Ooooooh I just skip a heart attack and shit myself at the same time, thank god for error "can not delete database, database is in use"

Code not working.
Comment out code.
Slowly rewrite it bit by bit till it works again.
Check against commented code.
They're the same.
Wtf.

Seven hours wasted on this shit :/

PSA: kali linux is literally just a debian with extra preinstalled software. You aint hot shit cause you use kali. You aint hacker cause you use kali. You can do the exact same shit on any other distro what doesnt have a 4gig live iso. Shut the fuck up.

I work in a scrum team of 6 persons.
We have the same IP address and we get ads based on what everyone else was searching. Sometimes shit just gets akward

So there it fucking goes.

Hi. I'm WillibertXXIV.
I'm not a programmer by trade; I have a more than fulltime job as a cook. As for the last year, I spent pretty much all my free time, overlapping my sleep time, to learn how to code.

All that so I can create a game that I started working on the same day I started my learning process. So far it's shit and it's going to stay that way for a long time. Only I can say this. It's my baby. It's fucking ugly and shit but it's mine.

Yesterday I broke it. I broke my baby. I don't know how it fucking happe. When I went to sleep I had a steady 175fps, nice realtime lightning and player / enemy that flowed like running water. I worked really hard to make that happened. Profiling, writing better code, profiling, etc. It's still not good, it's less shit.

I woke up, beautiful day. Not too warm, not too cold, that sweet spot right in the middle. Girlfriend already made the coffee. Perfect. Woke up, sat down to start my morning time work before going to my realjob and

BAM

Everything is shit, 20fps max. That one thing, gfx.waitforpresent, showing up in the profiler eating everything as the game run. Movements are now of stroboscopic nature. Light is still ok but what good does it do now fucking piece of shit. I'm not qualified enough for this shit.

Fuck,
Fuck this,
Fuck this shit,
Fuck this shit i'm out of here.

Dev: Breaks unit tests

Same dev: Merges it to master anyway

Same fucking dev: Can't merge to master coz CI is screaming at you? Merge locally and FORCE push.

Me: Hi, I'm blocked. I can't merge to master coz of this failing test, can we get on a quick call and figure this out?

Same fucking fuckface dev: *after 3 fucking days* Yeah, I don't know why it's failing.. the results seem to be inconsistent..

Jesus Christ. I am so close to leaving this side-project because of the frequent shit I have to go through with this fucking idiot.

God I wish I didn't need the money.

Dear Microsoft,

What kind of braindead fucking moron thought that implying that dragging the mouse ever so slightly within the same folder with files selected MUST mean that the user wants to copy shit?!

What kind of braindead fucking moron thought that making conhost use Return for copying text and right click for pasting it was a good idea, and make the keybinding unmodifiable?!!

What kind of braindead fucking moron designed this shitty abomination of shit OS?!

everyone in class was so silent when suddenly one guy pops up and says:

" 'TROJAN' VIRUS? I got it! you know? the trojan horse and shit?"

we all laughed
not because of him just realizing it now

but because we all slapped our faces at the same time, it was kinda funny.

So this bunch of idiots made this huge iOS app using lots of global variables, lots of spaghetti code and basically no separation between logic and UI.
Another bunch of idiots were told to take that iOS app and basically port it to Android. And they ported that same code mess, almost line by line, and adding some weird shit.
Now the HQ of the first bunch of idiots realize that the second bunch of idiots were too slow/inefficient/whatever, and they're now asking US to solve that Android mess and add another shitload of features.
The worst part of it, is that both bunches of idiots are still working on it, so we're basically forced to follow the same shitty style until the first deadline, otherwise we'd die suffocated by stinky merge conflicts. Which will happen anyway because our changes are going to overlap.
Oh, and the PM refuses to understand the disaster coming and there's six hours of time zone difference.

Fuck this shit.

Every fucking time its the same shit:
Our nontechnical managers meet with the client and try to pass technical requirements to us..
These pieces of shit don't get that this only makes things worse.

Making everyone waste fucking time trying to understand requirements that would be a lot fucking easier if any of us were is any fucking meeting.
But nooooo... We have to fucking be the whole team in fucking meetings with these cock suckers so they can realize they didn't get shit and the back and forth bullshit begins:

We ask questions
They don't know
They schedule meeting with client
They ask their moronic way
The client answers
They schedule meeting with us
We ask questions...

And this fucking loop goes on for-fucking-EVER!

Fuuuuuuck this!!

Fuck YOU Xcode!

20 crashes since I started working this morning.

Restarted the iMac, same shit.

Cleared NVRAM/PRAM whatever its called, same shit.

Closed EVERYTHING, restarted iMac again, unplugged from the wall, left it few mins, replugged back, turned it on, continued working, AND IT STILL KEEPS FUCKING ME OUT OF NOWHERE.

FUCK THIS, FUCK XCODE, FUCK APPLE, AND FUCK WHOEVER DARES TO THINK THAT ITS A GREAT PIECE OF SOFTWARE, im done.

P.S. this rage got me to a point where i had to make this paper

Seriously anyone who doesn't use english names for variables and shit, get the fuck out! I don't care how many dicks you sucked, don't fucking do it!

I'm working on redoing a somewhat big database with a small team and the fuckers who designed the new database decided to use danish names everywhere and misspell shit! What the fuck are you doing!

Who the fuck calls it a birthdate? and misspells the danish equivalent?

And what the fuck is this, using _id and ID like they are the fucking same thing!?!

For the love of all that is holy, stick to english, one naming convention and check your crap spelling!

AARGH!

Argh!
Me: "Are these Os or 0s? In this shit font they look totally the same!"
Me tries to gess if they look more like circles or eggs.
Me remembers that there are no Os in hex numbers.
Me: "Stupid me! Better go to bed now..."

To the person who architected a system where business logic is encoded to XML within CDATA sections within other XML data inside a 10000 line file that also describes the presentation of this same data:

I hope you meet a violent death. Your suffering should be equal to what developers who had to deal with your perverted shit experienced.

Motherfucker.

I fucking hate working remote jobs.
Currently in Turkey running absolutely shit internet speeds.

Speed is around 0.31 Mbps down and 3.29 Mbps up, ping is around 141ms according to speedtest.net.

It took about 15 minutes to get a test of the speed working.

Stability is about the same as that of the country.

Please take me back to Denmark and my amazing 150/150 connection.

Only one upside: see attached

What the shit!!!

At 11:00
While studying
"ah... I'm sleepy, can't tolerate any more", and just go to bed.

At 11:05
While scrolling rants
"hahaha... So true, same happened with me.. bla bla...."

At 12:47
Doing same thing from last 1 hour 40 mins
Even not sleepy yet!!!

It's too addictive. Having so much good posts, much better than fb feeds.... Loving the rants... New experience

$work: Ey @Root, make this super simple thing.
$work: No, not like that.
$work: It also needs to do A, B, and C.
$work: No, not there. You should build it somewhere else, but I won't tell you where.
$work: You need to build out F and G, too.
$work: What do you mean you don't have the data? Just ask support drone #3. (who directs me to #2, and that one to #8 who doesn't know, and that one to #12 who won't answer)
$work: Why can't I do K, Y, or S? You should be able to infer these from the mind of whoever wrote the ticket by its wording, despite no mention of them whatsoever.
$work: Are you done yet? It's a super simple ask!

Sometimes I feel like people here bitch about Windows and Microsoft when half of their issues aren't even Windows/Microsoft's fault. 🤷🏻‍♂️🤷🏻‍♂️

There's no way to prove it, but it's basically someone who has their mind made up that Windows is shit, therefore it points out every single thing, especially the trivial shit, that's wrong.

(I'm the same way with iOS/MacOS lol)

I want to vomit everytime rich people in upper management says stupid shit like "working for money in this company is a sin. Work for higher reason"

Hello, if only I get paid as much as you earn just by talking random nonsense in every meeting, I would be glad sharing the same shit quote like that to other employees in the company.

