Dear Apple.

Charging $99 for a one-year developer account is bullshit.

Best regards,
Me and every other tech-student on this planet.

“If everyone is admin, no one is admin and this is communism” - Our DBA

I just tried to connect on my own teletype portal 😂 And this is one of the best error messages I've seen lately 😂

People like this disgust me. I know one guy I worked with that bought his kid one of these, I asked him what for and he said: "there's that fortnite game everybody talks about"
Spoild brat.

So as new user I used devrant straight for 6 hours and this happened.
Am I the only one who thinks this helpful tip should be given at 3rd upvote and not 80th?

Time spent on Web Development :

1% : {
actual productive content and features
}

99% : {
Please. All I want is for this div to vertically align in this other one. Is that too much to ask?
}

Back at my university, one time I opened a terminal and I got this.

One of the most depressing error messages, maybe? Happened early this morning and I've been feeling sad ever since :-/

** Makes a design for a landing page, in a Single-page format. My designs are usually clean and "aerated" (breathing, uncluttered). **

** Pm comes in **
Me: Oh hey! I've finished my mockups
PM: Ah nice, let's see... ** comes to my screen **
---

PM: Not bad, but can you remove this spacing, this spacing, and this one and this one... oh and that one too?

** corrects them as she says, everything starts looking cluttered and I dislike it **

PM: Great! Can you export them in pdf?
Me: Sure.

** PM goes away **

** Proceeds to re-make the mockups more "breathing" with an evil smirk **

Ui stands for "you and I" !
That means that however stupid ui is if u and I get it then it is good!
What would you say about this one?

Few weeks ago one guy has posted here something like: "Just started work at PornHub".

And now I see this:
(coincidence?..)

While I was looking for a wallpaper to use on my laptop, I bumped on this one and nostalgia kicked in!
It only took an instant to save it and set it!!! 😂
Whoever did this, s/he gets my respect!

Reviewed the code of one of my employees and found that comment: Todo: Improve this if thomas complains.

Got this shirt today 😎 super happy and excited 🤓 I am definitely going to wear this one tomorrow 😀

Want to Google io earlier this month and a senior director at Google game a presentation and used a chrome dino for a demo and after I found him on LinkedIn and asked her m where I could buy one and he asked for my address and sent me one for free. Idc what any of you say Google is really cool for doing this.

What the fuck is this one-way interview bullshit?

"The organization you are interviewing with has come up with a series of interview questions that they have requested you to respond to. This is an on-demand interview which means that you'll be recording your video interview answers at your convenience as long as you submit them before the deadline." -- sparkhire.com

Like seriously?
What if I have questions? I have plenty, and I find those questions considerably more important than whatever bullshit gotchas the company wants to annoy me with.

One-way interview.
Fucking really.

At least have the decency to talk to me.

My sister just showed me this. Stress ball and rubber duck all in one!! 😁

This mother fucker right here.

Today I was asked as a favor by one of our vendors to assist one of their other customers with an API integration issue. We work very closely with this vendor and help beta their products etc.

I'm helping as a favor. And this guy could not be more of a dick. Constantly throwing his 20ys of experience at me and saying the API is broken. A good portion of my job is API integration so I've seen 30+ platforms all done differently and this one in question is by far the simplest.

Where does this chodemuffin get off being a dick to me? You know what buddy. Eat a dick. Figure it out yourself.

When you want to visit a website with tons of ads and this pops up. Am I the only one who visits Dev Tools then?

I found this in one of my older projects. And I felt it.

LOL this was actually a true story, it seems she had to delete her twitter account and make a new one! 😂😂😂

New setup is nearly finished 😍

Six active monitors right now ran by one laptop (three monitors including the laptop screen), one computer (also used as a server, two monitors) and one real rack server (one monitor).

Also bought a new switch and getting led strips tomorrow.

I already am in love with this baby 😍❤

Since no one has mentioned it - Happy birthday, Linux.
And thank you, who goes through fire and water debugging this enormous creature (this could've been worse, right?)

I saw this and thought "Wow, only one ++ away from 10,000!"

This was just a „you had one job“ moment. I double tapped a rant to give it a ++ and immediately this message appeared. devRant, why do you give me such unnecessary notifications?

THIS is a good BIOS. I just got this thinkpad (since the screen in the one I had broke) and I was like "I'm going to use always fn as ctrl" and I see this. Thank you thinkpad

On the train's public WiFi while traveling and want to use a VPN connection to one of my own VPN servers.

