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Interviewer: "I checked your Github, your side projects look very interesting! Tell me about your other hobbies."
Me: "other hobbies?"11 -
>Do you speak Latin?
>Yes ofc
>Wow! Tell me something in Latin
>"Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet...."
> :O16 -
CIA, NSA... if anyone 's listening.. Can you guys please tell me my root password.. :/.. I forgot..10
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Css is most definitely a woman who's mad at you but won't tell you why.
"What's wrong? what did I do? "
"Nothing..."8 -
interviewer: Do you know HTML?
me: Yes sir!
interviewer: can you tell me its full form?
me: how to meet ladies.
interviewer: get the fuck out of here9 -
Never trust a hot chick that tell you "Wow you are a programmer? Tell me about it"
ATTENTION: DON'T TELL HER ABOUT IT8 -
Me coding at Starbucks and this hot chick passing by me stops to tell me:
- I love WebStorm, don't forget to command + alt + L.
Me:
WebStorm:
MacBook:
Charger:20 -
Interviewer: Tell me your previous achievements.
Me: I had a level 213 fire mage.
Interviewer:
Me:13 -
SYS_ADM: We have something important on the internal GitLab?
ME: Please tell me it is working
SYS_ADM: I take it as yes...5 -
Interviewer: "I'll checked your GitHub, your side projects looks very interesting! Tell me about your other hobbies. "
Me:"Other hobbies? "8 -
Okay so about a year ago these FUKKING IDIOTS decides, against my recommendation, to do this quick-ugly-hack and ninja it into production.
I tell them its a FUCKING BAD idea that will blow up in a year or so...
But no, just go go go!!!!!!!
Now a year later, shit blew up badly. A total FUCKING derail. These new idiots asks me to "fix the problem", the same fucking problem I predicted and warned them about a year ago. So now i have to clean up their ducking mess because "Nobody else knows how to fix it".
What the FUCKING HELL do we pay them fuckkkers to do?!!
New idiots you ask? Yep, because 3 out of the 4 original fucktards already left the place in order to go and make some other new collegues lives fucking miserable.
FUCK YOU FUCKING MOOTHERFUUUKKKEEERRRRRSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!2 -
Client: We need a news app.
Me: Sure, tell me more about it.
Client: Yeah, have you used Daily Hunt, I want that! Just in different colors.
Me: ...6 -
Where are you DenverCoder9????? Tell me!!!!
I have a few questions for you.
** Hysterical laughs **
2 -
PM: I spoke with x client, they really like x feature and want to continue.
Me: great, I'll let the team know.
PM: Yeah, I told your team already.
Me: Oh. What did they say?
PM: They all told me to tell you first, so you can tell them.
Me: 😏
2 -
I am but one man. Please remember that I am only human, and as much as I have automated, some things still take time.
Also,
I DON'T KNOW IT'S A FUCKING ISSUE UNTIL YOU MAKE ME AWARE OF SAID ISSUE. IF THIS ISSUE GOES ON FOR WEEKS, IT DOESN'T MEAN THAT I AM AWARE. PLEASE, FOR FUCK'S SAKE, LET ME KNOW BEFORE IT BECOMES A HEADACHE FOR YOU. BECAUSE WHEN AN ISSUE BECOMES A HEADACHE FOR YOU, YOY THEN BECOME A HEADACHE FOR ME.2 -
>Answered my first question on SO
>Comment: "It's a wrong answer"
>Me: "Do you mind telling me why, so i can fix it? It could still help the op"
>
>
>
I see. You were quick to tell me I was wrong, but don't tell me why. Alright then.8 -
New setup since today! Tell me what you guys think and show off your favorite programming places!
20 -
Me: So, tell me more about what you want me to code.
Friend: Well... Do something nice.
Me: Like?
Friend: I don't know, I thought you're the expert...
Me: You motherf...1 -
Ticket: "I have questions about the system."
Nothing else. What are your questions???? Please tell me6 -
Forgot my password at school, say so, they tell me the password. Have they never heard about security?9
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I hate recruitment agencies. Had a conversation, i said no thanks. They phone back they next day and tell me i need to let them know if i want to go forward with the job then get angry with me as i tell them no again. WTF?!?!!5
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Dear Product Owners,
If you tell me how I need to architect my software again I'm going to ask you to provide a network topology of the architecture you want me to build.
