Me wanting to board Plane,
Goes through security Check...
"Sorry sir Laptops are not allowed."
Me
"Why?"
Security
"It could be a modified bomb"
Me
"But this is a Tablet!"
Security
"No sir, it has a Keyboard and Trackpad attached to it, its also running Windows..."
Me
"Excuse me, but this is clearly a Tablet"
*Detatches Keyboard from Surface Book*
"See? Tablet."
Security,
"Sorry sir, but no. You cant board the plane with this, only Tablets and Smartphones"
Me
"WTF? you dont allow Laptops because they could be bombs but A FUCKING SMARTPHONE IS ALLOWED? AND TABLETS TOO?!"
Security
"Yes, because the Battery is not removable..."
Me
"But my Laptop Battery is also not Removable..."
Security
"I dont have anymore Time for an Argument"
Me
"So I can board the Plane?"
Security
"No, the Ticket will be refunded"

WHO THE FUCK CAME UP WITH THIS BULLSHIT? LIKE RLY? WHO!!
I MEAN WHAT THE FUCK IS ALLOWED?!

When some moron decides to give your free (and ad free) app a 1 star rating because it does exactly what it is supposed to do, but doesn't do what the reviewer wanted it to.

How considerate of these arse holes to ruin an apps reputation because they are moronic.

I really wish that you could file claims for the reviews to be removed for defamation.

Are you interested in a devRant hackathon? If so, please let me know what you'd like to see us do/what you would want to get out of it. There's lots of directions we could go, but I want to get as much feedback as we can from the community to try to figure out what would be the most fun and inclusive. Thanks!

Senior Dev: "Be mindful of what you email to the team, some may be rubbed the wrong way."

Me: "I'm going on a year, I figured it was okay to send a meme when appropriate like [the other guy]."

Senior Dev: "Well, [the other guy] has been here for 17 years, so it's sort of expected from him."

Me: "You know what would be weird? If I was here for 17 more years and then 'started' having fun with the team."

Senior Dev: "Yes, but [the other guy] is the only one doing his particular job, which makes him important, so he tends to get away with more."

Me: "No, I get it. If you're a linchpin you can reply with cat memes, but people like me need to mind their place."

Senior Dev: "It's an uncomfortable conversation, but it's all bureaucracy."

Me: "Duly noted. But could you please forward me the specific email I sent that caused the concern?"

Senior Dev: "I'm not sure what the exact email was, when it was sent, or specifically whom it offended."

Me: "Okay, because that would be like me walking up to you and saying that you have a problem that needs to be fixed, but I don't know what your problem is or why it needs to be addressed."

Senior Dev: "You're right, but just be mindful of the emails you send outside of the group."

Me: "I've never group-emailed anything outside of the team."

Senior Dev: "Well, I'll let you get back to work..."

[FML!] 🤦‍♂️

I just spent 20m debugging.

Basically bootstrap nav wasn't working. Couldn't understand why not.

Figured out its a an issue with the JS interfering so I remove the script reference from my HTML. Problem solved.

Okay,cool. Now let's add that file back in and figure out what caused the issue.

Hm. This line looks like it might be it *comments it out*...odd. Problem still happens.

*proceed to comment out and test every function to see what could be causing this issue*. Still happens. Fuck it. *comments the entire file out*

what the fucking fuck. I remove the script reference the problem is gone. I remove all code from the script - problem persists.

...wait...are you fucking kidding me. I OPENED THE WRONG JS FILE WITH THE SAME NAME BUT IN A DIFFERNT DIRECTORY.

Manager: Feature C doesn’t work

Dev: We never built feature C

Manager: Nonsense, I remember feature C clearly!

Dev: It’s still in the backlog

Manager: But we had many meetings about it

Dev: Never got put on the board

Manager: Feature C is very important!

Dev: It was never assigned to anyone

Manager: What could possibly be more important than Feature C?

Dev: All the other features you placed on the board and assigned up until now

Manager: Well I need Feature C done asap! It should be top priority!

Dev: Ok then next sprint add feature C to the board and assign it to someone

*Next planning session manager leaves feature C in backlog in favour of other tickets*

*2 days later*

Manager: What is the status of feature C?

Dev: You opted to leave it in the backlog

Manager: BUT IT SHOULD BE TOP PRIORITY!

Dev: …

Client: Please fix the logo.
Me: Okay, what needs to be fixed exactly?
Client: Put this word next to that word(shows me an example).
Me: Okay, no problem.
*after 5 minutes*
Client: You did not do what I asked for. Please fix the logo. Make it look better. Make it bigger and more outstanding. Dont change my logo
Me: Okay, I will revert the changes.
*Reverts to the old logo, and only does that as I do not fucking know what to do with oudstanding for fucks sake*
Client: I will talk to your boss. No one cares. My web site is not even finished and no one cares.
*It is finished, now the client looks for small things to make a big issue of*
Me: Could you please tell me in detail, what do you need to be fixes?
Client: I want the wording better. Im going to talk to your boss...

well fuuuck fucking fuck Im pissing blood!!!!!!!!!

So guys i really need your help. My girlfriend started getting phone calls at odd hours, so I got suspicious and started tracking her phone. Then I found out that she has been going to this guys house at wears hours, then once when I was tracking her my computer froze, so what could it be? How do I fix my computer

Yes of course we can have a fourth meeting this week to discuss possible KPI’s for the project.

I have a suggestion though, since the first deliverable is 3 weeks away and it doesn’t work yet, maybe I could spend time ON the project ... so I can build something that could be a KPI ... and not piss off the other companies for delivering nothing.

Of course I’m not a manager, so what do I know, but this shit might be why people keep leaving the team. Perhaps devs don’t enjoy having no time on the project while simultaneously being yelled at for not getting it done.

Oh dear, another Tuesday!
That means I'll probably get chewed out for something in front of the entire company. What for, you ask? The boss is inventive, so it could be anything.

Instead, I'm calling in sick and taking the day off. 😊

I live in an apartment building that has about 20 floors. About once every month, I'm either waiting for the elevator or in it, and the floor indicator display flashes "14" very quickly no matter what floor the elevator is actually on. Whenever this occurs, it's always 14 that gets shown.

This has made me think about what this bug looks like and if it will ever be fixed. Will they ever update the firmware in the elevators? Is it a software issue? It could also be a hardware problem. Either way, every time it happens I think about it and if this bug will ever be fixed.

I've decided to call it the "phantom floor 14 bug."

Few weeks ago I was having a few beers and messing around with a Minimax AI that could be used for different games as long as you fed it possible moves and win/loose-conditions. Could be used for like Tic Tac Toe on a 5x5 field, connect four etc.

I hadn't got it to work yet as I tried to implement alpha-beta pruning to optimize it. When I was playing against it I thought "Damn you're stupid, why would you even make that move" but still finished the game.

Before I knew it I had fucking lost. It outplayed me like 6 moves before I even knew what was happening.

And that's one of the top coolest feelings I've had as a developer, got destroyed by my own program.

Always the same story:

Marketing: hey I'm gonna do a demo to a customer. They were asking for feature XYZ. That's ready on thr staging server right? Do you think I could use the staging server for the demo?

Devs: well feature XYZ is not 100% done. Basically just feature X is done, and it still has a few bugs. The deadline ain't for another month, since we gotta finish ABC first. I guess you could use the staging, but it has a lot of bugs.

Marketing: perfect!

*after presentation*

Marketing: the staging had so many bugs! Why didn't you tell me?! It was so embarrassing showing it to new customers! Anyway, they loved the new feature. We need it to be ready ASAP.

Devs: What?! That's gonna mess up with our schedule. You know what? Fine, but feature ABC will have to wait another month.

Marketing: Well, it'd be ideal if we could do both...

Devs: Pay for more devs or dor extra hours.

Marketing: Just do XYZ. It's a pity that you'll have to push back ABC but it's fine, XYZ is more important.

(I might ask, if it was so important, why didn't you notice so in the meeting where we had decided that ABC would be prioritized?)

*tons of working hours later*

Devs: There, we finished XYZ.

Marketing: Yay! Wow, this month we'll have two major features done: ABC and XYZ!

Devs: No, ABC is not done yet.

Marketing: What? But the deadline was this week.

Devs: It was, but then you decided to prioritize XYZ and we said we had to push back ABC to get XYZ ready, and you agreed.

Marketing: Did we? Fine. But do it quick.

Marketing and their mood swings.

Full stack web dev has no idea what an ssh key is. He is telling me that he can't read the key file, it would be kind of me if I could send him a .txt file instead.

Fuck me man...

Boss: here is a mac project, we have not enough time.

Me: what? I didn't not work with Mac and related languages ever!

Boss: yeah, but you are senior developer, this is not supposed to be that difficult to you..

Me: *moment of silence* just tell me who taught you it and project management. because you are the stupidest shitty boss that a developer could have

Day 1:

Me: 'Hi'

Middleware guy: 'Raise a Jira. We have always been so accommodating. Contact your manager.'