I'm now just realizing that the openvpn port is probably not an allowed one on this network and I set the port to the default openvpn one 😥

Fuck me sideways right now.

!rant

And so it began.

I made debug duck-chan (with devrant-chan of course lol)

@No-one this is your fault xd

I swear to god Dick Davis is the coolest wannabe and biggest threat here..

PS - This is a figure from one of my textbooks

!rant

So I went for a movie last night in one the biggest malls in my city and this is what I found.

This is the pic of one of those touch screen monitors they have for information..

Come on guys.

This one, is for all you haters out there tonight!
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Cause I'm PHP, I'm dynamite
PHP and I'll win the fight
PHP. I'm a power load
PHP, watch me explode()
I'm dirty, mean and mighty unclean
I'm a wanted code
Public enemy number one
Understand

One of my colleagues at work has cooked up this amazing amazing method.. and guys brace yourself.. This code is on production..

Arriving at the Hague very soon, can't wait to see all the dutch devvies and the Belgium one!

We'll keep ranting about this :)

When you have one problem and you decide to use regular expressions...

You need to know this: you have two problems now.

Not me, but a colleague questioned himself for a while over this one. He simply forgot a semicolon when doing some server maintenance:

sudo yum remove application1 sudo yum remove application2

This didn't just remove application1 and 2, it removed sudo and yum too. One slightly embarrassing call to the ops team later, we had to replace the box.

This, ladies and gentlemen, is why you should automate your server maintenance!

Tfw everyone uses a cute duck or little animal as a debugging buddy, and then there's me...
I like this one tho. :)

Bought six mini NAT vps's for quite cheap for one year and now deploying them all into VPN servers.

This is very fun 😊

Another hackathon is over.

Didn't win this one either but I am slowly recognising my weaknesses and (hopefully) getting better.

A good night's sleep and I'm ready for the next one. :)

Beyond Hackathon 2017 @ Athens, Greece

Most expensive and best rated school form in my country

Most polite, educated and responsible students

...and this is how they look like one minute before class starts

Well here is my new setup.
Left and center screens are connected to one laptop. Where I run my editors and terminals.
Rightmost is connected to another old laptop. This is for browsing and slack.
Using synergy to share mouse and keyboard.
What do you think of this setup? Any better way to do this?

And in one foul swoop I am unemployed with bills due, an engagement ring to pay off and medical shit... This is fine

You know you're a programmer when you're doing math and you write == instead of = (Am I the only one who does this?)

After doing an exam with dubious answers, the teacher gave us the answers with our exams scores.

One question could have two answers and mine was one of them and was "wrong" so I asked the teacher:

Me: hey, this one is right too isn't it?

He: yeah, but the right answer is the other one.

Me: OK... So shouldn't it be reviewed, nulled or given points to both?

He: no, because the answer is this one.

Me: care to explain how you have two right answers but this one is the "right" one?

He: yes, because its "righter".

Me inside: FUCK OFF AND DIE YOU PIECE OF SHIT!!!!

Me: you got to be kidding right?

He: no. Its this one.

So I changed course and never had to deal with that piece of shit again.

I am puching myself over this one.. This made it into the official release. And this is one of the public screen shots that I saved to my phone from my devBlog.

How did I not see this??

.. "SizeTest" ..

While surfing, I read one article of 45 jokes only programmer will get....

This is the more realistic one:
What do computers and air conditioners have in common??

Ans: Both useless when you open windows

The link between one of the server units and our router has been disconnected and the sales dept. has gone completely offline,

Just because of this piece of crap:

Delivered project this monday and gave the client one week where he can request changes free of charge. Changes made since monday: 43. This will be the last time I provide this service

Found this one in Facebook 😂 This one seems quite popular and IDK if someone's posted it here yet.

!myContent

Saw this posted on one of my slack channels and made me laugh.

Advice to all new programmers, take this one from personal experience. DO NOT PUT SWEAR WORDS IN DEBUG STATEMENTS.
You will miss one, it will go to production and it will get picked up by your log monitoring...

Why nobody uses public/private key authentication for ssh and disable password auth?

Am I the only one around here doing this?

Yes, this is actually a real thing.

I wonder in what you learn in the prerequisite "Keyboard and Mouse skills" class if this one teaches you how to type and delete text...

