the question with this guy.. (╯°□°）╯︵( .o.) -
New job, new city, my job is very good & coworkers as well, but since I'm an introvert I'm not good at making new friends, I'm not socializing other than talking to my colleagues at during office hours. After office I come at my flat and do nothing wish I was good enough to have friend. Or some girl to hangout with its so lonely during weekends.3
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Goal for 2019
- finish project I started in Q4 2018 and launch website with it
- maybe find some non invasive way to monetize this and earn some money
If I got time and power left :
- learn more autodesk fusion,
- design robotic arm using above tool
- print it in 3d
- program it with ROS arduino/rpi
- put it on some wheels
- make it driving around my flat
- make it pick up stuff for me -
I feel accomplished. After arguing with my family for a month or so, I finally solved the WiFi issues in my room! (We live in a flat. And the thick, concrete walls eat the signal super well)
I used to have 2 MBs downstream at most, with very common disconnects and general connection issues.
Now, just yesterday, I laid about 50 meters of ethernet cable all the way from my room to the other end of our house. Laid the cable along the top of our walls so that mom did not have to constantly whine how bad it looks.
Biggest issues were doors (Parents refuse to drill into the walls here, they tend to crumble a lot), but ended up running it under the door just tightly enough that the doors don't squeeze it in any way.
It works great! The cable is almost invisible, and now, my downstream is 30 MBps!
The only downside is that I used an old wifi router in my room that supports only 802.11b/g/n, not ac.2 -
I just spent 6 hours searching for the reason my code ONLY works when stepping through the breakpoints. Turns out I just had to add a single line of code to my procedure (chartObject.Activate) to make it work. I'd be lost without those 3 year old posts on some shady Excel VBA forums.
Thanks for documenting that, Microsoft! -
Does anyone know how i can get rid of the rounded window corners?
using elementaryOS with no theme, though i plan to either add Flatabulous or Arc as a theme.
I want sharp corners, not this baby-proofed round mess i currently have going on 😂1 -
!dev
Colleague alerted me to the fact I got a flat tire. Won't be able to slip out until my lunch break to check on the damage. It's been an expensive few months including this one so I'm going to have to dip into savings to cover the repairs. It's a small car so I don't have a spare and I don't have a repair kit but hopefully roadside assistance will be able to help. Never been in this situation before so I'm feeling like a dumb newbie.7 -
Dear Microsoft, I see what you were going for, and I love you for it; but for the love of god, please fucking fix the clusterfuck that is Nuget.
I use a private feed for client work, and I have the public source registered too, so why would installing a new .core template from Nuget fail just because it tried the private feed first and shit itself?
It really shouldn’t be this hard.
Sincerely,
Brolls -
So got first invoice for Internet in my new flat. Via e-mail with winmail.dat attached. WTF? Send them reply that their mailing system is broken. They replied that *I* probably have wrongly setup *Outlook* and sent me instructions how to configure my Outlook. Thank you, my mutt us fine and your instructions wouldn't work. Sent them another reply that I'm happy that they know the answer and that they should apply it to their setup as my mail setup is correct. Got e-mail with pdf. No wonder those guys don't suppprt IPv6 nor DNSSEC if they have troubles using plain e-mail. Maybe I should check whether they have DKIM or SPF and do some little evil...1
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So, I am fresh CS grad working at his first dev job at a pretty small startup (less than 20 people).
The Engineering team has 7 people and it's relatively flat.
At times, the senior engineers in my team, have 1:1's with the CEO and (what I feel is) some decisions are taken according to that meeting.
I feel kind of uncomfortable about this secrecy etc. even though I know that at least right now I am not experienced enough to be a "decision-maker".
Is this normal? Idk if this is how politics in the workplace happens.. looking for advice on what I should do regarding this..
Also, it doesn't help that I am literally the only Software Engineer (all other Engineers are Senior Software Engineers or CTO) so there is this generational gap which has limited my ability to "really connect" with anyone on the team.4 -
AAAARGHH!!! It happens every now and then that when I open a window in a Windows application, the window opens outside the display area, on a non-existing display to the right of my primary screen. There is no other way to access the newly opened window than to go to "Screen resolution" and swap screens 1 and 2 such that the secondary screen thinks it is to the right of the primary screen (although physically it stays to the left of the primary screen). And then, once I've got hold of the window, I swap the screens back. It's just so incredibly annoying and a complete waste of time. This is staring to really get on my nerves! >:(8
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Spend 1 hour learning to configure networking interfaces via command line on an ubuntu VM for home use.