*Jeez*

===

Day 2:

Me: 'Could you please start the server in dev environment? I am a new joiner. I don't have access. Here is a jira.'

Middleware guy: 'Deadlines may be for you. It is not for me. Wait until tomorrow.'

*Damn, did he get a divorce recently?*

===

Day 5: *An urgent delivery asap* 'Hi, could you please do the configuration of the new app in staging?'

Middleware guy: 'So, here is the split up...
Task 1
Task 2
Task 3
Task 4
Task 5 & 6
Your app will be configured by tomorrow first half hopefully.. Oh and you can escalate if it is too late..
'
*What a b...*

===

Day 8:

Me: *Doing late sit for pushing a task* 'Hi, we have an issue. The server is not starting. Could it be due to..'

MW guy in 'second' shift: 'Oh, we don't extend support on unusual hours'

Me: 'But this is second shift.'

MW guy: 'Yeah, but I have to go home early now...'

====

Day 10:

Team Lead: 'Any innovative solutions?'

Me: 'Let's go SERVERLESS!' :D

Would the web be better off, if there was zero frontend scripting? There would be HTML5 video/audio, but zero client side JS.

Browsers wouldn't understand script tags, they wouldn't have javascript engines, and they wouldn't have to worry about new standards and deprecations.

Browsers would be MUCH more secure, and use way less memory and CPU resources.

What would we really be missing?

If you build less bloated pages, you would not really need ajax calls, page reloads would be cheap. Animated menus do not add anything functionally, and could be done using css as well. Complicated webapps... well maybe those should just be desktop/mobile apps.

Pages would contain less annoying elements, no tracking or crypto mining scripts, no mouse tracking, no exploitative spam alerts.

Why don't we just deprecate JS in the browser, completely?

I think it would be worth it.

I once created a folder mistakenly named “~”. The next logical step was to fix this mistake, so I mechanically ran “rm -rf ~” ...
The saddest part is that after recovering most of all my files through countless backups, I still miss 50Gig of data, without having any clue of what it could be XD

I've got a confession to make.

A while ago I refurbished this old laptop for someone, and ended up installing Bodhi on it. While I was installing it however, I did have some wicked thoughts..

What if I could ensure that the system remains up-to-date by running an updater script in a daily cron job? That may cause the system to go unstable, but at least it'd be up-to-date. Windows Update for Linux.

What if I could ensure that the system remains protected from malware by periodically logging into it and checking up, and siphoning out potential malware code? The network proximity that's required for direct communication could be achieved by offering them free access to one of my VPN servers, in the name of security or something like that. Permanent remote access, in the name of security. I'm not sure if Windows has this.

What if I could ensure that the system remains in good integrity by disabling the user from accessing root privileges, and having them ask me when they want to install a piece of software? That'd make the system quite secure, with the only penetration surface now being kernel exploits. But it'd significantly limit what my target user could do with their own machine.

At the end I ended up discarding all of these thoughts, because it'd be too much work to implement and maintain, and it'd be really non-ethical. I felt filthy from even thinking about these things. But the advantages of something like this - especially automated updates, which are a real issue on my servers where I tend to forget to apply them within a couple of weeks - can't just be disregarded. Perhaps Microsoft is on to something?

A: Can you tell me your opinion about this? Please, be honest.
Me: Ok, I think you could do it in a different way, but let's talk about what you did and see how to make it better...
A: I don't think so, I think this is the best way to do it.
Me: Oh, OK.
A: Why are you always complaining about my job?
Me: Well, you just asked me, and I work on this too, so I thought...
A: I don't think you're collaborative enough with me!
Me [walking away]: Oh, OK...

I Quit,
Finally I quit.

This feels good after the countless red flags I raised to management and wishful thinking that this time things will be different. For the past year!

This time I lost the optimistic approach and got myself a couple of interviews, thinking, I'm in this for the long haul, could be 6 months could be a year, evantually I will succeed. and what do you know? It works, I can still pass those.

Then I set down with myself and thought, should I come to managment before signing the contract? Giving another chance for a real change? The answer was a resounding Hell No!

So, yea, if you are in a tough position. Don't give up, think long term, and who knows that "long term" might just be a month.

What do you think about a digital assistant made by the NSA, for example for people with dementia?
It would be accessible everywhere and it would know everything
and it could result in some nice dialogues:

>> "Okay NSA?"
"Yo, I'm always listening."
>> "I forgot to take some nice pictures from my last vacation, do you have some for me? D:"
"Of course, here ya go."

And you could even trigger it without a keyword.
>> *Walks to the fridge*
"Hey, you've already been at the fridge 45 minutes ago and since then you haven't bought anything."
>> "Thank you NSA"

Client called the office in an angry voice complaining about how he could nog see the data in the latest generated excel sheets. Calmy tryimg to figure out what could be the problem. Asked him to send over the file so I could check it. Works perfect on my end. Ask him to open the file again on his computer and tell me what he is seeing. Error message, empty excel file. He starts to me discribing a directory full of files and folders. 15 minutes later I finally figuren out what it is.

The guy had set winzip as default program for excel files. Hoe do these people work behind a PC Evert day. Are they like I hope this magic box with screen and buttond does everything right today.

I have an idea. DevRant Groups. Keep the feed but, for example, have a Python group dedicated to discussion or rants about Python. Any one could make these groups. It would be similar to Thingiverse Groups.

What do you think?

Hello everyone 👋

I see people blaming the developers when you see a crappy software product , saying that they have done a bad job.

But even it could be true also it could be the product managers who didn’t give enough time todo what needs to be done or project scope is too big for the persons knowledge.

I’ve worked in a company where deadlines were so tight I didn’t have enough time to proper UI and Testing. I used to be only developer who has someone experience and I had to train the interns as well. I am also to blame to joining such company but in desperate times takes desperate measures.

And now when i’m leaving the company and I have spend 2 years of my life for apps that I’m not proud of.

Just rant. Please feel free to give ur thoughts

700 years ago, some monk scraped down the ink from a book, so he could reuse it to write down his stupid prayers.

Recent analysis uncovered that the book he scraped was “Method” by Archimedes that outlined the basics of calculus 1000 years before Leibniz.

It makes me feel miserable and helpless when I think how more advanced our world would be if it didn’t happen. I realize he probably didn’t go like “hehehehe I’m erasing scientific knowledge because religion is better”, and just did what he thought was better, but I feel bad nonetheless.

Seeing there are many people (including me) that cant acces the hackathot, I thitk, it would be nice if we as community could hold an unoficial remote hackathon.

My ideas:

-5 days to code
-github / skype
-chess engines which have to compete eachothers to find the winner
-5 teams
-should be compatible with windows, linex, mac (either an interpreted language or different recompiled versions)

Tell me what you think in the comments

>Middle of night
>css not getting applied conditionally
>a simple ng-class
>me raging
>fuck angular's digest loop
>fuck dom and not giving parse errors
>fuck my life
>Coworker is also confused
>after 1hr, what it could be
>A typo, ifStudent->isStudent
>😑

My coworker can't be bothered with learning git branching, so he comments out significant functionality during testing and then comments it back in before go-live. What could possibly go wrong?

We've had a bunch of flaky tests in our repo for a while now that no one could be bothered to fix; we'd just re-run ci until it's green. Today I looked into it and I was inspired to make this meme, because I lived through it.

Adding logs to investigate just lowered the fail rate making investigation more difficult. I do have an idea of what it might be though so, we'll see tomorrow.

You can't keep wasting your time on people who do not know what the fuck they want. You could be way more time efficient with serious clients.

*After I have finally deployed the requested features*

Client: Why did it take you two weeks in the end? You said it would take you a couple days.

Me: Because you told me to use my imagination on half of the tasks and you kept wanting me to change what I had created, thus unnecessarily doubling the time it should have taken. Besides that probably the unclear communication and the fact that you rarely called me back after you told me to call you.

Client: So if I tell you, exactly, how I want it next time you'll be able to do it in a couple days?

Me: I'm not sure, that depends on what you want. Tell me, exactly, what you want.

Client: Oh it's not much, I'll let you do your thing for the most.

Me: I can't handle another request, sorry. *Ends call*

Friday Eve: Closing eclipse project happily at work. Everything works sorta fine.

Monday morning: Opening eclipse project again. Everything is like i left it. "Main class could not be found."

What the fuck eclipse?

I think the coolest all-nighter I can remember is when me and one of my best friends were still in school. We were up all night figuring out what to make. At the time we played a little browser click game, so we came up with the idea of creating a bot for it.

We're both PHP developers, but we figured that wouldn't be an appropriate language to write a bot in. So we went for C#. Both of us never worked with it.

At the end of the night we built a fully functioning bot, that could continue playing the game when we were at school. It could do all our manual tasks and could even decode Captchas with the Google OCR package.

That night was productive.

