A friend asked me to test a program he made
So i downloaded it, and i noticed that i crash when you try to minimize the window
After i tell him about the bug, he send me a new version, and said "I fixed it, it was pretty easy"
He just removed the minimize button
"to remove a bug, remove the feature"

This is a fun conversation I had:

Test Engineer: 😑 The test bench burst into flames.
Me: 😪😲 Do what now?
TE: 😐 The test bench burst into flames. It made a pretty impressive fire ball.
Me: 😮 . . . How are you so calm about this?
TE: 😐 Well it's not on fire now.
Me: 😶 Good point.
TE:😧 made me mad as hell though.
Me: 😕 why's that?
TE: 😬 Cuz I only had one damn step left in that test procedure and it was to turn the damn test bench off.
Me: 🤔 Correct me if I'm wrong but the test bench is off is it not?
TE: 😐 Well yeah.
Me: 🤔 and you caused it to be turned off by your actions no?
TE: 😕 . . . yeah . . .
Me:🤔 sounds like you turned it off to me.
TE: 😒
Me: 🙂
TE: 😐
Me: ☺
TE: 😑
Me: 😎
TE: 😐 but it won't turn on again.
Me: 🤔 do you have a requirement to be able to turn it on again after you turn it off?
TE: 😑 It's implied.
Me: 😐 not what I asked
TE: 😧 No not explicitly.
Me: 😎 sounds like you completed the test procedure.
TE: 😑
Me: 😎
TE: 😑
Me: 😎
TE: 😧 that's not how it works.
Me: 😎 doesn't it?
TE: 😑 No.
Me:😎
TE: *walks away* 😧😧😧
Me: *turns back to computer* well I was just trying to help YOU out 😒

I am the best at interpersonal communication.

Phone rings
Uh oh
Answers the phone
Its my boss
>the latest tool you made isnt working
Um... Yes it is?
>we cant run it because its a jar file
Um..
>how to you run a jar file?
Um... You click on it?
>it doesnt work, nothing shows up
(Maybe if you fucking read my documentation, you would see that it just generates the files you need)
>there are no files
Yes there are we tested on every possible hardware, theres no way to fuck it up
>there are no files
Okay maybe you just dont see them on your desktop, move the jar to an empty folder
>how do i do that

*hangs up*

Me: Can you make me some meatballs?

Engineer: No, what are you talking about?

Me: I thought you were a chef.

Engineer: I'm not a chef, what made you think that?

Me: I was looking at your code and I haven't seen that much spaghetti since Olive Garden ran the endless pasta special. I was just wanting some meatballs to go with it.

Me: would you like me to design the website as well?
Client: no, we have a web designer. you just have to implement it.
Me: *receives the design, made with powerpoint* 😐

I made a Trello board and listed some tasks for me and my team.

My boss comes in, I show him the trello board to show how I organized our tasks.

He liked it, so I asked him if we can use it more frequently.

He replied: this is your code, do whatever you want.

I asked: my code?

He replied: yah didn't just build this webpage? This interactive task manager.

Me in shock: hold on you think I built trello?

Boss: oh ... You didn't ? It looks like something you'd do for your "front end masterbaution".

Me: oh wow, well... If that was the case I would've made $425 million on top of my salary.

Boss: looked at me like meh ~ and walked away...

What the fuck!? Did you just fucking say you don't want to discuss API endpoints with me because I'm just a frontend developer? Get the fuck down from your imaginary backend throne and talk to me like the software engineer that I am. That's right, I'm a software engineer too, you fucking asshole. Just because you do backend and I do frontend doesn't mean you can talk down to me. And I swear that the next time you say you made all the work and I just have to "style it" I'll just leave. You can "style it" yourself.

A friend of mine: Look at this nice app I made 😎
*shows me a normal looking app with tabs and different views"
Me: Hmmm… looks good.
Friend: Do you know how I made the navigation between views? 😏
Me: I'm afraid to ask…
Friend: Since I didn't know how to use the piece of code I found on internet, I made multiple views one above another with visibility set to false, and during the navigation I just change the visibility. 😁
Me: WTF? Man… this isn't something you should be proud of… it shouldn't be done.
Friend: Do you also want to know how I backup the code?
Me: No…
Friend: I send it to myself via email.
Me: FUCK!
Friend: I also never use while loops, I prefer to use for instead with a break inside. 😊
*blocked*

this isn't even a tech thing. it just fucking bamboozled me. I overheard a conversation today.

> "duuuude you gotta make a better password that shit is insecure af"

> "bruh i did, i googled it"

> "googled what?"

> "how to make a good password"

> "so how longs your password?"

> "not long, it's bob2"

> "where's your capital?"

> "I made the '2' capital"

> "so you capitalized a number…"

thank god he walked away. he even told him his fucking password. ignorance.

First day at new web dev job:
Me: what IDE do you guys use?
Coworker: Notepad/notepad++
M: Okay... Any version control?
C: Oh we don't need it. We just update the server pages.
*Boss walks in*
Boss: Heres the project for you to do just need you to rebrand this web app we made for client A for client B just need to change some scripts. Should only take afew hours.

I take a look. No comments. Not formatted. Missing braces and brackets. Semicolons at odd places and missing at others. 7802 lines of code...

The first time I decided to hack around a bit:D

One of my teachers made a quiz software, which is only used by him(his lectures are about databases), and it is highly unsecure. When I heard that it is written in C# I decided to look in it's source code. The biggest problem I ran into: this program is only available on the computers in his classroom, and he monitors the computers display. However, I successfully put it into my pendrive without getting caught.

So when I got home, I just had to use a .NET decompiler(in this case: dotPeek) to get the fully functional source code. The basic function of the program was to download a quiz from his database server, and when it was finished, grade it client-side. Than, I realized how bad it was: It contains the number of questions, the number of correct and incorrect answers.
I've just made a modified .exe, which contained really little modification(like correctAnswers=maxQuestions, incorrectAnswers=0). Everything looks the same, you just have to click over it, and everytime it will return with 100%.

And the bonus: The program connects to the database as a user with root access, and without password. I was able to log in, download(dropping was available too, but didn't try) databases(with all the answers) and so on.

Never had to use it though, it was just a sort-of experience gaining.:)

I just hate npm dependencies.

If you want to write a small website with npm dependencies (some frontend deps like Bootstrap and some development deps like gulp or babel) you will have more npm dependencies in your project than own code. It is ridiculous, how some lazy developers just add dependencies to their projects, without evaluating their dependencies. The source code of one of my projects is around 4MB (without any dependencies). If you then run yarn as required, it grows to around 80MB (where 73MB are node_modules).

This is just terrible.

I rant about this, as I made the mistake to upload my node_modules directories when restoring a backup of my server. Worst idea one could ever have.

client: the math on this investment calculator you made is wrong.

me: ok, how is it wrong?

client: one of our salesmen sais it not calculating correctly.

me: that's fine. i just need an example, or the corrected formula to use.

client: on this other website we put in the same information and it comes out different.

me: ok, let me investigate... this other site adds a fee every month so the output is different. If i turn that off the calculations are the same. would you like to add a monthly fee field?

clients: no, the calculator is working how we want then.

repeat 5 times at 3 month intervals.

client: the interest calculator is broken again. didn't we just fix it?

me: it was never broken. your people just can't math.

Dev : Every user in your organisation requires their own username and password...

User: Why?

Dev: Because if everyone uses one account, every note, product, message etc made by all the user's will be saved to that one account and confuse the he'll out of everyone using it when they can't find their 'own' information they made/captured/downloaded.
We just need the user emails.

User:We can't give you all the user emails just use one account ....
(The reason for not providing us the emails is purely cause it would require user to do work and that's out of the question)

Dev: Uhm ok, but this is not what you want, and *interrupts*

User: It is what we want, do it like that everyone will understand and it will make the system easier.

*Two weeks later*

User: Why is there only one account? Why doesn't everybody have their own account? This is not what we wanted.

... The shit you have to deal with when you are on holiday ...

Guuuys! I made it! I just got my first job in IT as a Junior Sys Admin at a Security/Pen Testing company. So happy right now. Just wanted to share with you. :D

Manager: What’s taking so long on that PR?? It’s just some small styling adjustments

Dev: No it’s not you added an entire new calendar module that doesn’t work

Manager: Ok but besides that it’s just a small couple of css edits

Dev: You made styling changes in 50 files, half of which break our mobile responsiveness

Manager: Well then STOP talking to me and FIX IT if you’re so smart.

Dev: You also added a series of filters on a table in this same PR that cause th—

Manager: OK SO I GOT A BIT DISTRACTED THE FACT IS IT ALL NEEDS TO GET DONE SO IT DOESN’T MATTER IF IT’S ALL ON ONE PR SPLITTING THINGS UP INTO SMALL UPDATES IS JUST UNNECESSARY BUREAUCRACY AND IF YOU LIKE THAT THEN GO. WORK. FOR. THE GOVERNMENT!!!

Dev: …

I just quit my job!
The company I worked for is a small company founded in Jan of this year and I was there since the early days but wasn't a founder nor a partner.
It was me who decided on which tech stack we should use, which languages, what servers to use, best practices and almost anything related to development. I was the lead developer and project manager for the biggest project they had.
But they decided that I don't deserve to be a partner. I was making more than 50,000 SDG per month for the company but only paid 6,000. The worst thing is that the partners don't know shit about software development. They have no vision for where should the company be in the future.
I just had enough. I already had my own software dev business before joining them, and it was successful.
I am going back to building my own company with my own vision.
I know I made the right decision, but it still hurts leaving a company after u made it what it is today. It is like your own baby and you are abandoning it.
Hopefully, it is for the best.

Tester: I'm going to start testing your Android code. How do I set up it?