Took me hours to set this shit up and finally everything is clean and ready for work

Thank you

Good luck💦little one💦

Boss : Need very very little change on our project
Dev : Ok, what is the change?
Boss : This, this, this, this and just this one.
Dev : Really very very little.

I found a bunch of my old c/++ projects and this one is funny to me for some reason

Me: Hey Steve why are you working at this workstation today?

Steve: Cause I broke my computer and the one next to my computer, and this one is taking so long to sign in.

Me: It's probably just taking long because it's talking to the other two to find out if it should log you in.

Steve: Oh dear, can it still talk to the one I turned off?

Someone tell OnePlus that they're drunk and should go home. I AM PERFECTLY FINE WITH THIS ONE... devRant can do whatever it wants.

I like this one the most, it was a gift from a girl I had a unrequited crush with.

It was like: "hey I make stickers, you can have this one, but it's a little girly, do you mind?" and I was "(😍) of course I don't mind"

Woke up this morning with a fuck this shit mood. I need to write test specs for a system I don't know shit about, and it seems no one who work with this system wants to talk to me, so I gave up and started devranting and reading a game dev book. Fuck this shitty job.

Started with PHP about one month ago, and one of the first facts I noticed is that this language it's fucking violent!
die, explode

I got an interview tomorrow!!! It's the second one for this company and hopefully I'll be out my shitty job soon!

Despite beeing one of the strangest ads I ever saw, this one is a beautiful and scary example of advertising tracking. Although I used a vpn and incognito mode I saw this ad on a page really not tech related at all.

for(i = 0; i < n; i++);//<-- this one
{
//Do stuff
}

One day struggling why this for loop in C just iterates once, found out that ";" was leaving the for body empty, and the "Do Stuff" ended beign out of the for.

At FOSDEM right now. For one, this is fucking heaven and secondly:

The amount of stickers here 😍

This one time, I turned off Slack, and actually got some work done.

April fools by M$. (it had reset and off them not just this one)

One day an iphone is going to explode, and samsung users are going to be like, samsung has had this feature for yearrs lol

Someone really needs to change the look of 'I' and 'l'
Guess what the first one is a capital i and the second one is a lower case L
This gets really confusing!

Cat of the day. My wife and I rescued this one

Spent multiple weeks preparing data for rendering. Part of this process is reprojecting coordinates of huge ass GeoJSON files (some files are 100gb+).

Compared one normal and one reprojected file with the head command and noticed no difference, then found out that this data already comes in the right projection....

Full-speed extraction it is!

Everyday I fell my soul being sucked by this job.

We have too much liberty and it's all scattered, every fucking project uses a different framework.

Everything is a mess, no one seems to care and I'm feeling like shit for being the only one that seems to care.

Every time I start job hunting I fell depressed because of this nonsense bullshit they call job requirements.

Just wanna run away from this mess and never look back.

One hour later and you come up with this shit? Really Windows?!

Thanks to Microsoft and Windows for making my work day one hour shorter. FUCK OFF WITH THIS FORCED UPDATE/RESTART SHIT!!!! Who the fuck in Microsoft thought that this was a smart idea? Fucking assholes. And yes, I did tell it to only update outside office hours. Doesn't work apparently.
Luckily it's easy to explain to my boss why I had one hour of not being productive.

"Hey, this Chrome autofill feature is so helpful and does exactly what I expect" - said no one ever.

So at this moment I'm testing my game's alpha build on Xbox One. So... Here's my PC connected to Xbox One connected to monitor and a huge pile of cables because of it

StackOverflow in a nutshell
This gets me so angry; Two identical answers, one downvoted into oblivion and the other one upvoted like it is a holy grail.

100% honesty

I feel as if my friends from school are dropping me one by one and it's boiling down to my IT friends. I really like my friends and stuff but they're treating me like I'm invisible so I'm not posting this on instagram, not on twitter, and I'm not texting this to anyone, because I'm really starting to realize how big of an impact the life of IT studies has on me, and how amazing the community is. Thank each and every one of you for simply being here on devRant and I appreciate all of you.

Let's debug the shit out of this. One hour untill deadline and still not working..