Windows, God damn you piece of fucking shit.

Why the fuck can't you make networking fucking easy like literally every other fucking operating system in the goddamn fucking world?

Why the fuck can't I spoof mac addresses so that I have the same IP address regardless of if I'm on a hard line or wireless?

Who in their fucking right mind thought that the pro version of Windows wouldn't need to do that?

I don't even like using you at this point, I'm forced to use you for work.

There's literally not enough explicitives that I can chain together to sufficiently convey how much I fucking hate you Microsoft. So enjoy this seizure inducing tourette's mode compilation.

Fuck shit cock piss mother fucker asshole bitch mother fucker sick and tired of your fucking shit Microsoft you fucking cuck piece of shit nobody fucking likes you they only have to use you because no fucking business in their right mind is going to spend the millions of dollars it cost to fucking switch over to fucking Mac or Linux I hope you fucking choking a bag of HIV riddled flaming dicks you fucking piece of shit.

If you wanna replace few of the carousel banners in your website, at least fucking send me the image with the same aspect ratio or resolution compared to the old images.
WHY THE FUCK YOU WANNA BLAME THE DEV TEAM WHEN YOUR GRAPHIC TEAM AND YOUR MARKETING TEAM IS SHIT?

Wtf y'all see shitposting and then you decide to continuously upvote it.

Look retards. Part of being a Computer Scientist, or whatever shit branch you are part in this vast field...is detecting patterns....if you see some dickwad shitposting the same shit over and over or using fucking retarded ass themes, or some jase shit then downvote the shit out of it.

Fuck me.

Someone can make his theme to be just posting ascii penises and you retards would upvote that shit to oblivion.

Stupid ass community.

"THeN lEave" <--- i was prob here before you dickhead....go suck on cock somewhere else.

Damn y'all are fucking idiotic...this what happens when we make retards believe they can be engineers

Oh my fucking god. Stop posting the same screenshot over and over again. Ok, a company tested in production. But please don't send me screenshots of that shit every goddamn few minutes you cunts. After seeing the same screenshot for 20 times I finally got it so shut the fuck up now.

And maybe you should not only think about bad software. Maybe you should remember who is using that shit

I hate father's day.

Reminds me of 2 things:

1. My father is a fucking asshole.
2. My ex wife makes it damn near impossible for me to speak to my oldest child. State seems to do the same shit ever other state does to mothers that do this: nothing, zip, nada.

Fuck today.

"Your quote is too high, I will contact the old developer, as this would be quite easy for him!"

Alright, whatever - then 6ish months pass and suddenly the old developer said the same and since the other shit bartender doesn't want to do it "cheaper" he'd want it to have done properly, truly thinking of adding a tax to people that try to play games like that.

What you think when in college

These big companies would have all their code systematically arranged and everything organized, well documented.

When you come to the corporate world

Its the same shit you saw in college with the only difference being that you are expected to somehow keep it running since now it has actual money flowing through it!

Installed an SSH server on my desktop so I can use the shell from my laptop...while still sitting in front of my desktop. Keyboard is less than a foot beyond my reach because leaning back, but laptop is in reaching distance.

Still have that SSH server up for mainly the same reason. Decided to also open it to WAN so I can do shit while I'm not home too.

So, Twitter fired the entire Indian team (or almost, Im not so sure) and one person posted on LinkedIn that went like, "If you've been laid off, just learn something new and Upskill yourself."

Like yeah, no shit Sherlock.

I imagine this is the same kind of people who tell depressed people, "Oh, you're depressed? Just Cheer Up!"

Boss: "JS, Java, Objective-C all have Class, so they have the same convention"

yeah both you and shit have weight

FUCK Android, whoever invented this piece of shit should be really proud of themselves... And yes, this rant comes from an iOS developer who's working on a project in react-native... Why the fuck everything should always work on iOS but the same thing is fragile as shit on Android? Why the fuck there's a thousand of different versions of every Android package and every single one breaks another? Why the fuck Android is so fragmented... If this piece of shit is the definition of "openness" then I'd really prefer the "closeness" of iOS... Totally reminds me of how much I hated IE6 back in the web development days

Where is the angry shit throwing rant against apple today? I expect the same treatment as Microsoft

Excuse the blurry picture, but this shit makes me angry.

Both this sticks has the same modelnumber/productnumber, but the tiny text to the right is important to! I cant find any information regarding thoose sticks about there is actually two version of them! $150 down the drain. Fuck it

My department is legit getting a fuckload of heat over some missing reports that were not generated by the lead dev.

Shit falls on me since he ain't here.

Look b. I am gon give it to ya straight: I don't give a fuck, your shit is secondary, unimportant, bottom of the list...call the vp if you want, he gon get a fuckload of indifference as well ....

know why?

Cuz yall motherfuckers want shit done quick af but don't say shit till the same day. Fuck, shit don't work that way...pendejo.

Best thing? I ain't even supposed to be doing this shit at all because of y'all bitches not placing me in the correct classification...

*Creates a rest api that runs on localhost:8080*
*Creates React front end that runs on localhost:3000*
*Sends a GET request to api*
*Cross-Origin Request Blocked: The Same Origin Policy...*

Thats my fucking dev environment and its my local fucking host! Let me just send a fucking request to my own fucking machine you piece of shit! Why the fuck they didn't add an exclusion to fucking localhost?!?

Classic Wordpress:

1. Find a problem
2. Throw 2 to 6 plugins on the problem.
3. Admit, that they don't fix the problem either.
4. Implement some crappy workaround yourself.

But: It could get worse. You could use Joomla as CMS. Same shit, but without the available mass of plugins.

Splash pages. Remember that crap from 20 years ago? That was a home page with some "click to enter" nonsense to get to the actual home page. Laughably stupid.

Today's empty home pages where you have to scroll down to get to any real content is exactly the same moronic pattern, just by another name: showing off useless design wankery and forcing user interaction to bypass it. Fuck you if you still do that shit.

DevOps is like working in sanitation. If everything works as it should, no one cares about you. But if there is a problem, everyone is up to their eyeballs in shit, and it is your fault.
Same as IT btw.

This whole github thing is only yet again revealing, how many package maintainers are a bunch of instable psychopaths and should have somebody else manage the keys

be it one guy deleting all shit from npm and breaking worldwide babel installs or now raging toddlers deleting their repos with no actual readme notice or atleast placeholder repo and telling others to do the same

jesus fucking christ, how can the same person have developed such intricate package and then be an absolute manbaby throwing shit at strangers

My own personal hell was a html page that had a script tag that called a rest endpoint that sent back a text block of JavaScript that was then dynamically executed to redirect the user to a php 3 page that was the exact same thing as the original page but with an extra bit of css to make the buttons blue and slightly rounded

You can’t make this shit up

Sold the company and started working fulltime at a company in a different sector a year or so ago.

Today one of the ops people comes up and says that someone is on the phone asking for me.

One of my old clients apparently had a question about their site. Turns out that they tracked me down on LinkedIn, and called my new company's public line just to see if I would be available to help them out.

Fortunately the new powers that be took that one in their strides..

"Awwww I remember when I started to code :)"

That is for condescension when looking at shit code or:

"Wait, you code?"

For the same case

devrant made me realise there are people out there that go through the same daily shit I do.

Thank-you devrant

No offence to anyone but I'm wondering why so many people go for Google chrome while chromium browser provides about the exact same browsing experience and speed etc but without Google's proprietary tracking shit. I know not everyone cares about their privacy but still wondering.

After a decade of working in the web development industry, I have given up all hope, it's the same fucking stupid ideas, the same retarded problems in every damned company . Monkeys discovering and reinventing the same fucking wheel over and over and over again. From a 5 man company to the unicorn scaleup (and everything between) I have had to implement access control systems, and various REST API's following the design made by mongrels who do it the first time . I have become to hate the work I once was so passionate about. Just fuck this shit , if anybody had told me when I was in my early 20's that this is what I end up doing I'd go and learn to be a carpenter instead.