Can't ping anything.
Double check /etc/network/interfaces, restart box, check loopback interface functions, check physical cabling.
Realize that VM is attached to a separate virtual switch.
Virtual switch is tagged for Vlan 2, connected router is a flat topology.
Face palm. -
nice, the way too old and confused woman i have to do work for suddenly remembered she has a meeting to showcase my mid-development app next tuesday.
she tells me on a friday the week before where i got holidays to have people build stuff in my (new) flat and i have a 1 week work travel thing next week...
i hate people ugh.
sure i can do this till tuesday, not like that shit takes weeks to get stable >;(1 -
DevMD. Anyone know a good little finger prosthetic? I have a CAPSLOCK hyperkey.
It is now exercise to keep my left hand flat and it reflexively clenches into a fist. Please help.2 -
That wonderful feeling when you modify a piece of code that you worked hard to get it down to run in 3 minutes flat take 8 minutes when you add a little fault tolerance to it 😑5
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Afraid of setting a new goal because as soon as I do I probably wont work towards it. I have this rebellious habit of not doing what I set out to some times. It really stunts my progress and is just flat out irritating.5
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Can someone suggest me a quick way to create some svg files or convert some basic flat shapes like image of a redcircle or a blue heart into .SVGs?
I don't have any experience in graphics development, so online/offline tools or converstion engines would be also nice.13 -
When you receive a psd file with a million layers, when all you really need from it is the colour values and what font/size they've used and some measurements. You'll just do it all properly with CSS. Better off with a flat png or 2 with transparency and some original vectors.
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I Paid 32€ for this world atlas.
When I'm in the Premium area I can only see maps in a craptastic quality.
When I download your "Online Globe" software thing I can't make it flat, but can draw on it (it's buggy, slow and weired to use) and your menu from 1990 I guess don't has a print option.
And when I want to use your digital Version of the atlas I would need a license for 4€??? -
Starting the day with a coworker's message filled with incompetence, assumptions, and flat-out ignorance.
Happy clown day!2 -
I’ve had knee pain for as long as I can remember, it’s just a part of having flat feet. Last night the pain flared up around 10:30pm. Went to bed at midnight hoping it would get better. I had no sleep, the pain is everywhere. My knees, my back, shoulders, head. My bones ache constantly and I don’t know what to do. I gave in and took a painkiller about an hour ago, just took an anti-inflammatory. I don’t know what’s going on, all I know is pain. My bones feel like they’re about to shatter and it’s really difficult to not go to the worst case scenario right now7
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Any devs here from Canada or who have worked there?... know any?
I'm strongly considering immigrating to Canada to give my future family a better chance at life (My current country has a highly unstable political climate).
Just wondering how the dev lifestyle is living there (for the average dev) i.e.
- Quality of life - I know I can't buy a house, but what can I rent? A house/ flat/ box?
- Hows the dev scene / culture?
- Work life balance / Work environment frustrations (I hear they are very politically correct and this may be a conflict with my blunt nature)
- Income Tax vs Government service delivery, I expect tax will be high due to free health care/ education but are they worth it? nb; any service delivery beats what I get...
Any feedback is welcome and will be appreciated.16 -
Ubuntu 20.4 is not very cool.
It might look "polished" in some (barely noticeable) areas , which doesn't matter to me as i already used better themes and icon packs. Moreover they tried make ui and icons flwt which looks terrible. It feels like to ubuntu's designers , flat= every icon in a dark gray color. Am not a fan of black topbar either, the old darkish looked much better
The worst thing is that now i have to go through multiple start screens since my laptop is dualboot :/ .
Its now like : black screen > (hp+ubuntu logo) + grub > (hp) > (hp+ubuntu logo + loading icon) > lockscreen > my system
Earlier it was just hp> grub>lockscreen>my system. The fast start up was one of my favourite features of Ubuntu, now its a million loading screens. The lockscreen is cool tho6 -
so anyone can share their experience on living away from home in a shared flat and working remotely?
i will be in a similar situation in upcoming months . my office will be 2 day wfo nd 4 day wfh.
for wfo, i think i will be coming home back at 7pm , prepping dinner doing some additional stuff (house chores, refreshing, maybe gym, relaxing, tv etc) and be sleep at 11 pm. i still need to figure out a morning routine tho.
but problem will be in wfh days and Holidays. how do you guys pass that time?6 -
Debugging a feature that has a reciprocal effect on an other feature is like being given the task to make a toggle switch perfectly flat.