!dev (or maybe dev? Idk)

I'm a strong starter but not a strong finisher. I have rarely ever enjoyed putting "final touches" on anything. This is why I would appreciate working with someone who's a strong finisher and is not a credit-thief. But in this day and age for some absurd reason one must be both a strong starter and a strong finisher. One should be a complete person. 🙄

From now on I shall only post shit quality, and old outdated memes, like this one:

I wonder how programmers make money. And found this answer

One creates Bugs and other fixes it.

Love this programming world 🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩

Just bought one of those ASUS routers. And damn have I been missing out!!! This speed and connectivity range is beyond anything Inhave owned before!

And I thought they had removed all of the joke questions from SO! I haven't seen this one, maybe it was lost to time.

I'm going to be all tech-snobby and share one of my favourite tweets.

I hate it when I see people doing this!!

I don't think I'm the only one who has this problem as a programmer and a father.

Am I the only one?
Do {
I want to know EVERY FUCKN SKILL A DEV CAN POSSIBLYHAVE, but I want to know it all NOW..
googling 30 times for tutorials and posts about a topic,
opening 30 tabs,
then spending around 30 seconds on each one ...
Trying 1-2 tutorials,
not understanding why I dont get this shit...
this is stupid
loosing interest in 3..2..1...
Aaand let's try and learn this new skill..
} while(true)

Welp

Thank you Syncex for one of the best powershell scripts ever. This literally sped up my laptop and surface :3

Am I the only one who finds the only one who finds this hypnotizing and amazing? It's like looking within a city and your code manipulates all the pathways. #IoT

That moment when you notice that you haven't saved one file and this caused all the problems... 2 hours down the drain

Why do job descriptions for ONE developer position, list down ALL the known programming languages, all the web technologies and frameworks available? From java kotlin swift php js jquery node to ionic angular laravel python and what not. Wtf? And this is not one, this is about 70 percent of the job descriptions I see these days!!

Paraphrased with imaginary ending:

Me: Ok so this X will never be more than Y items and not more than one pages?

Person: Yes. it won't be more than Y items and never more than one page.

Me: If this is always Y items or less and not more than one page, I can hammer this out quick then. If it is more than that it will take much longer to complete.

Person: Awesome!!!

-later-

Person: OK here's the template for Y x10 items and multiple pages.

Me: Oh I'm sorry, we're going to have to stop working on this. I thought you actually gave a fuck about this 'important' project and that you had deadlines you cared about, but apparently not enough to participate in this conversation with any level of intellectual honesty. Please fuck off now while I go work on more productive tasks....

There are two types of programming languages, one that everybody hates and one that nobody uses.

Finally understood this after learning Haskell.

someone posted this saying "tor isn't effective". Tore them a new one and explained how each failure point is only worst-case.

! rant
Create graphics and web pages that jam! This it! All one needs to be a successful front end developer. :D

Don't forget that today is towel day! So grab one 🧣 and rock this mostly harmless place 📖

Rabbit hole class refactoring.

"I'll just tidy up this method, oh and this one...and..."

Users of this Web site have been posting photographs of their desks, and I thought that I should join by submitting a photograph of one of my workspaces. This specific one resides in my bedroom.

I'm playing The Outer Worlds right now and came across this on one of the in-game terminals. I think this game dev needs devrant... 😂

This litte blond one helps me with low motivation and low energy 😋

Any one else feeling Mondayitis?

I literally can't be fucked today to do anything, let's all skip this week and try again next Monday.

this client couldn't figure out pagination.

and whenever items moved to next page

he could not find it.

He would create a new one.

Finally joined the 1000 club! And 5 more ++ on one of my rants and I'll get a stress ball. This week is really going well

It's 5pm whooooo!

Let's quickly bash this last query out for the day - seeing as I should have finished an hour ago anyway.

Spin up VM, it's been inactive for 6 months.... yay, login... "incorrect password" tries again "incorrect password", did I forgot it... no it's been the same for years,

ok let's try again slowly,
ok logged in,
jump into mysql,
write up this query,

join this table, join that table, join this other table, and this other, and this one, hahaha, and this one over here... sweet it's been months and I still no my way around this maze!

And now for the moment of truth... run!
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And bam, black screen, loading spinner, "Windows is updating"

NOoOooOooOooo!

Fuck it I'm out!

v2.0.22 is now officially LIVE in GMT+2. Congrats and good job everybody!

Let's not fuck this one up, shall we? Let's keep our shit together this time.

Am I the only one that wants so fucking much save this new Rant's avatar and put it into all social profile pictures?