Different year same shit

Fuck Xcode!
Why does every single and small update need to be at least 5GB? And why am I required to update you so fucking often? You are not fixing anything, so don’t even pretend to! Most of the time it is just to support the latest .x update in iOS. Can’t be too hard to update the SDK without updating the entire shit IDE! 😡

And guess what: I JUST UPDATED YOU, SO WHERE IS YOUR FUCKING NEW VERSION??? HOW CAN I WAIT 45 MINUTES AND AFTER THAT YOU DID NOTHING!?! HOW CAN I HAVE THE SAME VERSION AS BEFORE??? NOW I HAVE TO DOWNLOAD YOU AGAIN YOU FUCKING PEASE OF SHIT 😡😡😡

How the fuck am I going to make a fucking email signature appear the same everywhere when the client insists in using a piece of shit software called Outlook and I am a goddam backend developer.

I don't give a shit about spacing and color and stupid fucking fonts.

Thank for listening. Have a great day.

Oooh what I hate it..... Timezones... Who really came up with that shit? GMT, UTC, CET and garbage like that. And then also the DST crap.

Whats wrong with the same time in the whole world? Without DST or timezone garbage that just makes life harder for both developers and travellers which are going to meet someone or have something booked.

sometimes we try to make things better and realize people just want the same old non functional bloated shit...

WTF is the point a
of auto-generated documentation. Some dude litterally thought it was a good idea to read the code and write the exact same shit differently. WTF IS THE POINT!?

Documentation takes work, sorry, stop being lazy.

Fucking fuck fuckity keyboard autocorrect on windows (and on osx): NO FUCKING THANK YOU, FUCK OFF, STOP FUCKING AROUND WHILE I WRITE

I turned off fucking autocorrection on windows 10, I write an email in french, and every word that has a similar spelling in english gets autocorrected FUCK YOU OUTLOOK, FUCKING RESPECT MY FUCKING SETTINGS, YOU FUCKING PIECE OF CODED SHIT PILE OF SHITWARE

So much time lost correcting and recorrecting.

Oh, also: a phone is a fucking phone, a computer is a fucking computer, not the same device, not the same behaviours, fucking get that you fucking companies

Holy shit. I'm actually vibrating after watching the FH launch. Seeing the two falcon 9s landing at the same time looks straight out of a sci-fi movie :P

Also, I wonder what happened to the core 🤔

Psst, hey .
When you copy that shitty line 8 times, you will end up with nasty bugs later cause the shit will look the same and you won't understand they're getting values from the same variable.
Don't.

Me trying to take a screenshot with iOS 12:

*holds home and presses lock* (the only way I had found to reliably take a screenshot in previous versions): Siri

Fuck off Siri I want a screenshot!

*tries again same way*: Siri

Fuck OFF Siri!

*holds lock + home*: phone locks

Christ almighty.

*unlocks phone, presses home and lock at the exact same time*

Nothing happens.

*continues holding* I just want my fucking screenshot.

Phone powers off. Hard reset.

Fuck this shit.

How hard is it to monitor two buttons being pressed at the same time? And if it is so damn hard why make it the ONLY WAY TO TAKE A SCREENSHOT??!

Now whenever I want a screenshot it’s basically a crapshoot whether I will get a screenshot, Siri barging in, or my phone locking on me.

Couldn’t they have just used the volume buttons instead? 😡

Every time my Linux crashes, I think I should stop doing random shit with my system....
And couple of days later I have the same thoughts.

For all those people with some great app ideas , visit play store just to find out other 69 fucking similar apps for the same shit you've been pitching me for the past hour.

After 10 years maintaining the same codebase, I sometimes find features in the system that I wrote years ago and I forgot they existed, like "Cool, I didn't know the system was able to do that, I completely forgot, I wonder how it works, and God knows how I wrote this shit, let's see..".
I've even found myself starting to implement features that already exist, and then having to revert the changes.

NGL hearing the head of I.T ask you to help a brotha out and "do your magic" makes one feel pretty fucking legit.

I know I pull some magical shit, I know most developers in senior level positions or management do, but I also know we all rarely get recognized. The fact that someone would know that what you do is basically magic for your institution makes one feel so fucking good.

I really fucking try. Shit is hard and holding an entire department together sometimes gets the best of me, but I fucking try.

wish you all the same feelings all the time, always

So ..i just got a raise. A substantial one(about 30k more) but......

The cms coordinator is now going to make way more than i do....but not only that he is making way more than my lead developer and my lead developer's salary is now the same as mine.

The man has 12 years of service to this institution. He IS the web software department and if any day him and I decide to cross our arms and not do shit the whole school collapses...both fucking campuses.

Continuing...the cms coordinator doesn't even have the same education that we do. The lead developer has 4 associates degrees and I have a B.S in c.s, the CMS dude has 1 in computer tech or some shit like that.
And he is making about 9k more than us.

I...know it sounds small, and it is, but the principle itself is fucking painful considering that they mentioned job responsibilities was a major contributing factor in said paycheck and we have fucking murdered ourselves working extra every fucking day. Going above and beyond this shit just to have a dude that adds images to a cms make more than we do.

Fucking bullshit.

Tldr: I just FAILED AN EXAM because of my uni's SHITTIEST SERVERS EVER. YEAR AFTER YEAR THE EXACT SAME SHIT HAPPENS, THEIR SERVERS OR NETWORK FAIL HARD AND STUDENTS FAIL EXAMS BECAUSE OF IT, AND THEY NEVER FIX IT.
FUCK

In the middle of a 3h exam at uni, using Matlab through virtualdesktop, when suddenly it stops working entirely. Trying to restart it, no go. A few other people are having the same issue as well.
After 20 minutes of waiting, one IT tech shows up saying people in other labs are having the same issue, big problems.
Ended up wasting nearly an hour waiting for shit to work again - which it did, but only when the extra time they had given us ran out.
Desperately tried to salvage what I could of my exam, but I don't think I did enough to pass.

This is not the first time it happens. Exam after exam, shit like this keeps happening over and over again, and every time some students get fucked in the ass and have to take the exam again - the next semester.

This is supposed to be one of the top universities in the country, and top 20 engineering schools in the world.
FUCK THIS SHIT

Installed SonarQube and Snyk on the CI/CD of a 2.5 year old project that only had a linter enabled previously.

Practically zero problems found. One minor problem (same code in different branches), a few false positives, and a few possible problems in dependencies that I have no control over.

Now wondering:
Am I really that good or are those tools just shit?

Anyone else having the same experience with dev rant?
The algo or whatever is now only showing me things I've already seen. Couple new posts then just a shit tonne of repeated content, most I've already ++'d.
The last week in here has been boring as af because it's all stale content...

MOTHER FUCKING VISUAL STUDIO!
This S.O.B keeps crashing every time I attempt to open a fucking .aspx file. How the fuck can a company make an IDE that takes a shit every time I attempt to open a file that uses a language created by the same FUCKING COMPANY.

FUCK IT I am going home early.

Sooo...
Got Fired...
By the same fucking company who is responsible for my burn out.
Should I be Happy or Sad? No matter how I loved the company I can only expect more abuses... On the other hand, If I made a few complaints, I couldn't get fired now...
Anyhow...
This weekend (can't remember the day, It was the day I took two victans, 20's beers and the same join I would smoke in a whole week ... (It worked, so...) I posted lots of really bad shit on facebook about the company... true Shit, but you know... Truth doesn't matter.
Today got a letter ending my contract on the term of the current one... less than one month from now.
So.... Lets See...
At least this pushes the time I have to start making Apps to get some money.
Just lacking the energy and will...

Me: *Make a PR*

Seniors: *takes 5 days to review* This must be changed

Me: Okay. *Make changes and PR on same day*

Seniors: *takes another 7 days to review* Oh, you also need to change this

Me: really? Okay. *do the changes*

Seniors: Well, I'm gonna accept it. But maybe you should rework all the integration later.

