I overheard this on my way back to home.

Girl 1: I bought a new phone yesterday.
Girl 2: Let me see it.
*hands over the phone*
Girl 2: There is no Instagram?
Girl 1: No, Instagram wasn't installed when I bought the phone.
Girl 2: That's weird.

*me almost dead*

Yesterday. It took me way to long to figure out why my mouse wasn't working....
Thanks, dear colleagues!

😐

My friend called me up once saying the new mouse he bought to use with his laptop wasn't working.
I told him to just plug it into the usb port and it should just work immediately.
After an hour of trying shitload of things I finally gave up and said I'll come over and have a look.

And there was his mouse.

Connected to a phone charger.

To a wall outlet.

FUCK YOU, STOP FUCKING WITH ME! my stupid fucking colleague has just replaced all the semi colons in my repo with Greek question marks for the 5TH FUCKING TIME THIS MONTH. it wasn't funny to start, it isn't funny now, so take your fucking rat-like grin and hyena laugh and FUCK OFF AND WORK! fuck me

Got caught using linux terminal by school security. They took my laptop away and drove me across campus in their security carts to take me to the office.

It took a long time to explain that I wasn't maliciously hacking the school.

This is the third time I've been in trouble for tech-related activity.

On the bright side, one of the security guards said, "I'm done dealing with teenagers. Next time I won't work for a high school."

I think he's going to quit. :)

My dad called me up at 11:30 PM telling me that his computer wasn't booting. I drive over to see what was going on. I notice immediately that the motherboard light is a solid amber light.

Me: "The motherboard is amber, that means it's failing to POST".

Dad: "How soon can we fix it? I need to run my Ebay business."

Me: "A week probably. You have a laptop that works can you use that?"

Dad: "It doesn't work great with Windows, it's not a very powerful compu"

Me: "You're going to use Linux dad. Welcome to Linux."

I made a web app and a mobile app for a client two months ago. Yesterday I shut down the server because I wasn't paid yet despite my multiple warnings and reminders.

Under thirty minutes the money was in my bank account.

Sad thing is they weren't responding to me, ignoring or lullabying me with good cop bad cop acts, acting like friends etc...

Lowering my bar to people / agencies like this depresses me.

Btw they are my former agency, they have all the money in the world but turns out they are all jackasses after all...

Wasn't there myself. Came back after weekend or being sick or something and after the daily stand-up one of the guys came to me:
"hey man not to be rude or anything but we're not going to use your code for the project. You're programming in a wrong way."

They explained me where I was going wrong and then it appeared that my study taught me some principles of PHP programming wrong.

I felt like shit, downish and had to fight the tears because I felt quite humiliated.

Looking back at it, they were completely right.

Just had a recruiter turn me down because my GitHub commit frequency wasn't high enough, I asked for a link to the employers GitHub account, "sorry, they don't contribute to open source projects".

It took me a good 20 minutes to realize why my Python code wasn't working. Then it hit me.

Friend(non dev): Hey. Do you know how much it costs to maintain an app?

Me : Well that depends. What are you planning to do?

Friend: Something like Trivago. But small.

Me: That still doesn't tell me anything

Friend: Come on. Just give a number. How hard can it be?

Me: 42. *facepalm*

Friend: See wasn't that hard. Was it?

Me: *thinking* Don't correct him. Just let him be.

Marketing: it's not working...

Me: *fixes bug and pushes changes in less than 5 mins*

Me: Well it's working for me

Marketing: strange... it wasn't working 5 minutes ago...

I love their faces of confusion haha

!rant
Me and friend1: talking about Linux friend2: "what is this Linux"
Me:"it's an OS"
Friend2:"so it's something like excel and powerpoint."

Unfortunately there wasn't a cliff to jump off in that moment.

Colleague was doing something with a switch, wasn't working, he went to get another one:

C: hmm, this one isn't working, I'm gonna get another one.
Me: so you're gonna SWITCH them?
C: 😑😬

😅

Read a lot. Like this standard work

*goes on site looking for free anime to stream*

Site: *popup* we noticed you're using an ad blocker! Please turn it off to continue using our site!

Me, an intellectual: *opens chrome developer tools, finds the HTML for the popup, opens its corresponding CSS and adds display: none; continues watching anime blissfully, without popups and ads*

Who said being a developer wasn't a super power?

!rant

Boss: Something urgent has come up, can you take care of this.

Me: Okay.... But I am already working on X and it's a critical thing.

Boss: No, X is no longer of priority. You need to now pick up Y.

Me: But I was already........ Never mind. Yeah sure I will start working on Y.

Next day

Boss : What is the update on X?

Me: I was working on Y, also wasn't it de prioritized.

Boss : I think I was very clear when I communicated to you that X is very critical. Also you need to learn to manage your time.

Me: FUCK MY LIFE

Boss: "I know we just finished the first part of Client A's project but they also want this extra work done that wasn't in the contract."
Me: "Can't do it without pushing back Client B's work"
Boss: "Well we don't want that. We need to hit that deadline."
Me: "Cool"
Boss: "But Client A was really hoping this new feature which wasn't in the scope would be in."
Me: "Then we're pushing back Client B's work"
<<loop continues >>

That's an interesting name for a company..

Morning Deployment.

Me: Let's add this application to this server.

Deployer: Alright.

...

D: Done. Please verify.

Me: I'm seeing errors. Send me the logs.

D: Sure. I also updated the framework to a version that wasn't tested.

M: Yeah, that won't work. Roll it back.

D: Fine.

...

D: Done. Please verify.

M: All the applications on the box are broken. Please revert to the snapshot before the Deployment.

D: Oops, I didn't make one.

🙁😟😢😭😤

My dad finally lost all hope on me when I took my PC to the repair shop.

"Son, you're studying computer engineering"

"My apologies, papa"

What can I do ☹️ It wasn't booting at all.

Client: Why doesn't this process work?

Me: For the exact fucking reasons I said it wasn't fucking possible like three fucking times in two separate fucking meetings you fucking retard.

Had a week off, when I came back, an email :
"Dodger, can you explain me why did you change this ? I asked X and he wasn't aware you changed it"

Me : *browse through mail and find a mail from late December from X asking me to do that exact change*

Also me :

I've resigned 3 weeks ago. I have also completed my handover process.

Yesterday I was told that I have to work in the weekend and at night because project delivery date is the following week.

Kindly I responded that I have resigned and working on weekends and late nights won't benefit me in anyway now actually I wasn't benefiting from working on weekends and late nights even before my resignation.

Project manager is pissed off at me.

Oh well, it is what it is 🤷

Fell like I can finally vent this now I've calmed down.

Me: You've fucked the tree again
Junior: No I haven't
Me: It says there "Fixing merge conflicts"
Junior: Well it wasn't me I wouldn't have done a merge
Me: It has your name next to it...
Junior: Well that commit wasn't there a second ago
Me: it's dated for Friday...
Junior: Well if you hadn't committed to master and blah blah blah
Me: We'll if you knew know to use git we wouldn't have this problem.

Friend gave me an ancient macBook who was stuck on upgrade as RAM it needed wasn't available.

He: "Do something that I can at least browse"

Me :

Customer: "Why doesn't the user interface have a night mode?"
Me: It wasn't in the requirements, it also doesn't have bouncing pink elephants, do you want me to add those in as well?