Our team(except one guy) does follow TDD, it may or may not be the best but solves for us in most cases.

This one guy follows HDD : Hope Driven Development.
He writes some code, checks_in and HOPE it works :-)
And breaks preprod almost once per week.

I do not understand why everyone is so fanatic about stickers. Went to a conference one day and about 90% of all laptops had stickers and ich only wanted to free every of this small beautiful creatures from this ugly pieces of shit.

(in a meeting between o&m team and business partners to assign priorities to various tasks)
I.T.: So what priority would you put this new task?
Business : it's our 1.
I.T.: ok, and this other one?
B: it's a 1.
I.T.: ...

Uhm... am I the only one who thinks this is a vague as fuck answer and should've taken more than one sentence to properly inform users of their data protection methods? It can't be just me...

So I've opened myself to new software engineering positions and was recommended one where the first *benefit* stated:

- High engagement opportunities across our global client base

Am I the only one for whom this is a gigantic red flag and con rather than a benefit? wtf

Had to look into some old code today and had the "Is this my code?! This can't be my code!? No one else worked on this code, so it must be mine... But, but, it's so... good! And clean! And logical! And well documented! This can't be mine... Can it!? Hey! It works!" moment.

I was in middle of one project, and this showed up. well THANK YOU WINDOWS 😑

This one feature won’t stop producing bugs and the deadline is in a couple days and I am getting sucked into the hole of despair. I wanna return to monkey.

One time in college we had an android project for one of our courses. Then this one member of my team didn't want to install Android studio because he didn't want to install any unnecessary software and libraries to his machine. We wanted to do his part editing directly in github.

I just told this stranger that she was one of the most beautiful people I have ever saw and now I’m shaking

One of my coworker insists to take of shoes and socks while coding. He say that cold feet helps him concentrate.

This reminds me one of the Japanese anime about Mahjong, if you know what I am talking about.

Holy pony, writing one monster rant on this site and not coming back

You know your codebase is fucked beyond restoration when a one-dimensional array is indexed using two indices and this formula.

FUCK.

This is your life and it's ending one minute at a time.

Well, not necessary my favourite but the first one I learned.

I think the weird syntax and semantics combined with the ridiculous average length of variable names is a major flaw in this one.

Not sure if already posted, but I found this one on my phone and wanted to share this with you 🤣

Me: actually trying to finish a project for once (I’m REALLY close)

People that bitch I never finish one: You should make [Enter this idea], or why don’t you just take a break from that and work on another or this one

So my boss run 2 different companies, the one that hired me and the one that I work for like 40% of the time (through the first one).

This second company is now having a client that's asking for educational qualification for both my boss and me (?)

I mean, even if I didn't study, why would you need that? The product is up and running and works, so wtf do you want?

"Someone studied rich people for years and this is the five habits you should start having"

FFS, if I read this headline one more time...

When you're the only one in the office that codes in C++ and you get this email -- legacy project code here we come.

My mom is amazing, bought one of this for me to try and Limon concentrate because I love lemon juice

My dev goals:
Want to publish my first app in this month and at least one more in the year. :)

I'm too addicted and used to coffee...Like I can literally drink it right before going to sleep and I'll get a pretty good one. How bad is this? :|

who invented goddamned dynamic typing
its over one hour and i cant find myself in this goddamn object
GODDAMN JS

So I have a hardware project which requires two spindles to move something. Turns out one of the two i ordered has a sliiiightly smaller pitch than the other. Therefore it to moves slower than the other one and shit doesnt work.
FuckThis.exe I go to the hardware store and get two M8 threaded rods with nuts. Install it and it works. This shizz has less backlash than both spindles combined and cost 1/3 of just one propper spindle.
This is pretty much the first time I've seen the shitty solution work waaay better than the propper one.

I wanted to buy one when I get a job, and now this happens :(

One of the most underrated boost of morale in a workplace is giving credits and making acknowledgements.
Most higher-ups suck at this!

“An engineer?!… An open, shining mind, easy and inoffensive humour, this wide reach, they’re switching from one engineering realm to another, and really, from tech problems to society, then — to art. Those manners, that fine taste, good speech, coherent and free of filler words. One engineer is also a musician, another one — an artist, but all of them have those smart eyes…”

INCREASE SALES
this text is not for managers like you.

I fucking hate design agencies and everything related to fucking design!
Today we received an email from design agency asking us to put two images next to each other so that they can compare and see which one fucking fit better!