"Oh look, I fixed that bug in feature A. But fuck, now there is a bug in feature B. Perfect, now the bug in feature B is gone. Ah crap now feature A is broken again"
FML -
Update on this;
https://devrant.com/rants/5967284/...
Since Saturday morning my throat has been feeling like I’ve chugged bleach. My eardrums feel like they’re gonna pop at any moment. I just got home from a doctors appointment. I have fucking covid. I have so little covid specific symptoms that I almost didn’t get tested, doc only tested on a hunch. The only time I’m around people without a mask is at the office so someone at work must have given me the big-sick. If it wasn’t for the vaxx it probably would have been in my lungs by now.
Imagine being such a loser that you get covid this late in the damn game. Goddamnit6 -
is there a Go module for editing Flat Open Document Text? I'll like to edit placeholder text from a fodt file and send the results to thecodingmachine/gotenberg to convert the file to a PDF
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Studying information technology, working as a devops guy and in parallel paying a flat for my girlfriend and me, as well as a car and motorcycle.
Just struggling as there is not much spare time for personal projects. -
Tried installing Arch the whole day... Always crashing at the booting sequence due to nouveau failure. "Pointer to TDMS table invalid" and "Pointer to flat panel table invalid"... Can't even login into the shell.
Fuck this shit... Has anyone tried Devuan? -
!dev
fuckfuckfuck
My studies at the university begin in two weeks in a city 4 hours from where I live and I still have no place to stay! I am such an idiot for applying for appartments and rooms too late... and when I did, I only applied for 2 or 3 at a time and now I didn't get any of them. I had to travel there two times now already, each trip cost me 100€ and my time is running out.
FUUUUUUUUCK I hate myself right now, this is so typical for me...
I really hope I learn from this.6 -
R&D Lead Architect: "We want this next gen platform to be all AWS."
Us: "Alright, can we talk about automated testing?"
R&D Lead Architect: "Sure, for automated tests you'll want to just dump events from your system into a flat file on S3. It's readable with Microsoft Excel."
Us now: still here.
R&D Lead Architect now: not here.
:) -
During my education there was this "Exception('Smoking hot girl')", and also very kind/sweet I used to help a lot, and tutor best practices on whatever project she would throw herself into.
(It should be noted that half of our teachers where incompetent, or flat out wrong, so we kinda had to use more than usual time helping other people)
But being a shy guy, and having the spine of a worm, I got stuck as a 'personal teacher' for a good period of time. Never had the guts to ask her out.
Not sure if it's selfish to focus your attention on one person because you liked the girl, that's a lot of time I could've used to help others. Or if I should be proud of what I did, I do believe she'd dropped out otherwise....
But nonetheless I did enjoy the time.1 -
Don't really know if this is an appropriate question to throw on here but what the heck.
So I'm thinking about trying to look into the dating scene again. I'm in my late 20's and about a year away from graduating college so I figured I have the time to try it again. The thing is the last time I was dating I was a freshmen and I had been in a long term thing but it flat-lined a year ago. My life is different now and meeting people has changed too.
How does someone who's a career focused developer find someone in the dating pool post-college? For an FYI I've done mainstream sites like eHarmony with a moderate amount of success but nothing that really lasted beyond 2 meetups. (Meeting people at random locations for the sake of it has never been my thing so bars are sort of a non starter).
We love getting feedback, so I'd appreciate any I get from you guys. :) -
I’ve watched the Vsauce episode about rotation again the other day.
The one where Michael explains how gyroscopes were used to measure the rate of rotation of the earth.
And I realized that this is another nice proof against the flat earth crap.
And it should be easy to test, too.