Me: just bring me an Android test device and I'll show you

Tester: *comes back holding a big golden phone*

Me: *huh? Haven't seen that Android device before... I wonder which manufacturer made it*

Tester: *puts down golden phone on my desk* here you go!

Me: 😱😱😱😱
...
HUH? This is an iPhone!!!!
😩😱😧😖😰😫😵😱😱

Watching a cookery program and it made me think it must be hard being a chef.

Then it made me think that being a web developer is a bit like cooking.

You have your ready meal equivalent with WordPress and Wix.

You have your cook at home kits with front-end frameworks like bootstrap and foundation.

You have your recipes and ingredients with package managers like npm and JavaScript modules.

Then you have your own home made cooking using vanilla js, CSS and HTML made to your own liking.

Just like being a good chef, being a good web developer is about knowing what ingredients and methods to include, but also what to leave out, to get the best result!

*burp* Me..Merry Christmas

I made a thing. It's called Claymore.

It's like lastPass, but with a bomb attached to it.

Its *burp* like, if you're like really paranoid about your passwords, you can just, you can just blow it all up.

Pro-Tip, if you run it on port 1337, it's extra sec-*burp*-ure.

Am I kidding? Maybe. I made this w/ booze, so.

Gotta love clients which ask you for a quote to expand the system you did for them, then a week or two later "accidentally" found some cheap absolutely garbage dev that made it for 1/5th of your price and during all that destroyed half your work, by e.g. replacing uuids with just ids, making the system now leak how many users there is, all their user saved content, allowing to just increment through them all, also then acting surprised when I decline any further work with them.

Then theres also clients that even after explaining all physical or software limitations, act like you should be a core developer and just fix that, for fucks sake you were using freaking excel sheets before, be happy with any possible change.

"I made your static HTML pages into a dynamic site! Now just include <%Header%> instead of copy pasting that nav into every page!"

...1 week later...

"You made our website all crazy. None of the pages have headers in the source code but it still shows up by some kind of witchcraft. Put it back."

That feeling you get when you run

$ php tvVolUp.php

And the god damn tv’s volume goes up a level 😆

Now to clean the shit out of the chaotic mess I just made and make it work from a Rpi which I’ll then add to my voice activated list for my google home.

Coz you know voice activated TV remote in PHP 😍

God dammit, my ISP fucked up.

I have a 400 Mbit/s Internet connection, which I pay a lot for it. I live in the central of a average city and we got 18 Appartements here with a banque and a wellness shop underneath.

There is a new shop under our block and 1 month ago a tecnician was here and made some recabling, so the shop would get enough performace.

Now since 1 week ago I have a bad output, laggs in games and just get about 250 Mbit/s, when not on high traffic times.

That fucking multipler in our house is over 10 years old and around 18 households are connected to it.

WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU NOT CHANGING IT, WHEN YOU SEE IT'S NOT ENOUGH?

We all here in this building are paying a lot for it, and now that fucking thing is overused and broken and you're just grabbing our money you shitbags!!!

YOU HAD ONE JOB! ONE FUCKING JOB!!!

My teacher at school who taught me programming. We were taught Java.

You see, Java is not a beginner's language, most say. But the way she taught it, the examples, the analogy, the explanation; she made it so easy.

She made us execute our first Hello World program (using BlueJ) and proudly said, "you're all programmers now!", that was when fascination took me over. I remember​ that moment till today.

Also, unlike regular exams, the programming exams required extreme competency. Marks were split up for algorithm and syntax. There were also questions like find the error in this algorithm for this output. She would always surprise us at the exams!

I had several glorious moments in class by being the first to answer most of her questions. At 13, it was kind of a big deal for me.
(Okay, who am I kidding, it still is :-P)

*sigh*

It was mostly just self learning from there. I switched schools and then there was college. Attending classes in college was like going to the gym with fat trainers. Utterly useless :-/ It just made me appreciate her even more.

Someone asked for internship at DevRant and got this answer, since the devs haven't made a big thing out if it I thought I'd just leave this printscreen right here..

You know what point I'm trying to make :)

Edit: I just renewed, dunno who my ++ isn't showing..

"Do you know the HTML? I need an email template"

Nah, the website just fucking magically made itself, it was amazing.

My brother made a PC game for his game dev class.

You are a hamster with a hammer
- acorns drop and u crack them for points
- you have to avoid rolling logs and eagles that swoop down
- the game gets faster

Dad: I just played the game, I think it has potential like Angry Birds, can you convert it to Android?

Me: no and no
Dad: why and why?
Me: **facepalm and takes a deep breath**

Explains why very simply and that I'm not a game dev... And if he thinks it's that good, go pay for a freelancer...

Just released the side project that made me join programming! :) It's been about five months and I learned a lot: PHP, JavaScript, CSS, Handlebars, Jquery, Git (terminal), I even started building a RestAPI. Its been an amazing journey, and I didn't alone! I met other Devs (now good friends) over the Internet and we did it together :) Thanks to everyone on DevRant for being such a great community!
If you want to take a look at the site is: projectgroupie.com
It's a website to find new projects you like and join them! So if you're a developer and you wanna make a blog, you post your project on PG asking for some designer to help you and if someone like it, he can join! :)

I hope you enjoy it and any feedback is welcome!

Client: "We don't want line breaks in that column make it 500px wide!"
Me: Makes the column 500px wide. Sees that the line breaks are still there. Asks if it should be made wider to fit the text.
Client: "Just implement what we send you"
Me: Ok (thinking wtf)
Client after testing: "Why are there still line breaks?!?"
🙄😥😤😭
Why the actual hell can't they get there freaking requirements in order?!? This shit happens with every fourth request!

Hot take: PHP is pretty good nowadays.

I'm a Laravel dev right now and things just get done so quickly. Every language has its problems but the meme of PHP hate seems to be made more out of ignorance these days. You could find just as many problems with any other language.

For those that say I'm biased because I work through the framework more than the language, I'd ask don't you do the same? ASP.NET, Java EE, the millions of JS frameworks, all these also make your life easier within their languages.

In the end, work with what makes you happy and productive and be done with it.

I got a design from designer on making a website. I made it responsive all the way to screens as wide as 2000px.

Designer: Why didn’t you follow my design. The site is so wide now on my screen. Can you follow my design?

Me: So limit the site to a max width of 700px as per you design.

Designer: yes please

Me: ok.

[ A week later]

Designer: Just checked out the site on a wide screen. It looks so empty. Can we do something to make the content fit to the window so it looks less empty on a wide screen?

Me: 🤨🖕🏽

So boss finds out that a competitors app has a youtube vid making half a million views.

His response to the lead dev: make one video like that!

Lead: But that video needs at least a video editor to make it, a professional and at least a couple thousands euros.

Boss: you are my best dev just do it, I believe in you...

Worst part is that he tried he made a couple hundred views and boss dissed him that he is useless. Go figure!

You know, there is so much of a push to get girls to start programming. You know what, the industry is doing just fine, and if a girl wants to get in, she can. Girls shouldn't be considered special, they shouldn't be given a handicap and no one should assume they are worse.

There is absolutely no money to be made in the "Girls who Code" push and people need to start seeing that they are polluting everything.

I just saw, on Shark Tank, some crappy version of the Sphero, which may be the biggest insult to a product, ever, that was basically a Barbie driving around and you can program it. I want to die.

Dev Badass Rant

There are two occasions really:

1) For our C++ project in the third semester, we had to build any kind of C++ application. Guys in team of 4-5 built record keeping systems and calculators and one even made a Tic-Tack-Toe app. My friend and I, just the two of us, made a simple program that plays Rock Paper Scissors with you. With the power od OpenCV, it used the camera to track your hand movement, predicts your next move using contours, and displays the winning move as the computer's move.
For example, if you play Rock, the computer would predict that you were gonna play rock and display paper as it's move. It wasn't perfect, but it was ours, right from scratch. When it worked at the presentation, I was swell with pride. 😂

2) I was interested in game dev so I started Unity. The first tutorial in Unity you find is the web series by Unity about rolling a ball. You simply make a platform and control the ball with your keyboard and the camera follows your ball. You also make pick ups and get points based on that. So I started there, finished the tutorial, added a few walls, made edible and non edible pick ups, dimmed the entire scene, adjusted the camera angles, transferred controls to mobile gyroscope and added a few other things and voila! MazeBall was born. It has only one level and I thought it was pretty shit.
I decided to show it to a friend and when I showed it to my mate (the one who I worked with in the C++ project), my other classmates saw it and were impressed. Like so impressed a couple of them transferred it to their phone and took home with them. 😂 Was inspired to improve.

Linux... Is shitty... Ok it just is. I've tried all kinds of variations and they all just... Urgh

Now I know... I know devs are meant to love it ... But compare it to windows

(Yes windows fucks up more) but when it works it works.

... Windows isn't perfect... But it doesn't try to be.

Linux has that feel of... Clearly made by a dev... It works consistently but doesn't take into account how people want to use something...

Linux is something you have to learn to love. And I'm sure I could.
But with windows it's intuitive it's straight forward

I feel like if I was to pick up windows having never used it... I would know how it works. I could at least use it go online and watch videos do the basics... In Linux ... No it's not as easy, sometimes not possible

An os you should just know how to do everything you want to do, and not have to download tonnes of shit to get it that way

It is, the future... But holy fuck get your act together Linux

this happens way too often in our company

PM: did you made that change I requested?
me: yeah, its on the live server now, why?
PM: I cant see it...
me: *wtf, I specially forced the JS to reload to eliminate problems with cache* could you send me a screenshot?
PM: *sends screenshot*
me: I dont get it... I can see the changes in my browser *dev feeling intensifies* ... refresh the site and try again
PM: oh... suddenly its there, ...anyway, thanks! it looks great!
me: *facepalm*

turns out our managers just dont refresh websites, they want changes to take place immediately

If I died, I would have one regret.