What is the difference between these two images:
first one has 28points of text size while the other one has 26 points ...

one more reason to hate this fucked up world!

This is a classic example of "We need to justify our Dev's salaries so we made a bunch of changes in the name of innovation."

Why did they have to do this? I miss the old design where one swipe from the top had 5 icons, one for wifi, one for mobile data, one for Bluetooth, one for battery saver and one for flashlight. If you wanted to access something extra, one more pull and you'd get all of the notification tray options.

Now these fucking things take up half of the screen. Absolutely worthless design.

F--- you Ruby, Gems and all this frustrating to install crap. Come on, it is 2018 and this is still one of the biggest issues on all projects depending on Ruby for some damn reason.

Encapsulate tasks
To abstract your case,
Full of the catharsis
And exceptions to face.

Didn't commit, oh wait,
More trouble? One reset.
We return and all hail
This programming mindset!

WTF!!!!!!!!!! THIS ONE IS NASTY!!!!! CANT GET THE POPU TO GO AWAY NO MATTER WHAT AND CANT SWITCH WINDOWS....UGH................. All my open tabs.....

Stroking my own pickle a bit with this one but pretty excited that a YouTube video I did in one take and am not entirely happy with my explanations hit 1000 views... Really should make another one aye...

Google wanted to be politically correct and gave faces different colors. But apparently using "black" or "asian" is a shame too so all of these emojies have same name.

This decision was very poor as it's hard to implement this duplicity in frontend so as always Devs choose easiest choice - just use the first one. And first one is always yellow...

Congrats on making whole lazy Dev world using your "correct" emojies enforcing only one face style.

one week ago me and my team built an android controlled robot in 2 days from scratch. that was the coolest project this month.

Technically couldn't get fired seeing as this was a schoolproject, but let's rant anyway!

So for a final assignment we had to create a WordFeud/Scrabble like game in Java with 7 others. We really got to know eachother and had a lot of giggles with the project.

At one moment one of us got bored and decided to photoshop the head of the person who's grading us unto one of the board tiles and we laughed and laughed...

...until we forgot to undo this during the demonstration >.>

I stumbled upon this job requirements, and I started to wonder.
What do most employers derive in looking for an IT team in one human being??
This is so graphic jeeeez.

I haven’t told anybody about this outside of my close friends and the dR discord, but I am getting another fumo. This one will be the Kaguya Houraisan fumo. (ᗜˬᗜ)

I just got a job this month and one of my colleagues talks by himself 😔 making jokes and criticizing his code out loud. It is very disturbing ...

it's 1:30am and i'm working and i feel more productive and peaceful working this way (when there's no one and i can concentrate better). this is the developer life? i love it!

I propose the brand new, AI-powered debugger.
When your program returns an error, like this one:
“x is undefined”,
…you convert it to SpongeBob case and add a clown emoji, like this:
“x iS uNdEfInEd 🤡”
and the program fixes itself and apologizes.

I hate when the manager gives a task to me and say: 'I think that in one day you finish this'.

I just had a look in the basement of our building, and discovered this setup. Any one have any idea what it might do?

Am i the only one who gets this more and more often as i update android versions?

Starting up the new Java project I'm assigned to.
Just to see that this project is made of pure black magic and tears of forsaken devs.
Crashing the jvm with segfaults on a regular basis is just one part of the magic.

Now I understand why no one volunteered for this project...

About one week in my new entry level job and I feel completely clueless and useless. This is my first professional environment. Is this a normal feeling? What was your first programming job experience like?

I hate capcha, and particular this one.

I have two math final exams on the same day, and one is scheduled 30 minutes after the first one 🙁🙁

I fucking hate math, and this shit sure isn't helping me.

Keep your state of mind to be either one of "This is a lot I can learn from this" or "Let's get this over with, as fast as possible", depending upon the client and nature of work.

I've running Mac for one month and one week now. Now, every time I'm going to use it my thought is: I JUST WANTED A NORMAL NOTEBOOK RUNNING LINUX I DON'T WANT TO USE THIS SHIT.

A tale of silos, pivots, and mismanagement.

Background: Our consultancy has been working with this client for over a year now. It started with some of our back-end devs working on the API.

We are in Canada. The client is located in the US. There are two other teams in Canada. The client has an overseas company contracted to do the front-end of the app. And at the time we started, there was a 'UX consultancy' also in the US.