Me: what.

I'm super tired of this shit.

docker

Having exactly the same shit running on my own machine as in production makes life so much easier.

I don't wanna hear anyone dismissing college education, specially from people that can't do asymptotic analysis and have no clue what a pointer is. It's not fine. What do you think people spend 4+ years studying for? For this shit? There's a reason why a diploma has a weight, it's not just decoration.

I get it that the american educational system is fucked up and you guys have to pay a shit ton of money for it, but you can't just pretend it's worth nothing.

How diminishing it is to hear people shit on a life long struggle to get where i am today. I had to study a ton to get into college, and I'm still pouring my blood and mental health into my studies, only for some random to say that a youtube tutorial is worth the same.

Interviewing at companies that have exactly the same kind of problems/people/politics makes me sad and a little desperate.

Probably best to stick with the devil I know (for now). After all, why trade in crap for a turd: it's shit either way.

<rant>
Don't fucking tell me to move business logic from the service to the controller. Don't fucking tell me it will enable an "event driven architecture." Don't fucking use Angular for this project if you're just gonna shit on best practices and write convoluted, messy, inconsistent code and force your coworkers to do the same!
</rant>

If you dish out the same shit you inherited from your senior colleagues onto your juniors, you have just successfully become the part of an ongoing shit show.

Be kind and supportive. Earn their trust, be approachable. Listen to them and help them learn to solve problems. Give constructive feedbacks, not harsh criticisms. Point out room for improvements, not belittle someone. Be that mentor/teacher you wish you had.

Learn. Build. Teach. Grow

Instagram returns 404 when profile is not found and no user is logged in but returns 200 for the same url when any user is logged in. WTF!
Took me so long to debug this shit

Fuck how people are excited about experiencing the same shit every year

...He hired a shit dev who did the same work in 3 times less than what I asked for.

He's now back crying to fix his Fuck up.

You ask how I know he is shit. He SSH-ed into the server. Worked directly off the production files. Worst of all, he installed phpmyadmin, changed the db structure without even writing a fucking migration !!!

How the hell am I supposed to know what he changed!! It's gonna be a long night 😥

I noped out of the coffee communism in my company. It's always the same assholes who just take the last cup out of the thermos jug and don't set up a new one. I'm fed up with this shit, and the company coffee itself is also cheap. I'm with my French Press and custom coffee now.

FUCK YOU PHP, WHY THE FUCK DO YOU GIVE ME DECEMBER 1ST WHEN I DO
strtotime('-1 month', '12/31/2015)
USING DateTime PRODUCES THE SAME FUCKING RESULT. ARE YOU FUCKING RETARDED OR WHAT?
YEAH I KNOW NOVEMBER DOESN'T HAVE 31ST BUT YOU COULD AT LEAST RETURN 30TH OR EVEN RAISE A WARNING, YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT.

I get it, Unreal Engine's Blueprints are for quick mock ups, but man, that shit is really complicated, more than coding the same thing on C++.
God, I'm frustrated with that, then the "boss" decided to do an "online survival medieval rpg" game, seriously?
Don't you think that it will fail? LIKE THE THOUSANDS BEFORE?
At least I'm getting experience ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Me: This is going to be a big issue

*Crickets*

Me: (X10) Raise same issue

*Crickets*

Suddenly my Friday starts with two teams going "HEY THIS IS AN ISSUE!"

Me: No shit? I never would have guessed. See you when I get back from vacation!

A guy who had the same nationality as the enterprise we were working for was promoted from JUNIOR js developer to UX/UI coordinator for the entire department just because he was 2 year older than me (26 vs 28). Literally he was a junior dev and went to that.

One day he was accusing me of writing a piece of code which led prod to downtime. I was in the office, he was in another country with our manager and technical director next to him and we were talking over internal conference system. I shown git history + his name + his code and he was saying ‘that’s not true!!!’.

I couldn’t resist and I began to yell something like ‘You fucking fuck piece of shit cocksucker...’ for 5 minutes. Since that day i was the god on my project for UI/UX side.

Even now he is in the same place on the same position...

PS: more stories to come with this guy

!rant
Walked into the networking area to visit my network guys and sys admins.

They just got a whoooole bunch of equipment.

Shit looks intimidating af man. Mad respect for you sys admins and networking people. Seems like a really cool job, difficult and challenging at the same time!

You asked for it--here it is.

It was a regular day in November--I was taking my dog out for a walk. We were walking past an elementary school when my dog started barking at a rock. I went to have a closer look at the rock when suddenly it vanished into thin air. "How strange" I quietly thought to myself, called out to my dog and carried on walking.

The next day at around the same time, at the very same place--next to the elementary school, my dog started barking at a log which lied in the exact same spot as the rock had occupied the day before. I did the same as I had done a day earlier--walked up to the log to check it out, but it vanished into thin air. We kept on walking.

The third day I decided we'd pick another route. This day, nothing interesting happened.

The fourth day went the same as the third.

The fifth day, went the same as the fourth.

On the sixth day, God was almost done with his works, for that reason we celebrated by going to the movies--me and my dog. To be fair, the only interesting thing that happened on that day was the movie, which was shit.

On the eight day when I got out of my bed I fell, broke my neck and died. And that's when I ate my code to make it shorter.

Had to ring the UK tax office, have to pay a sizeable amount by 31st Jan, but I have spent any savings on essential living based shit. I was dreading the call, but best to do it before 31st or you get an instant £100 fine. Well I was totally shocked to find a really lovely lady on the other end, she was most helpful and not like the cunt I got a few years back. It just goes to show that two people doing the same job with the same procedures and outcomes, 1 can be a complete cunt and the other kind and compassionate. Moral, there’s no need to be a cunt.

Fucking pigeons and birds in general. They all don't want to move their asses when I drive lol.
Do they all want me to squeeze the shit out of them?!
Wtf is wrong with them?
I'm waiting for them to slowly pass by my car, but others would maybe not show the same patience.

Windows decides to finish faulty programs whenever it likes. İt's so annoying, I did just one small mistake in c++. I wrote "new char(length);" instead of "new char[length];" and I have been dealing with this shit for three days. Then I run the program on Linux and boom it failed in the same spot, which I fixed. But in Windows it sometimes runs, sometimes fails or sometimes even fails on unrelated places. Wtf windows? How about security and shit. There was literally a buffer overflow and you still keep running the program. And why GCC didn't even popped a warning. I hate developing c :(

Don't you guys feel like sometimes we make a huge deal in regards to what is basically grabbing a bunch of shit from a db and making it display on a flipping website?

I sometimes feel bored at how repetitive this shit is. Its the same shit, with various degrees of complexity to do that get data and post data or update data.

I dunno man, sometimes i just feel like there is too much for something that is inherently simple.

I'm tasked with hacking a million dollar production machine and all the PLCs have the same password for the root user, which also happens to be the name of the company producing this shit....

Internet at home down.
Internet at office also down.
Two different service providers but they use the same backbone or whatever you call it shit which is broken and the repair needs hours.

And I still don't wanna rant about it.
Maybe I need to check myself with a doctor.

serious question - is a fucking project ever finished and put away or is it common in the dev world to redo the same fucking pointless shit over and over again?

Devrant is getting more boring day by day. Everytime the same shit. Some people see things that are already rated, and just rerant it. Boring.

Why can't every browser just interpret shit the same way, how hard is it actually to standardize the rendering?

#whenProdBreaks

$data = ["some","predefined","data","set"];

// :/ this suddenly broke
//$response = $this->makeSoapRequest($data);

/**
Due to prod failure, Hot-swap soap for rest - don't ask how we took the same input, spun the shit out of the response and recreated the same data structure that the soap request made, but it works... and that's all you will ever have to know.
**/

$response = $this->makeRestRequest($data);

//process the response
$this->process($response);

It is still blowing my mind how a button on my raspberry pi is programmatically functional in the same way as if I was programming a database and web app.