Hey fam, first post in devrant!

Possible client comes up to me and asks me what my mockup for his app looks like. I show it to him on running on my Android device.

Him: where are all the images and descriptions/info?

Me: you didn't give me any. I just made what it could look like if we had images and descriptions.

Him: well talk to some people in the departments and put it in.

Me: but that's not my job. You wanted me to make what it could look like if we actually went through with this project.

Him: okay. How hard would it be to make it for Apple?

Noooooooooo... I'm out.

!dev - cybersecurity related.

This is a semi hypothetical situation. I walked into this ad today and I know I'd have a conversation like this about this ad but I didn't this time, I had convo's like this, though.

*le me walking through the city centre with a friend*
*advertisement about a hearing aid which can be updated through remote connection (satellite according to the ad) pops up on screen*

Friend: Ohh that looks usefu.....
Me: Oh damn, what protocol would that use?
Does it use an encrypted connection?
How'd the receiving end parse the incoming data?
What kinda authentication might the receiving end use?
Friend: wha..........
Me: What system would the hearing aid have?
Would it be easy to gain RCE (Remote Code Execution) to that system through the satellite connection and is this managed centrally?
Could you do mitm's maybe?
What data encoding would the transmissions/applications use?
Friend: nevermind.... ._________.

Cybersecurity mindset much...!

Man I wish we could have here some kind of poll - you know to ask a question and see what people think.
It will be kinda awesome
think about it guys

Soo I am the only tech-guy in my family and it's a bit like:

Other: You do program?
Me: yes?
Other: pls repair my printer!

And you guys know how awful that is, aren't you? But in my family it gets tougher...

Today my older sister asked me how to save data from a broken HDD. I said I know a guy who's doing forensic on HDDs and he could make that.

She's like: "but a friend of mine said it could be done easier with software"

And yes, it is! But not that successful...

Now's the point she killed me instantly!
She said: "he opened the HDD and said the disks look fine they could be easily added to a new HDD"....

WHAT THE ACUTAL FUCK I SAID NOW YOUR DRIVE IS BROKEN FOREVER! AND THEN SHE INSULTED ME AND BLOCKED ME ON FUCKING WHATSAPP! SHE IS LEARNING WEBDESIGN WHY THE FUCK DON'T TEACH HER THE BASICS OF FUCKING COMPUTERS! Oh for fuck sakes....

Just thought of a cool feature for devRant: rant it later!

I get why the 2 hours limit between rants exists, but it would be so cool to write a rant and the app to self post it after the 2 hours limit expires!

And it could also give a notification that the rant was posted.

What do you think?

!rant

A few days ago I had an interview, they asked me if I knew Angular. I told them I never used it, and they told me to give it a go anyway. I made what they asked me to do in 8 hours and submitted it for review. Today they called and said they liked it, and asked me to go there tomorrow to talk terms.
Well, tomorrow could be my first day as an Angular developer!

The website of the italian post service is "closed" between 23:45 and 00:15, everyday.
I don't know if something like this happens in other countries...

And do you know when I really need to access it?
ALWAYS IN THESE 30 MINUTES, not the others 1.410 of the day!

P.S.
What do you think, what could be a valid reason to "close" a web service?
I thought about backup, but other services don't have this problem.

What do we have to give you to make you able to accurately predict the scope and length of time it will take you to develop something you know nothing about and have no experience with? How hard could it possibly be? You click a button and BOOM! A unicorn! Please provide estimate in hrs EOD.

At work the other day...

Guy: "Oh hey I was thinking if you could help me with an application to visualize some data."

Me: "Ooookay...what did you have in mind?"

Guy: "I think we have XML files that could be turned into graphs...oh and we could add some trend lines. (Getting more excited) And maybe we could supplement it with live data...oh hey and maybe we could add real time alerts via email..."

Me: *thinks to self...there is no way in hell I am starting to work on something that he is literally coming up with requirements as he's talking* "I need specifics...so go take some time, think it through and get back to me with concrete details and examples."

Guy: "Ok. That should be enough to get you started for now at least."

That would be a big fuck no, good sir. Haven't started and won't start it. He has never mentioned it to me again since then.

The job I am interning at wants to hire me. Yay.
But they want to start me at basic programmer salary, which makes me feel really sad about doing another 1.5 years of specialisation education.
Just to get hired at the salary of what I could have started at 1.5 years ago.

They even keep talking about how competent I am, and how easy it has been implementing me.
I studied to specialise so it would be easy.
Fucking pay the convenience fee.

Sales guy: Hey, you're technical. Can you tell me how I'd go about doing (foobar) in this webapp I have here?
Almond: Err... I've never dealt with that webapp in my life. I wouldn't have a clue.
Sales guy: ...but you're a dev right? Oh well, never mind. Anyone more experienced around here that may know?
Almond: No idea, but I seriously doubt any of the devs will have used it. Maybe one of the other sales guys will?
Sales guy: So you're telling me *none* of the devs around here will know how to do this?!
Almond: Very unlikely (thinking why the hell would any devs be using a sales app, but whatever)

...15 minutes later...

Sales guy: Ahah, I figured it out! (Explains what buttons he had to click in crappy app to do foobar)
Almond: Glad you got it sorted!
Sales guy: I'm really surprised none of you devs could figure this out, but I could. Perhaps I should change careers and be a dev.

...what?!

CEO: What are your plans for these hollidays?

Me: Clean up the house. I haven't had much time because we've had some busy last few months.

CEO: Seriously? Are you joking? (I could see in his eyes, "why would a talented programmer ever waste their time doing menial housework...") I mean, you could be working instead and earning a couple more bucks...

(Fuck him, none of his business...)
Me: I can't delay it this time. My wife has dust allergies.

CEO: Oh. Ok. I get it. When I was a kid, my father and I had some serious dust allergies. The house maid had to clean everything thoroughly at least once a week.

Not surprised...

Don't you just love it when you ask Hibernate to fetch some data from DB and it does that for you.?And also updates a few more tables on its way. And inserts a few more rows. And updates another couple of fields..

Isn't that just amazing? I mean.. What could be more satisfying than getting an "ORA-00001: unique constraint (some.constraint) violated" while issuing a FUCKING **GET** METHOD?

• Plan out everything by taking notes on the rough functionality of the project and how it could be done in a preferably simple way
• Writing code, but documentating it while doing so
• Also trying to write clean code so it can be more easily built upon
• Also keeping everything simple. If I'm using nasty, unreadable one-liners because of efficiency advantages, I'm putting a comment there for what could alternatively be used + explaining it
• Abandon it because side projects never get done

"Hey boss, could you look over this reply to this support case before I send it? I just want to clarify a couple of things first."

"I haven't got the time to look over support case replies - you need to be proactive in deciding what's right, and then just sending them on."

"Ok, no worries."

5 minutes later...

"What the hell have you written on this support case? This isn't correct at all. Now they're going to be really confused. You've completely contradicted what I told them yesterday on the phone."

Let's call my college colleague Andrew.

Andrew knows that we have a really tight deadline to complete 2 different assignments to deliver in the same weekend for evaluation.

Andrew says that we really knows about coding, although we doesn't understand the most basic principles about OOP (like encapsulation, for example).

Whenever I asked for help, Andrew said that is "going to do some research" and that what I'm asking is "really hard". He then asked every single other group if then could provide him, with some code so he could "understand" what I asked him to do.

Once they said "no" he would come and tell me he really tried but hadn't be able to do it, 2 days after needed it, delaying the whole project.

Don't be like Andrew.

Wow I didn't realise how much money I could be saving by actually putting things in my dishwasher when I run it.
Mind-blowing right?

I used to just run my dishwasher empty every day for the fun, but now I get clean dishes too 🤯?
What a wonderful age we live in.

Thanks corporate water ad 👍

I am really getting sick of recruiters contacting me with "great opportunities" then when I ask questions about the post they just give me the answers they think I want to hear. I know when you're lying because if you knew the answer you would have led with that. At least say you'll find out more and then give me a follow up response.

Recruiter: Would it be possible for you to deliver hacking training?
Me: You mean pentesting?
R: Yes, that.
Me: Well, what will it be used for? Breaking into peoples networks and spying on them?
R: Yes, they'll want it to be able to spy on people.
Me: Well, that's unethical, I'm only interested in defensive security practices.
R: Yes, they'll only want it for ethical reasons like defence and against bad guys.
Me: *dirtiest look I could muster*

I mean there's gullible and then there's what ever it is you think I am.

Something's not right here.

Warning: I code just for fun.

Today I finished a website and I asked to my friends to tell me what they think about it saying that it wasn't yet properly responsive and that could be some error, so I asked if they could use the computer to view it and all of them sent to me screenshots of the website on mobile.

I hate them.

P.S. Sorry for my english...

Sure, this is surely PayPal, what else could it be?!

a girl from my class made a presentation and it was really good, and now i'm thinking "how did she do it? what came to her mind that she could prepare such a good presentation?"
and also, "i know that no matter how much i try, my presentations will not be that good, because those are MY presentations"...