I once worked in a code base whose messiness would make an oil spill in the fucking pacific ocean look like spilled milk on the floor in comparison.

Naturally, it had bugs. Oh BOY did it have bugs. Most of them were taken care of well enough. Or about as well as anyone insane enough to work in that code could.

There was just this one bug, which I still (un)fondly call "my bug of 2 years". It. Just. Didn't. Make. Sense.

It was written in JavaScript. Naturally. Which by itself, is the metaphorical programming language equivalent of a pile of horse manure. But this bug. It was the guano icing on top of the horse manure cake which is JavaScript.

I LITERALLY spent 2 years trying to find a solution. I woke up at night, thinking of explanations. I had dreams about fixing the damn thing. And I never did.

On the day I left the job, I had to pass it on to a friend (who hasn't solved the fucker yet either).

I hated that bug with all my heart. But..

Now that I think back, all the books I read, all the docs that I scoured, every non working fix I coded and every failed efforts I made on it, eventually made me a better programmer.

So cherish your bugs and issues. Sometimes, they come, not to hurt you, but to help you grow (unless you use JS, those bugs just wanna fuck you).

I just went to a job interview and ended up declining their offer & I said thank you for the opportunity and their reply was, "I wish you hadn't wasted our time." It made me cry and it was SO unprofessional.

Comment on a GitHub issue on one of my repos:

"Almond I posted this feature request last month, please start to work on it in your free time"

Dude, that's just made it a whole lot less likely I'll even give that feature request the time of day. Take your entitled arse attitude to the bank and pay me to do it if you care that much.

Also, free time?!?! Hahahaha.

I just found a game (have not played it yet) that I think everyone here will cream over.

It's an insanely detailed hardware/ low level/ make-your-own-computer game.

I watched the trailer and it sets you up by teaching you logic gates and basic circuitry.

Then, it eventually teaches you how to build your own computer using these gates.

Then, you start creating your own assembly language using the computer you made.

Then, you use your computer to solve problems like sending a robot through a maze or just building snake on a display.

Absolutely check it out, it's on sale for $13 USD. I just bought it. Turing Complete on Steam.

If you see someone ranting about a colleague who made a semi-major fuckup which was not recognised during dev and stage testing and made it to production where it was discovered three days after deployment just when he went on holiday, well, that colleague was me.

!rant

This might be not much to most of you people, but I just made my very first mod for a game. And it works. And it took me just an hour. 2 years ago I had no idea how to code. I am proud.

Fiverr, so for those of you who are fortunate enough not to know what it is, fiverr is a freelance platform that takes 20% profit from well, profit made using the platform. That includes tips from buyers. It has nothing to do with what the rant is about, I just wanted to mention it.

So I had a "gig" that was doing really well, new customers every week, the analytics stated I had 2.1k impressions(and I dont even advertise). Then recently I gkt a push notification that said I needed to edit my gig, I was a bit confused. Then almost immediately after, I got an email saying my gig was taken down for copyright infringement. That made me really annoyed because all I ever made for buyers was my own code and screenshots. I contacted customer support, still waiting for a reply.

P.s. I am pretty sure this is my first rant😀

Is it just me, or does nobody read their fucking email? Especially when I try explain how a bug isn't trivial to solve because its based on some shitty design decision, that the managers made, that is practically the core of the app. If YOU cant understand the logic with me explaining it to you in plain FUCKING ENGLISH, than how in the name of baby FUCKING jesus, do you expect me to communicate that to the most complicated machines that man has ever built?!? What in the actual fuck do you even do here?!? I could do your job blind-folded, with terminal access to the db, while a monkey was flinging shit at me!

so I've just made an experiment. Booted up my now dust-free PC w/ an old LMint 17.1 installation, opened up terminal, full-screened it and opened vim in edit mode.

Sat my 1.5 year old on my lap and gave him the keyboard.

10 minutes did not pass and the kid was back in the terminal!

so whenever you say VIM is hard to use -- SHAME ON YOU! My toddler learns faster than you do!

This happened via mail thread today.

Boss: we need this new brilliant feature I just made up and running asap! Top priority, it has to be done well, for my reputation is on the line!

Me: *looks at the specifics* 'kay, looks easy enough, this evening max and it will be ready. I just nees some extra info about what kind of data validations (I speak no accountant) are needed, and some other details (a total of 3 questiona).

B: Sure! Remember, it needs to be perfect, as my reputation is at stake. Call me on the phone and I'll give you the details!

M: Can't you answer via mail? Thua way both me and the other devs will have clewr guidelines

B: Just call me! Why do you need it to be written down? It's faster this way!

...Fine. I'll keep asking until you're ready to give me a written answer to my questions. No way I'll take security details via phone for something you want in production this evening. No chance in Hell I'll take responsibility for "misunderstanding" what you said on the phone. Why does it always has to be like that?

Our college has PC's with Pentium Core 2 Duo processors and 1 GB RAM. We are made to code Java on windows using default notepad and cmd. There's nothing more infuriating than that.

Me: Ma'am, can we use any IDE for our mini project or finals?

She: No kid, you can't just use that. This is code you have to write it.

Me: Wut?

I've just seen a WordPress inside another WordPress.

- Why was it made like this?
- If it works, you should not touch it.
- Ok. :/

Real fact: 1999

IT: IT, how can I help?
MrB: I'm Butcheek. This program is shit, I can't even log-in!
IT: oh.. Ok Mr. Butcheek, let’s see if I can help...
MrB: of course you can: fix this shitty program and made me log in!
IT: I’ll try to do my best to assist you, can you...
MrB: I just want to log in! Can you speak my language? This new program is ridiculous, I wonder why you IT guys changed the old one, it was a mess but at least I could log in...
IT: I'm sorry you are experiencing this problem, but to assist you I need to know exactly what's the problem
MrB: I CANT LOG IN!!!
IT: ok, I understand this, but can you please provide some more information? Do you receive any particular error messages?
MrB: it says “wrong password” but it's not true!
IT: Ok, that's strange. Look, I'm resetting your password and then you will try again. At the first log in you will be asked to change it again, ok?
MrB: just be quick, I can't waste any more time on this!
IT: sure... Ok done. Please, can you try again? The password is “butcheek”
MrB: it asks for the username. What am I supposed to write here?
IT: “butcheek”
MrB: oh... Ok. And what's the password?
IT: “butcheek”
MrB:... No... Wait... Ok, “butcheek” is the password but what's the username?
IT: “butcheek”!
MrB: you don't understand, I have to put both username AND password!
IT: I know! “butcheek”! For both username AND password!
MrB: so I have to write “butcheek”-”butcheek”?
IT: yes, “butcheek”-”butcheek”!
MrB: so... “butcheek”...twice? Sounds weird... are you sure?
IT: yes I'm sure! However, you can choose either to write “butcheek” twice or “ASS” once, if you prefer...

"Its not cloud, its just some one elses computer.."

Holy shit Sherlock dont you say. And did you know that you arent lets say Tom, but just some other human. Or you know what? Did you know that its not a diamonds your are browsing, but just a fucking pile of Carbon?

Goddamn that has to be the most annoying quote IT industry has ever made and everytime I hear someone say that, I just feel like they are shitting in their mouths.

Its just a name, common word for fucks sake, just like there are macs, which are just computers, believe it or not..
Just get over it please...

PS. If I ever hear you telling that quote to random person looking like messiah, I swear I will beat your head untill it comes out of your ass.

Have a blessed day.

My father while I was tinkering in the workshop :
"You see, I think you chose the wrong studies, you would have liked something else like material science a lot more."
At this moment my face took a question mark shape.
"Wait.. What? I mean... You know, I quit mechanical engineering to computer science, I actually made this decision because I thought it was better for me."
Him :
"But you will never have a good job in it. Material science for example is the booming industry, it's the future."
"What the... No, just no. Every year at my university several mechanical engineering students get thrown out because they can't even find an internship. Whereas most CS students find more than one and end up sharing job offers with their friends. And talk about an interesting job, in the mechanical domain everything already exists and it's just a matter of applying the same boring standards over and over again, when it's not just pure technician managing. In CS new technologies and tools appear regularly, keeping it interesting because evolution is hardly limited by real life physics, just by one's brain."

Pissed me off.

Imagine if, when a Windows version became outdated (So anything before Windows 8, I guess), Microsoft made it available in the public domain.

We could have Windows distributions, just like Linux! Imagine how weird it would sound if you just said to your Linux-using friend, 'Oh yeah, I use arch!' and they replied 'Oh, me too! I love Arch Linux!', and you just stare at them and say:

'What's Linux? I only use Arch Windows.'

...
...
...

'Arch Windows? Are you stupid?', they would reply in utter disbelief.

We all know someone's gonna blurt out 'Yeah guys! I just downloaded Kali Windows so I could learn to hack, I don't know what you're talking about!'

Ah, good times.

Well, the system is offline, links are broken and users are complaining! Developer, what did you do?

After some digging around the designer made a "simple change" to a csv file, add a column to include the image file name of each item...

I mean, it just shifted ALL THE COLUMNS in a csv file but what could go wrong? 🤦‍♂️

Hiring process is fucking broken ok?
We all do have something else to do, nobody wants to do "homework" for 4 fucking hours. Which let's be real, isn't 4 hours. It's always more. I try to squeeze it in a least amount of time which means mistakes will be made. I always try to show my knowledge of the language and it's features. But, you didn't do X. That's it, that is a no from us.
Dude, I just wrote a high production grade small project with 90%+ test coverage and you are telling me that those 2 small shit I made is a big deal? Fuck off

Most companies I worked with have a code full of shit and here I present to you, with a poetry and it's a no because of X?