Fucking eh, why haven't I been doing this hardware stuff sooner? You can literally make physical shit happen. That is so cool!

More like a colleague more than a client, but it doesn't really matter.. They're the same shit,aren't they?

Dude, when you ask for something on Sunday, and spend the day plus Monday and Tuesday not returning my calls or emails... You can go fuck yourself with a huge unicorn's dick. I already moved on to more important shit to do and now you're going to wait until I'm fucking done.

Fucking assholes.

Internet access at the new Uni is crap. I'm getting so pissed at this shit...
Packet loss spikes to over 50% every 30s or so. Can't keep a single SSH pipe open for longer than a minute. Firewall is so tight infrared light wouldn't get through that shit (understandable. And I use a VPN anyway).
And every. Single. AP. Uses. The. Same. Channel. All of them on 6. At least it's on a tight band... But 1 and 11 are free. 100% clean. You know, you could spread them a bit. That helps. But naaah let's keep everything bundled up. Co-channel interference is OK, right?

Jesus fucking stupid backend developers that don't listen when you tell them their shit doesn't work. So you end up wasting time again and again tracking down these fucking obscure issues that are caused by THE SAME FUCKING BACKEND ISSUE

Fuck you Edge!
I can name a var "screen", what is wrong with you? I don't care you have an Object named Screen, they are not the same and I rather use my own, thank you. It's not like I'm "let var=" on you, you piece of shit!

Sometimes for personal projects (and one client gig) I use the same database for local development and production.

Why?

Because I am a piece of shit.

I think I just managed to fry my hdd THE SAME GODDAMN DAY I FINALLY GOT AROUND TO BACKING IT UP.
Holy fucking shit, that was WAY too close for comfort... 😰

Personal development... I mean, I'm the same shit I was yesterday, last year, last decade, last century, ...

Holy fuckin shit. Fuck java updates.

Today we deployed to production with a java app. For whatever reason it didn't work, just throwing SSL errors left and right.
Same app works on dev and qa

There's only one tiiiiny difference: Java 8 141 on dev/qa, Java 8 171 on prod

Guess what happened in 171 ... they updated the CA

rip 4h debuggin

My fucking internet went off and was so slow that even ssh resetted me, fucking thanks. And it was the same typical pattern again: turn off, turn on, kbps speed, wait ~30/50 minutes and then again fullspeed, fucking cuntbags stop fucking fingerbanging the ethernet ports - I need to get shit done.

TL;DR : I have carelessly deleted my pocket account. arrrrr fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk

I usually censored my fuck with * but this level of fucked up shit need no censor anymore.... shit fuck fuck fuck

I am using separate profile for my regular ff and ff dev edition. I didn't know both of the browsers are already linked to single pocket account. I thought the pocket account on my dev edition profile was a new one auto created by ff and decided to delete the account. Turn out it was the same freaking account. I even saw the name linnth but I still clicked Delete My Account.

All 5 or so years saved bookmarks are gone. Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

You know how companies pay people to scan your Twitter for anything "problematic"?

Can I get the same shit run on them before I follow them for tech stuff and they start posting political bullshit?

At one point I understood a lot of git internals. Now I don't remember shit apart from the small subset of commands that I use everyday.
How does one remember such intricacies.
Also same with regular expressions xD

So, there was this guy where i worked, who was doing some freelancing.

He asked me to do some front-end stuff for him and i said ok.

After some gigs, my boss found out about him working as a freelancer and got really pissed, because, according to him, it was forbidden by company policies (though i never saw it on contract).

After that, the boss started talking to me about shit that the guy did on the past, like stealing, liying about been sick for months, bad mouth the entire company to others companys, etc. Some really bad shit.

End of the story, the company fired that guy, threatened to do the same to me, made me go on record about that shit in court, and that fucking motherfucker didnt even payd me for my last work.

I hope he rot in hell, fucking piece of shit.

Sorry for the long text, but (today) i find it as amusing story.

86 lines of code...duplicated 3 times in the same file...and only a single integer constant is different. This is the shit that makes my day to day work tedious.

Im glad I dont personally know the previous dev, he would get his throat punched...though calling him a dev is more of a compliment than he deserves.

After 2 weeks I really like it here on devrant... And its mostly because we all somewhat face the same shit together today, every day. And still we continue.

That is what dev is all about 😃

I think this is interesting and evil at the same time.

You make a huuuuuuuge(like...YUGE level) code base available to a lot of people marketing certain things at an enterprise level and for small companies to use. You make sure people implement a lot of shit with your stack.

Then you tell them that shit will cost money from now on.
And because they might already have a large codebase they can't just change it to whatevs.

Shit is brilliant, moronic and funny at the same time.

Wondering what Gosling is thinking about this whole deal.

If anything this whole thing will make people switch to the excellent OpenJDK platform more and more. I know that starting with Android N google had already moved to the OpenJDK.

Oh well. Wonder if this would make Java developers more vailable and hard to come by cuz I still love the Java programming language and like the monies.

And know I have no soul.

Checked mails and saw bunch of newsletters from the same company.
Me: huh? I don't remember subscribing to these. *scrolled down* here it is, (button to unsubscribe from these emails)
*Clicked and got redirected to their feedback page before unsubscribing.
Me: Cool, just need to provide feedback, not a big deal. *gave feedback*
Message reads : DONE. Operation failed. Due to technical error

What!! I'm gonna block the shit out of you!!

Same as the year before.
Trying hard to achieve good grades in school. Nothing special. The usual shit, as you can see...
Thanks for taking your time and read my unnecessary post anyways ;)

You know what I hate more than bugs/shitty docs/no VCS?

Recoding the whole damn thing in another language, from ground up to do exactly the same shit. Why WHY must developers shit hundreds of solutions into space only to say "Huh, look at my software, it was I who developed it." No, you simply recoded it and wasted your time and everyone else's time searching for a solution.

this is motherfucking insane, that's why I hate microsoft and always will, fucking daddy will tell me what I can or can't (they do same shit to github and nuget) but look at this.

I don't give a fuck about unknown publisher, this is my PC, if I want to install a virus I want to install a virus! for fuck sake

Win 11 has made my computer use MISERABLE!!!
The sound keeps going out. The shit won't print right, no detail, no light and dark, always too light or too dark and Nothing like I edited it in GIMP. Fucking Shit!!!!! I want these designers to have permanent scabies. It won't print the objects the size Ichose. It keeps having to reinstall printers after every update. There are 5 clicks for what used to be 1 click. Did people magically stop getting carpel tunnel!??? The copy/paste and other icons are thin, same color almost as background and anyone over 50 can't SEE them!

So I've just finished a long day at work (warehouse) from 5.45 till 1.30, got home, had some herb tea, started dropping off, then my cunt of a mate sets a firecracker off IN MY TUPPERWARE, CRACKING THE BASTARD, THEN FUCKING THREATENS ME WHEN I TELL HIM TO SIT DOWN BEFORE I BREAK HIS NOSE. I don't know whether to just kill him or beat the shit out of him, but I'm sick of him doing shit like this when I finally manage to drop off to sleep (I don't sleep well).

FUCKING COCK SUCKING CUM STAIN.

I really want to try to beat the shit out of him but at the same time he's my best mate, what should I do, because I'm FUCKING SICK OF IT?!?

Today's shit list, compiled from multiple random apps:

* Your subscription renews without an email in advance (no time to cancel)

* Your chat bot asks me twenty questions about why I want to cancel my membership, then sends me to a live agent, who asks me the same damn questions.

* Your app emails me my password in plain text

* Meeting agenda squashed by execs:
"We don't talk about _____, but we're committed to transparency."

To fetch 100 users at once, i used JPA hibernate findAll() method. Simple fucking enough. I realized this shit is slow. Takes a while to fetch and 100 records aint even a lot!

This shit needs over 265 ms to fetch 100 users

About 75 ms to fetch 20 users

That shits terrible!

Then i wrote a custom JDBC class with custom SQL queries to fetch the exact same shit.