I just bought a USB mobile power pack... Here my thought:

-It's on sale!
-But do I really need it?
-.... Will I could give it to my dad if I don't...
-but what it's it been... Chinese products are cheap...
-this isn't cheap... It's just on sale!
-hm....
-you know you'll need it.. at the rate my phone's battery gets used in a years time it won't be able to leave half a day...
-hm....
-cmon only $21 hrs left... this is a steal... It's only 15$....

-ah ok.... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

*After buying**

It's not too late to cancel.... Should I cancel?

Please tell me something wrong with me, and whole world is working like that! It can't be right! Or could it, and I'm just one sad fuck who don't know shit?

So... We've got:
1. Jira reporting (agile style with cards and shit)
2. Task timers (via application integrated to Jira in order to count how much time we spent on a task)
3. End of the day email reporting with description of what we have done today (Jira is not enough?)
4. Daily morning meetings with a team leader to report what we're gonna do today
5. Git merge code reviews for each finished component (that lasts for hours)
6. Weekly status meetings
7. Working hours reporting with a fucking fingerprint

And on top of all of that, the developer is the one who just writes the code - team leader decides how this code is gonna look, what will be written first and what last, what libraries will be used and so on...

Context:
Me, Front-end Developer, Javascript stuff
---

Junior Dev: Hey xxzer0, could you help me with this? I spent the entire day on it and at this point, I think I just broke Chrome.

xxzer0: *---* Okay, let me see.

Junior Dev: Do you see it? I am updating the Javascript code but it's not working at all. The browser is not even loading it... Literally, the code I just wrote is not there.

**
Now be me, be the fucking idiot I was and I have been my whole life, I already knew what was going on because I lost a fucking day on it as this guy.
**

xxzer0: Well, let me see just one thing...

'Open Chrome Dev Tools' -> 'Network' -> 'Disable Cache'.

xxzer0: Now try again...

Junior Dev: What are you..doi........ IT'S WORKING! O.O

Chrome, I love you but sometimes I wish you could make this more "accessible" to newcomers.

Windows 10: Please reboot, I want to update
Me: K, do it
Windows 10, after reboot: I could not update, what do?

I had this conversation with my laptop about 15 times in the past couple of months and SINCE THEN I DID NOT HAVE A SINGLE SUCCESSFUL UPDATE. WHEN A NEW WANNACRY ROLLS OUT I WILL BE THE FIRST VICTIM BECAUSE AT THIS POINT A POTATOE HAS MORE RECENT SECURITY UPDATES THAN I DO

"Architect"(A) - Hey, StrucN, we have a bit of a problem on the module you are working on (which the previous "developers" seem to have given it roofies)

Me: Okay, what seems to be the problem?

A: There is a need to add some functionality to it, we need you to ...

Me: I see, well it can be done but it wouldn't be so simple - the module is a mess and the change would need to be well tested

A: I fear the clients deadline is for tomorrow

Me: Well he'll have to wait, rushing it is the worst possible option

A: I'll talk to him about it, thanks

After around half an hour A rushes back

A: Hey I passed a ticket to you about the additions we spoke about, it should be ready for tomorrow

Me: It won't be ready, it's too complex to complete is in such a shirt notice (considering it's already the end of the day and all the changes need to be pushed tommorow to prod)

A: I know *programmer from useless team B* did something similar so as it is close to what we need you should copy it.

My inner voice: FUCK YOU YOU USELESS FUCKING CUNT! THERE SHOULDN'T BE ANY COPY PASTE SHIT FROM SOME UNRELATED MODULE! YOU SHIT STAINED MEAT BAG ALREADY DID SUCH A SIN IN THE PAST AND I HAD TO FIX ALL OF IT. THE MODULE SHOULDN'T SUFFER ANY MORE AS IT IS ALREADY A GODDAMN RAPE VICTIM!

WHERE DID PROPER PROFESSIONALISM WENT? WHY IS IT THE INDUSTRY FILLED WITH STUPID WANNA BE "ARCHITECTS" WHILE OTHER MORE COMPETENT FOLK SHOULD ALWAYS BE IGNORED BECAUSE IT'S ALWAYS SHOULD BE READY FOR TOMMOROW?!

For fucks sake I miss my old Architect, he could really understand the essence of program development

*If you could ban something from the field of programming forever, what would it be? 👀

*Pls. don't ban me thx c:

If you could randomly decide that a specific software platform (like an entire OS) will not exist tomorrow, what would it be? And why iOS?

Yeah, maybe I can solve your problem in 5 minutes with you. But first you have to spend 5 minutes explaining it to me, and I need to spend 5 minutes listening, and after we're done, it takes 5 minutes to remember what I was doing in the first place.

So you better be sure you could not have solved it in 25 minutes googling on your own, or you're effectively saying your time is more valuable than mine.

And if you spend another 5 minutes forcing me to spend 5 minutes listening to your goddam stories about what it was like growing up on your fucking farm, so help me jebus, I will take that idiotic thing you call a mouse and shove it so far up your ass you'll be scrolling with your duodenum.

We had a course where we, the students, got connected with companies who could pitch ideas for us to choose. So we were to develop something for a company for free, but that probably won't be so bad, right? When the course was over we told the company we would fix any critical bugs that appeared after the final prototype was developed. We only had 8 weeks to complete the project, and that includes documentation (project plan etc) and other "school stuff" like an essay on what we've learned and so on. In other words, didn't have enough time to develop what the company was really looking for. Still those guys is bugging us about minor bugs they want fixed or "could you just implement this feature" . The course is over, they have all the source code so they could hire someone else to do it (or us, you could pay us you know?) but nooooo they think we owe it to them. We gave them a fully functional application to use, free of charge, but that still isn't enough. And they threaten with "but you can use this in a future resume" (yea we had to sign a NDA). Fuck it, am I being a whiny bitch?

bought a windows license
built the pc
booted from usb
ask for license, put in bought license
installation seems normal
... windows isn't activated ... what?? how?? why is there a different key from the one i just entered?? and why does it still deny it when i try to change the key to my bought one?? y u do dis?😩

does anyone have an idea, what could be causing that?

Was talking about how I implemented CI/CD in one of our projects as a starting point to others and how it worked by running tests and deploying to the server and one of my colleagues laughed about having to have tests at all, I explained and asked him what was he gonna do that morning, his answer:

"Well, I'm gonna test the system X and fix some bugs"

To what I replied:

"If you have automated tests you could have those tests automatic(?!) and they also help you finding bugs early"

Wtf do ppl have in mind that they prefer remediation over prevention and they end up wasting their time with shit that could be fully automated?

A new administrative assistant joined the company I work at. I presented myself and told her that I'm doing devops. After a couple of days she sent me a massage asking for my assistance. Very curious of what could that be I approached her workstation, and then she told me her mouse is not working and asked me to fix it.

Recruiter reaches out to me, he says he saw my LinkedIn and thinks I'd be a great fit.

I say ok and send my resume.

He gets me a phone screen. I do it, I think I do a pretty good job. (I'm able to answer all the questions well, I think I'm onto the coding interview for sure.)

A couple days later I get a generic rejection email.

I'm not sure what happened. They had my resume, I know I did well on the technical questions (I do that kind of thing for my current job all the time.)

No idea why I'm rejected. If it was something about my experience, they could have seen that from my resume. If it was something from my phone screen, I have no idea what it could have been.

Just wanted to rant >:[

Interviewing is much harder than it was even a few years ago. I go into it knowing I probably won't get the job. It may sound negative but it relieves the pressure. I also make note of what I didn't do well on so I can work on it. Last year I wanted to leave my job so I would go to interviews at lunch and do phone interviews in the parking lot. I was turned down for soo many jobs. Just a couple of years ago I could get a job in one or two interviews. Things have gotten more complicated. It used to be if you knew even a little about a backend language and a little sql you could easily get a job. It has all changed. I think the javascript framework of the month thing has only made it worse.

Long time lurker, I now have something to show you and it's something I've proudly made!

I've been working on OctoLenses lately, a Chrome extension allowing you to filter your PR and issues on Github. I find it really useful on a daily basis; and you might too

It can be used to:
- Monitor the PRs that need a review (or that have been reviewed successfuly)
- Find issues on open-source projects you like that you could take on
- Anything you can express with a Github search basically

It's good enough that I feel like I can share it with you, and I'd really like if you could take some of your time to give me a bit of feedback.

What do you like?
What you don't?
Which feature should I add?
Anything constructive basically :)

Thank you (and sorry for the self-promotion)!

8:00am I should finish this feature in about 1 hour.
9:00am Am just left with testing it.

12:00pm I should have finished this 3hrs ago.
3:00pm (Calls another dev to take a second look on what could be wrong)
5:00pm I think tomorrow I will be fresh enough to fix this a little quick.