My bet is that if I ever started to work there I would find a code that isn't tested and is in shit state

\rant

Hey fam, first post in devrant!

Possible client comes up to me and asks me what my mockup for his app looks like. I show it to him on running on my Android device.

Him: where are all the images and descriptions/info?

Me: you didn't give me any. I just made what it could look like if we had images and descriptions.

Him: well talk to some people in the departments and put it in.

Me: but that's not my job. You wanted me to make what it could look like if we actually went through with this project.

Him: okay. How hard would it be to make it for Apple?

Noooooooooo... I'm out.

High school. The teacher in IT made some learning platform for the school in PHP. There was a module where you could upload files.

You could just upload a PHP file, and get it to run by accessing it through a direct link.

If you're going to request CRITICAL changes to thousands of records in the database, and approve it through testing which is done on an exact replica of production, then tell me it was done incorrectly after the fact it has been implemented and you didn't actually review the changes made to the data or business logic that you requested then you are an idiot. Our staging environment is there to ensure all the changes are accurate you useless human. Its the data you provided, I didn't just magically pull it from thin air to make yours and my job a pain the ass.

A 40 ish woman who works with economics said "you don' know anything about AI because you're only 16". I then proceeded to show her my shitty AI me and my friend made and explained how it worked. (It was really shit but would still consider it an AI)

She just stood there and was pretending to understand so when I was done explaining about it, I told her not to assume you're smarter than a 16 year old just because you're older and have read some article about AI on The Daily Mail.

I really enjoy hearing:
- This is number one priority
- It is urgent
- the highest priority
Just because someone somewhere didn't do his planning it doesn't mean that his lack of judgement should affect me one bit. You made your bed my friend, now sleep on it.

It was a girl who made the interview...
Girl:bla bla bla work stuff
Me: just staring and answering dumb questions..
Girl : do you find me attractive..?
Me: wtf like aaa what I'm gay sorry.
Girl :so you became gay because of me...?
Me: these questions aren't related to work... Will you continue or what?
Girl : looked me bad....
and went to the next room and a guy came. Fast forward...
im working with her for 4 years now...
(hope you don't hate me for this)

I just made the world a little cleaner by not opting for veal today. Instead they are selling insect burgers in Germany and I had two of them.

They are made from buffalo worms, feeded and grown in Germany. No antibiotics. Almost no wasted corn or wheat.

Taste: like a veggie pattie with nuts and seeds. Texture is surprisingly "smooth".

Quite expensive at the moment, but I'll go for it again (€5 for two patties).

Would you try them?

!rant

Linux just made my day. Everybody knows how Windows won't let you shutdown your hardware until it updates, right? So last night I forgot I was upgrading Manjaro in a background terminal (full distro update, tons of packages) and hibernated my rig, plugged it off, took it to a different location. Today I hooked it up - different network, IP, etc. - it woke up, finished compiling whatever it ended up on then downloaded, compiled and installed everything else, said "Thank you very much!" and dropped the mic. Someone tell me this isn't pure awesomeness! 😂

It asked again for root password but other than that... shrugged off 12 hours difference like a boss!

I can't tell you how much I hate people who make articles doing relatively simple things, in node, and instead of showing how to do it, they proceed tell you to install a fucking package (usually made by them)

Yeah no thanks, it's great that you figured this out and took the time to "enlighten" other devs but I'll just look at your repo and use the native JavaScript functions you wrapped on myEgoInflatingPagacke.justAWrapperHuehue(). Bye.

Too much math ? Seriously ? Had you made the effort to atleast 'look' at them, you would see how simple they are. And just because I use the word 'equation' does not automatically make it a Volterra Integral Equation.

Could've discussed the subject at hand. But no, let's bring on the judgement. Who wants to ever discuss the subject ?

Just submitted my first app to the Microsoft Store 🎉🎉

It's a simple offline password manager that also accepts other formats of data such as credit card and personal info.

Made it using WinUI 3. To prevent you from forgetting your master password, each "locker" accepts an unlimited number of passwords. If you forgot one, you can just use a different one. This is my idea to make offline password managers a little less of a hassle.

Can't wait for approval from the store!

Why is it so hard to just build machines that work without all this ideological bullshit? Code doesn't care if politics==true. The world is scary enough without you assholes making modern life a data minefield for even the most educated experts, and taking advantage of the ignorance of everyone else. Fuck you.
I just wanna <look at web pages> without having to consider, counteract, or silently assist some fucking regime. Why is EVERYTHING this way? Everything is a back door or a data mine or a political statement? This isn't a fucking art piece! It's not your espionage tool, fucking codes in invisible ink and tiny cameras and shit everywhere! It's a <web browser>, and if it does ANYTHING besides <browse the web> that I didn't explicitly tell it to do, you better better not be the one who made it. Because if you did, you are what's wrong with the world.

3 in 1
---

If your project needs more than three sentences to describe and the budget is not in the high four digits or preferably five, then you're clearly not fucking paying enough

---

Clients that just write a "?" after you wrote a very detailed tutorial, which even a fucking skunk could do, if given a fucking mouse and keyboard, are just the fucking laboratory perfection made retards

---

I just LOVE IT when my internet drops out for under a minute, so windows doesn't notify you yet and your sftp client trashes both local and remote files

Boss: Alright so after lunch can you show me all the changes you've made for project x?
Me: there haven't been any visible changes to it so it looks exactly the same as when I showed you at the end of the day yesterday. Just reorganised the code a bit.
Boss: Well, refresh my memory anyway.
Me:...

I've legit just spent the past few days CRYING to get my react native app to compile on iOs using the xcodebuild command so that I can use a cloud build service (VS App Center). It works fine with XCode 'play' button but not through the command line. About to give up. Literally Googled 'fuck xcode' and found this, thank you guys, you made today a bit less dreary than what i was going to be. Reading through the posts actually made me laugh out loud.

I had to buy a mobile printer for my company for an "emergency" for a demo. I sent my boss 3 prices and he just said "go get it, we'll pay you back." After I deliver the features my boss says "Just take it back and demand a refund" this made me feel like such a douche with the supplier, plus I had to pay a 15% handling fee.

Time for a REAL fucking rant.

io_uring manpages say you can set the CAP_SYS_NICE capability to allow SQPOLL to work. You can't, you still get an operation not permitted errno result.

Why? I checked, it says 5.10 mainline is required. Pretty sure I just manually downloaded and installed the Deb's myself. uname reports that I am at 5.10. So what gives?

Maintainer submitted a patch because they fucked up and made the *actual* capability check look for what's basically root permissions (CAP_SYS_ADMIN... c'mon...) and is now trying to rectify a glaring security shortcoming.

Patch hasn't been accepted or even addressed yet but they already updated the manpages with the estimated mainline kernel release as if it had made it into the release candidate. Manpages have made it into latest debs but the actual change has not.

Where the fuck is the Linus Torvalds that would ream the fuck out of shitty developers doing shitty things? The political correctness climate has discouraged such criticism now and the result... this. This fucking mess, where people are allowed to cut corners and get away with it because it would hurt their feelings when faced with pressure.

I'm not just guessing either. The maintainer has already said some of the "tone" of criticisms hurt his feelings. Yes, sorry, but when you claim 90% speedup over a typical epoll application using your new magical set of syscalls, and nobody can even get 1-2% speedup on a similar machine, people are going to be fucking skeptical. Then when you lower it to 60% because you originally omitted a bunch of SECURITY RELATED AND CORRECTNESS CHECKING CODE, we're going to call you the fuck out for fudging numbers.

Trying to maintain the equivalent of academic integrity within the computer science field is an exercise of insanity. You'd be fired and shunned from publishing in journals if you pulled that shit in ANY OTHER FUCKING FIELD, but because the CS scene is all about jerking each other off at every corner because the mean people keep saying mean things on Twitter and it hurts your feelings therefore we're all allowed to contribute subpar work and be protected from criticisms when others realize it's subpar.

These aren't mistakes anymore, it's clear you're just trying to farm clout at Facebook - maybe even FOR Facebook.

Fuck you. Do it right, the first time. Sick of shitty code being OK all of a sudden.

Is it just me or Social media has made everyone philosophers automatically.

Like pretty dumb and hopeless folks you know in real life be posting some smart and motivational shit they copied off of some random site.

Dude get your dumbass off my screen mehn...coming around here giving advice on how to make my life better...have you seen your life lately?

It can't be just me...

Felt like a real badass in middle school when I made my first .bat script that would recursively open itself. Took only two words. Four if you wanted exponential recursion rather than linear. And I came up with it by myself.

Cheesiest thing ever, but I really loved freaking people out by opening it and just watch windows grind to a halt as it would run out of ram opening thousands of terminal windows. Hell, it still gives me a kick today when I show it to people the first time :D

The story of how I stumbled onto devrant:

Not long ago I was struggling with visual studio and did not know what to think, do or say. The only thing I wanted to do was scream while I banged my laptop against the wall. Just before doing that I googled "fuck Vs fuck Microsoft" and I was introduced to devrant. Something about reading the rqnts of frustrated developers made me calm (It also made me laugh). So what I really want to say is: thank you devrant for saving my money.

Dumbass made me update site with broken code ...

After git pulling I got an ich and tested it...

So the following talk happened:

Me: feature x is still broken (it was working before...)

Dass: yeah, I just wanna make some screenshots of it from another machine that has windows.

Me: OK, I just rolled the changes back, you can access the other machine at lan...

Me inside: OOOHHHH YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT MADE ME GET UP FROM BED AND START MY FUCKING COMPUTER FOR THIS BULLSHIT IDIOTIC NONSENSE?!? FOR REAL??? GET YOU SHIT TOGETHER ASSHOLE!