(The PM is pretty technical)
One day:
Me: Could you create this subdomain?
PM: Sure, just a sec.
Me: Ohh and could you add a letsencrypt cert? (one click thingy)
PM: Why would you need that on this kinda site...
Me: Well in general for security...
PM: Nahh.
*walks away*

Next day:
(referring to my internship manager/guider as Bob)
Bob: Hey... we have a new subdomain!
Me: Yup!
Bob: Wait why is there no letsencrypt certificate installed...?!?
Me: Well, the PM didn't find that neccesary...
Bob: (Oo) of course it is... are we going for security by default or what?
Me: Yup agreed.
Bob: *creates cert and sets everything up in under a minute*

It wasn't a high profile site (tiny side project) but why not add SSL when you can for free?

Took me 2 fucking days to figure out why the loop wasn't working, biggest facepalm ever.

if(iterator.hasNext()){

// some awesome code

}

Few months ago I stopped making anything on WordPress (code style wasn't for me, less reinventing the wheel), yet got offered well paid job with mostly WP responsibilities.
People ask me - why I stopped making stuff on WordPress? Welp...

I'M AN IDIOT.

I accidentally typed the wrong command when I was compiling my C++ code with GCC, and guess what?

My .cpp file is gone. The .exe is still there, but that's useless to me right now.

It wasn't an important code, just something I recently started on, but I can't believe I did something so ignorant.

I had a dream that I was working in an office, writing Python scripts.

Then they changed my role as a frontend web developer. I wasn't happy, but I dealt with it. My coworkers were playing games instead of working and the boss yelled at me for slacking off even though wasn't.

I had enough so I told my coworkers to stop slacking off, but they were about to beat me up and the boss held a gun and that's when I woke up.

Thank goodness I'm too young for a job like that.

Fucking co-worker!!
This asshole blamed the delay in delivery of the project on me.
I mean what the fuck dude, I was just helping you out. That wasn't even my job.
Pathetic people!

WTF? I've been laid off more than a month ago, AND THIS EXTRA-STUPID ACCOUNTING BRAT TEXTS MY PERSONAL PHONE TO COMPLAIN THAT SOME REPORT IS BROKEN.
(she still works for my former company, if that wasn't clear)
Bitch, you fucks literally told me this shit wasn't my problem anymore. Seriously, where do they find those complete morons? Don't they know how "being sacked" works? Or how you cannot expect any work from someone who was sacked?!?
Especially some sheila that only has a job because it is literally illegal to use a pocket calculator instead of an "human" accountant.
Fuck, now I'm kinda happy I'm out of that nuthouse.

I spent yesterday refactoring a JavaScript file and it was so fucking bad that I wasn't containing my frustration to the point it git blamed it to make sure I wasn't "wtfing" my boss's code, I wasn't so I went on a rampage.

Anyone who looked at me yesterday would see a pissed off dev with the highest rate of wtf/minute to the screen gesturing and force palming constantly.

I'm a back end dev.
I made a front end code have 90% (?!?!?!) less code, more readable and I can say for sure 10x faster.

There was a fucking setTimeout() with 5 seconds delay to do something that doesn't even need to wait...

Fuck this shit lol.

So some guy decided to steal my laptop. I don't know if they thought my machine wasn't happy with me or what but whoever did that, all I can say is your time is coming motherfucker.

I will always miss you 😭😭

!rant
So I just lost my girlfriend she tought she wasn't worth it to me. On the bright side, more time for coding!

All these people talking about learning to code at school makes me feel old. There wasn't even an option to learn programming when I was at school. Had to teach myself!

Coworker: According to science, people who work with math or computers are least likely to get divorced.

Me: Well that's because they're least likely to get married.

Coworker: ...In order to participate in the study you had to be married at least once

Me: It was a joke, man!

Coworker: Well it wasn't a funny one!

Me: ...it was to me...

My first IT interview, for a 1st Line Support job. I took 2 trains there and fully intended to make that journey every day until I could afford a car.
First interview question: "I've checked the train times from where you live, we have shift patterns which start at 7:30 but the earliest you can get here is 7:50, how would you get here on those early shifts?"
You bitch, you knew I wasn't going to get the fucking job and you still made me travel all the fucking way here.
I answered everything else fine but of course wasn't successful. They didn't even have the decency to let me know afterwards.

My parents didn't really care what I was doing, they were just happy I wasn't hanging around street corners.

They were also kind enough to buy me a computer or peripherals at Christmas. My sisters were not impressed with their Barbie houses and Sylvanian Families! 😂

Sisters: "Why does he get a computer?"

Mum: "Cos he doesn't ask for new clothes all year!"

Someone wrote a piece of code half a year ago. It's fuckin complex and recursive. And uncommented. Today it's my job to figure out WHY and HOW it works.
If it wasn't clear before, that someone who wrote it was me. I'm not sure if I was on some substances back then, but that shit is fast and I have no clue how I was able to create it. Perhaps it was the coffee overdose...

However, wish me luck figuring this thing out.

I was working for a company as a Mobile Developer and I had a recruiter calling me up, asking me if I'd be interested in working for the company I was already as a "UX Designer". I thought it'd be funny to say yes. It wasn't - I was let go because my company thought I was looking elsewhere.

You dumb, stupid fucking idiot.

Yes, that's me. Spent an hour debugging something, only to find out I wasn't paying attention when going through the API ref. Fucking fuck. Such a waste of time.

My most f*cked up client process I ever had to deal with:

Digitalizing E-Mails.

I seriously asked if they were joking on me… Wasn't the case.

The process was: Get E-Mail, print out, scan, archive (digitally).

Nobody could explain to me the necessity for this bullsh*t.
"Hmm... Kinda always worked this way, I guess"
The client was a big company. My coworker aged 5x faster during that project. I swear to god, I'm not joking.

So today I basically "lost" the chance to enter this remarkable security StartUp. The dream made true... a couple of Python nice scripts, the logic test that wasn't that big, everything was going well.

I met the CEO, damn! He seems to be a great dude. But suddenly, a wild co-founder appeared.

The dude started to talk about money and how he didn't perceive me as a Senior developer (not even if my results were telling him the oppositive); he ended up with: you seemed to be Mid-advance.
I was like: Ok, I understand. Wasn't that big because I knew that I could have demonstrated my skills.

Then he asked about my salary expectations, I answered to him my realistic expectations, that to be honest, it wasn't a lot of damn money! Because, I really was expecting a chance to learn more, have bigger challenges, bring value, etc.

He said: Okay let me check this with my partner. But, that was a week ago.
Anyway, today I received an email from the CEO, with the typical apologize telling me that the vacancy will be paused by the moment.

Oh, I didn't mention that one friend of mine is working there and he told me a couple of hours ago that they have hired a Junior developer because he was willing to accept what they wanted to pay him. Puff it broke my heart, but I wish him luck because even though I was dying to be on that security StartUp, I’m not at the point to accept a misery of money to work harder, I just felt frustrated with that stingy guy.

People: "N00bPancakes! Your code broke something!"

Me: "Holy leaky diaper, I had a weird feeling about that code!!!! Stupid me!!! I'll get on that!!!"