Here's a thought!

Our bodies are mortal. And they are like flowers: they grow, blossom at their best and then begin their slow degradations, deaths.

Our mind is what seems to be the essence of _us_.

Now suppose someone finds a way to copy our minds into some tech so they could survive our bodies' deaths. Making us sort of immortal. Sounds cool, eh?

But that would make a copy of your mind. You would still be stuck in your mortal body while your copy would be immortal. Would you be happier to die knowing that it's YOU who is dying and not your copy, rather than dying w/o leaving a copy of you behind? Is a copy of you still YOU?

It could be YOU for others. But is it YOU for you?

People: "Well we could put this data in the address book.....?"

Me: "Wait, what does that data have to do with the address book? Does a given address need that data / is it specific to that address?"

People: "No it's not related to addresses ... we just thought we could put it there."

Me: ....

Me: "So if you use that address you always want that specific data you want stored in the address book?"

People: "Oh no it's not tied to addresses."

Me: ....

Me: "So help me out here, when do you use a given piece of data? In the example here, what made you add that information?"

-Silence-

People: "Um, I'm not sure."

Me: "I think it would be a good idea if we found out. That might provide us some important guidance here."

I started my part time job as a tutor today. Yesterday (while preparing) I learned how a browser actually renders a page and bunch of other stuff. Don't get me wrong, I kind of knew it. But not in such detail that I could ever explain it... even though I work in web development since 2011

This will be fun, I wonder what I will learn next

During one of my interviews a few years ago i was asked "when you leave and are suddenly reminded of that question you really wanted to ask, could you tell us what would it be?"

To which i replied, i don't know it hasn't happened yet.

What is it with devs (not all, by any means!) who don't understand networks or basic computer operation? I'm not talking about anything complex, but things like the dev who asked if his IP address could be whitelisted so he could remote in from home. We asked what his public IP address is and he said 10.0.0.27.

Or the new dev who started and said her laptop camera didn't work and logged a ticket, only to be asked if she had the camera cover open or closed and said, "oh, that's what that lever is for."

Don't get me wrong - many devs and sysadmins and IT people of all fields are excellent. And there are some who are crap in every field. This is no rant about devs in general, just *these* crap devs that I can only throw my hands in the air and think, well, they scored ok in the SQL test.

University makes us sign our documents electronically. What this means is that we're required to put pictures of our signature onto all sorts of declarations. Since none of the documents we "sign" this way are important it could be okay, but I don't understand why it's beneficial to encourage us to keep a photo of our signature on our computers, paving the way to identity theft.

So you heard from that awesome tool that apparantly everybody uses.

Go to the web page:
One single continuous page in 90ies style with random blahblah targetting expert users and various edge cases without context. Some lines about arcane build commands in an unfamiliar language.

Not even a single, comprehensive line, what it does, what it is good for, no minimal example or hint even how to run it.

So you write thousands of lines of dense code, but are not able to drop some first lines of plain, understandable english for people just visiting the first time? How hard could it be? Fuck you, srsly.

First task as Python delevoper intern - fix non-essential for business app, written by an intern last year. Apparently that intern didn't even know what an object is. In Python, where everything, including functions, is an object.

I have to fix it piece by piece. It would be faster to throw old code and start from scratch.

Yet I'm glad they gave me this task. I feel like I'm learning a lot working with this shitty code. And they assigned a great person to help me should I have any questions/problems.

I could not be happier.

What a cool question... um

My super power would be to intuitively read assembly. I could also focus it into laser eyes. A super power can do other things. Tell me why it shouldn't.

We spent a lot of time creating these CSS animated pop-ups that described parts of the product. They looked great, but the client called and said they were "flickering" on her computer. We debugged and could not for the life of us figure out what she meant by flicker. The code was so simple that we couldn't imagine how it could be flickering. It was just a jQuery fadeIn(). It worked fine for us in every browser we tried. So we just gave up. The next day, the client called back and said,"Hey, it looks great. You fixed the flickering. How did you do it?" And our dev replied, "Uh, we set the flicker to 0".

So I help teach a class of high schoolers to program and I want to pose a question, what can I do to give & better more interesting presentations, and what should I avoid?

Today I gave a presentation and the first half of showing them some practical things you can do with Python didn’t go as well which I figured would be a little boring,

but the second half I showed them a script I wrote to install fonts in Linux and I essentially set it up so that I could rewrite it in front of the class and I walked them through the process of rewriting it to show how useful loops are and they really enjoyed watching the process, so I thought about doing more stuff like that where I just walk them through problems but Idk

Let me know what you think I could do better

What follows is an email I want to send very badly right now:

RE: please provide new date format

There is no new date format. You have the day and month switched. In the sample you've provided.

You've been getting away with it up til now because the digits were small enough to be either a month or day.

Then, as soon as you hit a snag you immediately gave up and assumed it was me changing things. You came to me before even making a guess what could be wrong.

Learn to fucking troubleshoot PLEASE. I am sick of your lazy shit coming to me with an issue every time you stub your toe. You are professional developers and I am your junior.

Font Awesome. Stop changing the format. 10 changes/page refreshes and I still don't have the fucking icon. what is it? fa fas or fa-solid or fucking what now?... make your fucking mind up!

What is it with companies that get super popular through crowd funding and then just end up annoying?

Your tagging system sucks too. Finding relevant icons could be much better with underlying tags.

Been looking into 2D maps for a game. I am learning how to use tools that do autotiling. I want to have generated worlds for terrain. It is interesting how the scope of what you are learning starts expanding rapidly and can overwhelm you. I started wanting to learn autotiling. This went from that to autogen, to modifying terrain, to how to store generated terrain, to how to store difference between autogen and player modified, to how to separate things into chunks, to how to store a whole world worth of data! Like dude, chill. Just learn how to use autotiling first. Then learn how autogen, then learn how to efficiently chunk things,. Also the 2d data won't be big so just store the data you genned so if modified. The worlds don't have to be ultra huge. Really stop freaking out what it could be and see what it is. JUST FUCKING ITERATE!

It is wild to watch yourself get featuritus without learning how to crawl fist. Just divide and conquer.

I've noticed looking at the card exit of a building that most people a) just carry their laptop without putting it in the backpack because the carpark is a jump away anyway, b) that stickers on said laptops can leak your infrastructure

No idea what made me interested in that, but if you take the average of people's laptop stickers (sadly not everybody had their laptop or maybe even a laptop at all, so I've got just 20) - you could probably tell what tools and what services the company is running.

Could be a funny coincidence and I was able to verify later by googling their company, but it's an interesting non trackable way to know what services and tools need to be exploited/emulated to possibly gain access to some high security network.

I feel like somebody had to have a talk/presentation about this, so I wonder, had anybody else seen something like that? or how far could this actually go?

I keep seeing the word “privileged” thrown around, and this one, I actually understand to be right.

But if you have a mental disease or another serious incurable condition, kick like 5000 points off your privilege scale.

Money and medication don’t always help. I’m ready to give a very, very thick stack of money to anyone who can actually cure what I have. I wish I could do it.

I've never liked Quora, but today I decided to sign up because I had an interesting question to ask, about my solution for an angular problem and why it could not be applicable.
Five minutes later 6 people followed my post.
Ten minutes later my question disappeared and nobody knows where the hell it went. WTF? My question count passed from 1 to 0, it disappeared from my profile and from the whole website. No notifies, no emails about it. What the hell happened?

Few weeks ago: Please write the system design docs for feature X of the new project Y. We need it in two weeks.
Few days later: Stop working on the docs, the customer hasn't yet bought that feature.
Few days later: We found that we included that feature in the main contract already. We need the docs in two days.
Today (docs delivered a month ago): There was a misinterpretation of the requirements and the contract, the customer hasn't bought the feature with the main contract, it has to be sold additionally. You didn't do anything 'til now, did you?

It would be really nice, if sales could finally decide what the customer bought and then tell me about the requirements that are already covered in the docs anyway. But I fear it could end in asking the customer 🤪🔫

PM said I modified code that change UI so user may not familiar with. So, how could I know what is user familiar with if PM doesn't include spec or user manual to me.

No one tell me how to solve the problem, since you just want problem to be solve I solved it my way. :)

WARNING: I am a n00b at this crypto shit!

I've decided I might dable in cryptocurrency mining for a little and see what comes of it but have no clue how to start... Can someone point me in the direction of anything that could be helpful?

Decided it was high time to give windows the boot, other than the very rare gaming I do there seemed to no longer be a valid reason to keep it. So off I went, kubuntu looked nice, but after 2 hours I determined it did not like me much. No matter how much I google, could not find out why it would not pick up sda in the installers drive selection.

So figured, last try, grab the Ubuntu ISO and booted with that, and what do you know, 5 min later I am installing my software....