I recently got into an interview where the interviewer made a huge mistake:

R: “what’s your resignation period?”
Me: “well, long story short I’m working on a contract so it’s actually short, just 1 month”
R: “mhhh could you make it 2 weeks somehow? We may really need to start sooner”

This is a sentence you shouldn’t say as a recruiter as now I know:
- You are desperate to find someone
- You have a time urgency
- You failed to find someone before
- You basically confirmed you want me in

"Did you really buy a macbook to put ubuntu on it?"
"Wow why would you use such an overpriced piece of garbage just to put linux on it?'
"You made the worst choice of hardware to put ubuntu on"

Maybe, just maybe, I didn't fucking buy it myself and I got it from work? Maybe I didn't fucking pay a dime to get a laptop to put ubuntu on it? Ever considered that I got it for fucking free and have the privilege to do what I want with it?

Go fuck yourself if your first assumption is that I would actually buy a macbook just to erase MacOS from it

Time to learn as mush as i can, Just Made Hello world Programs in 9 languages.
C#
C++
HTML
JavaScript
NodeJS
Perl
PHP
Python2
Ruby

If you Have some other things Tell me And i will try to learn it to

Recently found a weirdest job in IT company.
The job description said you just don't need to know anything, but sometimes say some phrases like: "Who made this code, and I hate when it isn't made with framework" sitting in front of a laptop.
Someone is looking for fake programmer. I was astonished.
They said they have about four devs sitting in office and nobody believed then it is no problem, so they posted this to find couple of fake devs. Glasses and ugly sweaters is a must...

What an awesome feeling it is to have three meetings sceduled for tomorrow and not have made any preparations for either of the because your workload is somewhat a fuckup and you also just don't fucking give a shit anymore.

Quitting at the end of the month.

#funtimes

Junior Dev me: ok boss, coding is basically done, just need to do some more system testing.
Senior Dev: fantastic let me take a look.
(3 hours later)
Senior Dev: ok so I've made some small changes and pushed, could you pull my edits.
me: sure
(pulls changes)
(EVERYTHING Is changed)
(try to compile)
(doesn't compile)
Me: sorry, it doesn't seem to compile for me
Senior Dev: I never tried to actually build it, it's only a small change
me:

This is something I think about a lot. Value of Licenses in open source! As long as it is open source people don't seem to care much about the license attached to it.
There is this portfolio a girl desiged and created herself and made it open source. And she clearly states that she spent hours of time designing it so if you use this then do make sure give credit in the footer saying she designed it. Then I see a lot of people using her repo as their own with zero credit to her. That's just awful.

Problem: Someone isn't receiving emails.

Me: Finds that someone else set up their account without an email address.

Me: Man what kinda person would let you turn on email alerts without a valid email address .....

-Checks-

Me: You know anyone could have made that mistake, I'll just fix it up right here ....

When someone is presenting their code for aspects of a terribly made page.

They know you are proficient in 6 different languages, and then still ask "is it too hard for you".
Holding back my comments, just sitting down and smiling inside.

>import ENi18n
>import ZHi18n

en = {…ENi18n, moreStuff}
zh = {…ZHi18n, moreStuffZH}
pt = {…ZHi18n, moreStuffPT}

“Hey man can you fix this? Seems like we are missing the Portuguese i18n. Check this file please (path)”
“I’m sorry I don’t understand, can you call me and explain?”

Why do I need to explain this? What is difficult to grasp here? How can it take more than 20 seconds to know what to do here? It’s not even a file I made, you made it and I just ran into it!

Fuck man, I’m going to blow my brains out.

People who reuse variables.
Yeah, sure, let's just go declare
number1 = g * 86;
Oh and 10 lines down let's reset it
number1 = 0;
I WILL FIND YOU. I WILL DESTROY YOUR SMALL RAM 'ed THING YOU CALL YOUR COMPUTER.
Variables should be made for one purpose and one purpose only.

If git was written in english or in ancient greek it made no difference. It's everything counter-intuitive and you have just to learn commands by heart and google the errors. Because nothing makes sense, even if you know how it works and you used it for years

Acquaintance of mine brags that he made a "Facebook password cracker" that took less than 30 lines of code.

I take a look at it, then I realize it's brute force password cracking.

Oh dear.

Facebook doesn't even let you do that many password attempts, not to mention that brute forcing passwords is going to take more time than the expected lifetime of the sun. (exaggeration? Maybe. But you get my point.)

Why are we still here? Just to suffer?

Does anybody else think the new expressions are nice and all, but most of them are not really made for those small avatars we have?

most often it looks like the person is about to ask me about how they got their scars or they are making fun of asian eyes while laughing about it

it looks great once you zoom in on the profile, but on the smaller size version it just looks odd

there is some exceptions that actually look great on the small avatars too, but most of them don't

Fucking shit i just had a 3 days chat with google's cloud engineer about an issue i had in a project. eventually the issue occured due to an update they made on some projects involving IAM changes that required some changes from my part in my security toles. Like wtf haven't you heard of data fixes when you roll out such changes?! I just had my production env down for 72hours for their fuckup.
At least send an email regarding it so we could set it up in time

TL;DR just read this
So my current (student) job. Asked me to count inventory. Did so, on paper because nobody had a list of the product barcodes for easy cumulative scanning. I also made records for every single barcode. Then I had to key it in onto the Bookkeeping and sales software thing. They don't have keyboard shortcuts, so I quickly made an ahk script.
Had to manually type in everything 3ven though I had a digital listing.
Software lets you print barcodes for products but gives you an error when you try because you haven't assigned a code. WHICH YOU CAN'T DO IN THAT Crap. You also can't search for a product based on code.

Found out it used access as a back end for that buggy c++ thing that crashes with 'operation not permitted' when you press the red x. Great! Now I can import! And there is a barcode field. Wow. Fucking fantastic. What a fuckfest.

Their website. Their fucking website. Great from a user's standpoint, but my God. It uses joomla! However, version 2.5. That hasn't been supported for a long time. Part of the images are hard coded into the theme. The text editor flips. Adding a page sometimes works, sometimes it doesn't, and sometimes makes 2 pages.

And their cnc lathe runs on a laptop with Windows 3 on it, but hey, fine

When you think you fixed a problem and realize you just made the problem much bigger than it was

Gdpr thing aside...

Does anybody read the new policy...

I just did for 2 apps (intel driver software and 9ga.. You know it)...

On the things that they collected on the side without you knowing include:
9ga:
Device memory, language, battery level, timezone, unique device identifiers, compass, accelorometer and microphone... Even service provider and signal strength

Intel:
Website you visit, how you use your computer(vague too vague) and computing environment.

Did anybody knew for sure before this that their apps are listening to them? That they just made a profile of you with all the data?

With all this they dont even need your ip they already know who you are and what you do on a daily basis...

There are 20 more but it will be waaay too much to write about. These 2 are way worse since 9ga doesnt use microphone for anything... And why a driver reads what websites i am going to?

The question "are you busy" is the most loaded fucking BS question ever. If you answer and say you're busy you get told that you aren't that busy since you answeted the chat. If you don't answer the messenger blows up your shit asking many more times and possibly even fucking calls you.

If I don't answer, I'm busy go the fuck away. "But it was super important and I needed it fixed right away!" Ok, but when I answered your message just 4 minutes after your originally messaged me don't make me spend another 5 minutes asking for information you knew I was going to ask for and could have provided in one of your follow up messages (Client name, website, page with the problem, description of the problem). Also, don't tell me that it has to get fixed because I'm the one who made the mistake. It has to get fixed because it's wrong, it doesn't fucking matter who made the mistake.

So I just finished a little web design project that I created a while back.

Its a simple clock widget that highlights different words to create a sentence that describes the time.

I originally made it a few months ago, but never got around to finishing it up.

You can check it out at timeclock.ml

Just a little project that I though I would share!

You're all fucking idiots with no thoughts of your own. No one gave a shit when Drupal and Django made the master/slave change 4 years ago because the idea of the "regressive left" wasn't the cultural enemy of the zeitgeist.

Think for your fucking selves instead of being so brain-dead and reactionary to something that doesn't even affect you.

Fucking neo-reactionary bullshit, that's what it is. You people don't care, you just want an excuse to rant at "teh SJWs".

Fuck.

#CocktailRant

TODAY: Azzurro

Made with coconut liquor, rum, blue syrup and pineapple/passion fruit juice, Azzurro is one of the few cocktails that can make you really freaking drunk while don't noticing it.

Just throw everything in a blender and mix it with some ice cubes.

Ingredients:

- Curaçao Syrup
- Malibu
- Barcadi white rum
- pineapple juice
- passion fruit juice

Why can't you just fucking tell me what type of website you want. Every week you are fucking adding/removing new features and don't want to pay for it. You know what? Fuck you! From next week Monday I' am putting your website on hold until you agree to pay for the changes we made for the past 3 weeks.

On the same note, fuck you to my General Manager who thinks he will get laid for not charging for the changes made to the website. She is just using you dumb piece of shit.

Based on @darksideofyay "poll feature" request I made a simple bot to make them.

Just post this as a comment:
@PollBot Q: <Your question>?
A:
- <Answer 1>
- <Answer 2>

// Up to 10 answers
It will post a comment for each answer, just upvote the one you like (look at the upvotes to see the result of the poll).

P.S. It's not ideal and it's running on a mini PC in my house, so it could fail sometimes. :P

You know how my 'about' here says I create features from bugs?!? Well if you didn't before, now you do.. :P

Anyhow, today the most bizzare thing happened.. Customer played 'reverse uno card' on me..

Meaning?!

They reported a feature missing on uat env, when in fact I fixed a bug they have on prod..

Not sure how I should feel about this, but it sure made my day! (: I just hope they will not open a bug report for this missing bug..