-furious clicking-

Me: "How could this even .. .wait a second..."

- reverts last merge -

- still broken -

Me: "See I knew it wasn't my code...."

(´◔౪◔)

Senior Engineer -
Hey. I have a code that hits API to get details and multithreading is implemented. Can you just change the URL formed to hit Api?

Me
Yeah sure why not.

Me
After some time I discover that the initial code itself wasn't working 😐
I realise i need to fix code, fix multithreading and then make the URL changes.

Just finished......Realised had to rant....

Nature gave me a real life 🦆 debugging friend. He wasn't really helpful though. He flew away shortly after. Probably got a call from a more desperate dev.

Apparently `= NULL` is not a thing in mysql, instead you have to use `IS NULL`... Took me a while to figure out why the fuck my query wasn't returning any results.

I took a civil service exam October last year, the list of passers where posted in the government website last December. My name wasn't on the list. I was heart broken. :'(
I wasn't able to apply for the job I wanted. I thought that I'm so stupid I can't even pass an exam.
I was depressed for almost a month.
Then yesterday, a friend of mine was searching google since I refuse to tell her my middle name.
Suddenly she exclaimed, wow! you're a civil service exam passer!
I was shocked beyond belief!
I checked the website, my name is still not there. HAHA. (deep inside it hurts)
I cursed my friend for trolling me but she swear that it's true. She sent me the link and BOOM! my name is on the list of APRIL passers!
WHAT THE HECK???
i just verified through phone that I actually passed and that it was an error on their website that included me on the wrong list. I don't know whether to be angry or pleased. lol XD

My bf learning a programming language I already know. Him frustrated with it not working. Me in the same room watching anime. His mom calls. I go over and see if I can figure out what's not working while he's in the phone. He was trying to run from command line and wasn't in the right folder 😆

on my first job interview(7 years ago when Android wasn't populer yet) the recruiter was like "so, you know Android?" and I was like "yeah I got 3 months of experience" so he just told me immediately "great, when can you start"
that was the shortest interview in my life so far.

Deepin is sexy. Made me horney
Who want a Mac now

Though I did had trouble with my PppoE internet connection,which wasn't working in ubuntu and in Deepin majority of sites were not loading, but I had fixed it (MTU )

I hate when a retard fuckstick user on FuckOverflow gives answer like this:
"I suggest a read of the documentation instead of only hacking around"

IF I'M ASKING A QUESTION IT'S BECAUSE THE fucking doc wasn't clear to me, it was longer than the dick of the horse that fucked your mother, or simply I didn't have the fucking time and I hoped somebody would help me out, you dumb fatherfucker

Customer: The pages x and y are not displayed in the menu of my website.

Me: I've added another menu level. This level wasn't planned. Your pages will now be displayed.

Customer: Do you think I have too much menu levels?

Me (what I want to say): YES. You have too much of EVERYTHING! Too much menu levels, too much useless pages, too much bad formatting, too much different font colors in one fucking sentence! Your website is crap at all.

Me (what I said): No, it's okay.

I hate customers.

me: "Why not just use AJAX?"

guy who wasn't kidding: "Uh... oh is that a SOAP joke? Haha.."

:/ :/ :/ :/ :/ :/ :/

*The interview wasn't off to a good start, as the recruiter forgot he invited me for an interview, so he just led me to some empty office after letting me wait for good 15 minutes. *

Them: Here, write some pseudocode to find a value in a tree.

Me (thinking): Interesting question; DFS / BFS would be really simple here, but nobody uses trees for that - perhaps I should ask about characteristics of the tree in question?

But before I realised, the interviewer already rushed out the office, so I just picked up my jacket and left...

fuck me X'D Complained to nowtv that their player wasn't working because apparently it finds 'screen sharing' software running on my mac. This was their response

Finally finished my Pacman clone (atleast all main things I wanted to complete)
Took me 1.5 years :/
Score wasn't on attempt :D

HOW FUCKING HARD CAN IT BE TO NOT STORE PASSWORDS IN CLEARTEXT AND THEN PROCEED TO SEND ME AN UNENCRYPTED EMAIL WITH THE PASSWORD IN IT??? THE SITE HAS A PREMIUM FUCKING SSL AND SAFETY CERTIFICATES YET THEY STILL DON'T COMPLY TO THIS? FUCK YOU! IF IT WASN'T FOR THAT I HAD TO ORDER A NEW SCREEN FOR MY BROKEN PHONE, YOU COULD'VE SUCKED BETTER THAN ME + VACUUM CLEANER.

Sorry abt that. But for real, mytrendphone stores passwords in plain texts and waves a fucking safety certificate in your face...

Just had le first sollicitation/interview.

Went pretty good! Nice guy, very relaxed talking/environment aaand they use Linux internally so no windows for me (if I get the job)!

Although the fact that I don't plan on staying longer than a year (maybe I was too honest) wasn't a good thing to say, it was a good interview :)

I'm interrupted frequently during team meetings, usually by junior team members. I brought it up to my boss at a 1:1 and now he interrupts me more often than they do.

I wasn't giving you permission. 😒

Him: "No developer worth his salt puts each of his brackets on a new line."

Me: "I mean... I agree it's uglier but your whitespace commit means we git blame you for everything."

Him (upset): "You BLAME me? I'm sorry I have standards."

Me: "Not blame blame, git blame like the history view of the-"

....too late he reverts his commit and hates me for life.

I wasn't even disagreeing, I was trying to explain git blame. :(

Today I left my job in which I spent these last 5 years.

My boss wasn't very pleased with me leaving the company today. But well, it had to be done

Now it's time to focus in freelancing and my own startup. Surely my work will be paid more accurately than these 5 years, one of the reasons I left.

Wrote angular service, named it "MongoService", handles calls/requests to mongodb. Spent an hour wondering why it wasn't running one of my functions from controller. Just realized I am calling MangoService instead of Mongo. Lord help me.

Remote IT work. I had a caller immediately berate and try to insult me because she recognized my very Southern accent wasn't local and I wasn't onsite. They tried to insinuate I wouldn't know what they were talking about with "do you even know what [x] is?" Calmly, I said yes ma'am. This is before she ever got to what her issue was. It was command line things I needed to run to fix it, but she wouldn't stop talking. "Are you even trying to help me or do anything? You must not know what you're doing." I'm a terrible multitasker so I end up sometimes typing what I hear, saying what I read, or zoning out of everything to accomplish a particular thing. So it took me a minute or two longer than normal. But that call wasn't what pissed me off. It was the complete 180 she turned when she emailed in when I resolved the ticket, praising me for how knowledgeable and professional I was, that I almost considered it all a troll.

I don't have very many high emotion stories and neither is this one. I'm pretty laid back, go with it, person.

>X gets corrupted somehow
>"sudo apt-get remove xorg"
>begins uninstalling millions of packages
>a fullscreen warning flashes by: "Are you SUUUUUURE you wanna remove the kernel?"
>wasn't prompted to deny
>After process, get kernel panic
>reboot
>kernel panic within 10 seconds

Why must you do this to me, Debian?

PM: Can you fix this issue with the file upload?
me: Sure, give me the file that's having the issue so I can figure out why that specific one isn't working.
PM: Oh... it wasn't working so I deleted it.
Me: OK, are there any other files that cause this error.
PM: No... it was a single case. You can fix it anyway, right?