Me: I'm bored this could be handy
Me 1 hour latera
Me: hey this is a fun language and it looks efficient for this task *learns things so that I can do x task in y language*
Me couple hours later
This was fun what now

Me: here is my idea with the code. Does it follow what you had in mind?
Dev lead : this is good...really good but if you could take everything you have here and make it a reusable module that would be great!
Me: so it is or isn't what you had in mind?
Dev lead :: it is but I need you to change it all.
Me....FML

"If flowers could grow on the moon. I'd plant you a garden of stars. So you could see in the dark,
that you're not alone."

I have a poetry book coming out (eventually) called "Steal this poem."

To date, my poetry has gotten one guy laid. Thats good enough for me.

And if you ever wanted to know what it feels like to be a poet, now you too can be one.

Steal this poem.

[DISCLAIMER : Potential Troll Topic here] I am self taught python and js (not considering myself as a real developer as I don't push much on github and work in a complete other field than anything related to CS right now) and would be interested to learn another language, with another paradigm. So, as I love you all, I would be interested In your highlights as I am currently considering either C, C++, Rust or Go.

with C, I know I could interface it with python. With C++ (despite Linus considering it evil) I know I could interface it with Node. I don't know currently what to do with Go, but some people seem really enthusiastic about it (not really relevant I know) and Rust seems like the C of today, with a bunch of new cool kid stuff. My main goal, after all, is to learn something new, to have another sight on programming. Either understanding more about hardware or learning another way of coding (like different from oop).

I know it sounds like a troll, but I promise it's not, just a serious genuine question (hopefully it won't be closed here like on SO)

So what do you think devranters ?

Being eternally grateful to all of you, I wish you a good night.

WHAT. THE. FUCK.

Fucking UCEPROTECT blacklist, who the hell blacklists a whole fucking ASN when they detect even a large amount of spam coming from it? For all they know, it could be just a couple of IPs. But nooooo, instead of blacklisting IPs, they blacklist the whole ASN, so now, even some of our machines are on the list, without us ever doing anything. Just because the IP is from the DigitalOcean prefix. UGH.

I was in a Meta workshop for PhD candidates, and they spoke about some of their programs. Meta is financing (paying the tuition fees + salary) for PhD students in Oxford and UCL. Could be interesting for people who wanted to go for a PhD in the UK but could not afford it because UK's higher education system sucks.
There was also a coding interview preparation session, and it was honestly nice to hear from them exactly what they expect from their candidates.
But maybe I have positive feeling about this event just because I went to a fucking Green Day concert an hour later, and it was the best day of my pitiful life.

# Honestly, no intention of starting a holy war;

Been a Linux guy for over 9 years spanning school, college and my previous job years;

Now I have to use Windows at my new job. I know very little abt this os and it has never been among my strong skills (only used it for gaming);

What's more intriguing is that my current company's entire infrastructure is Windows based - which I had no idea that it could be possible at such a large scale;

I don't know about what I feel about this whole thing. But what I know is that I don't wanna shy away from it. I love the job and the role (only just if it was Linux, it'd be perfect).

Just need this for a future reflection:
Can anyone confirm if it's the same with other investment banks/financial services institutions etc. infrastructure?

Does anyone else have that project that they work on in there spare time? Well mine was a Pokemon MMO because I'm not a games developer and found it a really nice challenge/break from normal work. It's almost ready to be played but it's sad that it'll never be released. I mean I could recreate all of the sprites and game mechanics but that wasn't what I originally set out to do.

Business Continuity / DR 101...
How could GitLab go down? A deleted directory? What!
A tired sysadmin should not be able to cause this much damage.
Did they have a TESTED dr plan? An untested plan is no plan. An untested plan does not count. An untested plan is an invitation to what occurred.
That the backups did not work does not cut it - sorry GitLab. Thorough testing is required before a disruptive event.
Did they do a thorough risk assessment?
We call this a 'lesson learned' in my BC/DR profession. Everyone please learn by it.
I hope GitLab is ok.

I was an introvert while growing up hence I found interacting with non-living things easier. When I was 11 i.e. like 17 years I told my parents to enroll me into computer classes. They didn't see much of a future in it so they refused. I fought hard and finally they agreed. Hence started my journey with computers.

First week all students were allowed to explore the computer we were assigned and also were taught to play basic Windows 95 default games to make it interesting. It was all fun. Next week the teacher said he would be teaching us how to tell computer to do what we want i.e. programming. Hearing that I could make my computer do what I want excited me a lot. I felt I could finally communicate to a computer. This is how I learnt BASIC. I was so amazed I could do so many things like take input and do calculations etc. I decided I would do this kind of job in the future if it exists.

So now I am actually doing what I wanted to do when I started programming i.e. coding job!

When leaving for the day on my last day in the company.
I thought what I learned here? nothing technical except how to survive the politics, backstabber, betrayal, blame game and getting used.

I wish it could be added as skills in CV.

So I finally decided to switch to Linux.
And I need help choosing distro.
I know this is not a good place to ask this, I could just use google. But I want to hear it from you guys, from actual devs whose work with it every day, and not from some ***** bloggers whose barely know what is OS.
So please just write which distro you are using and if you are happy with it. I will be very thankful.

Your "feature" just became my problem. Your "great idea" is now my migraine. What you did in 300 lines, another team was already doing in 5.

The next time you `brew install...` on your laptop, you should fucking think that the infra team has to install those dependencies, on every server, too.

In less time than it took you to create your code, I could have given you several functions to call. I could have saved all of us weeks of work. Fucking ask cross-team before you cowboy code your next big idea please.

Got a problem you need to be solved, somebody else probably solved it, just fucking ask.

!rant, but a feature request.

@dfox, whenever I use the comment box, it covers the whole screen. So, if I wanna tag somebody in my comment, I gotta close the comment box once, memorize their username since there's no autocomplete on @'s and then type back.

Either the comment box could be shortened, or autocomplete be added to user tag function, which could atleast detect the users commenting on the current thread (since programmers suck at memorising).

What say, DevRanters?

If you could change anything about your office what would it be?

Little brother wants learn programming and asked me if I could help him learn it.
"Sure, I'll show you how I learned it."

Gave him a book for starters to go through it. To have a slightly better time, I'll read his code and recommend some ways to go.

In my opinion it's important to learn to learn by yourself and learn to help yourself. Therefore I think this is kinda a good way to start with a bit of supervision from me.

What do u think of it, or how would you have done it?

I mean sure I could be some kind of teacher, but with a fulltime job + uni I don't really have time for that.

So instead of crying, what if we create a new open internet? We could call it NettyMcNetface (NMN). 🌐 It'd be free for everybody and open for all content under all existing and new open licences for free and paid content, for personal and business use.

The only hiccup: it must be completely disconnected from the current internet. A complete reboot on a new physical network.

Does article 13 apply to that too?

Oh, and I bet there's already some initiative involving an alternative open network. Any tips?

If you could have a Pokemon on your devrant avatar with modifications, what would it be?

I take dibs on a Zangoose in a ninja costume.

I used to be a big security guy, not allowing stuff like most of the social media, not bringing my phone anywhere, carrying a RPi tablet for privacy reasons. Very Stallman stuff.

Recently I noticed that I don't care so much.. I see these things as opportunities, for instance Microsoft products could be benefitial for job opportunities, I have some workout sessions on my phone.

I could restrict myself... but is it worth it just to decline some capitalist/politician's row in a dataset for analysis?

But then again I feel as a society I think we should either do this or request this data to be distributed to us as well.

Should you be playing a game of cards, when the enemy can see your hand? What do u think?

PAID for a support call,
dude's answering could barely be understood while speaking English and didn't know a thing about the topic of the call itself (it was very very specific).

The call lasted 5m and was only used to schedule another one on Monday to let them understand what we're asking and come back at us with a solution.

Fucking waste of time.

I wish I could design actually good looking websites. It's not about css, my problem is that I just can't imagine what I would want it to look like. My brain do be very not creative.

How does random number generation work? I'm curious. What are different methods in which you can generate random numbers?

If you could link me to an article or some docs, that'd be appreciated. How far does your understanding of it go?

Thanks for your time.

On Friday afternoon, i got an e-mail from the IT manager of the company I'm working for.

"Due to security issues we have been forced to stop the server you deployed"

Today, on Monday morning, i got a message from the director saying LITERALLY NOBODY CAN ACCESS THE SYSTEM

I wonder what it could be.

I'm not sure if this should be a joke or random, but the SBB train info screen in St. Gallen on platform 5 just decided to interpret the data given a bit differently than intended.

It is not broken and no other screen has that problem. What could it be, I wonder. But I don't care enouht to post it as a question.

I guess random would have been more appropriate.

That sad sad feeling of deleting my devrant account, because a pesky co-worker somehow discovered my alter ego on the Internet.

I don't necessarily want them to know some of the things I have said in the past. I don't regret said things, I needed to get them off my chest. It is just this person is ... what do you call them? Oh yes, a Snitch! I could see bad things happening if what I said got into the wrong hands.