Now it fetched 100 users in 7 ms, 37x times faster for performance

I havent even optimized indexing or did shit. I just avoided using jpa hibernate

Someone explain this to me

Learning these design patterns literally feels like I'm bending my brain into positions it never thought it could fold...
Shit fuckin hurts. I feel enlightened at the same time though 😟🙌

Ffs, HOW!?!? Fuck! I need to get this rotten bs out.

RDS at its max capabilities from the top shelf, works OK until you scale it down and back up again. Code is the same, data is the same, load is the same, even the kitchen sink is the same, ffs, EVERYTHING is the same! Except the aws-managed db is torn down and created anew. From the SAME snapshots! But the db decides to stop performing - io tpt is shit, concurrency goes through the roof.

Re-scale it a few more times and the performance gets back to normal.

And aws folks are no better. Girish comes - says we have to optimize our queries. Rajesh comes - we are hitting the iops limit. Ankur comes - you're out of cpu. Vinod thinks it's gotta be the application to blame.

Come on guys, you are a complete waste of time for a premium fucking support!

Not to mention that 2 enhanced monitoring graphs show anythung but the read throughput.

Ffs, Amazon, even my 12yo netbook is more predictable than your enterprise paas! And that support..... BS!

We're now down to troubleshooting aws perf issues rather than our client's....

I sit on toilet to take a shit and i started falling asleep! I shit even while i sleep! This is magnificent. Miraculous. Every day its the same shit but more advanced style of shitting. I am becoming very skilled at shitting. I deserve to get fucking paid every time i take a shit. There should be a sport about who can shit more often every day and I'd be the winner. Bullshit floats all around us every day especially from jobs and interviews. It is inevitable to avoid it. Beautiful. And it does make sense. I keep saying life is shit anyways every time some shit happens. And im always right -- life IS shit anyways. The keyword is **anyways**. Because no matter what you do or dont do, life will be shit Anyways. Life is empty and meaningless. Even shit has more meaning than life itself. If meaning is something that is made up then you can't live life at all. If meaning is what you make it then there is no default meaning in the entire existence. All of it is shit. We either exist because God made us and doesnt want to tell us why or we exist by chance of statistical randomness. Hopefully its the first option as its less depressing

Btw terraform is fucking good

Did the devRant algo shit itself or something? I've seen pretty much the same exact feed throughout the whole day..

@dfox

Still not sure about this new guy, not trying to be rude but everytime we're talking about code he says shit that makes me wonder how he got hired. (btw he is hanging with the IT department all the time) He's a very nice guy, but talks massive shit when it comes to bugs/new features/etc.

Should I have a look at his pc to see what he's doing when in office or is it none of my business. Help me out here, I'm really curious but don't care if he's a fake at the same time lol.

I have two math final exams on the same day, and one is scheduled 30 minutes after the first one 🙁🙁

I fucking hate math, and this shit sure isn't helping me.

Microspyoft decided to retire Atom IDE, what a bullshit company, if you check their asses you will find them stinky as garbage because they only use toilet paper, I started to stop using their shit, any basic solution they offer to you that you might think 'Oh, that's the solution to rely on for a lifetime ' no man hold your excitements cause they are going to fuck your brain later, same as they will do with Windows10, suddenly the bunch of lazy asses decided 'actually let's create windows11, and stop supporting windows10 by 2025' Go to fuck yourselves bitches, I stopped using all your shit.

Dear Facebook.

FUCK YOU YOU FUCKING CUNTS.
The next time you upgrade your piece of shit application on iOS and remove stuff from their place which makes me search all the way your crap battery vacuum application until i fuckin find it i will come to your office find that dumb zuckerberk and push the fuckin chair he sits at down to his throat.

Same goes for your retarded website.
Suckers.

LinkedIn recruiter message
Hi I have an exciting opportunity for you which i will not share on messages but why don't you give me your phone number, email, home address, favorite color so that i can email the same shit to you instead of sending it in the LinkedIn messages and also give me your phone number.

>building the same app once again because of a bug
>look in the unity editor settings for android
>find "proguard"
>google it, find it might be useful to minify, obfuscate code and other stuff
>try to minify the shit of the app
>original app was 25.1MB
>minified app is 24.6MB
>minified app using "Gradle (Experimental)" is 24.5MB

Month passed so I looked at job offers and I am tired again.

All of them look the same and all of them look like crap. Some require stupid online tests preparation ( cause everyone likes to traverse tree 10000 times a day ).

Seriously I think I will go to supermarket and work there.
It’s more pleasant then getting input and pushing it in some stupid places all over again.
Finding some shit in shit pile, then moving this shit pile back and forth between different shit holes.

AI should start writing this stupid code, robots should provide food and build shelter.
The sooner the better for all of us.

Why do people like or even use Discord?

It is the same people behind OpenFeint and Discord - which has some lawsuits against it because the app installed shit on mobile phones without users consents

I don't like when

you have a couple of years of experience with some language and you're like "I should read a good book about it, and have some proper solid foundation instead of playing by ear".

So you get a book and what follows is a very jarring experience.

Because for the first 8 chapters they get into the basics of the language.

You're occasionally like "interesting, I did not know that".

But for the most part you're like "yes, for fucking christ I know that, everybody knows that",

or you complain about the author being redundant,

or about the outdatedness of the book, since most documentation is now in the interwebs

or you reach flawed conclusions out of frustration like "this isn't making me any money, I could get on upwork, or do some bounties instead of wasting time on this"

then you start to skim through the pages like "I know this, and this, and this" until you realize you're in some page you have no fucking idea what it's talking about, as if you ended up on the wrong side of town

so you start backtracking (frustration is going critical at this point)

but backtracking is annoying because it's not well defined where you stopped getting it, as if in page 33 you were getting it 100%, but 0% on page 34, it's more like a gradual, irregular decrease,

so you have no idea where to start re reading from.

you just shove that shit into the wall at that point.

Some of these are learning discipline problems.

I guess there are ways to mitigate them, such as writing down questions of things not understood, co reading, etc.

But the one thing I don't think I can't get past is when authors write like shit,

like being redundant, using different words to say the same shit

or using confusing sentences that can mean different things at the same time,

or using the incorrect terminology, eg: if I were teaching OOP, saying shit like "classes create objects" but later on saying something like "classes create instances".
They usually nail the definitions the first time, but then use different terms for the same thing. It's shit.

And I think that's a writing culture that I hate.
From school you are taught to bot repeat words.

To say the same shit in different ways.

To be descritive, but vague.

That's absolutely shitty for programming in my opinion.

the amount of time you spend trying to unfuck shit you don't understand while using linux is highly unpleasant

i'm even on ubuntu which should is supposed to be a friendly babbies first linux option

dumbass shit with the desktop environment being borked such that i had to stop using cinnamon and grub boot issues because of dual booting windows 10 on the same drive

something that just werks, can play games, codemonkey, wageslave and isn't windows could be nice (macos fuck off, you don't satisfy the critieria eitehr)

Merry fucking new year.

I hope you find love in 2018. I see a lot of you wanting to find a significant other. Just know that out there are so many others that want the same. Just be ready to not only want love, but give it. Also, make sure your significant other also gives and is not like many just wanting to be loved.

And stay away from CSS. That shit's shitty shit.

Starting.

Because you build the same boilerplate over and over again.

People recommending me shit I didn't ask for in 3...2...1...

Sitting here while I wait for my shit to compile. Decided to watch a video while it runs.

But WAIT!!!!

I'm using an on CrapBook Pro from 2013 (company issued). And it decided it cannot compile and play a video at the same time.

So here I am watching a fucking slideshow while the poor old CPU dies of strain.

Moral of the story: buy more cores

One of those ducks better have my name on it.

But sadly not 😖

No Wayne but a William, all ways same shit, might as well change my name.