1. Still dying.

2. Withdrew my application for some job saying "the environment seems unproductive". I'm proud of me. I've never withdrew an application whenever I was unemployed so this is a first. This time it wasn't them telling me I'm not "the right fit" and I kinda feel like I should do this more often but like what if I could survive the hostile environment and earn something instead of literally continuing looking for jobs and this is giving me anxiety and I'm rambling but I can't stop oh my god what have I done... 🤧

I saw a post about headphones that reminded me.

Last week I was trying to find out why my code wasn't working. At about an hr in my wife asks me "honey, why do you have headphones on but they aren't plugged into anything?"

I looked at her partially spaced and thought to myself "I have headphones on?!?!"

Lol I tend to do this a lot.

Today I had my first decent pull request accepted.

It wasn't the biggest problem, but it made a chrome extension not work, and the author and other users couldn't figure it out.

The author seems very chill and called me 'the man' and offered me a drink.
It felt nice.

!rant

Boss set me up for a last minute certification to prepare for next years new projects. Went through a lot of material in just two days, then had to take the exam immediately after the last class ahead of everyone else. Aced it!^^

What surprised me the most though is how much I still enjoy learning new stuff (wasn't even tech), even after 8 yrs on the job..

Tomorrow is my 19th birthday and I'm very excited about it. 😀🎂
Wanted to do something special as a computer geek but wasn't sure.
Hope you can help me !

Thanks 👍

Go home Google you are drunk!

Was converting a currency to USD and that error came up, what is funny is their system produced that result and it wasn't me who entered it .-.

I run kubuntu on my work laptop with various security settings in place. All of my other colleagues run Windows 10.

My manager recently noticed I wasn't running Windows and told me I was a threat to the security of the companies network...

Congrats dude

Love my android. But oh my fucking stars in a pickle jar... I just did a damn software update. The fuck you mean I have one??? Wasn't even 5 minutes ago. Why are you making me do this???

Let's see...
It made me anti social. It got me thinking in a very logical way, I can't connect with people.
I'd spend a lot of time (and still do) coding that I didn't make many friends and made me have social anxiety.

Nobody respects what I do or even understand it.

The one girl I would've happily fucking died in the most brutal way for with a smile on my face, wasn't interested at all... I was a geek to her and my lifestyle wasn't compatible with hers.... I wasn't good enough...

I am very self aware of my shortcomings and working towards that... But generally, I'm too fucking late to dating and all that.

Programming put me in a disadvantage in dating and social life.

Look at the image first, please.

Me: "What's that?"
Closed devRantron.
"Hmm, still there."
Closed browser.
"Nope, that wasn't it neither."
Closed everything that is somehow connected to the internet: FTP client, SSH connections, even the VM.
"There's still something! What is it?!"
Bashed my head against the wall.
"I am listening to music right now... music from the NAS..."

Thanks everyone for giving me enough ++ to get my very own stress ball, also a special thanks zuckABird. If it wasn't for your data collecting madness i would of missed out. Ha

MySQL fell down the stairs again and dropped tables all over the datacenter

the affected servers tried to notify me in advance but spamd wasn't able to scan their messages so IT JUST DIDN'T SEND THEM

EVEN IF IT COULD, NAMED COULDN'T RESOLVE ANY MX RECORDS

BECAUSE BEFORE MYSQL CRASHED IT CONVERTED /ETC/RESOLV.CONF INTO AN INNODB TABLE

(AND THEN DROPPED IT)

(ON PURPOSE)

Week till deadline

PO: are we going to have feature xyz ?
Me: it wasn't in the original spec, we'll put it in the next spec.
PO: but we made a new spec for this fase yesterday and it is in that one.
Me: you can't do that you signed off the original spec before development started
Po: but we've signed this one off too
Me: ...

If the live server crashed, it wasn't me. I did the changes locally first. I swear.

I found out last week that I was passed up for a promotion not because I didn't deserve it but because I got one last year.

My manager asked to have me promoted. People on other teams wanted me promoted. HR did not.

I wasn't mad about it at the time but the more that I think about it the more it's getting me down. I've been pushing myself trying to prove that I would be good for the position and now I have lost all motivation and I hate it. I like where I am at and I like what I do but this has really killed it for me. I'm struggling to get anything done now.

Clients don't know what they want!

Was handed a detailed report and asked if I could create a webpage to dynamically generate the same thing from our database. Sure its ez ps lemon squeezy.

Simple page and database query. Boom, done. Exactly matched what they gave me.

They ask why some of the data isn't there. Uh well you cunts it wasn't on the original report...so it's not there obviously.

So I take leave for a day right.

I come back to the office and my teamlead asks me to start running tests and in the same breath he adds, "so I added SOME code so that it would cater for the annoying popup".
I said cool and made nothing of it.

A few minuts later he stands behind me asking me why its so slow and my reply was.....

"Well I wasn't in yesterday and you added code and it wasn't this slo... "

Words arnt even out of my mouth and he starts shouting at me

"DON'T SHIFT BLAME!!! Don't Shift Blame."

Well okay then sorry...... I guess.

One of my friends wanted me to take a look at his laptop, it wasn't working properly.

Guess what, this guy somehow managed to open .exe files with editor as default application. I know he isn't really involved in all that techy stuff, but damn that was annoying to fix.

We had robotics, or rather an electronics workshop today. Just imagine throwing a bunch of nerds into a room with 3d printers, lots of electronic parts and other tools.

Anyway one of my friends said that his computer wasn't working.

Me: It's running windows so it's broken by default.

Him: common, windows isn't that bad

Me: it is

Our teacher walking by: I'd never want to use windows, it's basically malware

I just sat there smiling 😊

Opened devRant while sitting in public transport.
Suddenly, the dude sitting next to me starts talking to me.
Nearly got a heart-attack because I thought he was going to say something about the devRant feed I was scrolling through or even reveal he was also on devRant. (Dude reminded me of some of the guys on the face reveal. Also, wild beard. XD)

Now somewhat disappointed but also relieved he wasn't a fellow devRanter. (I probably am a social being but when someone catches me off-guard I may react awkward.)

So today a client requested that the domain name in the address bar should be all capital letters because of corporate design. Don't get me wrong, this is a valid request for someone who has no experience in the IT world. But he refused to believe me that it wasn't possible. He even claimed that he has seen it at least hundred times and called me incapable. I don't get clients.

me@termux $ su -c pm list packages
android.os.DeadObjectException: Transaction failed on small parcel; remote process probably died at [...]

Hmm, strange.. wasn't that the proper command? 🤔
Maybe it's SELinux that's at it again? It's giving permission errors with /sys/class/power_supply/battery/capacity as well, which can only be solved by disabling SELinux it seems.

me@termux $ su -c setenforce 0
me@termux $ su -c pm list packages
(Gives list)

So it was SELinux after all.. FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT!!!

I had a teacher that was going to teach us git and scrum. I was exited and started reading about it in my free time. The next lesson I needed to help him setup the git repo's because he doesn't understand how git works. And everytime we asked something about scrum, he said we should google it. But in the end he barely gave me enough point to pass because he said I wasn't motivated enough and was doing my own projects. But the reason I was doing my own projects (code school) was because I finished all of the assigments within a week. And I knew I wasn't going to learn anything from him.