Somewhat related, the cloud formations due to the coriolis effect can be seen as a proof (for the globe) as well.2 -
😤 So I just got a flat tire at night and have incomplete set of tools to change a tire. Good thing my father helped me. It was tiring and gruesome. I suspected someone intentionally did it in the parking lot beside the mall.😡
I'll buy tomorrow a crocodile jack and complete set of tools. Also, I will practice more on changing tires because my father did not teach me and I just learned through self study. But self study isn't enough, gotta practice some more. I hope you will get some lesson to my mistakes. -
What's with the resurgence of mechanical keyboards? Things are supposed to get better, not recycled.
This is technology, not fashion.
For me, the flat scissor switch keys on laptops have the best feel, speed and ease.8 -
The hardwork to find a good flat in the allocated city 😓 BTW any advice on buying a good android phone between 20k to 25k? (upcoming fortnite compatibility will be appreciated) I am moving from windows phone 😅4
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!rant, reality check.
This may sound odd, but sometimes i deny wanting to learn a term or meaning of something because it is a severed thing from my knowledge.
E.I.: i read "Hey you can use LINQ for this!" as i am programming in C#. I do not mind reading up on what LINQ is, why LINQ is etc.
But, if i run into something like hey you can use XAML or whatever the hell, which i can't mentally link to anything i know, i flatout even refuse to look it up, or try to find out if it is related to my skills and if not, flat out ignore anything besides the basic concept.
Eventually i could still end up learning it, but if it doesn't click from where i am at right now as a programmer, i just skip it as unrelated noise.
Technically i deny to learn something, making me a bad "student" in a way. Otherwise i use my time optimally to only expand my knowledge on the borders or my current knowledge.
Does anyone else does this? Anyone longer then 4 years? Does anyone also apply this outside of programming? How did all that go for you? Is it a bad habbit or a good one?2 -
On science and religion. Inspied by a comment in another rant, credits to @Commodore and @cjbatz
According to Godel's incompletness theorems, aritmetics is incomplete and inconsistent. Therefore, any science based on aritmetics (dude, like, every) is also.
Therfore, as a mathematician, I must accept that there are things that cannot be proven by current science, and that there are statements that are true and false at the same time in current science.
So, science can't prove religious beliefs? It cant prove P vs NP either. It might someday. Science couldn't prove earth wasn't flat for a looong time. Or Pythagoras theorem.
But more importantly, if science can prove something, doesn't mean it can't prove the exact oposite.
This way of thinking allows for any and all ridiculous beliefs, under the shield of "it might be proven one day" or "doent't mean opposite isn't true also" but kerp in mind that there are complete and consistent sciences and proofs in them. Check if something's been proven to exist or not exist without doubt.11 -
so am I the only one who prefers these thin flat keyboards over those big clunky mechanical ones? because I just love how they feel and sound and I can't stand it when I have to type on a big keyboard :P2
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I recently got into an argument with a random person on internet about the new Corsair XENEON FLEX OLED, the new fancy one that you can make curved or flat…
In my opinion it doesn't make any sense, curved is better, in particular with a 45" display, so it's a cool technology but useless in this case.
Apparently this guy thinks "for work is better flat, for gaming curved".
It made me thinking… really?
There is someone out there (and maybe here) that uses huge flat monitors or when have 2 puts them parallels to each other and not turned towards himself at an angle?
It seemed a random bullshit, but maybe I could find some valid arguments why "flat is better for work" or not. 🤔12 -
Cross training is a flat out myth. It can’t be done unless the trainees are going to be working on the system day in and day out. How is someone expected to know a system they’ve only seen in presentations six months ago? There are developers that work on a system and ones that don’t - it’s that simple.2
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i don't really care.
plusses abd minuses, comments and reactions.
none of it affects my shitty life in aby way, sane as nothing else does.
everything is a Skyrim quest. paper flat cutout pretenses of people trying ajd failing to convince me this is a life, this is reality, i should care.
failing.
it's all just subpar pretense.4 -
I have an issue that I just can't shake and wondered if anyone had any insight.
I'm currently working for a company that is going through a ruff patch when it comes to google rankings dropping off.
I'm the developer who is rebuilding his sites, I've told him that his site is very flat as in no content and he need to start writing articles within his industry.
No buying strength at all just a catalogue of products categorised.
But the guy doesn't get it and insists in spending money on PPC Google shopping which gets him a 83% bounce rate.
I keep going on and on at him how he is doing to much advertising and not enough content marketing but he just doesn't get it.