I joined the project several months in to replace the then-defunct UX company. I was the only UX consultant on the project at that time. I was also to build out a functional front-end 'prototype' (Vue/Scss) ahead of the other teams so that we could begin tying the fractured arms of the product together.

At this point there was a partial spec for the back-end, a somewhat architected API, a loose idea of a basic front-end, and a smattering of ideas, concepts, sketches, and horrific wireframes scattered about various places online.

At this point we had:
One back-end
One front-end
One functional prototype
One back-end Jira board
One front-end Jira board
No task-management for UX

You might get where this is going...

None of the teams had shared meetings. None of the team leads spoke to each other. Each team had their own terms, their own trajectory, and their own goals.

Just as our team started pushing for more alignment, and we began having shared meetings, the client decided to pivot the product in another direction.

Now we had:
One back-end
One original front-end
One first-pivot front-end
Two functional prototypes
One front-end Jira board
One back-end Jira board

No worries. We're professionals. We do this all the time. We rolled with it and we shifted focus to a new direction, with the same goals in mind internally to keep things aligned and moving along.

Slowly, the client hired managers to start leading everything in the same direction. Things started to look up. The back-end team and the product and UX teams started aligning goals and working toward the same objectives.

Then the client shifted directions again. This time bigger. More 'verticals'. I was to leave the previous 'prototypes' behind, and feature-freeze them to work on the new direction.

One back-end
One conceptual 'new' back-end
One original front-end
One first-pivot front-end
One 'all verticals' front-end
One functional prototype
One back-end Jira board
One front-end Jira board
One product Jira board
One UX Jira board

Meanwhile, the back-end team, the front-end team overseas, all kept moving in the previously agreed-upon direction.

At this stage, probably 6 months in, the 'prototypes' were much less proper 'prototypes' but actually just full apps (with a stubbed back-end since I was never given permission or support to access the actual back-end).

The state of things today:
Back to one back-end
One original front-end
One first-pivot front-end
One 'all verticals' front-end
One 'working' front-end
One 'QA' front-end
One 'demo' front-end
One functional prototype
One back-end Jira board
Two front-end Jira boards
One current product Jira board
One future product Jira board
One current UX Jira board
One future UX Jira board
One QA Jira board

I report to approximately 4 people remotely (depending on the task or the week).

There are three representatives from 'product' who dictate features and priorities (they often do not align).

I still maintain the 'prototype' to this day. The front-end team does not have access to the code of this 'prototype' (the clients' request). The client's QA team does not test against the 'prototype'.

The demos of the front-end version of the product include peanut-gallery design-by-committee 'bug call-outs', feature requests, and scope creep by attendees in the dozens from all manner of teams and directors.

Never knew this one...swipe up on chrome mobile, logged in on Android and you get suggested content, nice! How have I not been using this? This will be a nice time killer for quick reads, interesting.

One hour before a deadline, one of my team members notified me he had completed his task and signed off. The only thing left to do for me was to merge our branches and submit the code for review. This was supposed go smooth with only a few changes made. But for some reason the build kept crashing and this ONE hour before the deadline and no way to reach my team member... This was a stressful situation to say the least.

And yes I am aware that you are not supposed to be merge branches one hour before deadlines.

!rant

Got a second (and last) interview on Monday... I so want this one! Awesome opportunity!!

One can't have any personal repo and git protocol is disabled by the proxies and we are calling ourselves devops welcoming.
This is simply fuckops.

How hard can it be to make a calculator app. Apparently Microsoft cannot get it right. You might say hey, but it works already. No it does not. See in math 1-(-1)=2 because the double minus sign cancel each other and turn into a plus. Well the w10 calculator app, just does 1-1=0 and show that this is the result. Yes this is the result of one minus one. This is not the result of one minus minus one. This is basic math .... Stop focusing on the interface and code the base right Microsoft.

This company have a group of three DB in their product. One DB consist of 130 tables, and they DO NOT HAVE ERD.

Better start one.....while I'm bored and do no have task yet.
~pokerface :|

When you find this in production code and git blames you for this. Luckily no one can every see this log output, because the next statement closes the frame.

At this rate, the upcoming iPhones won't have a charging port and you've got to buy a new one once the battery dies.

And another one bites the dust. This is colleague number 5 this year. So far only one person got a replacement. Great that all the rest of us get more workload to handle.