Any who good to be back, I love this community.

I am trying to apply for a student credit card. Should be relatively simple, but guess what: it isn't. First there was a question on your income. I didn't know if you had to include your student loan by issued by the goverment and after calling the bank, the answer seemed to be no. And the form didn't succeed because your income should be higher than 1 euro. So I've contacted the bank again and it seems that you could just fill in your student loan as income. Okay, so that should fix the problem. So I came very close to completing the form, gave the website me an error in the last step!

I used to play games a lot, I had good grades at school which could make me a doctor or scientist. But my interest has always been leaning towards computers and my parents didn't really liked it. When I was having dilemmas about which path to choose for my career, parents told me, choose anything you want as long as it's not about computers. So immediately I know what I want to be...

How do you ask a co worker about their salary? Heard from one of our new hires that he asked for considerably more than what I started at, but I'm not sure if he was referring to his base salary or total value of compensation. It would boost my confidence considerably if I knew what I could be asking for. Hell even getting that as a starting would be quite a step up.

Long time no see devRant. This rant is dedicated to an MQTT implementation we use. Mosquitto, mqtt.js - FUCK YOU.

I spent the last fucking 30+ hours trying to find why the bloody fuck the stupid server / client won't connect to the shitty mqtt broker. From changing all possible config, enabling & disabling specific code nothing abso-fucking-lutely works.

But then it will randomly decide to connect to the fucking broker, not causing any issues at all. And each fucking day when I wake up again and think to myself: oh today I can actually leave when it is still somewhat bright outside - NOPE. Because guess what? The fucking shitty abomination doesn't work anymore.

I just love these types of problems that are almost impossible to debug because the only logs you get is: "SERVER disconnected". It's impossible to get a proper reason out of this shit show, it's just turned into randomly guessing what the error could be (and especially where it could be).

And each time I got it to work, tested it and let the testing team know that they can start testing it will just stab me in the back and be like "fuck you, I'm not working any more". Luckily it's not like the deadline is next week... otherwise work is great, trust me.

Started a new job as a dev. First days revealed no local admin rights, no right to use Linux locally and a very limited set of Software. Negotiated compromise to get a remote VM with Linux and a user who is part of sudo. VM turned out to be isolated by proxy, so I can not install anything new. At least Docker is pre-installed and I hoped it could work out. But guess what no access to dockerhub and I can not pull any images. Admin told me to copy manually the images with scp.

I'd never thought that there could be any companies out there who treats devs like that. What puzzles me most, there're lot of devs staying with that company for years, even decades already and they're good guys, please don't get me wrong.

Did you encounter anything like that? Could you make any difference there, where you met anything like it.

I reached the point after 3 weeks where I do not think I can make any difference and when it'll take ages to move people and company policy.
I do not want to give up, but I fear it is pointless to fight for change there. I am out of options and about to leave asap. Can you recommend me anything else?

Thanks in advance and for your time :)
Felt good to write it down.

If you could choose between:
• Waiting for an original idea to do something innovative (and maybe never get it).
• Spending an enormous amount of time to recreate one of the first projects you've worked on (and loved) as a beginner, using new technologies and the knowledge gained over the years, knowing that it could be a good product but will probably not get the interest of public and will not sell well on the app stores.
• Working on a project that could work (or not) and become popular, but that doesn't really interest you.

What would you do?
Personal satisfaction or profit?

Of course I don't want to focus on profit, but I'm still a student and my free time is very short, and sometimes I work very hard (I tend to put social life, exams, health, etc. on the second place) on projects that nobody uses. My family and friends think I'm crazy, and sometimes me too.
It's something bad, isn't it?

AMQ cluster is misbehaving.. Master is constantly dying, slave is starting under root rather than app account, connection to AMQ DB takes 20-40 seconds (while queries execute in <0.1sec and TCP probe takes <0.01sec to succeed), monitoring is down,...

I mean it's gotta be the virus - what else could it be.

Each time I try to study someone else’s (cool) JS files, to learn from it, there are always some funky function calls that throw me off. I wish the person could be beside me and just walk me through why they did what they did at each step.

It’s just tough sometimes. I see all these cool projects on GitHub and I go, “let me try to analyse it,” and then I see all these properties too. Sometimes I feel compelled to just check the API but it seems like I’d be going into a blackhole of never-ending API depths.

What are some tips that you JS pros have?

Today I‘ve been investigating a freeze in our app. It took me many hours to narrow it down to the textfield validation regex. And it turned out to be a "catastrophic backtracking" issue.
I‘m a regex noob so I don‘t have a clue how it occurs exactly. But I‘m a bit perplexed about what a seemingly innocent regex can cause.

For me it became another argument against regex now.
I‘ve rewritten the regex into readable code and the freeze is gone.

I could try to fix the regex but… nah. The code is better anyway.

I recently went to an office to open up a demat account

Manager: so your login and password will be sent to you and then once you login you'll be prompted to change the password

Me: *that's a good idea except that you're sending me the password which could be intercepted* ok

Manager: you'll also be asked to set a security question...

Me: *good step*

Manager: ...which you'll need to answer every time you want to login

Me: *lol what? Maybe that's good but kinda seems unnecessary. Instead you guys could have added two factor authentication* cool

Manager: after every month you'll have to change your password

Me : *nice* that's good

Manager: so what you can do change the password to something and then change it back to what it was. Also to remember it keep it something on your number or some date

Me: what? But why? If you suggest users to change it back to what it was then what is the point of making them change the password in the first place?

Manager: it's so that you don't have to remember so many different passwords

Me: but you don't even need to remember passwords, you can just use softwares like Kaspersky key manager where you can generate a password and use it. Also it's a bad practice if you suggest people who come here to open an account with such methods.

Manager: nothing happens, I'm myself doing that since past several years.

Me: *what a fucking buffoon* no, sir. Trust me that way it gets much easier to get access to your system/account. Also you shouldn't keep your passwords written down like that (there were some password written down on their whiteboard)

Manager: ....ok...so yeah you need sign on these papers and you'll be done

Me:(looking at his face...) Umm..ok

I think mine had to be when I was working with SQL and Lua. I was attempting to store some ints into the database but kept having it fail randomly. It was a 50/50 chance that it would succeed or fail. I tried reading errors (Limited on what I could see) after a while (Almost 3 days, since everything I could think of didn’t have issues and was completely lost) I realized the system another developer setup returned either string or int, thus it causing it to error out when I gave it a string. Once I added a tonumber statement, all my headaches went away.

Running my own business is not going well. Hasnt for years now. Previous dev jobs were also just nightmares. I feel like i cant cut it as a freelancer, or as a full time dev. I do enjoy programming but my resume is crap and my worthwhile portfolio items are basically all locked down under NDAs or ambiguous accountability. I cant prove im even worth hiring and im almost too old to be considered for any junior role. Not that i think i could handle it. So im considering finding a new career and keeping coding as my hobby. But first i have to decide what to do about my remaining client. Which is fine because... i dont even know what i could do for a full time job now. Ugh, im so profoundly discouraged i dont even want to try and think about this anymore.
The weekly rant topic indirectly applies here but since its a bunch of self pity i decided it would be best to not tag it such...

My pc has this weird glitch where anytime I install or uninstall a Steam game my headset microphone (Logitech G933) mutes, and I can only unmute it again after a couple of seconds. It's been this way for the longest time (though not always) and I have not the slightest fucking clue what could be causing it. Anyone else ever heard of something like this?

I know. I have posted a lot of images of my desktop earlier. They looked really good but something similiar could be made by a monkey. What i mean by that is i didnt put much effort into them.

This time i decided to start over and make a new desktop and actually put some effort into it. So here it is.

which would be the coolest stat that you could get from devRant?

i kinda wanna know what % of ++'s are to me, or what % of rants are from me. of course, if this were implemented, i'd think it should be private?

thoughts?

If you could keep only one alias from your {bash, zsh, etc...}rc what would it be?

What if we had a universal distribution with pre-made hardware that could run software from any operating system such as macOS, Windows, Linux, Android, and iOS without the need for dual-booting or emulation?
Would it be possible for this to work perfectly?

I think what we need is a bot that scrapes user information from Facebook. That way we could show people that not only Facebook, but everyone can earn a lot of info about someone.

All these people starting to hate and blame Facebook for it's issues...
And no one realizes that it could be their fault.
If everyone shares so much info about their lives, it's very presumably, that Facebook knows a lot about you.

_FUCKING_ damn... I just struggled for well over an hour because some icons on my site were displaying different colors in my browser than when viewed otherwise. They're simple icon outlines which should be #111111, but in the browser after checking with a color picker (they were clearly off) the color was #181818.

Turns out it's got something to do with the way gimp exports the png (I think, still not 100% sure sadly). My guess atm: in the export settings the "Save color profile" option was enabled (not sure why, could be I did that at some point). After clicking "Load Defaults" the option is disabled, and after another export the colors look good.