I'll also need you to request the new servers, work with the ops teams to setup credentials, provision the NAT, register the domains and document the routes that the proxy will need to use.
then I'll need you to hook the repo up to our non-existent pipeline so that I can make sure I won't do all that testing I already can't do.
I hope you're paying attention, because that framework you told me I needed to use is going to be a pain to setup correctly.
after you're done with that, please attach any documentation you shit out to the ticket you never created.
Enragedly yours,
Looking for a new job
PS: get fucked3 -
SOMEONE PLEASE JUST TELL ME:
HOW DO I STOP BEING SO FUCKING AWKWARD!!!!!!!! Tell me please, i swear to you. My life would be so much better if i wasn’t so awkward and have social anxiety. Tell me what to do because i’m tired of it, i hate it so much.42 -
I hate working from home. I'm lonely, bored, feel ignored by my leadership, and have so many additional complications with connectivity that don't exist when working on site. I have the chance to almost double my salary in this buyout, but I also really really hope my other job applications give me options2
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Q: Tell me what date types do you know.
A: Excuse me!? Date types?
Q: Eh, I see you didn't get it...12 -
Wait... You mean to tell me that other programming languages that aren't python exist?!?!
Fucking blasphemy!!!
11 -
here is a working feature in Cortana.
Me: Coratana tell me a joke.
Cortana: *Opens Edge
Me: Hahaha good one1 -
Don't learn python, instead learn java....
Two weeks later, tell me which source is best for learning python3 -
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!rant
Now go and count them and tell me if this is a rant or not!5 -
Amazing API's and SEX!
Alright people, now that I've got your attention, I'm getting to the point where I need to plan and roll out a solid API for a project. So after reading a lot of the horror stories written here, What are the finer points of what makes an amazing API experience to use and integrate with over a poor one?
And don't say documentation (If you do explain why) 😁11 -
Ever happened to you?
With me, it always happens when I code !! LOL 😂.
Favorite language C++, tell me yours.
9 -
When the project manager (who knows nothing about code) tells me how to structure HTML markup. No, please, tell me how to do my job.1
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Manager: yo I need a time line for this shit.
Me: I don't know how long it takes.
Manager: tell me how long it takes.
Me: I can tell you what can be done in next couple hours. I don't even know what will happen tomorrow.
Manger: now tell me this time shit.
Me: .......
Seriously, dear fellow ranter. How do you estimate timeline? Your timeline is changing.5 -
FUCK YOU MR ROBOT JUSY TELL ME EVERYTHING THATS GOING ON THAT YOU HAVENT TOLD ME YET FOR FUCKS SAKE I JUST WANNA KNOW NOW!!!3
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So I need to ask this because I've never experienced it.
Recently many of my colleagues left for greener pastures and now they're posting on linkedin once a week with some bullshit about how awesome it is to work wherever they went.
If this was one or two I wouldn't care, but it's like 90% of them vomiting this blatant brain-swill for almost 3 months now.
My suspicion is that these people are being coerced into posting this garbage. Am I correct that many companies these days are doing this now?8 -
Interviewer: Tell me something interesting about yourself.
Me: I know how to exit Vim.
Interviewer: We are done. You are hired.
😂😂😂2 -
Dear PyCharm,
When you decide to change the default templating language from Django to Jinja2, please tell me.
You owe me for psychiatrist bills2 -
Tell me, which letter do you see:🇺
And which do you see here:🇻
And then tell me on which OS/browser you are viewing this.
(on my phone, Android 8, they seem to be switched, first should be U and second V)32 -
Wow I was playing Dota 2 when Windows decided to minimize it and tell me about the update timing. Almost cost me a game.6
-
Me: so what position have you contacted me for?
Recruiter: I don't know, the final offer will tell you this.1 -
Devs: Early birds or night owls?