Got some requests about changes in design some weeks ago. Did the most of what I can do, but something wasn't possible, so I told them that I cannot do what was requested.

They still ask me to do it.

So I just got my first compliment on my first ever tutorial that I wasn't even happy hoenit turned out...

I've had dfox++ me and now this, guys I can't even deal with so much fame in such a small amount of time!

So I was told why a bash with Git isn't allowed in my company.

The people that built the development kit (IDEs, tools, etc) estimated that Git wasn't necessary since integrated in Visual Studio.

They clearly never tried to do a pull request or a rebase then. Good to know.

(a coworker gave me a way to have a bash anyway, so that made my day \o/ but rant needed anyway)

Just spent 2 fucking hours debugging one of my websites scripts because apparently appendChild wasn't a function... Here I was thinking there was a function called getElementByClassName... Dick head me didn't realise I'm missing a single 's'... 2 hours over a single fucking s!

Fuck javascript man...

Dialogue when I entered the room of a co-worker, and it wasn't an individual office.

Me: YO MAMA her son bitching 'bout compiler licence?
Him: Kiss my ass!
Me: Could cram a wet roll of toilet paper down your pants.
Him: Yeah that'd come pretty close.

Other co-workers: WTF?

I suggested the other day that devs should not go to every meeting, actually I suggested they should be "sitting with headphones undisturbed" , everyone looked at me like this was absurd.

I wasn't running away from meetings because I suggested I should go to meetings to get requirements and such, instead of the whole team...

Am I missing something?

A few days ago, I went to a job interview where the recruiter (boss) expected me to fill a position that normally pays $30 an hour elsewhere for $10 an hour. As if that wasn't enough, he acted like he was being very generous with the $10 an hour because I'm a college kid. Smh.

Warning: I code just for fun.

Today I finished a website and I asked to my friends to tell me what they think about it saying that it wasn't yet properly responsive and that could be some error, so I asked if they could use the computer to view it and all of them sent to me screenshots of the website on mobile.

I hate them.

P.S. Sorry for my english...

> be me
> started using greentext on devrant a while ago
> semi successful rants
> people start using greentext too
> lookMomIDidIt.avi
> be happy
> no one knows I started it
> maybe it wasn't even me
> sit in shower
> try not to cry
> cry a lot

Shit. That's not a rant about coding

> fuck microsoft

Classic support ticket:

Me: "Uh... those numbers in your screenshot look right"

Customer: "Well it wasn't yesterday, looks like it is fixed now"

Me: "...."

-closes ticket-

Yeah I'm an adult. No, it doesn't bother me that 6 years ago on the school trip I wasn't cool enough to be invited to the girls rooms eventhough my stupid friend was. Doesn't bother me one bit

I've got a teacher (math) in the university that let us use our phones as a calculator in the exam but without sim card and of course no wifi. I've spent a few hours programming a very ugly CLI app which let me calc and show me the steps of every type of exercise.
Another probe that programming can save your ass.
The exam wasn't difficult but basically they tell you to solve a few problems applying different methods, that hasn't advantage from others.

Last week I forgot to add the break; clause to a bunch of case statements and literally spent a whole evening busting my head 'cause my code wasn't working.

So this week's answer: ME. I'M THE WORST.

The worst interview . . . .

So I wasn't looking for a job, but I wasn't happy in mine, and I would listen to pitches. Recruiter calls me about a Java job. I tell him I know JS and it's probably not a good fit. He insists my resume looks good and that they are happy to train. I know just enough Java to relent. Eventually we set up an phone interview for a day I happen to have off anyway because I'm going out of town. Morning of, I'm waiting around for the call. An hour after the scheduled time, the recruiter calls and tells me they had an "emergency" and wouldn't be able to speak today. One whole hour of my day, making me late to leave town: no one anywhere in the whole company could give me a call, no explanation, no apologies, for a job I had told them I wouldn't be a good fit for anyway.

I left them hanging the rest of the weekend and then take my name out of the running on Monday. Respect people's time and lives!

When I told someone to read the docco+wiki and ask me if there were problems, for them to come back every five mins to tell me "so, how does this all work?"

I wrote the wiki and it was A-Z. There's nothing I knew about the product that wasn't in the wiki.

It took me so much self-control to not bash his head into my monitor.

Last time I was here I was in college. 🤓

Hello world, again 🫂
I graduated and now I have a job as a developer for two years now.

So much ranting has been happening and I'm excited to tell you all about it.

PS: I already had my first canonical event (Prod deployment at 5 pm ... Was not fun ... Wasn't me if you're asking)

Teammember left. I did his three tickets yesterday. Before that I created and applied new rescue procedure for broken deploys on production and deployed the app manually. Took me about 6 hours to do this right, find the cause, and solve it, and document what I did. After that my teamleader bought me a launch :)
It wasn't his, my former teammate responsibility to bring back prd to life, it was me being good and engaged employee. His tickets, on the other hand, were his duties. Took me one hour to code them. He was working on them for two weeks. I can't wait for the performance review, im definitely going to ask for a nice rise :)

My client requested me to release the source code to their development team today. They are going to handle the further development from now. Client has paid for the app in full.

That wasn't a good news to me.

this is what happens when it gets intense
and it wasn't me

a client i was doing a side project for recently hired another dev to finish my project apparently i wasn't fast enough for them; despite their late submition of asserts.now their "dev" fucked up everything i was building and they want me to take the project over the weekend..

For a .net developer is it normal not to know what an abstract class is? I interviewed someone today that didn't know, and a colleague told me it wasn't that unusual.

To me this is the same level as knowing what an interface is

Client writes a bug report: This and that doesn't work.
Me: This functionality never was implemented. Please open a feature request.
Client: But this is a bug. Without this feature, the service won't work as we expect.
Me: But this wasn't in the requirements for release. So you have to contact the PM for a feature request.
Client: THIS IS A BUG! FIX IT!
Me: GO FUCK YOURSELF! THIS IS A NEW FEATURE AND YOU HAVE TO PAY FOR IT!
Unfortunately, I never sent the mail. But I kept it in the drafts. Maybe someday...

I kept telling my boss my salary wasn't good enough for the job I was doing, and for over a year, he kept telling me HR says I need to prove myself. I got admission to school to do a masters and all of a sudden, HR doubled my salary. FML.

i remember how my father was angry at me, that i "only play games" on the computer. Cause what else can you do there? We had multiple wars about how much nobody will i be. Well I wasn't playing I was learning. Now i have my own family, got many life goals done. i dont consider me as nobody but my father still thinks of me as a young boy, at least he's sometimes proud. Sorry guys gad to lay it off. :-)

Have to do a jee project without any knowledge in java, in 2 weeks.

Why ? My classmates put me in a group when i wasn't here, of course they know nothing and are not going to code..
Fuckkkkkk you!

Well, any advice with jee ? Where should i start to get a good grade x)

I was working on my OOD class project (code analyzer) while my gf was trying to watch greys anatomy...for some reason Netflix and watch series wasn't working and she asked me what do I do...
My spontaneous reply: have u tried github...😕
Her reply: what is that is it like a porn site

I worked for a streaming company where I was interviewing a candidate for a device position. I tried digging into his passions and hobbies and he told me he was using rasp pi:s to automatically download torrents and stream to Kodi.