Just received the stickers, thank you ! It made my day... 👍

the feeling when you have typed up ans signed a resignation letter and still need to turn it in and "the talk" with your boss.

made all the better by the fact that we are opening a new location in the time span of the 2 weeks notice I'm about to give.

oh and the boss will be going on vacation just after that.

-click-

MySQL: 'the table does not exist'

I just fucking made the temp table dude, that's what you literally do in step 1 .... how could it not....

-click-

MySQL 'Records: 1 Duplicates: 0 Warnings: 0'

Me: "Oh there we g---"

-click-

MySQL: 'the table does not exist'

Me: "Hey you just worked!"

-click-

MySQL: 'the table does not exist'

GOD DAMN IT

-click-
-click-
-click-
-click-
-click-
-click-

MySQL 'Records: 1 Duplicates: 0 Warnings: 0'

Me: Uh you're working now?

-click-

MySQL 'Records: 1 Duplicates: 0 Warnings: 0'

-click-

MySQL 'Records: 1 Duplicates: 0 Warnings: 0'

-click-

MySQL 'Records: 1 Duplicates: 0 Warnings: 0'

Guess that API just needed breaking in....

People: "Well we could put this data in the address book.....?"

Me: "Wait, what does that data have to do with the address book? Does a given address need that data / is it specific to that address?"

People: "No it's not related to addresses ... we just thought we could put it there."

Me: ....

Me: "So if you use that address you always want that specific data you want stored in the address book?"

People: "Oh no it's not tied to addresses."

Me: ....

Me: "So help me out here, when do you use a given piece of data? In the example here, what made you add that information?"

-Silence-

People: "Um, I'm not sure."

Me: "I think it would be a good idea if we found out. That might provide us some important guidance here."

Don't you just love it when you come in late and the commit you made last night and were certain was going to work, doesn't work and everybody is pissed because of it? And all because your shell won't run since the line ending of your sh file was somehow Windows instead of UNIX.

Fucking love it ^_^

Manager: this feature is not working correctly
Me: yes it is
Manager: no it isn't, change it to do X
Me: but X doesn't account for half of the logic
Manager: I don't care just get it done

(1 day later)

Manager: hey, the changes you made aren't accounting for some of the logic we need. Change it back immediately!
Me: ...

"You have to change your password, because you've either just registred or your password doesn't comply with our guidelines anymore."

I've not made my account recently.
The question beeing: How can they know if they "should" decently hash it? 👿

A semiconductor company wants a custom desktop program to graph the data from their machines.

Company: We want to get a trial version before buying it.

Me: *Just staring at them*

In my mind: Soooooo you want me to invest my time in creating a custom made software specific to your machines and you might end up being happy with a trial version and leaving me empty handed?

Might as well create the program and put so many pop ups to annoy them no? 😂😂😂

omg omg omg. I just found out rebrickable has an all inclusive Lego pieces and sets database updated monthly FREE and under a CC license!! And their API is also available for use under CC. And I'm so excited I could pee because this just made it possible for me to jump right in on a personal project I've been wanting to start and my SO/friends just look at me and smile politely when I try to explain to them what a goldmine it is to find a library that does exactly what you need and is free too. So I needed to come somewhere and share my news and know I'd be understood. <3

Sony.

I don’t *hate* them, but I had really high hopes for Xperia smartphones back then, five years ago.

So I saved up and bought one. That’s what I got:
1. It was getting slower and slower
2. Micro usb broke just months after I got the smartphone
3. Sticky fragile screen with absolutely no oleophobic coating
4. NO UPDATES TO KITKAT AND LOLLIPOP! They just left us behind!

5. The main reason.

I catch moments with my camera. For me, camera is a vital feature, the most significant factor.

I once needed it really urgent and it just said “Camera is unavailable”. And that’s all. Camera is gone forever, broken. Factory reset haven’t fixed it.

You, alongside with Meizu, turned me away from android irreversibly and forever. When I heard about no update, I literally felt abused. Just like a girl whom random fuckboy made a proposal to, fucked and then left just months later.

With that level of customer support, basic respect to me as a user and buyer and that level of quality control, fuck you and your sloppy bricks you call smartphones. Maybe things are changing now, but I don’t care anymore and hardly ever will.

P.S. it heats up as hell, fucking pocket stove

My biggest problem with designers is when they have no empathy for the platform(s). Here's a design that I made based on my love of graphic design and Photoshop. Over to you to just slap it on iOS, Android and web. Ends up as a substandard result everywhere.

And, of course, the Photoshop designs look great to managers.

Don't you just love it when you're in the middle of an agreed content freeze and a marketing drone demands an immediate content deployment to production because they made a blog post and it's "super urgent" that it goes live right now.

Just need to vent, so here goes:

Fuck doing cutting edge projects for great glory, low budgets and tight deadlines. I'm tired, burnt out and just don't give a shit anymore.

I got promoted to lead dev and thought my fortune was made but what it really meant was just: Here solve all these bullshit bugs that the rest of the team can't figure out and oh we are also taking this single app you guys made and scaling it globally. You have half a year to figure that out. You handle the devops.... sigh

Fuck that noise.

Honestly i just feel like quitting and finding a nice specialist place, with a cap of at max Senõr developer, no more being the one making the big decisions for me, rather just diving into certain areas and coding the fuck out of that. Maybe some teaching too, i like that.

Anyway, won't happen right now, i need the salary. My wife just graduated and can't find a job what with a certain flu fucking over the economy, so I am stuck here for now.

Kinda positive rant: Started my new job today after I quit the previous one (or as we started to call it the "bad place"🔥). Lot's of nice people and so far a really nice atmosphere. A bit of information overload. They are working with a lot of technologies which isn't necessarily a bad thing but it kinda scares me. Also made me sad I have to start all over again making friends...I just felt really "new" you know.

Judo.

I might sound like one of those wierdos that are overly into Japan, Martial Arts and such, but I really enjoy Judo.

It is a sport where you have to FEEL the contact with your opponent.
Practising Judo made my day-to-day stress go away in just about 20m and also kept me in good shape, made me meet a lot of people/friends, lead me to live in a certain way and interact with people in a certain way (a good way, actually).

It also taught me which parts of the body are the most dangerous/fragile and cause the most pain.

All Russian luxury brands are scam. And I mean ALL of them. No matter if it says "made in England" or "made in France" on the package, it's still a scam if it's Russian deep inside. It's just the regular shit repacked and sold at 20x the price.

Here's the algo:
1. You lookup the brand name that claims to be luxury
2. If it has something to do with Russia (Russian executives, etc) — it's a scam.

This doesn't cover the regular, non-luxury brands. AK is still a good weapon, KMS is still a good windows 10 crack :)

Sorry guys but I have to vent!

I made such a stupid mistake I want to kill myself right now. In short you can call it ignorance..........

I spent so many hours trying to find a solution to a problem of invalid signatures being reported by an OAuth provider I'm making, just to find that Chrome was blocking requests to http.

So it was not a problem, to begin with. Aaaaarrh........ I'm so mad at myself.

So I just had a bit of a shower thought. Suppose you could get the linguists to break a language down and define all the rules that make up that language as if it were a protocol - exceptions included. If you get an arbitrary string of text, could you match against those rules, then break that down to the information it contains, and use that information against a new rule set to construct a new valid sentence containing the same information. Would you just have made the ultimate translator?

Just started today with Python 3. I don't know but I really start to like the language. Its not to difficult and it has nice syntax. Currently I'm working on a little financial overview generator. It parses the CSV file from my bank and sorts it into categories. Really fun to make. Do you guys made some nice projects in python?

Fuck the JavaScript ecosystem; Fuck React, Redux, and a big special fuck you to React-Router. And fuck interviews that give week long assignments.

The whole fucking JavaScript community makes the simplest things so complicated just so that they can tell Backend and Mobile Devs “Hey our job is difficult too”; fuck you, it isn’t! You made it difficult. and so that they can write corny emoji-laden medium articles about it to supplement their meagre income. What’s more the articles are outdated in less than a week.

Fuck JavaScript; APIs changes everyday a week and it’s documentation is updated every decade.

Almost at my company for two years, and not a single raise or compensation adjustment. No bonuses. No nothing.

I was scheduled to get something in April, but COVID hit and fucked it up for everyone.

But hey, if you're on sales you get a BONUS on top of your commission for selling a product and get a mandatory meeting every Friday that the entire company has to attend, just to jerk each other off with deals we've made.

Yes, we make a product. Yes, you are hired to sell it. We cannot live without each other. Just blows that the engineers are under appreciated, underpaid, and just not cared about.

After all those years, I finally understood what makes Half-Life 2 so immersive.

From the very beginning, as the game teaches you things about itself, you discover that every model is made with you in mind. The barrel is just tall enough to jump on it, but not taller. The big crate's size is calculated precisely for you to jump onto it from a small crate. Ladders are comfortable for you to climb on. Everything in this game world designed around you, the human.

…except for combine constructions.

They're awkward to walk around. You keep lowkey clipping into them. Half-transparent armor fence looks like you can jump over it, but you can't. It's just a bit taller than that, on purpose. Combine towers are hard to climb onto. You keep bumping into things. Once you locate the ladder and climb all the way up, you bump your head into the ceiling. You don't have much room for movement on top. Combine walls have an inconclusive, uncomfortable physics model that is very annoying to interact with. If you run into it and jump, you clip into it just enough to stop your movement instantly.

This hammers in the message — combines aren't human. Their constructions aren't meant for humans. This was my biggest discovery the last time I played Half-Life 2.

HL2 is a strong contender to be my favorite game of all time.