Meanwhile i overheard the manager make a sarcastic comment about developers like “who needs developers”.

Good thing my crypto savings are gaining atm. I’m giving this company another year. Max.

So this is about one assignment I had in my first programming class in university, I had a group which had 3 members, one saw the assignment and just quit, the other was always saying, "I Know what we have to do to complete this exercise" and I was like "great, then do it"...
Seconds later he just didn't do anything like "WT* man"

Swagger superposition: the generated server now works but the local hosted editor does not connect. I look at one screen and wonder: "Why does this work?" and then at my other screen (same code, same port) and think "Why DOESN'T this work?"

I want to say my thanks to this one seeder with one seeder out of 300+, who uses that niche tui torrent client. For some reason I was struggling to get this torrent to work, all day long. Despite being connected to multiple peers at the time, I was not able to transfer any data. Fixes literally 2 pending on my system trying to resolve this and suddenly this person comes along and I have a stable transfer rate 🙏🙏🙏

me, testing my software:

"ok, well it works for this case.. let me make a spreadsheet of all cases and test them one by one"

*doesn't create spreadsheet

*3 use cases later..

"Ah, you know what, this seems fine, I didn't change too much...............................
...........................................................
..........................
...............
.... it should be ok"

*cough*

you know what happens from here.

Monday morning: "Hey uuuh the client receives 3 mails instead of one and only one of them is good, there's a problem, go fix it"

Yesterday, me: - "Hey I've been looking everywhere, made hundreds of tests, there's a problem with the files attached to the mail, they're unreadable"
-" I told you it's in the code, you didn't look deep enough"

This evening: "Umm it seems that there's indeed a permission issue. So I'm gonna rollback everything you've done since Monday"

One year. One year and I live this hell.

Cargo cult programming at its finest. I need to build a separate project twice, and restart visual studio to get this one to work.

Why? No one knows anymore and there is not user story for "Unfuck the dev environment" so we're not allowed to spend time fixing it.

:-(
Firefox doesn't map correctly the controller (Xbox One) but it works on Chrome. (FF on Android Works)

This is literally the first time (for me) that something works on Chrome and not on FF. (at first shot)
usually it is the opposite.

One point for Chrome (this time)

but still 6,022*10²³ Points for FF.

I've seen lots of these clever cartoons on this site. And since I'm not a dev (I just play one on telly), I thought I'd post this as I think it's appropriate...

Was offered a Mid QA position in my home country and just for shit and giggles applied to a QA Lead for another one (remote) and they offered me the QA Lead one as well. And now I don’t really know how the fuck you are supposed to measure seniority for this kind of jobs.

I love how I watch a tut for a specific problem and then go down to the comments and see ppl say things like, "Awesome, dude you saved me hours. Now, can u show me how to do, this, this, this, this and this?" 🤦🏾 I'm like, bruh, u can't figure out how to do at least one of those things on your own??? 💀

Hey! It wouldn’t hurt if you were plugged into this meeting. Oh, and also this one, and this one, and this one, and this one, and this one, and this one, and this one, and this one, and this one, and this one, and this one, and this one, and this one, and this one, and this one, and this one, and this one, oh this one too, and maybe that one and this one, and this one, and this one, and this one.

Oh, cancel the one I sent you, need you here instead.

Tomorrow: why aren’t your projects done?

So Ive to make new screens in xaml in combination with C# (WPF)

So I had something like this in the codebehind
titleBox.Text = Properties.Resources.someKey

The resources looks like
<data name="someKey">
<value>some text</value> <!-- this is some comment --> <!-- and another one -->
</data>

The title got as value "and another one", when I removed it it became "this is some comment" removing that resulted in the value "some text"

And there's always this one answer on stack overflow, that one guy,
Who searches for the same on google, copies and pastes it on stack overflow :D

one more week....one more week....one more week....
One more week until I get off this stupid ridiculous project and into something at least a bit more sane

This one always shuts up a PM: "Anything is possible given enough time and money".

blank and this shit is happening.
This shit is one of the reason why i don't use things like this.

People that ask shitty, ridiculous and unintelligible questions.

There's hundreds of examples on stackoverflow, this one I saw just now on reddit.

Guess this is the last random post for me on devRant.

Finally got on the meme train and well it all started here for me seeing this one (template) years ago

while(energy>0)
{
Just this one last commit and I'll get some sleep...
}