He really wasn't reading up on which company he applied for.

Keras was throwing errors...

Since I thought it was a tensorflow issue, I went up and down and all the way around. Installing all tensorflow shit like a bijillion times.

... But it wasn't. It was the fucking ipykernel...
It took me a good 5-6 hours.

I pulled a 12 hours day today.

... Somebody hug me plz 😢

This was actually written by a Junior of mine (and if it wasn't for me having to review it, it would have made it to production):
- Admi password was just an MD5 in the javascript.
- Javascript would validate the password input.
- Javascript would then send a POST request to a PHP script.
- On display, the HTML of the news article wasn't HTML escaped.

My brain: "Let's just send this XSS vector to this PHP script"

One time I got an offer for a job I had found through a recruiter. When I wasn't sure if I was going to take the job, and it became clear to the recruiter that he wasn't going to be able to convince me, he had his "manager" get on the phone to try to tell me why I needed to take the job. One of the reasons was "because I was a recent college graduate and wasn't a CS major (I was a minor but had a lot of experience), this was the best offer I could get." It thought it was pretty sad that they resorted to insulting me to try to get me to take the job so they could get their commission. Sleeaaazzzyyy.

It took me a while to figure out why my systemd timer wasn't working

Ir was missing a line break at the end of the file :(

Best: 100% of my contracts have resulted in extensions and permanent roles offered, after worrying I wasn't good enough to try contracting.

Worst: Used the wrong set of monitoring when doing my first deployment at a contract and thought what I had deployed was working fine. It wasn't. For 24 hours. Cost the company a lot of money. (why did they offer me an extension again?)

And just when I was having a shut eye, my mom woke me up, because WiFi wasn't working..😒

> Half asleep
> No coffee

Today I woke up and my old Windows 7 desktop welcomed me with a fresh Windows 10 installation. I'm still trying to figure out who did it because it wasn't me or my wife. I only remember saying no multiple times to the upgrade request. At least I don't notice it being any slower.

took me 20min to realize why windows wasn't recognising my flash drive:
it wasn't the usb stick I plugged in but the mouse's dongle... stupid me😜

I just took over a new project from a brand new client today. It's an Android app that he said needed some updates and refactoring, and he said it wasn't well documented but he would add some comments for me before giving me the code. He gave me access to the code today and one class in it is over 1200 lines long with exactly 4 methods in it... the shortest method is still over 200 lines long. There is one comment at the very top:
// Needs refactored.

... gee thanks.

Not 100% of dev nature:

- Got an informal interview a few days ago: Got me super happy.
- Another 2 recruiters on LinkedIn showed interest: Made me happy.
- Psychometric & technical tests popped today: Feel like failed them completely.
- 2 more career days coming up: Not all hope is lost.
- Lack of portofolio and job experience: Brain is stuck and emotionally being meh. Maybe I wasn't meant to be a dev. :-/

I've just wanted to let it out of my system. Thanks for reading it. :-)

2021 was really rough, saw friends going over the deep end with burnout, significant incidents to handle and a shitty manager to deal with.

It wasn't about blood and tears, it was about commuting 4 hours/day mid-pandemic to be present in the office and respond to an incident whilst having to deal with a bunch of heroes thinking they were part of a CSI: Cyber episode.

All of that just to be said that my raise "would be enough to keep me from looking elsewhere" as my manager said they were very happy with my performance.

This week I found out exactly how much this appreciation is worth: 2%. And I should consider myself lucky with this number as my performance wasn't good enough to grant me any raise whatsoever.

feelsreallybad.png

My worst experience with a recruiter has to be when i wasn't interested in a particular position they became hostile with me demanding why and contacting me on a regular basis to see if i had changed my mind.

Truth is you ain't getting shit from me.

Always remember you have the control with recruiters, don't give them the ability to take you for a ride.

Look, I worked in companies that didnt givr a single f about security, and it wasn't right, but others go are just mad.

Me to itsec: can I deploy Django behind the company firewall on a machine physically 2 meters from you, users will still need the VPN to access it... ?

Itsec: no!

Me: flask?

Itsec: no!

Me: shiny?

Itsec: no!

Me: CAN I EVEN HOST ONE HTML FILE WITH INLINE CSS?

itsec: can I see your badge?!

Everything works fine until your manager starts looking at your code and all of a sudden your screen starts interacting with your manager- "Here is a bug there is a bug and you have got a lazy developer who ignores me like a dumb."

And I am here like wtf ... Wasn't it working fine earlier...

Manager in anger... Me in shock and code is totally in revenge mode...

Oh god... turn this Monday back to Sunday!!!

Scary Monday story begins....

Oh. My. God.

Boss JUST NOW after months of development has told me that anything the user sees needs to be i18n wrapped

*Bangs head on desk*

Why wasn't I told this?
Why isn't it this way anywhere else in the code?! Wtf!

Lol at least today will be laid back and easy, albeit tedious

:3 I'm soooo happy right now! My friend asked me to help her get started in designing circuits and making her own PCBs. Great motivation for me to write a few articles on it 😊... Honestly I would have just asked her to marry me right on the spot if she wasn't a lesbian and didn't have a girlfriend already.

...maan, it bugs me a lot: super cute, same interests, really really intelligent and knowledgeable, great character... Why must everyone care about gender? :( (I don't - just for the context...)

Working with a new team and I don't understand how this is normal or ok.

Me: Does anyone need help troubleshooting the broken build or can I revert this change that broke it so I can push my change out?

Dev: Stop build shaming me, I wouldn't leave the build in a failing state.

Me: Well, I wasn't sure how long to wait, before asking.... it's been broken for 4 hours.

Dev: It's the development environment, you should expect development to be going on.

Me: Yes and appears that this project architecture doesn't support any sort of isolation for development. So nobody can deploy anything except through the development branch.

Dev: That's what development is for IMO, so it doesn't bother me.

The most obnoxious company process I've encountered so far is the nonexistent one.

This is what happened at my first professional job. PM and CTO quit after about a year, yet the top honchos were insistent of salvaging what was left of their "enterprise" software suite and putting us through a death march to try and continue development.

No plan, despite having a JIRA board filled with month-old backlog stories. No direction, because the CEO was now head of the project and wasn't in the office about 50% of the time, and our lead dev wasn't willing to take the reigns.

I wouldn't have minded trying a bunch of different things and having them fail. At least then we'd be doing something, you know? But instead we sat around, trying to squeeze any kind of goal from the higher ups, until I finally had enough and found a much better job.

It wasn't enough to convince me to give up software development. But boy, did it sure come close.

As if StackOverflow wasn't full of trolls already, now I get people complaining I didn't make "Stack Snippet" instead of a jsFiddle etc.. AFTER I've already answered the question. Don't even get me started...

FUCK YOU $CLIENT_NAME !

You tell me I've spent the last 6 months molesting and hacking your piece of garbage multistore prestashop?

Just for you to yet again, change the specifications, saying "I don't want a multistore anyway please split them up"

What an imbicile moron, you want me to duplicate the codebase/database 7 times? just to start "downgrading" each one individually? To make a few adjustments to each one.