Just changed some registry stuff, I'm connected with Wifi and LAN at the same time now. It's still shit but actually better than before :D

Add a DWORD-Value (32 Bit) into Computer\HKEY_LOCAL_MACHINE\SOFTWARE\WOW6432Node\Policies\Microsoft\Windows\WcmSvc\GroupPolicy ... that's it

Alike wizards are frowned upon to use magic in front of muggles, we developers are to do the same with our programming jokes.
Those muggles shit never get my sorting jokes 😒😒

FUCK YOU EDGE!!

nothing got better...

So it's 2018, I thought let's start working with Android Studio on Ubuntu. [Due to some guy who posted his CPU usage on a very heated rant of same issue]
I realized it's fucking mess(/shit) and you dare not keep any browser open in back/fore-ground. Now, my entire system is stuck.
Ruined the first day man.

Millions of shattered dreams. Possibly the worst emotional pain.

Haters might love this state of mine.

Somebody needs to look at the whole user admin side of all of google products from a users perspective. Then realise what a disjointed dysfunctional, horrible, confusing, pile of shit it all is. I would say the same for zoho, another example of how to put as many obstacles in the way of doing straight forward tasks.

Can you make me this page please.
Me: its done its 100% like the psd you send me
She: yes but this component is bigger then this one
Me: its the same here the css proof
She: can you change it ?
Me: ( this will change the hole component and douin the same shit ) yes i will do it for you.

She: again this is not the same size

Me: ( what the fuck i said to shut is mouths ) ............. Fml

*opens up any form of internet page*

Oh look... Another group of people using memojis as their profile picture complaining about slacks new logo and touting their own design...

*Opens up another page*

Oh look same fucking thing

*Closes browser and opens letter to reveal random slack logo*

Can everyone just shit the fuck up about the new logo... Please...

So thought I would install Visual Studio 2017 for Mac and ho boy what a load of shit that is!

They say it's designed to be macOS styled yet it is literally the same visual style and element location to mono-develop for linux and mac, piss poor effort when even creating new project uses the same form layout.

Unity's and Apple's documentation spoiled me bad. Why can't every library out there document their shit the same way the former does? I'm looking at you, OpenCV.

I am so sick with shithead designers that heard about android, but decided it was not important enough to consider it and make their design for android and ios exactly the same. And then force you to implement the ios app in android with the same elements, even supressing native out of the box funcionalities.
They get paid for producing poopy smelly shit.

I wanna make a mobile app. I just don’t know what to do. I was thinking on a study app , but my mockups were basically a ripoff from an app i used some time ago (funny how we think we can do better, but end up with the same shit). So now, back to square one :/

Any ideas? Anyone needing a very willing developer ?

Last week i had a talk with my boss. Actually he more had a talk with me. Why i wasn’t able to finish my work the sprint before. I told him i had to run not one, but two project at the same time and on top of that had to show a new coworker around.

Some how i keep thinking about quitting this shit.

Regarding my previous rant where I shit talked about ubuntu 17.10

So instead of downgrading I tried a last chance (why not, system was fucked already) by installing unity, yes the same shit that ubuntu team removed from ubuntu 17.10 as major upgrade.

Well, it turns out gnome shell was taking more than half of my cpu in idle state and this unity barely reaches above 10%

Life lesson learnt: not every upgrade is better

Same goes for android studio, let's save it for another rant

Samsung Keyboard is utter shit.
GBoard (Google Keyboard) is like a ray of sunshine in comparison.

The Samsung keyboard actually changes whole words to completely different words. It even replaces words with misspellings. No, these were not words I had misspelled before. Tried to turn off autocorrect and keep suggestions. They are the SAME setting. Like if you are going to make a shitty ass version of the GBoard, at least keep the same ability to tweak settings.

In contrast I installed GBoard and was able to disable JUST autocorrect and keep suggestions.

Just like most Samsung apps Samsung Keyboard is utter shit.

FUCK YOU SAMSUNG!

How was your day?

Mine wasn't bad. Seems like the project I am working on gets on track, I mean my team (squad) is able to do good things, I really like all the people I have on board. We all are in the same miserable but sometimes funny world.

Shit happens all the time, but at least there are other people we can share the shit with.

Every time the same fucking shit. Need to form groups for some uni project. You hear from your group members how excited they are and can't wait to code some shit. AND AT THE END I AM THE ONLY MOTHERFUCKER WHO CODES ALL THE SHIT DOWN. 4 MEMBERS AND NO ONE EVEN CARES TO COMMUNICATE. LIKE WTF.
And then you here stuff like "I wanted to start and I see that you finished the story and I need to understand what you did there. Everytime I want to start a Story you finish it" MOTHERFUCKER THERE ARE 19283120 OTHER STORIES THAT NEEDED TO BE IMPLEMENTED AND THERE IS A FEATURE IN TRELLO... "ASSIGN TO ME" MOTHERFUCKER. PEOPLE IN THE MID 20s ACTING LIKE LITTLE CHILDREN GOSH

PHP is such an absolute shit.

`array_map` takes function first param, array second param

`array_walk`, which is similar for associate arrays, takes array first param, function second param

and at the same time, the function of `array_walk` takes parameters in `value, key` order

what the crazy fuck this is.

Seriously anything mozilla developers touch turns to shit, what the fuck, pdf.js was working just fine before, rendering a pdf in under half a second, now it visibly fucking does a tv scan loading a 100x100 pdf, good job you fucking cunts, you did it again, same you did to vanilla firefox, you did to pdf.js, not to mention that they fucking change their variables that the library exposes every fucking week.

I fucking hating working as a subcontractor (hopefully the right term). The interesting things are always given to locals and we just do the fucking day-to-day bugfixing shit.

And due to the fact that we are not in the same city, we are suspected to cheat on the billing just because I made some presentations for the company I'm directly working for (and for which I have an internal budget)

Just go Fuck yourself. Maybe some Indians want do the boring shit (no offense to India)

Getting real tired of your shit, JavaScript. I sincerely love and hate the language, its so flexible at the same time that flexibility will give you nightmares, I swear to god I'll never recommend Node.js for any big projects, right now the same flexibility is killing our project.

Oh lord, have mercy.

Ordered to implement Old functionality in New system, not allowed to fix it, refactor or change the underlaying mess.
Wrap old system in a wcf, hardcoded some values, done.
3 weeks estimated so I feel ahead and got more time to look for a New job.

Being used to write curly braces on the same line but having to write em on a new line for a college lector.

*I can't read that shit*

The relationship between me and JavaScript is as same as my toxic EX.
Sometimes I get emotional sometimes I just wanna beat the shit outta JS.

FUCK JEST. ITS ALL SHIT. I CANT HAVE A DIFFERENT MOCK RESULT FOR ONE TEST AND KEEP THE OTHERS THE SAME WITHOUT REWRITING THEM.

THIS IS THE REASON NOBODY REALLY WANTS TO DO TESTS, NOT BECAUSE THEYRE STUPID BUT BECAUSE THE FRAMEWORKS ARE THE PINNACLE OF CANCER THEMSELVES.

I don't understand why people are so preoccupied with new languages and scared to try them out. At least half of the language features are a rehash of the same ideas and the other half are 2-3 ideas. Seriously. I find it distasteful that people in my co are so scared of learning new shit. NEED To GTFO.

I feel shit atm due to grandmother getting bad music so I need some music to make my mind clear.
Come at me. With anything maybe I can start coding at the same time to.

This lead is an asshole, I'm the only who gets shit. Even if other people have the same issue.

To me: "The purpose was to have it done now."
To others: "Well, at least you have it mostly done."

Fuck sequelize, the bloody query generated by the "ORM" give diferent result on the same DB if you trie it on dBeaver (works fine) vs node (shit results).

order DESC have 0 effect on sequelize, but it appears on the logger as part of the query.

I just want to go to sleep ffs.