Time wasted :( Feels good to have it fixed though. Does anyone know more about what "Save color profile" does and if that could be the cause of this?

Modern hardware is rubbish. I recently donated a load of computers from the 1970s and 1980s to a technology museum, they all worked well and could still be used and set up in the museum's displays. My more recent stuff, from the last few years, I decided to sell on eBay. Some of it just had to be thrown out, mostly due to non-replaceable batteries that would no longer charge. What nonsense is this? Why is it easier to use a 35-year-old computer than a 3-year-old Chromebook or 5-year-old iPad?

I haven't coded a new project in a long time. I want to build something, show it to the world and hope people use it. I love webapps as I'm pretty experienced in this, and have a huge interest for smart homes, internet of things, twilio, innovative payments and more. What could my MVP be?

The "AH"-moment when as a boy discovered that with this instructions in QBasic I could literally let the thing do *anything*.
The "HA"-moment only little afterwards that I'll probably never have a clue what a worthwhile thing to make it do would be.

When everything kind of just clicked.
I was struggling with learning how to program for quite some time when I first started, but one day I'm not sure what happened but everything clicked. It all started making sense and I felt like I could do anything with code. It was on that day that I knew I was going to be a dev for life.

So I am a Software Engineer at a small scale company.
I need to coordinate with customers, understand the requirements and design and develope the solutions.
These sometimes include changing the current product a bit and customize it to fit the client needs or maybe creating a plug-in that could work with the current product and get the job done.

I love the research, design and planning part of the job, I would be super focused and will find solutions for complex stuff. Plan it all to the smallest things.
I know the solution so I can think of what code would be there what would be needede whats already there etc.

But when it comes to coding the solution my laziness kicks in.
My mind is like you already know the solution why you need to code it to.

Then I start procrastinating and end up putting myself under a pile of stuff when the deadline approaches.

FML

If you could give 16 year old you any advise related to computer science, what would it be and why?

Am I the only one to hate Google drive window's client? It Is far slower than OneDrive/Dropbox. If you work inside the drive you could lose shit, If you remove a file window says it can't be removed but after the error message he does it and If you log out the client..It removes the virtual drive with your files on😑😑 what the fuck Google, what the fuck

if you could change one thing about linux what would it be and why?

I want to switch over to Linux again, Windows just annoys me a lot lately. Thing is, I don't know what distro I wanna use yet.
I want one that is:
0. Security focused, so encryption, VPN and so on. (I know software could do the job, but would be nice if it comes with the OS)
1. Not hard to configure, but I should be able to configure it more when I want to.
2. Not too ulgy looking.

I have a little bit of experience with Linux, but I'm not even close a professional.
Looking forward to your suggestions!

So I'm gonna be honest. I dont know git. I do plan on learning it but I'm waiting to learn how to use it. But I'm seeing all this stuff about it on here could someone explain what it is and its function?

So I ended up going with antergos and xfce DE on a cheapo 4gb ram i5 laptop.

It works, sometimes it hangs because of ram, but the thing that is infurating me the most is javaFX with animation loop (school course) whenever I run it, it works for a minute then oh good fucking Lord what happened to you!!!

It hangs, mouse doesn't work, and it takes like 10 minutes for it to respond back and somehow forcefully close the application, running that with task manager asude, I don't see anything critical, unless I'm reading this wrong

CPU averages around 10% and sometimes spikes to 70% few times
Ram is around 50%, swap is 50% too

What could the issue be in this case? I'm sure running the whole thing on windows this wouldn't have happened, what am I missing here?

mov al, [var]

var db 07h

Error on line 1: undefined operation size.

Silly me defining a byte, using mov on a byte-wide register with said byte-wide variable. What size it could be, the byte-wide variable is soo fucken unknown i'm so sorry.

Ok so I have never really used motors before so I have no idea what I am doing, but I was wondering how to calculate how much weight a motor could move.

Say I have a trolley that weights ~300kg, and I attached a motor to each of its 4 wheels how would I calculate if it would move/what would be needed to move it, and how would I know the RPM of the motors. (Friction can be ignored and it would be on a flat surface)

Also, if I added 4 more motors to turn the wheels, since its just moving a small wheel and it wont be supporting the weight, could it be weaker than the other motors, or would the force that the wheel is experiencing from the trolleys weight effect the turning of the motor.

So had a plan to do a gamejam this week seeing I had nothing planned after work but nooooooooooooooo of course everything I could ever need to do decides it needs to be done this week -.-

It's what I get for being excited I guess :-(

got a new laptop today. corporate, so hey, there's your Win11.
i still recall how i could not believe what crap they released when i saw Vista for the first time. the tranisiton from 7 to 10 wasn't pleasant but ok.
but the switch from 10 to 11? WTF. half a setting is gone and i can only be lucky it's 2 years past release so some stuff that was missing is re-implemented back. some stuff can be fixed with 3rd party tools but hey - it can also be loaded with malware so no-go in work environment.

can't wait for what pile of horseshit is the 12 going to be with their "Ai bUilT iNTo OpERaTIng sYSem"

Can anyone suggest a good keyboard for coding? I would love something like the latest MacBook keyboard, I'm too addicted to that feel.
So I'd love short key run and a clicky feel.
I don't even know what to search (apart for the magic keyboard, which could be a waste since I'm gonna use it on windows, don't you think?)

Question to all linux users:
tl;dr MS office alternate for linux?

I am planning on switching from Win to some linux distro. But I hesitate bc I don't know what I should use instead of MS office or how I could still use it. I am searching an office suite that has a rather comprehensive UI, is stable, can be used offline and is compatible with MS Office since I still have to use it in school.
What do you use or would recommend?

The recent USB C/ no headphone-jack rant inspired me a bit and I noticed that two USB C ports might be a solution for me in regards to the headphone debate.
I'd still need a dongle for my headphones, but I can still charge.
Maybe I could get a audiophile grade dongle make myself def, that be great.

It would also be kind of useful for other stuff, you can't have enough usb ports on any device.

And then I started looking into that topic.

WTF one plus! Why did you make my op 3T USB 2.0 in type C !!!????

I'm not that stupid though. I know there are reasons, but this just upsets me, 3.0 at least please!

What is missing for you that you could use your phone instead of a PC for the most workloads of use-cases?

For me it's two high speed usb C ports with display connect capabilities + periferals.

I currently think that it would be a great thing to move most Noob users off their pcs onto their smartphones for that purpose.

If you could have devRant for one platform, or a tool for devRant. What would it be?

I'll work to get it done.

Follow up on yesterday's rant: by the end of today I had version "stupid" running. Now off to making it smart.

... and I'm really feeling burnt out. Smoked a crapton to get my brain working. Now wishing there was someone I could call or talk to, just so I could feel normalcy. Just so I could feel like I'm not spending my days fighting a battle. Cuddles would be nice too. (it's not that there's no one, there's just no one without a baggage or string or expectations or limits or idk)

Also, part of the robot arm is breaking apart and I have to make sure shit doesn't go haywire when we repair it tomorrow. 😑

I love what I do but damn it burns my brain to crisps.

//poll = !rant;
If you could deliver one technology to the year 1950, what would it be?

min-height: calc(100% - 1rem)

AAAAA REEEEEEEEE WHAT ARE YOU DOINGGGGGGGGGGG IF YOU DONT UNDERSTAND CSS DONT USE ITTTTTTTTTTT

so much pain / time could be saved if devs just used a damn framework (i don't care, bootstrap or tailwind, have at it which is better, i could care less). stop trying to be fancy, like this above, because its ultimately wrong. sorry i'm not sorry

If you could offer one piece of advice to an aspiring dev what would it be?

Do you know what is both a good and a bad thing about old tech like IRC ? vs Slack, Twitter, Facebook, Email, etc for socializing ?

excepting that they were recording most channels traffic with bots, you could miss things.

things changed.
it was more living you expected people to be there to have real conversations. and then the conversations unless fragments were saved, disappeared on there own.

it made you have to remember things.

@dfox would be a huge process to add polls/surveys as a feature? I see a lot of "what do you use?" posts, I think it would be awesome if they could be facilitated and possibly measured.

CNC software
Hey guys
what do you guys use to control your DIY CNCs?
I'm using UGS, Universal Gcode Platform, but it has a slight problem... doesn't work with functions.
Meaning, I just had to write a 75 lines program that could be an 8 line program If I could use loops and GOTO...
Also, what CAM software do you use?

Some one just asked me to build his site. I don't enjoy building sites. Especialy wordpress... I have never used it but i don't like it. But It could be a fast cash. What do you guys think?

My friend wants to sell her old laptop saying it's old. I'm guessing the spec to be 2GB RAM. I thought I could keep it and install Linux on it and make it a small server. What are other ideas?

If you could build anything you want, what would it be and why?

(If this was a weekly question and you know the week number off the top of your head, let me know and I just go look there lol.)

I'm just interested to see what people here would build.