ACPI YOU FUCKING CUNT

STOP IMPOSING SUCH SHITTY STANDARDS THAT REQUIRE AN OPERATING SYSTEM TO SCAN THE RAM FOR SOMETHING AND TO INTERPRET BYTECODE BY ITSELF!

JUST BECAUSE YOU WERE MADE TO UNIFY THINGS DOESNT MEAN THAT YOU SHOULDNT BE REDESIGNED FROM SCRATCH YOU FUCKING MOTHERFUCKING BALLS BUSTING SHITTY STANDARD ^1

ALSO, PLEASE FFS DOCUMENT YOUR SHIT-KNÖDEL WELL, PLEASE. WOULD MAKE IT AT LEAST BEAREABLE

^1 I realized I didnt use enough swear words

I am the old famous kiddy here, who just came back days before school exam starts^^

Just to say, I want to ask you all, is it ethical(?) to release a hacking/cheating creation tool for games for educational™ purposes?

I have been making a cheat creation tool called Mysterium, but I am not sure where to use it. I made cheats for some big title games, and reported them to the developers, patched, and got some in game items in return....

Long story short, is it okay to release to the public, or should i release this product to game developers?

Sincerely,
A kid who made cheats since he can't play games well and wanted to get some free items

Just got off the phone with a csr about a bug they found. No biggie, I said I'd fix it. Basically until it gets fixed I told them that when they do their process to make sure to do "foo" first, then "bar" second. As soon as I got off the phone, had to poop so I went to the bathroom, and as soon as I sat down I get a message from the same CSR, "Hey I did bar first, can I type foo then bar again?"

WTF DID I JUST SAY LITERALLY 2 MINUTES AGO ON THE PHONE. TBH IT WOULD BE BETTER IF YOU JUST DIDNT DO ANYTHING FOR 15 MINUTES BUT NOW I HAVE TO COMB CLOUD FUNCTION LOGS, FIND THE DOC UID YOU CREATED, FIND THE DOC YOU MADE, DELETE IT, DELETE THE ASSIGNMENT IN YOUR TRASH ASS WORKPLACE PORTAL, AND STILL FIX THE SAID BUG

Impulsively purchased a Nintendo Switch. I’m so glad it’s made just for me, you know, it doesn’t say “Nintendo Sub” or “Nintendo Dom”

Today I feel I made it

So today was my second day in new job. I am very happy because it is great improvement in all imaginable areas from my previous one. I feel treated better, colleagues seem to be more mature and friendly, I finally work again in English- speaking environment and etc. etc. i could go on and on..I ranted here couple of times when things got rough and it helped. It is very important during those desperate moments to see other perspectives and this app helped me tremendously! If YOU are reading this now and you are going through s****y times - just hold on and don’t give up on yourself, if I made it - you can make it too!

P.S. it’s not like I am feeling like a best programmer in the world or I am paid a lot, but sometimes you get the feeling that you are in a right place and right time, doing right things.

So im pretty sure I made the biggest/dumbest fuckup for the year already...
Deleting the majority of our RHEL server's root partition.

Blonde mistake for sure.

Technically i didn't actually delete it... just fucked up the block device so it's no longer recognised as existing.

I could go fishing for data and put it back together... but since i have the boot par and all the uset account configs... plus i actually documented all remarkable server updates cuz im trying to get better at the whole 'having a team' thing... im just gonna play it safe and go through it all like old school video games when you die right before the checkpoint so you need to go through the same paths again and again... but not too fast or youll fuck up somewhere easy and itll drive u nuts when u gotta reiterate again.

@jestdotty here you go. Always saying I just mention positives about myself... cant get much worse than this.

Just made one of those mistakes so obvious that you can't find it for 3 hours

Jesus shitting Christ. Do you want to know something by awful. A comment by @tahnik on a post by @yvang has just made me realise I have been fighting CSS to make it do what I want since IE3 came out.

In August 1996. 20 years ago. I'm 40. That's half my life ago. CSS, I salute you. You've been a worthy adversary.

would you guys like to see a blogging network?

it will
- be similar to youtube/medium in many aspects
- posts will be written in markdown
- related posts will also show up
- you can tag posts
- posts can be made private or link-only
- essentially just a privacy respecting, simple blogging network, where people can tell stories, write an article, etc
- i intend to make this somewhat social, eg. you can share your profile link with friends, follow people, etc

1) Never be afraid to ask questions.

There are so many instances of situations where assumptions have been made that shouldn’t have been made, resulting in an oversight that could have been rectified earlier in a process and wasn’t.

Just because no one’s asking a question doesn’t mean you’re the only person who has it.

That being said, it’s really important to figure out how to ask questions. Provide enough context so that the audience for your question understands what you’re really asking. If you’re trying to troubleshoot a problem, list out the steps you’ve already tested and what those outcomes were.

2) When you’ve learned something, try to write about it. Try to break it down as though you were explaining it to a child. It’s through breaking down a concept into its most simple terms that you really know that you understand it.

3) Don’t feel like you have to code *all of the time*. Just because this is what you’re doing for a living doesn’t mean that you have to make it your life. Burnout is real, and it happens a lot faster if it’s all you do.

4) Find hobbies outside of tech!

5) Network. There are a number of great communities. I volunteer for and am a member of Virtual Coffee, and can vouch for that community being particularly friendly and approachable.

6) Don’t let a company pay you less than industry standard and convince you that they’re doing you the favor of employing you.

7) Negotiate salary. Always.

8) If you’re a career transitioner, don’t be afraid to talk about your previous work and how it gave you experience that you can use in programming. There’s a whole lot of jobs that require time management, multi-tasking, critical thinking, etc. Those skills are relevant no matter where you got them.

9) If it takes a while for you to get a gig, it’s not necessarily a reflection on you or your abilities.

10) Despite what some people would say, coding’s not for everyone. Don’t feel like you have to continue down a road just because you started walking down it. Life’s not a straight path.

I'm fiddeling around with progressive web apps. I made something and hosted it on a subdomain. Today I made a typo and found my app on an other domain. All my assets and files are copied there. He even uses my SSL certificate.

It's not that spectacular. The app is nothing "revolutionary". It's just the first time it happend to me.

Have you ever found your code on other websites ? How did you react ?

Was working on an algorithm a few months back. I was not liking how long it was taking to process some data. A colleague of mine said: "Just throw out the data that is past a certain distance. You don't need it." At first I was shocked. Throw out data... Seemed so wrong at the time. He was correct, and it made sense. What was I saving it for? Posterity?

!rant

Sooo not so long ago, i was saying something about my recent first interview. I passed it and it felt so good and that kind of made me proud. But now it is even better! I just got my first peanuts as a developer and i must say "boy, it felt good" !

Thank you all, members of the devRant community for always giving me not only courage to try, ideas to research and reasons to laugh, but the most importantly: some insights of how things are out there. For a introvert like me it is really great to not simply step into the darkness, blindfolded 😁

Cheers to you all! 😘

Optimization issue pops out with one of our queries.
> Team leader: You need to do this and that, it's a thing you know NOTHING about but don't worry, the DBA already performed all the preliminary analysis, it's tested and it should work. Just change these 2 lines of code and we're good to go
> ffwd 2 days, ticket gets sent back, it's not working
> Team leader: YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO TEST IT YOUR CHANGE IS NOT WORKING
> IHateForALiving: try it on our production machine and you'll see the exact same error, it's been there for years
> Team leader: BUT YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO TEST IT

Just so we're clear, when I perform a change in the code, I test the changes I made. I don't know in which universe I should be held accountable for tards breaking features 10 years ago, but you can't seriously expect me to test the whole fucking software from scratch every time I add an index to the db.

I lack inspiration to practice my c++ and it's infuriating, the result is no code written in over a week.
I have extremely high expectations for myself and right now I lose sleep, sanity and any little self esteem I had in me regarding my progress
I know you can't rush knowledge, but I just want to built something at my level of practice that is somewhat useful to me and / or others, but when I do it, it's either shit or someone my level made it way better even if I really put some efforts in it
I won't quit but jesus this just feels awful.

When I was younger I had a decision to go into hardware or software. I chose software and have loved it.

Recentily I just spent 5 hours trying install a Linux distro on an old server. I made no progress.

I made the right decision. Hardware freaking sucks! You spend hours working on outdated pieces of crap and find that to fix your problem you need to sell you kidney to finance your project. Not to mention you have to wait for literally everything! It's like gradel builds everywhere! Want to install a new distro on your USB? Bam, 5min gone. Want to boot into bios and change one setting? BAM! more time wasted...

A note to the sysadmins out there: thank you. I love you. I am so happy you do this kind of work so I don't have to.

a bet:
this birthday, i will get:
lemon glutenfree cake (if any) because mom can't have gluten and sister likes lemon cake. i hate both of those. but that's irrelevant as it always was.

if any, then gifts will be anything except cigarettes which is basically the only thing within price range they're willing to spend, that i would actually be happy about.

birthday is just an artificially glorified ordinary day. and i'm not the type to do hysterics to artificially glorify it. and it's fine. but then, why are they artificially glorifying it while unwilling to actually glorify it properly, as in, glorify it for me?

pick fucking one. artificially glorify it, in which case, FOR ME, or just don't give a fucking shit same as i don't.

but why are you artificially glorifying it for the purpose of ignoring me and glorifying everything exactly in spite of me, without even being aware that you're doing that?

like seriously, what? make your "i love not you, but my daughter" day, as an extra to her birthday. i don't give a shit, i'm happy you have a nice relationship. but doing all of the "i love my daugther day" shit on my birthday, AND PRETENDING IT WAS DONE FOR MY BIRTHDAY, FOR ME, and being sad about me being sad that all you did "for me" was in fact for yourself and for everyone else, that's the combo that gets me.