Me: Definitelly night owl, can not wake up before 10 and sometimes working till morning. I know it is bad for health but I can not help myself. Being much more creative and productive at night.12 -
Damn devrant just gave me a "helpful tip" but my anti-ad reflexes kicked and before I realized it was closed. Does someone knows what does it say?5
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Take me into the organization as a dev
tell me that I'm supposed to bring ideas and tell you how to improve and what's required
I do that
You ignore me
You expect ultra performance and good profits
GO FUCK YOURSELF7 -
Tell me you don't want to do technical support without telling me you don't want to do technical support
5 -
Damn, guess that password is already taken.
(They meant to tell me the password didn't meet their criteria)
-
I wanna rant about a freelance job but I can't. Tell me your freelancing horror stories instead :D4
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When my boss told me this:
Boss: I have some bad news that I didn't want to tell you on the phone.
Me: So I'm fired?
Boss: No, the roof of the server room collapsed and most of the computers are really damaged.
Me: Then tell the technicians to start fixing, why are you telling me?
Boss: Now it is your job ...6 -
Why didnt anyone tell me about you could create mobile Apps With HTML, css, Javascript and node.js?!12
-
Do your colleagues read the emails or they ignore them like mine?
The usual answer is: sorry no time to read, place a meeting.
I do not want to schedule yet another useless meeting because you are unable to read two lines of text.
If I wanted a meeting I would have scheduled it in first place.
Why have I to lose 1 hour of my time to explain, then some cannot join and ask for a follow up meeting, where I have to explain again the same things.
Obviously during the first meeting nobody has even read the description and has idea of the topic, so "we need to check... schedule another meeting next week".
You can imagine what's gonna happen the next week...1 -
Some relatives visited me last night. As soon their son realized I'm a coder, he started asking me silly questions e.g. he had installed some silly hitman game and asked me to tell him reason for it wasn't working on his system.
WTF man? How could I tell you the reason without even looking at the installation or error. -
BA: "Can you design a page for this?"
me (not a designer): "Um, sure, no problem."
Fast forward two days, show the page for approval.
PM: "Hey, can we do it as a pop-up instead?"
:| -
I have friends married to girls from the Philipines. If there are some people from said country in here, would you mind telling me why their FB names, instagram names or whatever are things like:
"Cee La SomeShit still Trying <white dude surname>"
"Beauty Hope LoveThisSwag <whatever last name>"
"Leyla StillHaveDabooty <white surname>"
Like wtf, just put your fucking name, shit sounds SO fucking trashy4 -
I spent the week working on an adapter to a specific format, the client came this morning to tell us Json would also have worked. Then why didn't you tell me earlier?!?
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I have just learned java language. Can anyone tell me some small projects that will help me as a beginner?10
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I know reviews are so I can show my progress and let you tell me what you think. Just, please don’t tell me to click irrelevant buttons, trust me, there’s really nothing there.
-
Can anyone please tell me what does this actually mean?
https://opensource.apple.com/
I'm literally asking..5 -
Please, can you give me tips on what to talk about when asked “tell me about yourself” during job interviews?12
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Tell me how to nicely tell a client that the price for the website they made us develop is more or less 2,000 USD. I'm from the Philippines btw so that kind of amount is huge...HUUUGEEEE.7
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Still wondering what it says about me when I tell my wife it was a good day because no one emailed or pinged me 😁1
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someone please tell me what the difference between these three are? apparently there's a difference but i really can't tell :/8
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“I forgot to tell you” - a backend dev who forgot to tell me about some changes in the prices a day before we submit our site to the client
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Tell me whatever you want. Tell me that I'm a Google fanboy even if I'm not. But I fucking like how Google is applying their own Material Design to fucking everything.
7 -
So my professor wants me to develop a code to implement an LFSR in Python.
Ranters, tell me something that LFSR can possibly motivate me about it all3 -
Today i present GraphQL to my colleagues.
Tell me your experiences with "querying your REST endpoints!2 -
It’s PostgreSQL!!!! not PostGreSQL, not postgressql, not postgre not postgre_sql!!!
Tell me if that has happened to you!!11 -
Is it just me, or are the Jinja2 docs shit?
Won't tell me how to sort my JSON file via a JSON variable. Fucking irritating. -
Any node js devs on here that can tell me why this is happening? Node js is installed and from what I can tell WebStorm is set up correctly...
2
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