What the fuck have you been smoking? I wasn't born with enough middle fingers to let you know how I feel about you.

! dev. I had to pick up a parcel at lunchtime. Coming out of the shop, there was a parking enforcement officer (what we used to call traffic wardens) standing in front of the door, fiddling with his ticket machine, blocking my exit.

"Excuse me, you can't park there", I said.

He wasn't very amused, miserable bastard.

Two notable things happened to me today on devRant:
1. I accidentally +1'd a random rant. I feel rude to undo it.
2. I accidentally reported a random comment. I feel stupid for having done such thing.

Now I'm expecting to get a notification saying It wasn't worth reporting :/

Ok I have been incredibly offended. So a classmate asked if I wanted to be a computer repairman when I grew up I yelled hell no and shes like but what will you do then with that useless knowledge? I just looked at her. But wait, there's more. My teacher took me to the principal for having my terminal open in linux. I then got yelled at for "hacking" and it took me forever to try and explain I wasn't but they didnt believe me. So I got yelled at for half an hour before school ended.

Things might be looking up for me.

Saw an opening in a huge company for a dev position. They might consider me, just biding to see what is said.

That being said, today I deal with a user complaining that their app wasn't working. They moaned that exit should rather be close. The text. I raced 60km because you told me it was crucial. Fuck you.

When you just merge master into development branch and whole Jenkins wall turns red. Wtf? Wasn't me bro.. o.O

Ah good ol' refactoring summer.

*Me starts refactoring spaghetti bolognese*

- Hurrah everything can be generic and so much better. I'll just do this and this and this and this, oh and this also needs to be reworked cuz of this.

8 hours later.

- it wasn't that bad!

$ git status

- oh god

$ dotnet test

- welp.... I need something to do tomorrow.

My boss, the IT Director told me someone's Word wasn't saving... Their Track Changes was on. #facepalm

Once again, I have to go with the guy that, after seeing my horrible (I can't highlight this enough) code, decided that even I wasn't hopeless, and went on teaching me the basics of software engineering, top-down design and unit testing. All of this in two days, but it gave me the motivation to work on it, and look at me now: I'm a devRanter :')

No one in my family has ever been a developer. No one understood what a developer does so I just was labeled the one who knows about computers. Thankfully my immediate family was ok with me studying computers and I wasn't pushed to be a doctor or lawyer like most stereotypical ones do.

*sometime during my sophomore year in university. I was a Biology major and just switched to Computer Science. I'm currently a senior graduating in the Spring.*

Me: "Mom and Dad I changed my major to Computer Science!"

Parents: "How will you be able to make a living playing games?"

Me: "I won't be playing games, I'll be coding/programming things and building software."

Parents: "I thought you wanted to become a doctor?"

Me: "Well I decided I wanted to choose a career that I like and I also didn't want to stay in school for 8 years. Also, the salary I can make as a developer/engineer is close to that of some doctors."

Parents: "Well we wanted you to go to be a physical therapist. We feel that it's the best option for you."

Me: "I think this is my best option because there aren't even enough people available to fill the jobs that will be around when I graduate. Which also means that I can make a higher salary."

Parents: "Well I guess we'll see if you can make a living and provide for a family just playing/making games."

Me: "That's fine I never needed your support anyways."

*My parents thought that if the job wasn't physical labor then it wasn't a "real job". (Idk how they decided that a Physical Therapist was a "real job") I moved out less than a year after this argument because I was constantly put down by my parents for coding/programming as well as playing video games in my spare time. They thought it was childish. This has shown me what I won't do when I become a parent.*

*Just a side note: I have paid for everything I own that wasn't gifted to me since I was 18 and had a job while attending college. I also got a scholarship to go to college, so my parents didn't have to pay for any of it.*

The first job I had, asked me to build a simple CRUD functionality in CodeIgniter (It was popular in 2017).

I wasn't able to understand the framework and its ins and outs.
(I only knew Core PHP at that point).

It took me 3 days to finish the task and I got yelled at by the team leader because of it and I almost broke down crying. At that point I was convinced that web development career isn't for me.

The best way to describe what I had to do today is I "Channeled Macgyver"... now production is working.

⚪Data wasn't flowing as expected.
⚪Component written by our team was blamed.
⚪Boss asked me to bypass the component so data can flow.

Sure, I can fix that... Give me a car battery, a roll of duck tape and a butter knife. Data will be flowing in production shortly.

My first year lecturers in university. They were always passionate about their jobs and programming as a whole that it rubbed off on me. If it wasn't for them I wouldn't be staying up all hours working on projects while there are assignments due. My love of what I do stems from them and I would love to inspire at least one person like they did with me.

How to make own img tag in html:
(This wasn't me)

I started a short term contract job that requires access to company online resources. Only problem is the office I'm working in has really bad internet. The connection speed at best is comparable to dial up and at worse just non-existent. I tried tethering to my phone but this wasn't working either due to low signal. I mention this as an issue early on the week to the boss. Later in the week the boss asks how things are going at the same time that the network is down. I tell him the same problem. He then tells me his computer is fast and he has internet, so I show him the 2 computers I have access to and how they are too slow/no internet. He then tells me a bad workman blames his tools and he's not happy with me for having problems.

Don't even know what to say to that. I just told him this role wasn't working for me and clocked out.

I'm assuming me pc heard me last night, because the gobblecocking twat wouldn't POST this morning.

I had to take her power of completely and then the bitch started updating windows 10.

Its time to make linux the main gaming platform!
If it wasn't for gaming, windows wouldn't even exist anymore

Manager keeps fucking changing the requirements on me.

All day yesterday I couldn't even do any programming because I was so fucking tired. It wasn't until 2 pm and physically removing myself from my office that I finally could think about the problem I was having and move on. I was seriously really annoyed with myself and annoyed that scope creep keeps fucking up my shit.

This happened at the beginning of my first job:

Me: I want to clarify some things that wasn't specified in my task. I want to see if I need to do them and how I should solve it.
Senior dev: Don't worry about it. If testers pass the task back to you, then you do it. Just do as it is.
Me: 😓

If I close my eyes will all the problems pleas go away?

😭

These days where you haven't slept, woke up to smartphone having seizures and work began by spawning into a combat zone.

No I wasn't ready to fight, me wants sleep.

😫

So my coworker was trying to `npm install` after I recently installed Ubuntu on her machine and for some reason , I was doing something else, some jdk not being installed error popped on her screen.

She proceeded to have a mini freak out telling me that npm wasn't working because java wasn't installed and I started hysterically laughing in the middle of the office with my boss next to her staring at me... So I said firmly ( while laughing ):

"no bahuhaahah that's not hahahaha the case."

Still can't understand wtf she thinks happens with stuff in a computer... Cmon...

- name: "Clean up {{ project_dir }}
file:
state: absent
path: "{[ project_dir }}"

Took me 2 hours to figure out why this wasn't deleting files

So my senior visited some of my very old code today to make some changes on his own, then asked me to explain flow since he wasn't understanding it.

Me after looking at code for 2 minutes:
"When I was writing this, only God and I knew what it meant. Now, only God does."