What would you do ?.1 -
Internal: a program that takes files (or a zip/7z file with files in it) and loads them into a database/table in file created order per a json-based map file because flat file loading in SSIS is horrible.
Public: ChromeKiosk https://github.com/benjaminkwilliam... -
!rant , a question (on the end, after explanation) :
https://youtube.com/watch/...
this is a result of (according to my time tracking) 10 hours and 50 minutes of coding.
captures mouse cursor into list of points, uses those to triangulate a flat polygon (manually doing all the mesh math of ordering them correctly, earclip triangulating, and indices generating), as well as to create inner and outer outline (no official algorithm, my own which I came up with on the spot) of a certain thickness.
(the outline drawing is just for debug yet, now I'm going to extrude them upwards to form walls)
soooo... I've been always curious about how effective/fast/efficient of a programmer I am, but it's usually hard to measure/compare, so I thought I'd try this way: how long do you think implementing something like this would take YOU?
thanks :)5 -
Something interesting i learned today about the html5 video tag is that even if preload is set it's up to the player the render engine is using to fetch the index of the file first as with mp4 this is usually at the end of the file.
This means that for Blink and Gecko most likely fetch this first themselves. But for webkit it opens in quicktime on mobile devices which you cannot pass parameters to and flat out waits for the entire stream to start playing.1 -
"The window screen is the Earth's boundary", said a flat earther using Google Maps.
By the way, they don't zoom it out that much.1 -
is there a fucking utility that will flat out list all installed libraries on a linux system and if cmake and/or pkg-config can find them ???17
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Before he began dropping the 20K proposed to remodel my flat, I told my father I much preferred a contractor who was recommended by someone I knew, as opposed to using a big corporation like Home Depot. FAMOUS LAST... a neighbour in my building highly recommended the contractor we chose. And, week 7 [or is it 8?] of what was proposed to take no longer than two weeks has begun afresh!
On Friday the fellow who is the owner of the contract remodeling company was here touching the paint. He was here because I forbade the two painters he sent to do the initial painting job.
My internet cut out suddenly around 1300 Friday. He set to leave for the weekend shortly after that. I mentioned the outage to him. The essence of his reply was that there was no way it could have had anything to do with him. The following day, my internet provider sent a tech out to diagnose the problem. What was the problem? The head of the remodeling firm removed a face plate from the wall where there were telephone wires and disconnect them when he tore the wires as he replaced the face plate.
Although the tech told me he wasn't going to charge my account the $85.00 fee for his services because the outage was caused within my flat, I wish to be sure of this. Which brings us to the punchline.
My internet provider is a lame ass business model, dreamed up by a squint-eyed ex-circus monkey, never well endowed in the top story, and now just plain sad.
There were some 911 outages in Washington State last Thursday night. All during the day Friday when you dialled their freephone #. the recorded announcement, before saying anything else, told you they were experiencing heavier than usual call volumes, and my wait would be greater than `10 minutes. Fine. What fried my La Croix silk was that after their customer service dept closed for the weekend, that outgoing message remained.
Today, I wanted to contact my provider to see if they would know if the $ was going to be charged to my account. After pressing the 'send' key, my computer came back with an error message, saying they were having technical difficulties. So, I went on over to the 'chat' page. There's nothing to click on to take me to this enfabled location. So, can't reach them by phone unless I want to hear, every 30 seconds whether or not I wish to, how sorry they are for my delay.
A few years ago I would've used this as an excuse to have a technicolour meltdown. The reason I'm posting this is that I am now able to see beforehand what I'll be doing to myself getting upset over the circumstances. When I do reach somebody, I'm going to tell them as lightly as possible, that if they were an airline, I wouldn't board any of their aircraft. Ever. -
Can we say that "a basic website is a type of app that serves documents", implying a website is more specific than an app, and the most common type of data served is in the form of a document (html, pdf, json, xml).
I'm trying to see how this argument does for/against flat-file cms'es in specific/ general cases per type of app/ website.1 -
Was generating a JSON based config manually to be used by a script another dev wrote - only to be criticized for using the text editors built in formatter. Evidently lining up the colon separating key value pairs is a thing.
If readability was so important to you why the fuck did you decide on using JSON as a configuration format? Especially when you could have gone with YAML or better yet INI (flat key/value pairs) style config.
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