"oh why u making me so sad by being so sad that i ignored everything you like and kept telling me you like for the past X years and i just ignored it because it's not my nor your sister's preference?"

guess why, you fucktard. how about you ignore the day next time instead of making it an unconscious (that's the worst, that they don't even realize it) mockery of the day.

"oh why are you sadand shitty feeling that we made this bullshit ignorable "celebrate you" day about ignoring everything that celebrates you, and made it into the opposite instead? why are you so demanding and cruel?"

SHUT. THE. FUCK. UP.
go have a walk with your beloved daughter and please ignore me as you always do.
just leave me the fuck alone.

We got new workstations today and the following happened:

Me: We got your new workstation but your screen doesn't have the right input to use it, so we'll exchange it too.

Her: No! I love that monitor!

Me: Well you won't be able to use the computer if you don't wanna change it.

Her: There has to be a different way!

Me: Okay I'm going to get some adapters and we'll try again.

After literally 30 minutes of searching I finally made it work.

VGA->DVI->HDMI->DisplayPort

That just felt so wrong.

Me: So it works now

Her: Thanks but why does it look so bad?

Me: It's because of the old monitor.

Her: Oh... *10 seconds silence* Then I'll get a new one.

Apparently, drake made a song called "Kiki do you love me".

No. Just no.

Too bad it was you and not MF Doom.

The iPhone is only good for consuming apps, that's it. If you want to use it for anything else, good luck.

Its keyboard is miserable.

Its browser is the new IE.

If you connect to a share folder, at random you lose all networking and you have to restart the phone.

You don't reliably get notifications so good luck explaining to your boss or client or girlfriend why you didn't reply back for hours.

Once the battery permanently dies, you're just expected to spend another $1k for the privilege of this suffering.

It took over 25 edits to get to this point in the message. I had to restart this status symbol 3 times in the last 24 hours in order to restore its ability to communicate. It is agony to use this substandard pile of garbage and it has objectively made my quality of life worse in the 18 months I've had it.

It's an iphone 12. I bought it new from the store. I thought Apple only intentionally made older phones unusable through updates, but this has been unusable since the beginning.

Co-worker put up a pull-request for his work, with no build file, no readme, no gitignore, and shell scripts for running the app (but not compiling it). O_o

The guy has been using atom editor even though we have license for Intellij for everyone, which .. whatever .. if it works for you...

In our daily stand, people offered to help him add the build files and he was like, "No, I know how to do it, I was just trying to avoid using Gradle until I had to."

It just made me think, "Yea I know you have all these nice screw drivers and hammers, but I'm going to keep using my hands and this stick so I can avoid using tools until I have to."

No matter how much social skill improvement I do, it never makes meetings with non-tech leadership type people go as I expect. It is ridiculous how I have gotten so good at communicating, to the point where I can easily manipulate people, but they won't fucking have a straight conversation. Do non-engineers have an inferiority complex every time an engineer slips and says a technical term?

I just sat down in a meeting where I was grilled for answers, and when I went to explain the bigger principal that made them confused, they didn't want that much detail. Wtf? Just tell me you don't care and you want the job done, no need to pretend you want it done together just because you want it done now and your way.

since i finally have a laptop i can actually get away with doing mobile development... what would you guys, gals tell someone new to the whole Android dev world to use?

Java or Kotlin?

dont worry about my background, i usually just deep dive into anything new, but want to see what the general devRantsis is on the topic.

ive made it this far so... :D

Try to finish some of the projects I've started in 2018. Right now I have a todo list text file, along with multiple written lists (the written ones are more focused on a single project normally).

-Finish the startpage I've been doing off and on for at least a month now. I ended up making a lot of it command based (just need to write the scripts for the commands..). I had a little config menu but I just got tired of it and the text box is autofocus anyways, so I figured I'd make it command focused.

-Nice little root safety script as I call it. I've made very stupid mistakes as root before. I once made a typo and ran "chmod --recursive 644 /" while half asleep. I believe I was trying to run that on the current directory I was in, but as you know, the . and / are right next to each other. Basically the script would see what you're doing and echo "you're about to do x, are you sure that's what you want to do?". Something I know I could knock out in a day, but I've been putting it off for at least a year now.

-Compiling notification. I saw something similar once a few years ago, and it was so fucking cool. I remember it being a Mac, and it had a notification that would basically tell you how many files and shit you had left to compile if you were building something. Kinda want to build something for polybar.

-FUCKING RUBBER DUCK DEBUGGING TO THE EXTREME! This one was inspired by a comment someone made once months ago. Might have been here, or reddit, or in real life, not sure. Basically a big ass fucking rubber duck with LEDs in it that will like glow red if your code wouldn't compile (I think Visual Studio has like an automatic error detecting thing in there?? Maybe something similar if I can figure that out). Honestly not sure how the fuck I'd do this one, but I love the idea and I really want to fucking do it

There's more shit. These are just the main ones I want to attempt sometime in the near future.

The amount of energy spent to just write ‘Hi’ and click a send button is so big that we should consider banning of sending hi messages.

Instead of just saying “Hi!” we are now using analog to digital preprocessors that convert it to bunch of 0 and 1 to send it over communication layer and deliver it to other human being that will convert it from digital to analog by reading it but that is simple.

By sending message using phone we also:
- save it to local phone
- convert it to couple protocols
- transmit it over air so make connection to internet provider services that would generate logs on this provider as well as whole routing table before it gets to the target person
- save it on messaging provider disk
- probably be processed by filters by provider, sometimes be reviewed or listened by third parties and also processed in bulk by artificial intelligence algorithms
- finally delivered to target phone and saved there where that person would just change this text to their inner voice and save it
- sometimes encrypted and decrypted
- sometimes saved on provider
- sometimes saved on phone manufacturer cloud backup
- don’t get me started on people involved to keep this infrastructure in place for you just to say hi

There are also some indirect infinite possibilities of actions for example:
- emit sound and light that can lead to walking from one room to other
- the floor in your house is destroyed cause of it so you need to renovate your floor
- sound can expose your position and kill you if you’re hiding from attacker
- sound can wake you up so you wake up in different hours
- it can stop you from having sex or even lead to divorce as a result simple hi can destroy your life
- can get you fired
- can prevent from suicide and as a result you can make technology to destroy humans

and I can write about sound and light all day but that’s not the point, the point is that every invention makes life more complicated, maybe it saves time but does it really matter ?

I can say that every invention we made didn’t make world simpler. The world is growing with complexity instead.

It’s just because most of those inventions lead to computer that didn’t make our world simpler but made it more complicated.

OKAY WHAT THE FUCK JAVA.

At school we were assigned the task to do Huffman's algorithm. Since I am way ahead of all the others, I made a GUI for that. (Btw, we use BlueJ for Java, it's just painful)
Now... I made a JTextField to put the output, which would be any character from 0x0 to 0xFFFF, into it.
Apparently, there is a bug in the setText method, which throws random NullPointerExceptions right into your face if you give it those Unicode characters.
So I looked it up:
It was a Bug, in JDK 1.6.something, where putting a 0xFFFF together with a 0x10000 would cause this. Now you may think, do we still have 1.6? No, we have 1.8 v171, WHY THE FUCK DOES THIS SHIT GIVE ME A NPE?! THE WORST PART IS I CAN'T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT!
AND IT HAS THE WORST UNDEFINED BEHAVIOR:
1. NPE, nothing else happens
2. The Text box just gets invisible, but the border stays visible + NPE
3. The box completely disappears + NPE

Try-catching it doesn't do anything, everytime I fill the box with text, one of those options happens, and the box was never to be seen again! NOT EVEN CREATING A NEW TEXT BOX AND ADDING IT TO MY WINDOW WORKS.

Don't you just love thise dev days that just flay by, looked at the clock now and its just after 5pm,been coding pretty much all day.

Was reading up on progressive Web apps last night and just as a quick test made my own website one, so this morning through I would take the next step.

Few months ago I had made an events list app for android, also just for fun, but I point blank refuse to take it to ios as I see no reason to spend nearly 6 weeks salary on a Mac book because they a bunch of dicks, not to mention the $100 you need to pay each year just for them to annoy you.

Anyway, so after a quick update to my api, no thanks to Gitlab. I put together a fully offline capable pwa in react. So awesome how simply it really was, it's basically done, just needs some polish.

"reach out"

"touch base"

"ping an email over"

Just a couple of examples of terms people like recruiters love using that make you cringe so hard you want to throw yourself under the next bus. Very similar to clients who say:

"can we make it pop"

"I showed it to my graphic designer friend and they said it needs more fonts"

"I've made some improvements in Word for you"

Parking here fucking sucks.

I just made a url shortcut for finding parking, it redirects to the site of a parking lot 15 miles away, because if you get here after 8am, there is no parking. If you want me to work, then give me a place to park my car. Spend some of that executive bonus on building a new parking garage you dog rocket sucking suits.

Why do technical interviewers expect and force you to know a made-up word such as SOLID and treat it as if it's a gospel?

Is this "SOLID" a technical standard now that should be taught in schools?

I'm not against learning and using the principles in SOLID. I just find it funny (and weird) that if I didn't watch the talk by the guy who came up with SOILD, I wouldn't be able to answer the interviewer.

I know I am guilty of this too, but it gets quite annoying when co-workers just barge in with a "something isn't working" while providing as few details as possible, needing me to ask them multiple questions about what exactly the fuck is it that made them cry.

Maybe it is a courtesy thing where you don't offload too much information in one go, but I wish they'd rather also tell me in what part of the application, doing what, with what input, did they encounter the problem.

Sometimes even I'll also just subconsciously assume a couple of details, only to realize fifteen minutes later that we're talking about two different modules.

You know what I just love? That co-worker who constantly cracks his knuckles. I wonder what sound it would make if someone made his fingers bend just a little more.