Stories from a Startup #2

One day our CEO stormed through the office, going door-to-door holding a cease-and-desist notice he got from our ISP because someone decided to pirate "Chappie" at work.

Definitely wasn't me. 👀 Don't know if he found out who did it, though... but we all certainly knew.

Damn, nespresso! As if your fucking webshop wasn't bad enough, don't bug me (haha) with useless mails AND JUST TEST YOUR SHIT BEFORE PRODUCTION!!! Seriously, thousands of customers pay lots and lots of money for mediocre coffee in aluminum capsules, so JUST HAVE THE DECENCY TO INVEST SOME BUCKS INTO THE CUSTOMER FACING APPS!!!

My mom was a data analyst in the Army when I was a kid. At around 10 I remember her teaching me batch scripting. Just seeing code and working with the machine was amazing to me and since then I've tried to learn all I could.

I spent a long time not doing this kind of work and finally in the last few years decided to follow that passion. So for me 20 years of my own private passion has turned into a skilled and profitable career I wasn't expecting.

So the free WiFi at the Paris airport CDG bugged out for me earlier. Since it doesn't allow you to sign out, I had Schrodinger's WiFi as the login page said I'm connected but I wasn't (nothing worked).

She contacted me via linkedn calling me by a first name. A first name that wasn't mine :/

When your customer calls you out and asks why "such and such" data wasn't copied over to the other two instances.

Then, thinking of course that it must be my fault: *research begins*

Reply to customer:
Your boss sent me an email that listed data points to *not* copy over, the item in question being one of them.

BAM!! ....developers: 1 customer: 0

True Story

I just finished a project, it was a rewrite, the original used the zend framework about 7 years ago. It took a team of programmers (I think 4) to code the site, and it took them about a month.

Just me, and Laravel, took me 3 weeks to do the exact same thing. Ok, I didn't have to create any content, so I'll give them that, still, there wasn't much to create.

Should I be applauding my genius? Or, Laravel's magic?

I'll say... both.

Startup: We are looking for interns. Do this project that we know will take you a week. But your chances mostly depend on this project.

Me looking for my first internship: Takes complete 2 days to submit the project which had so many open-ended questions. They review and say I aced the project and would like to interview.

Interviewer 1: From the beginning starts asking me if I myself have done this or that, gets thrown some questions that I answer immediately and then suddenly get accused that I must have copied from a tutorial on an open-ended question. I used what I learned from my previous projects, what do you want from me. You never specified all the cases. Then he said is done.

Interviewer 2: Hello, we are a new startup. We will make you work 40 hours a week. Then he lied. Are you allowed to lie?? He said we are unpaid (I read it wasn't) to ask what motivates me. The other interviewer on being asked did say that it wasn't unpaid. By this point, I was done.

Got rejected today. Wasted almost 3 days on their stupid project. I am so salty!!!

Worked my ass off for every single thing, gave everything I had, didn't care about my friends too in some situations
But...
When it came to making someone the head... It wasn't me it someone not even close to me..

I've just received an urgent bug report email saying something like:

Stop sending [item] to destination. This should have been taken care of in the initial work, but we forgot to say so.

... The work they requested was that [item] gets sent to destination if the user checks a checkbox. If I wasn't supposed to build this, then what did they want me to build in the first place?!

I clearly don't understand how StackOverflow works. I posted a solution I came up with in a Q&A style, thinking it's a way for me to contribute to the community.

When I researched the challenge I needed to solve, I didn't find any elegant solutions that would have helped me achieve what I was aiming for.

One commentator said my post wasn't a real question about a real coding challenge, and wasn't compliant with SO guidelines.

Another commented that my search provider was clearly inadequate.

My submission was voted down so I just removed it with the intention of sharing it elsewhere.

It's almost as if StackOverflow resists contributions from newer users. Or, as I suggested at the outset, I clearly don't understand how to be a productive member of that community.

Git is good. Even when I do stupid things like reset a commit I wasn't supposed to, it gives me the chance to fix those mistakes.

(Oops. !rant)

What the f*ck ? Is it normal practice or its just me ? My boss outsourced me, i got recruited as regular, because i am early regular. Now i just got told that im one of 2 senior devs in a project. Kinda overwhelming because project is complex and is on stack i wasn't recruited to. Is it something normal that i should enjoy ? Currently im vomiting every morning before every daily and refinements and im considering leaving that job.

Does anyone else find Stack Exchange exhausting?

I start off feeling shit that I don't know how to solve my problem.... Then after asking on Stack, I end up feeling shit that I can't even ask a valid question!

Seriously, 80% of the effort is spent by everyone telling me it's a shit question, or off topic, or somehow wasn't asked in the correct way!

I knew I wasn't very good at SQL, but here is a proof.

Need to make a bulk recalculation action. Basiclly precalculate some values in a separate table to speed up acess.

1 day of work : Fully SQL solution with triggers.

Execute for test : 35 minuts !! for

Me : fuck that

Today : 7 lines c# solution (Took me less than 2 hours) . Same database, saame data set : 10 seconds execution.

Well, I guewss I'll never try again fully SQL solutions lol

Want to learn a new programming language. My main language is JavaScript and I spent most of my team learning to create full stack applications with it, but I would like to learn a second language to focus on. (I already have some experience in Java and Python and JavaScript wasn't my first language but I like JS)

Are there any languages that you could suggest me?

The intern beside me just called me to solve an error in PHP.

He wrote:
for($slides as $s){
}

The PHP error message wasn't quite clear:
Fatal error: expected ';' on line 84

How could possibly an intern who's becoming an engineer in IT make such mistake and lose like 1h on an error like that? I even attends one of the best universities in the country

PS:
I know engineers aren't supposed to code, but he's been coding for the past month in PHP and was here just to do that

This'll come in handy.

I spent my last two hours trying to understand why my code wasn't working... Turns out that if i write this.item.lenght instead of this. item.length it will never works.

Thans to cscode also, who never corrects me when i write lenght.

If I die within the next week, please know it wasn't stress but people annoying me to death with their infuriating mix of ignorance and stupidity.

Just spent 20 minutes figuring out why my .filter() wasn't working. I thought I was going crazy or the universe had shifted around me.

Nope, I was just using class as the variable name.

How's your Monday going?

God help me if I ever meet the person who created Javascript.
Happy it wasn't my first programming language or I would have quite coding even before I started.
I had rather fail in C++ a thousand times(I failed C++ in highschool) than ever code in JS.
#The hottest mess I ever met.

If for some reason you decide to write a shim for a VERY COMMON LIBRARY in your project:

1. DON'T
2. If you decide to ignore (1), at least make sure the SHIM WORKS THE SAME WAY AS THE LIBRARY

Two days of debugging sudden untraceable errors led me to find that a .so wasn't copied correctly during maintenance. fml

Did an interview and got some feedback and my coding challenge (I didn't make the cut) . Was surprised at a particular comment on why it was I didn't make the cut and it was about the code not compiling atall. So I went to check the repo and found some code which I oath to have removed lodged into the code base which prevented the reviewer from being able to compile it. How tf it wasn't flagged out when I was compiling before pushing to the repo is beyond me. Now I feel hella stupid and disappointed in myself 🤦🏾‍♀️ (to be fair it wasn't the only reason I didn't make the cut. The code could have being better)