Welp, it is panic attack time. Can't sleep because of work stress, which stresses me out even more. Can't get my work done because of bullshit meetings I can't skip. Coworkers are possibly being purposefully idiotic. Can't take vacation because we are in the middle of shit. I am not even coding, just writing documentation about the same crap everyday because of perviously mentioned idiotic developers. They have the same info as me, but refuse to work on even a draft version until I paint a screen WITHOUT the button they need to remove. I want to code so I can point at it and feel good, but no. And people keep talking to me. FUCK! AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!

Your tests won't work right because you failed to meet coding standard, not that hard to understand. Yet, here we are still implementing the same shit that got us in this conversation.

Does your bosses/managers also posting shit ton of pathetic buzzwords posts on LinkedIn (like: embrace, family, awesome organisation, very proud, guru, celebrating) and yet you know the organisation from inside and it's same corporate sh*t as everywhere else?

omg fuck you

why did you fucking recreate the fucking db migration on the same fucking version you fucking moron in the fucking develop branch you fucker

sorry it's not my fucking day this piece of shit company with the fucking fake developers
crap, I'm also working in the same company, means that I am also a fucking piece of shit developer

Hello Apple. Let me tell you something.
Even though i like your phones. I ABSOLUTELY WANT TO FUCKIN KILL YOU FOR YOUR HEADPHONES.
It's unbelievable you cock suckers, evey time the same shit happens.
WHY THE FUCK YOUR FUCKIN HEADPHONES AFTER 3-4 MONTHS START TO BEHAVE LIKE THEY ARE FUCKIN RETARDED.
1st headphones, they started changing songs randomly. That was back when i had iphone6.
It's ok i said, happens. Then i bought the iphone 7 and the headphones started behaving like that after some months. Again. Didn't say anything, i still liked them. So i went to buy the same headphones but for iphone6, with the 3.5mm jack. AND NOW THE SAME SHIT HAPPENS. FUCK YOU AND YOUR FUCKIN HEADPHONES AND YOUR FUCKIN 200€ HEADPHONES. COCKSUCKERS.

So, anyone knows any good quality headphones?
FUCK YOU APPLE.

Shows perfect results.
PM: Nice, integrate that into the latest version.
Shows bad results.
PM: Your integration must be wrong.
Show him the file diff, no difference in my implementation.

It's funny how the exact same feature goes to shit immediately after they push all these untested changes.

After two weeks of struggling with Docker, I can confidently say, this is the worst shit I've ever worked with.

$ php bin/console make:migration
ERROR: php_network_getaddresses: getaddrinfo failed: Name or service not known

Well let's try again...

$ php bin/console make:migration
ERROR: Connection refused

Different error messages for the same commands?! FUCK YOU!!!

I once used some Windows theme hack in Windows 7 to be able to get a dark background in Explorer.

As a side-effect, Microsoft Word shows me the same dark background as well for its documents even though I didn't tell it to. I didn't mind, though...

But now the fun part: When I wanted to print out the document, it prints with that same dark background... seriously, is this shit hardcoded in?! No wonder you couldn't get a proper dark theme with Windows 7!

(I hope Windows 10 full dark theme won't have this weird issue!)

I'm studying a mix of computer science and engineering. This semester we were tasked with hacking a "smart-production"-production-machine.... And OMFG it's shit!

This is a product by a major company and it's version 4... How the fuck is it this bad?
Like, using the same 5-letter password on all the PLC's FOR THE ROOT USER!!! WTF!!! AND open, unencrypted Telnet.....
This is a million dollar machine and, as soon as a hacker is on the same network it is done for! wtf.... I just can't believe how easy it was to get in and reek havoc.

How come that im absolute shit when it comes to designing a webpage but i can make really fucking cool looking android apps, when they are essentially the same thing

Finding a good Linux distro, part 3:

I am happy now. KDE Neon running very smoothly and...now you certainly will not believe me, but with least memory. 400MB of RAM after start up. That is stunning! Stock Ubuntu runs about 800-900MB on the same machine, holy shit!

Post a rant and apologize cause he's using windows. What the heck is wrong with people here ? This trend is so annoying. Stop it you sheeps you have no reasons to love or hate any OS just following others to look cool. It's not cool unless you're in middle school. And those same guys mock apple fan boys the truth is you're no different. "Yours is shit coz mine iz z best".

So fucking stressed. I've been working on multiple projects at the same time, most of which have no clear goals because the one who assigned them to me doesn't know a shit. Everything is done superficially and without purpose but to make money. I need a break, a long one, and after that the only thing I will have to do is find a new job.

The secondary access point stopped working, turns out the date/time is wrong. You guessed it, the ntp server is hard-coded in the firmware (last version), no option to change it, it a linksys but not supported by openwrt.
Grabbed a second one, flashed with openwrt, same shit, and can't access by ssh because it's an old dropbear build.
Hate trashing things, but sometimes too much is too much 🍺

added a sixth point to "core principles" of the os/language i'm designing:

6. hard crash on as many errors as possible because programmers are retarded pieces of shit and fuck them from both sides at once with three baseball bats in each hole at the same time. either fucking write your program right or go fucking fuck yourself you fucking lobotomized incompetent pieces of shit.

because fuck this fucking bullshit. your lobotomy will either make the whole system crash or you'll learn to not be lobotomized you fucking retarded pieces of shit.

oh, and the error message is gonna be "OH NO! THE CREATOR OF [program name] IS A RETARDED LOBOTOMIZED MORON WHO CAN'T WRITE CODE FOR SHIT, so now he fucked up your whole system by his utter incompetence... Restarting..."

I hate programmatic auto layout. It's such a mess! Simple shit like cells that can easily be defined in a .nib become spaghetti coded messes that violate every good programming practice ever. Want to recreate the same style of cell again? Good luck reverse engineering the hieroglyphics your teammate wrote when creating the layout by hand. Never mind a whole bunch of useless shit is done in code that could easily be defined via runtime attributes through the storyboard. But why learn a new approach? Cause job security. Or because for some reason Interface Builder tools are seen as "too hard" or "not scalable" to use.. fuck me.

I was looking at some code to add some quick features to it and muttering to myself, "whoever wrote this piece of shit... I'd possibly torture the guy to death if I get my hands on him now". Guess who's the guy... I'm sure two years from now I'd be saying the same thing about the stuff that I've written tonight...

When the Shit doesn't work local, you Paste the same Shit on jsfiddle and the Shit is working. its the same, damn!

I fuck get angry when I try to teach my real close mates like my family about computers or some basic things, but I am fuck relaxed and more human and take time to teach the same shit to total strangers. Am I dumb sick or what. Fuck me.

I'm so, so tired of stand-ups. We have JIRA, and basically all we do is read the board—ticket number, ETA, blockers. We've done some Slack stand-ups, but my managers insist we all be in the room to communicate the same shit we communicate very effectively on Slack.

When the in house designer has no fucking clue about UX and proposes the same shit as the existing pile of shit in the *redesign* -____-

You've gone and done it again Android Studio. I can have Visual Studio and Delphi open at the same time and develop and debug plugins for X-Plane on my laptop, but can not run Android Studio smoothly. How much processing power does this piece of shit need?

My manager sent me a Desktop screen without informing me and I also didn't ask for the same. Now, he wants me to use it. And i am like, WTF 😡😡. Who the fuck told you in ur dreams to send me this shit.

The fact that I managed to migrate the same fuckin keras model from gym to my own mujoco env and nothing broke too bad, is absolutely amazing.

Let's hope the little shit actually ends up learning some proper shit. 😒🦄

don't know if I'm allowed to post twice for the same weekly rant, but my favorite reaction was when my senile neighbor responded with "Oh that's nice! Computers are all over the place like stink on shit these days"

Trying to setup a fucking google tag manager to get the fucking google analytics working.

Few years ago it was a 10 minutes work. Now I'm already at 4 hours. Fucking sick

WHY I say why I have two fucking equals accounts, FUCKING THE SAME.
And one is working the other one doesn't give a shit about my analytics.

Ehi, Tag manager, I just set up a Tag called "YourMother" related with its trigger called "Fuck" using same extra variable called "anal"

Can you just show it in my anal-ytics, fucking please?